Some stuff you probably should not say to White Americans:
“racist” – never ever tell White people that they are racist or anything close to it. It can lead to something far worse than racism: hurt White feelings, like White women’s tears. It will only prove to them that you are the racist one.
“whitey”, “honky”, etc – racist, even if you have a suburban pass.
“cracker”, “vanilla”, “mayonnaise”, etc – comparing people to food is dehumanizing.
“Do you prefer to be called White or Caucasian?” – pointing out their race makes them uncomfortable. In fact, pointing out any difference makes them uncomfortable. Instead, make it about stuff you have in common, like sports or the weather. Certainly not history:
“slavery”, “genocide”, etc – do not bring up the bad parts of their history. Deep down they know they are among the most savage, terroristic and thuggish people in history, so do not rub their noses in it. Their fragile pride depends on maintaining a false sense of innocence.
“Black lives matter” – in some circles this could get you beat up. Many Whites believe “All lives matter”, where “all” means “only White”, as in the White saying, “all men are created equal.”
“Can I touch your hair?” White people are not a roving petting zoo provided for your curiosity.
“What are you?” – not a zoo animal.
“Is it true what they say about White guys?”, “Is your hair real?”, etc – rude because it is too personal.
“As a White person, what do you think about … “ This is insulting. Whites think of themselves as individuals, not part of a hive mind.
“Why do White people…” – this makes it seem like you stereotype them.
“Why do you people…” – this is even worse because the “you” is othering.
“I like White people”, “I like White culture”, etc – see “Do you prefer to be called White or Caucasian?”.
“I watch Hollywood films”, “I’m into Christian religion”, “I’m into White girls”, “I admire your leader Donald Trump”, etc – this is a better way to show you like White culture, but to bring it up out of the blue will seem odd. And that “into” is kind of creepy too. Also, do not assume that any given White person likes all of White culture. They are individuals with individual tastes, just like everyone else.
“You are pretty for a White girl” – even if true, this is a backhanded compliment. It assumes that most White women are not all that good looking.
“You speak such good English!” – another backhanded compliment. It assumes they are either foreign or lack intelligence.
“You look so exotic!“ – this says more about you than them.
“Where are you really from?” If they say they are from the US, why assume otherwise?
“Totally rad”, etc – overuse of outdated White slang will not put them at ease or make it seem like you are up on White culture. In fact, it will have the opposite effect.
– Abagond, 2015.
See also:
521
Abagond, how come all your pictures of ‘blacks” are so ‘light”?
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Abagond, you are one of my favorite human beings!😄😄😄
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Seriously?
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@ Lord of Mirkwood
Is the title of this post “Stuff You Probably Shouldn’t Say to Southerners”?
Oh, but wait. This post can’t possibly refer in any way to you because you’re not really white.
It’s all that “Black Irish” blood.
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@ Abagond
I really enjoyed reading this post.
It caused me to LOL several times.
It looks like you had fun writing this one!
It’s good to see your comedic side is back!!
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“Totally rad.” I fell out, lol.
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I’m guilty of most of these;
I put a white guy out of my club for chanting, ‘Go (newly moderated word, Go (newly moderated word)…’ at another white dude who had Steppin’/Swingout/Swing dancing and Zydeco down pat. I told the guy that we don’t tolerate any racist words or actions in my clubs. The dude was livid and pointed out that he had a Black (ugly and fat, by the way) girlfriend and that he could NOT be racist. As I don’t want any of my patrons to feel unwelcome, both he and his girlfriend had to leave. (I’ve also put out anyone Black who makes anyone feel unwelcome because of his or her race.) (Racist)
‘YT’, or ‘White E’ or ‘White T’ are names that I call one of my oldest friends on my personal fb page. It started when we were young and he asked, ‘What’s up, homeboy’. I replied, ‘Not much, YT’. His Asian wife seemed confused by our apparent racist exchanges. (Whitey)
I usually go by their names. ‘What is that? Greek/German/Irish/Italian/…? They then breakdown their parent’s nationalities and ethnic groups.’ Or, ‘Are you Finnish?’ Them, ‘No, I’m Norwegian/Dutch/Scandinavian/…’. Me, ‘Not Finnish? What ever, we’ve already started and…’. One of my better friends is a guy in the Aryan Brotherhood. He looks like Brock Lesner but I just call him ‘Thor’ just to eff with him. He always tells me that I look like the Rock and Vin Diesel had a baby. (Do you prefer…/What are you)
I often touch their hair as I say, ‘I thought they stopped making Aquanet. I looks good though.’. Or if a woman has big curly locks or a short pixie cut, I always touch it and comment that I like their hair style. (Hair)
I don’t usually find blonde women attractive and I’ve let it be known my entire life. But theire are some who are very striking and I always comment, ‘I think blonde girls are kind-of ugly. They look too washed out. But YOU have a really exotic look. What are you? Icelandic?’ Whatever they reply, I just say, ‘ Whatever, you look nice’. (Pretty for a white girl)
‘Bish, you’re from (where ever). That’s like trying to be a snob while flying Southwest’, ‘Bish, Whatever you’re going to attempt to brag about you have to understand that I’ve either done it twice or I’ve done it better.’ ‘Okay, yeah. Nice to meet you. Call (so-and-so) to get my number.’ I’m sometimes dismissive and I think it can come across as racist at times.
