Tommy Sotomayor (1975- ) is a Black American radio show host and YouTuber. He is best known for bashing black women, some of whom are trying to get him banned from YouTube.
For example:
See, I don’t like black women typically as a whole because they are a rude group, they’re a mean group, they’re a disgusting group and their main job is to destroy black men.
The majority of black women are pure evil.
He says that black women tear down their men, like how Robin Givens is still bad-mouthing Mike Tyson 20 years later. White women do not do that, not even when their men screw up. Look at Tiger Woods’s wife.
Black women hold on to their anger and have this hateful look on their face half the time. They throw more black men in prison than even white men do. They do that mainly over assault charges and missed child support payments – something he has experienced first-hand, having been arrested at least three times and thrown in prison once.
Black women were already bad in his grandmother’s time (1950s?) – they were hot in the pants, not interested in being good mothers and wives. And they have been getting worse ever since.
Dark-skinned women are the worst: they hate themselves and then wonder why no one likes them. He does think they are naturally uglier than light-skinned women, but they make it far worse than it has to be by their self-hatred, by not taking pride in their beauty, by wearing those “hair hats” that do not look good on them. Just look at Kelly Rowland!
He rarely bashes black men, but says that is because they are already bashed enough.
He has no trouble calling out the racism of white men.
He gives a huge pass to white women. They are like how women should be. They are not as racist as black women imagine. But he does not point out, say, that Tiger Woods’s supposedly long-suffering wife sued him for $750 million.
He is not playing to a white audience – black women are his main demographic.
I do not think he is trolling – saying shocking things just to draw attention to himself and get his ratings up. He seems to be saying what he truly thinks.
Rather, Sotomayor is a male counterpart of BWE, the Black Women’s Empowerment movement. It is the same trope with the sexes reversed:
- DBR: Damaged Beyond Repair: Blacks of the opposite sex are seen as completely screwed up.
- Worse Than White People: Most of the ills of Black America are blamed on the opposite sex, not on racism.
- Idealization of whites of the opposite sex – despite their dark past (rape, lynching, etc) and ongoing white racism (seen as “not as bad as people think”).
This comes from internalized racism – the anti-black racism that blacks pick up from the white mainstream culture. It is supported, like all stereotyped thinking, by confirmation bias, by cherry-picking. That is how Robin Givens becomes What Black Women Are Like.
See also:
Always good to read you blog. It keeps me in touch and thinking. Cheers!
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I don’t listen to this guy and never heard of him until people started talking about him on this blog.
If he is bashing black women why are they his largest demographic? Black women’s loyalty to black men, I guess. We have support them in everything they do.
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LOL! This guy has issues. He suffers from Stockholm Syndrome (internalized racism). First time hearing about him via Peanut. I say-Good riddance, he should go marry a white woman and ride off into the sunset 😀 PEACE
*sidenote* Abagond-you did leave the door open for trolls to bash Black women (oh well, nothing new-off to listen to India Arie’s Not the Average Girl)
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Hes basically a Sexist who buys into racism. He’s a traitor.
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I think as long as he is not beating up or bullying people, he should not be banned. Let him express his opinions (even if he does have issues). He admits that what he says is his opinion, right?
My father also had these kind of issues. He dissed non-white women yet beat his white wife up often (I think as a surrogate for the white men who dissed him outside in the world). He had something beyond just issues.
If people do not like what he says or does, then either ignore him, or condemn his views, just as you would expect people to do to you if they do not share your views.
It would be different if Mr. Sotomayor were, say, superintendent of schools, or a key academic or political figure.
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Why would blk women with sense listen to this fool! He is full of hell and his own projections. He is bucking for the white man and his racism. Everything he says is about him. He is full of no self esteem. He has no self worth. He blames blk women for his problems. He plays the victim.
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Is it internalized racism when his hate is reserved for black women? I don’t think that phrase fully captures his issue.
It is racialized misogyny.
This post sounds like a defense of Sotomayor.
Comparing this to the Paula Deen post:
You summarize his many of his opinions without giving quotes from him. Even though I’m sure there are plenty to choose from, unlike the Deen post.
You say that he shouldn’t be banned, unlike the Deen post.
You try to downplay his racist misogyny as going overboard sometimes.
You offer up excuses for his racism: he is trying to be intelligent and honest. There were no excuses offered for Deen.
I could be wrong, like I said, I haven’t listened to guy, I’m just going from impressions from the ladies on the blog. Maybe, he really isn’t that bad. Maybe they are just evil black women trying to demonize him.
All in all, I think this Sotomayor guy and this post illustrate my thoughts on black women, black men, and loyalty. Racism, Sexism and misogyny prevent most black men from being loyal to black women.
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I’ve watched several of his videos on YouTube.
I agree that he does believe in what he is saying
I think its his bread and butter to be a hated personality that he as created for himself.
I don’t agree with a lot of things he says about black women,i do believe however, some things he says, have some validity.
I lean more to the ladder, so i don’t watch his videos anymore.
I love my black women and he does not, so that makes us opposites.
Far as banning him from YouTube, if you ban him, then you would have to ban, everyone.
Freedom of speech….
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Solesearch
“Racism, Sexism and misogyny prevent most black men from being loyal to black women.”
*******
“Most?”
.
When/if “most” black men are being disloyal to black women – what exactly does this disloyalty look like? I’m not sure I’m understanding your racism, sexism, misogyny connection regarding most black men (in the USA?).
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I like Tommy Sotomayor. Here is a man that has the balls to say that the Black community and especially black women have f*cked up!
A lot of his supporters are actually black women.
Thank god for this man because black people are now starting to see that a lot of what he said is true.
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I watched a couple of his videos a while ago after someone posted about how he hates black women. I was offended by his words and never listened again.
I think some black women get so angry and argumentative with him that they are drawn to him daily. They want to see “what will this fool say today”? Sort of like people who hate Rush Limbaugh but listen to him constantly.
I don’t have time for his black woman bashing and I don’t agree with him so I don’t listen. I understand criticizing things that he finds wrong with some black women, but he seems to make “blanket statements” that all black women are the same “mean, ugly, gold diggers, fat, lazy,…” Forget him.
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Abagond. You are one of my all time favorite bloggers. I read you every day, and read old posts and generally enjoy your blog. Your writing is brilliant. So please take my following criticism in the spirit of someone who is an ardent supporter of you and your blog – one that I pass it along at every opportunity.
Like most men, you have a blind spot about women a mile long. Case in point: It took you three posts regarding “why white men don’t marry black women” before you finally realized that maybe it was the other way around and that you hadn’t taken black women’s feelings into account at all. You were actually surprised by this.
It is thoroughly exasperating when even the most educated and enlightened men can spout caveman type idiocy towards women. It’s why every single Republican Senator and Representative is a complete dumbass despite every last one of them being a college educated man.
Men rarely take into account how they are treated by women is a direct result of how they act towards women. The man you’re writing about, by his own admission, has fathered at least one child and left a woman alone to raise it. Or, to be more apt, he fathered a child, and the woman decided it was better to raise her child alone than to put up with his bullshit one minute longer.
So you will now understand why I cannot agree with you that the idiot you’re writing about shouldn’t be banned from YouTube. He should be. Trying to sound intelligent is not the same thing as actually being intelligent and making an intelligent point.
His words aren’t doing anything other than perpetuating a female version if the “black brute stereotype” which you define as white people thinking that of “black men: as savage, violent, amazingly strong and not caring about right and wrong.
As far as he’s concerned black women are pretty much the same. Black women are the violent and savage aggressors. Black women make black men hate us.We get our men locked up for petty reasons. We are angry and “mean” in general and to black men in particular. And just overall unpleasant for reasons black men simply don’t understand. (Much like white people never understanding racism or thinking anything is racist or why black people make such a fuss about it.)
Maybe he shouldn’t be banned. As many will point out, he has the right to say what he says. But he should be roundly condemned by men like you, not mildly condoned.
If sistahs can’t turn to men like you for support then we’ll just have to fight this battle alone. But it would be nice if just once, there was a single intelligent man who didn’t think these assholes have a point.
