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My views on relationships between black women and white men

bria-myles-and-boyfriend

Bria Myles and boyfriend

I have written many posts about relationships between black women and white men in America. It used to be a big topic on this blog. Of all the different things I have written about, it was the first to catch fire and get over 300 comments. At one point it seemed like half my commenters were in such relationships. My views have changed over time, so there is some confusion about where I stand.

My current views: Here is my current thinking. If it is different than something I said in an earlier post, that just means my opinion has changed:

  1. There is nothing wrong with such relationships, but black women can go into them for the wrong reasons, like internalized racism. The Black Women’s Empowerment  movement (BWE), for example, presents white men as saving black women from black men. That is internalized racism straight-up, all the way.
  2. Black women do not secretly desire white men. Not any more than I secretly desire white women. Some of them might, of course, but probably not most of them. I do not remember ever saying otherwise. There is nothing to support the idea of a common secret desire other than a white racist worldview or black male insecurity. Other than the BWE sorts, I do not hear black women going on and on about how wonderful white men are. Not even close. Even those who are in such relationships seem more defensive than anything else.
  3. Why there are not many black women with white men in America:  because most black women do not want to be with white men. It is women who do the choosing, especially when it comes to race and particularly since most men are dogs. Further, as shown in studies on Chinese American women, most women marry men like those they grew up among. Most black women grow up in black neighbourhoods, so based just on that alone you would expect most black women to be with black men.
  4. Racialized beauty standards. I have written about this at length. Not just because American beauty standards are at odds with my own, but because it is a part of White American racism, a big subject on this blog. But, yes, in writing about it, black women can come off seeming like they are in a meat market and found wanting, which is demeaning, I agree. I do talk about white men not seeming to want black women, but I do that not to put down black women, but rather to point out the racism of white men. Because black women are, first and foremost, women it seems strange to me for so many white men to seem like they feel no attraction for them – unless, of course, you assume they are looking at the world through a racist lens.

Thanks (I think) to commenter Peanut for suggesting this post. 

See also:

2,149 Responses

  1. on Fri 7 Jun 2013 at 12:39:22 Vagabond Abscond

    What about white women with black men?

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  2. You got it wrong, abagond. Men do the choosing when it comes to relationships. Black women are still considered the bottom of the barrel in this society. Women are only as faithful as their options allow them. Most black women have no choice but to stick with black men. A lot of black women would like to date out but are not given the opportunity.

    Black men have the luxury of dating and marry whoever they want. Not so much with black women. Interracial dating between black men and women of other races is VERY common in my area. Lots of women that are not black seem to desire black men—the love is mutual. The same can’t be said for men of other races desiring black women.

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  3. Black men definitely have it easier in this society. Being a black woman in this society is the worst thing you could be. I see it everyday while I’m out: men and women of all races in relationships while the black women are left walking alone, in groups with other black females, or with their out of wedlock babies. Black American women are still the most single/lonely women in the world.

    Men choose women, not the other way around and unfortunately society greatly influences the perceived desirability of a woman. Black women are last and are often overlooked no matter how attractive, accomplished, kind, etc. because they are still black and that’s all many people can see.

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  4. OK:

    I take it you are talking from a U.S perspective. If you venture outside of America, then you will see many examples to the contrary.

    From what I have seen on this blog, there seems to be something really negative ingrained in American society towards Black women but I can assure you that the ROtW does NOT follow suit.

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  5. OK:

    Men choose women, not the other way around and unfortunately society greatly influences the perceived desirability of a woman

    I disagree strongly here – it is not so cut and dried. Whilst men might be more proactive in making the first move, there has to be mutual interest or else you will rarely proceed past the preliminaries.

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  6. on Fri 7 Jun 2013 at 15:04:15 Vagabond Abscond

    @ Abagond Thanks. Have your ideas changed on BM w/ WW since that post? Do you think there is anything wrong with those relationships?

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  7. Omnipresent, definitely.

    Also, I’d say black men and white women have more opportunity for initiating romantic interactions. White women feel less threatened coming into black spaces.

    White guys are afraid of black guys and typically anywhere there are black women there will be black men.

    When I was in college, at any party thrown by black people there would be a significant presence of white girls.

    Most interactions between black women and white men occur in white spaces, in the workplace or in the classroom, where interaction is largely controlled and romantic interaction is discouraged.

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  8. Omnipresent, I see what you’re saying but I stand by what I said: men choose. If a woman receives little interest from men—i’m talking real relationships, not just sex—then she has few options/choices. A man must pursue (choose) the woman first. Then, she either accepts or rejects but the women must first be given the opportunity (chosen) to do this.

    I’ve read that black women are desired more by men of all races in other parts of the world. I was very surprised to read about Chinese men MARRYING black women in Africa and Jamaica.

    I think, in America at least, it is easy for a black woman to find a man to simply have sex but extremely difficult to find a man willing to have a serious relationship and marry. White woman as we all know aren’t perfect virgins, but they are considered desirable in this society; therefore, they have no problem finding a man that’s willing to settle down and marry them. I’ve seen white trash easily get married while the “thin, attractive, kind, intelligent” black woman still struggled to get chosen by a man because she’s BLACK and that’s all people can see.

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  9. Thank you for this post abagond.

    I get tired of the whole thing and I get tired of being put on the auction block. Most Black women prefer Black men period, but it’s offensive to portray Black women as desperate for white men, as if we’re running after them to begin with…and it’s offensive to be portrayed as so ugly that no one would want us, including Black men and that’s the reason we’re so loyal to Black men…that is SO OFFENSIVE and hurtful.

    The reality is MOST Black women prefer Black men, MOST of us. The BWE black women are a minority, in fact I have NEVER met a Black woman OFFLINE who prefers white men. Have I met Black women who are “open,” to white men yes, but I have NEVER met one Black woman who ONLY dates white men or thinks they’re BETTER partners than Black men offline…NEVER.

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  10. @ OK,

    As a Black woman who has been approached by white men before and turned them down, I find your comment very misleading.

    I have had white men approach me and I have said no because in those instances, I just wasn’t interested in those particular guys. I’ve had sexual interest from white men expressed at me and I’ve said no. I mean if i accepted every sexual offer I’ve had from a white man, I would have had multiple sex partners by now and I don’t do that… People think that Black women are lying when we say that we turn white men down, we’re really not..cuz I’ve done that myself and I consider myself to be average looking, although I have had men, (both white and black men, just so you know) tell me that I’m “cute,” but I consider myself to be average. I’ve seen an entire group of white men straight up approach a Black woman and she said no.

    Am I saying that most white men are out there “drooling,” over Black women…no I’m not…am I saying that most white men prefer Black women over white women…no I am not.

    I think most white men prefer most white women, just like most Black women prefer Black men…BUT, y’all make it seem like it’s completely unrealistic or impossible that a white man would approach a Black woman and I’m telling you it happens more often than you (as a Black man) realize and here is why:

    As a female, it’s much easier to get sex from a man of any race, than it is for a man to get sex from a woman. I do not imagine that it would be difficult, if more Black women wanted, to have sexual experience and even have children with white men. As long as you’re half-way decent looking, you can get sex from a man, that’s the easiest part.

    So, IF some Black men are feeling proud about their sexual conquests with women of other races…they need not be too proud because Black women could get sex much easier from non-black men just for being female if we wanted. That goes for men in general too. So, let’s get that out of the way right there.

    Now, if you’re talking about marriage, I would say that most white men prefer white women for marriage, just as most Black women prefer Black men for marriage and most people in general prefer their own race for “serious relationships.”

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  11. Part 2:

    HOWEVER, if MORE Black women WANTED to marry white men or have serious relationship with white men, we would be at an advantage and here is why.

    White men are a much larger group than Black women. If the majority of Black women wanted to be in long term relationships with white men (most do not) then it would only take a small fraction of white men to meet the demands of the Black women who wanted them. Meaning you could have 50% of Black women marrying or in LTR with white men and there would be MORE THAN ENOUGH white men to fill that need.

    IF BLACK WOMEN WANTED THAT.

    So, numerically if we wanted, we would be at an advantage in that sense because most white men don’t need to marry Black women for Black women to have more than enough white male partners…

    But, again most Black women do not desire white men for LTR and do not even socialize with white men in general…and I’m not saying white men are out there running after Black women like crazy, so don’t get it twisted…but the opportunity is definitely there just from being a female and I think some Black men and people in general “over-do it, “when they talk about Black women having NO OPTIONS with non-Black men.

    We do have options, we just prefer Black men.

    Are we at a disadvantage because of beauty standards and racism?? Absolutely I will be the first to agree with that…outwardly Black women are the least desired AS A collective GROUP. We have to deal with racism etc…and that’s a tough hurdle to get over as it pertains to romantic relationships, but still, even with the racism/beauty standards, even with the mistreatment that many Black women experience from white men, many of us still get approached…now I’ll say it may be more in sexual way than a romantic way, but it’s out there.

    just saying.

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  12. Solesearch said:

    “Also, I’d say black men and white women have more opportunity for initiating romantic interactions. White women feel less threatened coming into black spaces.

    White guys are afraid of black guys and typically anywhere there are black women there will be black men.”

    I’ve noticed this, too. Could it be that white women are less racist than white men? Women are less racist than men and care less about what other people think of their partners than men in general?? I’ve seen white women move to the ghetto to be with their black spouses. I’ve never seen a white man do this. Like I said, the attraction is mutual.

    Black men have an easier time dating/marrying interracially because women of other races desire them also. I think the lack of opportunity for white men and black women to form romantic relationships is an excuse. If a man is really interested in a woman he will find a way to be with her. I often see black men pursue women of other races aggressively. They will purposely skip over black women just to get to a non white woman. They make it known that they like and prefer that nonblack woman. I know black men that live in predominantly black areas and still end up with nonblack women. Black men have lots of negative stereotypes too but it doesn’t stop nonblack women from liking them. The attraction is mutual.

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  13. and I don’t know if you’re a Black man or Black woman OK…you could be a Black woman, I don’t know.

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  14. Solesearch said,

    “Also, I’d say black men and white women have more opportunity for initiating romantic interactions. White women feel less threatened coming into black spaces. …Most interactions between black women and white men occur in white spaces, in the workplace or in the classroom, where interaction is largely controlled and romantic interaction is discouraged.”

    now this comment I will agree with. I think a lot of white men are afraid/insecure about black men too. I also think there is a sexual rivalry going on there.

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  15. solesearch:

    White women feel less threatened coming into black spaces.

    I mostly agree but I bet that this is not a common perception. I have only browsed past posts on this blog and it is full of white men and the occassional (if it is to be believed) white women who seem to say that they dont feel ‘safe’ going into predominantly black environments. However, one of the answers must be what you assert above. I certainly notice it here in the U.K perhaps ‘desire’ overrides everything else in this instance.

    OK:

    Where I live there are many IR relationships, and this is what is classed as a pretty rural town though not too far from the capital. I am not saying that everyone is open to the same things where I live but, it sounds like it is far more likely/frequent/common an occurrence than in the U.S.

    Both:

    Of the couples I know in relationships of this kind, they met in more ‘social’ settings such as school or clubbing or through mutual friends. It sounds like there is a slight class/social issue that comes to across when you guys talk about black women meeting white men for instance.

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  16. Most black women prefer black men but I don’t think black men feel the same. I think black men in general are open to all races of women and don’t strictly prefer black women. Many black men perfer any woman that’s not black, too.

    Interracial relationships between black men and other women are common. The statistics tend to only count marriages but I bet if nonmarriage relationships were counted too the numbers would be HIGH—-I’m willing to bet almost 50% of black men are/have been in/have children from interracial relationships.

    I think black women’s strong preference for black men is due to lack of options. If black women had as many options as black men the preference for black men wouldn’t be as strong.

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  17. Ok said,

    “I think, in America at least, it is easy for a black woman to find a man to simply have sex but extremely difficult to find a man willing to have a serious relationship and marry. White woman as we all know aren’t perfect virgins, but they are considered desirable in this society; therefore, they have no problem finding a man that’s willing to settle down and marry them.”

    now this comment I will definitely agree with. We definitely have a harder time in the LTR market. From that perspective, there are a lot more hurdles to overcome and there is a lot of brainwashing that sabotages Black women in terms of marriage with both Black and non-black men, but like I said, numbers are on our side if we wanted marriage with non-black men.

    But, the way people talk on here, they make it seem like there is absolutely zero SEXUAL attraction from white/non-black men and I think that is so far from the truth. In saying that there is no sexual attraction, it’s almost like people are saying we’re the ugliest women because any woman can get sexual interest from a man, I don’t think Black women are THAT different in that sense.

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  18. Perhaps, white women feel more comfortable going to predominantly black environments than white men because they feel as if black men will protect them? White men on the other hand are men and may feel as if they can’t hold their own in an all black environment??? I’m just speculating. I’ve noticed that white men seem to be more uncomfortable in all black environments, too.

    I think black men’s stereotype of being aggressive works in their favor when it comes to attracting other races of women.

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  19. @ Ok.

    “I think black women’s strong preference for black men is due to lack of options. If black women had as many options as black men the preference for black men wouldn’t be as strong.”

    I disagree. We prefer Black men regardless, just like everyone else prefer their race and honestly most Black men still date/marry Black women more than any one else. is there a lot of self-hatred and b.s. in the Black community… yes and does that lead some people to discriminate against their own yes…but still most black men are with black women.

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  20. I do think that Black women have extra hurdles in the dating market, no argument there, but I also think we have more options than people acknowledge too.

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  21. OK:

    I think black women’s strong preference for black men is due to lack of options. If black women had as many options as black men the preference for black men wouldn’t be as strong.

    I think you are going to p*ss people off if you keep making sweeping statements like this, particularly as it is not clear whether you are speaking from personal experience or just as an observer who does not come under either category.

    We have already established that this seems to be something that is prevalent mainly in the U.S. It would be less antagonistic in this instance to state this I think.

    That being said, when I refer to relationships, I am talking about ‘common law’ partners in addition to those who are married. I do think that there are probably more black men with white women, even just in Europe. What I will say is that the reverse of this is definately on the rise.

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  22. Mr. Abagond, the correct answer is: “Interracial relationships are nonsense that should be discouraged no matter what color the genders in question are. Miscegenation stinks.”

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  23. Just curious, who all else lives in an inner city all black neighborhood?

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  24. futurodellanazione:

    Mr. Abagond, the correct answer is: “Interracial relationships are nonsense that should be discouraged no matter what color the genders in question are. Miscegenation stinks.”

    No, in your specific case, the correct answer is ‘incest stinks’ it breeds ignorance and stupidity.

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  25. Interesting commentary thus far. Just adding a different perspective. From my experience growing up in a predominantly white suburbs, there was NO WAY I was going to marry a white man. Not living under my father’s household, lol. I mean my parents marriage was rocky at times- still married now 38yrs now. So for me, it was having a living example of what a marriage looked like. And not what was on the boob tube.:-)

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  26. Omnipresent, I’m talking about US experience. I’ve read that things are better for black women in othe parts of the world. I like reading others’ views.

    I think it’s easy for all women to find someone that simpy wants to have sex with them. What separates the romantically undesirable women from the desirable women is the ease of getting a man to be in a serious relationship/marriage with them. Unfortunately, society dictates a lot of women’s perceived desirably. Yes, black women can get sex and booty calls but to actually find a man that wants to “put a ring on it”, stick around and raise a family, and be monogamous will be extremely difficult because in American society black women are considered undesirable and simply aren’t worth it.

    I personally know white women that have had children out of wedlock and their men ended of marrying them. This didn’t happen to the black women that I know. A white (actually any woman that isn’t black) woman is considered more desirable in this society so she is free to make mistakes, sleep around a bit and many men would still want to be with her. Not the same for black women.

    A nonblack woman can be grossly overweight, frumpy, homely, etc. and still have men wanting to be with her. A black woman must stay fit, dress well, etc. and still won’t be perceived as desirable as a white women. People only see BLACK. I know some amazing black women that are struggling in the dating realm. Then, I see trashy white women that are doing all of the “wrong” things ( sleeping around, out of wedlock children, multiple divorces, lack class, obese) still easily get a man.

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  27. I think those black women interracial blogs give black women false hope and unrealistic expectations. I think black women should be taught to find a man, regardless of race, that treats her well and wants to be with her.

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  28. Ok, I wouldn’t say white women are less racist. Women are just less confrontational than men.White women are less fearful of being attacked by black women. And their gender shields them from being attacked by the “black male brute”.

    As for white women moving to the ghetto with their black male spouses, I’d have to say this is effect of white women meeting black men in black spaces. She probably was from a white ghetto herself.

    Black women who are marrying white men aren’t living in ghettoes to begin with.

    Black men have an easier time dating/marrying interracially because women of other races desire them also. I think the lack of opportunity for white men and black women to form romantic relationships is an excuse.

    Lack of opportunity isn’t an excuse. It’s a just another reason. It would only be an excuse if I didn’t mention white men’s racism as a cause of the lack of opportunity.

    If a man is really interested in a woman he will find a way to be with her.

    But I am talking about initiating interest between a man and a woman. Once a man becomes interested in a woman, he MAY disregard all perceived barriers in pursuit. It depends on the type of person he is.

    I often see black men pursue women of other races aggressively. They will purposely skip over black women just to get to a non white woman. They make it known that they like and prefer that nonblack woman.

    That is because of internalized racism, so you shouldn’t expect(nor want) white men to exhibit the same behavior.

    I know black men that live in predominantly black areas and still end up with nonblack women. Black men have lots of negative stereotypes too but it doesn’t stop nonblack women from liking them. The attraction is mutual.

    Again, a reason for that is because white women aren’t as afraid to be black spaces.

    Negative stereotypes stop a lot of white women from not liking black men. Like Peanut said, there are way more white people than black people. There only need be a small fraction of white women who like black men and aren’t afraid to pursue them in black spaces for that perception to spread.

    Only a small percentage of white women marry black men. They marry men of other races at higher rates.

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  29. Damn OK–you’re racist as hell towards Black women.

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  30. I think people have to remember that their “experiences” or “what they see” is not data nor does this limited view present an accurate picture of who marries who and why…

    According to the latest U.S, Census the overwhelming majority of Black men who marry do so with Black women. Less than a measly 9% of Black men in America have a wife who is not Black. Fact.

    But why don’t white people ever talk about why their divorce rate is over 50%…

    Why don’t they ever talk about the increase of white men going to lands like Thailand, Cambodia, and to lesser extents Brazil to purchase wives (if white women are so high on the desirability list)….

    It takes two consenting adults to decide if they should enter into a relationship–anything else would be force (e.g. sexual coercion, or rape)…

    I do not believe white women are any less threatened by Blacks than white men–at least the history of their behavior and even now does not support such a flawed, misguided assumption…

    I have had Black friend girls, and this has happened to me–be harassed on the job by white women–who in many cases are not even a supervisor or superior…

    I talked to Trojan Pam on her blog some days back and to answer this question of white women being the IDEAL mate of Black men–one has to wonder why white women are the group who are advancing rapidly in corporate America, while Black men are the group that is disappearing????

    The plain and simple of the matter is that America is an Anti-Black Female, Anti-Black Male, and Anti-Black Children society–any one using interracial sexual relations between Black people and white as a measurement of social progress need to run–not walk–to get their heads examined..

    In no way am i directing my comments to any particular person on this thread.

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  31. I do not believe white women are any less threatened by Blacks than white men–at least the history of their behavior and even now does not support such a flawed, misguided assumption…

    There larger presence in black spaces supports it.

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  32. *Their

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  33. No! Not Bria!! Noooooooooo!!!!! :(

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  34. There larger presence in black spaces supports it.

    But the constant mistreatment of Black people by white women does not…

    Did you know that the MOST likely person to sit on a jury is a white woman?

    So when Black men are accused of something– his “fate” tends to rest in her hands…

    Affirmative Action (in which MANY in this society falsely believes benefit Black people) is MOSTLY enjoyed by white women–yet they (white women) do not come to the defense of Black people when we are wrongfully accused of “getting over on the system”…

    Just because a few white women INVADE, INTRUDE or HANG out in Black clubs, organizations, or neighborhoods DOES not mean she loves Black folk or will admit to her benefiting from a system that mistreats the same Black folks she hangs with..

    Again let me make it crystal clear, I am in no way attacking anyone’s views here, so with that said you and i Solesearch will have to agree to disagree.

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  35. Hum. The only comment I would make is “does one really need to “have a position” on other people’s lives ?

    But at the same time “race” being a political topic with deep social impact I *guess* one can *express an opinion*.

    A “position” ? Not sure what exactly you mean by it.

    And like Omnipresent, I think this really a take from a US perspective which would make most people outside the US raise their eyebrows (but not roll their eyes).

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  36. Well you wouldn’t know it from my life experience that Black women are the least desirable. Me and my gal pals have always gotten attention where ever we go – from white guys, Asian guys, Black guys, whoever kinda guys. And not the catcalling or ick sort of attention, but that kind of attention you know exactly what I’m talking about.

    I’ve traveled to many places around the world, Africa, Europe, UK, Greece, France wherever and gotten the same kind of attention. In our safe spaces here on the net Black women have already discussed, shared and talked over what America would like to think is happening with Black women vs the actual reality. Most of us know what time it is, and ignore any who wish to perpetuate that kind of fantasy.

    As for BW/WM thing well whatever floats your boat. I believe that you must first know yourself before you can begin to share yourself. I’ve always had my pick as I mentioned, and I’ve had relationships with the rainbow. But if I was ever to choose a white guy to hitch up with: It wouldn’t be an American white male, that much I do know.

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  37. There is discrimination in the marriage market against Black women, we all know that. But, it’s not as bad as you’re making it seem. Like I said, MOST Black women prefer Black men and Black men overwhelmingly marry Black women, for those Black women who DO want to marry white men or non-black men, the numbers are in our favor and Black women do still have the option of marrying outside if she chooses. Yes, it’s true most non-black men do not prefer Black women because they prefer their own race (white, Asian or whatever race of women are their counterparts) but you are forgetting OKAY that is also VERY VERY hard for a white man who wants to date a Black woman to get one.

    White men who prefer Black women or like Black women have the numbers against them and then they had the added bondage of most Black women preferring Black men. I know of one white guy who prefers Black women and she said that he got turned down A LOT from Black women before finding his wife.

    So, it’s not Only that men don’t want Black women, a lot of Black women don’t want non-black men either. So YES we all know Black women face discrimination in the marriage market, but Black women often don’t desire to marry non-black men any way, even the ones who can. So it goes both ways.

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  38. I think white women are just as racist as white men. period, regardless of whether or not they’re in Black spaces…that doesn’t mean they’re not racist.

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  39. phoebeprunelle, you’re turning the conversation into something it is not. We are talking about specifically about interracial marriage.

    More white women feel more comfortable in black spaces than white men. That is what I’m talking about.

    I wish we could just agree to argue about the same thing.

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  40. please stop saying again and again that it’s men who don’t want Black women…and more Black women would date non-black men if they could. that is very offensive and portrays Black women as very desperate.

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  41. Question. why isn’t the devil settled on the best part of the planet Earth?

    Answer. Because the Earth belongs to the Original Man…….. et al

    As a citizen of the Nation of Gods and Earths I don’t advocate interracial relationships because it is an abomination against history and the natural order of things. But that’s my cee and the cee of my household. If folks want to get in bed with the oppressor more power to them, but I don’t want to hear about it when that snake bites you in the ass. Because when snakes are allowed to live they sting.

    Peace

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  42. @ solesearch,

    I was under the impression that we were discussing interracial relationships between bw/wm in general, including marriage and sex and casual relationships…the title says “interracial relationships between wm/bw,” not interracial marriage.

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  43. Projection is one hella of a drug lol. I am around all races of men I’m an air force brat so I see different races and cultures of people. I like black men and afro latino men. It’s not a matter of if I could or couldn’t get a white man I’ve never been attracted to them and don’t want to have kids with white men, I’m attracted to black men ,and women learn what a man is supposed to be like from the example their father and uncles set. I can honestly say my dad and uncle are great men, fathers, and husbands, so I see them and that is what I want a man to be. Black women do have options but I guess ppl want to make it like we don’t and that we’d jump ship at the first chance we get, smh projection much. Men and women are different its natural for men to want to be with different women and create a child with a beautiful woman regardless of race. For women its a little different, we are more picky when it comes to this because we are the ones who will be stuck with a child and have to deal with people’s ignorance if we have a biracial child. I would choose a black man over a white man anyday not because I can’t get a white man, but because black men are unique they have features that nobody else has, they are the original man why would I want a copy? They don’t need to tan, I love their deep dark eyes, their thick lips, their kinky hair,their strength, and most importantly their ambition, love, and personality. Sorry if I don’t fit into the box u trying to put me[colorstruck box] I genuinely love myself and since black men would be a mirror image to me I love black men.

    Brown skin, you know I love your brown skin
    I cant tell where yours begins, I cant tell where mine ends
    Brown skin, up against my brown skin
    Need some every now and then~ India arie

    *drops mic, lights fade out*

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  44. phoebeprunelle:

    Why don’t they ever talk about the increase of white men going to lands like Thailand, Cambodia, and to lesser extents Brazil to purchase wives (if white women are so high on the desirability list)….

    I agree that this mix of IR couples is fast becoming more common too.

    I have seen a couple of blogs on here suggest that when a black woman is with a white man, the man is usually ‘nerdy’ or ‘geeky’ and certainly not commonly attractive. I could be biased but this is not evident from what I have seen. These type of men, the ones that are described on this blog as often being coupled with black women are usually the type associated with being with East Asian women where the stigma is that they cant get a regular woman so they have to get a ‘mail order bride’. Also with this, there are a lot of really old men – those probably that might be seen to be ‘past their best’ with much younger seeming women from these countries. Very ‘generic’ observations that only skim the surface for sure but this is what I have witnessed in the U.K.

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  45. Awake BW, not trying to be funny but are you married? Did you recieve any proposals? I’ve never understood women that claim they attract and have dated a lot of men but still aren’t married.

    If a person is not married they’re single. A man that wants to marry a woman, spend the rest of his life with her, and stay around and raise his children is expressing one of the ultimate signs of love. With a simple boyfriend girlfriend relationship it’s easy to leave. There is no commitment.

    Marriage has so many benefits. This is where black women lose. Having a child out of wedlock is a very poor choice. Black women are often left alone doing everything (child rearing, work, etc.) by themselves.

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  46. having some context, it’s hard for me to come up with a ‘policy statement,’ although i’m getting over that type of motive…
    for me? part of it is admittedly the taboo, i don’t know how the girl thinks, probably she’s squirming inside going to white ‘pubs’ and whatnot, you know, once you get her out of town… the sideways looks and stuff, ah man, at my wedding dinner, my friend annie came all the way from los angeles to we were i think in ocean city maryland, and she was the only black person there, and her food was cold, it was mortifying, the waitress was like resentful, and my god we had like 30 people at the damn table so don’t tell me there was a rhyme or reason, so i’m not denying or minimizing anything here…
    there are so many opinions, maintain your circumspection people!
    i note (substantially) that class and the whole subculture is studious ignored here, that’s fine and all, but that, compared to posts like the career black woman who is never home, eh it’s water seeks water, there’s someone out there for everyone! dating sucks, period.

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  47. and ok, please be advised that is the most ignorant post i’ve read here in about 6 weeks

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  48. phoebeprunelle, you’re turning the conversation into something it is not. We are talking about specifically about interracial marriage.

    No i am not. And i assume that if Abagond deems my comments off-topic then he could just delete them…

    Yes i was addressing the issue that a few white women with Black men “couldn’t possibly be as racist as white” (as many here asserted)…all i did was give evidence that that is not the case…nor has it ever been,

    But then if you go back to my original second comment i gave the stats on who marries who..therefore people can plainly see that if Black men are overwhelmingly married to Black women, then Black women are overwhelming choosing them as well.

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  49. This question is for anyone that can answer, not just Awake BW (not trying to be rude or put you in the spotlight, really):

    “…. Did you recieve any proposals? I’ve never understood women that claim they attract and have dated a lot of men but still aren’t married.”

    How does a woman person date/attract so many people and still end up alone—-especially alone raising children? No one proposed? A woman that is desirable will recieve proposals and will never have to be alone raising children.

    I’m asking this because I hear a lot of black women claiming to attract so many men but they are still single.

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  50. well, @ OK,

    speaking for myself at this point in my life I have not really opened myself up for a serious relationship. I just got asked out by a guy at the place where I work part-time yesterday, he was Black, and I took his number, but I’m not calling him because I do not feel like I want to be in a relationships RIGHT NOW.

    More than anything, if I could, I would just have sex with men and not be in a LTR at this point, but because of my religious beliefs…I am TRYING to wait until marriage to have sex…but it’s hard to say the least.

    sometimes, it’s just not the right time…and the reason I brought up getting attention from men was because the people on this blog seem to think that Black women get NO attention, whether sexual or otherwise from men of other races and I was simply pointing out an obvious fact that…yes we do get attention both sexual and romantic

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  51. And to jump on my comments when OK’s comments are vile, Anti-Black woman and the likes is just beyond me..

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  52. and I said a dozen times that Black women have hurdles to overcome when it comes to the marriage market, we have to face discrimination, we have a bad history in this country, there are stereotypes and everything, I have never denied that.

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  53. and as I’ve said 100 times before, MOST Black women PREFER BLACK MEN, MOST BLACK WOMEN PREFER BLACK MEN, MOST BLACK WOMEN PREFER BLACK MEN, MOST BLACK WOMEN PREFER BLACK MEN…there is no secret desire to intermarry with white men in general…just as most white men prefer white women and most Black men prefer Black women and vice versa.

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  54. @mstoogood

    Love that song! Yep totally agree with your commentary.

    @phoebeprunelle- because you have great points to debate. An the Anti-Black woman spiel is so trite and so stereotypical it’s not much to debate.

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  55. @ mstoogdooall,

    “I like black men and afro latino men. ”

    I LOVE afro-latin men! So many in brazil. I’ve always wanted to have a bilingual child too…so the fact that many afro-latin men speak Spanish is a plus for me!

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  56. I’m a black woman that prefers white men and dated white men exclusively. I’ve been married over a decade to my husband, who is white. We’re not even the only WM/BW married couple in our circle of friends. It’s pretty common in our neck of the woods.

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  57. What about black women and Arab men? Does this same analysis apply? Do you consider that a BW + WM? I know that the definitions in this country have been all over the place but technically according to the census Arabs are considered white. Just curious

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  58. in this country arab men are considered to be men of color and also there are black arab men or afro-arab men. I was doing stuff with an afro-arab guy for a while.

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  59. phoebeprunelle, I took your initial comment as a response to my comment about white women feeling more comfortable in black spaces not as a response to OK’s question.

    My bad.

    I also replied to OK saying that didn’t mean white women were less racist but they experience theirs differently and express it differently.

    I didn’t jump on your comment. I replied. The same way I replied to OK.

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  60. Ok, Abagond, that seems like a fair statement on your part…as maybe the person on this blog who has been interracialy dating longer than anyone on here, I cant help but look at some of the statements bizzarrely, and, the person who said things arnt exactly what they are making it out to be, is on the money…I dont really beleive what the media sais, statistics can be twisted anyway someone wants to and if a person wants to be open,and they have done the minimum to be in shape and well groomed, there are people out there for anyone and everyone….the way the American media has treated black beauty, is it any wonder that there is so much confusion in the media?

    But like films, media is not real life…you just get out in real life and find out the deal…for each individual…not what statistics say is happening….

    I dont pay any attention what people say, if I was single, Id have no trouble being able to hook up with a black American woman…because I know how to treat her well and like the beautiful woman she is…and Brazil ls even more open..I think black women in Brazil hook up with white men from outside the country , easiar than black men, if they arnt celebrities, and then its the opisite…Black women in Brazil have no problem showing openess and affection to white men and conveying to them that they are available…for the common black man in Brazil,I see social and class stigmas that are probably racial underneath

    I would feel uncomfortable with a black women if she felt the need to cut down black men…I grew up with black men, many were my role models in life and still are, I could never be with a black woman to convey something to black men…and I also wont stand for being intimidated by any race about who I can date, and have had to face static from all sides since the mid 60’s about interracial dating , so I have a real thick skin, and wont take bs, and dont realy wilt in the face of ridiculous statements about interracial dating

    Yeah, the color contrast is so special, like pepermint and chocalate, what a combination,

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  61. Tobey

    What about black women and Arab men? Does this same analysis apply? Do you consider that a BW + WM? I know that the definitions in this country have been all over the place but technically according to the census Arabs are considered white. Just curious

    In a word NO! – no way no how, in the part of the world where I come from.

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  62. @ Cornlia

    “Position” was too strong for what I meant. I changed it to “views”. Thanks. I also changed the intro so it is clearer why I wrote this. It comes out of comments Peanut made on the BWE thread.

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  63. it was peanut and mstoogoodall actually who were commenting in the BWE thread

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  64. Right, and lifelearner too. I stand corrected.

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  65. we just got tired of the people making black women seem so desperate when we are not. i don’t have anything against white men, i find some white men attractive and in recent years, i would even say i’ve become more attracted to white men, largely because since HS I have had the opportunity to meet some nice white guys who aren’t as racist or myopic as the white men that I grew up with, but I even so, I still prefer Black men and I’ve come to realize that I am attracted to Black men and feel a level of comfort with them that is unrivaled with other groups.

    Like I said, i’ve been approached by white men if I wanted I could have gotten with them, but being white alone isn’t enough to capture my attention. I don’t jump at the first white guy that talks to me like people like to pretend that Black women do…as if we’re that desperate.

    Now, I COULD end up with a white guy or arab guy, but I doubt it.

    so i am not against white men or anything like that at all, I just reject the idea that black women are running after white men and the only reason we’re sticking with Black men is not because of loyalty, but out of desperation. that is so insulting and I cannot believe there are women (or men, i’m not sure) STILL on this thread perpetuating that myth.

    and i also reject the idea that most black women prefer white men whereas other races prefer their own. we prefer our own just like everyone else. period

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  66. You have the right idea, Peanut….you are open, but you have sound fundimentals

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  67. on Fri 7 Jun 2013 at 19:28:42 mstoogood4yall

    @ peanut

    Thanks for giving me credit lol.

    yea and I get tired of it too. They flip flop one minute they say we are with black men because we can’t get white men, then the next if it is a black woman with a white man they say she with him because no black man wanted her[whoopi Goldberg].

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  68. I love your post and respect your opinion. I feel you have a keen insight on things I am not well versed in. But, I just want to say my life experience is very different on this subject. I have a good friend, white male, who is married to a wonderful woman, black female, and he certainly is not her white savior! She saves his butt from stupid decisions all the time. My youngest daughter, a white woman, has been with her boyfriend, a black man, for some time now. Their relationship is the same as the one I had with my late husband for 24 years. It has the same ups and downs, stresses and unique issues that my wife of 4 years and I deal with on a regular basis. I believe if a relationship is built on love and respect, the only thing that keeps you apart are the obstacles you yourself create. Not theories, studies, other people’s experiences or opinions.

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  69. Ok. You’ll be disappointed from this comment, but I have been proposed to by men who were non-black. I’m not huge on marriage, so I denied the proposal. So, don’t assume just because a black woman is single, that it is not by choice.

    Also, either you are a very bitter white woman or black man who takes pleasure in the “perceived” disadvantages of black women.

    Black men don’t have it so easy in the dating pool either. It’s just that they are more open and acceptable in dating. Black women are more choosy. If they date white, most often the man is professional. Ease up on black women.

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  70. hereuntilgone, thank you

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  71. Thanks Abagond. (btz, did u get my email ? Maybe I should have posted in the open thread ?)

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  72. Omnipresent , what did you mean in your reply quoting Tobey ?
    “No” to what ?

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  73. Peanut, “arab men”…

    it depends by who. it depends on how they see themselves. (The Census does classify them as “white”, because it helps to blow “white” numbers, I guess)

    “black arab” “afro-arab” … wo wo wo I’m not sure the people concerned would see it the way you do.

    I’ve never heard an ethnic Arab (people who consider their ancestry as descending from the Arabs of Arabia who conquered north Africa) say that he/she is “a person of color”. Never ever.

    Maybe they do that once they become Americans. About 7 to 15% of the French population today (yes, yes) is ethnic Arab or from North Africa -Berbers- (imagine these numbers in the US, I wonder how they would cope with that… the majority of them being Muslims), I have friends, colleagues, students and wait, maybe family members who are “Arabs” and I’ve never heard one say that. They say they are “Arabic” and are often proud of it. Period.

    It seems from your comment (which I don’t criticize, I’m just commenting) that the gate to Amerikkka has multiple doors with the “color” (meaning “race”) written on top…

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  74. Serenity said this (and other things)

    As a citizen of the Nation of Gods and Earths I don’t advocate interracial relationships because it is an abomination against history and the natural order of things. But that’s my cee and the cee of my household.

    “an abomination against history and the natural order of things” ! (rien que ça ! ben dis donc !)

    I have heard and read that somewhere else before (Gobineau, Hitler, the list is long). These people also have this God-like vision of themselves. They worship Arian gods.

    Sometimes the oppressed become the oppressor. But don’t realize it.

    I have also had a few conversations with people like Serenity, who call themselves “Gods and Earths”. Most conversations were nice and informative. But one of them told me that people were wrong to eat pork. (it’s kindof a mixture of Islam and something else it seems). I told her there are peoples around the world for whom pork is the central diet, like the Tschang people of Cameroon. Then she told me they are wrong and devilish, and she knows better than them.

    And another one left her “God” and settled in an African country. She said: “I will be the Queen here”…

    I don’t like people who have arrested racial agendas, whoever they are. They always end up trying to impose their views on others.

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  75. For those who wonder about the “mixity” of marriages in France involving “Arabs” (people from the Maghreb – meaning the West in Arabic, the same word as Morocco- called “Maghrébins” in France), who “play a role similar to “blacks” in the racist game, here are numbers:

    “Selon l’Insee, 16 % des nouveau-nés entre 2006 et 2008 ont au moins un grand-parent originaire du Maghreb. La moitié sont nés de couple mixtes”.

    “According to INSEE, 16% of the French newborns between 2006 and 2008 have at least one grand-parent whose origins are in the Maghreb. Half were born to mixed couples.”

    Source: http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immigration_en_France#Immigration_maghr.C3.A9bine

    Since “race” is not a reference that is used to classify in France (it is actually forbidden by law to do so), there may be statistics for couples including people of African origin and French with no African origin (so-called “black” and “white” in the US Census and habits). They would imply looking for the geographic origin of people, and including French west Indians.

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  76. Cornlia

    Omnipresent , what did you mean in your reply quoting Tobey ?
    “No” to what ?

    I meant NO – in the part of the world where I am from, Arab and black women would NOT be classed as BW/WM relationship. They are classed as ‘foreign’/other and generally, they are classed swarthy and other derogatory terms but definately not white.

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  77. Thanks Omnipresent.

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  78. I am ABSOLUTELY shocked Abigond, I thought you were fully CODIFIED, I mean I realyze we as a group of people are not all myopic monoliths but I mistakenly thought we were on the same page with some very basic issues like Racism, what it is and how it affects all non white people on the globe. You said “There is nothing wrong with such relationships,” meaning interacial relationship between black women and white men. This shows that you are extremely still confused about racism. There is a huge movement right now to promote interacial relations and same sex relationship specifically within our communities. Did you ever wonder WHY ??? Not very codified at all. We are all victims and as such each of us still carry the residue of confusion of White Supremacy but damn Abagond ….. Soneone with your intellect is still drinking the koolaid of Mistah Charlie, smdh !!!

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  79. The (white) mainstream media has caused the DESIRE on the part of black people to be with anyone BUT another black person to KEEP blacks from UNIFYING and surviving what is coming in this society

    Movies like “The Purge” are more than just entertainment, they are a WARNING to black people of what could happen within an increasingly unstable economy as whites are PREPPED to blame black people VIA President Obama for all that AILS them

    check out the website and you’ll see that this movie may be MORE than a movie.

    http://www.newfoundersamerica.org/

    Unfortunately, many black males and females are so busy blaming and WARRING with each other — a dynamic that began during slavery — that we can’t see the white forest for all the white trees we are happily sexing.

    Since we live under a system of white supremacy, NO black person ever chooses a white person. White people do ALL the choosing, and that is as true for white males as it is for white females.

    They are ALWAYS the most powerful person in that black/white unions. Yes, I know, we like to see sexing whites as “racial progress” but the reality is while black people have been separating from each other, we have collectively lost almost 80 percent of all the so-called civil rights gains made over the last FORTY YEARS.

    Even during the harshest segregation, black males and females had enough common sense to know we NEEDED EACH OTHER. Now, we are so quick to dismiss each other since “I don’t have to date blacks. I can date or marry a white person.”

    But the reality is MOST (over 92%) of white people MARRY OTHER WHITE PEOPLE and the group whites are LEAST LIKELY to marry are BLACK PEOPLE.

    so there really aren’t that many whites who –other than sexing and romping in the sheets with us — are really all that interested in blacks. Maybe, while we still have time, black males and females need to come together to understand HOW our relationships and respect for each other were destroyed DURING 400 years of slavery and HOW our families never recovered.