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I hear white people talk to black people this way sometimes, and I cringe. Mostly, it’s whites who had little to no exposure with black culture growing up. But when you look beyond the poor choice of words, it is often a genuine attempt to bridge a race gap and be friendly. The negative consequences are usually unintentional. A black person has two choices when faced with statements like the ones on this list. They can become offended, and ridicule an entire group of people they don’t know in a wordpress blog. OR, they can be mature about it, and take the opportunity to educate the other person and do something positive with their efforts. I mean, how much did the effort to create this list go towards repairing race relations with anyone?
On the other hand, I guess if your mind is already made up about who ALL white people are, logic won’t change anything.
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” on Tue 22 Dec 2015 at 01:46:08
King
“Abagond, how come all your pictures of ‘blacks” are so ‘light”?”
Seriously?
ebony is beauty quotes | What I like in black women
Abagondfrom Abagond
—————————————————————————————————-ebony is beauty quotes | What I like in black women12984Yashica JosephYashica Josephblack beauty
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Check out this post and show me one kid who’s not light? So, yeah seriously.
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@ Kiwi – Heck no. His wife don’t play that ish. She was the first Asian he ever dated. She (they) grew up around Blacks, whites, Mexicans, Asians,…. . Their son is influenced by the many races and cultures around him but he (his son) sees himself more as a jock/hip hop fan/cool guy than he does simply Asian. His son isn’t scared of people from other races – he knows too many of them.
As anyone from Southern California on this page can tell you – in California everything is available. One can snowboard My Baldy or My High in the morning, each lunch in the desert, surf in or around Newport and and then go to dinner in the city in LA..
While there ARE enclaves in which certain races/cultures are the majority, many suburban areas are so mixed that no one race dominates. Of the least segregated cities in America, the top ten are in the West and seven are in California.
If you look good, have enough money and are good in enough things – race may become less important than what one has to offer.
As I said in another post – my Asian male friends are married to those from other races (except one) and all of them are just cool dudes.
We have to know someone really well before we can tease someone about stereotypes – which we do, OFTEN.
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lmao Abagond!
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Reblogged this on League of Bloggers For a Better World and commented:
haha!
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@ MiKe – Yeah, it’s funny sometimes. Even in professional situations I have white guys giving me daps and a hug and trying to speak in pseudo-ebonics.
I just reply, ‘A’ight gangsta’, Where you from – Compton? You watch too much TV.’.
Being so close to Louisiana everyone assumes that I am Creole but my media accent (SAE) throws them off a bit.
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I told one White person that what she said was xenophobic. She hasn’t spoken to me since.
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@ MiKe
“A black person has two choices when faced with statements like the ones on this list. They can become offended, and ridicule an entire group of people they don’t know in a wordpress blog. OR, they can be mature about it, and take the opportunity to educate the other person and do something positive with their efforts.”
Why isn’t the question, when are white people going to start educating themselves instead of expecting random black strangers to do it?
That’s why I read this blog, so I can educate myself on what not to do and what not to say, so that out there in the real world when a black person is having a lovely evening, I don’t sour it for them by grabbing their hair and then getting all offended when they “take the opportunity” to educate me about why that isn’t appropriate.
You need to take some PERSONAL RESPONSIBLITY for your OWN EDUCATION.
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What is “White women’s tears”? Why not “White tears”?
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[…] Sourced through Scoop.it from: abagond.wordpress.com […]
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@ Glenn
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@ gro jo
When I made this post, I did not have my brown paper bag with me.