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You remind me of those guys who think that MRA’s have valid opiniona despite being considered a hate group by the SLPC. You validate these so-called opinions and in this casw fail to acknowledge racialized misogny and racialized sexism when it is right in front of you. If you don’t understand why a bully and hate mongerer ought to be banned you are no better than an enabler of abuse. This is the last time I am reading your blog.
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Sotomayor should not be banned
Ok…
While he does go overboard sometimes, he is also trying to be honest and intelligent.
Not ok. Overboard sometimes? It sounds as if he is preoccupied with this. You seem to be struggling to be objective in this post Abagond.
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“No nation can rise higher than its woman.” — the Honorable Elijah Muhammad
“Social progress can be measured by the social position of the female sex.” — Karl Marx
This is something every group of men understand except the american negro male, which is why he continues to struggle and suffer along the bottom of every social and economic demographic in america.
And this lack of understanding that a man can only rise as high as he holds his women
is one of the main reasons it has been SO EASY for white people collectively to keep his foot on the black male’s NECK, because only a psychologically DESTROYED male would trash the place he came from — the women who represent his mothers, grandmothers, sisters, and daughters
while rewarding and praising the same people (racist white man and especailly racist white woman!) who have participated in and benefited from his oppression over the last 500 YEARS. Now, that is a stone cold recipe for SELF-GENOCIDE.
Black males like Sotomayor are playing right into the hands of the white slave-owners and the white supremacy system that destroyed the African male/African female relationship and black family.
I could see this coming years ago, the open warfare between black males and females — most of the GUNFIRE coming from black males — and I have watched the anti-blackness among black people explode in the last 10 to 15 years thanks to the white MEDIA using black “entertainers” to degrade and defile and defame and stereotype other black people — especially black females.
All in the name of “black progress” as more blacks became “black rap music stars” and “black movie stars” and black “comedians” and “black TV stars” who white people paid a LOT of money to degrade and dehumanize other black people.
All of this has been widely successful because the american negro does NOT know who we are (having had our identity stripped from us 500 years ago) we allow our enemies via the media to DEFINE who we are and what we — black male and black female — should be to each other.
And we eagerly accepted the UGLY images of ourselves because we seemed to think a handful of blacks making “big money” was more important than respecting ourselves.
It looks like the white slave-owners and today’s white supremacy system have succeeded beyond their wildest expectation, and to see this SUCCESS all one has to do is to look at the rapid decline of the black family, that heart-breaking despair of black children nationwide, the rising unemployment and homelessness and poverty rates of black people nationwide, the rising rate of incarceration of blacks males and females, the rising suicide and mental illness rate,
and the rising number of blacks being literally PURGED out of the schools, the universities, the workforce and even inner-city urban areas and their homes is a testimony to the success of the destruction of black people in america
while we continue to fuss and fight with each other demonstrating before the entire planet the american negro’s GROSS COLLECTIVE ANTI-BLACKNESS, CONFUSION, INSANITY, AND SELF-HATRED for gleefully participating in our own demise.
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@ vindicator
Why is it the belief that black women alone are f*cked up? In fact I have often heard that black women are the ones carrying the black race. The problem with Sotomayor is most of what he is discussing and what most of his viewers don’t get is that he really is pointing out flaws of a minority of black women and trying to say it is all black women. He is not and has not change what most black women were already doing.
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^^^^^^ PREACH IT !!!!!
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The easiest thing Black people can do is to STOP listening to Tommy Sotomayor. I don’t pay him one ounce of attention.
I bet that if he was talking like Mr. Neely Fuller, Dr. Welsing, or other conscious Black scholars, he’d get much less views.
But I will say that I notice this trend of Black people bashing each other via YouTube. I don’t see Whites, Asians, and Hispanics doing this at the same rate that we do, so maybe we need to consider this anti-blackness we have within ourselves. It’s an ugly trait we need to really get rid of.
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FYI: my last post is referring to TrojanPam’s post.
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Sotomayor is a disrespectful sorry excus3 of a little boy with issues. I can’t take him seriously and anyone who takes his so called advice is a wack job. It is like getting counseling for drug use from a regular drug user. overboard. .. lol
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@ sondis and solesearch
It is the ATTEMPTED SEXISM of some black males who are ATTEMPTING to imitate white male sexism against white females.
I say “ATTEMPTED” because practicing sexism requires POWER and black males collectively do not have POWER in a white supremacy system
They can’t stop black females or anyone else from living, working or playing where they choose to live, work or play
IN FACT
most black females are DOING BETTER than black males when it comes to education and economics
and that is where a lot of this resentment (even hatred) comes from, that the black male has been TAUGHT by example, that a man is supposed to be “above” his woman and the black male has never experienced that due to the white supremacy system
so due to his FEAR of confronting his true oppressors (racist white man and racist white woman) he takes the EASY way out by trying to oppress (control and degrade and belittle) the ONLY PERSON IN AMERICA that he thinks he can control, oppress, and degrade without suffering the WRATH of white supremacy system
the black female
The black male starting with slavery has neve been able to fully function as a man and had to watch the white male rape and abuse and degrade his women and children
and so to salvage his self-esteem and his sanity he decided they weren’t worth protecting or saving. I give this story in the book, “Black Love Is A Revolutionary Act”
and so we are still acting out our SLAVE OPPRESSION some 150 years later, this POISONOUS DYNAMIC of SELF-GENOCIDE on both a psychological and economic and sexual level.
as far as Sotomayor having some “valid” things to say, hell, a white racist can say some “valid” things about black people, and black females could say a hell of a lot of “valid” things about black males
but that is beside the point. The real issue — to me — is do black people want to survive what is coming? Do black people see the need to overcome our manufactured “personal” differences — because NONE OF US are free from defects
It is ridiculous to me for ANYONE to justify the VERBAL DUNG that the Tommy Sotomayors spew into the air just because they have met some black females they “didn’t like’
So what? I’ve met some black males I didn’t like but that would be NO excuse for me to spew filth all over the Internet about ALL black males and the black males who are “kinda” defending Sotomayor, I GUARANTEE you would NOT be defending me
It is SO absurd to me that any black male in america would waste precious time and energy bashing black females when it is white people who are putting him out of work and putting him into prison, and who control a system that would allow white cops to pump 100 bullets into unarmed black males and females while allowing Zimmerman to walk free after murdering Trayvon Martin with a 9mm
and any black male who thinks I’m the biggest problem he has…
DESERVES WHATEVER HE GETS
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Ugh. I just erased my comment. I got nothing. But I know silence can be construed as complicity so: NO just NO. That is all. I’m with Solesearch, ThatDeborahGirl and TrojanPam on this one. Peace OUT.
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Matari, I’m referring to this post by Peanut.
In it she says:
I added that loyalty to me was:
and this comment by her:
and my comment:
and my comment to Bulanik on the Booty Dancing post explains my thoughts on the connection between racism and sexism:
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@Trojanpam
*APPLAUSE
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@ ThatDeborahGirl
Thank you. That was a helpful comment.
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@ Solesearch
I have long felt AND long advocated that MORE black males need to SPEAK OUT against the Tommy Sotomayors and Don Imuses of the world
Because DEFENDING and PROTECTING WOMEN is a CORNERSTONE of MANHOOD in every culture on the planet — except the negro culture.
it is why white males made so many movies showing themselves as HEROES and DEFENDERS of white womanhood (even while many were practicing homosexuality)
because the white man KNOWS that the way he PUBLICLY treats his women says EVERYTHING about the kind of MAN he is .
(While he encourages and praises and rewards the negro male for doing the opposite and privately laughs his butt off at the self-destructive and self-disrespecting confused negro male)
come on now, let’s tell the truth here, that’s exactly what is happening.
I would LOVE black males to defend my almost nonexistent honor that has been trashed from the FIRST day I stepped off the slave boats but on the real, but I don’t expect overnight miracles.
What I tell black males is — don’t do it for me. DO IT FOR SELF
I believe PRACTICING the ways of manhood would do WONDERS for the black male’s MANHOOD — that he was robbed of from the first day he stepped off the slave ship.