    I tried to explain that in two our books “The Interracial Con Game” and “Black Love is a Revolutionary Act”

    (Abagond, I hope you don’t mind me posting this hear, if you do please delete the above line)

    One last thing to leave here

    From what I understand, Jews just prior to World War II had the highest incident of marriage with Germans – and these unions were considered “interracial” because Jews were NOT CONSIDERED WHITE by the real whites: Germans. Jews aka SEMITES was equivalent to being MULATTOES (so-called mixed race) people.

    A Jewish psychologist (can’t remember his name) said afterwards that the reason the Jews did not react to the IMMINENT threat (the concentration camps and mass slaughter) was they lacked the SELF-RESPECT to realize they were NOT GERMANS

    and believed the (white) Germans wouldn’t harm them because “we’re Germans, too”

    and you can see the SAME MENTALITY and GROSS WHITE MIS-IDENTIFICATION of many blacks today who are in as MUCH denial as the Jews were prior to being marched into concentration camps.

    I’m sure many will disagree with me, and that’s cool. I said my piece,

    now, I”m moving on…

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  80. I’m sure many will disagree with me, and that’s cool. I said my piece,

    Nope, i don’t disagree at all.

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  81. I love BLACK MEN.(drops mike, steps down off soapbox).

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  82. Right on Trojan pam

    That website looks crazy, I noticed a lot of the movies are about the white house getting destroyed and the world collapse, its definitely not a coincidence.
    Back on topic a lot of the interracial stuff isn’t love, ppl can disagree, but lets be honest now white ppl have been sleeping with blacks but that’s not the same as being in a marriage or lasting relationship. even during world war 2 black men were sleeping with white german women but they weren’t staying together they would leave the country and not talk to those women ever again and there is a documentary about the biracial german kids who were sent to orphanages called brown babies.

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  83. Bows to Trojan Pam. (CLAPS HANDS)

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  84. The question “How many proposals have you gotten?” is just bizarre to say the least. Honestly, how many relationships in the average person’s lifetime are serious enough to bring about a marriage proposal and how many men are just tripping over their own feet to get married? Not to mention it sends the idea that “no marriage = no desirability”, which is nonsense for a number of reasons, but lets just run with that for a second. It doesn’t even take into account there people who don’t want marriage and *gasp* some of them are female!. Also, I’m around quite a bit of military people and no shortage of black wives here, some are with brown men, Asian men, white men, most are with black men.

    And I don’t think black men have it easier on the relationship scene. The well hung stereotype might net them some sex but the other stereotypes and good old fashion colorism seems to slam doors in their faces when it comes to actual relationships(even those of a professional capacity).

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  85. @ phoebeprunelle, mary, and mstoogood4yall

    I agree, sex between whites is nothing new (look at all the different colors and English, Scottish and Irish names from those of us who descended from slaves, like King, Smith, Harris, Washington, etc)

    if you look at the movies that come out of Hollywood and on TV they show black males and females either

    1. fighting each other (for Colored Girls Who have Considered Suicide)

    2. Overcoming the odds in spite of each other (the blind side, Precious, the movie with Will Smith who played a homeless father — where’s the black mother)

    3. dysfunctional parents and sub-human beings (Precious where a black mother asked her daughter for oral sex ????)

    4. The black female as the White Man’s Whore aka sex plaything (MOST Halle Berry movies AFTER she won the Academy award for portraying a white man’s whore in Monster’s Ball)

    5. OR in loving relationships with WHITE PEOPLE

    There is a reason for this imagery, the kind that makes black people suspicious of each other, and hostile toward each other

    To DRIVE US APART so we will not protect or respect each other when the TIME COMES for Black Unity

    to make US sexually available to white people who have NEVER stopped “playing” with our bodies EVEN WHILE PRACTICING RACISM/ WHITE SUPREMACY on us

    Most black females, if they are HONEST, usually look back on their “relationships” with white males (the MAJORITY of which do not end in marriage)

    and have serious regrets and shame because they realize — after the FACT — that they were used sexually, much in the SAME way that their female ancestors were used only now they don’t have to physically force us

    and many black males — after all was said and DONE, look back and realize there were MANY times where the white female they were with was practicing racism but they were either too confused or in too much denial to SEE it.

    I have received dozens of emails (while writing my books) from black males who tell all kinds of stories about the racist white females they lived with, had children with, or married

    and from black females as well, in fact this black female, Reneathia Tate, wrote a book called, “Pieces of a puzzle : the one thing Black females will not talk about”

    where she interviewed black females and white males who had been with white males and black females and what discovered that most of the black females she talked to admitted to being ashamed of their sexual contacts with white males because they realized these white males were racist.

    Without making this post any longer, we have to start asking the right questions.

    Why is the white mainstream media working OVERTIME to drive us apart? Why do we see a “Cheerios’ commercial with a BM and a WW taking care of a child together,

    but we almost NEVER see a commercial with a black male and black female taking care of their black children?

    Why are nearly all the black children in TV commercials have a white parent (aka a so-called “biracial” child?)

    why does the media seemed DETERMINED to keep us apart? and how does the white supremacy system benefit from it?

    we need to stop looking at “entertainment” as harmless and start seeing it for what it is

    WHITE SUPREMACY PROPAGANDA and PROGRAMMING

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  86. TrojanPam.

    The (white) mainstream media has caused the DESIRE on the part of black people to be with anyone BUT another black person to KEEP blacks from UNIFYING and surviving what is coming in this society

    That is certainly not the impression a foreigner gets from pictures of couples in this US of A where every other couple pictured or filmed is “racially unified”.

    It was even shocking to my children who asked: “do people have to look like brothers and sisters to get married here ?”

    Then they attended American school and understood what’s going on.

    It is not that simple. It is much deeper and subtle that the “mainstream media”. Because the mainstream media wants to maintain the “racial” statu quo.

    I don’t see why “blacks” could not “unify” even if they are individually in couples “out of their race” (da*n how I hate that expression, it just sounds SOOO ridiculous, but I want to be understood).

    Wasn’t Cheick Anta Diop a unifier ? 0—0

    Or maybe I didn’t understand what you were referring to TrojanPam. What did you mean by the “mainstream media”. What type of “media” in the sense of “material” used to promote what you say it promotes ?

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  87. @ TrojanPam,

    “The issue I had was that the show has, in my opinion, not shown a three-dimensional, balanced, black-on-black relationship. As a matter of fact, I just felt that the two relationships that I had with Black women were very dysfunctional, and not explored. And when I got into interracial relationship, I thought it was a much better written story line. I think Black women are so sensitive to seeing interracial relationships because they feel they’re getting the short end of the stick.

    I hated ending something that was working, but I felt there was a greater issue. I felt we were inadvertently sending a very strange message that I wasn’t comfortable with, which is: Here’s a successful Black man who can only have dysfunctional relationships with Black women. But, when he dates outside his race, he is more vulnerable, more open, sweeter, more romantic, sensual. All the things I think are false. I feel it’s a shame we can’t point to a positive, three-dimensional, fully developed Black-on-Black relationship in recent memory. As a Black artist and as a Black man, I do have a responsibility to my community not to perpetuate things that are detrimental to my community and myself.”
    – eriq la sale, Ebony 1999

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  88. I think I got it from your next comment.

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  89. I agree that the media is definitely biased against black couples and they LOVE to portray us as dysfunctional, stop supporting these movies…

    I think people over did it with the cheerios commercial though, who the f*ck cares…

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  90. Now I have read the end of your last comment, TrojanPam, and I must say we don’t watch the same TV channels… Where the heck have you seen those ? I have never seen any that shows the persons you describe.

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  91. and I also agree that marrying/sexing between white folks and black folks is NOT sign of racial progress cuz that’s always been going on so people who think that really are delusional

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  92. @ PEANUT

    I remember that review with LaSalle, and included it on the book I did on interracial relationships within a white supremacy society

    Let’s see how HONEST (black) people can be for a sec by HONESTLY answering one question:

    When a white person walks into the room and/or engages you in conversation, do you find yourself (and/or other black people)

    are suddenly on your/our BEST BEHAVIOR, being very pleasant, helpful, and agreeable, using words with more syllables and trying to impress them that you are a “certain kind of (quality) intelligent black person?

    This question is for black males and females only (please)

    If the answer to the above is a partial OR full-blown YES for either yourself OR other black people, what are the chances that we ALSO treat whites than blacks when we are in relationships with them?

    And WHY do we think this is happening IF NOT FOR OUR SLAVE PROGRAMMING OVER A 400 year period that taught us to put white people on a pedestal and to look down on other black people?

    If you’re not familiar with the Stockholm Syndrome, Google it

    this syndrome provides some insight into why the OPPRESSED treat their OPPRESSORS better than they treat their FELLOW OPPRESSED COMRADES

    it’s the same dynamic that happens in a concentration camp or a prison where the prisoners fight with each other to curry FAVOR with the guards and the warden

    WHO HOLD THE POWER OF LIFE AND DEATH OVER THEM

    this will explain a lot about the reasons and behaviors of black people in so-called “interracial” relationships with whites and why most of these relationships are TACKY at best

    why? because they are based on LYING to ourselves and each other about why we would choose a person who represents our oppression and the oppression of our own people

    past and present

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  93. Peanut,

    there is a difference between marriage and sexual “relationships” and reproduction. huge huge difference

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  94. TrojanPam, I think what you pointed to in one of your comments (where you mention the Jews in Germany) is the hypocrisy of the Nation State, which at the same time claimed national unity but built itself on “race” (it is the case of the US and France with differences and similarities)

    Which doesn’t mean, of course, that sticking to one’s “race” to build a people will function either… It *may* seem “natural” to some (who express it this way), but the only problem is that “race” is as much a construction as the Nation State is… It is not “natural”, not more than the nation concept.

    As a matter of fact, both are ideologies developed by the same exact people, the “elite” (self-proclaimed) the European peoples (who never asked to be called white, but were brought in the system like everyone else for the benefit of a few who are still reaping the fruit, big time, today).

    They really designed their thing very well, either way, we are trapped.

    Unless we decide to drop both. And look elsewhere for ideas.

    Like


  95. Oh! Got Damn!!! Not my girl Bria……….

    Like


  96. @ Cornlia

    I disagree, the same SUBMISSION dynamic is present whenever a white and a black person are in the same bed — and often in the same room.

    White people may pretend that isn’t the case, but let them get into a conflict with a black person and they expect to come out ON TOP, and usually expect that black person to give in and let them have their way

    Abagond did a blog on the MANIPULATIVE techniques of white females called “White Women’s Tears”

    and this dynamic is very powerful in manipulating black males who do not know they are dealing with a white female who knows EXACTLY what she is doing

    that’s why I believe so many white females PURSUE (and capture) black and non-white males

    because they are often the ONLY males they can dominate and feel superior to,

    to the extent that a toothless, obese, crazy white female can still feel like a Fay Wray in the bed with King Kong and still feel beautiful because of her whiteness and his non-whiteness

    in other words, she is in the DRIVER’S seat, and has a male she can dominate and feel superior to AND feel like she is beautiful

    something that is MUCH MORE difficult to do with a white male who knows he is in a DOMINANT position over white females AND who has the pick of white females in terms of looks and intelligence if he is qualified to get them

    and in that case, lesser “quality” white females can use the RACISM DOMINANCE DYNAMIC to get a better quality black or non-white male even if they are NOT quality females.

    the same can be true for white males choosing a black or non-white female

    it is POWER and CONTROL and a lust for black flesh that drives most white females to seek black males

    and has nothing to do with seeing them as “equal” to whites

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  97. @ Cornlia

    who said, “TrojanPam, I think what you pointed to in one of your comments (where you mention the Jews in Germany) is the hypocrisy of the Nation State, which at the same time claimed national unity but built itself on “race” (it is the case of the US and France with differences and similarities)”

    —-

    SAY WHAT?

    Like


  98. @ Cornlia

    you don’t have to watch the same “channels” or TV programs to see there is literally NOTHING on TV but white supremacy

    where whites are the “NORM” and everyone else must fit their round, non-white bodies into square white holes (so to speak)

    the white standard of beauty is the same whether you are watching TV in the UK, in France, in Sweden, in Mexico, in Canada, in the U.S.

    or in a HUT in the jungles of Guatemala

    the IMAGERY of white is the STANDARD for the rest of the world is present.

    that WHITE PEOPLE are the Harry Potters, most of the Disney and super-hero characters, and most of the people who have INVENTED or DISCOVERED everything worth inventing and discovering

    even to the SICKENING extent of showing white people as the MASTERS of the African continent telling the TV audience what animals are “thinking” (?) and showing the African people who have SUCCESSFULLY EXISTED on that continent for THOUSANDS OF YEARS before the first white man stepped foot on African soil

    and making those of us who do not know any better

    that the IGNORANT African man knows LESS about his own continent that the white man great adventurer who is talking into the mike of the TV camera

    that’s what I mean — and I’d bet my brand new laptop that you’ve seen this and KNOW exactly what I’m talking about

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  99. TrojanPam you need to read stuff on the link between the idea of race and the formation of Nation States.
    My advice would be Mahmood Mamdani.

    I see you know “white” women very well.

    I’m delighted to learn that as a “lesser quality white woman” I “pursued and captured” my husband because I was “toothless and crazy” and wanted to “dominate” him.

    He will be happy to know he’s been blind all this time.

    “Joke” aside (I know you’re very serious TrojanPam but I am too), don’t you think your generalizations are verging on the crazy side of things ?

    Like


  100. TrojanPam, I actually agree with a lot of things you’re saying (most)

    Like


  101. Obviously a hot topic here… It got more comments than your last three posts combined in a short period.

    My only opinion is I have a similar opinion as Abagond on relationships the other way around . (bm/ww). I’m totally cool with it unless it is for the wrong reasons, which happens on both sides in that scenario.

    In this scenario (bw/wm) I think it is pretty rare for the white man to have the wrong reasons. When he does it , it is usually on choice alone, and although he might be rebelling some racism in his own family, I think that it’s rare that he is (getting back) at someone which sometimes happens with white women. jmo.

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  102. What is interesting is how many black people — who lives are SEVERELY impacted by racism/white supremacy on a DAILY basis (whether they recognize it or not)

    seem to think in that ENVIRONMENT that they can still have “race-neutral” relationships and marriages and that they are making “free choices” despite having a lack of true freedom

    and that, folks, is the MAGIC OF WHITE SUPREMACY

    Like


  103. @ Hung @ Kushite

    I felt the same way.

    Like


  104. But I have to question this, TrojanPam:

    what are your sources ?

    From what I understand, Jews just prior to World War II had the highest incident of marriage with Germans – and these unions were considered “interracial” because Jews were NOT CONSIDERED WHITE by the real whites: Germans. Jews aka SEMITES was equivalent to being MULATTOES (so-called mixed race) people.

    just prior to WWII ?
    Where the “interracial marriages” happening in the Ghettoes ? Or where people hiding in the countryside ?

    Prior to WWII was THE CLIMAX of anti-semitism in Germany and the rest of Europe. It was the rise of Hitler to power !

    It had already started in the late 1890s (and before) and was certainly not encouraging people to enter such marriages.

    You base your subsequent analysis and comparison on this claim, and that is *a little* problematic.

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  105. @ Peanut

    “The reality is MOST Black women prefer Black men, MOST of us. The BWE black women are a minority, in fact I have NEVER met a Black woman OFFLINE who prefers white men. Have I met Black women who are “open,” to white men yes, but I have NEVER met one Black woman who ONLY dates white men or thinks they’re BETTER partners than Black men offline…NEVER.”—I agree. White men for most black women that I know are second choice.

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  106. @Peanut
    “and I also agree that marrying/sexing between white folks and black folks is NOT sign of racial progress cuz that’s always been going on so people who think that really are delusional”

    yeah it has but at least it’s if its not a little more accepted, there is a wider dialogue?

    @trojanpam

    “I disagree, the same SUBMISSION dynamic is present whenever a white and a black person are in the same bed — and often in the same room”

    most people ostensibly bed other people due to some type of attraction? or financial arrangement to be cynical, but that’s not my point…

    every and I mean every single one of the black women i have dated or been in a relationship with (imagine that, it’s happened!) has been strong, outspoken and stuck to her priniciples for the most part.

    I agree there may be a reflexive diminutive dynamic to some degree, i have noticed this, it manifests sometimes, i have seen, when people don’t know you (meaning me) as a white person, you get this ‘are you a cop’ thing for a while, and then people see you live there and that does go away once people get to know you, or hey, you have some cultural competence. i mean i have been in front of customers and litterally caught myself ‘dry-washing’ my hands, i think this happens to a lot of different people and also has a lot to do with set and setting, it is also sometimes, curiously enough, known as courtesy and can be extended in either direction.

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  107. @dave sometimes i wonder, white people in the form of my parents, schoolmates, etc etc had the first crack at me…

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  108. In the ABC drama Scandal. The actor who portrays Kerry Washington’s lover is just not appealing to me. The interracial thing doesn’t bother me. It’s just the actor is just so unappealing to me. I guess power makes a man sexy. But that guy is just not sexy to me. In the Tyler Perry soap opera The Haves And Have Not’s. Again actress Tika Sumpter is a scheming jezebel stereotype. Blackmailing the wealthy Politian. Tyler Perry just appeals to the lowest common denominator.

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  109. @ Ok

    I have to disagree with several things you have said. First of all we live in 2013 so women can and do initiate interest if they are interested. The idea that interest rests solely on the male is a bit ridiculous. I dated and was engaged to a white man through an initiation that began with me. The truth of the matter is if one party does not step up then one will never know where it can lead to. Most women do want the man to initiate but it does not always need to happen that way.

    “Black women are often left alone doing everything (child rearing, work, etc.) by themselves.”—According to who? You and your area? Where I live most black men are in there kids lives (black girlfriends or wives). A few years ago I may have actually agreed with you on this but in recent I have to disagree.

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  110. I have been asked out twice by white men. I have one particular funny incident where when I was on public transportation. This one white guy would put a Jet or Ebony magazine with a Hershey’s candy bar wrapped in gift wrapping paper and these cards. Whatever holiday it was he had a card with the magazines and Hershey bars. He was so creepy looking and I didn’t know how to say I was not interested. He looked like Woody Allen. Another guy asked me out and he was very eclectic and funny but he smelled funny. I just couldn’t get into it. If the guy is not educated about black culture and I have to school him about everything that could be a problem. I just prefer a black man. We have much in common and we just groove well together. That’s just for me.

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  111. @OK; I am so offended at your description of Black Women. You are so wrong. All you did was describe us as negative stereotypes. You are very misinformed about Black women. You are just wrong on so many levels. Shame on you.

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  112. @ OK

    Let me break this down from my experience. I have dated quite a few many (mainly black). I was proposed to by one of the white males I was dating and the other always hinted towards it before I made it clear on my plans. Of the white guys I dated I was never really attracted to them. I dated them because I could in a world where I was told I could or should not. I did not accept marriage or any deeper relationship because I could not land it but rather because I did not want it with them. They lacked the safety and security I felt I could get with a black man. So I would not be quick to mistake not wanting with not able to get.

    Being proposed to or married does not dictate the desirability of a woman. Marriage can be dissolved just the same as common law or regular relationship. One just requires more paperwork.

    @ mary burrell

    I think it is the power thing for him because I do find him attractive.

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  113. @ OK; We black women are not these pathetic sad sack creatures you described in your comments. I know I’m not one. Hell a lot of black women if they are single are single by choice. A lot of us like being single. Marriage and children is not for everyone. Did you even think of that? Honestly you have a very narrow minded view of black women. Shaking My Head.

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  114. Sharina (and all)

    your comment here makes it even more difficult for me (a French person) to understand what “dating” is.

    Why would you “date” someone if you are not attracted to them, if there is nothing in particular between you ?

    What exactly is “a date” ? I’m addressing everyone here.

    Ever since I lived in the US I can’t understand what it is.

    A market ? A way to pick someone ? Are dates boyfriends and girlfriends or are those something else ?

    This is totally strange (and even weird I would say, by the cultural distance) territory for me. (And I venture to guess for most French people)

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  115. @mary burrell

    That’s funny. I can recall back in my college days, having a white male that would “talk to me” I thought he was just friendly. My friends thought otherwise. He reminded me of the Terminator. I never took it serious because I knew what I wanted in a mate, and being able to use the same comb was a criteria, lol. :-D

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  116. Well , according to the code racism/white supremacy is designed to be confusing, it is a big part of how they rule the universe. Having said that you only mention to being french, Are you white or non white because national identity can be extremely confusing. That is WHERE I would start first. Oh and the Racist White supremacy DECIDES if you be white or non white. Just a tip…..

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  117. @ Cornlia

    “Why would you “date” someone if you are not attracted to them, if there is nothing in particular between you ? “–It started out as a friendly joke. After which he asked me out and we started going out (dating or seeing each other). Things moved very fast with him and I did not know how to politely break it off. When I say attracted I think it would have been better to say not enough to want to be with him for more than friends. He was cute just not the type to get me hot in the pants.

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  118. dating in america is both a courtship ritual and a vetting process somewhere in between a ‘one-night stand’ and ‘long term relationship’ wherein the two participants are known as ‘playing the field’ or ‘exploring their options.’ the american female tends to get a lot of free dinners, movies, and other gifts and travel expenses at the behest of the american male, while both are free to see other people and take time off to ‘have some space.’ this is not for the faint of heart or the jealous type.

    dating can lead to ‘going steady’, if carried out for a long enough time, whereby the two actors are not, let’s say living together, in many cases, but have a somewhat enhanced view of expectations and a pretension towards monogomy. this can lead back into universally recognized territory, such as engagement and marriage.

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  119. dates are not boyfriend/girlfriend, also not to be confused with ‘date’ ie liasion with a sex worker, it is a rather fungible term, indeed

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  120. but, of course, you can still go out on a date with your girlfriend, or wife even!

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  121. @ v8driver

    “dates are not boyfriend/girlfriend”—I always took it as the person you are going out with. A boyfriend or girlfriend. Thanks for the clarification.

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  122. And at the first sign of anger the first word utter from white individual’s mouth will be the dreaded N word. Trust and Believe. That’s another reason I would not date a white man.

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  123. @ Cornlia. Dating, seeing that individual on a social level. Maybe marriage is considered maybe not. But you do things with said individual. Going out to dinner, movies, or just spending time with that individual you have something in common with. I hope this makes sense.

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  124. on Sat 8 Jun 2013 at 03:07:40 Lwanda Magere

    My two cents

    1) Peanut, I must say I disagree. I have never had a problem getting sex. I am reformed from my former ways and no longer seek premarital encounters, but when I was a bit more worldly, getting sex wasn’t some painful obstacle for me. Women outnumber men by 2:1. By sheer numbers, men have a very easy time getting sex from women because there are just more women out there.

    Also, I don’t agree with the assumption that men are always offering sex therefore women can easily get it. I have several male friends who have turned down sex from women, even beautiful ones. Sad to say I was pretty much ho fo sho back when I wasn’t seeking God, so I never turned down sex. But I know of men who have.

    2) I don’t have a problem with interracial dating. I do have a problem with people who do it because they dislike their own people. That to me is foolish. I do prefer my beautiful Black queens, but of the six women I have dated, only two were not Black (one was White, one was half White/Mexican). Honestly, interracial dating for me has been a tremendous headache. Both times, the fathers were racist. Soft racism to my face, overt racism to their daughters when I was not present (but they’d always relay it to me).

    One area where I do agree with Peanut is that I hate the fact that the media always makes it seem like the best option for Blacks is to date non-Blacks. They poison our community with those kinds of lies. Black women are made to feel that a White man will be more loyal. Black men are made to feel that White women will be more of a partner and cooperative. Meanwhile, fools eat that up and wonder why they are alone while over 95% of White people choose to be with another White person.

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  125. @lifelearner; Yeah, I agree about the comb thing. LoL.

    Like


  126. Thanks for the “date” explanations everyone. Particularly V8, I think you pretty much covered the aspects I was not sure/confused about.

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  127. @OK. Actually yes, since you asked: I have received numerous serious marriage proposals. I thought I qualified what kind of attention I was getting from the rainbow coalition – including white men – who throughout my entire life have been very interested in me and women who look like me.

    Needless to say, but apparently I have to say it anyway: I can actually tell the difference between a man after one thing, and a man who’s interested in me as a person. I’m not interested in revealing my age at this time, but lets just say I have somewhere in the ballpark of a quarter of a century of relationship experience under my belt. Years of being choosy about who I share my life with, not running around dating whoever winks at me.

    However, I have never been interested in marriage despite seeing a wonderful example of my parent’s marriage – they are still hitched to this very day – I have my own reasons for that, and if mentioned, would take this thread off topic anyway. Feel free to contact me on my blog and ask away if you wish.

    I can’t speak for all Black women, but my life experience which continues to this day, and the experiences of my close friends, also Black women, have been contrary to what has been bandied about in society, the media etc. You may accept that information, or you may ignore it.

    Loving, healthy and respectful relationships be they BW/WM or otherwise are beautiful. A life full of love, support, respect and equality from those who you choose to share your life with is always a wonderful thing. If you’ve experienced those things as I have, then you know of what I speak.

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  128. @ Lwanda,

    “Peanut, I must say I disagree. I have never had a problem getting sex. I am reformed from my former ways and no longer seek premarital encounters, but when I was a bit more worldly, getting sex wasn’t some painful obstacle for me. Women outnumber men by 2:1. By sheer numbers, men have a very easy time getting sex from women because there are just more women out there.”

    I said the exact same thing…why do u disagree? I said it wasn’t a problem getting sex and I never said that it was a painful obstacle…

    Like


  129. C.Andrews. Yeah I know who decides. But I also decide what I am (some here will say that’s my “privilege”, which it is, but I’d rather it wasn’t).

    When I entered the US 20 something years ago, I learnt I was supposed to call myself white, and to my utter amazement, even “Caucasian”. Which made me laugh a lot first. And then prompted me to learn why the heck I should call myself things that I knew where not me.

    But anyway, why did you want to know ? (It always sounds like *the* ritual over here… Always makes me smile a little, though I know how serious it is.)

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  130. oh I see you’re saying it is easy for a man to get sex. it may be easy to get sex, but I still think that it is much easier for a woman to get sex than a man. even when they did a study they had women go up to men, strangers mind you, and offer sex, all of the men said yes and when men did the experience none of the women said yes…

    I think it’s definitely easier for a woman to get sex than a man…just my opinion.

    I find it interesting because whenever a Black man refers to Black women as “queens,” I find that usually that means he is compensating for he fact that he doesn’t date Black women…not saying that is the case with you because you’ve dated Black women before…lol

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  131. I don’t know about others but when I say “white men don’t find black women attractive” I mean it in the same way Abagond mentions, they dont’ because they are racist and that black women almost don’t exist to them inregards to that.

    As Abagond himself as said; a beautiful black woman can walk by a white man and he might not react to her at all.

    The lack of attraction isn’t that black women are ugly its taught white men are socially programmed not to view them as potential dates. To the extent that they don’t even have to think about it, it just is.

    That being said; I would agree with what others have said about the reason black women aren’t in more interracial relationships is because they don’t choose to be in them.

    After all; even when factoring in racism cutting down the numbers; white people in tthe US are still a notably larger group.

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  132. “The lack of attraction isn’t that black women are ugly its taught white men are socially programmed not to view them as potential dates. To the extent that they don’t even have to think about it, it just is.”

    I know that I’m not I the only Black woman on here that has been propositioned by a white man before??? surely I can’t be the only one…I’ve been groped by a white man before too, mind you he was intoxicated, but it did happen.

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  133. and i’m not saying being propositioned is in the same category as romantic expression at all, but why do you all keep repeating over and over again that you as a Black man don’t notice white men looking at Black women…you don’t notice because you’re not a Black woman lol…you’re not around when it happens BLack women are

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  134. @Peanut

    Well; being drunk would help to break down social programming.

    There will be white men who are attracted to black women and express it, maybe they grew up around them, maybe they just like them but whatever the reason they are going to exist.

    That being said; as I get older I have to question if they truly lack attraction or just don’t show it due to social programming.

    Mainly because my information here is based on personal experience from spending much of my youth on up in the south. But not long ago it came out that the southern states highest “search term” were for black women.

    The only reason I still give some thought to the non-attracted racism/sociological reinforcement aspect is because it mirrors my own experiences for much of my life.

    I should point out that whatever the truth is; there are still notably more people attracted to black women than are open about it.

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  135. abagond u know what just erase my last two comments please, just delete them I know they’re gonna be taken the wrong way…

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  136. What wrong way Peanut ? They sound fine in the conversation and with the topic to me…

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  137. @ V-4,

    I agree social programming is a big factor

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  138. fine, @ abagond,

    leave my comments up

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  139. @ peanut.

    A drunk white man groped u oh hell no. I woulda kicked his arse, lol

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  140. “you don’t notice because you’re not a Black woman lol…you’re not around when it happens BLack women are”

    True and a lot of them do and say racist stuff to black women when black men aren’t around. They do hit on black women when no black men are around.

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  141. I noticed in every article that abagond, posts. The comments always seem to come down to black men and woman, DEFENDING THEMSELVES!

    who are these white people, we feel a need to justify and explain ourselves for their, approval if you will. Some may say, its not approval, I’m just saying is all..

    When you really get down to the niddy gritty, it really is approval, being everyone seems to want to convince and prove to white people, who aren’t this and that and we are this and that.

    I’ve said this many times in my posts in my short time on abagond’s blog and I’ll say it again on this one.

    We need to stop, trying to seek acceptance, approval and validation from white people.

    We need to concentrate on trying to educate young black children and teenagers, not spending the majority of our time and energy, trying to convince white people of their racism, which they know of but just refuse to admit to us.

    I know, i get it….abagond wants to talk about black people in the context of white supremacy.

    We can do that and we can also talk about each other in the context of the black community, take a little time off from talking about our oppressors and talk about positive and even some negative things about us, among ourselves.

    TALK TO ME, YOUR BROTHER!! I’M RIGHT HERE!!!! <——

    I NEED MY SISTAS AND BROTHAS, THEY DON'T WANT OR NEED YOU, I NEED YOU!

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  142. @mstoogoodall,

    it was at my old apartment sophomore year, I had these ditzy blonde roommates and they belonged to a sorority, so they loved to bring their frat boys around…so drunken fools are talking loud and getting drunk while I am in my room trying to sleep this is like a few weeks before finals and I had been studying earlier and wanted to sleep, so they’re outside acting like fools.

    I go out there and tell them to keep it down and drunken frat boy runs up to me and drapes himself all over me, and puts his hands all over my body, he was breathing all hard with liquor on his breath…I was so mad…

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  143. I’ve had white men drape themselves on me a couple of times when they were drunk…I think white men get drunk WAAAY more than Black men do . Why don’t people ever do studies on that??? Cuz when I was in college, it was the white students who binge drank like crazy.

    When Black people go to parties, we have alcohol and stuff, but that’s not the main focus of the event, we’re more into dancing and “club dancing,” and everything, it seems like at the white parties the main focus was getting drunk. I never understood that, perhaps it’s a cultural difference

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  144. @ sondis,

    great points

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  145. btw, here is a good example of the type of black man who believes black women are only with bm because we “can’t get white men,” if anyone is interested (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLb-ptT3Bo8)

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  146. @ Peanut. I’ve had white men hit on me numerous times. I had a white man making eyes at me afew weeks ago. We were at lunch and he was at a table with his friends. I smiled at the attention and that was it. I’m married and the attention is nice, so I responded a little. Anyway I’ve dated two white guys in the past. One was serious, lasted a few years and the other was just a couple of dates. He wanted sex only I could tell, especially after he told me he had a “big dick” and wanted me so bad. Ugh turn off. So the “big dick” was supposed to make me swoon ? I avoided him at work for a year after that.

    I see non-black men checking me out. They do find us attractive, not all but there are a lot of them that are interested. Some are wary of us turning them down, some worry what their family and friends would think. But I have seen a lot more BW/WM together everywhere.

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  147. Hey Peanut, lemme see what you talkin’ about, willis…

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  148. @ Peanut, that guy in the YouTube video you posted, was a very poor example.

    I mean, the brotha was barely coherent. He was ranting if anything, post someone with a more, intellectual take on the subject.

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  149. @ sondis, I agree with everything you said. I like you am sick of trying to validate myself to white people and get their approval. We don’t need valiation from them. We shouldn’t care what they think at all. We just need to have discourse about our isssues as they pertain to us.

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  150. mary burrell:

    And at the first sign of anger the first word utter from white individual’s mouth will be the dreaded N word. Trust and Believe. That’s another reason I would not date a white man.

    Is that your experience? My wife has told me horror stories of people she grew up with who witnessed their white women saying this about the black men.

    In my experience, a minority of white men with black women (the ones who have a ‘different’ agenda like to gain a good street ‘rep’) will try to take the most commonly associated but negative traits of black men and ‘act up’, almost as if they have the right to do that because they are with a black woman. It is pitiful to witness.

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  151. @Omnipresent; I have had white people use that pejorative term . I know they (whites) are conditioned to use that word. It is ingrained in their psyches.

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  152. @ Omnipresent; My male cousin is married to a white woman and she uses racial slurs. She bought him a tee shirt with a raccoon eating a slice of watermelon. I was so taken aback seeing this. That is one reason I wouldn’t date out. I just feel whites have a perceived why of thinking about black people.

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  153. *perceived way of thinking * Typos in above comments.

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  154. @peanut
    “When Black people go to parties, we have alcohol and stuff, but that’s not the main focus of the event, we’re more into dancing and “club dancing,” and everything, it seems like at the white parties the main focus was getting drunk. I never understood that, perhaps it’s a cultural difference”

    yeah … that’s accurate

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  155. @mary burrell

    “And at the first sign of anger the first word utter from white individual’s mouth will be the dreaded N word. Trust and Believe. That’s another reason I would not date a white man.”

    not neccessarily!

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  156. Lets face it, if anyone wants to date interracialy, you are going against the grain.it is not an open freindly world. I mean the whole world. You think I trust Europe , with soccar fans yelling racist epiphits and throwing bannanas on the feild? I heard a German guy say some racist things to a white woman married to a black guy….In Brazil, lots of people assume Im with a prostitute when Im with my wife….

    Look at some of the attitudes on here….they are a joke, loaded with obscesion on the subject, ridiculous on some of the assumtions……I am in stitches at some of the hang ups I see rolling….I mean seriously oppisite of my whole life experiance

    All , and I mean all the black women I have dated were strong independent women , who didnt hate black men, who didnt have issues in black society, and would be happy to get in the face of the people making some of the statements here with their psycho sexual political agenda babble , and, straighten them out about their personal motives for dating me. How I respect those black women, for just acting on their attraction. We werent dating to prove a point to the world, it was pure attraction , and not letting society from all sides dictate to us how we ar supposed to act. But, make no mistake, dating interracialy , is against the grain, expect flak to come out from underneath slimy rocks from all sides….a lot of people are just plain uptight and hung up about it

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  157. BR:

    You think I trust Europe , with soccar fans yelling racist epiphits and throwing bannanas on the feild? I heard a German guy say some racist things to a white woman married to a black guy….In Brazil, lots of people assume Im with a prostitute when Im with my wife….

    I dont know what you mean about trusting Europe. I dont think anything has been said about it not being racist – that would be totally untrue. My OH has half her family in the U.S and they compare/contrast experiences and it seems that while some things are the same, some things are different too. It becomes irrelevant in the grand scheme of things though, racism is poisonous however it is demonstrated.

    Yes, the football side of things is bad and always has been. The current footballers are raising issues continually so the league have no choice but to address this issue. Football has a lot of talent – many of it black, so they have no choice but to deal with it.

    Of course, Germany has a long history of racism/separatism in one form or another so unfortunately it is not a surprise to hear this however, my OH has said many of her friends (black women) have gone to Germany and have been pleasantly surprised at how welcome they have been made to feel and also, how they have been pursued as objects of desire from German men.

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  158. omnipresent, I made that statement to point out that these attitudes against interracial dating are not only the USA

    Also, only because you are refferencing your relationship, Im not clear if you are an interracial couple? I dont mean that to pry, but, it seems you are mentioning your mate, and Im not sure who is who in the referance…I can understand if you dont want to clarify that, but if you could, I would get your referance

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  159. BR:

    omnipresent, I made that statement to point out that these attitudes against interracial dating are not only the USA

    Maybe I am being a bit thick but I am not sure what the point of that is, particularly as I in my own way which may or may not be clear, acknowledge that there is still racism and certain stigmas. The only difference I have pointed out here is that Interracial relationships seem to be more common in Europe and that the attitudes that exist about how black females are received in the U.S are not so overt. That is obviously NOT to say that there are not people who think like this and it doesnt necessarily follow that there is more or less racism. It just doesnt seem as prevalant as in the U.K.

    I dont know what you mean by who is in the reference when I refer to my OH – regardless, when I give the examples, I do state the race of the people that she refers to for example many of her friends (black women) have gone to Germany and have been pleasantly surprised at how welcome they have been made to feel and also, how they have been pursued as objects of desire from German men.

    I am in NO way trying to say that her examples give a FULL and comprehensive picture, that would not be right. Oftentimes with statistics, you only get a partial story but sometimes with personal experiences can come enlightenment in that you can get to the nitty gritty of the human psyche (though sometimes not :-) )

    Like


  160. BR:

    Also, when you said this

    In Brazil, lots of people assume Im with a prostitute when Im with my wife….

    I assume it was to demonstrate ugly stereotypical views about black women?

    Sorry but I look at this from another angle. You already said that you were in your 60’s on the ‘porn’ thread. I gather your wife is black and I know black women often keep their youthful looks way past women of other races. It might be fair to presume in some of the cases that perhaps people were wondering what your wife was doing with someone who ‘appeared’ to be older than she was and then they incorrectly assume their must be some financial benefit on her part. Of course it is not at all nice that your wife felt insulted but perhaps it is less about her and more about you and who you are/how you look that contributed towards this – just a thought.

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  161. @peanut, I think this be a more approriate video to view and as a black women I know this video sadly is pretty accurate, just one of the sic side effect of racism/white supremacist. Check it out !!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-zQpbrsxJg

    Like


  162. BR:

    By the way, in response to this Also, only because you are refferencing your relationship, Im not clear if you are an interracial couple?

    It is good that you ask as hopefully it means that my comments are coming across objectively. I will say that my interest and desire to address some of the negative comments about black women do come from personal knowledge of the extreme opposite.

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  163. Omnipresent, in Brazil, it is a stereotype that black Brazilian women with white foreigners are prostitutes…my wife is a dancer and does look a lot younger than me..but,that doesnt account for the prejucice notion that floats around. Where I am thick skinned and really would just as soon as walk towards people who give us the stink stares and anyone with narrow minded veiws on interracial relationships and say “fuk you” , she is very sensitive and for 28 years is not comfortable just going out anywhere and being subjected to low leval abuse…she knows the kind of attitudes that float in her country

    Ok, so you dont want to divulge what you mean, I dont even know what “OH” means…the only reason it matters to me is it seems relevant to what your “OH” is talking about…but really…it doesnt mean anything to me if you dont want to share it….

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  164. @ V-4

    “I should point out that whatever the truth is; there are still notably more people attracted to black women than are open about it.”—I agree.

    Like


  165. BR:

    OH means Other Half.

    Like


  166. @ C. Andrews, eh it’s hard for me to guage what to think about that video, since it has sotomayer’s ‘watermark’ all over it, i would surmise that he produced or was some way involved with the production of the video, ie so it has the cast of ‘agit-prop’ to some degree to me? You can see the girls identifying the camera in a few segments, so obviously there is some awareness of the unreality of the whole thing?

    secondly, all the guy’s doing is getting numbers, with some extremely corny pickup lines. i’m not addressing the propriety in a racial sense of those things he said, he would probably run the risk of getting his butt kicked badly in most urban settings, especially cruising around the same area like that.

    And, as previously discussed, it is more of a ‘black guy ice-breaking style’ rather than that of most white guys, to just walk up to a girl and ask for her number, like before even asking for a name? Certainly not my style, but life does seem to pass quickly past the age of 40… maybe some cultural appropriation is not bad, but I would certainly not lick a girl and stuff, i’m surprised he didn’t get his arm broken! or going immediately hot and heavy into ‘ooh you’re so black and like chocolate’ and all that, that was kinda creepy, no question.

    seems to me he is in some type of resort or ‘spring break’ town and i think this hardly can reflect life ‘on the regular’

    “hey what’s your name, do you live around here, can i get your number, maybe we can get something to eat?”

    works pretty well so far…

    Like


  167. oops switched from wp to fb wrong button

    Like


  168. That white guy is some gay russian guy who goes around doing pranks and trying to show how easy it is to get guys to go out with you, girls to kiss you or for women to prostitute themselves.

    It also kind of seems to fall under the pick up artist angle of “brazen is best” that they often tout.

    Essentially that being a creep is more effective for getting dates than being sensitive.

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  169. @ C.Andrews:

    what does this video, supposedly prove?

    Peanut posted a YouTube video about a black man, ranting about black women, sleeping with and having babies by white men, then becoming pro-black, only after getting treated like trash by white men.