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@ mIkE
That is because I am an Emotional Negro Thinker:
By the way, where did I say “ALL” or even “all” White people?
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” on Tue 22 Dec 2015 at 09:32:09
abagond
@ gro jo
When I made this post, I did not have my brown paper bag with me.”
I hear you, it’s getting harder to find good brown paper bags these days.
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I loled at “totally rad”, but I believe it’s actually making a comeback in certain circles. As in, I know people who honestly use “rad” so it might not be the best example of outdated slang?
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yep the c word is right up there (say it like you’re from georgia), it’s a good place to start too, because it seems like the more you get closer to a black person, the odds will go down of them making a racial faux pas like assuming it’s cool to use a slur unlike the obverse
from observation over time
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the wife will trot out the morals and standards oldie but goodie
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Thanks for this post. My first time through, I read it as satire that helps illustrate how White people behave offensively towards Black people. HOWEVER, the fact I chuckled at some of them also got me thinking more seriously about the list and a couple of things in particular jumped out at me.
Things get different if you think about overtly racist White people, White people that consider themselves not racist or colorblind and racially aware allies or whatever.
From what I’ve seen, the overtly racist crowd would see many of these as intentional attempts at fighting racist attitudes, or in the case of the racial slurs, would see them as attempts at inverse-racism. The thing is, they’d be interpreting the entire exchange as if you’re lashing out from a place of inferiority and therefore it would actually empower them.
The colorblind Whites would likely see 90% of these as nothing more than socially awkward and might even find the racial slurs endearing (such as John’s friend YT). That’s the group that gets upset over “Black Lives Matter”, “Racist”, and not so much “Slavery/Genocide” because those are “their ancestor’s problems” but more so the modern “Mass Incarceration” and “Police Brutality”. You could add to that “Affirmative Action” and “Welfare” because, while claiming to be colorblind, they see the beneficiaries of those as being Blacks at the expense of Whites and that offends their colorblind sensibilities.
Then you have those that fancy themselves as part of the “social justice” movement. They’re awkward for sure and more racially biased than they care to admit. They’re privileged enough that, just like the colorblind crowd, they’d laugh off 90% of the list. But, they’re the ones that see or hear “White people” and interpret it as “ALL White people”. Their “unracist” self-identity doesn’t come through apathy or lack of overt racism. They genuinely work at it. They have severed family and friend relationships over it. So, that group get’s hypersensitive about “The ‘R’ Word” and anything referring to “All Whites”. Believe me, I get the irony of feeling belittled because of being lumped in with everyone else based on skin color alone.
I literally LOL’d at this because pointing out race does make (some, not necessarily all) White people uncomfortable. I also like adding “s/he was White” to stories about people when told to certain Whites. I do that because I hear other races thrown in as if it was relevant to the story all to often. It can be important if the story is actually about a situation dealing with race or if a more detailed visual is required, but in most cases it’s as irrelevant to the story as the color of the car they were driving. Could you imagine? “I parked next to this truck yesterday (it was, you know, beige) and they door dinged me.” You gotta whisper the ‘beige’ too like it might offend somebody.
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@Abagond this is brilliant!! LOL
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@LOM
Google result:
– No results found for “Can you show me your Confederate flag?”
– No results found for “You must be a fan of General Lee, right?”
Nope, it’s not even a thing. I’ve never heard a person say it and you were the first person I’ve ever seen write it. In a few hours, you’ll be indexed in Google as the only person on record to have written and also been offended by those phrases. (I’m sincerely sorry if my re-posting of them has offended you. I just didn’t want you thinking people were actually going around saying those awful things behind your back.)
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@ Open Minded Observer
Apparently, in LOM’s little bubble, he is the lone spoke-person for Northerners!
” In a few hours, you’ll be indexed in Google as the only person on record to have written and also been offended by those phrases. (I’m sincerely sorry if my re-posting of them has offended you. I just didn’t want you thinking people were actually going around saying those awful things behind your back.)”
.
Too funny! lol
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What, Robert De Niro died? Kiwi, why do you resist my attempt to teach you not to go overboard with such broad generalizations?
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@ Lord of Mirkwood
If anything, this post is more about White Northerners than White Southerners since I live in the northern US.
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Technically, anything that dilutes the white race is a good thing.
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@ Kiwi
Who cares how many more Black women there are in comparison to Asian ones?