Instead of ROLLING OVER and laying belly up and demonstrating to their women, children and the rest of the world that the male negro really has been completely destroyed.
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Abagond this post is extremely disappointing. Your defense of this completely heinous jerk is shocking. I have nothing more to add that That Deborah Girl and Trojan Pam have not already covered. Thank you ladies.
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TrojanPam, black men have the power to speak up for black women or not to. They have the power to reinforce white male supremacy with their words and actions.
They are not completely powerless. Your definition of power is very convenient. Everyone has power over what they do, think and say. The only thing we are controlled by is our desires. Too many black men desire to deflect the racism directed at them onto black women, the only group of people in America who has even less institutional power than they do.
Even with the educational disparity, black men make more money than black women.
From http://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/wkyeng.pdf:
“Among the major race and ethnicity groups, median weekly earnings for black men working at full-time jobs were $666, or 75.0 percent of the median for white men ($888). The difference was less among women, as black women’s median weekly earnings ($597) were 82.6 percent of those for white women ($723). ”
I agree with your analysis of why black men do what they do. There are also reasons white men do what they do. And reasons white women do what they do.
The only difference is that we don’t excuse white men or white women. Why excuse black men? Why continue this one-sided loyalty?
Black men are no more our allies than white men or white women are. We won’t get anywhere by lifting them up at our expense. Their salvation is not our salvation.
I don’t really have a problem with sticking by them and loving them anyway. It is the noble thing to do. I have problem understanding why this notion isn’t extended to white people. Sounds like hypocrisy to me.
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@ solesearch
I promised myself that this time I would not try to hog Abagond’s blog so I’ll keep it short.
I agree, they are not powerless. Of course they can CHOOSE to defend us or not. And just as obviously, most have chosen NOT TO.
I also agree that black females have no real power and like you said, make less money and have less power AS women in a male-dominated society. When i spoke of doing better, I meant more black females graduate from college and there are more of us in the workforce.
I don’t agree that my posts “excuse” black males but in fact, hold them accountable for their behavior. I also feel that black males and females should be our allies because that is the only POSSIBLE alliance we could form.
That we haven’t done so is due to the 500 years of brainwashing and gross mistreatment under the system of white supremacy — and I don’t hold us accountable for that. I do hold us accountable for learning our history and trying to overcome it because we DO have the power to educate ourselves and change our own behavior.
I don’t waste any more time trying to get white people to do anything. I think they have demonstrated their unwillingness to “do the noble thing” toward black people. That is not hypocrisy, that to me is LOGICAL.
I hear where you’re coming from and can respect our differences in opinion. Thank u.
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@ trojan pam
wow u on a roll Bravo
I agree with u on all that u said. Some black men will just attack black women for everything, like the george zimmerman trial, they blaming rachel jeantel, when in reality she isn’t the one with george’s fate in her hands its white female jurors. They use a black face for things so that we get upset with that other black person when they are the ones pulling the strings and have the final say. it is why they put a black woman in charge of the schools in chicago and closed all those schools with her in the fore front. Why they didn’t do this before is simple they didn’t want a white person over it and black ppl calling them racist. They abhor the word racist it is like calling the devil out and exposing him it takes away some of their power. anyway tommy is lame and i encourage people to stop watching it especially black women. too many of us say we can’t stand shows like basketball wives & love & hip hop because it shows negative stereotypes about black women yet black women still watch it. I notice a lot of black men complain and say black women joined the feminist movement and messed the black community up. Well first off i don’t know anybody in my family that joined the feminist movement they were too busy raising a big family for all that. Second some of the ones that did, did so because the black movement wasn’t looking out as much for black women. Then when some of them joined the feminist movement they found they had to deal with racism, then they made the black feminist movement. Maybe if they were satisfied and felt protected they wouldn’t have left. They had to deal with sexism from the black movement and racism from the feminist movement. Still today we are in limbo and need to have our own organization for us black women, yet at the same time we don’t just abandon the black community either.
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TrojanPam,
I agree. The hypocrisy I spoke of was in regards to not holding our loyalty to black men to the same standard. Have they demonstrated a willingness to do the noble thing towards black women? Why try to enlighten them and not white people?
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If no nation rises higher then their women then what sense does it make for some black men to bash black women? simple, it doesn’t, everybody knows this but some of them.If u stay putting black women down don’t think you will get ahead, then blame black women for your failure. Yes black women have issues but so do black men, and imo nobody wins if we try to see who is worse than who. What do u gain by saying these men/ women are no good and they do xyz. U just made yourself mad and didn’t fix a dang thing. I think a lot are cowards, they’ve been defeated and think if u can’t beat em join em. This is why we have these peter pans going around blaming black women for everything, because they don’t feel like men. They start mimicking their oppressor because they see how successful they are. The native americans did it now black men are doing it. But what they don’t realize is that they are mimicking the oppressor they will probably meet their end the same as the oppressors. It is a double standard with the way some black men act toward black women and other races of women. Black woman gets divorced and gets some child support and alimony everybody calling her gold digger. white woman divorces black man, takes half his money and gets child support that money goes back into white hands thus furthering white supremacy *crickets*. Tim duncan is going to get a divorce and his wife cheated on him, yet i don’t hear people saying oh she is a ho and gold digger. Yall have been trained to put each other on blast for the little scraps that somebody else gets, but u are silent when a white person walks away with the steak.
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@ Trojan Pam
You always tell the truth of the matter, and I absolutely LOVE that.
It’s like what you’ve said on The COWS about the theory of non-participation. Black people have to STOP criticizing and blaming each other for our pain and START doing constructive things to produce change.
I highly doubt that Tommy Sotomayor’s videos are going to help Black men get better employment, lower their imprisonment rate, or improve their educational prospects. In my book, his work is NOT constructive and needs to be avoided because those – and many other problems – hinder Black males and females from having better relationships with each other.
Our people really embody the “Crabs in a barrel” mentality. Rather try to counter our problems and the people who mistreat us directly, we always seem to turn against each other. And that needs to stop.
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@ Mstoogood4yall
That is a trick white supremacists have successfully used on the american negro from day one. Pitting field against house slave. Black males against black females. And we still haven’t seen the trick they used, I think, because we don’t want to see it because once we stop blaming each other, we’d have to confront our real enemies and do something about it.
and that SCARES US TO DEATH, especially the black male because he knows from experience that racist white man and racist white woman will put a hurting on a black male.
Daniel Moynihan, a white Senator in the 60s (I think) came out with a “report” that said the black female ’emasculated’ the black male — putting ALL the blame on the black female for the black male’s “condition” during segregation (????)
and many black males have been riding that TRAIN TO NOWHERE ever since. Holding black females accountable for what white people are doing to them (???) and saying we “conspired” with white females against them in the racist white woman’s liberation movement. I never met a single black female who called herself a “feminist,” — like you said, most were too busy trying to hold down the home front, working a job, cooking, cleaning, AND raising the children.
YET these same “revolutionary” black males who were accusing black females of everything under the sun, never called out the the white female for being a racist
because they were too busy sexing and marrying her to accuse her of anything and I see some are still doing that 30 years later and all I can think is — What kind of utter madness is that?
Over the years, I have heard some absolutely insane things come of black males’ mouths, like, “The only free people in america are the white man and the black woman” and “the white female is just as oppressed as black people”
and that used to TICK ME OFF to no end, black males showing MORE empathy for white females than for the females who RAISED and LOVED and EDUCATED THEM
And I would always challenge that MADNESS because the last time I looked i was still a n**ger and was still being mistreated, stereotyped and sexually and economically exploited and I D sure wasn’t “FREER” than the white female (!)
Then I began to understand WHY so many black males had bought into the LIE:
to make themselves feel better about being oppressed and to hide from their OWN FEAR of challenging their white oppression
Just blame ME — a black female.