    His whole premise was, don’t come crawling back to us, ( black men ) when you find out, what we knew all along, the white man, doesn’t want you, ( meaning want to marry or have your children in masses ).

    Yeah, of course white men want to have sex with a black woman but what does that prove?

    Black women were raped by their slave masters and by white men, during Jim crow, does that mean they loved black women and want to marry them?, of course not.

    When black men, say white men don’t want black women, this is what we mean, not because black women aren’t beautiful or not desirable, its because white men look at our beautiful black women like a slave whore from back in slavery.

    I think most of the anger and hostility, comes from this, when black men get angry, when seeing a black woman with a white man.

    Just because a very small percentage of white men, will marry and have children with a black woman, doesn’t mean white men, love black women.

    These interracial websites, do give black women, false hopes in thinking, white men want them in a real way , not just a fantasy or experiment. I believe that the majority of white men that seek black women on interracial sites and in society, look at black women in this way.

    The very small percent of white men that marry black women, is an exception and not the rule. The powers that be, want black people to think, we are getting more equal, simply because we are having sex with them.

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  170. @Thomas Conlon, yes, I too am no fan of sotomayer but when I watched the video it really struck a chord within my life. I am a black female, my daughters and most of my freinds are black females. I consider myself to be an observant somewhat intelligent person and I know whether it be admitted or not we as a people have been raised to think white man’s ice is colder adn white man’s sugar is sweeter than anybody elses. So a lot of black women that re still confused is super duper thrilled to have one iota of attention from a white man. Those same corny pick up lines that this white dude used the average black dude would be quickly kicked to the curb unless he is extremely handsond and or rich. Bottom line is after living under this system of racism/white supremacy for over 500 years we are seriously confused and this video is but a mirror of that confusion, just sayin……..

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  171. @Sondis, this video supposedly proves a lot of things, mainly the effects of racism/white supremacy in the area of SEX. It also illustrates a mental condition called the Stockholm Syndrome aka the Battered person Syndrome whereby an victim becomes the stauchest defender of their abusers, I think you get the drift, you sure cant go wrong when you start followin the logic instead of drinkin the koolaid !!!

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  172. C.Andrews:

    I agree that black people in America, suffer from Stockholm Syndrome.

    Black people worship white people in this country, its a philological condition like any other.

    Self education of oneself is the only, remedy for this condition.

    When you come to this realization as a black person in America, you are set free, so to speak of this mental condition.

    I, as a black man can admit, that we are sick as a people, living in a hostile environment with white people that hate us for 100’s of years, has taken its toll on our psyche.

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  173. Correction:

    ” its a psychological condition”

    Like


  174. @ c Andrews,

    so the video proves one black woman took a white guys number…??? okay…

    Like


  175. You left out one other ingredient that may remedy us victim’e condition- that is the study of racism/white supremacy , I mean to truly study every apect of this issue and HOW it affect us in all areas human activities then developing a code as outlined and suggested by Mr.NellyFuller. Once your eyes are open to the truth of our existence only then can we consructively move forward and start dismantling this unjust system. We can no longer krink their koolaid and fall for okey doke like their new agenda of promoting interacial dating(see cheerios new commercial) and same sex relations, anything that will weaken and lower our number…. They even got Abagond confused on the issue of interacial relationship so you can see the depth of their(racist aka white supremacist) effects on us victims, even the most intellectual of us…….

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  176. @Peanut, Lawdy have mercy on me ,Your statement makes me wanna holler an throw my hands up in the air to the white blue eyed jesus and I dont even go to church anymore lol !!! I sure do wish I could have my rose colored glasses back on so I can be in ignorant bliss like the vast majority of us victims. If that’s ALL you get from this video then it must be BECAUSE you fail to understand racism/white supremacy and HOW it affects us all nine area of human activites which includes Entertainment, Education, Economics,Law Labor, Politics, Religion, SEx and War If I missed an area please let me know…..

    Like


  177. I’an Afro Carribean woman who grew up in Canada and Europe. I came from a upper middle class neighborhood in Canada. My siblings and I did well, in school, got good jobs and were model teenagers. No drinking, no swearing, never touched drugs, family orientated, but I can safely say, we always got approached many times by dysfunctional White people for dating.They also didn’t want to work and expected us to support them. My experience wasn’t unique. I met many Black women in Canada who were married to white men who were happy to not work, some smoked drugs because they felt it was OK in our culture, they didn’t lift a finger in the house either while telling their Black wives how lucky they were to have a white man.

    As a result, my brother and sisters and didn’t date. When we got the chance, we moved to a more culturally mixed area where we got to meet more ethnic people that had no secret agenda.

    In Europe, I found that Black women dated Black, White and other races as people were more integrated without being use as cash cows or sex objects by any race. Many black men here also date White women very freely. You will see TV or ads with Bm/Ww without anyone batting an eyelid.

    The Black men here also come from countries where Black is the majority, like the Caribbean and Africa, so darker skinned Black women can get a date here or marry any race. Many Black men and White men here are used to natural hair, beautiful African features that is despised in America. There have been White royalty that have married Black women. I believe in Austria and Liechenstein, Princess Angela and Countess Von hasburg.

    So, I didn’t care for North American White men but here in Europe, it’s OK as they don’t have an agenda

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  178. C.Andrews, you got to be kidding, that is South Beach, Ocean Dr. ,some of the finest black women in America can be found in South Beach, and,women come from all over America and let their freak out in South Beach, they dress in bikinis they would never wear at home, all kinds of women will come up and talk to men, South Beach is differant from any place else in America…South Beach is fantastic !!

    You know,its really strange to me , the people who want to tell black men and women to not date white people..they bring in cliched thinking, talk aboiut 400 years of slavery, and you know, I absolutly think the legacy of slavery is extremly relevant in all the countries that brought slaves over from Africa , but, when it comes to dating or building relationships, it shouldnt be a factor, what should be a factor is if the white person indicates some kind of racist attitude…something everyone here is very in tune to

    But, what perplexes me is, the people that say no black people should date white people, are just eliminating a lot of incredible black people from their agenda….there are a lot of top leval black people who, if they arnt in a relationship with a white person, are keeping their options open and willing to date someone of any race if that person can show some good qualities and that they could care for the person dating them…they are isolating themselves off from people who could bring incredible recources to the table of the struggle…there is no black monolith of how to think on this…if not dating white people is what it takes for some people to get through a racist society, then more power to them, but,

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  179. (strange computor problems that dont let me finnins a post)

    but, they are seperating great people from their cause, a whole lot of great black people arnt going along with an agenda that sais they shouldnt date white people

    so feel fee to fight your struggle from where you are, ill be happy to fight the struggle from where I am, and, Im in great , really great company

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  180. This called SHOWCASING, allowing a so called elite small number of black people to succed in certain endeavors so that racism can no longer be used as in excuse for the shortcomings of the masses. most Europeans do not marry their black concubines, die to wanting to keep the lineage “pure”. Prince Albert of Manoco cones to mind and I am sure there are many others. If we study their tactics we will no longer be deceived by their “SHOWCASING” we will be able to see right thru it. I hope I live long enough to see this day come. Please remember that racism is GLOBAL…..

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  181. C.Andrews, you dont know enough interracial relationships to make the kinds of catagorising statements you do…its bogus…oh you got all these pshycho babble terms and examples, but, the real truth is, a lot of interracial relationships are going on between two people who care about each other, and, these isolated stereotypes that people keep refferring to are not the norm

    Do you have any divorce statistics of interracial couples? If things were even a fraction as bad as people are making them, interracial mairadges would have skyrocket numbers of divorces…

    its just cutting off a huge amount of black people from all walks of life , all backgrounds , who are keeping their options open and just wouldnt even think about entertatining the thought of simply not dating a race of people…they wouldnt buy into that agenda…they know racism, they hate it as much as anyone here, they fight it as hard as anyone here, but they wont buy into an agenda that sais they shouldnt date white people…

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  182. B. R, You be right about some of the issues you have raised but one issue is irrefutable all the mixing in the world has NOT put a dent in racism, not even a small microscopic pinhole. It has not helped the non white people at all on the whole…I could be wrong but I do not EVER remeber this huge media blitz promoting interacial relationship and from what I know of past situations COLLECTIVELY it does not mean us black victims a hill of beans. I got some more psychobabble bs for yer, write this down and google it- POPULATION TAILORING’ It aint nothing new , the Mistah Charlies been doing this for centuries, usually they rape the women of the non white countries they defeat and after a few generations they dont be as black anymore then depending on how they feel those people can now be classified as whit . They did this with the Irish, Italians and the JEWS to name a few but I guess that just be some psychbabble bs to you…….

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  183. SONDIS

    “TALK TO ME, YOUR BROTHER!! I’M RIGHT HERE!!!! <——

    I NEED MY SISTAS AND BROTHAS, THEY DON'T WANT OR NEED YOU, I NEED YOU!"

    ********

    !!!!!!!!!!

    Ding, ding, ding, ding, DING!

    Slip, duck, weave, bob — jab, jab, left cross, right hook! POW!!!

    The Ref raises Sondis' right arm in victory as he KNOCKS OUT his pale opponent with a devastating blow to the side of his head at the bell in the fight's final round. The contender didn't see what hit him!

    _______

    I hear you LOUD & CLEAR brother Sondis! Loud and clear. Some of us need each other!
    All of us need — something. Organization? I think so!

    We're NOT organized, and we should be. Else we're spinning our wheels going NOWHERE.

    But keep fighting the good fight, on as many fronts as possible, no matter what may or may not ….. And THANKS for saying the truth. You NEED us (and the inverse) we NEED you!

    That's the code.
    We'd be well if we stick to it!

    Like


  184. @Peanut
    I absolutely agree with you that the majority of Black women desire to be with Black men. Most people tend to date and marry someone from their same background so why would Black women be any different? If a Black woman states her preference for Black men, she is lying or narrowminded. At least that’s what people have told me. Just last night I was speaking with an older (sixtysomething) sister in Christ about how I prefer Black men from culture and that I don’t really find white men attractive. She told me that I had some racism/prejudice in my heart and that I needed to pray about it. I was completely taken aback. I never said anything about hating white men or wanting to take away their civil liberties, but she concluded that I was being “racist” towards them because I prefer Black men (which is what I am) and don’t want to date or marry a white man. SMDH.

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  185. This woman in Christ must have some confusion in her heart, first of all NO non white person of any gender can possibly be RACIST. Maybe prejudiced. We cannot be recist because we do not have any POWER whatsoever to have any kind of IMPACT on white lives. We blacks are in charge of NOTHING. We dont have the power to deny whites housing, how to spend they money , how to worship etc.,prjudce is a much better choice of words. We all have some prejudices, for exaple I prefer chocolat cake or vanilla cke bit I luv me some vanilla ice cream over all other flavors. Each one teach one . If you had known you could have gently corrected her. Believe me Mistah Charlie and Miss Becky KNOWS who the racist are – we be the ones confused….

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  186. Matari:

    Thanks for the acknowledgement.

    I just don’t understand, why the white people on this blog, that actually sympathize and agree that white supremacy is rampant in America, are always challenging and questioning us, therefore we as black people are always on the defensive.

    Why don’t these same white people, take it to the white racist blogs, instead of on this blog?

    Its white people they need to convince of their racist mindset, not black people as we already know.

    Its the same old white supremacy at work, even the white people that agree with everything we say on this blog, even they are guilty of participating in white supremacy, being they feel we need them to validate our revelation of racism.

    The fact that they are here and not on white racist blogs, saying the things they say on here, is a tell tale sign, that their agenda isn’t to bring what we are saying to light to other racist white people.

    Their agenda is a white-self serving at best, so they can feel good about themselves for being on a left wing, liberal blog site, sharing common cause with Negros and Negresses but benefiting from the same system, that oppresses and discriminates against us.

    I’m not going to bother to name those, who i am speaking of, they know who they are…..

    Like


  187. I’ve been checking out some of the posts and I’m left with a troubling thought

    Let me start by saying I understand the NEED on the part of many black females to be validated as DESIRABLE women

    given our 500 YEARS of systematic degradation in this system. All our lives we were (and still are) ridiculed for our hair, skin and bodies (even while white females risk their LIVES to have our skin, breasts, butts, and lips via surgery and suntanning)

    we’ve been told ALL OUR LIVES that we weren’t attractive, or desirable or marriage-worthy and unfortunately, some of our HARSHEST CRITICS have been the same (black) males we gave birth to, raised, loved, supported and educated

    all due the black males BRAIN-TRASHING under the system of white supremacy AND the FACT that the same imagery created by white male/female slave-owners to JUSTIFY the raping and oppression of black females has POISONED black male and female relationships to this day

    and so many black males STILL carry that image of the black female as “Jezebel” (a white man’s whore) after watching black female slaves being raped for over 400 years by a white male who called them “bitches” — NOW a common term for black females BY black people (!)

    (it is a lot deeper than that but it would be too long a post)

    I understand that after spending our young formative years as young black girls, then young ladies and now grown women, that the damage that has been done to our self-esteem has NEVER had a chance to heal.

    And that is compounded by the almost FANATICAL OBSESSION of many black males to have what the white man has — a white woman,

    or at the least anything (or anyone ) who doesn’t look “too black” (due to their OWN self-hatred issues)

    So the black female is told to just SUCK IT UP when she says she is hurt because of all the degradation and ridicule heaped upon her

    and so most of us suffer in silence OR take it out on OTHER black females — “She think she something!”

    I say all that to say — I UNDERSTAND why this dialogue is taking place AND why so many black females on this thread are trying to prove that “white men find me desirable” —

    because the white male is the BEARER AND CREATOR of the STANDARDS for female beauty in a white male dominated, white supremacy system

    That being said,

    what is most disturbing to me is that in the midst of dozens of black schools closing,

    pending legislation to “round up” 18,000 black male “gang-bangers” in Chicago and lock them up without charging them with a crime,

    and poor blacks in rural america are literally BEGGING to pick crops (out of economic desperation,

    all BYPRODUCTS of racism/white supremacy

    AND

    movies like “The Purge” that CLEARLY show a clear intention on the part of powerful white people to devastate large numbers of black people in America by creating films that bear a remarkable resemblance to

    a MODERN DAY “BIRTH OF A NATION”

    (check out the site http://www.newfoundersamerica.org/ — and you’ll see that this “movie” is more than just “entertainment” )

    and movies like “The Help” and “The Butler” showing a RETURN to the good ole days when blacks “knew our place”

    and in the midst of all this that we are bragging about dating white males OR any white people at all (who are more than likely racist)

    shows a distressing LACK of understanding of the gravity of our problems in this nation and an unwillingness to take them (or anything else) seriously.

    Like Dr. Kambon often says:

    “Black people are very serious about not being serious”

    If I have offended anyone, let me apologize in advance.

    And before there is any misunderstanding, I’m not saying the post should NOT have been created

    I’m talking about the “comfort” AKA the “soothing lotion” of white validation that is apparent by thinking (and trying to convince others AND ourselves)

    that white males find black females attractive

    with that, I’ll get out of the way and let the fun continue

    Like


  188. ha ha nobody nor nothing is gonna stop me dating black girls
    “more bounce to the ounce”

    Like


  189. yeah south beach a real fun place lol

    Like


  190. Peanut

    When Black people go to parties, we have alcohol and stuff, but that’s not the main focus of the event, we’re more into dancing and “club dancing,” and everything, it seems like at the white parties the main focus was getting drunk. I never understood that, perhaps it’s a cultural difference

    Catching up with today’s comments and saw this.

    Peanut, make it “International students” and you get the picture for us too. I was amazed at how “white” Americans were basically allowed to do whatever they wanted on campus, spent their time drinking (keg after keg), pissing all over the place, telling you they (fraternities and sororities) were the “elite” of the nation and had NO conversation (don’t know nothing about the world and things, anything) and DIDN’T know how to have fun (like dance and chat).

    After a while, basically all the International students ended up in international parties: it was difficult for all of us, no exception for African students, to interact and be invited to African-American parties too, but not for the reasons above. I don’t know what the reasons were. To me the campus looked pretty much segregated when I arrived (1988 in South Carolina) (it shocked me a lot)

    That is what I have been trying to explain all this time when I say that you can’t look at “race” as a “natural” determinant. It is definitely a social one.

    it must be really difficult sometimes for “mixed” couples to cope with all the antagonism…

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  191. ^^or a cultural determinant, as you pointed to Peanut.

    other people labelled as “white” do not have the same culture as “white” Americans. There American-born children do.

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  192. @ all the black females reading this post

    check out the post two posts before mine and read v8driver’s post

    “more bounce to the ounce”

    that’s how much they respect black females (and PLEASE, for your own sake, don’t LIE to yourself and tell yourself that this is a compliment!)

    All someone (like me) has to do is just prick and irritate the SURFACE of all this “white male admiration”

    and you will find a degrading SEXUAL STEREOTYPE lurking underneath

    that is remarkably similar to the types of things white males said about black females when it was considered A RITE OF PASSAGE starting with slavery

    for a white male to have sex with (rape) a black female to “become a man”

    this is what I mean by NOT understanding racism and how it functions

    and NOT understanding that sex between blacks and whites is a MAINSTAY of white supremacy and always HAS BEEN

    a white person having sex with a black person DOES NOT MEAN that white person is NOT a racist

    in fact, the most RACIST white people often SEEK sex with black people

    Now, READ that disrespectful comment “more bounce to the ounce’ again

    and then write the sentence below

    on the blackboard at least one hundred times:

    sex and racism go HAND in HAND

    sex and racism go HAND IN HAND

    sex and racism go HAND IN HAND

    Like


  193. @ sondis

    “Why don’t these same white people, take it to the white racist blogs, instead of on this blog?”—Not sure if this answers your question but I believe it is because they believe racism exist because of us. That we are the racist ones. I just have to treat them like I treat other delusional people. LOL

    Like


  194. @ Peanut

    “it seems like at the white parties the main focus was getting drunk. I never understood that”

    Same here!

    Like


  195. A@ Trojan Pam, You done said a mouthful !!!! i can not wrap my brain around any non white person that know and understan even the funamentals of slavery and oppression especially in the area of sex would advocate “There is nothing wrong with such relationships, but black women can go into them for the wrong reasons, like internalized racism. The Black Women’s Empowerment movement (BWE), for example, presents white men as saving black women from black men. That is internalized racism straight-up, all the way.” what the heck does this statement mean Abagond ?? i am clearly confused by your statement and nobody even asking you for clarification…..

    Like


  196. I agree 100% TrojanPam’s comment, and I would suggest that commenters check out the book “Pieces of A Puzzle” by Reneathia Tate. She interviews Black women and White men who have had sexual relations, and the different experiences of both groups were so telling.

    Whereas White men enjoyed going on sexual escapades with Black women,who they had ZERO intention of marrying or having children with, many Black women admitted to feeling used and being mistreated by White males they had sex with. In fact, Ms. Tate wanted to write about Black male and Black female sexual relationships but had to change her topic because so many White men commented to her ad in the newspaper.

    I also find it interesting that a lot of social scientists are so interested in hearing White people’s views on interracial marriage, but never their views on interracial sex. Some of the same people who wouldn’t dare marry Blacks will have sex with them (Thomas Jefferson, Strom Thurmond, etc.)

    Sex should be a form of bonding, communication, and intimacy between two people who are equal, never about manipulation and harm.

    Like


  197. So why all this fuss about black women being brain washed and self-hating and not loyal to the race when black men date out twice as much as they do?

    Wouldn’t that mean black men are at least twice as self-hating, brainwashed and betraying the race as black women?

    It seems strange that there is all this talk about getting black women to love themselves and stay loyal to the race but it hardly seems to come up inregards to black men dating out…..

    Actually; while yes racist people have sex with the people they are racist against, the hardcore racists don’t look at black people as sexual entities.

    I remember hearing about a slaver that was bemoaning the fact that he was still a virgin into his thirties, but if he had wanted to he could have forced himself on any of the slaves. He was just so racist it didn’t occur to him to think of them as people on any level, they were property to him and that was it.

    And of course; a lot of guys are sexist anyways, especially racist guys, so to them you being black is just another way of you being inferior to them, like you being a woman.

    As for why they don’t go to white power type blogs, probably because those guys in a lot of ways are just racist trolls, engaging them is exactly what they want.

    They thrive on the conflict. That and tend to be dumb asses who have an extremely hard time seeing anything from someone elses view, your serious racist tend to be incredibly biased that way…..though ironically enough in my experience seriously racist people are also more likely to agree that racism exists in the world, so yeah…..

    Like


  198. @ C. Andrews and Ms. J

    Also note that v8driver said , “…black GIRLS…”

    NOT black women or even females

    that may seem like a harmless word choice but keep in mind that white people often refer to black people –regardless of AGE — as black

    boys and girls

    and I remember a black woman who used to clean white people’s houses as a domestic back in the late 50s or 60s who talked about white males calling her a “girl” even though she was well past her 30s

    WORDS ARE IMPORTANT

    Like


  199. @ C. Andrews

    I think people from different races CAN have a healthy love relationship. It is possible. BUT, like anything else, you can do it for the wrong reasons. In this case the big danger is internalized racism – that you think too little of blacks and too much of whites. A black woman who is whitewashed or who puts down black men should NOT go with white men. She has issues that such a relationship would only make worse. Also, there is a good chance that she is not in love but is seeking (white) validation, at least, if not status, material wealth and so on. My opinion. Everyone has to do what they think is best for them.

    I do like what Sondis said. Black people need each other. They are in America ALONE. White people, 95% of them at least, are NOT their friends. And, like Trojan Pam said, the fact that a white man dates black women hardly means he is not racist. It is NOWHERE near that simple.

    Like


  200. @ V-4

    You are absolutely right about Black men. Many see no problem in stating their preferences for White – and other non-Black women – instead of Black women. But this is the cause of our oppression for over hundreds of years. I don’t think Black men and women would see Whites as the beauty standard if they hadn’t beat this into our heads generation after generation.

    For example, many Indian nations – like the Tolowa nation – had almost no instances of rape among their people until they came into contact with the Europeans (Derrick Jensen, The Culture of Make Believe). It’s clear that many of the thoughts, speaks, and actions that non-White people have are not natural and need to be changed for the betterment of the planet. Black love is a revolutionary act in times like these, so Black division is a win-win situation for White men and women.

    Strom Thurmond was one of the most hard-core segregationists in this country, but he had a child with a Black female. Thomas Jefferson also wrote that Blacks were inferior to Whites in his “Notes On The State of Virginia” book as one of our nation’s leaders, but he still had kids with his slave.
    I think we need to be very careful in assuming that Whites who do sleep with Blacks are not less racist than those who don’t. The White people who believe in White supremacy and practice racism against Non-Whites literally ROFL because it’s one of their deceptive tricks. I bet if Pochahontas could foresee what her marriage to John Smith would lead to, she would not have married that man.

    Like


  201. It seems strange that there is all this talk about getting black women to love themselves and stay loyal to the race but it hardly seems to come up inregards to black men dating out…..

    It gets called out, but i do understand your logic here. Abagond mentioned the BWE crowd and how internalized racism drives them to white men, but he has never said anything about the BWE’s male counterparts called BMV (Black Men Vent) who are all over the place talking about how white women are “better” than Black women..

    Like


  202. So to summarize the viewpoint on black/white relationships:

    White men see black women as sexual objects.

    Black men see white women as trophies.

    I’ve seen talk on here about black women viewing white men as a type of validation in a kind of round about way. I don’t think it has been stated explicitly.

    But I don’t recall talk of white women viewing black men as sexual objects. Black men are the most sexualized of males.

    If this is true, why isn’t it mentioned? Why is there no push to convince black men that white women only see them as sexual objects?

    Gender dynamics I guess.

    Like


  203. Satanforce did however write a post exposing the bulls**t racist and sexist lies told by both groups (BWE &BMV)…

    http://satanforce.wordpress.com/2012/06/07/black-men-vent-and-bitch-and-moan/

    and

    http://satanforce.wordpress.com/2012/07/09/black-womens-empowerment-an-faq/

    Although he sometimes confuses me with his commentary on the subject (especially on another self-described BMV blog Laurelton Queens)

    Like


  204. @ Solesearch

    I think one reason for this could be that many people – both Black and White – tend to empathize with the White female. She’s the victim of sexism and White men who historically barred her from having sex with Black men (while nothing is said about Black women’s rights against White male abuse).

    So yes, I think gender dynamics are at play, and is something that can’t be ignored. White women have been the main beneficiaries of Affirmative Action, are often the primary caretakers of White male and female children, and have much power in the workplace. Racism cannot exist with her cooperation with the White male, so she should also be called out about her objectification of Black men.

    Great comment!

    Like


  205. Gender dynamics I guess.

    @Solesearch,

    To answer your question, i think in large part it is because in the Black communities of the world, the talk and analysis of racism is traditionally focused on white male racism…

    Very few programs and documentaries solely focus on the racism experienced by both Black men and women BY white females…it is as if after years and years of lynching Blacks because of white females, they (white females) suddenly became non racist..

    MANY Black men that i know personally believe that white females are less racist than white men even though they prefer to date exclusively in the Black community…

    Because to talk about white female racism is taboo and makes Black women look “jealous” and “psychotic” and “overly sensitive”, many of us have allowed white females the privilege to come into our private spaces and cause insurmountable discord, disharmony and confusion…

    Like


  206. @ Solesearch

    I tried to explain the NEED behind the white validation of white males TO black females

    I agree that white females view black males as sexual objects.

    What is the most common stereotype about black males (other than being criminally-inclined?

    big, black studs with big black penises

    here’s an excerpt from an article

    ——————

    “A White Woman Explains Why She Prefers Black Men”

    http://nypress.com/a-white-woman-explains-why-she-prefers-black-men/

    “…white women and black men who choose one another because of our racial differences. They resent our taking their men. Black men are two and a half times more likely to marry a white woman than a black woman is to marry a white man.

    Black women can point to that statistic in justifying their wrath. But in truth, black sisters, we’re after the sex, not the ring and these guys aren’t the marrying kind anyway.”

    The woman who goes after black men is a variant of sex journalist Susie Bright’s “white b*tch in heat,” a woman who puts sex first even though women aren’t supposed to do that.

    According to one school of thought, white women turn to black men when their sex drives kick into higher gear and their social inhibitions recede into the rear view mirror. It’s a “yes, baby, now I’m ready for you” reaction.”

    —————————-

    unfortunately, far too many black males think it is a compliment to be a sex object of white females, forgetting that MOST aren’t interested in marrying a black male (too much evidence that supports this)

    and when it comes to maintaiining white supremacy, their “sex drive” doesn’t stop them from clutching their purses in an elevator with a black male wearing a business suit,

    or stops them from convicting a black male with no evidence as SHE sits on the jury

    or stops them from ACQUITTING four white policeman who just pumped 60 bullets into the body of an unarmed AND deceased black male

    or stops them from NOT hiring OR promoting black males as more and more white females move up the corporate ladder — which, by the way white females are occupying more and more positions of power WITH the POWER to hire and fire and promote BLACK MALES

    but they aren’t doing that

    they’re just lurking around black nightclubs, and bars, and even parks and forest preserves to get some of that “yes, baby, now I’m ready for you” ACTION

    which leads me to ask this question —

    when it comes to seeking and defending sex with white people

    what the H are black people thinking?

    Like


  207. @ c Andrews,

    I understand and agree that there is A LOT of self-hate in the Black community. From the day we’re born, we are subconsciously told that Black si inferior and I ABSOLUTE AGREE THAT MANY interracial relationships, probably more than people will acknowledge, have been influenced to a degree by internalized racism on the part of the Black person and white supremacy on the part of the white person, I agree with that.

    For example, people who ONLY date white people to me are internalized racists.
    For example, I know of a Black man who exclusively dates white women, he will date a white women and mind you has been divorced twice both from white women and will lower his standards for white women, but will not consider a Black woman even if she’s “top-notch,” so to speak. Also many of the white women he messes with hate Black women. To me THAT is a sign of internalized racism and that is why he’s been divorced from every white woman that he’s married because he got into the relationships for the wrong reasons..

    so anytime a person excludes their own race in a white supremacist culture, then that is a RED FLAG. I steer clear of those people.

    however, there are SOME interracial relationships that are genuine and healthy. I think the most important thing is to instill pride into our culture and teach each other to value who we are as Black people and teach people about white supremacy and how it is wrong. Teach each other to see the beauty in our features and to learn about our cultures…if we do that then people will gravitate more towards their own culture on their own…but if you browbeat or harass people in interracial relationships or come up with conspiracy theories about why it’s wrong, all it’s going to do is lead to rebellion…and people will just continue to marry/date out for the wrong reasons…

    btu if you teach people to love and respect Black people and to treat everyone equally, then naturally they will reject white supremacy and that would translate into dating/marriage.

    but mind you, there will ALWAYS be a small percentage of people who are going to date nad marry other races, it’s natural for that to happen. But if you do what I described earlier then more than likely the percentage of people who do date out will have done it for genuine reasons instead of self hate.

    Like


  208. If I had to guess a couple reasons for why it gets focused on black women so often more than black men is this.

    Dating out gives black men more options in life, options they don’t want black women to have….why?

    Because; in their own way, black men may also be using the racial ladder to boost their own ability to get women.

    If BW are relegated to just one segment of the population, instead of the other 87% than they kind of have to accept what they get.

    And BM want to keep ahold of their property, black men dating out doesn’t threaten their resources (ability to get women) but black women dating out does.

    So basically; they don’t want BW to expand their potential dates so they don’t have to try as hard to get women and they don’t want “their” women dating someone else.

    Kind of how racist white guys can date out of the race but then will get in an uproar when white women do it.

    It has to do more with sexism and maintaining control more than loyalty to race.

    Like


  209. ALSO

    the statement

    “According to one school of thought, white women turn to black men when their sex drives kick into higher gear and their social inhibitions recede into the rear view mirror. It’s a “yes, baby, now I’m ready for you” reaction.”

    I have tried to make COUNTLESS black males understand that one of the MAJOR appeals of black males TO white females is they CAN drop all their “inhibitions”

    in other words, they can let it all hang out and have sex on the first date, at first site or even at the drop of the hat OR panties

    why?

    Because a black male CANNOT damage a white female’s reputation. She KNOWS your word OR opinions about her CARRY NO WEIGHT and therefore she doesn’t CARE what you think after the action is over

    Whereas with white males, she’s a little more circumspect, a little more wary about her “reputation” because if white males start calling her a tramp her reputation AMONG HER WHITE PEERS can cause her harm as in attracting a mate, or a good job, or affect her standing within that white community

    SHE CARES WHAT OTHER (WHITE) PEOPLE THINK

    she does NOT care what black males (or females) think

    that’s why the white female is FREER to “hang out” with black people because our CASTE ranks below hers AND she knows we will cater to her and make her “feel at home”

    and if black males are honest, they have seen this dynamic with white females being FREER and LOOSER around black males than with white males

    so, it is NO COMPLIMENT at all to black males

    in fact, it’s highly insulting to know YOU are CATERING to a suspected RACIST who thinks you are beneath her racially AND socially

    Just remember that one line in that white female’s article:

    ” But in truth, black sisters, we’re after the sex, not the ring and these guys aren’t the marrying kind anyway.””

    that’s why I keep emphasizing that SEX and RACISM often go hand in hand

    and our LACK of understanding usually puts us on the LOSING END, winding up more confused and in search of MORE white validation

    Like


  210. Another aspect of sexism might be this; they might view sex as “using/degrading the women”….therefore its not a problem when they have sex out of the race.

    Like


  211. @ Peanut,

    You make very interesting points. I’ll say that when I learned more about racism/white supremacy, White males were less attractive to me. Mind you, I was literally enamored with White male celebrities, wanted to have some mixed babies, and fantasized about having a multiracial family of my own. But something inside of me always felt that something was wrong with interracial relationships in this racist culture even when I had those thoughts.

    So people can definitely change if they choose to. But being honest with oneself about the condition you’re in will almost force you to change. That’s why even Whites flee from conversations about race. If they own up to what they do in plain sight, it’s going to clear to the whole world that they’re the problem and will have to stop on this race nonsense.

    I think Black people can do the world a great service by doing so too; let’s make that the prime focus of black culture: self love, self respect, and the revelation of truth no matter where we are or who we’re around.

    Like


  212. @ Trojan Pam
    great comments keep em coming. And also its weird how they called black men and women boys and girls, but when its a young black person killed even when they are underage they call them a man or woman and make it like they are a grown person, look how they did trayvon martin, calling him a man and saying look how big he was. But if its a white person that is In their 20’s that has done something they still call them a kid and say oh they didn’t know any better.

    @ Solesearch

    “If this is true, why isn’t it mentioned? Why is there no push to convince black men that white women only see them as sexual objects?”

    Black women have been telling black men that they are viewed as sex objects and vice versa, but we sometimes don’t listen to each other until something happens. During jim crow one of the rules was that u couldn’t talk about a white woman, so this is probably why ppl stray from that issue. Also women pick up on sexism better than men it seems, the only time men pick up on it is when its directed at a female or a female relative, they hardly recognize it when its directed at them. Just look how a man will act if another man hugs his girl and he will be lookin like wtf, but if its another woman that does that to him he sees it as being friendly.

    Like


  213. @ peanut

    Yea a lot of it is internalized racism. Just look at how some black men will date every race of woman except a black woman and say things like black women have attitude and that is why i’m not with them. BUt when their non black wife or girlfriend does something to them and has attitude with them they dismiss it and say she is being feisty. Perfect example is ochostinko, he thought having evelyn would be better than a black woman and put her on a pedestal and see what happened, He has a domestic violence charge but I bet he won’t stereotype all Latinas as being that way, no he will dismiss it as an isolated incident. But when they are with a black woman and she does something like that they will say fk it i’m done with black women they all crazy.
    I stay away from those self hating coons.

    Like


  214. @ mstoogood4yall

    that’s an interesting point,

    we’re ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ except when we are accused of a crime and even a 12 year old black BOY might be charged and tried as an “adult’

    never thought about it that way before

    Like


  215. @ Peanut

    Right, I would say the MAIN reason some black people seek or want white partners is that white validation, that white person saying,

    “Yes, I am human. I must be human and worthwhile if a white person wants me.”

    and I have seen the same thing, a black male (famous or not) will marry one white female after another but will never stereotype white females but will say,

    “they’re individuals, I can’t judge all white females by the one or two or three or ten I didn’t get along with” lol

    Also, someone asked about the white/black divorce rate, when I was doing research for one of my books I discovered that the black male/white female divorce rate was higher than

    white male/white female
    black female/black male
    black female/white male

    I suspect it’s because a lot of black male/white females get married at a younger age than black female/white male AND at some point the white female gets tired of being in an “interracial marriage” OR dealing with the handicaps of a black male (in a white society) once the “rebellion” and the thrill of “you and me against the world, black man” wears off

    I have actually heard this reason for a break-up — once from a black male who was married to one, and the other from the black father of a black male whose white female wife said, he didn’t make enough money although both were college graduates)

    And I suspect that eventually some black males chafe under the domination of the more powerful white female and conflict ensues

    whereas the black females I know personally who are married to white males seem more able to accept and even welcome his more powerful position as a white male in a white-male dominated society

    and feel more secure, safer, and after all, ALL black people are used to white males dominating us so maybe, the black female has an easier time dealing with being more submissive to him

    just my two cents

    Like


  216. @Trojan Pam,

    Another side of the black male/white female higher divorce i think is because Black men begin to realize that his “loving” white wife is in fact racist and has no intention of raising his Brown children to understand Blackness or value it..

    Mother is the first teacher of a child, the nurturer and the passer on of culture–white women are ONLY going to impart white values, ideas and mannerism on to her brown children–i think many Black men will become disillusioned with this…

    Like


  217. Anybody else notice how some ppl will have the bar set high when they date within their race and have certain standards that need to be met but when they date a white person they lower their standards? For instance, some black ppl will say I want someone who is educated, fit, can cook, clean, and is family oriented, but then when some of them date a white person they can’t do half of those things . I look at it as 2 things, either they are color struck as hell, or 2 they feel like oh I expect better from my own race but a white person I will lower it for because they probably can’t do that so they baby them. Reminds me of that episode of everybody hates chris where he had a black teacher that expected him to do better and failed him when he got a decent grade, while not caring what the white students did and passing them.

    Like


  218. Oh baby…now we’re cookin with Pam! not crisco oil but Pam, TrojanPam to be exact! ^_^

    mstoogood4yall, i see you sista…i got my eye on you girl, my good eye at that! ;)

    Peanut, you should open a black college, the way you schoolin’ a brotha!

    @ : o O ) >

    The sistas is taken ova yo blog, abagond!!!!! @ : o D ) >

    The Black women empowerment, THE SEQUAL!!!!

    *sticks afro pick in hair and raises fist in air…..

    Like


  219. Another aspect to take into the divorce rates is this; say what you will about black women they shoot from the hip.

    White women, especially the southern variety put a lot more emotional and social manipulation into how they interact with you.

    And if you go into that thinking white women are some kind of pure, innocent angels who you can push around and dominate with no problem, than you go into that totally unprepared just for the kind of havoc, duplicitnous and conflict a white women can bring out.

    Like


  220. ^Continued from above…

    Also, Black women age slower than white women. Dermatologist have concluded that white women look on average a decade older than Black women of the same age. A white woman will usually (not in all cases) begin to look older than the Black man she is with even though they could be the same age…

    I know several Black men who were once married to white women and have divorced and are now married to younger Black women…

    Like


  221. @ sondis

    i confess, I have always had a HUGE CRUSH on these two FINE black brothers who had the courage to make a statement and risk their careers by raising their fists at the Olympics.

    (( heart beating, pulse racing ))

    Like


  222. @ phoebeprunelle

    I have heard from many black males who have had children with white females that they often turn their children against them and want to raise them as white — an impossibility unless that child can PASS for white

    of course, I’m not saying the black men are always blameless OR that the white female is always the villiain but I know black males who say this has happened to them or to a male relative

    You’re right, the MOTHER is the values transferer to the child and the child is usually more loyal to the mother’s side which makes it especially problematic when a white female is left to raise a child who will be classified as “black” but who identifies are “white”

    nothing but a HUGE MESS in the making

    Like


  223. TrojanPam:

    There was no risk, they KNEW their careers would be over.

    I’m sure they thought about it and came to the conclusion that their careers were not as important as their black people.

    what a sacrifice!! They did suffer as they were immediately banned from the games, couldn’t find employment and received all kinds of hate mail and death threats from racist white people.

    The thing is this, they were subject to all those things, even BEFORE THE ACT OF THE SALUTE!

    Think about that for a second, Pammy :)

    Like


  224. @ sondis

    come to think of it, where are the brothers? have they gone into hiding?

    or have they left the building due to a lack of interest?

    Like


  225. @ Trojan pam
    I also think the higher divorce rates between bm/ww is because white women are used to being taken care of and having a man make more or very close to how much she makes. it seems white men and Asian men are the only ones who can out earn a white woman and some women don’t like being the breadwinners and look at their man as being emasculated when he isn’t. And a lot of them get married young and are naïve and think I can deal with all the stares, comments, and racism, only to realize they were wrong.

    @ phoebeprunelle

    Obama and tiger woods comes to mind when talking about non black women raising them and taking on the ideas and thinking of their mothers race. And distancing themselves from their black side. Yea I see a lot of black men on youtube saying that is the main reason they won’t marry white women.

    Like


  226. @ sondis

    Rofl don’t have ur one good eye pop outta your head. Anyway that vid of those strong brothas putting their fist in the air was amazing,I wonder what they woulda did if they won. dam what happened to borhas and sistahs like this. we need to get back to the black power movement lol. Say it loud i’m black and i’m proud. *fluffs imaginary afro*

    Like


  227. Trojan pam,

    I do not know if you were referring to my comments where I posted about the drunken white frat guy or not.

    But I wanted abagond to delete them and changed my mind because I did not want people to misconstrue my comments. I was not trying tog et white male validation, I was simply stating a fact.

    I was simply letting abagond and the other men on here know what some Black women have experienced with white men. I agree that social/racist issues render some Black women invisible, outwardly, but it is more complex than people realize.

    Like


  228. @ Peanut

    understood

    Like


  229. mstoogood4yall:

    Its all good, my one good eye is all good!

    TrojanPam:

    Check this documentary out about the salute:

    Like


  230. @ sondis

    who said, “They did suffer as they were immediately banned from the games, couldn’t find employment and received all kinds of hate mail and death threats from racist white people.

    The thing is this, they were subject to all those things, even BEFORE THE ACT OF THE SALUTE!”

    That’s a great point. it’s not like they were treated correctly before the salute.

    (I still have a huge crush on them)

    Like


  231. @ sondis

    thanks for the video, will check it out

    Like


  232. @ mstoogood4yall

    who said, “And a lot of them get married young and are naïve and think I can deal with all the stares, comments, and racism, only to realize they were wrong.”