Have you ever heard of the concept of personal autonomy? Let each man or woman choose whom he/she should date. The sole authority on such choices is the individual concerned.
I feel for you because you can’t compete with the Whites for the affection of Chinese-American women. Have you ever given a thought to going directly to the source?
I was acquainted with a fairly homely, in my opinion, Chinese guy. He showed me a picture of his wife, the girl was stunning! He bagged that babe through an arranged marriage.
He went to China, claimed his bride and seemed happy. The girl came to America and enjoyed an instant economic uplift, so I guess she wasn’t complaining. Following my advice seems more productive than whining.
“As for making generalizations, you said “all” of Abagond’s pictures of Blacks are light and King thoroughly disproved that, proving that you are a hypocrite.”
Touché, I would say it takes a hypocrite to know one. So, we’re brothers under the skin eh? Note to Sharinalr: See how I admit it when an opponent scores a direct hit, none of that childish rubbish pretending otherwise for me.
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OFF TOPIC: Asian women, unless it can be tied directly to the post..
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@ Lord of Mirkwood
Let me explain something to you.
I grew up in a midwest state that was part of the Union, hence the North. In fact, this state produced one of your great Northern White Civil War heroes whose name you like to bandy around.
I lost my Southern accent when I was five. No one can tell from my speech or my appearance that I do not identify as a Yankee.
That means all my life I have heard white Northerners say horribly racist things about African Americans. I have seen white Northerners engage in all sorts of institiutionalized racism to keep African Americans out of their neighborhoods, their place of work, their kids’ schools.
Then I have heard those same white Northerners say that only Southerners are racist. I have heard them say they themselves cannot be racist because they are from the North.
I have “passed” as a Yankee all my life, and I have seen your dirty underside.
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@Gro jo
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Kiwi, I join you in your protest against Abagond’s censorship. I would have loved to read you on my “racist drivel”. Say, as a guy who’s offended by Whites not dating enough Black women, why don’t you tell us about why you haven’t jumped into the breach?
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Darling Sharinalr, you totally get me. Are we on for another of round?
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OFF TOPIC: women and dating and sex, unless directly related to the post.
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@Gro Jo
Round of what? Watching you try to manipulate yourself out of a situation after being proven wrong? Nah. Too boring. Same song and dance and same salty you, tying to derail a thread just to get my attention. smh
LOM is more interesting.
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“On the thread prior you assumed all with kiwi then and still refuse to admit to being wrong.”
Still smarting from that correction I see. My dear, when somebody writes Asians or Whites, the norm is to assume they mean all Asians and all White. Prove otherwise if you disagree.
The previous post should have read: “Darling Sharinalr, you totally get me. Are we on for another round?”
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@LOM
I am curious on why you believe only the south and conservatives are racist? We’re you raised to believe that because much of your anti-south anti-conservative attitude seems almost brainwashed.
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@ Kiwi
I deleted your comment for being off topic.
Please take it to the Open Thread or the appropriate post.
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@ sharinalr
“LOM is more interesting.”
Oooh, that’s gotta sting!
@ Lord of Mirkwood
Tell me again how you aren’t really white.
So very, very white.
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@Gro jo
“the norm is to assume they mean all Asians and all White.”—Sure that is the norm for people who lack common sense. Prime example I used on another thread is if I say white people have blue eye. All white people don’t. But as the old saying goes……When you assume you make as a*** out of U and Me. You have been on point with that.
At any rate, I am sure Kiwi and many others could make a list of your wrongs you refuse to acknowledge, but watching you wallow in your delusions is more fun. 😉
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@ Lord of Mirkwood
How about you answer sharinalr’s question?
Instead of running off to suck your thumb in the Irish Americans thread like you always do when you’re butthurt.
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@ Lord of Mirkwood
“Are you rearing for the ad hominem?”
Not at all. As a white person, I’m interested in why you deny and refuse to identify with your own people.
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This is pretty funny.
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” on Tue 22 Dec 2015 at 22:57:33
sharinalr
@Gro jo
“the norm is to assume they mean all Asians and all White.”—Sure that is the norm for people who lack common sense. Prime example I used on another thread is if I say white people have blue eye. All white people don’t. But as the old saying goes……When you assume you make as a*** out of U and Me. You have been on point with that.”
You deliciously ignorant creature you, Whites aren’t the only race with blue eyes! http://afritorial.com/black-people-with-blue-eyes/. Enjoy and have a happy holiday.