Black males like Sotomayor and his “supporters” are like watching a black male in a sinking boat who is just minutes away from drowning, and his only response is trying to hold the head of the black female under the water to make sure she drowns first instead of trying to plug the holes in his own boat then pulling her into the boat to help him plug up the holes
That to me is the best description of the MENTAL ILLNESS that plagues many black males in america today.
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@ Mstoogood4yall
You’re right!
I also see a growing number of Black men who say that White women are their closest allies, but then they’ll say Black feminism is destroying the Black family.
And do you ever notice how Black people have more lip for other Blacks but not for Whites? I’m guilty of this myself, but I feel like this a really dangerous habit of ours.
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@ Abagond
I thought SrgtWilliePete had two Black parents. I recall him saying on many videos that his mom was dark-skinned.
But even he acknowledged that many White females that he dated/had sex with didn’t respect him since he was black; both he and the White females knew this. Perhaps his played a role in his negative relationships with Black women. If you’re disrespected by other people, you are prone to being the same way towards those who you see as weaker than yourself.
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@ Ms J
who said, “I highly doubt that Tommy Sotomayor’s videos are going to help Black men get better employment, lower their imprisonment rate, or improve their educational prospects.”
Now, ain’t that the TRUTH?!??
The not so funny part is the WHITE FEMALE is rising the FASTEST up the corporate ladder while the black male is falling off the FASTEST and from what I can see, the white female ain’t holding out a helping hand to him…
It is utter insanity that bashing black females would be given any amount of time or energy or credibility from black males who are in a sinking ship (and so are we with them by default)
the irony is the more black males divide themselves from black females and bash us, telling themselves the LIE that we are the problem, the worst things seem to be getting for them.
The overall condition of black males where I live (in the Chicago area) is heartbreaking when it comes to mental illness, homelessness, suicide, homicide, criminality, homosexuality, fatherlessness, pants hanging off the azz-itis, unemployment OFF THE CHAIN, incarceration and police brutality OFF THE CHAIN, locking black males up for any and everything, expelling them from schools for any and everything,
and more and more and more black males (in my city) are standing on the corner and outside liquor stores at EIGHT IN THE MORNING drinking out of brown paper bags or stopping you on the street either asking for a handout OR trying to sell me a “loose square” (a single cigarette)
while black females are standing at the bus stop going to work at mostly low-paying jobs
It is really bad here in Chicago for black people, so bad that the imagery of the past — before so-called integration and during segregation — are now haunting the streets of Chicago with a distinct flavor and it’s called
DESPAIR
It’s so thick among the 30 PERCENT (!) of black males that are UNEMPLOYED in my city that you can CUT IT WITH A KNIFE.
That’s why I’m AMAZED that ANY black male would spend any amount of time bashing black females. OR bashing the young black female on the witness stand in the Trayvon Martin
INSTEAD of blaming the white prosecutor who allowed a jury with NO black people on it and who obviously DID NOT prep Rachel Jeantel BEFORE she testified and if Zimmerman walks, some of us will be blaming HER for no other reason than she’s a “mean and evil” dark-skinned black female.
sad, sick, and self-genocidal behavior, that’s the only way I can describe it.
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@ Ms J
Like someone once said, “Hurt people hurt people.”
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Now, I’m not a misogynist, I just don’t love these hoes. My thing with black women is “Find ’em, Friend ’em, Fuck ’em, Flee.” That is the right thing.
Now having said that, Mr Jerome Brown aka Mr. Sotomayor is not the right thing.His reasoning is filled with loaded questions, faulty assumptions, cherry picking, and other such fallacious reasoning. He also code-shifts: when he is with a white audience , like his interview with HappyCabbie, where he he tries to be a serious black man, and every other time, when he becomes silly for sake of being silly. Also. much of his rationale is taken from the more intelligent and lucid Thugtician, who did not waste time with long-ass videos
But the sad thing is, his most important theme is ignored because he is so acerbic – that the unbridled veneration of black mothers has caused them to be excused from actions that would lead to most other races of women to be villified and even imprisoned, namely their verbal and psychological abuse.
I don’t like weaves.Using a Chinese/Indian/wilderbeest pubic hair to decorate you head instead of your own is just plain retarded. But aside from one video, hys talks on that do nothing but cause division between black women and men. His account of black feminism is just plain ahistorical, and his “worship” of white women is just a thinly veiled attempt to rile up black women, or to guilt them into behaving better.
He has no end game – what is the world that he dreams of? The answer may surprise you.
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This is a very interesting thread. TrojanPam and Solesearch in particular, your back and fourth is enlightening. I’m a white man, but your thoughts on the actions of men in general ring true to me – I especially appreciate your comment that
“DEFENDING and PROTECTING WOMEN is a CORNERSTONE of MANHOOD in every culture on the planet ” I happen to agree with you – or that it should be.
In my own community however, I am seeing a decline of that mind set, and white men, rather than becoming combative and aggressive regarding their women, are tending towards bitchiness and whining. White women are seen as feminizing the white male culture – starting with the over whelming number of young white females in the elementary school systems. There’s no way a recently graduated 22 year old female is ready to cope with a dozen or more 12 year old boys in the 6th grade. I think this accounts for the huge upswing in medicated little boys – they don’t have a male figure in the class room to quell their little boy BS.
I know that’s off topic, but I just wanted to join the discussion a bit.
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@ all black males
If I may add one more thing (and please forgive me for posting so much but some of Abagond’s topics really hit HOME with me)
Please, please consider what I’m about to say;
Black females are the MOTHERS of the next black generation and if they are constantly and relentlessly DEGRADED they cannot properly raise OR civilize their black children.
For a woman to be ABLE to CIVILIZE her children, she must be treated in a CIVIL MANNER. So, the way that black male REFER to black females is SUPER IMPORTANT in how the black female SEES herself and HOW civilized she behaves and what kind of MOTHER she will become.
That’s why the Honorable Elijah Muhammad (and Muhammed Ali) spoke about this so often. Because he was a black man who came out of the most brutal racist era and he knew what the dangers were of degrading your OWN women.
There is NO WAY black people can civilize our black girls who will one day become black WOMEN when they see black males calling them foul names and/or degrading them
and most of the black females today under the age of 40 have grown up hearing the LANGUAGE of rappers about black females and have SEEN the imagery of so many famous black males choosing anything but a black or black-looking female
(and I don’t mention white people in this because they have ALWAYS degraded us AND if black people DEFENDED each other, I personally could care LESS what white people said)
One last thing to consider:
These degraded black MOTHERS are raising the NEXT GENERATION OF BLACK BOYS and if YOU teach them to HATE black males because they believe you are DEGRADING them instead of protecting and DEFENDING them
these DEGRADED black females may ONE DAY take out their HURT FEELINGS on their BLACK SONS
(Unfortunately, I have SEEN this happen)
Hurt people hurt people.
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@ ms j
Yeah i noticed it, yes some believe white women are their allies rofl. Yet these will be the same hypocrites that will say black women shouldn’t have joined white women’s feminist movement. If they tell us that some of us messed up joining them then what sense does it make for them to say they wanna join them? smh. If when george gets off or gets a light sentence they will probably blame rachel jeantel and not the white female jury.
I’ve also noticed as u said that we will talk about other blacks before we talk about whites. People were talking all that noise about usher ex wife, but were silent about terrence howard’s racist ex wife. We’ve been conditioned not to talk about whites, especially white women, it was a rule during jim crow that blacks couldn’t talk about whites.
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Sadly, Sotomayor’s point is that they already are. Its a shame that he obscures this behind all his foolishness.
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@ trojan pam
Yep some do take their anger out on their sons especially if they look like the childs father that hurt them. Either that or they try to mold their son into what they want in a man and their son becomes a sonsband.
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@ Solesearch, etc
At the risk of putting my foot further in my mouth:
1. I did not think I was defending him. I listed his opinions as I understand them and then said they were driven by internalized racism and based on confirmation bias.
2. I did sucker myself into answering the question of whether he should be banned since that was in my opening paragraph. In truth, I would be against the banning of even Stormfront. You do not fight ideas by silencing them.