    I believe that is one reason so many marriages and relationships between blacks and whites break up

    white people get tired of carrying around all that black “baggage”

    Like


  233. this is a good facebook page all about interracial relationships gone bad. {https://www.facebook.com/tragicarrangements}

    Like


  234. Yes, you are so correct. I have noticed that black children as young a 8 or 9 yrs are often referred to as men and women when a crime has been commited whether they be the victim or not. I have often wondered why. I do not mean girls being referred to as young ladies, they are refeered to as women- not ladies at all, sme with our boys, I understand my mother used to call my sons young men as a term of endearment but these are no terms of endearment by Mistah Charlies. They aim to take our children’s childhood away and see them as grown and fresh…. on the opposite end of the spectrum they call our seniors as old as 80 or 90 yrs old girls and boys !!! Racism is deep …..

    Like


  235. Yeah a lot of white ppl can’t stand to be in our shoes, I remember that experiment on oprah where they had the blue eyed ppl getting mistreated and even when they told them it was an experiment they walked out and were mad. More proof that they can not deal with what we have to go through or would be going crazy

    Like


  236. Proximity Breeds Contempt.

    All I can say is that if black American women want to date and marry other “races” without guilt, stigma, or negative feedback….then leave US of America

    European men date and marry black women with no fear because they don’t have the social stigma and hang-ups like white American men — they are not cowards (like white American men) who have to wait to get “buzzed” or be alone with no prying eyes, before they approach black women….

    Interracial dating / marriage is not a “cure” for racism…everyone has their racial hang-ups, depending on what country you’re from.

    every country has some sort of issue — whether its dealing with people marrying outside of their ethnic groups, religion, class or race — we’ve all been indoctrinated by our environment / culture.

    For those of us who have lived in America and in other Countries, the difference in Attitudes towards interracial dating is very sharp and obvious.

    even though there is obvious racism in UK & Europe, as bad as the Europeans can be, I’ve never seen them go in deep with the same nasty, vitriolic attitude that comes from Americans… and both black and white American society are guilty of keeping the sh’t going… it’s not just one-sided.

    America’s mantra is to “separate” everyone into categories/ boxes; whereas in other country(s) the mantra is to “blend” but push the African or non-white side into the closet… so no, there are no “bed of roses” anywhere for African-descended or minority people.

    but who wants to deal with society and stigma when you’re just trying to find someone to love or be with.

    Like


  237. We need to choose our WORDS more carefully, there is NO way that a non white person can be racist under this current system of white supremacy . We are in charge of NOTHING and have NO power to do and or enact laws that affect white people collectively. Not only is this true in America but it is TRUE gLOBALLY. We need to stop spreading these untruths that blacks and other non white can be reacist, prejudiced- YES, Racist- NO WAY …. sorry Peanut but you still be a little confused on RACISM, what it is and how it affects us but you are in large number of other confused victims too…… I still be learning myself so when you know better you do better….

    Like


  238. Under the cURRENT system of white Supremacy that is GLOBAL interracial relationships are akin to child abuse because whites and non whites are not on equal footing in society. A good example would be the warden having sex and falling in love with a prisoner in jail. That is wrong because the warden has the upper hand. Another example is a doctor carrying on an affair with his patient and a student haveing sex with a teacher even in college when the student may be of age. When rasicm is eliminated then people should be able mix and sex whomever they wish, everone will be on equal footing. I’m just saying………Until that TIME it is not right

    Like


  239. “C.Andrews,
    We are in charge of NOTHING and have NO power to do and or enact laws that affect white people collectively. Not only is this true in America but it is TRUE gLOBALLY.

    Under the cURRENT system of white Supremacy that is GLOBAL interracial relationships are akin to child abuse because whites and non whites are not on equal footing in society”

    Linda says,

    Bold-Faced lie! and utter Bullsh’t!

    You need to move to a black majority country, where you will find confident black people who are in control of their country and governments….then maybe you can start shrugging off your “shackles” and realize that America is not the world.

    if you are black American….PLEASE only speak for yourself and your black American countrymen….do not speak for the rest of the black/brown people in the world because you CANNOT speak for us….our ancestors might have ridden the same ships but our destinies took different paths.

    Our ancestors fought wars and shed white blood so that black people could be physically free from white domination

    It will be a cold-day in H’ll for any black person from the Haiti, Jamaica, Any black/brown majority Caribbean country or Africa to act or say that white people are Better than us or have control over us

    our governments might be making bad choices and policies but the decisions are still being made by them – black people.

    Like


  240. @ Linda

    We’ll just have to agree to disagree

    White supremacy is a GLOBAL SYSTEM of WHITE DOMINATION, and that includes Haiti, which has been punished by white supremacists since they ejected Europeans from Haiti — which is one reason it is such a poor country AND why it was literally under siege after the earthquake by white people.

    That also includes Jamaica, the Caribbean nations, much of Africa, Japan, Iraq, Mexico, Canada, North America, Latin America, South Africa, much of the so-called Middle East, etc.

    is under white domination

    It is sometimes difficult for non-white people to accept, that white domination is RULING this planet, but unfortunately, it’s true — in my opinion and the evidence supports this

    because no matter where you go non-white and black people are being dominated by white people, and white standards of beauty and white media entertainment

    AND no matter where you go, non-white and black people are being mistreated.

    Racism is NOT a U.S. import or export, It is a worldwide infection.

    again, we can agree to disagree

    Like


  241. True; even in the US there are black politicians, black principals and business leaders, aren’t a few of the billionaires who own wal-mart african-americans?

    Especially in areas where its an black majority.

    To say black people have no power is pretty much what I was talking about in the white paternalism thread when people say black people are helpless and can’t do anything on this blog.

    I would call it racism against black people except it seems to be black people thinking it.

    Hell as a group black people in america have more wealth and influence than nations in europe.

    At the very least; culturally african-americans have been one of the largest driving forces there is.

    Like


  242. And I can testify myself to all the anti-Blackness I’ve witnessed – and was even subject to – in my Caribbean family. Countless relatives have been shocked that I’m so dark-skinned while others have said they’re not pretty enough because they don’t have straight noses. But despite the mistreatment my relatives faced from my WHITE great-grandmother, her whiteness is fascinating to many of my family members.

    Even if a country has predominantly Black people, many still have problems with being Black and would rather embrace Whiteness.

    Like


  243. Black people globally have been affected by European/western ideology for sure, and the current global Free markets are run by white people (even though non-white countries like India and China are changing the game)

    but on a national scale, black majority countries are running their own show and these countries have white minorities that live there and are affected by laws and rules made by black people…. They either assimilate or they leave.

    The Haitians invaded and freed the slaves in Dominican Republic and ruled the Dominican Republic for a time…Haiti became the world’s first independent black republic and the second independent nation in the Western Hemisphere

    maybe for some people that doesn’t count because now they are a poor country or are you only concerned about black minorities making rules and laws for white majority populations?

    Haiti’s current white minority:

    Like


  244. TrojanPam,

    Yes, we will have to agree to disagree because my experience has been hella different than yours…. I was raised to believe that black people can do anything and that no white person is better than me…

    I only hear black Americans speak as though they are dominated by white People and can’t do any better because of x,y, and z.

    What you speak about is internalized white/European concepts of beauty.. I agree, colourism affects us all…

    that is a far cry from saying that black people globally feeling as though they are second-class and second best and not equal to whites…that, to me, is a black American hang-up and

    until you have lived a black majority country, you CANNOT speak for black non-Americans.

    Like


  245. @ V-4

    Having a “powerful” position or title does NOT equate to being “powerful”

    EVERY black politician, principal, business “leader” and even billionaire is ACCOUNTABLE to a more powerful white person.

    including our first black president Obama who is NOT in charge, but in fact, is UNDER the control of the powerful white people who EDUCATED, VETTED, NOMINATED, AND FINANCED HIM

    Which makes THEM his BOSSES

    Like


  246. @ Linda

    if you go all over the world you will see the SAME DYNAMIC of RACISM against non-white people by white people

    sorry, racism is NOT a black American hangup

    but we can agree to disagree

    Like


  247. TrojanPam:

    That would be, Congress. :)

    Like


  248. TrojanPam:

    I agree that, racism is not a black American hangup, its the same all over the world.

    Like


  249. Obama is in charge as much as any single person can be in charge, the argument your using could be applied to power and authority in general, making it so no one as has any power or authority which is clearly not accurate.

    It still shows that there are indeed powerful and influential black people and other PoC in the US.

    Its a fact of life, black americans have wealth, economic and political influence that the majority of the world lacks in comaprison.

    Like


  250. @ sondis

    from Australia, to New Zealand, to South AFRICA ( a black majority country) where black South Africans RIOTED against slave wages working MINES owned by WHITE PEOPLE

    Like


  251. Once again, bullsh’t… I have been around the world, I have lived on 3 continents ..

    You will not see the same Dynamic of racism everywhere you go … it manifests itself differently in different countries.

    I am not rolling with this low self-esteem BS about black people being weak and not able to make an impact in the world.

    Like


  252. Linda:

    wrong once again….going for a 3rd time, being wrong?

    Like


  253. @ V-4

    If you understand how POWER is gained, we know that NO ONE GIVES UP POWER VOLUNTARILY — and for anyone to believe that Obama was given POWER by the SAME WHITE POWERFUL PEOPLE that PUT him in power,

    that is not LOGICAL

    To think that he is SUDDENLY the BOSS of the SAME POWERFUL WHITE PEOPLE who EDUCATED HIM, VETTED HIM, NOMINATED HIM, and FINANCED HIM

    and now they are TAKING their marching orders from him is NOT LOGICAL

    That is NOT the real world

    and the PROOF that he does NOT have real power is the LEVEL of DISRESPECT he gets from white people LESS Powerful than he is,

    like the Federal judge who said Obama’s mother had sex with a dog and that judge wasn’t punished

    or the Governor of Arizona, Jan Brewer who wagged her finger in his face in full view of TV Cameras and President Obama just stood there and smiled

    and that FACT that he had to APOLOGIZE to a lowly white male civil servant COP after saying the police behaved “stupidly” for arresting Harvard professor Gates in his own home

    speaks VOLUMES as to what REAL POWER looks like

    and it DOESN’T look like that

    Powerful people GET RESPECT because they are feared by those who are LESS POWERFUL – point blank PERIOD

    there is NO way Cheney or Geo Bush would allow a federal judge to say their mothers had sex with dogs and that judge would still be sitting on the bench the next day

    I know black people want to believe so badly in this “first black” situation that frankly, has done a D thing for black people

    being racial progress but it is time to take off the blinders and PUT ON THE THINKING CAPS

    No ONE in POWER hands over power to a less powerful person

    NO ONE

    Like


  254. and how am I wrong Sondis? Neither you or TPam have said anything to prove me wrong.

    you can sit up and say anything want but neither of you have given a Concrete example of how racism in a foreign black or white majority country is EXACTLY the same as racism in America.

    Prove to me that this low-self esteem, black mentality that black people are weak is Global and not just a black American hang-up.

    Like


  255. @ Linda

    you can say BS until the COWS come home but that won’t change a thing, including the reality of a global white supremacy system

    acknowledging TRUTH has nothing to do with “low self-esteem”

    IN FACT, telling ourselves the TRUTH is a sign of “high self-esteem”

    or at least an attempt to build some

    to lie to ourselves is the highest form of SELF-DISRESPECT

    and while you disagree, the OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE of white people controlling the majority of black and non-white nations is evident to those who understand the dynamics of what they are looking at

    have a good night

    Like


  256. Linda:

    TrojanPam just laid it all out, you just refuse to believe it. So just leave it alone and move on…the world isn’t going to come to an end, just because you don’t agree with US.

    I can care less if you agree or not. you seem to care, very much that we disagree with you.

    Like


  257. and Sondis, if TPam said that “sh’t smells like perfume” you would agree…

    you still haven’t told me anything but you are attempting to tell me about myself… which you can keep to yourself.

    Like


  258. “TrojanPam
    to lie to ourselves is the highest form of SELF-DISRESPECT”

    Linda says,

    I totally agree with this statement but your take on world views of “blackness” and how racism relates to “all black” people is not universal.

    all you have done is repeatedly state that there is “global white supremacy” which I would say, “yes, of the free market and financial system” but it seems to me that this brush is being applied too liberally

    black Americans are not “nations” and you can’t compare the black American experience with black countries who are operating and dealing with white supremacy in the international arena… apples and oranges.

    Like


  259. Linda:

    “Sondis, if TPam said that “sh’t smells like perfume” you would agree… ”

    I would expect for someone like you, to say something so classless.

    You’re cussing and swearing at me and TrojanPam, i guess this is what happens, when you reveal the truth, some people just can’t maintain, their composure.

    “you are attempting to tell me about myself… which you can keep to yourself.”

    How am i telling you about yourself?

    I simply disagreed what you, how is that, telling you about yourself?

    Taking things personal, during a debate is a sign of weakness.

    Like


  260. @ Linda

    it is too late to debate any further but let me be clear

    I NEVER said black people in America had the same experiences as blacks outside america

    THAT was your comparison

    what I said was the GLOBAL SYSTEM OF WHITE SUPREMACY functions the same way all over the world

    black people are mistreated in Europe, in the UK, in Russia, in Sweden, in Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Jamaica, etc. ANYWHERE white people are present — and in many cases the BRAIN-TRASHING of blacks by white supremacy has resulted in many blacks mistreating other blacks simply for being black

    I don’t know where you’ve traveled, but my money says you’ve experienced this ‘mistreatment’ where you were treated at least some or part of the time differently than white people

    and if you disagree, so be it

    have a good nite

    Like


  261. Where did I swear at you Sondis? I was’t trying to me “right” — I was stating my views.

    You can call me “classless” or “weak” all day — could care less but you came to me first with your facety-ness

    “Sondis@ wrong once again….going for a 3rd time, being wrong?”

    was that sentence called for? You were not trying to have a discussion or debate with me, Sondis …. because that sentence was how you first engaged me.

    Like


  262. V-4,

    “I would call it racism against black people except it seems to be black people thinking it.”

    Black people are often racist against black people. That statement is definitely racist.

    Also, I agree with your statement on why black men say nothing about their sexual objectification by white women.

    Unless black men reject sexism, I don’t know if black men and black women can truly be allies.

    You, phoebe, msgood, and Pam broke the situation down quite well.

    Like


  263. “TrojanPam,
    black people are mistreated in Europe, in the UK, in Russia, in Sweden, in Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Jamaica, etc. ANYWHERE white people are present — and in many cases the BRAIN-TRASHING of blacks by white supremacy has resulted in many blacks mistreating other blacks simply for being black”

    Linda says,

    I do hear what you are saying, TPam…. which is that the lasting legacy of white Supremacy still affects black people globally because black/brown people still retain and are indoctrinated by the white/European ideology… I agree with that — most non-white people who were in contact with whites/Europeans escaped that legacy

    but you are speaking of “internalized racism” by black people and comparing it to active racism that is being practiced by white people in white majority countries to me, are 2 different animals…. there are no white people in Jamaica with the power to disenfranchise black people in Jamaica.

    and yes, I have dealt with prejudice in UK and Europe but once again, different animal than in US…

    My statements were in response to C.Andrews statement about black people “globally” being weak, without power and no agency to make decisions for ourselves or decisions that impact white people.

    Like


  264. TrojanPam, not one black woman I have ever had a relationship with has ever done it to be validated by a white man…this is the Freud/Fannon/Femininst activist rheteroic you are buying into…basicly a western concept…psycho analysis…Ill say it again, not one black woman Ive been with or been around ever went with white men for validation

    Wow go back in history and analise relationships going down today by those standards…you are only talking about certain kinds of people..again, those concepts dont aply to even half of interracial relationships..

    Again, Ill fully agree the legacy of slavery is carrying over into today, seeping into institutions and especialy relfected in media, something owned by a few people, a few people sit and make the desicians that go out to all of us…it isnt reality ..you bring in one interview from a white woman as though that is the norm….

    but , people getting together is a one on one personal desician and everyone brings what they have personaly to the table . Sure there are plenty of prejudice white men that bring their prejudice to the table, but, everyone will reveal who they are and people have to be perceptive to pick up the signs…yes, be perceptive…and I never said interracial relationships cure racism, I would never say that, but, I say if people psyche themselves out by pulling out the Freud/FannonFeminist activisim part that hates men, and , superimpose past mentalities as though they play out full force today, they are digging their own hole to lie in…and, hey, by all means, Im not telling you to change your mind, feel free to think anyway you want, just dont think you speak for all black women..fighting racism is one thing, convincing black women or men they are seeking validation from white people by sleeping with them is just psyche 101, and it just doesnt play out in reality….like I said, I rarely have known a black women who got into a relationship with a white person to validate themselves…these pshycho analysis sound really lame to me…but go fight your fight in your space, Im fighting against racism in my space, especialy for the people I love in my life, not to apease you or be accepted by you…I dont need to be accepted by you to validate my fight against racism…and, the space Im in , that does accept interracial relationships , has a huge amount of incredible black people involved..a huge amount, and , people are saying black people need each other, but they are cutting so many black people out with the interracial relationship critique that it is painful to watch

    Its really painful to watch people recycling political agendas that didnt work back in the late 60’s, telling people who they were suposed to date and not,it just brings horrible inner conflict you see on the BWE thread, it didnt work, yet here is the rhetoric rycycled again, just bringing in confusion and re criticism

    Look at the title in the thread, as a white person who always interracial dated, I have every right to be in here debating this topic…racism , white racism , and the damage it has done, is all our problem…you can disucss it alone, but in the end,we dont solve it without all of us participating

    Yeah, those of you who dont like interracial dating, and need to beleive in that to get through the day against white racism, by all means go in your corner and fight your good fight…and Ill fight the good fight in my corner with a lot of good companay…and get the fuk out of South Beach..you arnt ready for it

    Like


  265. This should be:
    “I agree with that — most non-white people who were in contact with whites/Europeans did not escaped that legacy”

    Like


  266. this is a good episode of Jane Elliot’s blue eye exercise I love how oblivious some of the blue-eyed white folks are…it’s really funny. I don’t know who brought it up but I had to post it

    (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REvW35-hRL0)

    Like


  267. @ the Jane Elliot video I posted, I want people to focus on 28:42 where she talks about if you’re born in this country…

    Like


  268. Strange enough I swore that I didn’t like White men but when I entered a dating website and posted my picture, mostly White men messaged me and said that they were interested in me. I don’t know why. Should I change my mind on them? I usually prefer Black men and Latinos but I don’t know these days.

    I hardly see White American guys date Black American women but I have seen many European and foreign White males date Black women though. Because of the lack of seeing White American men with Black women, I feel like they dislike Black women. Who knows.

    Black women and White men have such a complicated relationship in this country, it almost makes me glad that my family didn’t originate from this country.

    Like


  269. There is a lot of regurgitating late 60’s Civil Rights Movement rhetoric on here without really going back and analysing which political agendas really work and which ones should be jetisoned, because all they did was sow inner conflict and the conflict carries over into today.

    Ive asked many times on here about the bashing of Louis Armstrong and tap dancing , by some black activist rhetoric from that time, and I never can get an answer…people dont know about it or even have thought about it….I always knew that it was wrong , but I also knew that in the bigger scheme of fighting white racism, the truth would have to take a back seat until someone like Wynton Marsalis came along to educate people to the truth…tap dancing has never recovered

    And, mandates about dating were thrown out back then, that were unnatural, created conflict, and hasnt been resolved up until now…these mandates are always weaved in with very true concerns about racism , to make it look like they are part of the real problems

    Look at that South Beach video…how do you know those women are going to sleep with that guy? Maybe they just going to pump him for questions about where the action is…maybe they are just going to play the guy…Ocean Beach ( I saw the Mango Club in the background), is wild, people flock there to get away from stiff rhetoric and mores to get their freak on in South Beach, they are looking for action, woman are bold and brazen, what goes down in South Beach stays in South Beach, I have seen some of the tightest sexy dresses wrapped around some of the finest booty you could imagine, walking on Ocean Drive…maybe those women perceived the guys accent and thought he was European, or Cuban, and wasnt a white American to them…

    Then you got the guy coming on afterwards saying “you black women signed an oath of loyalty…”….what oath of loyalty? that superimposed rhetoric from the late 60’s, that people are conflicting on about over on the BWE thread? That rhetoric that should have been jetisoned because it was flawed and has only brought conflict and misunderstanding? I can tell you for sure that rhetoric has done nothing to stop racism or prepare to defend against it..it only represents an area to wallow in while much more important things to address are neglected, like culture assasination.

    And to the notion that a white person in an interracial relationship is coming in here for some kind of acceptance is ridiculous…I come on this thread to point out the flaws in the rhetoric, because otherwise, a lot of wrong stereotype notions would just go rolling with no real balance…these notions deserve to be challanged…to think this is some kind of picnic playing patty cake , asking to be liked and accepted, is just ludicriss

    Like


  270. Even though “Racism” more or less operates in similar ways around the world, as far as white/lighter people de-valuing black or darker skin people — it has different effects and manifests itself differently.

    Black people do not experience “racism” the EXACT same way around the world… yes, there is racism in the UK and Europe, but as black/brown people from the Caribbean or Africa, the struggle is different because we know that we are “foreigners” and we know where we are coming from and that we have a “homeland” to go back to —

    the black American struggle is that you are treated like foreigners in your own country and you have no homeland to go back to — America is your home … and you all view the world through your American “lenses”

    but what most of you don’t realize, is that when you leave the Unite States

    as Americans, you share the same “white privilege” or “western privilege” that white Americans do.

    you receive different treatment than the “local” black /brown population of the country you are visiting or living in — regardless if you are in Europe or in a black/brown majority country.

    as Americans, people assume that you have money and they will treat you better and with more respect. As foreigners, you might get better jobs or higher pay than the black or brown “locals” with similar education.

    and the reverse is true, some people might dislike you and try to harm you because you are black and American — they are jealous and believe that you have money and “privileges” that they don’t have –because you are American.

    Your “American” Nationality alone will set you apart and place you in a different “monetary and racial class status” — depending on the country you are in… you can become “brown or white” due to your “white western privilege” — in some countries in Africa, you are called “white” because you a foreigner from America.

    Like


  271. Wow, ThanX Legion… but I don’t know about the “respectful” part… I do have my moments when I am being a rude snot…but I do try my best to maintain decorum :-)

    Like


  272. on Sun 9 Jun 2013 at 08:57:40 Lwanda Magere

    @Peanut

    I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on the matter of who can get sex the easiest. If anything, the middle-ground seems to suggest that sex seems to be given freely from both sexes. Meanwhile, everyone is speaking in stereotypes that seem to not even remotely reflect the reality that you or myself have experienced.

    As for calling Black women queens, it’s the same reason why I always make it a point to make an encouraging statement when I see a Black woman with natural hair; society diminishes your worth. I’m no captain save-a-ho, but I do value Black women. My mother was abused by my father, and rather than pick-up that torch (the most likely of outcomes statistically speaking), I went the opposite direction.

    It genuinely angers me when I see things like a study that claims that Black women are scientifically the least attractive of all women. When Black women are told that their natural hair is “unprofessional” when in a braided style, and made to feel shamed, that gets me heated.

    But why should Black women have to wait for White society to validate them? I’ll validate a Black woman any time of the day. Of course, the better circumstance is Black women validating themselves rather than waiting for anyone else to do so. In the mean time though, I personally obligate myself to let Black women know that they are appreciated and valued.

    Like


  273. @ Legion (and Cornlia)

    Since you asked so respectfully here’s one of my sources regarding the high rate of “interracial marriages” by Jews prior to being marched into concentration camps

    “By the 1930’s, 60% of all German Jewish marriages were interracial. In his book, “Hitler’s Jewish Soldiers” Brian Rigg states that 155,000 Nazi soldiers had Jewish blood, including some generals.”

    the book: “Christopher Story, author of “The New Underworld Order”

    @ Linda,

    come on on, you used profanity several times to address me and another poster’s response.

    all you have to do is go back and read your own posts

    of course, that’s your prerogative to do so

    Like


  274. Wow, something going on here!

    One I thought that most black men and women married each other. I could be wrong I didn’t go and research the data here.

    Two I think history speaks for itself when you look at the fact that given to chance white men didn’t pass up black women proof look at all of the different shades of black people in places like america, brazil, and spain. This is usually due to white men making babies with black women. Reason, politics, history aside if, black women weren’t attractive how do you explain all these black people with some white blood in them? They are not all white women black man mixing. That is more recent I think yet, someone can come along with some data to show other wise, but I don’t think so cause of the nature of slavery when whites were doing it and all around the world. White men took prizes and one was sexing the women. I always thought of prizes as something that you wanted. Hey but, I could be wrong now.

    Three black men are not the property of black women and black women are not the property of black men. So, both groups will do as they see fit yet, are made and produced by unions with each other. I think the black man vs. black woman thing is way over played and that black women for whatever reason are finding what they want and or need with black men so they don’t date out much. I don’t see a lot of black women complaining about not getting action from other men. It seems they want their own. However, like all things change is the only real guarentee. So, black women may open themselves up to out dating more, but this may take more time as women have often been guarded about these things due to social stressor, history and well desire. There is a reson it is called number 2 choice. If, number one is not avalible then you might go with number 2 wich for black women just looking at this board may be anyman not necessary a white man.

    Like


  275. on Sun 9 Jun 2013 at 10:56:50 wordynerdygirl

    @TrojanPam you’ve just cited from Brian Rigg, an internet conspiracy theorist who claims that most of the leading Nazis were, in fact, Jews. Apart from the grossly offensive anti-Semitism of this claim, how can you rely upon such an unreliable source for your information?

    Like


  276. Peanut stay away from white beasts. I am a black man married to a black woman . Never desired a white woman. Why would I want something inferior?

    Like


  277. Yes, everywhere in the Americas that had slaves, has their own dynamic and parameters about the racism going on and how its dealt with.

    Of course , there are some basic fundimentals that happen, and those are what should be addressed, but, when the parts of a political agenda that are weak and not based on sound reality, like putting down interracial relationships, in the backdrop of another country, if the foundation of the agenda is weak, it will wilt when super imposed over that other country

    In Brazil, harping on the evils of interracial dating will just bang the people doing the harpings heads against the wall, and they could have their head handed to them on a platter

    It just doesnt play out in Brazil, it looks foolish…beleive me, I have read the lament of various disgruntled black American activists down in Brazil, who just cant understand the black Brazilian women and their high numbers who date white foreigners…they walk around with a headache, trying to pound their square peg into a round hole…and it just proves what a weak agenda it is and certainly is a weak political agenda, because it doesnt play out the way its suposed to

    Its like recycling garbage that should have been taken out a long time ago…fine if the people doing it need it to face white racism in America, but it is really only a self fullfilling prophecy…these people arnt going to date white people

    Other people can think for themselves and are doing quite fine, and dont think interacial relationships are negative based on watching Jerry Springer

    Like


  278. @TrojanPam
    “More bounce to the ounce” well with abagond’s posts about booty etc., I am sorry you feel that this is degrading and misogynistic, i prefer dark complected black women, about 5’2″ and the body style is different of a white woman. that is not a debateble point. and it seems black women maybe dance better in general? it is my preferences in a mate/companion/lover and that is not going to change. honestly i’m getting sick of the whole ‘agenda’ of gene pool dilution etc, grafting onto dominant features all that crap, i need to let it roll how i feel and hey like i said there’s someone out there for everyone. i just feel now this whole cheerios debacle and media impetus is adding a whole annoyance factor and it is the corporate thing glomming on to my trip ‘piggybackin off my thing’ and an offshoot of the ‘gay rights movement’ from some fundamental mainstream leftwing liberal view. and if you think i have an agenda or whatever that is projecting and personalizing.
    that’s racist because i’m attracted to black women? now i’ve heard everything, yo.
    have a great day!

    Like


  279. and in all seriousness that was a snap response to matari’s ding ding ding

    Like


  280. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkFpiZQm8xQ)
    More Bounce To The Ounce – Zapp (1980)
    i didn’t write this song

    Like


  281. Look, people who are repelled at the thought of a touch from a white person because they remind them of 400 years of slavery and being raped, should definitly not get into an interracial relationship

    For the people who have a natural preferance for their own race, no one is suggesting you feel any differant

    But, the truth is, the really low drek that is being pseudo psycho analysed about black people who date interracialy, is hilarious, except it is an insult to a lot of black people…and is devisive…many black women I had relationships with, were very talented women…very in control of their lives..to listen to the pop psycholoy analysis and put downs , from people who are only regurgitating political agendas that were not well put together from the first place anyway,just plain suks the mop

    And, I dont see a real handle on what was going down back then in the Civil Rights Movement back then…a lot of black activists who put out those kinds of agendas, didnt hang around in the black communities…they left them high and dry..after they pursuaded everyone to kick white people out of the movement..

    I mean, in the long run, who was more valuable to the struggle, Eldredge Cleaver, Huey Newton or Jim Brown?

    How come no one can address the Louis Armstrong, tap dance issues I raise? I mean no one excpet Abagond gave it a small shot

    People now a days are filled to the gills with political activist rhetoric, but, are culturaly empty…cetainly culturaly ignorant..it comes out all the time on here

    Like


  282. @Trojan Pam,

    I think it is very easy to use the terms “anti-Semetic when uncomfortable truths are exposed…

    Anti-Semitism just like racism is creating laws and public policy that discriminates against people based on color..

    True anti-Semitism were the laws created by white Germans that

    Forbade Jews to use typewrites, ride bicycles, become employed in public sectors such as teach in government ran schools, work as doctors or dentist in state run hospitals and prevented them to work as judges and lawyers…

    the laws also forbade them to sit for university exams…

    So nothing Trojan Pam has done is anti-Semetic

    Also TPam, in regards to interracial marriages between Jews and white Germans, one has to wonder why it was even banned at all…

    Historically, any time marriage was high between non-whites and whites, the whites found a way to outlaw it. In prewar Germany this was called the Nuremberg Laws.

    Like


  283. @Trojan Pam and all who is interested:

    Like


  284. B.R., I want to thank you for taking the time to educate us ignorant negroes on our Afro diasporic culture(which consists of us shaking our naked butts) and for helping us comprehend the true meaning of our experiences. Instead of viewing them through the out-dated perspective of the ill-fated civil rights movement.

    Without your comments, we wouldn’t know anything about ourselves. So thank you.

    Like


  285. But it’s interesting to me that White people aren’t being openly encouraged to date/marry outside of their race like Black people are. I have yet to see an “Interracial Dating Guide for White Men/Women” being plastered all over the news. But for some strange reason, Black men and women are being told to leave “subpar” Black folks for “great” White partners. Wow.

    Like


  286. @ adeen

    White men would be the ones to message u especially if u look young. Also a lot of ppl go on dating websites and look for hookups and will message ppl they wouldn’t have the confidence to approach in life. There are black dating websites. when its black men dating online some usually go for other races of women because they look at it as they can see black in life all the time, whereas other races they do not.

    Like


  287. @ ms j

    I noticed it too, go to a black website and its an interracial ad, go to a white website and its hair ads. They show us these images so that we will assume white ppl want us and then we approach them, so they don’t have to approach us and get shut down. They want us to initiate this stuff because they know when we do something it becomes a trend, so since they can’t make us do it they will dam sure try to persuade us to. This is why they will say biracial babies look cute but when u ask them about black or white babies they say the white babies are cute too, and are silent on black babies. they want us to see ourselves as ugly and mixed, light skinned ppl as beautiful. Then u will have some lost brothas and sistah who buy into it and want biracial kids.

    Like


  288. first of all I think this topic has gotten out of hand, but mstoogoodall, I have been on Black dating sites and gotten messages from WHITE men…on Black dating sites…not interracial, not white dating sites, but black dating sites.

    Whenever I go on black dating websites there are always some white people with profiles on there…how come they don’t do a study on those white folks on there and then assess their rejection/response rate???

    in fact…I THINK I will do a little experiment myself right now just a minute…

    Like


  289. I’m a white man. I’ve seen beautiful white women and beautiful black women. I’ve also seen ugly white women and ugly black women. That’s just looking at the outsides. Some of the most beautiful people inside (where it counts) are not “eye candy”, I haven’t read all your posts on this subject, so my personal feelings may be redundant, but I would not date or marry a black woman because of the cultural obstacles and prejudices that would surround us. Marriage is hard enough, and way too high a percentage of couples get divorced, to knowingly made a tough situation nearly impossible right from the start.

    Like


  290. @mstoogood4yall

    I couldn’t say it any better myself!!

    Look at all the serious issues black people face because of racism, but all they find time to broadcast ad infinitum is whether or not Black people are going out on dates. Plus, it’s common knowledge that most White people have no interest in being married to and having children with Black people; they might want sex, but not lifelong commitment. When they do marry us, we have to end up accepting their reality and downplaying our own. If the relationship ends in divorce, they usually end up taking most of the Black ex’s money and often the children.

    I find it interesting that the interracial marriage rate between Blacks and Whites is so low (about 1%), but it’s such a hot topic in our community. That’s says something.

    Like


  291. @ peanut
    What u planning lol. let me know what u find.

    @ ms j they show us this stuff so we argue amongst ourselves all the while avoiding our real issues. This happened when I was on truths blog, it was a discussion about hair and it turned into one commenter disrespecting women with weave and some of us going at it, when the real issue was why do we give our money to other races and feel the need to change our appearance. Its all a ploy to keep us distracted and divided instead of focusing our energy on healing so we can be united.

    Like


  292. “TrojanPam
    @ Linda,
    come on on, you used profanity several times to address me and another poster’s response.”

    Linda says,

    I never cursed “at” you or Sondis …I did use profanity in my comments to you but I was not cursing at you….Either way, I apologize to you if I offended you.

    Also, I am not interested in being “Right” — because what I say is just my views and my perspective — just like you and everyone else have their subjective perspective mixed with factual observations.

    I like to see all sides to situation because Nothing happens in a vacuum…No one here is really saying anything that has not been said before by past generations … and because of that insight, a lot of changes have been made for black people in the US and abroad.

    TPam, you say many things that are insightful and your “words of wisdom” are probably needed to re-focus the younger generation but

    as I mentioned, my comments were not really even directed to you but to the general feeling of pessimism that seems to creep into the comments lately.

    I am hearing more of “what is wrong with black people” but I am not hearing anyone talk about the “what is Right” and the progress that has been made….

    For those of us who grew up in the 60’s and 70’s, we see how the world is a different place now– and I also see how the younger generation is pissing on these gains in the pursuit of “self”

    Like


  293. Continued…..

    We focus on little stuff like interracial, weave, light skin vs dark skin, all the while avoiding the major stuff like our neighborhoods being destroyed by drugs, violence, gangs, and schools closing, and our need to support and build black businesses. The media puts all this stuff in our face because they know they’ll get a reaction, just look at this post it has 300+ comments in 2 days, yet posts about our history and what we need to do get less than this in the same amount of time. I don’t want to see our ppl hurt but some have to learn the hard way on their own. Do I think we should be with whites? at this time not really especially here in amerikkka and the way a lot of them talk about us or treat us ain’t right. But to each his own.

    Like


  294. @ mstoogood4yall, good points…you are right.

    I just did a little craigslist experiment in dating. I will be writing a post about it later.

    Like


  295. @ all the precious black ladies reading this post

    there is at TRICK that the “pick-up artist” community (meaning men give other men tips on how to “pick up” women”)

    that has been very successful among many black females in the U.S., Africa and abroad DUE to the relentless white mainstream media BASHING of black females like the Psychology Today article penned, “Why are black females the least attractive?”

    This is an excerpt from the book, “The Beauty Con Game” which is a quote by Josh Wickett on the pick-up technique called “framing”

    —-

    Framing: Creating Easy Sexual Access

    “Every week there’s a new study or article that says black women are inferior. Here’s the deal.

    They have a name for it in the PUA community, it’s called ‘framing.’

    PUA stands for pick-up artists.By constantly advertising the idea that black women are at the bottom of the sexual attractiveness heap and saying nobody wants them, they become MUCH easier to get because they feel “lucky” that anyone wants them. This is really a strategy designed to produce easy sexual access to black women for white males.

    I once moved into a group house years ago and it took almost six months before it finally hit me that the black female and white male were f*cking. They
    were so good at keeping it discrete (the white male’s choice, no doubt).
    If a white male wants to have sex with a black female she should FORCE him to be VISIBLE WITH HER.

    That means public displays of affection, meeting white mom and dad. Otherwise, she is being treated like a prostitute.” J.W. — black male blogger, 45

    By NO means am I saying all or most black females fit into any one category, but there is no point in denying that the white media is attempting (and to a degree SUCCEEDING) in doing a HEAD JOB on black females in an attempt to trash our self-esteem. We’ve all seen one negative article after another about black females and HIV, how we can’t find a husband, how we are the least attractive, how big our butts are, etc.

    AND

    keep in mind that comment that V8driver made earlier

    “more bounce to the ounce”

    and I bet had a black male said that about white females in general OR his sister or daughter, he’d take that as an INSULT

    wake up, black queens, before you even THINK about becoming a white man’s w**re — like we were FORCED to be during slavery

    Like


  296. @ v8 driver who said,

    “v8driver

    @TrojanPam
    “More bounce to the ounce” well with abagond’s posts about booty etc., I am
    that’s racist because i’m attracted to black women? now i’ve heard everything, yo.have a great day!


    ME: white males being SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to black females is nothing new. I think all the different complexions of blacks who descended from slavery is a testimony to the white male’s LUST for black females — even while he is practicing racism/white supremacy.

    I think it is up to the black ladies to determine whether your inappropriate for a white male reference to black females having “more bounce to the ounce” was typical of the type of disrespect shown by white males toward black females.

    As a younger black female, I have had white male STRANGERS put their hand on my butt and once, while getting a chiropractic treatment from a white male intern, he called in some of his white male buddy interns to take a look at my butt while I was lying — UNAWARE– on my stomach.

    so I KNOW all about all the great RESPECT shown by white males when it comes to the bodies and sexuality of black females

    I watched an attractive, educated black female friend go from one white male to the other, they would take her out to dinner and ‘act nice” and after maybe, 3 or 4 or maybe 5 or 6 “dates” that would be the END of her

    and NONE of them took her seriously and it used to PAIN me to see how clueless she was, that these white males were USING her but that was her choice. Nothing I could do about it

    BUT that same “admiration” is often a mask for racist white males to USE black females SEXUALLY and the FACT is MOST of these so-called WHITE MALE ADMIRERS would not even consider marrying one of us and having children with us

    that’s why you don’t see that many black females with children who have a white male for a parent as in the reverse. And I’m sure a certain of the black females having abortions were impregnated by white males but due to him being white, a lot of black females are too intimidated to take him to court for support OR to let anyone know they were SEXUALLY USED by a white male and do not want to bear (or birth) the EVIDENCE

    (oh yes, sisters have a LOT of secrets when it comes to sex with white males)

    that is why many white males WAIT until they are PAST the typical child-rearing age and have already HAD their children with a white female to come our way —

    haven’t you noticed that ladies, that most of the white males that hit on you are often past the age of 45 or older?

    And EVERY white male over the age of 21 KNOWS what I’m talking about when it comes to what the AVERAGE white male THINKS of black females, so you acting all innocent of what I’m really saying just won’t fly here.

    Like


  297. Far as i am concerned, a white man or woman, messaging or emailing a black man or woman on a dating site, means absolutely nothing!

    So what, they contact us in a impersonal way on the down low and always want to meet us at a hotel, when they happen to be on a “business trip”

    We as black people are simply, play toys for white people.

    when they are not stepping on our neck in some way shape or form, they are having sex with us.

    I feel my black women are more vulnerable to this from white men, than black men are from white women, being most black men ( not all because i am not one of them ) with screw any female they can.

    Black women, being women, want more than just sex. They want marriage and commitment, this is what white men use to lure the black woman.

    I think most black women, look at how white men, marry and take care of their white women and think the white man, will extend this to her, this is where she is so wrong, its a fallacy that a lot of black women, find out after the fact.

    I also feel, that most black women, compare white men to black men and use a white man as a measuring tool and say, “white men are more of a catch, then black men, being white men are more educated, earn more money and came from money” so i will date only white men. That is very unfair in my opinion, simply because of the white supremacist dynamic, that exists.

    Black women, should not hold up a white man and say, look at the white man, why can’t black men be more like them in terms of education,money,status ect… I think i need not, explain why this is so wrong in so many ways.

    They look at the house with the white Pickett fence, the two cars, the dog and cat and say, i want that for me. which is fine for a black woman or any woman to want for that matter.

    The fact that white men, will marry a white woman, have white children, get a divorce and then all of a sudden, want a black woman?? That’s suspect to me…

    I mean, i can see if a white woman or white man, actually had children with a black person, they get a little lead way and i wouldn’t question their motives as much but most have white children, so there is no way to tell, if they have a hidden, agenda.

    White men, know the racism that black people and other people of color, go through, do you think for a new york minute, that he would want that for any of his children? Hell to the no!!

    He wants white children, not black children that will be cursed under, white supremacy!

    So white men dangle promises of marriage, children and being taken care of in from of black women.

    Most black women, ( Not all but most ) fall for the bait, then when the black women, puts pressure on the white man after they’ve been dating for a year or more, the white man bails on the black woman!

    Then guess what happens? The next time that black woman sees him, he’s with a white woman! Then the black woman, realizes that she was just a negro bed wench, all along.