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@ Lord of Mirkwood
So you *are* white, then?
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@ Kiwi – He should learn to fight. Being spat upon? Dude, while there is no need to be a thug – one should never be a bish. Fear of reprisal keeps a lot of people quiet.
@ OMO – You know, YT is pretty colorblind. He’d dated a couple of Black girls growing up. He does seem dismissive of the topics you listed because he’s seen so many examples of Blacks seemingly unaffected by them. He works for the DOJ and I’ll have to ask him whether he thinks his upbringing clouds or clarifies his judgement when it comes to the way he handles cases.
As to the overtly racist whites.. As I wrote, my boy Thor is as racist as anyone I’ve met. It’s funny when I have his crew around my boy Rob and his NOI crew. (Actually, over the years Black Ass Rob and Thor have hung out together on their own while each has retained his own racist views.)
I think that’s why someone like (he whose name cannot be mentioned) is funny to me. (hwncbm) admitted on another blog that he/she(?) was often bullied. I think (hwncbm) sees himself as a victim and that minorities are the cause of his lack of societal success.
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@Gro Jo
“You deliciously ignorant creature you, Whites aren’t the only race with blue eyes! “—-Nor did I say they were, but congrats. You managed to not only display how you don’t admit to being wrong when you are, but how well you are willing to manipulate your way out of it. ROFL.
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@LOM
That picture alone is not a rational reason to deny racism in the North. So I ask again, where does this irrational idea of only southerners and conservatives are racist come from?
When you fill out government census or other documents do you tick white or other? I am curious on how far you go with this facade of not being white.
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@ LoM – Yeah pretty much. This post seems to point out what you continuously seem to demonstrate.
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@ Lord of Mirkwood
“Did I say that?”
No, you’re dancing around it to avoid getting caught.
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“Nor did I say they were, but congrats. You managed to not only display how you don’t admit to being wrong when you are, but how well you are willing to manipulate your way out of it. ROFL.”
Your imprecision has nothing to do with me. To avoid confusion you should say that blue eyes is more common among whites than white have blue eyes.
What. your not going to wish me a happy holiday as well?
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“It’s quite pathetic to see, really, when you realize that in none of those instances was he interested in having a conversation but just wanted to pick a fight, like michaeljonbarker pointed out.”
What’s so terrible about that? I’ve grown fond of your and Sharinalr’s tortured arguments. If you don’t want me commenting on what you write, just stop making silly claims. So when are you going back to China to claim that life companion you want, need and deserve? Happy holiday to you.
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Mirkwood is a special kind of white.
As an Irish Catholic who is “radically left wing” he sees his oppression as the same as non whites and has spent considerable time attempting to prove that he is in fact oppressed by selectively viewing American history and pointing to the 1%, Republicans, conservatives, Southerners and protastants.
He thinks hunters are evil and values lions over Black people. Black people that are rich don’t qualify for reparations and need to be taxed more. Reparations, quotas should be based on class not race.
He does believe in the political system and thinks Sanders will eliminate racism through wealth redistribution.
He consumes politically correct cuisine as his personal contribution towards saving the planet.
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@ Lord of Mirkwood
“The South was full of pro-British reactionaries. When the British could not win the war in the North, they took it South, and got mounds of popular support.”
Wait, what?
How many Southerners died fighting the British in the Revolution and the War of 1812? And now you spit on their memory?
How many Virginians signed the Declaration? Worked on the Articles and the Constitution?
Where do you even *get* this level of revisionist history?
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gro jo
“To avoid confusion you should say that blue eyes is more common among whites than white have blue eyes.”—-Why? You seem to be the only one that stays confused on here. A problem of YOURS that is not mine.
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@LOM
So no answer to my questions then?
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@ Lord of Mirkwood
Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, et al. committed treason against their King.
In parts of eastern Canada, George Washington is still referred to as “rebel scum.”
Just as Robert E. Lee had been a US soldier for most of his career, so had George Washington been a soldier in the King’s army.
You decry treason in one set of slaveholders but applaud it in another set of slaveholders.
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@ sharinalr
You didn’t like his pretty picture and that made him sad.
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@ John
“As I wrote, my boy Thor is as racist as anyone I’ve met.”
He’s real?
…. I read that whole post as satire
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Solitaire
“You didn’t like his pretty picture and that made him sad.”—-ROFL.