In his case, banning him would be the worst thing you could do: it would only make it seem like he is right, that black women could not bear to hear it. It would strengthen his ideas and a new Sotomayor would arise to take his place. You do not fight ideas by shooting the messenger.
He should also not be banned because he is intelligent and honest at the same time. That is a rare thing, even if half of what he says is messed up.
3. There is a difference between criticism and bashing, between anger and hatred. I could be wrong, but Sotomayor strikes me as someone who is criticizing black women, not bashing them. Honest criticism is hard to beat, even if it is not always right.
4. I agree with Satanforce that his tactics are not the best. Worse, I do not think black women are the main issue – white racism and the internalized racism it leads to is the deeper issue.
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Or he could be drawing a paycheck by for what he does…
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@ Mstoogood4yall
Most black people grew up with the IMAGE of a WHITE JESUS – which ALSO means GOD MUST BE WHITE and by default more people, especially the white male become GOD-LIKE
which is why they FORCED Christianity down the throats of African slaves AFTER they took away our TRUE RELIGION — and why non-white people all over the planet were attacked by white “missionaries” holding the BIble in one hand and a stick in the other
How can you be a white racist slave trader or owner and a Christian at the same time? We NEVER asked that most important question
White people represent GOD to the former slaves so for some of us criticizing whites is NOT only dangerous it goes against our “slave religion”
Add to that the RELENTLESS PROGRAMMING in the white media, news and entertainment programming black people to be MORE empathetic toward whites saving and rescuing and assisting white females, white little girls, and white humanity in general
like Denzel and Morgan Freeman movies and Halle Berry’s movie
“The Call”) now saying that BLACK WOMEN are supposed to be MAN-LIKE, risking our lives to save the white damsel in distress ???
It’s no wonder we don’t criticize white people.
They are GOD-LIKE in our confused black eyes.
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I am not sure there is anything redemptive about a “gender war” narrative coming from Black men or women no matter how “logical” they may be in presenting their ideas.
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@ satanforce
Only addressing your last response to me
If some black mothers are already doing this (and maybe his was one of them) WHY are they doing this?
That’s the real issue. But to blame a DEGRADED PERSON for acting in a DEGRADED MANNER while you are STILL DEGRADING doesn’t make them the problem, it makes the people who STARTED the degradation
the real problem
and my advice to ALL the Sotomayors out there is this:
The next time there’s a Jena Six (where a BLACK FEMALE started a petition and the movement to bring justice to SIX BLACK BOYS being railroaded by white males and females into prison for a simple schoolyard fight)
ask the white and Asian and Hispanic females to support you and take that long 11 hour bus ride to Jena, Lousiana
The next time you get into trouble DO NOT CALL your black mother, grandmother, auntie, sister, or friend to BAIL YOU OUT
the next time you lose your JOB, DO NOT CALL your black mother, grandmother, auntie, sister, or friend to HELP YOU OUT or give you a place to stay or feed oyou
the next time you are sitting up in a JAIL CELL, DO NOT CALL your black mother, grandmother, auntie, sister, or friend to take the six-hour bus ride to PRISON or to put any MONEY on your “book”
the next time you need a college education or school supplies DO NOT CALL your black mother, grandmother, auntie, sister, or friend to do ONE D thing for you
the next time you open a business DO NOT CALL your black mother, grandmother, auntie, sister, or friend or black females in general to support you or your business
Instead
ask the Hispanic, white, and Asian female to bail you out, to march for you, to protest on your behalf, to visit you in prison and put money on your books, to raise you, educate you, support you, or do any of the MILLION THINGS
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Nooooo, you trying to take money from his pocket why you trying to get rid of Coca -Co… I mean his sponsors? Why you thumbs downing his videos and hating on him?
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@Abagond
This: “…they were driven by internalized racism and based on confirmation bias.” In my opinion negates his ability to be considered this: “…intelligent and honest at the same time.” Hate speech does not make room for intelligence and honesty to exist in it’s presence.
Also… “it would only make it seem like he is right, that black women could not bear to hear it.” So am understanding you to say that you believe that his hate speech towards Black women is something that we should learn to bear because his rights to his hate speech is more important that our right not be subjected to it?
“Worse, I do not think black women are the main issue – white racism and the internalized racism it leads to is the deeper issue.” If that were true I would think that it would be more evident.
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Honestly I hate Tommy Selloutayor! I hate the way he puts down Black women and lumps Black women into a mole that we are all ghetto, ratchet, weave looking bitches. We constantly refers to Black women as hoes and bitches in his videos. I am sick of Black men like him putting Black women down on Youtube, online and in public.
I am nothing like that at all and I am a Black woman.
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@ Satanforce
LOL. I was surprised at his lack of editing.
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(continued — accidentally hit the ENTER key)
that black females do for black males.
because I didn’t see ANY Hispanic females on that BUS to Jena, LA
I didn’t see any Asian females marching up and down to protest the killing of black male youth
and have NEVER, EVER seen a white female working two or three jobs to put their black sons through college
But I have seen black MOTHERS make HUGE sacrifices for their male and female children
and I have seen black FEMALES standing up and STARTING ORGANIZATIONS to defend and protect black boys even while black girls are seldom given the same in return by black males
It is DISGUSTING, DISTASTEFUL, DISHONORABLE, and frankly, UNGRATEFUL for black males FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER to bash black females as a group when the DEBT OWED is so HUGE
and I suspect, that, too, is part of the reason for so much black female bashing by some (not all) black males
The secret SHAME at needing so much AND giving back SO LITTLE
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@ phoebeprunelle
who said, “I am not sure there is anything redemptive about a “gender war” narrative coming from Black men or women no matter how “logical” they may be in presenting their ideas.”
You may very well be correct. I admit I am venting because this topic brings out a lot of resentment in me.
So, rather than risk doing any more “damage” to the discussion (not being sarcastic)
I will step back and observe (since I have already said what I wanted to say and take full responsibility for “putting it out there”)
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@ trojanpam
Yes that is exactly what i’ve been saying don’t support these types of men, if they think non black women are that much better then see ya. Get them to do everything for you support you, march for u, bail u out, and sign petitions. Good luck with that because most of them want to act colorblind and try to say its everything but racism. yes the white jesus mess is a shame, so is the white adam and eve smh. I will not teach my kids that whitewashed bs, i do believe in a higher power though. And the saving white girls thing gets black people nowhere except dead or mocked. Just look how they did charles ramsey, mocked him and put his past criminal record out there smh. i wouldn’t help any of them fk it.
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@ phoebeprunelle
Meant to add, I agree that he is probably being financially rewarded for his work which should tell us something if that is true.
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@Abagond
Sotomayor should not be banned. While he does go overboard sometimes, he is also trying to be honest and intelligent””
He SHOULD BE banned from Youtube for putting down his own race of women and uplifting White women. He is nothing but a ugly, bitter self hating tool that is being used by White supremacy. He is a disgrace to Black men all over the world.
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@ Trojan Pam
Yeah, when have Latina, Asian, and White women ever stood for the well-being of Black men and women in droves and made a whole movement to do such?
I’d like to hear from anyone who has the answer to that question.
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@ TrulyPC
1. For Sotomayor, black women are the main issue. I disagree with that. Even the gender war is a side effect of internalized racism. It can never be “won” at the level it is fought at.
2. What he does is not hate speech, not most of what I have seen. It is called criticism. If his main aim was just to bash black women, then, yes, he would be a waste of everyone’s time and it would be better if he just STFU.
One of his best videos that I have seen was the one with Kelly Rowland at some Essence magazine event.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o63Xn2pY7_0)
Some of what he said was cruel and pointless, like what he said about the interviewer. But his main points about Rowland hit the nail on the head. I was thinking each one in the back of my mind, but he gave voice each one and whacked it on the head.
At first I thought it was mean for him to pick on Rowland, but he went there and he was right. While I would never dream of talking like that about a female relative, and I doubt he would either, Rowland is a public figure, she helps to shape the ideas that black girls, particularly dark-skinned ones, have about themselves. So he was right to call her out on YouTube.