    Again, i am not saying all black women but most of them, fall for the kooliad and think white men are so much more, moral than black men.

    Like


  298. @ peanut

    Lol craigslist, that site if full of perverts, can’t wait to see what u write.

    @ pam

    Thaks for the post, yes I noticed that as well, they did a study saying we had the highest self esteem and they can’t have us getting uppity on them. No they gotta put us in our place and tell us we ugly. Its the same tactic customers and abusers use. Some customers will point out flaws in a product to try to talk to price down and get a deal.Abusers will tell their victim that they are worthless and nobody will want them. Or cults use that tactic as well to keep ppl by saying the outside world is worse than this, here u are safe. I know my worth because my dad,uncle, and mother instilled in me who I am and my worth. Sadly I know some black females don’t have that, so they feel the need to twerk or do other degrading things for attention, validation, and affection. It is important for us to know our history and that there were black queens who ruled and there were important black women all throughout history. When we don’t know our worth we let others tell us our value and what to do for their approval. That is a slippery slope in this white supremacist society.

    Like


  299. TrojanPam,

    I wrote a comment to you earlier but its in moderation – but I basically stated “that I was Not directing any insults to you, so I apologize if you felt offended” – that was not my intention.

    phoebeprunelle,

    “asa lama lakum” … after watching the video that you posted, I now know where this rhetoric about “Global White Supremecy” is coming from … I find some things that Minister Louis Farrakhan says interesting as well.

    I guess this new, modern day mantra is suppose to unite black and non-white people to fight against their internalized “European indoctrination, inversed racism, colourism, and the general mindf’ck that affects all black/brown society” — we’ve been down this road before in the 60’s and 70’s but from some of the comments I am reading, I guess it doesn’t hurt to continue to inspire.

    I’m for whatever it takes for people to find “self-realization” – that’s only one aspect of the battle that black/brown people face – but we are all in different stages of self awareness and actualization…it’s not one size fits all.

    But as far as white /European people having the ability to affect, disenfranchise, and control the policy and fiscal lives of black/brown people around the world…things have and continue to change –

    they game has already changed… for good or bad, The Chinese are now the Global policy makers who are affecting global change for white and non-white people and those white boys in that video know this…what people can say whatever they like to themselves if it helps them sleep better at night.

    the “New World Order” is not in favour of white people and that is what the white Racist Fear and are all screaming about … they already know which way the wind is blowing.

    Like


  300. @ Ms. J and mstoogood4yall

    absolutely, there is no “interracial dating” ads on sites and magazines, etc that cater to white people, I suspect, because white people DON’T WANT TO SEE THAT S.

    when they have a taste for a little “black stuff” they know where to go:

    to a black website or dating site

    otherwise, that message that “IR is better” is not designed for them. Most of them aren’t interested in marrying us anyway, so what would be the point?

    However they do want BLACK MALES and FEMALES to want them, and to divide and conquer ourselves so the system of white supremacy can continue to function EFFICIENTLY and SMOOTHLY

    because ANY black male or female who is lying in bed with a white person is AUTOMATICALLY NEUTRALIZED in the fight for black liberation because even they don’t believe in it

    and will spend a great deal of their time and energy defending their CHOICE of a white partner — all of which often leads to a SPLIT PERSONALITY along so-called “racial” lines

    where the black person will start BLAMING other black people for being the victims of racism and for the bad things that white people do to them

    “If only those (other) n***gers” would act right, white people wouldn’t treat ME so bad”

    and they will often wind up more anti-black and black-self-hating

    and what could benefit the system of white supremacy more than that?

    Like


  301. @ all the black ladies

    ALSO

    ever notice how in all the TV shows that a pretty black female will be sexually pursuing a not so attractive white male as though it’s black females who are lusting after white males than the other way around?

    because white males pursuing black females GOES AGAINST THE WHITE MALE CONDUCT CODE

    where he is NOT supposed to OPENLY acknowledge the black female as equally sexually attractive as white females.

    I have experienced AND witnessed this dynamic where a white male will either be SNEAKING PEEKS at me or another black female OR will pretend he doesn’t see that we’re females at all OR will sometimes become hostile in the presence of an attractive female like that goes against his programming

    that white is always superior

    and then some of those same white males will find a way to sneak up to you at a convention or someplace else to see if you will “visit them in their room” or some other such nonsense.

    come on ladies, we’ve ALL experienced the sneaky racist white male on the prowl….

    Like


  302. @ phoebeprunelle

    thanks for posting the video

    @ abagond

    thanks for putting up with all my posts!

    Like


  303. @ sondis

    Yeah some black women and men are lost when it comes to this, they stereotype their own. They stereotype white men and women as being the better option and the black man and woman as being the wrong option. I was on a blog about black men not marrying until later in life and I understand it. It takes black men longer to accumulate wealth than white men so some black women will look at it as white men are the better option. men want to be fianacially stable before they enter into a marriage and white men have the upper hand in this area. It don’t matter to me how long it takes a man to get to where he is going so long as he knows where he’s going and has the ambition to get there. Tyler perry movie about a black woman sleeping with a married white man and thinking he was going to leave his wife for her was funny to me. I know a lot of white men view us as toys and can’t stand how they always refer to us as some chocolate this like we a dam candy bar. What do ppl do with candy bars and what are they for? candy bars are to satisfy a sweet tooth ,after that u throw away the wrapper and that’s the end. ITs the same way with black women they use some to satisfy their urge then after that they are thrown away.

    Like


  304. @ wordynerdygirl

    @TrojanPam you’ve just cited from Brian Rigg, an internet conspiracy theorist who claims that most of the leading Nazis were, in fact, Jews. Apart from the grossly offensive anti-Semitism of this claim, how can you rely upon such an unreliable source for your information?

    I have read this over many years from NUMEROUS SOURCES, one of which came from a black male I consider my GURU who has confirmed that

    1. Semites were mulattos (mixed race) and were NOT considered white by white Germans

    2. Jews are targeted NOT because of religion, they were targeted for the same reason Gypsies, blacks, and other non-whites were targeted in Germany: BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT WHITE

    3. There were JEWS involved in the slaughter of (other) Jews during Nazi Germany reign of terror

    You are FREE to disagree (or not) but that old TRICK of calling someone “anti-semitism” to shut them up (OR to hide the TRUTH about Jewish collaborators during the Hitler regime)

    JUST WON’T WORK

    I don’t CARE about those labels, all I care about is the TRUTH and what is the most LOGICAL answers available according to those who have NO AX (or “victimization”) to GRIND.

    there have been MANY, MANY, MANY LIES told about the Nazi era and how some Jews that participated in it FOR PROFIT

    calling people (like me) “anti-Semitic” doesn’t change ONE thing.

    Like


  305. Yes Maam !!!!!!! You are DEAD Right !!!!!

    Like


  306. mstoogood4yall:

    ^5 @ what you said to compliment my point… I hear ya sista….

    Like


  307. @ Trojan pam

    I said the same thing on another post. That they always show us in shows pursuing white ppl when in real life its the other way around they are the ones initiating things and we either reject or accept. They want to show us as the bad guy like look this black woman threw herself at this poor married white man he had no chance. They want to show us as not being worthy of being approached by men, other shows they show the women being pursued by the man. They are slyly trying to say we are masculine and proposition the man.

    Like


  308. @ wordynerdygirl

    FYI — the BOOK I quoted was written by “Christopher Story,

    who is the author of “The New Underworld Order”

    IT IS YOU — who attached “Brian Rigg” — an “internet conspiracy theorist” to my post which NEVER MENTIONED him

    Which to me seems somewhat deceptive attempt to “shame me”

    UNLESS you have PROOF that Brian Rigg is somehow connected to “Christopher Story” as a PSEUDONYM

    I will assume we should agree to disagree

    (without any name-calling or personal accusations, please)

    Like


  309. @ mstoogood4yall

    absolutely, the black female is ALWAYS shown as the sexual aggressor of the poor hapless white male in most TV shows where a pretty black actress is shown

    when IN REALITY, it is the WHITE MALE who initiates the sexual encounter

    I believe they do this for three reasons

    1. To REINFORCE the CENTURIES-OLD REPUTATION as the “hot-blooded, black female Jezebel (w**re) who could NOT be raped because she always wanted “it” — meaning the white male slave-owners were NOT sociopathic SERIAL RAPISTS OF BLACK FEMALES –

    and that includes the “Father” of our country — George Washington

    (keep in mind that 90% of the people in the U.S. with the last name “Washington” are black — where did we get that name from???)

    and it includes Thomas Jefferson who was a SERIAL RAPIST and RAPED Sally Hemmings, a black female slave — but the white “his-storians” painted it as a CONSENSUAL “romantic” relationship”

    how in the H is that possible when he kept her as a SLAVE? what choice does a SLAVE have to say yes or no to her “master’s” sexual overtures of RAPE?

    how freaking ridiculous AND racist to paint her Victimization as a “romance”

    2. to maintain the WHITE MALE CONDUCT CODE that no white male should EVER put a black or non-white female above a white female and in those instances where he slips off his superior “pedestal” and actually engages in sexual intercourse with a non-white female

    let it be understood that it was NOT his idea and he just had a weak moment like any man would when presented with free and easy NOOKY

    3. to further alienate the black male as he watches the SHAMELESS black female throw herself at the white male — once again confirming in the disgusted black male’s MIND

    that the black female is exactly what the white male has been calling her for hundreds of years

    a white man’s w**re” (just add an “h” and an “o” and you spell out the word

    Like


  310. @ sondis

    who said: “We as black people are simply, play toys for white people. when they are not stepping on our neck in some way shape or form, they are having sex with us.”

    AMEN

    Like


  311. TrojanPam:

    AMEN sista!

    Like


  312. @ Linda

    We all get a little passionate when defending our opinions. Thanks for acknowledging it

    Like


  313. @ phoebeprunelle — who said, “I think it is very easy to use the terms “anti-Semetic when uncomfortable truths are exposed…Anti-Semitism just like racism is creating laws and public policy that discriminates against people based on color.. True anti-Semitism were the laws created by white Germans that

    Forbade Jews to use typewrites, ride bicycles, become employed in public sectors such as teach in government ran schools, work as doctors or dentist in state run hospitals and prevented them to work as judges and lawyers…the laws also forbade them to sit for university exams…

    So nothing Trojan Pam has done is anti-Semetic

    ABSOLUTELY — it is a SHAMING mechanism to quiet ALL DISCOURSE and discussion that someone doesn’t like.

    I also agree with your description of how so-called ‘anti-semitism’ was practiced in Germany. I have done NONE of those things, I simply VOICED my opinion.

    Let the record of WHAT the German Nazis really were against. I don’t think you’ll see much about “religion”

    of course, I could be incorrect about that point, but the MAIN goal was to eliminate NON-whites aka ‘racially impure” people.

    Like


  314. @ Legion who said, “There’s a time for “rudeness” and a time to keep from being “rude”.* We’re adults and you have to decide when it needs to be done.

    Please educate me as to when it’s appropriate (or even necessary) to be “rude” to another posting who is simply posting their opinion that you disagree with — and that poster has not been rude to you

    and what that has to do with being “an adult”

    (frankly, admitting to being rude and offering an apology was more adult — in my opinion)

    Like


  315. @ Pam
    And I know it really messes with black men’s minds when shows like scandal come on and some black women will defend it when the black men try to point out the stereotypes in it. White men will sleep with non white women but u will never hear them say they are better, yet some black ppl will say a white person is better when they date out. And also when a white man says something about black womens bodies or how they are sexually some black women take it as a compliment. I remember reading an article about a white rapper or something saying black women give better head than white women, and some black women were co signing that bs. Some are so starved for attention that when a man degrades them they feel like wow he notices me. Notice whenever a white person says what they like about black men or black women its always physical and they say things like I like their chocolate skin, their lips, etc. I don’t like being compared to chocolate by them because 1 chocolate is not a necessity 2 ppl can live without chocolate 3 ppl like chocolate to satisfy a sweet tooth and don’t eat it everyday.4 Chocolate is a WANT not a need.
    Water is a need and ppl need it to survive. Its the same with white men wanting black women its usually to satisfy a sweet tooth and view us not as a necessity but as extra, replaceable. They don’t really end up marrying a black woman, and aren’t around her everyday just when they want her. They treat white women like water, they need her not just want her, and treat her as such by marrying her and being around her.

    Like


  316. @ sondis

    I have also noticed that older White males will marry a middle-aged Black female long AFTER he’s had his White wife, children, and grandchildren. So even if they have a Black partner towards the end of their life, one can assume that their wealth will stay in the White community. In contrast, the White female will have children with a Black man who she’ll most likely divorce, take his money, and raise their non-White children who may end up White-identified.

    @ Peanut

    I get messages from White males all the time too on my online dating profile, but I just ignore what they send me. I just have a feeling that they wouldn’t approach me out in public, but they feel safe doing it on the Internet because other Whites aren’t watching. Even when I liked White men in the past, I knew deep down that they would never approach me, and that it would probably work against my interest if I approached them. I don’t even think most Black people would approach Whites to pursue these relationships. And I suspect that the White person would ignore them if they did.

    To All Black Women:

    I would caution us to be careful in assuming European men are less “prejudiced” or “racist” than White-American men. I think it’s common knowledge by now that White-Americans came from Europe in the first place. Also, the Europeans have their share of non-White foreigners who they openly despise. A lot of these men could presumably be in support of the mistreatment meted out to African and Middle Eastern immigrants in their countries because of the widespread fear of “multiculturalism” across the EU. So while the European male may not understand certain nuisances of race that we have in the States, they still have White privileges over POC both in and out of their countries. Otherwise, Western nations wouldn’t be so powerful like they are now after colonizing people and resources who are now running back to the West for help.

    Like


  317. @ B. R. — who said, “not one black woman I have ever had a relationship with has ever done it to be validated by a white man…this is the Freud/Fannon/Femininst activist rheteroic you are buying into…basicly a western concept…psycho analysis…Ill say it again, not one black woman Ive been with or been around ever went with white men for validation.”

    first of all,

    I think it is VERY telling that you – as a white male — think you can SPEAK for what is in the heart and mind of a black female and feel comfortable enough to actually post it

    Also, those black females who are seeking white male validation don’t always know that’s what they’re doing. Many black people are confused about racism, how it is practiced BY white people – especially in the bedroom — and that they are often ACTING out of a Brainwashing that has been perpetrated on them all their lives

    secondly

    I am NOT speaking out of some white female “Freud/Fannon/Feminist/ Activist/Rhetoric

    (whew, that was a bucketful of words) because I don’t even know what that is

    it really astounds me when someone I’ve NEVER met, tries to tell me what my frame of reference is based on some literature written by a white person — that FRANKLY, I don’t even buy into

    I am not an admirer of Freud, seeing that he was a COKE HEAD and I have personally NEVER met a black female that wanted to sleep with her father OR a black male that secretly longed for his mother

    I suspect that pathology is a EUROPEAN one, like many others

    so please either agree or disagree and present YOUR point of view, do NOT attempt to present MINE for ME. I am NOT a white female, and I am NOT a feminist.

    I am a person who practices — to the best of my ability — COUNTER-RACISM and my goal is to help other victims of white supremacy ANALYZE and UNDERSTAND how this system functions AND how white people practice it

    BOTH IN AND OUT OF THE BEDROOM

    That is MY FRAME of reference — and you got that DIRECTLY FROM ME.

    Like


  318. @ mstoogood4yall

    I agree with your last post and that goes back to what Josh Wickett called

    “Framing”

    destroying the self-esteem of your potential target (a female) — in this case, a black female

    by making her feel undesirable

    and then she will be MORE open to a man’s advances when he pays attentiion to her or flatters her

    in our case the white media worked OVERTIME to convince black females that black males didn’t want us — even though the VAST MAJORITY of black males date and marry black females

    and due to this and other social factors this set the STAGE — along with the white media (that OWNS the biggest and most popular “black” websites — plastered them with articles and ads about dating “white men”

    and NOT understanding racism/white supremacy in its most refined forms

    many black females FELL FOR THE CON GAME of thinking ALL these white males were out there JUST DYING to MEET, MIX, MINGLE and MARRY US

    NOT

    they have always been highly motivated to SEX us and some may even take us out on a date or two or three and call us “my black girlfriend”

    but MOST — including the ONES POSTING ON THIS BLOG

    will probably NEVER MARRY A BLACK FEMALE OR VOLUNTARILY HAVE CHILDREN WITH US

    THAT is the REALITY we should keep in mind

    I don’t say any of this to CONDEMN black females or black females who date non-black males

    I would say to them, white males aren’t the only option, there are other non-white males you should consider FIRST

    before engaging in sex with the same people who BENEFIT and PRACTICE WHITE SUPREMACY AND WILL PRACTICE ON YOUR CHILDREN AND THEIR CHILDREN AND THEIR CHILDREN

    that’s what I’m saying

    Like


  319. Ms. J:

    Good point to compliment mine. I’ve said this before also…

    You normally see older white men and women, that are over weight, look old and unattractive and therefore, not caring too much about what society thinks about them, being with a black person.

    When they were younger, they wouldn’t have been caught dead with a black person but in old age, they don’t have as many options as they did in their youth and their own white people don’t want them anymore.

    The black people are normally, one to two times, younger than they are.

    I rarely see a young, attractive, rich white male or woman, with a black person, being they are at a stage in their life, where being scene with a black person, will hurt their stature and job prospects .

    So when i tell you, when it comes to white people, dating black people, there is ALWAYS an agenda, either way you slice it and dice it.

    Like


  320. @ Sondis and Ms. J. I concur with those statements as well.

    Like


  321. TrojanPam:

    whew! girl you are on a cinnamon roll, today! ^_^

    *takes a bite out of cinnamon roll

    Like


  322. @ Sondis and Ms J. And a black woman should never be flattered by that. It’s is really offensive.

    Like


  323. Mary burrel, i acknowledge the fact, that you concur. *_*

    Like


  324. mary burrell:

    indeed it is, offensive but its all apart of our sickness of being, brainwashed for so long.

    Like


  325. @ B. R. who said, “Look, people who are repelled at the thought of a touch from a white person because they remind them of 400 years of slavery and being raped, should definitly not get into an interracial relationship.”

    That is NOT the main point. HAD racism/white supremacy ENDED with the (false) emancipation of African slaves in the U.S., we would probably NOT be having this conversation

    the REALITY is — that whites CONTINUED IT AFTER THAT AND CONTINUE IT TO THIS DAY

    Slavery is the GENESIS of racist oppression for blacks in America so to NOT mention it is the same as asking JEWS not to talk about the HOLOCAUST (which they do continually) when talking about anti-semitism in Germany

    It is a historical FACT and a FOUNDATION for today’s racism in the U.S.

    and the DAMAGE that was done over a 400 year period — like a kind of Stockholm Syndrome carried out OVER a 500 year period — including 100 years AFTER SLAVERY of racist oppression by whites

    has created the KIND OF CONFUSED BLACK MINDS that would LAY DOWN WITH THE SAME PEOPLE WHO OPPRESSED THEIR ANCESTORS FOR 400 YEARS

    and are STILL OPPRESSING black people today and call that

    “black progress”

    that is the point of talking about slavery

    to start at the beginning of BLACK PSYCHOLOGICAL DEVASTATION

    not just to hold a 400 year old “grudge”

    Like


  326. @Mr J,

    There is a blog called Blackgirlinberlin.com where a young Black lady who lives in Germany talks about how white European men mistake well-dressed, attractive Black women for prostitutes all the time.. (WTH!)

    I am not saying that ALL white European men who approach Black women are like this–but i hear the horror stories coming from Brothers and Sisters living in european countries…

    One Brother i talked to was like many German women tried to get with him and he had a relationship with several, but he said they were just like the German men towards Black women–they see you as a sexual other and will make comments like “I want to f a Black man tonight” (WTH!) or “is it true that Black women are wild in bed?” (that question he says came from a German woman he was dating!!!???)

    @Linda,
    lol, i think the white guy in the video did not want his face showing because he felt he was “betraying” himself by telling what he knows.

    Like


  327. @ phoebeprunelle

    I have received so many emails and personal stories from black males AND females who have been VICTIMIZED and DECEIVED by having sex with whites.

    there’s a fascinating (and sickeningly sad) article called

    “Meet the Mandingos”

    http://www.details.com/sex-relationships/sex-and-other-releases/200703/meet-the-mandingos

    I would strongly SUGGEST all black males read this and see how SEX is used by racist whites to degrade and dehumanize black people

    in this article, the Victims are black males and when you read their comments it is easy to understand the LEVEL of psychological damage that exists to allow someone who DESPISES YOU — to USE your precious body while PRACTICING RACISM on you

    which is why I tell black males all the time, a white female treating you like a “black stud” (a sex toy and inanimate, unfeeling, less than human object)

    IS NOT A COMPLIMENT

    Like


  328. @ sondis

    I guess I had my blacka vitamins today!

    I appreciate your commentary as well — and those of all the others who are trying to help other Victims understand that RACISM and SEX go hand in hand

    Like


  329. TrojanPam:

    On a lighter note, are you going to watch the spurs and heat in game 2 of the NBA finals, tonight on ABC?, if so, who are you rooting for? @ : o O ) >

    Like


  330. @Adeen

    If you feel comfortable dating white guys go ahead, if the potential for conflict and stress doesn’t seem worth it, than don’t.

    If you think they are just using you, don’t, unless you just want to use them in return.

    If you think the only reason you might want to date white men is due to internalized racism, than it would be advaisable not to date out then as well.

    @white supremecy

    The problem with the ideas around white supremecy always assume things are done while being thought out or planned and not more often as a result of generalized bias.

    If you work under the assumption the writers of the TV shows actually think black women are more masculine and are racist, exactly how would they write black men and women?

    It wouldn’t require an intention to frame them as desperate or anything like that. It simply requires bias and racism.

    White Supremecy people seem to have the same kind of thought process for the government and groups in control that conspiracy people do, and they give them way too much credit and competency to be honest.

    Do white people come off as that smart, controlled and well planned to you? Because they don’t to me and I am one.

    I’m not saying there isn’t bigotry, racism, bias or laws and aspects of the government set up to hassle PoC more than white people, because well obviously there are.

    There’s also another problem with this mode of thought, the powerful never give away power.

    Generally true but then how do you explain the gains of civil and legal rights, black politicians, the increase of black wealth, black billionaires etc….?

    Money is power, politics is power, if black people are as helpless as you say, than how have they made these gains?

    I mean the powerful didn’t give it to them, but at the same time they are “helpless” it seems like a paradox to me.

    The powerful even having to play along with the idea of a black president is a huge drop and loss in power.

    @Trojanpam

    Obama doesn’t get the respect he deserves from his contemparies but he still has power that is innate to his position.

    Before he had to think about getting re-elected, but now that he doesn’t how many people have made comments this term?

    Like


  331. @ sondis

    hope you read the Meet the Mandingos’ article and share it with other black males and females

    AND

    on a lighter note, no, I’m not into televised sports,

    I’d rather watch some black men sweat on the court up close and personal in real time!

    (( rubbing hands together in anticipation ))

    and with that, I think I have said all I have to say and so will give everyone a break from my opinions

    and get back to my own blog and the novel I’m working on

    (it’s so much fun to make stuff up and not have some eagle-eyed poster like Cornlia and Legion and B.R. ask me for sources — just joking :-)

    have a good evening, everyone

    Like


  332. @ V-4

    I’ll respond and then I’m going to enjoy the rest of my evening

    You said, “Obama doesn’t get the respect he deserves from his contemparies but he still has power that is innate to his position. Before he had to think about getting re-elected, but now that he doesn’t how many people have made comments this term?”

    In my opinion, there is NO INNATE POWER to a “title”

    the people who GIVE someone that TITLE are the ones with all the power — and the POWER to take it away

    Obama is simply signing the bills put in front of him — the same as Geo Bush, Jr. did.

    He does NOT write the bills, he doesn’t even write his own speeches,

    He does NOT control the banks (who got all the money they wanted WITHOUT being accountable for how and where it was spent)

    He did NOT write the so-called “Obamacare” bill, the Health care industry wrote it AND “donated” over $100 million to the pasage of it

    (what does that tell you?)

    Obama’s inner circle are some of the same BANKSTERS from the Clinton administration

    including former Federal reserve presidents and Goldman Sachs kingpins

    President Obama DID NOT

    nominate himself
    vette himself
    employ himself
    finance himself
    or (s)elect himself

    The people who did all the above CONTROL the White House

    and if you doubt that, digest this

    EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF LEGISLATION THAT THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION PASSED THAT WAS UP FOR RENEWAL WAS EITHER RENEWED OR EXPANDED DURING THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION

    NO WHITE PERSON in the political arena fears President Obama OR his wife

    that is why a federal judge said his momma had sex with a dog

    and why the Governor of Arizona (Jan Brewer) wagged her finger in his face and all he could do was grin

    and why he had to PERSONALLY CALL a lowly white male cop civil servant and APOLOGIZE on NATIONAL TV for criticizing the police

    and why a white male Senator (forgot his name) stood up in the Senate and pointed a finger at President Obama and said

    “You lie!”

    and why a Congressman said First Lady Michelle “had a big butt”

    and on and on and on and on and on

    When people have REAL POWER (that they TOOK from those who have it)

    people FEAR them because they know there will be CONSEQUENCES if they displease or cross them

    NO ONE IS AFRAID OF OBAMA

    THAT IS NOT WHAT REAL POWER LOOKS LIKE

    And those who do not understand that, I suggest they study more about history and power and how people really get it

    it will NOT resemble the farce and dog and pony show called “U.S. elections”

    have a good evening

    Like


  333. @ V-4

    I forgot to include

    regarding “black” politicians and “rich blacks”

    it is easy to see that they are STILL being victimized by racism and racists

    and most black politicians are being systematically REMOVED from office, and at one time ALL Congressmen under indictment OR being investigated were BLACK — despite black congressmen and women constituting less than 10 percent of the total

    how does that happen that only black congressmen and women are under indictment in one of the most corrupt government bodies in the world?

    regarding “rich blacks’

    all of them got their RICHES from white people

    for example, Oprah Winfrey got her show from white people, her sponsors were white companies and the people who decided her show would become syndicated — making her rich — were white people

    at any given time, Oprah, had to have the PERMISSION of powerful white people to become RICH

    therefore, MONEY is NOT POWER

    but all POWERFUL PEOPLE HAVE MONEY

    it’s the people who SIGN Michael Jordan’s CHECK that have the real money

    it’s the people who PUT ON the OPRAH SHOW that have the real money and power

    and the main purpose of “black showcasing” — showing large numbers of blacks making money

    is to FOOL the OPPRESSED BLACK MASSES that racism is going away and these “rich blacks” are proof

    it’s all about DECEPTION

    plus the FACT that talented black people make their white bosses and benefactors a lot of money, more money than those “rich blacks” will ever make in ten lifetimes

    I’ve done my best to explain and now I’m gone

    Like


  334. Peanut, I think that you might be a little naïve with that “black men prefer black women” line. Black women (not all) tend to praise black men and like to think of us a community but that is not the case. Black women love black men waaaaay more than black men love black women. Yes it is painful but it is the truth whether you want to accept it or not. I live on a street with three black men married or living with white women. There was a bw/wm couple that lived on my street but they moved to an even more affluent area. The bm/ww couples have black men that are not that desirable. Now we can go back and forth about how black men feel about black women. You must live in the hood. If you go anywhere outside of the hood, you see nothing but bm/ww couples everywhere you go. Black women keep their heads in the sand but if you really want to know how black men feel…..follow the money trail…drops mike and walks away…..

    Like


  335. @ sondis

    I live in san Antonio these ppl don’t play when it comes to the spurs they will run someone off the road or beat someone up if u go against them. I don’t care who wins but the game is on almost every tv in my house lol.

    Like


  336. @TrojanPam

    All that really confirms is that the Presidents support the elite, in that position he was no weaker or better than the other Presidents.

    Just lately someone tried to heckle Michelle Obama and she put them in their place.

    And just having to play along with the idea that a PoC can be President is a severe drop in power to the white surpremecy.

    For that matter; those in power tried to get rid of him the second election via the southern strategy and failed.

    Like


  337. wow, Peanut doesn’t live in the hood if u follow her blog you’d know she grew up in a predominately white area. Its crazy when ppl come in here stereotyping ppl just because of the different views they have.

    Like


  338. mstoogood4yall:

    Whew, good thing i’m rooting for the spurs and I’m on the east coast! I should be rooting for the heat but i don’t care about that. ^_^

    Enjoy the game!

    TrojanPam:

    Enjoy your break, you deserve it! ^_^

    Like


  339. Peanut, I think that you might be a little naïve with that “black men prefer black women” line. Black women (not all) tend to praise black men and like to think of us a community but that is not the case. Black women love black men waaaaay more than black men love black women.

    @Tara, you do know that according to the latest U.S. Census (2012), this year’s hasn’t come out yet,

    Over 90% of Black men who are married have Black wives..

    Like


  340. @TrojanPam

    Money is power; it allows lawyers to be paid, doctors, schools to be funded, organizations and causes to be funded, media to be created…in a capitialistic society such as the US, money is the embodiment of power.

    It all comes back to what I was saying; if black people are helpless and power doesn’t give away power….than how was the gain in civil, economic and legal rights possible, why does the white supremecy have to “pretend” to the world that a black man is their boss, thats a huge loss of face for a powerful organization of that matter.

    Why do white supremecy organizations now “have” to allow PoC into them?

    Like


  341. on Mon 10 Jun 2013 at 00:32:34 Paranormal Skeptic

    Most of the men I have dated have been non-Black. In fact, when I have joined dating sites, I get far more responses from White men than Black. However, this may be due to my skin color. Also, White men in Europe tend to enjoy dating Black women, unlike the rednecks here in the USA. OK keeps going on and on about how Black men have it easier when they actually do not. Asian women sure don’t want them, only White women who have mostly been rejected by White men. I certainly would not give a Black man the time of day.
    Besides, Abagond – why do YOU keep harping on White Men/Black Women when it is Black men who chase after White women like the desperate dogs they are?

    Like


  342. that’s an easy question to answer !!! Money is NOT Power because the white supremacist MAKES the money, determine the WORTH of such money and DIRECT the flow of such money GLOBALLY. Second, when the shit about to hit the fan that when they finally decide to have a black POTUS, make no mistake, President is the SMOKING GUN. Mr. Obama bout to take the heat for all the ills of the white supremacy, Cant you feel it ????

    Like


  343. WTF !!! I thought Peanut was a dude, I am confused ??? So MANY Postings on this volatile topic I am having trouble keeping up with who is saying what, Oh Lawd forgive me….

    Like


  344. EXCELLENT Resonse Pam, I couldn’t have said it any better. You laid it on the line. If people stil;l want to equate power with money concerning non white people- well it be because they FAIL to understand racism, what it is and HOW it works !!!

    Like


  345. @ c.andrews

    came back (had a weak moment)

    regarding power, I explained it the best I can that MONEY and POWER are NOT synonymous

    another example

    are the little people who have say, ten million invested in the stock market

    BUT the people with the REAL POWER can make that market CRASH and turn ten million into ten thousand

    Now, that is POWER

    they did it during the Great Depression and they can and will do it again

    There are so many examples that prove that MONEY and POWER are different

    but I’m not spending my entire evening trying to convince anyone of the difference

    it is what it is

    Like


  346. @c.andrews

    And the white supremecists that makes and determines the value of money, determines money to have a lot of value, more so than anything else.

    Having more money means having more resources, by default it means having access to resources and power unavailable to them before.

    A black person that is a billionaire, even if he doesn’t have the power of a white billionaire is still one of the most powerful people on the face of the planet.

    Or do you think a black billionaire leads the same life as a middle class black person and has no greater power than them?

    Obama is “the” single most powerful individual on the face of the planet.

    You also failed to address the other questions I put forth.

    Like


  347. @TrojanPam

    Can a black person do more with ten grand than they can ten million?

    Like


  348. @ Tara

    The only thing you said that I can remotely agree on is it depends on where you live and frankly you are naive to believe living in the ghetto is the only place you will see black men black women couples. My uncle is a well off black male who owns his own business and white is a phd holding business woman herself. In fact I know many like him. In the supposed ghetto on the other hand I constantly see white men and black women or black men and white women.

    @ Paranormal Skeptic

    “Asian women sure don’t want them, only White women who have mostly been rejected by White men.”—I think it would help if you better research this notion before writing about something you know little or nothing about. It is easy to make comments based on your experience and I will respect your experience, but to make an assumption on the majority based on your experience is just ignorant.

    Like


  349. correction wife*

    Like


  350. And I agree with whoever said the the matching is usually the goofy white guy and black woman.

    Like


  351. well let us follow logic, a black billionaire may have more tangible items than a middle class or poor black but you cannot equate that with TRUE power. sadly in the end all mistah Charlie see is you a shiftless negro no matter how much money you have. Take Oprah Winfrey, when she was in London she was denied admittance to their top store Herrod until a few calls were made to explain she was a special negress, During Hurricane Katrina did it strike you as odd that not a single rich powerful black could hire planes to clear the people out of there, maybe all the people could not be saved but i never saw any blacks having the power to make the government act with justice. You said “Obama is “the” single most powerful individual on the face of the planet.” You have got to be kidding is all i have to say and I dont know what your other question is but in the end Power and Money are not synonomous under the sys tem of white supremacy and if you still think it is then you have drunk too much koolaid…….

    Like


  352. Maybe you can watch this here video and tell me that you still think blacks with money have power, the black guy in the video could have very well been Obama’s son for all these people knew, check out how he was treated….http://www.upworthy.com/know-anyone-that-thinks-racial-profiling-is-exaggerated-watch-this-and-tell-me-when-your-jaw-drops-2?g=4&c=bl3

    Like


  353. Why is it some women hate to be disrespected by men but will blatantly diss men and call them animals and dogs? some may act like it but some women act like a u know what as well. Or ppl who stereotype all black men and women as being desperate, ignoring the fact that white men and women have been the ones chasing after us and are the ones who make these images and put it in front of us. Black ppl aren’t the ones making all these interracial shows and movies portraying us as the chaser. Who is desperate and chasing who ?when it is not blacks that own all these dating websites or media.

    Like


  354. @c.andrews

    And would a middle class black person have the leverage to get those calls made?

    No; the middle class black person wouldn’t have the power to do so.

    That illustrates my point exactly, money, wealth and position can get black people into places that the lack of would keep them out.

    Having more money doesn’t just mean more material possesions it means more social power.

    A black person with ten million can “do” more than one with ten “grand”.

    The black elite didn’t hire planes to ship people out because they didn’t care too.

    As single individuals go; its true, no one person in existance has more power than Obama does right now.

    Your equating not having as much power as you would like or perfer or not getting as much as whites would in a similiar scenario as “lacking” power.

    Like


  355. @ c Andrews,

    I am a Black woman.

    Like


  356. @c.andrews

    That video doesn’t change my mind about this debate but it certainly points out the iffyness of crime statistics.

    Like


  357. @ sondis

    Maybe next time the spurs can do something lol. The heat was straight dunking on yall.

    Like


  358. You be dead wrong on this, listen up , do you recall when a good friend of Obama’s Henry Louis Gates got arrested in his own home cause He was fumbling with the keys to his door and a white neighbor called the popo of a possible break in?? Louis Gates is a wealthy esteemed black scholar at Harvard University in case you need reminding. Do you know what happened next- he was arrested and treated like a common nigga by this racist suspect cop. Of course after Profeesor Gates was taken thru hell all charges were dropped. Obama made a very simple statement to the effect it was idiotic to lock a person up after it was clearly identified they were the legal homeowner. Mistah Charlie made sure Obama ate his words. The police started bad mouthing Obama and caused such a media ruckus that Obama finally apologized to the white srresting officer and invited him and Prferrsor Gates to the whitehouse for a beer !!!the Officer NEVER apologized for locking up a homeowner in they own house….What about that white woman Jan govenor of Arizona I believe wagging her finger in Obama’s face with impunity and the judge who circulated vicious email about Obama mama having sex with dogs and lastly , the consitution still say we blacks are only 3/5 human. Come again with that ish that blacks with money have power…….

    Like


  359. mstoogood4yall:

    The heat did, what they are suppose to do at home, win! They actually was suppose to win, the first game.

    I knew they would win tonight, now its the spurs turn to have home court. ^_^

    Like


  360. Yeah we’ll see next week. Its anybodys game, last spurs game tony did great with that last shot fell down got back up and made a three at the last second.

    Like


  361. Awwww Lawdy, you be one of them real hardheadz, , Yiu in some deep denial, Imma leave it alone……

    Like


  362. mstoogood4yall:

    Tony Parker, didn’t make a 3, it was a 2 pointer.

    The spurs proved, they can beat the heat on their home court, now its the heat’s turn to prove they can beat the spurs at home.

    Like


  363. @ sondis

    Rofl, u right. I know something wrong with me when I can’t see it was a 2 pointer and not a 3, maybe ur one good eye is better than my 2 ok eyes

    Like


  364. mstoogood4yall:

    lmfao @ my one good eye is better. ^_^

    Like


  365. I don’t care who wins, either way it will be a hella a game

    Like


  366. I don’t care so much, either. I just have to root for a team for me to get into it.

    Like


  367. sondis what u think about the new header on this blog. I can’t tell if that person trying to whisper in her ear is a man or a woman lol. But she lookin like ninja please, I don’t have time for this, he/she lookin like hey lil momma lemme me whisper in your ear tell you something that u might like to hear[ in my ying yang twins voice} lol

    Like


  368. First off, that’s a female whispering in that sistas’s ear. I can tell by the slender neck and her profile of the right of her face.

    I think she is schoolin the sista on how to stay away from the white man, sexually. ^_^

    Like


  369. @ tara,

    “Now we can go back and forth about how black men feel about black women. You must live in the hood. If you go anywhere outside of the hood, you see nothing but bm/ww couples everywhere you go. Black women keep their heads in the sand but if you really want to know how black men feel…..follow the money trail…drops mike and walks away…..”

    nice assumption there…I don’t live in what would be considered “the hood,” but if I did…so what???…

    I do not see bm/ww everywhere, maybe you do and that is your experience. I see bm/ww every once in a while and I see bw/wm every once in a while. I actually have two cousins who are married to white men and one with a biracial child from a white man. I have two black male cousins who are married to white women. several of my older relatives are mixed from white men/black women relationships and the white fathers were all absent…

    so if anything, I am exposed to MORE black women/white men, even though I know bm/ww are more common IN THIS DAY than bw/wm. But, any way…at the end of the day Black men have stuck by me and white men have not.

    When I was in school , it was Black men who had my back and understood my pain, not white men. I will never forget the first day that I went to college, I was sitting by myself, but beside a group of white students, and they were all talking and cutting up and I was just sitting there looking stupid…

    out of nowhere, this Black woman comes up to me and asks me to sit with them and the rest of the Black students…they reached out to me, not the white students…

    I went to a private, predominately white prep school and when I was in HS, we would always have school dances and it was RARE for Black men to be at those dances, but whenever one showed up they would ALWAYS go to the Black girls immediately and dance with us. The minority of Black men there all dated Black women, with two exceptions. Two of the Black men dated ww exclusively, but 9/11 black males at the boys prep school, all dated Black women.

    In fact, I didn’t even think about bm/ww relationships and they weren’t even an issue for me UNTIL I came onto the internet and encountered the black men who were bashing black women mercilessly online…and all the negativity got to me, but since I’ve stepped away from that…they don’t bother me any more.

    I am not saying there aren’t some Black men with problems, no I’m not that delusional…there are TOO MANY Black men who are in interracial relationships with self-hate, but I do not believe that MOST Black men hate Black women like that.

    Now, if you’re out on the west coast, things could be a little different there. I have a friend from LA who tells me the Black men are HORRIBLE and won’t even consider dating Black women there, so maybe if that’s where you are, then I sympathize with you, but I am in the Southeast region of the US and I don’t see what you are seeing.

    Like


  370. ^ lmbao

    Yeah she probably is but that woman ain’t having it she lookin like *sigh* I don’t wanna hear this black stuff right now

    Like


  371. @ sondis

    dangit u beat me again with ur one good eye I thought it was a woman but sometimes u never know.

    Like


  372. mstoogood4yall:

    lol yeah, whoever that sistas is, she whispering too, if fine as wine, too.!

    I’d holla fo a dolla… ^_^

    Like


  373. @ peanut

    I think she gone now, she need to bring her stereotyping arse back in here and pic up that mic she dropped lol

    Like


  374. @ sondis

    You always hollering fo a dolla,
    Here take this cyber dollar and buy something for urself
    *hands over a crisp dollar bill* DOn’t spend it all in one place

    Like


  375. mstoogood4yall:

    LMFAO! *takes dolla and folds it in half, sticks it in my pocket. ^_^

    You hookin a brotha up, sista!

    A brotha in need, is a friend indeed…. :D

    Like


  376. most of the time when white men have expressed interest in me, it’s been sexual or superficial. so that’s why it’s so funny when abagond was writing about “white men don’t look at black women at all,” maybe they don’t…in front of people, especially a Black man, but I’ve had enough shady experiences to know better.