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@ Lord of Mirkwood
“there can’t possibly be any difference between the North and the South, can there? They’re just all the same, right?”
Exactly the same. They’re both full of racist white people living on land acquired through genocide.
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Solitaire and Kiwi
Oh No!!! You must not speak of these truths. I fear LOM can not handle them.
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@ Kiwi
Yep. And slavery was also legal and practiced in the North for a very long time. Cities like Boston were built by black slave labor and with money made in the African slave trade.
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@ sharinalr
“I fear LOM can not handle them.”
I’m not too worried. Denial is his mutant power. He has, like, Professor X levels of denial.
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Here’s one: the new Star Wars movie is white feminism at its most embarrassing and blatant. Finn = incompetent. Rey = amazing at everything.
Just to remind PoC that they will never be on equal footing.
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I’m going to pass on Stat Wars. I see it as empire worshipping Sci Fi that celebrates weapons of mass distruction because you know white people are mostly good a thousand years from now.
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No bro. They’re mostly good eons ago and in distant galaxies, too. Every manner of alien imaginable but humans are somehow 99% white.
TFA breaks new ground: white women can also have black comic relief.
I’m calling it right now…that’s all he will ever be in this series.
I hope some prominent PoC with a platform calls BS on the feminist love affair with this movie.
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@ Cynic
Are Finn and Rey love interests do you think?
Could the audience handle it if they were?
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@ Solitaire – Unh-uh…. The guy’s real name is Todd. He held me down when I had to roll through an almost-sundown town on occasion. I have no idea how we became friends – he hated me when he first met me. He slapped the ish out of his cousin for calling me ‘ninja’ once (apparently that was all that was needed as no one from his crew even thought about doing so afterwards). I think he wanted to fight me on more than one occasion (his girlfriends always had crushes on me) but he always thought better of it.
One of my little brothers hesitated when he first came to one of my poker night parties. My brother was/is a Blood and I had too many cops, Crips, other Bloods, AB, Hispanic, Asian, citizens and whatever.. gang associates just chillin’. Everyone knew who everyone else was but they all understood that no personal business was allowed at my house.
I just ended up knowing and getting along with lots of people.
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https://history.state.gov/milestones/1861-1865/blockade
Sorry abagond but i got a 4 on us history ap and modern euro history lom is making stuff up
“Following the U.S. announcement of its intention to establish an official blockade of Confederate ports, foreign governments began to recognize the Confederacy as a belligerent in the Civil War. Great Britain granted belligerent status on May 13, 1861, Spain on June 17, and Brazil on August 1”
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OFF TOPIC: The American Civil War, unless directly related to the post.
Please take it to the Open Thread.
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@LOM
The North didn’t get a cut of the Cotton Profits from the South. This simple economics is what led to Civil War and nothing more. That’s what it all came down to.
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@ John
“I just ended up knowing and getting along with lots of people.”
Nothing wrong with that!
If you don’t mind my asking (if you do, no need to answer):
In that post when you were talking about how you touch white girls’ hair and ask white people what they are and give grief to blondes–I thought all that stuff was satire, going along with the tack of Abagond’s post.
So if you really do all that, this is my question: Are you consciously doing it on purpose to turn the tables?
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@abagond so if ‘where are you from’ and ‘what are you’ are not pc, how do you suggest to break the ice on ethnicity
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@ John
Also wanted to say, dude, if you can make friends with ABs, you are one formidable integrationist.
They scare the sh!t out of me. And I know you aren’t converting them, but you’re still doing some good, chipping away at some of their intolerance to the degree that they come to your house sociable-like.
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@ abagond
Taking it to the Open Thread
@ Lord of Mirkwood
C’mon, Yankee boy, since you want to fight Manassas all over again.
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Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
From:”Abagond” Date:Mon, Dec 21, 2015 at 16:35 Subject:[New post] Stuff You Probably Shouldn’t Say to White People
abagond posted: ” Some stuff you probably should not say to White Americans: “racist” – never ever tell White people that they are racist or anything close to it. It can lead to something far worse than racism: hurt White feelings, like White women’s tears. It will “
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@ Solitaire – I don’t just walk up to random women – most of the time I’ve just been introduced to them in a social setting or we’ve seen each other around. I don’t think I tease the ones I find unattractive (that would be mean) but I’m still polite and gracious.