On the other hand, his video on Rachel Jeantel that Satanforce posted yesterday, I thought that was wrong. She was being DEHUMANIZED, she needed defending, not further trashing.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tnFCQGfrL8&feature=youtu.be)
So my point is that he is not all bad or all good. He is a decidedly flawed mix.
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i’m torn with whether he should be banned or not. on one hand it is freedom of speech and if they take him off then dangitt they need to ban the white racists who have more views as well. They try to silence black people especially the ones who have something good to say,i’ve seen positive black youtube accounts false flagged and taken down while the crazy ones still have their accounts. i don’t think tommy will be banned anytime soon at least not by the hands of black women, because we don’t run a dam thing. If he pises off whites or gays then he will be banned asap, but while its just black women people don’t care and he’s not going anywhere.
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No it merely shifts blame and creates a vicious cycle – one that can only be solved through introspection.
Examples I have seen Black man is going to go steady to one of his babymothers. The other babymother, in last ditch effort, gets pregnant by him so that he will stay. He doesn’t she takes out her resentment on son who look like his daddy, then son will go on to beat women who look just like his momma.
The son could realize the other women are not like his mom but chooses to harden his heart – just like his momma.
Examples I have seenI am underachiever with a shit job. So instead of working hard and ignoring the haters, I game high achieving black women into having sex with me, who I then punish with vigorous anal sex. While they lay in bed curled up, sobbing softly into their pillows (I am too ashamed to show them where I live), I smirk to myself, feeling powerful, as I have taught another black bitch a ‘lesson’. I could, of course man up, and stop wasting time doing stuff like spending all day posting comments on blogs, but I have hardened my heart, and refuse to face my own internal problems.
That is the real problem.
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@ Ms J
to respond to your direct post to me
I doubt you’ll get a response because I suspect most of us already know the answer. My main point is NOT to change the minds of Sotomayors but to EXPOSE it
Even the most virulent white racist can tell partial truths about black people but the important thing is the overall message AND intent
for example, he could say “black males overall commit a lot of crimes”
most black males would not sit there and nod their heads and say, “You know, he’s right” —
they would discard his entire message as “racist” even though some of what he said might be true about some of them. that’s why I doubt black males would be so “objective” if a black female “Sotomayor” posted nasty things about black males.
They wouldn’t even THINK of picking out the good parts and discarding the rest, they would trash her entire message and would throw her into the pit as a mean, angry, black male hating black female
And this is what ATTEMPTED SEXISM and BLACK MISOGYNY looks like
a HUGE DOUBLE STANDARD laced with a big dose of DENIAL
Black males will vigorously object to being stereotyped by anyone but seem to have no problem ignoring it when it happens to us (black females)
that is very unfortunate and now i will take a break from this
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@All
Tommy Selloutayor should be banned!!!!!!!!!! He is putting down and degrading Black women and it isn’t right. If you disagree, oh well, that is your opinion but he should be banned.
He is just a tool being used by White supremacy degrading Black women and promoting misogyny, sexism and uplifting of White women in his videos. I am not saying Black women are perfect but he truth is, White women can’t do anything for Black men but suck their ****s.
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@ Trojan Pam
Good point…
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It was actually part of a series that had an endgame. I only knew this because I went directly to the last video. The fool drownshis important points in a sea of trivia and meanness.
Of course, he has code switched, and is addressing a social issue. How the hell you going from clowning the she-gorilla in video 1, and then being a social advocate in video 5? That’s just lame.
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satanforce = clinical psychopath.
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Trojan Pam is right: I would probably not have so much patience with or see any merit in a Tomasina Sotomayor. I would still be against banning her, though.
So, I changed the last paragraph from this:
to this:
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@ abagond
Appreciate the honesty.
While I would like to see his channel wiped off the face of the map, that would open up a new can of worms — censorship — so I have to agree that he should not be banned. I wouldn’t worry too much about stopping him, he is his OWN worst enemy and the more he trashes us THE WORST HE WILL FEEL ABOUT HIMSELF because he came from a (probably) dark-skinned female
However, I would love to see black males challenge the stuffing out of him — what a boost that would give to healing the black male/female relationship!)
but unfortunately, we don’t see ourselves as “belonging” to each other (like other more intact cultures do) because the BOND was broken during 400 years of chattel slavery
that’s why black people who descended from SLAVES ARE THE ONLY “PEOPLE” who put so much energy into PUBLICLY DISSING our own women and girls.
You don’t see AFRICAN MEN doing it. You don’t see HISPANIC MEN doing it. You don’t see ASIAN MEN doing it. And while you might see an occasional white male DOING IT, he spends MORE TIME dissing non-white people and makes sure that they get a larger portion of his ridicule
and being GROOMED by white male culture is one reason the american negro male tries to IMITATE the contempt white males have for white females
and thatt’s why we all largely remain silent when other black people are harmed and why our children are at risk and why we don’t go out en masse and look for missing black children and why we don’t seem to care about having a black business or economic base and why black males don’t defend black females on ANY level
all of this is SYMPTOMATIC of the psychological damage done to the negro slave and unfortunately, we are still suffering from the Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome
which I believe will never be cured as long as some of us turn a BLIND EYE and DEAF EAR to the harm being done to other black people — including black females — the MOTHERS.
Any culture that does not defend or protect the MOTHERS is a people who are DOOMED to extinction. It least before integration and assimilation took rot in black people’s minds, all someone had to do to get into a fight with a black male was say:
“You momma!”
and the fight was ON. Now, not only do they not fight, they join in on-line to tear black mothers down.
It’s unfortunate how fall we have fallen as a once normal, once proud African people…
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The reason i don’t like tommy is because of how he just goes after black women and the language he uses. i can’t stand listening to someone who curses a lot. And in that vid where he was talking about kelly rowland. i can’t stand how he kept saying black b!@ch. If a black woman were to say ni@@s aint sheit black men would attack her.now u can use the excuse that oh if u say that word and that doesn’t describe u then don’t get offended, but u know doggone well u would be offended if a black woman said that. Also its crazy how when he talks about dark skinned black women he says oh u hate yourselves because you do this to ur hair and say u are brown etc. Well what about men like sammy sosa? doesn’t he have self hate and hate his blackness. I just don’t like the hypocrisy. BUt no for men like him some black men defend it and say oh maybe it was his uprbringing and his parents messed him up. well if u are going to defend him why not defend the black women who do some of the same self hating habits? Imo a lot of black women who wear weave that doesn’t look like their hair or feel they HAVE to change their hair do so because of what their mothers told them and did to their hair. You can’t say black is beautiful and black and proud when u do those things to ur child’s hair and tell them their hair is nappy and needs to be straightened to look better. SO imo u shouldn’t attack someone just for showing and/or saying what their insecurities are because we all struggle with insecurities in this white dominated society. WE all have some self doubt and self hate just to different degress, so u attack someone because their issues are more transparent? Unless that person was raised in a perfect household where they were told they are beautiful and their natural selves are beautiful and they decided on their own to change not out of being told to but their own accord then u can say what u want. BUt we don’t live in a perfect world where black youth are told they are valuable,beautiful, and should stay the same. There are schools that try to ban natural hair, to get black kids to conform. All i’m saying is don’t attack someone because of what they look like as we don’t know what their life is like or what their upbringing was. And if u still believe in white jesus and whitewashed history yet attack someone because their whitewashing is more visible u are a hypocrite.
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@Abagond
“Some of what he said was cruel and pointless, like what he said about the interviewer.”
I think that ALL of what he says is cruel, hateful and pointless. That disturbed person should be removed from YouTube because he is a hate-filled misogynist, sexist and racist. I could not even get through that video and to know that you and other Black men have been able to sit through this video and others like it and still continue to see him as having something worthwhile to contribute is quite frankly disturbing. That very fact is why it is truly impossible for Black women to relax and feel that every Black men can be an ally in this horrendous struggle of living in this white supremacist world. To have any Black person that willingly engages in white supremacist tactics be lauded and then have people excuse or defend his right to do it is absolutely insane and extremely hypocritical. The same would not be accepted from a white white supremacist.