    Like


  377. ^ hahahaha

    Don’t go wastin that good dolla on mcdonalds or a strip club ok.
    Sondis what is ur zodiac sign

    Like


  378. mstoogood4yall:

    I’m a Capricorn…

    what’s yours?

    Like


  379. I’m a pisces

    My dad is a Capricorn too,,,,,

    Like


  380. A whole page in my email box…

    Time to delete some “off topic”, Abagond ! ;-)

    You guys just make me laugh (in a kind manner) sometimes !

    (You can delete that one too, Abagond, kind of irrelevant too)

    Er, maybe not. Here is a brief remark on all this. All I can gather from this is that America(ns) love judging other people without knowing them. Really. So much “I know you I know who you are just by looking at you”. It’s all over the place here. From all sides. Both sides sound so much the same it’s very interesting. Good stuff for sociologists and psychologists.

    It’s not better in other ways in Europe. But not that one. It can be tiresome. I’m gone, stuff to pack.

    Like


  381. mstoogood4yall:

    My father is Pisces, too. ^_^

    Like


  382. I never got asked to dance in high school by a white guy, I never got treated like a lady, I was treated like a stupid idiot and yet I had a white guy copying off my test, without my permission in my English and Latin classes…I was not helped when I needed help for the most part, but let some alcohol get in his system, let me put on a normal dress and it’s a WHOOOLE different situation altogether…that’s when the propositions start and groping and inappropriate comments. I literally had white guys ignore me all day and then night came and all of a sudden I was a video vixen…I had a white guy who was senior pull me to his chest and pet my hair like I was a dog, w/out permission, while he was drunk.

    on the dating sites, I’ve had more pictures of white man’s private parts emailed to my inbox than anything else… when I haven’t even specified my interest in white men in the first place.

    and I am NOT talking about ALL white men, so don’t even go there…I know there are some nice, white men out there who respect Black women…and do not do these things.

    Like


  383. mstoogood4yall and sondis should hook up

    Like


  384. Refusing to see white men as potential boyfriends or husbands isn’t going to prevent you from being objectified and abused. Plenty of this goes on in same race relationships.

    Using the same logic you could say black women shouldn’t date black men. Or women shouldn’t date men at all. Or nobody should date no one.

    Your best bet is to see people as individuals and not a race. That’s why you don’t just jump in the sack with someone, if you are looking for more than sex. Get to know them and their intentions will become apparent.

    There’s always a risk that other person is going to turn out to be a loser. But the possibility of finding love is worth the risk.

    The idea that I was supposed to say to my husband, “I really like you and think we have an amazing connection that I’ve never felt before, but I’m gonna have to pass so that I can wait on a black man to show up and sweep me off my feet.”, is pretty ridiculous.

    Part of the reason there is a focus on telling black women to date out is because there just aren’t enough black men. With prison and the significant amount of black men who date out there just isn’t enough of them. I didn’t include homosexuality because the rates of homosexuality are probably similar for black women.

    If part of the reason is that black men are dating out, I don’t believe it nefarious to suggest black women be open to it as well.

    Like


  385. Awesome, lol team pisces.

    I kinda hope the spurs win so I won’t have to cook my brother dinner if the heat wins.lol

    Like


  386. Peanut wtf.
    I thought u already did with ur emailing and what not. lol I can’t have ur leftovers.

    Like


  387. mstoogood4yall:

    LMFAO!! nice one, caught Peanut with a cross hook with that come back! hahah

    Like


  388. ^ lol now she silent awkward

    Like


  389. @ Cornlia

    I am not saying this to be rude but I really just need to point something out to you.

    “All I can gather from this is that America(ns) love judging other people without knowing them.”— See this statement you made. A prime example of you judging people without really knowing them. You are quick to make such statements and are equally as quick to ignore when you do some of the things you make statements on as if what you are doing has some what become Superior to others.

    Granted I don’t usually go on the defense for American culture but I also am no fan of hypocritical statements. Again I am not saying it to be rude or shame you but rather to point out something.

    Like


  390. If I am wrong or took it the wrong way then I apologize in advance but to me you come off that way at times.

    Like


  391. @ mstoogood4yall

    “@ peanut

    I think she gone now, she need to bring her stereotyping arse back in here and pic up that mic she dropped lol”—ROFL

    Like


  392. @ Solesearch

    “Your best bet is to see people as individuals and not a race.”—I agree with that. On one end I can see where some are coming from but when it comes down to it…..I had to ask myself…wait for that black man or open myself up to find love where it may come?

    Like


  393. I am not saying this out of void, Sharina.

    M husband and my children have been living in the US for two years now and have come to the same conclusion in each their environment. My husband at work (very difficult to navigate the hypocrisy, much more than in France) and my kids are amazed at the level of judgment and attempt at putting people in boxes at school.

    I don’t really understand what it is that you’re telling me you are “pointing to”. I know the US, I used to live here and I live here again. It was actually very interesting to see the US from some time ago and again now. When you are older you have another perspective on things. When I left the US to France the first time, I had another, very critical take on my own country and culture. I will again, when I go back.

    This American attitude that consist in judging others that way is also part of the Protestant attitude that consists in wanting to know everything about people.

    It’s visible in American houses: you can see almost everything inside (first, there are no hedges and very few barriers or fences. There is not much personality in the architecture. They all look the same – people also adopt extremely uniformed attitudes, in behavior, clothing, hairdoes, etc, but it varies depending on the regions). As a matter of fact, it looks as if you are supposed to be able to look and see what’s inside houses, and decide on whether it’s in accordance with the standards on not.

    Same thing with people. Other people scrutinize you and want to be able to classify and label you.

    I’m not reproaching it to anyone, I’m just saying this is what I and the rest of my family noticed (my kids quite shocked about it -like these kids in school telling others “nobody likes you” 0___0) and other non-Americans too. It’s noticeable on the net too. People want to know what “group” you belong to, so they can decide on whether what you’re saying is in accordance with it or not. And then decide that you have a problem because you don’t want to belong where you “should”.

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  394. One thing I find strange is how people will call someone attracted to black women as someone with a fetish. Well; someone not themselves black anyways.

    So its unnatural or wrong somehow to be attracted towards black women?

    And what about people’s “white fetish” how often do you see that called out?
    I mean most people don’t think about it that way; but if your only attracted to white women isn’t that a fetish?

    I mean you may have a preference for red hair but most people don’t “only” date women with red hair and can find women with other hair colors attractive as well.

    Like


  395. on Mon 10 Jun 2013 at 07:59:01 wordynerdygirl

    @Trojan Pam you copied pasted your reference (which is a direct, unattributed quote) from http://www.savethemales.ca/002030.html – an extreme conspiracy theorist blog. Nowhere in Story’s book does he claim that 30% of the Nazi military were Jews.

    I did get one thing wrong – the author of the website is a guy called Makow.

    Like


  396. on Mon 10 Jun 2013 at 08:29:40 wordynerdygirl

    @abagond back on topic: as part of an interracial couple myself (hubby is Asian) I think intermarriage between the races is fantastic.

    Agree with some of the other commenters though that it’s weird if someone has a track record of never dating their own race. I think my husband (for example) would have found it strange if I’d only Asian guys before him, and vice-versa.

    If you’re only picking people from a different race to date, then it seems to demonstrate that you (a) have a fetish (yuck) or (b) dislike something about yourself/your family.

    Like


  397. I don’t find it all that strange seeing as how many people are taught to place no value on blackness from a very early age, preferring it is not normal (white) and means you must be somehow defective.

    Like


  398. If you’re only picking people from a different race to date, then it seems to demonstrate that you (a) have a fetish (yuck) or (b) dislike something about yourself/your family.

    The reasons could be cultural or social, not just psychological. For example, if you grow up as the only Asian in your high school, there might not be any choice to date someone else.

    And even when that person goes to university, because of a lack of social experience with others more similar to them racially, they might not date them because they don’t socialize with them for cultural reasons.

    Like


  399. TrojanPam, your frame of referance is coming from Freud/Fannon and you dont even know it…you arnt bringing any original thinking, you are just reiterating things that have been written and said, probably before you were born, loaded with your western “intellectual” education…

    I can tell you I knew those women pesonaly , its you who are presuming to be able to psycho analyse them without even knowing them, I find that to be hilarious…I know how talented some of these women were, how together they were in their head, how much they werent trying to get any validation from me on their part, but were equal partners in everything we did, in the desician making , of daily life, in being supportive of each other

    And some of these women , that I didnt branch out into a long term relationship, were in total control of what they were doing, and why they were having sex with me…some were out of my league and I was just a passing fancy..left like a melting blob of jelly wondering what hit him…marked for life

    You cant try to paint me as someone who doesnt recognise the damages the legacy of slavery has had wherever slaves were brought, I have spoken about it quite often on here…I just dont tie it in with personal choices in peoples sexual lives…people are going to bring their personal hangups into any relationship..you are ignoring the huge amount of interacial relationships that are based on mutual respect and understanding and nurturing each other and their kids if they have them…There are pleny of white men in interracial relationships that do understand racism and the obsticles their black mate has to face…what a one sided narrow minded look at the situation if you ignore that

    You are so on the money about a lot of things , your blind spot about interracial dating is like a little peice of rotten bacteria on a spectacular dinner plate

    About 400 years, Christians burned people at the stake, and their agendas were behind some of the horrible things in the Bush administration, does that mean I shouldnt date a Christian woman? Islamic fundimentalists hate America and are suicide slaughtering people right now , does that mean I cant fall in love with an Islamic woman? Im all for breaking down the legacy of slavery and how it plays out in society today, but not going into the bedrooms of mutualy consenting adults, where their desicians for getting together are none of my business

    Like


  400. ahhh Solesearch, I didnt miss your little comment way back up there,you dont have to hide behind other black people, who you think Im implying superiority over, , I can speak person to person with you, and,Im in no way patronising anyone, implying I know more than anyone,

    Understanding the tragectory of Afro diasporic culture in the Americas, understanding first and formost that these cultures were attemted to be destroyed at first, understanding that these Afro diasporic cultures were harrassed, discriminated against , and banned, many times tied in with “over sexualised, or apealing to bestial tendencies”, understanding that these cultures went on to become the foundations and building blocks of the cultures they were brought to, understanding this in the context of racism and how it affects today…is basic 101 fundimental knowledge

    Either you know that incredible Afro diasporic cultures, like samba, jazz, capoeira, lambada, etc were banned and discriminated against, especialy based on stiff sexual religious moral grounds tied in with fundimental racism , or you dont

    Cultural racism is at the heart of every discussion about the media we ever had. Cultural racism is at the heart of any emotion a person could feel that something in everyday life seems to be negating who they really are at heart, and that they have to feel some kind of inferiority because of that

    Unfortunatly, everyone is extremly politicly aware these days, can bring to the table a litany of political agendas that were forged decades ago, but , there is very little ability to relate to the history of black Afro diasporic culture…otherwise, you would see, things like passisats with their naked backsides , and baile funk, are black Afro diasporic cultures that are building blocs of the cultural foundations of Brazil…instead, you go putting the moral Christian outlook of sex and shame of the body over very valid outlits of Afro diasporic expresion…

    on another note, did I see you say you are married to a white guy? If yes, I asure you we could find many points of agreement on some of these issues…

    Like


  401. @ B.R.

    “TrojanPam, your frame of referance is coming from Freud/Fannon and you dont even know it…you arnt bringing any original thinking, you are just reiterating things that have been written and said, probably before you were born, loaded with your western “intellectual” education…”

    This hardly means she is wrong.

    Like


  402. B.R., how am I hiding?

    Where do I begin with you? There is so much that could be said.

    Either you know that incredible Afro diasporic cultures, like samba, jazz, capoeira, lambada, etc were banned and discriminated against, especialy based on stiff sexual religious moral grounds tied in with fundimental racism , or you dont

    Unfortunatly, everyone is extremly politicly aware these days, can bring to the table a litany of political agendas that were forged decades ago, but , there is very little ability to relate to the history of black Afro diasporic culture…otherwise, you would see, things like passisats with their naked backsides , and baile funk, are black Afro diasporic cultures that are building blocs of the cultural foundations of Brazil…instead, you go putting the moral Christian outlook of sex and shame of the body over very valid outlits of Afro diasporic expresion…

    Black culture consists of a lot more than dance. The civil rights movement, the political agendas that were forged decades ago, is just as much part of Black culture and history as baile funk, samba, and popping and locking. I don’t think I would be out of line by saying those political agendas are even more important than those dances because without them black people would have no power to protect those cultural traditions. Black people aren’t going to gain equality with a break dancing contest.

    The fact that you can’t see black culture as anything more than a few dances is disturbing.

    From previous comments, I understand that you are/were some type of dance promoter? Either way, I get that you are heavily invested in Afro-brazilian dance and that this might be the reason you come at every issue from that perspective. Like if you have a hammer, you’ll treat everything like a nail. Or maybe you felt so attacked in that booty dancing thread that you can’t let it go.

    Black people are more than dancing. African culture is more than dancing. Dancing is not the end all, be all of African culture.

    You seem to lament the pushing out of black women from Afro-brazilian dances and white women taking over.

    Who is putting these events together? Who is profiting the most from these dances? If white women are taking over the performances, I’d bet white men are also taking over the organization and money. Do you also lament that? Or as long as black people are the face of these dances, it doesn’t matter that the power structure behind it is being dominated by whites?

    Your points about culture appropriation and the de-valuing of African cultures are very valid, but the fact that you dismiss other aspect of African culture, as nothing more than out-dated political agendas, makes you sound hypocritical and racist.

    Like


  403. All I have to say is that the comments on this post really show the power POC can obtain by refusing to have sex with White people. No matter how logical we are in explaining the harm this has on non-White people, many of the White commenters seem to be so offended by the conclusions the POC on this post have come to on this topic. I bet you that they’re not on White pride websites calling out other Whites for referring to Blacks as “Jungle Bunnies”, “Mandingos”, etc. They themselves may even know full well that some of their closest friends, family, could be arguably racist whether or not they have sexual relationships with Black people. But for us to respond logically by not having sex with Whites bothers them more. How fascinating!!

    So I declare that the sex strike needs to start NOW. Women in other countries have done so when their men mistreated them, and it worked. Sex strikes were also successful in the ancient Greek story called “Lysistrata”. So Non-White people should start their own sex strike to put this race problem on serious hold.

    What do other Non-White commenters think?

    Like


  404. Abagond, I just said TrojanPam set up a spectacular plate, I said she is weaving in veiws of interracial sex with many other things that are very true…I do disagree with the Fannon/ Freud agenda…you may not, I do…as a matter of fact I find a lot of Swiss cheese holes in it

    Solesearch, you have no idea..you think Im only reffering to dance…these political agendas are ignoring black culture..and in some cases like with Louis Armstrong and tap dancing, some of these agendas roll right over it

    No one here can speak to the Loius Armstrong incident, it was well documented on the Ken Burns jazz docu..but, people here cant seem to deal with it….do you really want to talk about black American culture? How deep downt the rabbit hole do you want to go? Can you hum a Monk tune?

    I dont get your point about comercialisation? The art of baile funk comes from the favelas, in its most raw form, same with the passistas,

    Like


  405. Solesearch, I also said I am aware that the political agendas against Armstrong and tap were part of a much bigger picture that was more important, yeah, it wasnt worth making a big deal of it back then to interupt the flow of progress, but , in reflection, it is very worth looking back and seeing the wrong direction of the bad agendas…telling people who they can have sex with and cant is total bs..a bad agenda and needs to be called out

    Really, Im laughing at these notions, and the people promoting it are just dividing black people up…and are going to fail miserably , because it aint going to happen….interracial sex is here to stay…and its going to get bigger and bigger, anyone who doesnt like it, go suk on a lemon

    Like


  406. Ms J, the title sais “my veiws on relationships between black women and white men” that is me…you want to talk behind my back about me? Are you a coward? If you dont have the guts to have a person to person conversation about a subject that is about me, what kind of conversation is that?A lame one

    Get some courage and buck up and talk to me face to face

    Like


  407. The problem is look at the damage these bs agendas do to black people..just look at the BWE thread…this agenda, has caused more inner strife and conflict than anything good…it doesnt stop racism at all, not one little crumbs worth…its grade a bs in a very stank form…feel free to wallow in it and join 400 years of white racists who started it…there is plenty of incredible company where I stand..plenty of great people from all walks of life who wont cop to this agenda…this is not a black monolithical straight up agreement…this is a small amount of people , putting out agendas that only will eliminate people from their cause and leave them out on a dry stiff limb with less and less people there to support them

    Like


  408. @ Cornlia

    You do realized you made a generalized statement on Americans right? You did not say this is my experience with Americans you have met. So basic you judge people as well, which is OK if you choose to but I was pointing out that you do. So how can you take a stance on something when you are doing it yourself? How can you scrutinize a culture from doing it but not notice when you do it? You wrote a long paragraph trying to justify why you judge and criticizes no less. It is to just say you make judgements just like the “Americans” you are complaining about.

    Like


  409. @ BR

    I don’t need to engage in name-calling or criticism of anybody, so you can stay there behind your computer screen getting upset at what I said. It shows that I’m doing the right thing by resisting the many forms of oppression towards people like myself.

    Let justice be the law of the land. Not racism/deception/violence.

    Like


  410. B.R., should I tap dance too? What does it matter if I can hum a Monk tune or not? What does that prove exactly?

    I freaking hate jazz music. It is my least favorite of all American music.

    White people aren’t ignoring jazz music. They love it. You love it. We don’t need you as an ambassador trying to explain us to us. You should really read Abagond’s post on white paternalism.

    The fact is you keep trying to reduce black cultures to music and using your historical knowledge of it to invalidate the experience of actual black people in the modern world. We are on a post about interracial dating and you’re talking about tap dancing.

    I don’t care about how many jazz songs you can sing or how many times you can make you butt cheeks bounce, you are not Black. And you don’t get to tell black people what is relevant about our lives and cultures.

    Like


  411. @Sharina,

    In a nutshell, the French and other Europeans are oh so “refined” in their treatment of Black people and other non-whites…

    That is they treat PoC sooooo much better than the Americans so much so that the French banned Muslim women from wearing the hijab in public…

    There are very few Black people on French television…

    France has a very high Black unemployment rate just like America does…

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6317799.stm,

    but in ALL fairness Sharina, i will let you be the judge of whether France is just as racists towards its Black citizens as America. You are capable of reading, analyzing, and drawing your own conclusions…

    In Germany, the small population of Afro-Germans (mostly the product of African men and German women) are constantly subjected to routine police traffic stops, friskings and even beatings….

    So yea…white men and women who sleep with Blacks are definitely not racist.

    Like


  412. So Non-White people should start their own sex strike to put this race problem on serious hold.

    What do other Non-White commenters think?

    What race problem? Most white people aren’t sleeping with black people so they probably wouldn’t care. Why do you think people who engage in interracial dating would agree to this sex strike? They don’t see it as a problem, you do.

    How do you see this helping your ambiguously termed “race problem”?

    I can interpret this idea as being anything, but ridiculous.

    Like


  413. *can’t

    Like


  414. Solesearch , jazz is black American culture and history…now get it straight, I didnt say black American history is jazz, Im saying jazz is the story of black American culture and it is a transceparent window into the reality of racism and culture assasination…you dont have to like jazz to understand that..just because you dont like jazz makes it irrelevent? You have to be kidding..

    the point about the great art of tap dancing is, in the Civil Rights Movement in the late 60’s, it was one of the agendas…it got stepped on and rolled over…like with Louis Armstrong…like how interracial dating was dealt with..agian this isnt monolithic black thinking…that is how Im tying it in..not like you are supposed to know tap dancing…personaly, I dont care if you never investigate black Afro diasporic culture at all, but all you can do is lead it back to late 60’s political agendas…you cant seem to tie in how Afro diasporic cultures in the Americas are the history of how racism was used to dissmiss , bury and destroy these cutlures but instead they became building blocks of those cultures

    You are dissmissing jazz, tap dancing..go right agead and be my guest…I dont care if people dont listen or like jazz, that isnt the point….even if white people like jazz, most of it dont understand this history or how deeply it speaks to its African roots..

    Like


  415. @ solesearch

    If race and sex isn’t a problem at hand, then why are there over 400 comments on this post but much less on other Abagond posts? Sex between Whites and Non-Whites is clearly a controversial issue. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be discussing it over and and over again.

    POC have to do something, even if simple, to resist their oppression. Either that or wave the White flag of surrender. That’s just my opinion.

    Like


  416. Also, my comment wasn’t addressed to any particular group of Non-White people. Oh course a person who’s been in a relationship with a White person wouldn’t see it from my perspective – especially if they’re White-identified. But those who know better should do better no matter who they are.

    We need to have self-respect for our bodies and not lay down with anyone who complies with our mistreatment or degredation. Sex is an intimate and powerful act.

    Like


  417. The Black Civil Rights Movement, was one of the most extrordinary movements in American history…incredible things came out of it , that contribute to 70 percent black Americans as being middle class….

    But, out of political movements, can also come agendas that can stick and the bad ones can do great damage and hang around for long periods of time, Slavery, communism, Naziism, Jim Crow, capitalism, all have negative aspects that carry over into today….

    Saying Armstrong was and uncle tom, tap dancing was shu cking and jiving for the white man and notions of who can sleep with who, are the bilige water from that great movement…yet some people want to drink it today

    These political agendas that are good that come into today are like skeletons that now need to be filled in with what today is about…black American culture was not addressed in the political movement, there is nothing wrong with looking at the past and the wrongs done….It isnt me, its Wynton Marsalis who showed us how that was wrong that was done to Armstrong..you pass it on me like a patronising white man….what a hang up…I dont care if you dont want to learn about your culture, I dont want to learn about German classical music, that doesnt mean either are less valid for that

    Like


  418. Ms J, you think you are upsetting me? Im laughing at you..Ive been interracialy dating since the mid 60’s, if you dont like interracial dating, Im right here laughing at you

    You think 400 posts means its a good healty discusion? Wrong, its a very unhealthy discusion that isnt going to affect racism one bit…the horrible things people are saying is because it is a political bilge water agenda that shouldnt even be on the table….the fact the confusion comes down even into today with so much force means it is a mandate that was not healthy or natural that devides people and pushes confrontation..its a negative discusion that wont go anywhere and wont pursuade anyone.

    Like


  419. @ Ms J

    “If race and sex isn’t a problem at hand, then why are there over 400 comments on this post but much less on other Abagond posts?”—Actually the Trayvon martin posts got more. just sayin

    Like


  420. @ B.R.

    Hey, I’m not telling you what to do. You behavior has been the sport of White men for centuries. And regardless of whatever you call it (Interracial dating, mixed race dating, etc.), it’s always going to be an act of aggression against the Black person you’ve been sexually involved with. But you probably don’t care because you don’t have to ever be Black or live in the life of your Black partners. And that’s why our people either suffer in silence or end up harboring resentment towards other Black people after entering into these relationships.

    And I think this discussion may actually turn things around in regards to this race problem. The more truth that’s put out there will mean the more potential to have justice on this planet. But people who are anti-justice will get mad, of course.

    Enjoy the rest of your day.

    Like


  421. And I will agree with B.R. in while it is 400 plus comments some are not what I would consider healthy.

    Like


  422. “And I will agree with B.R. in while it is 400 plus comments some are not what I would consider healthy.”

    Truth. And many more are just plain ignorant.

    Like


  423. these types of topics get more hits because talking about sex is more fun than talking about politics let’s be honest…and when you blends sex/politics together it’s a hot topic

    Like


  424. but I think some of the comments here are going over the top, just my opinion

    Like


  425. B.R., your comments paint you as a patronizing white man.

    do you really want to talk about black American culture? How deep downt the rabbit hole do you want to go? Can you hum a Monk tune?

    Again, I ask you what would that prove. I don’t have to sing or dance to participate in black culture. I am black culture, to be black all I had to do was be born. My culture is current and very much alive.

    The only thing you can do is investigate and analyze from the outside. I live black culture.

    I dont care if you dont want to learn about your culture, I dont want to learn about German classical music, that doesnt mean either are less valid for that

    I don’t have a problem with learning about my culture. I just have a problem with you telling me what my culture is and how I should interpret it.

    People now a days are filled to the gills with political activist rhetoric, but, are culturaly empty…cetainly culturaly ignorant..it comes out all the time on here

    There are numerous other condescending comments I could post.

    the point about the great art of tap dancing is, in the Civil Rights Movement in the late 60′s, it was one of the agendas…it got stepped on and rolled over…like with Louis Armstrong…like how interracial dating was dealt with..agian this isnt monolithic black thinking…that is how Im tying it in..not like you are supposed to know tap dancing…personaly, I dont care if you never investigate black Afro diasporic culture at all, but all you can do is lead it back to late 60′s political agendas…you cant seem to tie in how Afro diasporic cultures in the Americas are the history of how racism was used to dissmiss , bury and destroy these cutlures but instead they became building blocks of those cultures

    If you would stick to your point, instead of descending into patronizing commentary on how black people are so ignorant of their own culture, you wouldn’t have to worry about being viewed as a racist.

    You might even gain some allies. I’m obviously not against interracial marriage.

    The flaw I see in your point is that interracial dating/marriage is not black culture. Preserving black cultures and interracial marriage could easily be seen as opposite agendas, if you view black culture as some stagnant never changing thing.

    Like


  426. “phoebeprunelle @Sharina,
    In a nutshell, the French and other Europeans are oh so “refined” in their treatment of Black people and other non-whites”

    Linda says,

    After perusing all these comments, I have yet to see anyone here say that

    1. There is No racism in Europe

    or

    2. That interracial dating or marriage will Stop racism.

    Like


  427. Ms. J, I didn’t say there wasn’t any problem. I just want to force you to say what the problem instead of using the very vague phrase “race problem” which could refer to a number of things.

    How can my interracial relationship be a problem for you? It has nothing to do with you. If you don’t participate in them then what is it to you?

    If the true problem is sexual objectification of black women, then why are you not suggesting a sex strike against black men or just men in general.

    I just don’t find most people’s concerns about black women to be genuine.

    What is this sex strike supposed to accomplish?

    Like


  428. Hmm yeah it was a joke.

    Like


  429. @Ms. J,

    I responded to your inquiry over Trojan Pam’s blog under the purge movie thread.

    Like


  430. Linda:

    Linda says,

    After perusing all these comments, I have yet to see anyone here say that

    1. There is No racism in Europe

    True. In fact, in a response to B.R I said:

    ….I dont know what you mean about trusting Europe. I dont think anything has been said about it not being racist – that would be totally untrue

    Like


  431. Solesearch, you can be born black and experiance all the racism you are talking about, you can have these experiances and me being white will never know deep inside what you are going through

    But you can be born black and not know black culture…most Americans dont know their own culture, most Brazilians dont know there own culture. You have to immerse yourself in culture to get it..not pop culture…you can think Im on the outside , but, I dont think Wynton Marsalis is on the outside of understanding European classical music since he plays in symphonies

    You can be surrounded by the culture of your generation and have no idea of the origins and histoyr, and you have proved you dont know about black Afro diasporic cultures and their tragectories and histories and what happened to them because of racism

    What you think is patronising is just telling you the facts that you didnt take the time to learn

    there is no patronising here, I never tried to tell people what culture they are supposed to be practicing, but Im happy to pass the information I have humbly been blessed to receive from immersing myself in black Afro diasporic cultures

    Like


  432. Ms j, “it’s always going to be an act of aggression against the Black person you’ve been sexually involved with. But you probably don’t care because you don’t have to ever be Black or live in the life of your Black partners. And that’s why our people either suffer in silence or end up harboring resentment towards other Black people after entering into these relationships. ”

    Ms J, its called being sensitive to your partner…it is about caring…in my case, its much more than just being with “black partners”..but that doesnt matter to you…and if you see sex by all white people with black people as aggesion, yes, you definitly should never have interracial relations …and dont go to South Beach, you might faint…actualy Ill be there thursday on tour heading for New York, watching the Heat on TV

    I see what everyone is saying about the parts of black awareness that are very important are things that work on self esteem, dealing with the racist media, where cultural assasination is in constant blare , it seems that is one powerful fonte of where people can start getting messages about who and what is worthy and racist overtones, and you certainly wont be exposed to the depth of black American culture .

    Black culture is like buried treasure, you have to dig for it, and, its not that it cures racism, its that it enriches your life…Solesearch, you mentioned white people likeing jazz (actualy jazz is revered and respected as a very profund culture all over the world) .As I said , most of them arnt going to tie it into black American history , or the link to their origins, but, they enrich their lives listening to it. I would never say black people are supposed to listen to jazz, but I will say that they could enrich their lives, and , have so much more to gain than white people exactly because of the cultural tie ins…same with tap dancing. By the way, its odd debating you here about this, Im actualy in agreement about what you would say about the title of this thread

    But, to take the skeleton of the political framework that was left by the Civil Ri ghts Movement , and surround it with the bilge water of saying who people should or shouldnt sleep with, instead of putting firm meat to fill it out, like how to organise in the comunity, and, how to bring self esteem, ushering in true beauty standards, fighting for laws and vigilance on the police, many of the great subjects that Abagond does bring in and everyone discusses, …well its purplexing..just go over to the BWE thread to see even more painful fall out from this political agenda…this isnt nes to me, Ive watched this debate going on for decades now

    Like


  433. By the way ,let me clarify what Im saying so people dont mix it up

    Im not saying interracial relationships helps or makes you aware of black culture or cures racism

    I brought up tap dancing and Armstrong to point to political agendas from the 60’s, that are like the mandates of who coul have sex with who , and that these discusions are up to the hilt in these political agendas, but in th case of rolling over Armstrong and tap dancing , these agendas roll over culture

    that was my point…culture has nothing to do with interracial dating, its the weak political agendas…THAT CAME OUT OF A VERY POWERFUL RICH MOVEMENT..and these agendas ought to be examinied (hey , which we are doing)

    Solesearch, there are a lot of elbows being thrown under the boards, both the bootie thread and this one are very much a part of my life, and a lot of negative things were said about both…I am coming back strong…I agologise if some of what I said is coming off rude to you, but I asure you i am not patronising you, but I will challenge you, and , with these two subjects, there is no middle ground for me..there is no comprimise…but no one on here should think Im questioning their quest for self awareness and peeling back the layers of racism

    Like


  434. B.R.,

    A buried treasure? Really. Only a white person would view it like this. My culture isn’t buried. It is alive and well and being created everyday. I’m not any less culturally black because I’d rather read Octavia Butler and listen to Lupe Fiasco instead of booty dancing and listening to Jazz music.

    Those things are also black culture. You see black culture as something dead and archaic.

    Black culture(s) expresses itself in a wide variety of forms and has a long history and a bright future. There is no way anyone could know all there is to know about it.

    You’re just an old version of a “wigger”, thinking you’re blacker than me because you can repeat a bunch of lil wayne lyrics. It is still racist.

    Like


  435. @ c.andrews

    that is how the game is played

    black people can wear ourselves OUT giving RATIONAL and REALISTIC and FACTUAL information and examples

    and whites will wear us out coming back with all kinds of statements, protesting and pretending to be “innocent” of how racism works

    and THAT is a form of racism

    NOT telling the truth to the victims and trying to confuse and deceive them

    and that is why I refuse to explain again the difference between “power” and “money” to V-4 or any white person that basically asks the same questions over and over

    It’s a GAME I’ve seen before and I’m not playing it

    I believe ALL white people know that black people having money doesn’t give them the kinds of “white privileges” (power) that even a poor white person has

    just more cash to buy more junk we don’t need

    white people KNOW this is true and if they don’t someone should take their white privilege ID card asap

    moving on…

    Like


  436. @ V-4

    and just so you don’t think I’m talking to you via third person, read my previous response to c. andrews regarding your post to me about power VS money

    You can agree or disagree, that’s your prerogative. It won’t change what I know to be true.

    Like


  437. @ wordynerdygirl who said:

    “@Trojan Pam you copied pasted your reference (which is a direct, unattributed quote) from http://www.savethemales.ca/002030.html – an extreme conspiracy theorist blog. Nowhere in Story’s book does he claim that 30% of the Nazi military were Jews. I did get one thing wrong – the author of the website is a guy called Makow.”

    I LOVE it when white people demonstrate their ARROGANCE with black people (like me)

    First of all, you are INCORRECT about my source.

    I DID NOT COPY OR PASTE my reference from that website you mentioned. I have NEVER even heard of that website but in your ARROGANCE, you (like other white posters on this thread and others)

    believe you can — in complete confidence — tell me (a black person) what my reference is, what source I used, what I think, why I think it, that I can’t think (for myself)

    and what I ate for breakfast (I’m still waiting to hear that one)

    Case in point, you remind me of B.R. who said

    ““TrojanPam, your frame of referance is coming from Freud/Fannon and you dont even know it…you arnt bringing any original thinking, you are just reiterating things that have been written and said, probably before you were born, loaded with your western “intellectual” education…”

    JUST buckets and buckets of words SIGNIFYING NOTHING

    B.R. never met me, but he already knows how I think and what I think and how I don’t think for myself and that my “thinking” came from “western” (white) intellectuals

    White people AND THEIR ARROGANCE is a GREAT ILLUSTRATION for black people of what white racism looks like a refined form.

    No, they don’t use the “N” word but underneath the words they use is a PATRONIZING, SUPERIOR and CONTEMPTUOUS tone

    aka WHITE SUPREMACIST MINDSET

    which goes as follows:

    “Look, Negro, I know what you think and why you think, where you got that thought from, because I’m pretty doggone sure, Negro, that you didn’t think it up for yourself,”

    and so UNLIKE a WHITE PERSON, I don’t have the RIGHT OR THE ABILITY to think for myself OR voice my OWN OPINION because as I have been so often reminded,

    “I don’t have an original thought, cause “I’m loaded with western (white) thinking”

    And even though there are hundreds of references out there in the vastness of cyberspace, you, wordynerdgirl — in all your SUPERIOR WHITE WISDOM –

    TOLD (not asked) ME where I got the quote from (even though you were WRONG)

    AND to top it off YOU said with UTTER CONFIDENCE that “Nowhere in Story’s book does he claim that 30% of the Nazi military were Jews.”

    and YOU KNEW that without even reading the book (I bet) or HAVING a copy of the book and definitely without KNOWING if I HAVE A COPY OF THE BOOK

    but being of a SUPERIOR WHITE MIND you felt you could say it

    and get away with it

    FYI —

    No, I will NOT give you the reference I used. You might not believe me and I will not debate that with you.

    NOR do I have to prove ANYTHING to a superior WHITE PERSON who already knows it all anyway

    I’ll just let YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY ON A COPY and then you’ll know for sure whether it’s in the book (it IS)

    I just LOVE IT WHEN WHITE PEOPLE PROVIDE A BETTER DEMONSTRATION OF WHITE SUPREMACY THAN I EVER COULD

    so the Black Victims can SEE for themselves how INGRAINED this White Supremacy BELIEF SYSTEM is in the brain computers of white people, so much so that it HAPPENS AUTOMATICALLY

    And MY GOAL is to help other black people UNDERSTAND that there is NOTHING we can do to convince them that we are EQUALLY HUMAN (and sometimes just as smarter and occasionally a lot smarter)

    so we should STOP trying

    THANKS A BUNCH, for making my CASE for me, wordynerdygirl and B.R.

    (I really mean that)

    Like


  438. PLEASE PUT ALL YOUTUBE LINKS IN PARENTHESES!

    This thread is already well past the 300 comment mark and could well reach two to three times that.

    Thank you.

    Like


  439. @ rollingwriter

    I deleted your comment. It was way off topic.

    Like


  440. @ solesearch

    that’s exactly what I addressed in my last post

    that old great white father and mother complex where they know what blacks are, how we feel and what we think better than we do

    it’s no different that it was for our parents and grandparents back in the day

    the same old white arrogance

    Like


  441. @ oogenhand

    I deleted two of your comments. All comments must be in English.

    Like


  442. @TrojanPam

    For whatever reason, you want to believe black people lack any power or free agency in the world.

    And your dedicated to that, no matter what I say, your just going to disagree.

    Money means more than just material goods, it means social services and general resources as well.

    You yourself have to admit that a black person can do more with ten million than they can do with ten grand.

    But at the end of the day none of this will change the truth, black people have to deal with racism but that also doesn’t change the truth that money, wealth, and position give people advantages in life, they can send their kids to better colleges, get better doctors, medicine, have better jobs, live in better neighborhoods etc….so on and so forth.

    Money doesn’t just get you better goods, it gets you a better life and expands the capacity to “do” period.

    And while we obviously aren’t going to come to an agreement, you completely avoided answering the other questions.

    You can deny that black people with more money don’t have more privileges than poor black people and thats your desired reality, I can’t change that.

    Which brings up another question you keep saying “junk” why the assumption that black people are going to make poor decisions with their money? Maybe they will buy new cars/parts/computers/any wide variety of items that can have a serious life impacting nature?

    And what about the nature of sexism? Why is it okay for black men to oppress and degrade black women?

    Over on Peanuts blog there is a documentary about Black Men going to Brazil; where they mention about how women should know their place, make their meals, put straws in their drinks and be more submissive to their men they didn’t want to frame it as submissive but thats what they were saying.

    I mean; its not really being said don’t let people oppress and degrade you its being said “only” let black men oppress and degrade you.

    One of the things that gets brought on this board is intersection; what difference to black women does it make if they go from bad relationships with one kind of men to another how has it made their lives better?

    I mean why suggest to black women to do the sex lock down, black men at a “minimum” date at least twice as many white people as black women wouldn’t it be more effective if they were the ones to iniate this course of action?

    Like


  443. @ V-4

    I’m responding because you are perhaps unintentionally distorting what I said and saying I said things I never said for example:

    “You can deny that black people with more money don’t have more privileges than poor black people.”

    I never said that.

    What I said was IN a white supremacy society, black people may have MONEY but they do NOT have real POWER.

    Having money allows you to BUY more things and go more places than a person with less (and that’s true for non-whites and non-whites)

    But MONEY alone does NOT necessarily give you the POWER to CHANGE those things you don’t like or STOP you from being a victim of injustice AKA racism

    with all the money Bill Cosby had, he did NOT have the power to buy NBC

    with all the money Wesley Snipes had he did NOT have the power to change the FELONY CONVICTION OR PRISON SENTENCE for a misdemeanor tax offense —

    and the white males he was associated with WHO DID THE SAME THING, who HAD LESS MONEY AND FAME than Wesley Snipes

    DID NOT GET CHARGED OR GO TO JAIL BUT WERE ALLOWED TO PAY WHAT THEY OWED

    and there are too many examples, STARTING WITH THE TOTAL DISRESPECT THE BLACK MALE MILLIONAIRE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES AND HIS BLACK WIFE GET FROM WHITE PEOPLE WITH A LOT LESS MONEY — EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK

    I will admit i have NO PATIENCE for all white people who PRETEND NOT TO KNOW THAT THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE between the way white people VS black people are treated

    — regardless of how much money that black person has because EVERY WHITE PERSON OVER THE AGE OF 21 KNOW BETTERS

    We will just have to agree to disagree. I will not respond to any more comments from you to me on this point

    and if you want to post something I allegedly said, please post the QUOTE of what I said.

    Thank you.

    .

    Like


  444. @TrojanPam

    Another question; hasn’t historically speaking one of the biggest uses of racism been to seperate the poor and common peoples of the world via race so as to help the elite maintain their hold on society and its resources?

    The whole Francis Bacon Rebellion thing.

    If so; and breaking up the races and keeping them apart from one another has been one of the main goals of racists, than aren’t you doing “exactly” what the White Supremecists Global Organization wants by saying that the races shouldn’t have relations with one another?

    Like


  445. @TrojanPam

    Your the one who says that black people lacked power to change society or their enviroment.

    From the beginning my argument has been that more money means “more” power, not that it was the same as white people in those scenarios.

    With more money you can buy things, go to more places , start up organizations, improve the life of your family and friends etc…

    Whether on a personal or group level it is still more powerful and that is something a white supremecists organization wants on no level whatsoever

    You said it did not but now your saying that; no they do have more power just not as much as white people, so apparently you agree with me.

    At no point did I deny the disrespect or to the president or racism against black people but at the same time, Obama is still a very powerful person.

    Like


  446. Can you hum a Monk tune?

    ?
    .
    .
    .
    What the fuck does that have to do with anything?

    @Legion

    Wutt??? Did i miss something? Who said that? LMBO

    Like


  447. Here goes again, I dont know if moderator deleted my post about interacila relationship being akin to child abuse or at best immoral under the current system of White Supremacy. I guess nobody wnats too touch that SMOKIN GUN !!! I used another anology to illustrate the point of a warden having a sexual relationship with a prisoner or a teacher having relations with their student even if such student is over 18 and lastly a doctor having sexual relations with a patient. All these are the same as a white person who is way more powerful having sexual realtions with a non white person under this current system of white supremacy. sometimes they try to hide behind marraige-Non white people collectively are treated like idiot children under this society. Why not devote all your time to dismantling this system so all people will be uNIVERSAL and on equal footing. I hope Abagond approve this post because it is very constructive and those naysayers that disagree are looking through rose colored glasses indeed !!!