I HATE weaves and wigs so I like a nice haircut. Even many Black women let me touch their hair. (Until I moved here, I didn’t even know it was a thing.) Most of the (Black) women I’ve dated have had short hair because I’m used to an active lifestyle. In the club business one is ALWAYS at work or ‘on’. The schmooze is expected. (But I’m still dismissive if someone is rude.)
As far as ABs go – I’m not trying to make friends, initially I couldn’t care any less. If you’re cool with someone, you’re cool with someone – if not, effum.
I have a few friends from a sundown town a few miles away. They always invite me to go fishing, hunting, drinking,… I always say, ‘(Heck) no, I saw ‘Deliverance’.’. Really I’m just too busy. One of their friends thinks of me as an ‘Uppity Ninja’ – which cracks me up.
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dude, what’s wrong with the woods and the river?
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@ V8 – (Cue Banjo…)
Nothing really. I’m just teasing them about being inbred.
I’ve gone only a couple of times but usually I’m too busy.
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lol
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Its so quiet sometimes… and the stars
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Concisely nailed.
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Drat, my markup skills atrophied.
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@ Bud Dhuu
I fixed it. Use angle brackets instead of square brackets.
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@v8driver
When you meet a generic white person, do you normally first inquire about their ethnic background or their national origin? Is that how you break the ice with them?
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Thanks, abagond. I remember now! SMH.
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Good question, that’s kind of awkward now that you mention it… i’d say it varies, and certainly should generally never be the leadoff, i mean i guess even an accent could throw it off… hmmm got me there but ‘where are you from’ would be a fallback position? Sometimes that has implications without the ‘really’ even…
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originally i’m from… but i live in … now that’s how i usually do it
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throw in exit 9 for extra credit
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OR, they can be mature about it, and take the opportunity to educate the other person and do something positive with their efforts.
You’re wrong. A Black person doesn’t have to do squat as far as ‘educating’ whites.
I mean, how much did the effort to create this list go towards repairing race relations with anyone?
This post is not meant to ‘repair’ race relations. It’s a commentary on race relations. Is there a problem comprehending?
My addition to the list:
Ask if they are the products of inbreeding. For example; Are their parents brother and sister? This really gets them going. I would suggest a good lawyer on retainer and bail money just in case their reaction may be such that you may have to defend yourself.
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@v8driver,
How do you imagine a white American who was born in and grew up in NJ would react to someone asking “Where are you from?” and after replying “nearby here in New Jersey” the person then follows up with “yeah, but where are you REALLY from?” or even more vague “yeah, but what are you?”
Would that white American think the other person asking is merely breaking the ice, trying to find out their ethnicity or does it seem a bit cuckoo?
If you wanted to find out the ethnic background of a white person, how would you ask?
What about if they answer that they are just American, or that they are not sure?
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@v8driver
I am not asking how you would answer, but how you would ask.
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Where are you from ?
(https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1188982031131680&id=100000596833677)
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@MJB,
I shared that video on Abagond’s blog a couple years ago. The purpose was to illustrate stuff white people probably shouldn’t say to others.
But this post is about stuff you probably shouldn’t say to white people. v8driver suggested that asking the questions to POC is a way to break the ice.
My question was how do you ask white people what kind of foreign peoples they originate from without offending them or having them think you are cuckoo. How do you use enquiry of ethnicity or national origin as a way to break the ice with whites?
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*By the way, where did I say “ALL” or even “all” White people?*
When you did not use the adjective “some” or perhaps “most” or anything else that would have denoted other than “ALL”. What stands out most to me is that this post (I can’t believe I read the whole thing) is simply written to insult White people. Leaving out certain descriptions, making ridiculous questions (who the fuck would ever walk up to anyone else and ask to touch their hair – do you actually think Whites do this to strangers of any color?) etc etc. Congrats, you set race relations back a few decades…..
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@ jetticus54
“who the fuck would ever walk up to anyone else and ask to touch their hair – do you actually think Whites do this to strangers of any color?”
You’re right — most white people don’t bother to ask before they touch.
Just because you’ve never heard of this or seen it happen doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen all the f-cking time.
It seems to happen most often to African Americans but also to people of other races on occasion.
White people rarely do this to other whites. In my adult life, only one white stranger has touched and played with my hair without my permission, and she was mentally disabled.
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grojo are you a man?
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“Stuff you probably shouldn’t say?”
Nah. I’ll say it when I want, if I want.
And I’ll dare them to do something about it.
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