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In his case, banning him would be the worst thing you could do: it would only make it seem like he is right, that black women could not bear to hear it.
No. It would make it seem like black women are actually human beings who shouldn’t be insulted merely because they’re black women.
I challenge you to find anyone on youtube dogging white women like this. “Shit White Girls say to Black Girls does not count.”
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Sotomayor is a contemptible, vulgar little man who obviously has no qualms about inflicting more damage to the African American collective psyche than has already been done. Is he under the impression he’s actually helping anybody posting his palpably hate filled psychotic projections against black women on YT? I’m mean here’s a man who’s the perfect embodiment of all he accuses other’s of being, specifically dark skinned black women, in so far as his willingness to show his own self hating, DARK, BLACK, tight behind for the sake of public consumption in an Olympian worthy effort to satiate his craven lust for attention. He’s a pathetic embarrassment, to my mind, rivaling, wrestling down, and then handily winning the gold champion medal against the sad caricature of a watermelon eating coon.
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@ Abagond
I watched all of the last video you posted on Kelly Rowland to gain some insight into many of the comments posted here.
Not being familiar with Tommy Sotomayor I can easily pick up that this man is not very intelligent. In fact he really is extremely ignorant and dumb. Just because he is able to express himself or “rant” does not empower him with Zen like qualities!
Everything he expressed about Kelly Rowland in the video could equally have been said about “light skinned” Black women. So why specifically single out “dark skinned” Black women?
This is what I mean by unintelligent and ignorant. He is simply obscuring his own prejudice for “light skinned” Black women or white women. Hiding his deep seated hatred or contempt for “dark skinned” / Black women.
Its hard not to consider a possible ulterior financial motive for doing it publicly in this manner.
Nothing wrong with having prejudices or preferences – we all have them. The problem comes when we try to rationalize or make them appear logical. By definition they are not! They cannot be…!
But this is what some of us attempt to do when confronted with accusations of racism or, in this case, sexism.
This is why as you probably, carefully on reflection, decided to change that paragraph as you did. Its easy to see the “double standard” that could be leveled at the way this post has been written. If this had been a Black woman expressing similar prejudices at “dark skinned” Black men I doubt if she would have been seen as “honest and intelligent” or simply expressing “uncomfortable truths”.
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In other words it would turn him into a martyr and he could then use his banned state to validate his points?
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I’m back 🙂
Not only do the Tommy Sotomayors encourage the degradation of black females (to feel better about themselves the SAME WAY whites want to feel superior to black people)
They are ALSO automatically ENCOURAGING the destruction of BLACK MALES
which is one reason so many black males KILL EACH OTHER due to an extreme case of INTERNALIZED SELF-HATRED which many are SPEWING onto black females because there is SO MUCH it cannot be CONTAINED within themselves
and if you doubt this is true, look at the BLACK MALE ON BLACK MALE HOMICIDE RATE. Black males are killing other black males because “he looked at me” and “he stepped on my shoe”
and the ONLY permissible way to feed that starving BLACK MALE EGO is to find someone else to DOG OUT
But what the Tommy Sotomayors of the world fail to realize is
IF the (black) MOTHER of a nation is a worthless W*HORE (and tramp and b*tch and “pure evil”)
then the PRODUCT OF HER BLACK WOMBS — her MALE and female are worthless, too.
so while some (not all) black males are participating in the degradation of black females — the BLACK MOTHERS — they are sealing their OWN FATE and guaranteeing their OWN LOW SELF-ESTEEM
The BEST and QUICKEST way for black males to RISE OFF THEIR KNEES is to STOP trying to force black females down on ours.
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Darn! I wanted to do a post on him. 🙂
After listening to him once, I couldn’t take it anymore. To add insult to injury is that he has a large audience for a Youtube commentator, and a giant following on Twitter, some of whom are black women as well. WTH??
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correction: “…then the PRODUCT OF HER BLACK WOMBS — her MALE and female children will be worthless, too.”
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This whole weave vs natural hair and accepting their “natural” beauty debacle is some serious double standard bs. Non-black women color their hair, use “extensions,” which is another word for weaves, and wigs all the time, Katy Perry anyone, female country music stars anyone? What about plastic surgeries?? The most numerous customers of plastic surgeons are white women. They get fake boobs, fake noses, fake lips, and other fake body parts. Where are the videos that “criticize” them for not accepting their supposed natural beauty? It’s not just in the United States, South Korea, Japan, and China are right behind the United States in terms of numbers of plastic surgeries. You would be alarmed by the amount of Asians who get blepharoplasty, which is a surgery that changes a single eyelid appearance into double eyelids which is more “western” looking. Although there is quite bit of controversy about this surgery in the Asian community, I don’t see any Asian men going on YouTube vilifying women who go through this surgery and try to pass it off as “criticism.” We live in a world where a sexually attractive woman is placed on a pedestal, and the pressure of what society NOW considers to be sexually attractive falls on ALL women, and some women fall prey to meets its narrow definition, including white women. But yet we expect black women not to be affected by it? Yeah that makes sense…
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@TrojanPam
I really don’t know what else to say other than you are a very intelligent sister. I really mean that, you talk so much sense, the knowledge you teach on every post you write should seem so obvious and clear as day but we as Blacks, most of the time, don’t always seem to understand the subtle methods of White supremacy. You have really got me thinking about the relationships between Black men and Black women more and more. You are very eloquent and truthful. I wish I could meet you in real life. Sorry if that sounds corny…lol.
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As Black people, we have a horrible habit of thinking that degrading other Blacks will not harm us personally.
If I spend all my time and energy dogging Black men, and Black males do vice versa, what does it say about me? I’m the product of both a Black male and female.
And when you think of it, it makes sense why Whites stay loyal to each other despite all their conflicts surrounding gender, class, sexuality, and ethnicity. No matter what, they understand that their fate is linked together.
For instance, I notice that a segment of the white population online will talk about the Zionist Jews causing them problems, but these same whites NEVER speak out about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
In a day and age where anti-blackness is rising, we can’t afford to co-sign the degradation of each other. Because I think the “Colorblind” gloves are going to come off for real. But our behavior is still understandable. We grow up in a culture where terror against Black people was – and arguably still is – praised as “the American way”.
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This is all just really, really insane to me as it seems like this whole thing boils down to a Black woman’s skin tone–something that her Black father (Y chromosome) marked her with in the first place.
No matter what skin tone you carry as a Black person–guess what? It is NATURAL…!
What the h**l????
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abagond,
I really don’t know what to say. You are obviously blinded by your own sexism.
Honest criticism?
That’s honest criticism? If this was said about black men would you characterize it as honest criticism? It is stereotyping. It is misogynistic and racist
Intelligent? I detect no intelligence from anything you’ve posted about him.
Instead of summarizing his opinions as you understand them, why not use his own words? Because then you couldn’t downplay his sexism.
I couldn’t care less if he was banned or not. I don’t think he should be, but I won’t be rushing to defend his free speech rights. Which is what you have done in an attempt to turn the discussion away from whether he is right or wrong onto something that you can actually defend without causing you too much cognitive dissonance.
It’s amazing how you do all of this posts on how you can’t prove racism to most white people, how stereotypes have no truth, about white people’s moral blindness and then write something like this. All those things are just as true for most black men.
The fact that you adopt these white viewpoints when the target goes from black people to black women illustrates that your loyalty isn’t truly to black people but black men.
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There is nothing I can add to this that hasn’t already been said. Sotomayor and his filthy sewage spewing fecal matter from his fility orifice of a nasty toilet of a mouth. Shameful and disgusting. I don’t listen to this garbage didn’t know about him until I came to the internet and black blogs. Sociopath is the only way to describe him. This is just sick.
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@ Solesearch
Where have I adopted white viewpoints of black women?
I thought that quote was pretty damning. I would hardly count it as an example of honest criticism. Sotomayor is too long-winded to quote him throughout to make his points.