    Like


  448. Pres Obama has no real power to affect meaningful change for his people, just check out his commencemrnt speech to Morehouse, It was degrading , it had the smell of Mistah Charlie aka White Supremacist written ALL over it… Under this society you can be a black trillionaire walking down any urban street on the globe and you may be mistreated and or abused just based on your skin color and nothing else by a white person, you may or may not get a little relief if they find out you got some money, sometimes that makes it even worse on you- they may brand you an uppity arrogant nigger- so sad but TRUE….Oh I forgot, look what the Mexicans did to malcome X grandson- to them he was just a nigger and he died in Mexico as just a nigger, you think if he had more money the would not have callously taken his life?????? Think again….

    Like


  449. @ V-4

    who said: “@TrojanPam — hasn’t historically speaking one of the biggest uses of racism been to seperate the poor and common peoples of the world via race so as to help the elite maintain their hold on society and its resources?”


    ME: the WHITE elite already control most of the world and its resources — even when it (falsely) appears that non-whites are in charge, case in point, SOUTH AFRICA, JAPAN, MEXICO, etc.

    Whites created the FALSE concept of ‘RACE” in order to practice racism — SO, other than geography, whites and non-whites are already separated in terms of access to opportunities and privileges and “rights” — and as hard as black people have BEGGED, PLEADED, CRIED AND DIED IN EVERY WHITE MAN’S WAR SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THIS (STOLEN) NATION

    NOTHING HAS WORKED TO MAKE WHITE PEOPLE STOP PRACTICING RACISM

    AND at some point, like NOW, some of us have said

    ENOUGH!

    AND the best thing for black people to get WHOLE and SANE again is to STOP SLEEPING WITH OUR TORMENTORS and OPPRESSORS

    and that is EXACTLY what the White Supremacists DON’T want us to do

    That is their BIGGEST FEAR, that black males and females will STOP SEEKING WHITE VALIDATION IN AND OUT OF THE BEDROOM

    and will START TO HEAL OURSELVES and we can’t do that by having sex with white people –who COLLECTIVELY — are STILL WAGING WAR AGAINST US

    which is why THE WHITE SUPREMACIST MEDIA that owns and controls every MAJOR black website (that’s power) and every TV STATION and MOVIE STUDIO is promoting sex with white people for black people

    LIKE NORTH GOING FORTY

    because they KNOW that SINGLE ACT — SEX– will KEEP US PSYCHOLOGICALLY SICK AND SEEKING WHITE VALIDATION and DIVIDED FROM EACH OTHER

    Instead of BLACK MALES AND FEMALES UNITED TO FIGHT THE WHITE SUPREMACY SYSTEM THAT IS KEEPING US OPPRESSED.

    Like


  450. @ V-4

    As I said before

    I will NOT respond to your comments on the subject of power,

    so I suggest you move on to either another poster OR to another topic

    Like


  451. @ Legion

    WOW. You just put it all out there didn’t you. LOL

    Like


  452. Well said Trojan Pam !!!! as my mama used to tell me when all was said and done, Nuff Said…… you summed it up pretty well and covered ALL your bases!!!!!

    Like


  453. “If the true problem is sexual objectification of black women, then why are you not suggesting a sex strike against black men or just men in general.
    I just don’t find most people’s concerns about black women to be genuine.”

    Thank you, Solesearch.

    Like


  454. @ Legion

    you’re right, she did not SAY I was an anti-semite

    BUT she did say the following:

    “Apart from the grossly offensive anti-Semitism of this claim, how can you rely upon such an unreliable source for your information?”

    There are TWO THINGS wrong with her statement

    #1 — I did NOT rely on any “Brian Riggs” because I do NOT know who he is — and her ASSUMPTION that SHE KNOWS what I’m reading — without ASKING ME, is a problem.

    #2 — I posted what I posted because I BELIEVE THIS “CLAIM” IS TRUE and have believed it LONG before I found Abagond’s post

    so it was logical (in my opinion) to take it one step further to assume that me (and anyone else) believing it was true makes me (and anyone else)

    ALSO guilty of being

    “…grossly offensive anti-Semitism…”

    Of course, you can disagree with my logic, that’s your prerogative

    what I find highly suspect — and SO totally EXPECTED, Legion

    (for reasons I won’t go into)

    is how you are defending her statements and saying I’m “smearing” her

    so let me post some of your recent comments like:

    (to me) “So Pam, what’s your source? You don’t have one, do you?”

    (to Linda) “There’s a time for “rudeness” and a time to keep from being “rude”.* We’re adults and you have to decide when it needs to be done.”

    It’s obvious to me at least that you (seem to) have “issues” (with me)

    and that’s fine, it’s COOL, really because I’m not here to win a popularity contest

    I’m trying to share information and post my opinions

    but, please, let’s dialogue (or not) absent all the moral outrage

    Like


  455. @ Legion

    once again the sarcasm and all the emotion

    instead of HONEST dialogue

    which I think reflects a heck of a lot MORE on you

    than on anything I could ever say

    (but who am I to spoil anyone’s fun?)

    carry on…

    Like


  456. @ Legion

    apologizing to WHOM for WHAT?

    I would strongly SUGGEST you get control of yourself

    you’re revealing FAR too much about yourself

    (and your ill intentions)

    if you find my postings so objectionable

    you always have the OPTION to put me on IGNORE

    Like


  457. @ c. andrews

    this is cyberspace (isn’t it?)

    NOT the United Nations, or a Miss Manners class or a boxing ring

    so I’ll do my best to confine my comments to the TOPIC AT HAND

    Like


  458. @TrojanPam

    Before the civil rights movements black people had much stronger family units and dated out much less.

    If anything doesn’t that suggest that keeping to themselves does more to limit their access to resources and legal/civil rights?

    And why should the White Supremecists fear black women not wanting to date out; even when they didn’t they just raped them.

    And yet; whites do pull back on racism, a war to end slavery, the vicil rights movements, they started making legal consequences for raping black women back in the mid-1960’s, affirmative action, at the very least having to suffer the loss of face and pretend a black man is their boss, the world isn’t what it could or should be but it is improvingv, racism is losing power if only far more slowly than would be preferred.

    Yes the white elite control much of the resources of the world and one of the methods they do so is via racism to keep the common man seperate by race.

    And doesn’t Cornia; a foreign woman say the opposite that it seems like people have to practically be brother and sister in the US for them to be married on tv?

    @c.andrews

    If Malcom X’s grandson had been a billionaire more than likely he would have been hanging out with a different crowd and still alive today.

    I maybe wrong but I suspect the death by violent means rate is probably notably lower for the super rich than it is for anyone else.

    So you are honestly referring to black people as infantile and idiot-children?

    White people aren’t superior to black people; relationships that include marriage usually invovle adults, white people get treated better and as a group have more power but individually middle class and down don’t really have a huger power difference between them and black people aside from their being more of them but again thats group vs individual.

    Here’s a question about Obama, considering that Presidents seem to represent the elite the most, how well have the black super elite been doing? I know the elite in general is doing great economically while the rest of the country is in a depression so hows it going for them?

    As for why I don’t work at dismantling oppresion; one I’m a coward when it comes down to it, two I have no power to affect change, three I have no ideas for what could really do it that we aren’t already practicing on some level.

    Like


  459. WTF !!!! All I did was agree with your postings concerning POWER, SEX, and MONEY, that be the TOPIC AT HAND. This posting above sounds like a TROLL, You aint gonna divide and conquer on this issue because I still AGREE with you, Money dont =POWER and Non whites SEXING Whites do not =counter racism

    Like


  460. @ c. andrews

    that’s why it’s important to understand racism/white supremacy AND how it is practiced and used to CONFUSE and SHAME the victims out of CLARITY

    we also have to be careful NOT to get drawn into pointless and negative dialoguing that drains our emotional and mental resources

    I’m working on doing a better job of that

    Like


  461. @TrojanPam

    “By the 1930′s, 60% of all German Jewish marriages were interracial. In his book, “Hitler’s Jewish Soldiers” Brian Rigg states that 155,000 Nazi soldiers had Jewish blood, including some generals.”

    the book: “Christopher Story, author of “The New Underworld Order”

    Your source seems to specifically cite Brian Rigg there.

    Like


  462. @c.andrews

    What aspect of my post came off as trollish?

    Like


  463. Also what about the sexism angle again?

    It is after all a white “Male” supremecy, should I be celebite and never in a relationship at all until the world is cured of its ills?

    Like


  464. that’s all right, please disregard that posting, I apologize for referring to you as a possible troll. I am getting confused as to who is responding to whom in these posting. I think I will bow out of this thread -too many people posting at the same time…. sorry if I offended anyone

    Like


  465. @ V-4

    I stand corrected. Thanks for clearing that up.
    .
    However, she was NOT correct to say I copied and pasted it from the website she named. I never heard of that website.

    She might be right that Brian Rigg is a so-called “anti-Semetic” but her saying it does NOT make it so. She would do better to give me HER SOURCES that prove he is one

    the same way I”m being asked to VALIDATE my opinions.

    Frankly, I have found that ANYONE who disagrees with the “history” we’ve been fed by Hollywood about the Holocaust is automatically labeled “anti-semitic” — and I have a problem with that.

    I was gave one my sources because I was asked to give a source.

    Riggs is not the only one who believes that Jews participated and financially benefited from the Holocaust.

    And I don’t find it hard to believe that a Jewish (non-white) minority may have desired marriage with the (white) German majority

    that is what oppressed minorities do

    they seek to assimilate

    so It is NOT outside the realm of possibility that there were many Jews marrying whites before the Nazi hammer came down on them

    I don’t see that as “anti-Semitic” and those who do

    well, that’s THEIR problem, not mine

    Like


  466. @ c. andrews

    I thought you were referring to the poster (Legion) who was posting to me not V-4

    We all make mistakes especially when a lot of people are posting and we’re trying to remember who said what.

    I made a mistake earlier, and V-4 politely corrected me,

    I’ve enjoyed your commentary so please don’t be discouraged.

    Like


  467. @ c.andrews

    It just dawned on me that you might have thought my post about cyberspace and Miss Manners was aimed at you

    It was definitely NOT.

    I was referring to the tongue-lashing that Legion was giving me earlier

    sorry if I made it appear that way

    Like


  468. @ TrojanPam, will do, this is certainly constructive brain excercising- following these postings. It is amazing I only got confused a few times but watch out when I really get a handle on following these mega postings, lol !!!!!

    Like


  469. @ c. andrews

    Whew, I’m glad I caught it because it definitely was not directed at you. :-)

    I posted a quote from a book as a source and was so busy defending myself that I forgot his name was mentioned!

    (( shaking head at myself ))

    Like


  470. I@TrojanPam I jUST knew that you were not posting at me, I thought someone may have been a Troll using your name or something cause I know it be a LOT of HATERS on some of these postings. From now on I will refer by name in the postings directly . But I sure am glad I have not offended you……

    Like


  471. has anyone heard of the article where the white husband calls the black wife the n-word during sex???

    “Dear Abiola,

    My man keeps calling me a “nigger bitch” during sex and I hate it.

    I have been married for a year and I am at my wit’s end. My investment banker husband is from a White old money family. I am a first generation Black-American woman whose family is from the island of Jamaica. We met at a reunion for the ivy league school we both attended, and he proposed in six months.

    We have the picture perfect fantasy life. He wines and dines me and we travel and shop the globe. Unlike all of the Black men I dated in the past, my husband is generous, loyal, committed and considerate. He courted me and I never have to pay for anything. He said I could quit my job and I did. He makes me feel like a woman.

    I am a little embarrassed to share our problem. The first time he let the n-word drop was during sex on our honeymoon. When I reacted negatively, he explained that a Black woman he dated in the past enjoyed being called racial slurs. Another time he joked that he had purchased my freedom. He also speculated about whether his family could have owned mine because I have “good hair.” Then he made jokes about my pubic hair. He called it my “negro bush” and referred to himself as a “nigger lover.” He says I am being overly sensitive because he loves me to death and should get a “Black pass” for marrying me.

    I told him that I don’t appreciate these comments and he says that my friends and family probably use the n-word all the time. He also asked why Black people can use the word and he cannot. I don’t use the word or believe in the nigga/nigger differentiation. Neither does my family. I am too embarrassed to tell anyone about this because I know they might say: “That’s what she gets for marrying a White man.”

    Every time we try having sex again, the slurs fly. Our sex life is pretty much over right now because I pretend to be asleep every time my sexy, handsome man wants to be with me. I feel completely turned off. I love my husband deeply so please don’t tell me to leave him because that’s not what I want to do.

    My husband was my first interracial relationship. Please tell me racial slurs aren’t normal between interracial couples? I would like to figure this out before we have kids but I can’t afford to leave him and still maintain my lifestyle.

    How can I regain my sexual attraction for my husband?

    Signed,

    Black and Proud”

    http://www.essence.com/2013/04/08/intimacy-intervention-my-husband-uses-racial-slurs-during-sex

    Like


  472. @ c. andrews

    likewise

    Like


  473. @peanut

    Far as the first article goes; thats a pretty messed up situation, she doesn’t want to leave him but she’s tried explaining how she feels about racial slurs and she is uncomfortable with there use at a minimum.

    Should just tell him if he doesn’t stop she’ll leave him but I doubt that will happen.

    As for the “negro bed wench” video; I could guess maybe part of that is the idea that you could get someone to break their “moral” values out of desire for them.

    Possibly easy sex; they call up some dude, get what they want out of him and go on with their life, no fuss no muss.

    And last but not least; internalized racism.

    Like


  474. on Tue 11 Jun 2013 at 06:14:53 THE ALCHEMIST

    The pro-black counter racists on this thread will some day, I hope, realize that misogynoir (hatred of black women) wrapped in Kente cloth is still just misogynoir. Keep talking and waving the Willie Lynch Letter around and black women will continue the slow exit from the black community. The Achillies heel of pro-black/counter racist thought is the refusal to address the depth of the contempt for black women in the hearts and souls of contemporary black men. How many more ass whiippings, rapes, verbal denigration do you expect black women to suffer in silence in the name of black unity? If black women are starting to consider dating white men (this shocks me just as much as it does some of you) this should be a red flag that even the long suffering loyal to a fault black woman has a limit on the amount of abuse and emotional neglect she can withstand. Yes some BW in IRR have issues with internalized racism and anti-blackness and others have realized that black men are not a “safe harbor” and have become narcissists in their dealings with black women. I don’t care how many layers of Kente cloth pro-black counter racists wrap their misogynoir in; it’s still misogynoir.

    Like


  475. on Tue 11 Jun 2013 at 08:20:52 wordynerdygirl

    @Legion thanks for clarifying what my post meant. You’re absolutely right: I was (rightly) questioning the source, not making an ad hominem attack.

    @TrojanPam To claim that the Jewish people engaged in the mass-killing of their own people is not only erroneous, it is outrageously offensive. That is what the source you quoted from is claiming (i.e. by saying that 30% of the Nazi force were Jews).

    In your additional posts you have made other worrisome statements. You said, for example:

    “Frankly, I have found that ANYONE who disagrees with the “history” we’ve been fed by Hollywood about the Holocaust is automatically labeled “anti-semitic” — and I have a problem with that.”

    What do you mean by disputing the history? Are you denying the Holocaust? There are millions of descendants of those who died, as well as still living survivors who would take issue with that.

    I’m not sure where your nearest Holocaust museum is but if you take the time to visit you will be able to witness the historical evidence of what the Nazis did. I suggest that this is a more reliable, authoritative source that an internet conspiracy site.

    I’m not arguing with you for the sake of arguing or to negate the validity of your arguments about the barriers erected by white supremacy. I was just quite shocked when I read some of the statements about Jewish people which you made in this post.

    Like


  476. @ wordynerdygirl who said: “You’re absolutely right: I was (rightly) questioning the source, not making an ad hominem attack.”

    ME: No, you were doing MORE than that. You told me that I copied and pasted the info from a source that WAS NOT CORRECT instead of ASKING me.

    Also.

    I do NOT find my claim or the claims of many individuals that Jews participated in the mass killing THE SAME WAY that many white people will say that Africans participated in the SLAVE trade — and a small number did.

    When there is MONEY to be made, people will OFTEN act against their so=called GROUP to make a profit or to get rid of a defeated enemy

    And I will state this AGAIN because I believe it is TRUE:

    “Frankly, I have found that ANYONE who disagrees with the “history” we’ve been fed by Hollywood about the Holocaust is automatically labeled “anti-semitic” — and I have a problem with that.”

    Because Hollywood does NOT tell the TRUTH ABOUT ANYTHING — especially black people SO it is NOT difficult to believe that the PEOPLE who CONTROL HOLLYWOOD (and I think you know who I mean)

    would paint their OWN HIS-STORY in the MOST FLATTERING and SYMPATHETIC LIGHT — WHICH THEY DO and will NEVER LET US FORGET IT

    I never said the Holocaust didn’t happen (this is exactly what I mean, all the OVER -EXAGGERATION of going from me saying Jews participated to me NOW saying the Holocaust never happened to stop people from talking at all

    This GROSS Victim attitude whenever someone questions a SINGLE DETAIL of that HISTORY is what I have a problem with

    while the SAME PEOPLE via the media make a MOCKERY of BLACK VICTIMIZATION AND BLACK PEOPLE

    please, I am not guilty one here

    I ALSO believe — KNOW — that the GREATEST HOLOCAUST IN MODERN HUMAN HISTORY WAS THE AFRICAN HOLOCAUST where OVER 100 MILLION AFRICANS DIED DURING THE TRANSATLANTIC SLAVE TRADE.

    A Museum created by the same people who CONTROL their HISTORY and how the story is told

    DOESN’T PROVE ANYTHING BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT

    That doesn’t mean that anything outside that “museum” is incorrect

    Please, don’t be shocked. We’re all just posting our opinions

    I posted mine. and I’m sure this isn’t the first time you read comments like mine so I’m surprised that you’re shocked.

    ALSO, since I posted my sources, why don’t you post a few of yours that prove your position? That would be more convincing than just saying I’m incorrect.

    Like


  477. on Tue 11 Jun 2013 at 10:33:30 wordynerdygirl

    @TrojanPam here are links to just a few of the tens of thousands of peer reviewed articles dealing with the historical evidence for the Holocaust:

    http://www.jstor.org/stable/3791968
    http://www.jstor.org/stable/40179711
    http://www.jstor.org/stable/3791988
    http://www.jstor.org/stable/3791271
    http://www.jstor.org/stable/1042574

    The first link is very relevant as it discusses the reason why some people so readily accept the claims made by Holocaust deniers despite the wealth of primary historical evidence to the contrary.

    The reason why I recommended visiting a Holocaust museum is because you will be able to witness primary sources of evidence there, for example photographs of mass graves filled with the bodies of the Jewish people who were massacred, correspondence between Nazi leaders etc.

    Like


  478. look, i find your blog insightful and provocative, but this post was just kind of stupid. you completely contradicted yourself— you said that many black women do not find white men attractive because they grew up around black men— not because they are racist. but then you say that if a white man doesn’t find a black woman attractive, they are racist? what if they just grew up around whites and they find other whites more attractive?

    i don’t understand your logic here, i think you need to think through this some more. as good as you are about pointing out kneejerk reactions that society has indoctrinated us with, you’ve got a few of those same reactions yourself— and i think you need to recognize that fact and neutralize those preconceived notions if you’re going to continue to be an important blogger on this topic especially.

    Like


  479. by the way, LOL i know my post isn’t going to get read— with all the morons on here it’s kind of hard to communicate through the static.

    Like


  480. Pray tell what is INTERNALIZED RACISM, is it the opposite of EXTERNALIZED RACISM, ????? words are EXTREMELY important and using them CORRECTLYespecially in these days and times are even more important. Before I rush to judgement and think these words are of no importance to non white people I will wait to get yours response….. but it be sounding like buckets and buckets of words, could be wrong though

    Like


  481. @ Daniel Bryant

    I expect most white women to wind up with white men because of where most of them grew up. What I did NOT expect is the way MANY white men seem to feel, zero attraction towards even great-looking black women. After all, black women are still women and white men are still men, so you expect basic biology to apply.

    Like


  482. peanut, in regards to that article, while I do find it strange and disgusting, I’m not shocked. Well, I might be a little shocked because its the first time I’ve heard of this happening in bw/wm relationships.

    I’ve heard of using racist language in bed between ww/bm as a way to enhance the sex because it plays on the taboo nature( white women arent supposed to sleep with animalistic, inferior black men) of the sex.

    I get the impression that it is just as enjoyable for the bm as the ww.

    I can’t comprehend how being degraded would be enjoyable especially not by someone I love during the most vulnerable of acts, but obviously some people find it enjoyable.

    Donald Glover, a black comedian talking about it:
    (http://youtube.com/watch?v=Pjr1LJTrzIg)

    Like


  483. @Abagond,

    Who said:

    what I did NOT expect is the way MANY white men seem to feel, zero attraction towards even great-looking black women. After all, black women are still women and white men are still men, so you expect basic biology to apply.

    But really Abagond is that the truth…not just for white men but for other men as well as like Alchemist said above, it is men (Black, white and to a lesser extent Asian ones) who are mostly on the internet and other media outlests engaging in character assassination of Black women…i was always taught that if you didn’t like someone, you didn’t pay attention to them?

    Maybe i am misinterpreting what you are saying?

    Like


  484. Awwww man Abagond, you sound soooo pitiful and pathetic,you said ” What I did NOT expect is the way MANY white men seem to feel, zero attraction towards even great-looking black women.” I guess this may have ‘internalized racism” written all over it. Now we have one of our most educated finest (I assume you to be a black male but could be wrong) loathing the appeareance of white men not lusting after they own Black women. white people are supreme because they do a job on our pitiful pathetic fragile psyche. It will be ok Abagond, plenty of white men still be secretly lusting after us black women. Hope that makes you feel better, smdh……Let me play the devil’s advocate for a sec, let us say that 25% or more of white males feels a lot of attraction towards black females , would that make us more valuable in your eyes, in other words would a black male feel more self esteem if he knows his women are sexually attractive to the dominate people( white) ???

    Like


  485. @ Daniel Bryant

    I always find it quite telling that some of the most ignorant individuals seems to be the ones that are quick to call others morons and ignore the complete moronic behavior they display. But don’t mind me. Carry on.

    Like


  486. I think some people throw internalized racism around like it is confetti. “you don’t agree with me…..your white or suffering from internalized racism.” “You married outside your race….internalized racism.” etc. Done with my rant for today.

    Like


  487. @ phoebeprunelle

    “i was always taught that if you didn’t like someone, you didn’t pay attention to them?”—I was taught that as well which makes you wonder. I always consider those types to be men scorned.

    Like


  488. lets not lump African American women with the rest of black women now huge huge difference and if you call anyone who is black (say Barbados for example) African American that’s an insult to the 100th degree.
    I’m white and male and have dated a TON of black women mostly from the islands or off South America and have had incredible relationships with them and most are drawn to white men like myself.
    FYI go ask a black guy what their ultimate prize is and he will tell you a white woman and I’m talking about not even attractive white women I would give two looks at.

    Like


  489. I see the summer time trolls are here in full force stereotyping everyone smh

    Like


  490. The flaw I see in your point is that interracial dating/marriage is not black culture. Preserving black cultures and interracial marriage could easily be seen as opposite agendas, if you view black culture as some stagnant never changing thing.

    @Solesearch

    I know that you were responding to B.R., but i am curious to know what you mean by it?

    Like


  491. DKB, the only people I’ve encountered who think all black people are African-American are white people. They don’t understand that you have to be American to be African-American.

    Like


  492. phoebe, I’m not sure what you are confused about?

    I meant marrying outside of our race isn’t a cultural practice. People do it but it’s not traditional or expected.

    If you believe black culture can only take influences from black people and can’t adapt in response to non-African influences then black culture can’t exist in an integrated society, let alone one where interracial relationships are common.

    Like


  493. @Solesearch,

    Ok, now i see your point.

    Like


  494. @ Legion

    I won’t deny what he has pointed out but his stance of deciding to call others morons just made him ignorant. I know you know as well as I do that some times how you approach a person will determine their wiliness to listen to you. now while I do not agree with some commenters in here I will not presume them to be a moron just because of it. It is as if he is stating that I can’t debate so I will just get the personal attacks out because I excel at calling names like a child.

    Childish would be the best word for the second comment.

    Like


  495. @ mstoogood4yall

    You know it! It is funny though that many of them don’t realize that black youth are from black islander families. It also amazes me how quick they are to conclude that the 5 black women they met are the definition of all black women. LOL.

    Like


  496. @ Phoebe

    I do not understand what you are asking.

    Like


  497. continued
    @ Legion

    I also consider what he did a form of disrespect and if you lack respect for someone then they will shut you off to. Now I will not say he is not forgivable in his comments because I have forgiven eco (who was a pain with all the stats tell me so bs) but we will see or not.

    Like


  498. @ Daniel Bryant,

    “you said that many black women do not find white men attractive because they grew up around black men— not because they are racist. but then you say that if a white man doesn’t find a black woman attractive, they are racist? what if they just grew up around whites and they find other whites more attractive?

    i don’t understand your logic here, i think you need to think through this some more. as good as you are about pointing out kneejerk reactions that society has indoctrinated us with, you’ve got a few of those same reactions yourself— and i think you need to recognize that fact and neutralize those preconceived notions if you’re going to continue to be an important blogger on this topic especially.”

    then how come more white men marry asian women??? did they grow up around asian women too…when black women are a larger percentage of the population…

    Like


  499. @ C. Andrews

    “Let me play the devil’s advocate for a sec, let us say that 25% or more of white males feels a lot of attraction towards black females , would that make us more valuable in your eyes”

    Of course not. I have a mind of my own. I know what I think.

    Like


  500. some black women who are with white men are treated like prostitutes.

    Like


  501. I remember watching this video on Youtube and it was a Black woman saying that she would never date interracial again because of a bad experience she had with a white man.

    They were out on a dinner date and afterwards they drove back and they were pulled over by a white police officer who had to check the IDS and basically he said that he pulled them over because “this was a high prostitution area,” or something…so basically he thought the black woman with the white man was a prostitute and when the black woman brought this up to the white male, he denied it and said race had nothing to do with it…i wish i could find that video…

    every day more and more things are coming to light in my mind

    Like


  502. @ DKB/ solesearch,
    amen I remember in my intercultural communication class of all places (the same class where my white classmates all agreed unanimously that it was okay for a restaurant to call itself ch*nks, and the instructor and i were only ones opposed) one of my former roommates was doing a rerpot on the UK and when she talked about the Black brits, she kept referring to them as “AFRICAN-AMERICAN,” and I wanted to freaking scream…THEY’RE NOT AFRICAN-AMERICAN!!!!

    Like


  503. and my former roommate was a blonde btw…

    Like


  504. and also @ DKB,

    when you say a “huge huge difference,” i hope you are implying about our difference in cultures, although across the diaspora Black people have much in common due to our roots in africa, btu I hope you’re not implying that one group of black people is better than the other…because those divide and conquer tactics won’t work…

    but i’ll take it you mean well with your comments

    Like


  505. @ abagond,

    “I expect most white women to wind up with white men because of where most of them grew up. What I did NOT expect is the way MANY white men seem to feel, zero attraction towards even great-looking black women. After all, black women are still women and white men are still men, so you expect basic biology to apply.”

    some white men just don’t see Black women as real human women, they only see us through a lens of stereotypes…and that is the bottom line…i’ve been saying that since day one.

    I’m either a mammy, an attitude havin black woman [sapphire] or a jezebel or a combination of the three…i can never just be human…i’m not good enough for the white guys to help up the cliff like a lady, but i’m good enough to be the video vixen grinding on the dance floor and degrading myself, i’m good enough to be a cum receptacle…a dirty little secret for the MWM seeking younger SBW for a quickie bang bang on the side for some dirty jungle bunny sex and go home to white picket fence house, white wife, white children and little white doggy poodle…

    i’m sick of it!

    Like


  506. and @ c.andrews,

    i don’t think abagond is necessarily this way, but I can see your point…there are definitely some Black men who devalue Black women because it “appears” or seems that no other man, especially white men, want us…openly.

    srgtwilliepete comes to mind, it’s liek we can’t have any value all on our own because society tells people that we’re ugly and at the bottom of the totem pole…society doesn’t value us, so some Black men do not value us unless we have the white stamp of approval…it’s sad and it is pathetic for the men who do this…

    and the sad thing is behind closed doors, most Black men and society in general have no idea what goes on…

    Like


  507. @ DKB

    “FYI go ask a black guy what their ultimate prize is and he will tell you a white woman and I’m talking about not even attractive white women I would give two looks at.”—Considering I have 4 uncles I decided to ask this very question (mainly because I was on the phone with one of them when this response appeared). To him a white woman is not the ultimate prize. I know you are in shock and disbelief, but contrary to what some white men want to believe not all black men consider white women some ultimate prize. From my standpoint (in which my uncle agrees) to view someone as a prize is not respecting them but rather seeing them as a winning object to be used and thrown away when it’s value diminishes. You can work hard to get it but once you get it does it possess any deep meaning for you? or is it just to say to the world…”look what I got.”

    Like


  508. @ Peanut

    “it’s liek we can’t have any value all on our own because society tells people that we’re ugly and at the bottom of the totem pole…society doesn’t value us, so some Black men do not value us unless we have the white stamp of approval…it’s sad and it is pathetic for the men who do this…”

    Even in cases where women do find white men that value them, then black men get mad like we are at fault here. D*mn if you do and d*mn if you don’t.

    But can you really call individuals who do this men. They sure want to play men but I would not give them that title. There is value and black women because if there was not then it would not be so much fuss over them. People would not be trying to use science and other nonsense to prove we are not attractive if we were of no value.

    Like


  509. @ solesearch,

    why am I nOT surprised that the guy in that video was turned on by being called the n-word???

    my brother got called the n-word by a white female once, not during sex, i don’t think he liked it too much though…

    @ DKB,

    “FYI go ask a black guy what their ultimate prize is and he will tell you a white woman and I’m talking about not even attractive white women I would give two looks at.”

    FYI, let’s not lump ALL black guys in with self-hating, weak-minded Black men…there is a HUGE HUGE difference…implying that all Black men view white women as trophies is an insult to the 100th degree…

    Like


  510. @ Peanut, in America , the constitutions still stands and it says we are only 3/5 human, always remember that because Mistah Charlie(aka White supremacy) sure aint gonna forget. They even make movies like the Planet of the Apes about this. They treat us like shit and at the end of the day because of the Stockholme Syndrome we all suffer at varying degrees we still look for validation, are still confused about should we sex them or not and most of all HURT when they dont want to PLAY with us…… No other group of non white people go around in such a pitiful state trying to push they women off and begging for they women to get sexed by white people like we do. It is sick pathetic appalling and trifling the way we continue to beg for acceptance . Abagond can kinda dress it up a little and make it more palatable for the psyche but it all comes down to ANTI – BLACKNESS……..

    Like


  511. and mind you as someone else said earlier, I think it goes without saying that most people in this country prefer their own ethnicity/culture.

    Whatever culture/ethnicity you are socialized to prefer is what you go for, in general…DKB is over there talking about abagond’s hypocrisy, but then he says that bm see ww as trophies…maybe that’s his projecting of hwat he WANTS Black men to see white women as…I don’t know

    do some Black men view white women that way sure, but MOST…nah…not anymore than white men view Black women as trophies and not any more than Black women view white men as our trophies…

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  512. but the oddity when it comes to black women/white men is this…Black women are portrayed as the ugliest, least feminine, yet the sluttiest and all that good ole stuff, but at the same time the same white men who are ‘repulsed’ by us fixate on us…bash us, go out of their way to demean us even and you could say, “well it’s because most white men just don’t prefer black women,” because that is not what they grew up with like DKB said, but then why do i not see the same level of vitriol spat at Asian women by white men. Do most white men grow up with Asian women in their neighborhoods when they’re such a small minority…if a white man doesn’t prefer asian women is it very common for him to go on tirades and rants against them or does he just date white or another race of woman and leave it be…

    why is the specific hatred reserved only for BLack women…it goes BEYOND a basic preference for white women…because when it’s a basic preference you don’t demean, defeminize and dehumanize thos women who aren’t their preference…

    and then on top of that you do make clandestine propositions to the same women you’re repulsed by or talk about how fat her booty is and how disgusting it is…but continue looking at/obsessing over it anyway (sensenbrenner anyone)

    that’s beyond a basic preference that is just odd…

    I prefer Black men, but I still see beauty in other races of people and why is that because I can see the humanity in other races of people and I don’t treat them like their garbage or second-class citizens. even with the mistreatment i’ve received from white men, i can meet a white guy and still keep an open-mind and still give him the benefit of the doubt…it seems that SOME other men do not give black women that same courtesy. we do one thing or one black woman does one thing and we’re all sluts, sapphires or ugly mammies…

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  513. I live in Phoenix, Arizona (- originally lived in New York) but I was surprised to see so many black women and white men relationships! I think Mother Nature is doing some major DNA dabbling…

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  514. @ c andrews,

    “No other group of non white people go around in such a pitiful state trying to push they women off and begging for they women to get sexed by white people like we do. ”

    well i don’t know about that and I do not think that Abagond has done that at all, I admit he puts us on the meat market like we’re objects sometimes too, but he hasn’t been that extreme at all about it.

    and if anything, if we’re going to stereotype any group as “pushing their women,” off on other races, it would have to be white men because of the mandingo parties and cuckold thing alone. I would caution you about going on the experience project and reading some of the garbage that white men say about hwite women in regards to Black men…it’s almost embarassing for me and I’m a Black woman. I wouldn’t read too much of it because it’s so disgusting that it will warp your mind in a bad way…

    I have never heard of anything close to a white male version of the mandingo party where Black men force their black wives into the beds of white men…not even close…

    so if we’re gonna stereotype that is the stereotype i would go into, but I don’t think most white men even do that…it’s only some of them.

    but i wouldn’t go so far to say Black men push or beg for their women to get sexed by white men…not in the least.

    my issue was that abagond and the other men were implying that sexual propostions/interest from white men toward black women doesn’t happen just because they, as black men, do not see it happening and i’m telling you as a Black woman that no matter what is portrayed, IT HAPPENS…and not in a good way most of the time and then because we’re portrayed so badly out in public and in society in general, some Black men take that to mean we’re the least desriable, we don’t have the white stamp of approval and they feel like we’re not valuable because we don’t have that white stamp of approval…that was my issue.

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  515. 2peanut, this phenomena with black women being hated on is not odd when you take off the rose colores lenses and REALLY look at the situation. Please read the U.S Constitution and see if an ammendment was added to say slaves or black people would from now on be considered 100 % HUMAN. If you or any scholars know where I can find this in the Constitution speak up now or hold your peace. white people barely consider us to be human, this is why they treat us like no other race on the planet has ever been treated. Bestiality is wrong or immoral but plenty of white males and females for that matter do have sex with their dogs, still does not make it right though. We are on the level of their dogs/pets. It is the business of WHITE SUPREMACY and once you really understand how that business work you will no longer think that is just odd. It will become crystal clear to you once you look at the world without your rose colored gasses on. Can you handle it though ????

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  516. Isn’t this conversation going in circles with a lot of commonplace/platitudes and even more stereotypes ? (I’m just wondering, I’ll have tens of pages to delete in my email box now, and didn’t learn much… No need to reply unless you really feel like it)

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  517. and then the sexual paranoia about black men raping white women, yet interracial porn with gang bangs between bm/ww is a popular search term for white men, it just doesn’t add up…so no if we’re going to stereotype any group as pushing their women on other races, it wouldn’t be Black men.

    I think with Black men, it’s moreso insecurity/white washing that leads some to devalue Black women, but not all or even most Black men. only some…

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  518. i said a dozen times on this blog that interracial sex does not mean someone is not racist and I have also said a dozen times that I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ALL white men or white women in ANY OF MY POSTS…if you don’t do the stuff i’m talking about, then i’m not talking about you as a white person.

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  519. @Peanut, each one teach one and join the fight to counter racism !!! I feel you on this. As Fanny Lou Hammer said ” I am tires of being tired”…. get codified and let it spread like wildfire !!!!!

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  520. Peanut, then why not use the appropriate words and use “racists” (R) and “white supremacists” (WS) if that is who you are talking about ?
    I think your experience is interesting to read as a perspective on American social relationships (which seems kinda complicated and often rely on supposing the other might be this or that, or think this or that, or not think at all… must be tiring, for sure). You are open and clear on what you think and to the point.

    I would take the following the other way around (and I know what some here think about that, but frankly…):

    “if you don’t do the stuff i’m talking about, then i’m not talking about you as a white person.”

    I’d rather say, a person who doesn’t have the “white” mindset doesn’t do the stuff you’re talking about. Because you have to have a “white” mindset/ be racist to do them.

    And I was talking about “circles” simply because we have a lot of examples, but not many solutions to better social relationships. And I think (but you know it’s my opinion, and I am a minority in an American setting) it’s because “race” rules. So I’m repeating myself too.

    Just one more thing: seems like Malls are the secure place for what Americans call “interracial” couples (which the French will call “mixte”, pronounced “mixed”). That’s where I see most of them where I live now (upstate NY).

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  521. Legion I reacted to your comment in my reply to Peanut. I think.

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  522. Cornlia, yes, it is mostly the same stuff over and over.

    White men aren’t dating black women, because they are racist, even though, racism doesn’t stop white men from being in relationships with black women for sex, so black women should go on a sex strike against white men, who they never wanted to have sex with, to….hurt white men….so they can’t have sex with women they don’t want either.

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  523. @ wordynerdygirl

    Thank you for the links

    However, the problem is how does one determine WHOSE source is the TRUTH?

    I respect your right to defend your position (and your people, if you are a Jew)

    but I believe MY sources are closer to the truth than the SANITIZED VERSION found in Hollywood productions

    I posted the source from the Internet because that is the ONLY source I could give over the Internet but my MOST RELIABLE SOURCE is a very learned historian that I know personally who has given me a TON of information over the years —

    ALL of which have turned out to be correct even when I thought he was wrong — but I have yet to find a single time when he did not correctly predict what will happen in the world political stage

    AND always based that opinion on giving a historical RUNDOWN of WHY it will happen

    Those are the KINDS of sources I have the most faith in, NOT a website on-line, but again those are the ONLY sources I can provide on-line.

    I believe it is LOGICAL that is NO group of people are all connected to the same umbilical cord and that NO GROUP OF PEOPLE all think or act the same

    there are JEWS who are ANTI-SEMITIC, who have worked against the Jewish masses and non-Jewish masses — and are still DOING so today

    just like there are BLACKS who are ANTI-BLACK who are being used against the black masses (by the white supremacists)

    So, given the HUGE ACCUMULATION of WEALTH by Jews over the last seventy or so years, I would say there is a STRONG POSSIBILITY that there were some who PARTICIPATED in and PROFITED from the Jewish Holocaust.

    that is LOGICAL — in my opinion — based on the OUTCOME

    I’m sure there were ‘white’ GERMANS who had Jewish ancestry who sided with the NAZIS because they were the winning team at the time

    just like there are WHITES who have Black ancestry, who are passing for white because that’s the most privileged team in town

    People do what people do what people do

    I DO NOT buy into the Hollywood CELLULOID VERSION of JEWS as this loyal and courageous and brilliant MONOLITH that would NEVER, EVER betray another person classified as Jewish like the rest of us COMMON, non-Jewish folks

    I just ain’t buying it.

    FYI — If I spend any time studying a HOLOCAUST, it will be the AFRICAN HOLOCAUST, which ECLIPSES every single KNOWN Holocaust in modern human history — being that OVER ONE HUNDRED MILLION AFRICANS DIED over a FOUR HUNDRED YEAR PERIOD.

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  524. @ abagond who said:

    “What I did NOT expect is the way MANY white men seem to feel, zero attraction towards even great-looking black women. After all, black women are still women and white men are still men, so you expect basic biology to apply.”

    I’ve noticed AND have experienced (too many times to count!) that same DYNAMIC of white male behavior — and believe it is due to the

    WHITE MALE CONDUCT CODE

    that says that white males should NEVER uplift a non-white female over a white female by paying more attention to non-white females than white females and since she is a non-white person, it is NECESSARY to treat her as though she is inferior AKA ‘not desirable’

    I have seen MANY white males take this to the extreme by PRETENDING a black female (sometimes ME) is not even in the room

    UNTIL THE OTHER WHITE PEOPLE ARE GONE OR ARE NOT LOOKING

    I have had white males wait until a party or event is over and then will approach me with some slimy proposition — OBVIOUSLY an attempt to “go there” NOW that the other white people he was with are

    NOWHERE (IN SIGHT)

    and white males will do this when they are in groups, and will approach a single black female OR two black females

    ESPECIALLY WHEN INTOXICATED

    which means they were PROBABLY EYE-BALLING HER ALL ALONG

    I believe many white males do this because other white people will CHASTISE a white male who ventures too far from the CODE. It is alright to BEND the code (have sex with a black female in secret)

    BUT NOT alright to BREAK THE CODE

    by treating a black female as though she is EQUAL to a white one

    I have seen it happen — again, many times

    I have watched countless white males PRETEND that they don’t find a black female is attractive (especially if she is noticeably “black-looking”) and will frown and fidget and sometimes even act hostile toward her

    because being attracted to her GOES AGAINST HIS WHITE SUPREMACIST CONDUCT CODE

    I actually list part of the code in one of my books and found it a source of recreation to watch it play out LIVE and IN PERSON

    And I bet MOST of the black ladies on this thread can recount NUMEROUS instances where white males ignore OUR FEMININITY OR will sneak around and try to “hook up” when no white people are looking or listening

    ESPECIALLY WHITE FEMALES

    which is where the black male falls seriously behind because he has NO CONDUCT CODE that allows him to PEACEFULLY CO-EXIST with

    AND GET THE COOPERATION of black females by making sure that WE KNOW THAT WE COME FIRST OVER ALL OTHER NON-BLACK FEMALES

    and that is why there is SO MUCH RANCOR because many black males do JUST THE OPPOSITE

    but the NON-BLACK FEMALES AHEAD OF THE BLACK FEMALE

    Not knowing that CONDUCT CODE is how the white male keeps the loyalty of the white female

    EVEN WHEN SHE SHARES HER BED WITH A BLACK OR NON-WHITE MALE

    (Brothers, you need a BLACK MALE CONDUCT CODE ASAP!)

    AND this LYING and PRETENDING by most whites males (because only a small percentage of white males OPENLY deal with or MARRY black females, but a TON more have had SEX with black females — including some of the white male posters on this thread (I bet)

    is an ABNORMAL mindset that causes other problems (rage, violence, homosexuality)

    because NO NORMAL HETEROSEXUAL MAN is so hung up on a female’s skin color that he does NOT notice she has a vagina and breasts

    White supremacy is a MENTAL ILLNESS and that behavior I described above is just ONE manifestation of it

    in my opinion

    (sorry about the long post, but I have noticed this behavior since I was in my early 20s!)

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  525. @ Cornelia,

    because these men aren’t self-described white supremacists and MOST of them if you asked wouldn’t think they were racists either…they’re regular every day white men who have closet racist tendencies that is why…I specified that I was talking only about some white men and it’s not my job to convince people of that when I’ve already said it.

    most of the white men whom I have interacted with and who have had sexual intent had closet racist tendencies…but they were NOT hardcore white supremacists in the sense that people associate it with any way

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  526. Inregards to expressing attraction to other races; no one really says anything at all.

    I guess racist white guys are like; fine that just means more white women for me, the only ones I’ve ever seen act negatively towards it have actually been middle aged and up white women.

    With young white women it almost seems to net you some “bonus points” with them.

    With the other races of non white/black women, nothing seems to provoke a reaction at all, in my experience anyways.

    Which mays it that muych more unsettling really that the “conduct code” is so strong, if no ones saying that out loud and no one is directly punishing anyone for it than how is it both known and reinforced?

    It should be said; this is based on my experience of being open about attraction, not about relationships in anyway.

    Inregards to personal experience with the whole “non-attraction to black women” thing, I didn’t start feeling any attraction for black women until I worked with one and after that I started noticing black women.

    Which was kind of strange ; it was like having my brain reformated to some extent, it was like all these attractive women appeared out of nowhere but you know they had been there the whole time.

    So then I started thinking; well why didn’t I notice them before and the only thing I could come up with was racism, and if you had asked before I turned thirty I would have said I wasn’t racist.

    Am I saying all men who don’t notice black women are racist to the point they have submerged those emotions and trained themselves not even to react with out even thinking about?

    No, the search terms in the southern states certainly seems to go against that idea but at a few of them are.

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  527. no one ever said anything about going on strike against white men…not anyone that I have read any way, maybe I missed something and I always said Black wome ndid not prefer white men for romantic relationships or LTR and most don’t even socialize with white men in a sexual sense…it is SOME SOME SOME SOME SOME SOME, meaning not ALL, but SOME… closet racist white men who, in my experience who are the hypocrites and demean black women in public and then send naked pictures and sexually offensive stuff to us on dating sites or proposition black women like we’re prostitutes…or have latent homosexual desires for their wives to be with black mandingos….

    all I ask for as a black woman is respect and consistency

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  528. on Tue 11 Jun 2013 at 23:21:52 Lwanda Magere

    You know…I’m just sick of this entire debate. Statistically, 95% of Black men marry Black women. A new study was put out just yesterday, stating that Black men have a higher desire to be in a committed relationship than Black women do (51% vs ~37%).

    The mixed signals make it clear to me that people are drawing upon a bunch of pop culture imagery and taking it for truth, or at best, are taking a few anecdotal experiences and generalizing them on an alarming scale.

    Black women and Black men are battling one another as if we are enemies, all the while, no one bothers to ask who has put the notion in our heads that we don’t love and respect one another?

    We need to stop listening to all of these lies coming from OUTSIDE of our community. We are getting into a fight because of what other people are telling us about ourselves. It’s the very definition of stupidity.

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  529. @ Lwanda Magere

    “You know…I’m just sick of this entire debate.”—Which is why i will be making today my last posting to thread.

    “The mixed signals make it clear to me that people are drawing upon a bunch of pop culture imagery and taking it for truth, or at best, are taking a few anecdotal experiences and generalizing them on an alarming scale.”—This is a common problem in most threads but yes I have noticed this.

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  530. It is getting exhausting if I must say so myself. We need to move on to something else. Just my opinion.

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  531. I just saw the sexiest black man at the pool…he had a chiseled stomach, nice Hershey chocolate skin, a very handsome/masculine face, nice brown eyes, strong shoulders…I wonder if he dates black women…there’s a 95% chance that he does…according to some

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  532. I would love to have his babies

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  533. I mean his body was like this: http://cdn.followpics.com/show/156429787027315404_Dopf5nMo_c.jpg

    it was perfect, he had all the physical features that I crave in a man….

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  534. I haven’t felt that physically attracted to a man at first site in a long time…I must be ovulating

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  535. @ Peanut

    LOL. Photos like that make me wish I was single again.

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  536. it made me feel like back in the days of salt n pepa, shoop…I miss those days when black folks got along better…

    (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vaN01VLYSQ)

    and that’s another thing, have you all noticed that our black music is not the same anymore, we almost never hear songs on mainstream radio about the affection or love that bp have for each other, nothing like it used to be when we had marvin gaye, I actually think that is a big part of the problem…

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  537. honestly I feel conflicted about the whole situation because on the one hand, i’m probably permanently scarred from all the black woman bashing and who knows how that has affected my subconscious mind, but on the other hand…there are just certain things that black men understand that other men, especially white men, do not and there are certain things that I feel more connected with black men over, but it seems like it’s one sided sometimes, even though I know most black men marry/date black women.

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  538. now i’m contradicting myself I know…my feelings are contradicting sometimes…

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  539. do you think I contradict myself all of the time?

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  540. why is it that some white women who date black men hate black women??? but white men just hate black women and black men equally…like a white man can sex a black woman and still hate black women and black men…but with ww/bm, it seems the white woman just hates black women…what’s up with that btw?

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  541. @ Peanut

    Sorry got caught up in that video you posted.

    Music was better back then. Also the abundance of black tv shows and movies (I miss those days). As for contradictions, I think you have a lot of feelings and thoughts about the subject which can lead to contradictions at times. I think you should just learn as the experiences come. Nothing wrong with a few contradictions here and there.

    I can’t be certain why white women still hate black women even when they date black men, but it could be some insecurity. I have heard white women say that the black guy chose them because of this or that. For example wanted a woman that was good with money or liked to travel the world. White women know he has one time to meet a black woman that fits that and she might be put on the back burner. Of course this is just speculation and this does not apply to all.

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  542. @ Peanut

    I know you didn’t address your question to me, but thanks for posting that pic!

    I have noticed the huge change in black music, where black males used to sing about loving black women and having their hearts break and now thanks to the total takeover over of black music by white corporations they have programmed an entire generation of black males and females to see themselves as dawgs and b**ches and hos and n**gas and bootys

    I think this was done deliberately to drive a wedge between us and make us turn against each other. I’ve heard some rappers who say they try to put out positive rap that they can’t get their music played

    I think a lot of black females feel battered and beaten up (I know I do)

    nd I hope I didn’t do that in my posts OR make any black females think I was implying black females weren’t attractive. I think we are beautiful because we come in so many different shades of beautiful black, mocha, chocolate and lemon and have so many wonderful features — lips, body shapes, skin, hair, eyes —

    there is so much NATURAL BEAUTY in us that I have NEVER seen elsewhere that can’t be duplicated even by the best plastic surgeons in the world — and they have tried their best to give white females what we have naturally

    I think that is why black females are being attacked by white mainstream media to maintain the white female at the top of the beauty pedestal

    I also have noticed a great deal of hostility from white females toward black females — especially if the black female is attractive and/or has a nice body.

    Anyway, before I go on too long, the only reason I’ve posted as much as i have is to caution my beautiful black sisters to be careful with your precious bodies and not to allow ourselves to be used by anyone who does NOT see us as fully human

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  543. arrrrghghg!!!!!

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  544. Dam someone is thirsty lol. Shoot peanut there are some fine navy men that go to this pool I go to for water aeorobics at an army base. One of them looked at me, this happened months ago but I still picture his face in my mind, lol. Yes we are going backwards as far as seeing black love or black cartoons. I’m a 90’s baby so I at least got to see black shows like the proud family, the cosby show, good times, famous jet Jackson, static shock, and little bill lol. Nowadays its really no shows for black kids to watch that shows them in a positive light or as superheroes.
    As for white women hating black women when they are dating black men, proves that whites are still racist regardless if they are sleeping/married/dating a black person.some of it is them being insecure the other part is them being racist and stereotyping black ppl. They think oh I gotta be rude to black women so they won’t steal my man, in their mind they believe the jezebel and breeder stereotype, whether they admit it or not. If they didn’t subconsciously believe it they wouldn’t feel the need to hold onto their man tightly and steer him away from other black ppl. They think, they are both black I feel left out, and they may screw each other because they are sexual beasts,, yes its up to me to stop it. rofl

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  545. “I think a lot of black females feel battered and beaten up (I know I do)”

    yes, I feel like society portrays Black men as betraying Black women, while they uplift white men, but it’s the opposite.

    I have felt betrayed at times by certain Black men, mainly from the Black men who bash Black women, but that is not ALL Black men.

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  546. someone is thirsty lol. Peanut the pool I go to for water aerobics at an army base has some fine navy men there. One fine brotha looked at me this happened months ago and I still picture his face.*sigh*. Music isn’t what it used to be neither are the shows. I’m a 90’s baby so I saw some good black shows like the proud family,that’s so rave, the cosby show, static shock, the famous jet Jackson,etc. These kids nowadays don’t have black cartoons and superheroes I feel sorry for em. As for the white women hating black women when they date black men just proves that whites can still be racist even when they have a black spouse,dating,or sexn a black person. I think its a lot of insecurity and the other part is they are racist. They think I have to keep my man away from black women because they believe the jezebel and breeder stereotypes.They think I gotta steer my man away from black women or they may screw each other,because they are sexual beasts and will do anything. They may also feel left out like omg they are both black. Its the same thing they say when they have a black female friend and they set her up on a blind date with a random black guy. Then when their black friend asks why did u set me up with him we have nothing in common their response is but he’s black. They think our only requirement for a mate is to be the same color smh.

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  547. Sorry for the double post my computer is acting dum u can delete the first one abagond

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  548. @ Peanut
    It is perfectly ok to have contradictory feelings. Its part of being human. You might feel one way about something and next week feel differently about the same thing. The way our society is set up, especially these days, everything must fit into its nice neat little box. Which is probably why we worry when we start to notice that we are actually unboxed and don’t easily fit into many of the molds society sets up for us.

    Humanity and being a human being is messy and contradictory. Embrace allathat and keep it moving. Relationships between people, of any kind and of any racial mix are also messy, complex and contradictory. Not easily defined, or expressed which is what makes posts and subsequent comment threads like this very interesting.

    You are human, Peanut, and you are awesome and unboxed and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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  549. @ pam

    I never heard of lemon colored sistas only caramel lol. learn something new everyday

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  550. on Wed 12 Jun 2013 at 02:24:58 Lwanda Magere

    @Peanut

    1) Black men and Black women will generally understand one another better, because we tend to share a similar experience/world view. I made the mistake of dating a White woman and the relationships could never just be about us. Race always came into play at some point. Even simple things like wearing a durag to help set waves in my hair became a huge issue because of the general ignorance that Whites have when it comes to the more nuanced elements of Black culture. There is a great comfort I have in being with a Black woman. I imagine Black women feel similarly about being with us.

    2) White women have been lied to: the media tells them that they are the most beautiful women and that they are the standard to be aspired to. So while a White woman feels affirmed when a Black man desires her, she feels threatened when a Black woman challenges that perception. As for why White men hate both equally? Because White men occupy a position of power and tend to be disapproving of everyone that is not a White heterosexual male.

    @ TrojanPam

    Stop listening to top 40. I used to complain about how much music has changed until I decided to change my listening habits. It is true that top 40 music has seen a tremendous level of degradation in terms of the quality and the lyrical content. However, in the internet age, it is incredibly simple to discover positive music that carries the torch of yesteryear.

    I suggest you give a listen to Brian Owens, Choklate, Jose James, Lelah Hathaway, Zo! etc. There is a tendency to assume that this generation has no good music. That simply isn’t true. Good music simply isn’t on the agenda of the powers that be. So go seek out good music from independent sources. Relying on commercial enterprise to properly represent anyone or anything is like waiting for the end of partisan politics.

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  551. “Je retire ce que j’ai dit” = let me withdraw what I said previously.

    This is a very interesting conversation for someone who wants to understand how American society functions.

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  552. @ Peanut

    I hope I didn’t cause your “arrrrghghg!!!!!”

    (( wiping sweat off forehead ))

    I blame the system that has poisoned us against each other.

    I think it is SO easy to forget all the wonderful black males that we’ve known — wonderful but not perfect —

    and the men who have loved us and raised us and fixed that flat tire when we called

    or came by and looked at our furnace or water heater or car when we were ready to throw up our hands and give up

    or who held us and told us things would be alright if we just hung in there

    I know black men who are raising their children as single parents

    I know black men who supported their black wives as they went through 18 months of breast cancer chemo

    I know black men who went to jobs where they were dogged out just to bring money home (my father was one) and he NEVER once let us go hungry or homeless or without presents at XMAS time

    I know black males who have co-signed and bought black females vehicles because they couldn’t afford one on their own

    I know black males who showed up and helped me drain the water out of my crawlspace

    I know black males who drove 500 miles to help a stranded black female friend or sister or mother

    I know so many GREAT THINGS ordinary and average black males have done for me and for black females

    And we black females need to OWN up to what we have done to them

    we have hurt and betrayed some of the black males who tried to love us,

    None of us are perfect, we are people who have been damaged by four hundred years of slavery AND 100 years of post-slavery and our relationships have never healed or recovered from that experience — and are STILL dealing with the racism that keeps black males from fully functioning as MEN and which keeps us from developing as the women we could be.

    I DO NOT to blame black males (although I get frustrated too) because they did NOT create the system of racism/white supremacy that is waging war on all of us, and closing our black schools and trying to lock up our children for a science project gone wrong and who are about (I fear) to let George Zimmerman go free after MURDERING Trayvon Martin

    THAT IS THE REAL PROBLEM: RACISM/WHITE SUPREMACY

    That’s why — even though I’m sure everyone is sick of me by now — I keep emphasizing UNITY between black males and black females EVEN THOUGH I completely understand why so many black females are looking elsewhere for love.

    that being said, my feeling is I DO NOT WANT to reward the same (white) people who COLLECTIVELY have CAUSED THE DIVIDE between black males and females AND who will NOT allow us to EXIST IN PEACE with them.

    And if we AGREE (and maybe we don’t) that the MAJOR problem all black people face is RACISM (in every aspect of our lives)

    I don’t see how we can DEFEAT racism without coming together as a BLACK UNITED COMMUNITY, because all the sex in the world with white people hasn’t SOLVED a single problem for us

    and in fact, it seems that the more of that we do,

    the worse off we seem to be as a people who think they don’t need each other

    I will always take whatever LOVE, MONEY, TIME, and heart to a black man because that is the ONLY way I will ever feel like I’m “home”

    with a white male — no matter how nice he appears to be — I will never feel “at home” or that he understands my struggles as a black person in a racist system OR that he really cares

    of course, that’s my opinion

    Like


  553. @ Lwanda Magere

    Actually, I never listened to that music.

    Just commenting on how fall in quality our “black” music has fallen — especially for black people under 35

    I mostly listen to the oldies (like the 60s and 70s music) and some jazz

    thanks for the music suggestions, I will check them out

    Like


  554. @ TrojanPam

    “That’s why — even though I’m sure everyone is sick of me by now”—No. I will admit that you did come off as a bit hostile at first and I was turned off by that (especially the looking for white approval rhetoric) but that does not negate the truth in what you were saying. I just hate seeing us as black folks fight and argue with each other. some things I don’t agree with and maybe because I don’t understand the way you presented it but I am fine with agreeing to disagree on those issues. :)

    Like


  555. @ Trojan pam

    I appreciate ums pam I love ur posts and just finished lesson one in ur bootcamp. Don’t go anywhere i’m not sick of u, you bring a good perspective to these discussions.

    Like


  556. I appreciate u lol typo

    Like


  557. @ Sharina

    Thanks for sharing your honest feelings.

    I’m still a work in progress and will try to consider what you said in the future

    I agree, I hate to see us fight each other as much as I hate to reward those who started the fight in the first place

    Like


  558. @ Trojanpam

    “I agree, I hate to see us fight each other as much as I hate to reward those who started the fight in the first place”–I know the feeling and I understand that when people jump at you then you have to jump back. In those instances I would not ask you to apologize or change.

    Like


  559. @TrojanPam
    You’re so on point! The black man and woman need each other. We may have our differences but we need to come together if we want to defeat racism. We can’t do it as individuals. It will never work. It has to be a collective effort. The media does everything it can to divide us. All the negative images of sistas in the media make me sick! But I know the black woman is the original woman on the planet. She is to be honored and respected. And there is nothing the vile demonic media can do to make me turn my back on black women. I know she is my natural mate which is why I have no interest in white women. And we have to stand against the interracial propaganda.
    We have to do everything we can to restore the black family. And first black men need to stand up as leaders of their community. The true image of the black woman needs to be restored as well. It’s going to be a long hard road. But I have faith in my people that they will wake up. We must do this for the sake of our children. We have no other option. Thank you for your contribution Pam. I always appreciate your posts. I can tell you truly love your people. And you don’t bite your tongue. Others may not like it but that shows your devotion to truth. Even if it hurts the feelings of others. But if we want to beat this Beast(system) we have to speak honestly. You’re on the right course. Stay on your conter-racist grind. Peace.

    Like


  560. @ mstoogood4yall

    thank you ma’am

    it’s good to hear the PROS and the CONS because I know when I get on a roll

    watch out! :-)

    I just feel so passionately about healing the HURT between the black male and female and I know that the white media via its portrayal of our relationships as horrible and unhealthy and the PUSH toward being with white people makes me concerned for our future in an increasingly racist and hostile society

    the movie, “The Purge” is a big red flag as to the changing MOOD of white america collectively

    and I fear these words might come back to haunt us if we do NOT pay attention to the laws being passed and the black schools being closed and how two Illinois senators wanted to lock up 18,000 black males without charging them with a crime (!)

    in the midst of all that is going on to black people, I think it is UNWISE to separate ourselves even further than we already are

    that is my major point and I’ll end on that note.

    Like


  561. @ Sharina

    Yes, and I have to be careful not to be too “preachy”

    I think I have that tendency and who wants someone preaching at them as though they know it all?

    I can understand how my “message” can get lost in my sometimes flawed delivery

    Just know that I want the best for all of you and that I want black females to get all the love they deserve

    I just DO NOT WANT to see our bodies used as sexual toilets the same way our ancestors were used

    because a LOT of that is going on and a LOT of black females are being quietly devastated by having sex with racists

    and that is the one thing MOST of us will never talk about

    so I thought, let’s talk about it RIGHT here where we can be honest and without shame or fear

    Like


  562. @ mstoogood4yall,

    LOL! I do water aerobics too!

    Like


  563. I just realized that only about 20 people contributed to this 500+ comment thread. Not a lot of diversity of thought.

    Like


  564. thank you trojanpam, Luanda, awakebw, sharina…you all had great comments.

    no I wasnt’ arrrghing at you trojanpam

    Like


  565. I don’t think ww can hate bw women while dating bm and not hate bm…just doesn’t seem logical.

    Like


  566. @ trojanpam,

    I too found your comments a bit off putting at first, but you do make some valid points. I wasn’t arguing with anyone on here, I was mainly just venting because I feel like as a Black woman I am put in a very compromising position by society…I have a lot of emotions that I deal with and I know a lot of black women deal with them because of this brand of sexist racism that we endure

    Like


  567. Someone, earlier in this thread, made a comment, (and im paraphrasing for the sake of being concise) that one should not judge an interracial relationship through the prism of the history of white/black relations(ie: slavery, jim crow), but by the behavior of the white individual. According to the poster this behavior should be easy to gauge, because the individual who who posted the comment, asserts that he, and most other people on this thread, have a heightened awareness of white racism.

    Whats interesting, from my observation anyway, is that almost everyone posting on this thread misses a glaring irony. Which is that this entire thread is not only racist against whites, but is racist against whites in the same exact way that whites are blamed for being racist against people posting on this thread.

    Every complaint loged against white behavior towards black men/women, is reiterated and amplified tenfold by the people commenting. For example, whites are referred to in blanketed generalizations, they are demonized (fairly or unfairly), objectified, sexualized, ect.

    I’m not sure if people posting on here are just unaware of the glaring hypocrisy, or worse yet, aware of it and apathetic to it. Almost no one posting here can claim any moral or ethical high ground to the people who de-individualize, demonize, objectify and sexualize them. I mean in all honesty what is the point of all the pontification?

    Does this kind of self victimizing, blame game, support group actually make anyones life better?

    Like


  568. Trojan Pam,

    “I just DO NOT WANT to see our bodies used as sexual toilets the same way our ancestors were used

    because a LOT of that is going on and a LOT of black females are being quietly devastated by having sex with racists”

    I feel like Black women are almost encouraged to do this though. They love putting Black women with racist white men in movies and on TV shows…we’ve got that movie Scandal, which is basically no different than the Thomas Jefferson/Sally Hemmings fiasco…where everyone loves to pretend they were in love, but really she was his slave…

    I just get frustrated on the one hand we’re portrayed as the ultimate unwoman, non-sexual, the ugliest, absolutely no man would look twice at us, including our own race of Black men…and even now we have Black men buying into this idea…

    We’re the least unappealing openly…and there are insecure Black men who buy into this and now some Black men are even ashamed to be associated with Black women and join in on deriding us…de-sensualizing us etc…

    then on the flip side, we have some white men who love to openly demean Black women, go on and on about everything that is wrong with us because we dont’ fit into the white male erotic gaze…and we’re compared to white women constantly. we have articles written about our ‘ugliness,’ we’ve got Black men joining in now too…and when we bring this up, we are told “it’s just our preference, it’s just our preference,” but it’s NOT just a preference because then why are you fixating on Black women, instead of fixating on the women who are your preference…
    it’s more than that…

    and then, I get my inbox blow up with sexual messages from white males, including MWM more than any one else when I never advertised that I was even looking for a white male. I advertised myself as Black woman seeking a man , but I get more responses from white men than anyone else…

    then we’ve got some black men doing the same thing now and it just gets tiring…i’m tired of being portrayed as the worst of the worst, i’m tired of being put on the metaphorical auction block and cut down by all races of men constantly and i’m tired of the hypocrisy…i’m tired of being treated like something so shameful that it has to be kept hidden and i’m tired of being viewed as a cum dump…instead of a real woman.

    I am just done…

    RANT FINISHED

    Like


  569. @ dmoney,

    please take that to another thread…I don’t think there is ONE person on this thread who ever said ALL WHITE PEOPLE were the same in fact I went out of my way to say I wasn’t talking about all white men I’ve said that probably 20 times…but I’m not going to NOT talk about my experiences just because they make you uncomfortable…so save the reverse racism for the broken record department

    Like


  570. I’m done with this thread. I’m not commenting any more.

    Like


  571. Well, although I haven’t commented at all, I’ve followed and done tons of head nodding, eye rolling and the infamous “smh”

    And then I thought that sometimes, the best vehicle for hard lessons black folks face are done this way:

    (http://youtu.be/h8gP9GX2udI)
    ;)

    Like


  572. @Sugarkiss
    I agree however it is best that Black women date their own Black men despite Black men’s flaws unless they found a nice White guy to settle down with. Most White men aren’t out for Black women’s interests except sexually experiment with us and that has been proven time and time again. The same can be said about many Black men too.

    I am not totally against Black women dating White men as long as he respects her and he is the right guy for her. Personally for me, I could never date or marry a White guy, ever. I care way too much for the state of my race to do that.

    Like


  573. So the talking about music on this thread got me thinking about the video vixens and what have you and it occured to me.

    Since the primary consumers of rap music are white people, white males even, doesn’t that mean the primary viewers of rap videos will also be white males?

    Like


  574. @ Adeen,

    I completely agree with you, I posted that because of the satirical element. The Wayan Brothers have been known (even before Dave Chapelle) to be skilled at turning the mirror inwards on Blacks and making us really think about the stereotypes that we fight daily and how what we DO doesn’t always match what we SAID.

    The movie is completely satire and sums up every single Black 90s film that blacks made and was popular then.

    And that super pro Black man that secretly (and openly) worship white women exists. That is the irony of the scene and reason I posted the clip. Pam broke it down as well as Peanut and others, the torture it can be to fight the negative images of us black women and then having to raise our children to love themselves when they see NO ONE, especially black men in love with each other on TV, music or most anywhere else main stream these days.

    Like


  575. @Sugarkiss:

    You wrong for posting that video! LMFAO!

    Like


  576. @ V-4

    The sheer absence of black love and deep, meaningful positive relationships on mainstream TV does the same type of damage that seeing the video would do. It reinforces the non existence of Black women as respectful and desirable, loveable humans. It’s toxic.

    Listening to these garbage rap songs can be done over and over and over, the lyrics settling themselves in the subconscious of white males–to the point that they don’t even realize they aren’t doing us any favors by treating us and adopting AAVE and all that phony attempts at “connecting” is belittling, NOT REAL LIFE and very disrespectful, to say the least.

    The system in motion works on all levels. Today’s rap videos are more likely to get a young white boy’s azz kicked or laughed at. Those attempts at “othering” black culture really does not help anybody learn anything of substance. Because beneath the surface, the hard facts about our Black American ‘subculture’ has everything to do with all the things named here and almost everywhere else black folks congregate– and white ppl DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH REAL HISTORY and MISEDUCATION of said history–those aren’t the feel good answers they want us to tell them.

    They just want to learn the Electric slide and the Wobble…just. Whatever.

    That is my reality and why we get so up in arms when white ppl start crying over being “soo misunderstood” and “I just want black ppl to know I’m not racist…”etc.

    It’s just so much more to it that that. Read and re-read about comments. The answers are 100s of years old and even the most intellectual, “well read” white person would attempt to touch our past with a 100ft pole.

    Like


  577. @ Sondis,

    I love the Wayans and that movie!! I was smiling the whole time I cut and pasted the link! Those days were golden for our commercial creativity :D

    Like


  578. My sista, you ain’t lying! Oh, i so miss those days, too! ^_^

    On another note…

    Sugarkiss,

    You and my other black sistas and brothas have got to leave these white folks be…stop going back and forth with these white people, they don’t want to see how we suffer in a sympathetic way.

    White folks come on abagond’s blog to just fuss and fight with us, challege us at every turn.

    why you think i never get into much of a debate with them on this blog? I see them trying to pull me in like they do everyone else on this blog but i refuse.

    I come here to talk to my beautiful black people, not fight with racist white people.

    I’ll talk about white folks but I’ll be damned if I’m going try to talk to them as to get them to understand our plight and how its not equal under this white supremacist, society we live in.

    I know white folks don’t care, don’t want to know and don’t want to listen to reason, so i don’t bother trying to convince them of anything.

    Now i see my sistas be laying down the knowledge on these racist white people and i love it but that knowledge could be told to our young black brothas and sistas that are in danger of having, white racist like the ones you are fussing with, make their life miserable.

    I say, we should talk to each other, not white folks that don’t want to talk to us but talk, AT US!

    We could be laughing and joking around with each other about the good old times, from the 80’s and 90’s. Instead, we fuss with racist white folks….

    Like


  579. @Sugarkiss

    In talking about the videoes I wasn’t talking about culture or fads.

    I was talking about how it was mentioned that black women get portrayed as undesireable but that the mass consumption by white males of erotic imagery of black women via rap videos would be an indication that they are pretty strongly desired.

    Also are there any studies on black couples and how many are healthy or not; beacause otherwise doesn’t everything potentially fall under confirmation bias?

    I mean we got one person saying most couples with BW are interracial and another saying that US tv seems like to be marriee they practically have to be brother and sister.

    That aside wouldn’t a prevalence of INTR-ccouples be saying that black people are potential relationship?

    Like


  580. @Peanut, I feel you. I hope this will be my last posting on this subject if my comment ever see the day of light,lol… It reminds me of what Nelly Fuller said about black peoplw-“we love to be SERIOUS about SILLY matters and yet get very SILLY about SERIOUS matters. I think as a moderator Abagond promotes this cause mOST of my posting were never even published but some very silly insane trivial postings were not only highlighted but it generated a lot of even sillier responses. it is very depressing. I dont know how old Abagond is but now I start to wonder if he be over 18 yrs old. I could be wrong but I dont know what else to make of such folly and foolishness…..

    Like


  581. t@Temple, that figures- most cONSTRUCTIVE posters comments probably never saw the light of day…..

    Like


  582. @ C. Andrews

    “mOST of my posting were never even published “

    “t@Temple, that figures- most cONSTRUCTIVE posters comments probably never saw the light of day…..”

    What in the world are you talking about? I have not deleted a single one of your comments on this thread. Not one.

    On this thread the only comments I deleted were:

    1. At the direction of the commenter (Sharina)
    2. Requested edits to fix spelling, delete a line, etc (B.R., Legion)
    3. A duplicate (Linda)
    4. Not in English (oogenhand)
    5. Way off topic (rollingwriter)
    6. The usual spam

    Everyone has been allowed to comment AT LENGTH.

    Like


  583. @Sondis
    ”You and my other black sistas and brothas have got to leave these white folks be…stop going back and forth with these white people, they don’t want to see how we suffer in a sympathetic way.”

    Exactly I agree with you, that is why I have never dated a White male before and probably never will because I love my race way too much to do that. If I dated a White guy, I would be branded a sellout and I would never want to sellout my race. I am so sick of White trolls coming on here and trying to distract us from the issues that matter to Blacks.

    Most Black women like me are better off with Brothas and if you want to debate me on this, then go ahead but the truth is most people are better off dating and marrying their own kind.

    Like


  584. @ Sondis,

    Amen Brother!!! Black people don’t need to prove to Whites that they’re suffering from racism because they know but don’t care. If the oppposite were true, I don’t think that racism would continue to last all these hundreds of years. Us trying to prove our worth to them is like a prisoner begging their guard to let them out of jail and be free forever. WE are going to have to burn midnight oil trying to figure out how to overcome this problem. They’re going to do whatever regardless of what we tell them.

    Like


  585. @ Sondis

    Amen Brother!!!

    Black people should stop trying to prove to White people that they are being mistreated. Many of them know what is happening to us but just don’t care. If the opposite were true, I don’t think that racism would have lasted so long. It’s like a prisoner trying to convince the guard to let them out of the jail cell and be free forever; that is virtually IMPOSSIBLE.

    I think Black people should just try to do the best they can as an individual to solve race-related issues that effect them in their immediate lives, but for a larger goal of justice. I think the reason why Whites have been so successful at playing this color-based game is because they work as united, but independent, individuals. They don’t need a White leader to tell them how to treat Black people day in and day out because they have their own code for getting the job done. So I suggest that Black people need a have code so that things can work out in our favor. We have waited long enough for change, which is possible, but will take a lot of serious work on our part.

    Like


  586. @ Ms. J you said enuff !!!! You hit the nail on the head !!! We need a code, we need it badly . That be the only thing that may work in the longterm to counter tihis racism ish …….

    Like


  587. I like Sondis. Seems like a good natured guy.

    Like


  588. @ c.andrews

    That’s what I think too. Do you ever notice how White people use the same, cliche terms and views to talk about race? It doesn’t matter if they’re 21, a Texan, or a gay person; they ALL know to speak about the matter in such a way that the truth will not be openly revealed.

    Their behavior is also similar. I notice that they’re rarely get too close to you as a Black person unless they just want to have sex and be gone. I’ve also been in situations where White males AND females will talk nice to you one-on-one but act as if you don’t exist when around their White peers. Even so-called “Jews” do it too. So we need to start getting on one accord as Black people and stop pretending that just one or two are the problem. Even if they call you their “friend”, they understand that their relationship with you is not as genuine as it could be because they’re in a powerful position.

    Like


  589. Commenting on the original post:
    1. I’m pretty certain many people of whatever ethnicity go into relationships for the wrong reasons. This is not specific to black women who date nonblack men. Also, at least 90% of black americans & other blacks suffer from internalized racism. Colorism is so ingrained in blacks that, much like whites & racism, it’s just how things are.

    2. Agree, black women do not secretly desire white men. Just like other women, black women desire men of character…and it’s not a secret. And some of those men are not black.

    It’s closer to the truth to say that black women with white men are often forced to defend their relationship by confrontational black folk who have no right to an opinion about said relationship.

    3. I think this is a moot point because nothing is static. All of the numbers are changing as we speak/type/comment here. Unemployment numbers just changed, the housing numbers just changed, Facebook stock just went down again. The number of interracial marriages across the board increased according to the 2010 Census. The numbers may decrease or increase in the next Census. Everything changes.

    4. Beauty standards are racialised and, in general, every group follows the standard.

    Like


  590. Ms J

    Their behavior is also similar. I notice that they’re rarely get too close to you as a Black person unless they just want to have sex and be gone. I’ve also been in situations where White males AND females will talk nice to you one-on-one but act as if you don’t exist when around their White peers.

    Is it really like that ? If it is, then I totally understand your reactions (I’m talking of what other people commenting also express). I’m amazed to see how bad it still is. it is sickening.

    But at the same time (sorry if I insist for the other commenters who have read me already), what you are describing is what I would consider as “white American” behavior. “They” (generalization, they are not all like that, but most are) have very superficial relationships that are -almost- always “interested”. We chatted about that with my husband yesterday (we are French nationals and he is of African origin, I am classified as “white” in the US), he said it is very annoying at work (he works in an American firm in the US right now) because he never knows what to think of people’s behavior. They seems “warm” when they need you and then you don’t exist anymore if they are done with you. And then they come back with a changed attitude. Every other international co-worker says they feel the same, Italian, Indian, Spanish or else. It has nothing to do with people’s color (in his workplace) but it is just the way they behave. As a student 20 years ago in the South I had noticed the exact same thing. I was amazed at how you could talk with someone one evening and then the next morning they say “hi” and walk away. You’re like, “wth? where has the whole conversation from yesterday gone ?” I remember standing in the middle of an alley on campus after such an instance. It was really weird. I never was able to know if it was the same with African-Americans because it was difficult to socialize with them, the campus was very divided and international students were even more remote from the rest. I took Afro-American History classes but I don’t remember having a fellow student trying to hang with me. I had very interesting conversations with the teacher however. Relationships with Africans were the same as any other international student too (very warm and a lot of parties, with little drinking and a lot of fun and dance).

    So my take on this is it may be due to racism, the fact that they constantly had to keep a distance all these years, they have learnt to be like that and even with changes they have retained the same attitudes. I think racism has shaped most of what happens here. In France it’s different because most of the racist attitudes occurred in the colonies/so-called territories. Which doesn’t mean racism isn’t prevalent. It is, but the French population itself is divided in racists and non-racists, a lot of them will not let racist attitudes prevail. They will react when something happens. And racists will be more openly racist than contemporary Americans.

    If you saw French kids and youth behave with each other (all origins together) you would be amazed. They sit on each other’s laps (though not boys on boys’ !) and touch a lot, kiss both cheeks every morning, hold each other, etc. Here it’s forbidden to touch in school !!!! I don’t know what they think they are teaching pre-adolescents and adolescents with such restrictions here… They need to touch (and there is NOTHING sexual in that). I’m pretty sure it’s the same in many countries.

    Like


  591. on Wed 12 Jun 2013 at 20:34:40 Lwanda Magere

    @ Ms. J

    I find that the greatest issue is that White America has preached assimilation, which Black America mistook as being synonymous with inclusion. We keep waiting for Whites to accept us. We seek their validation. The truth is, no matter what we do, we do not meet White society’s criteria for inclusion. At best, we can be tolerated (and you’ll notice that White diversity dialog always preaches tolerance, not acceptance), but never truly a part of their society.

    Our hair can’t be straightened enough. Our patterns of speech, not spoken with a neutral enough inflection. We allow them to impose their standards of beauty and culture, and we are always the ones suffering for it. We abandon our own people and our own ways, and the end result is as it has always been throughout history: Whiteness never receives you, and your own fail to recognize you.

    Just read up on the Bureau of Indian Affairs and the number of Native American boarding schools that they created. They were academies for assimilation in which the children of the tribes were forced to abandon their names, language and culture in exchange for White ways and culture. What wound up happening? These children were often rejected by White society upon graduation (leading to impoverishment and suicide), and those that attempted to return to their tribes could no longer function in that culture because they no longer understood it. Whites have been doing this literally for hundreds of years. Yet here we are falling for it in the 21st century.

    It is nothing short of sad to see Black women go on about how White men just adore them. It is saddening to see Black men think that a White woman is some kind of ultimate sign of success or acceptance. Time for us to stop worrying about White people liking and loving us. Time for us to start loving ourselves.

    Like


  592. @Lwanda

    Blacks shouldn’t assimilate into a culture that hates us and degrades us endlessly. We should try to solve our own problems in the Black Community and learn to love ourselves as a race of people. I think the part of the reason for the internalized racism in our culture is lack of knowledge of self. When White slave masters took us as slaves, our culture, language and ways were taken from us. If we don’t know where we came from, we sure wouldn’t know where we are going.

    Like


  593. @ sondis

    BrAVO. I agree, f what others think or say all that matters is us. The spurs owned the heat last nighr what. lol

    @Beautywoc

    I saw him first lol naw ,He’s peanuts man ……………jk, lol. If u want a chance with him give him a dolla he likes those.

    Like


  594. @ Lwanda and Adeen

    *Two snaps*

    I couldn’t say your ideas any better.

    Like


  595. @ Peanut

    I agree, the black female image has been greatly demeaned since slavery but more recently seems to have intensified over the last 15 years, from rap video h*os to monster mothers (Precious) to white male’s w**ores (Monster’s Ball, and most TV shows showing BW chasing WM for sex)

    the black female AS a white man’s w*ore images started during slavery to JUSTIFY RAPING US and BLAMING US for the rapes (instead of the serial white male rapists)

    And many white male shock jocks use us as punching bags to the DELIGHT of their white audiences (who, if you caught them after listening, they would SWEAR up and down, “Oh no, I’m not a racist!”)

    Keep in mind that some of this behavior may be LATENT HOMOSEXUALITY because no NORMAL heterosexual male spends ANY time talking about women he does not find attractive. However, females AND males who are competing for PENISES may view black females as “competition.”

    No joke

    I had the same experiences. I remember years ago placing a personal ad as a joke and SPECIFIED a black male and about HALF of the responses I got were from white males, one saying he wanted to drink my bath water and other sexually blatant references

    WHILE the black males NEVER mentioned sex in their responses and to me, that said a LOT about how white males REALLY view black females, from their ARROGANCE to assume they could ignore what I wanted in order to DO what they wanted to me — and their responses often showed a perverted nature and intent towards me.

    Peanut, the overall INTENT is to BREAK US DOWN and destroy our collective self-esteem so we can’t raise psychologically healthy BLACK children and to make us vulnerable to the SEXUAL wants of white males.

    I mentioned in an earlier post this technique is called “framing.” I hope you’ll take the time to read it

    And those black males who demean us are males who have drank the poison of SELF-HATRED and ANTI-BLACKNESS that is FORCE FED all of us in a white supremacy society. No black male can despise black females WITHOUT despising himself — because he CAME from a black female.

    And if black females were “nothing” why would the white media have to spend so much time, money and energy to PROVE it? Why are black females’ physical features some of the most REQUESTED features on the white female’s plastic surgery “wish list?”

    Like bigger breasts, butts, lips and a ‘darker skin?”

    Come on now… somebody’s running a CON GAME on us.

    I hope you’ll read the book, “The Beauty Con Game” which breaks down exactly what is happening and how “beauty” (or a lack of it) is used to practice white supremacy and to destroy black psychological health.

    Plus, the book offers many practical solutions to counter the assault on our black self-esteem

    Take care and stay strong, Sis!