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But what’s so scary and frightening about this I used to belong to a large congregation where I used to worship and the pastor is just like Sotomayor. And hundreds of men and women attend every Sunday. This man who is supposed to be a man of God has the same mentality as Sotomayor. So the sickness and poison is rampant in the Black community even in so called houses of worship.
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And when white people would come to visit the church that man who is the pastor would bend over backwards to kiss the white visitors feet. He would straight up coon in front of these white people. He did everything accept tap dance and put on blackface. This is no lie.
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@ mary
How ya doin u real late today bahah. i’ll cut u some slack.
“Sotomayor and his filthy sewage spewing fecal matter from his fility orifice of a nasty toilet of a mouth.” that right there sums it up lol
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Mary your former paster sounds like he could be tommy’s father. what was he preaching about? pastor: “black women I got something to tell ya the lord just gave me a revelation* uumhum* Yall are the devil, the enemy to black men. U have been bad, the black man can do no wrong u are the issue. Look at eve she is sinful and bad she made adam eat that forbidden fruit”.black men in congregation: “preach pastor!! preach. YEs lawd!!.”Pastor: “well Now we gone have tithes and offerings.” smh.
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@ m. stoogood4yall: I just got in from work. How are you I am grubbing on a taco platter from my fave little tex-mex food joint. I am very satisfied and my stomach is very happy. We are not allowed to threaten with violence on here But Sotomayor is a huge Richard. And you know the name for Richard.
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hmm let me guess taco cabana?
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@ mstoogood4yall: Yes it was what you said only paraphrased. And they have men’s meetings on Friday nights to reinforce this brainwashing. Many marriages were broken up because some sisters just wasn’t having that craziness. He is a self hating black man. He admitted he hated his skin color growing up. And he always desired the light skinned women with the pretty hair but was rejected. He hates black women.
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@ ThatDeborahGirl and Goldfire
Sotomayor is a dark-skinned black male who probably has a dark-skinned mother — but if you asked him how he felt about his black momma, he would probably say:
“I love my black momma, it’s them other black Bs I can’t stand”
even when it is OBVIOUS that CANNOT TRUE, there is NO WAY a black male could love his BLACK MOMMA and spew so much filth about ALL black women
I bet even Tommy (boy) knows that a MAN who hates his mother is a man beyond contempt — which is why I doubt he would EVER admit that he hates her.
even in the TV show, The Sopranos, Tony Soprano (a true sociopath) could murder and rob people but could NOT tolerate the idea that he didn’t love his abusive mother
because he knew that SAYING or THINKING that he hated his mother reduced his self-respect to ZERO — and EVERY MALE on the planet knows this is TABOO.
which is why black males used to fight whenever someone said “Yo momma!”
but, sadly, that has changed as more males descend into a pit of self-hatred, and dysfunction and feelings of worthlessness — courtesy of the white supremacy system
So, I suspect that while big, bad Tommy boy talks bad about black females, he is really doing is revealing is own self-hatred AND contempt
He is too far gone to waste our contempt on since he’s already filled to the brim with self-contempt –and is only worthy of our collective PITY
because sooner or later the HARM we put out into the UNIVERSE will come back and CLAIM us when we least expect it.
All we need to do is sit back and wait.
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@ Ellis
Thank you, my brother, your post took the edge off and put a smile on my inside. Also, corny is the new “cool” 🙂
I have two blogs
theblackcodefiles.com
racismws.com
Hope you’ll check them out. I’m always down for dialoguing with brothers and sisters who want to support each other
there is a contact form on each site
(thanks, abagond, for letting me post this)
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dang mary that is awful. where in the world is this crazy “church” cult? wtf he admitted to hating his skin color, wow when in the heck does that come up on sunday. pastor: god is good and btw I hate my black skin…. moving right along lets bow our heads in prayer…. reminds me of that boondocks episode where uncle ruckus was a preacher slapping people and saying black be gone lol.
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=boondocks+uncle+ruckys+preacher&view=detail&mid=A42BD97A3B6A78CE1EF5A42BD97A3B6A78CE1EF5&first=0&FORM=NVPFVR
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@ Mstoogood4yall; He is just a sick man. And lots of people in the community I live in follow him. This is why we as black people can’t get well. In hindsight I believe it is a cult. I was talking to one of my friends and we were discussing this.
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It makes me sad that AA men are the only culture of men who disrespect and degrade their women.
This Tommy Sotomayor guy clearly has self hate issues putting down Black women. He doesn’t like himself at all and he was hurt by Black women as well. He is a sick, self hating, ugly Black sellout.
AA men could keep on disrespecting Black American women all they want but they will need us when their non Black spouses and girlfriends dump them or mistreat them. Don’t worry.
This is part of the reason why my mother, who is a Jamaican, only dates Caribbean Blacks like herself. She can’t relate to AA men and she doesn’t like the way AA men put down AA women.
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“Sotomayor should not be banned. If black women got him banned, it would make it seem like he was telling uncomfortable truths. Which is why I do not ban racists from my blog.”
Sotomayor’s youtube channels exist and flourish because black women are paying them mind. Stop going to his channel and paying him mind. He’ll disappear.
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It’s easy to go hard on Abagond with all the fury we feel for Tommy Sotomayor. Just remember that in the end, Abagond is someone who will actually listen, respond and change.
That being said, I’m hoping what Abagond originally meant by “honest criticism” is that he appreciates the man saying what he really feels (being honest) no matter what.
I suppose, Abagond, you feel that’s admirable, but to me, and I think Solesearch would agree, “honest criticism” is not merely someone speaking their mind. “Honest criticism” would be a criticism that is justly deserved by whoever or whatever is being criticized.” Later on you say that what he says isn’t an example of honest criticism in the way that I would define it.
You need to make up your mind what you mean by “honest criticism”.
Tommy Sotomayor misses the mark for “honest criticism” by a long shot by my definition. What he is doing is blatantly dishonest, shameful and just plain mean.
To quote my mother: He’s a lie and the truth ain’t in him.
To say that you believe his criticism is honest is to say that you personally believe some of what he says to be true and is deserved by black women. I honestly hope this is not the case.
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Sotomayer article:
–He says that black women tear down their men
–He gives a huge pass to white women. They are like how women should be. They are not as racist as black women imagine.
–He seems to be expressing his honest, thought-out opinions.
–He is not as bad as banned YouTuber SrgtWilliePete
BWE article:
–White men make better husbands than black men.
–Opening up to dating men outside your race is one thing, but if you have to put down men of your own race to do it, something is seriously wrong
–It is Sergeant Willie Pete all over again.
Of course, I compared the two articles of yours. In describing Sotomayer & BWE, they both sound offensive. Yet you say Sotomayer is “expressing his honest, thought-out opinions” & is “not as bad as SrgtWilliePete.” But the BWE is “Sergeant Willie Pete all over again.”
What is the difference? Is it only when black women are being critical of black men that it’s heinous? But black men have intelligent, honest & thought out opinions.
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Ah… Trojan Pam,
Coco Butter to my soul 🙂
My humble opinion about this dude is that he had taken out collective energy to spew our disdain (imo justified) at him and his “cause.” Well he’s gained more enemies and hopefully at least we can steer clear of his YT real estate and encourage other to do the same.
Now, I typically visit YT to take trips down memory lane through love songs–early rap and 90s R&B. Even some meditation music.
How many shows are there uplifting black women on YT? How many brothas are trying to publicly do right by black women? This is a serious question, maybe Abagond could investigate ;)Where is that list so we can show our love and support?
Why can’t we just smother this dude with black love?? Black folk need to purge ourselves of the need for conflict and drama. Trojan Pam has placed well documented reasons all over the net for this but then…what next?? We need to encourage each other to demand more stability and love for one another publicly. We just don’t have the privilege whites have to paint themselves in every possible loving light (with human and aliens and other off-world creatures) They explore every possible way to fall in love, stay in love, break up, have kids–they create themselves doing it ALL!
We have to get back to creating… We have to silence those voices of hate and despair, of psychological damage with voices of sanity and self support and LOVE.
Sotomayer knows he isn’t in an echo chamber–He knows that his misery has company and our hate fuels his rants.
So as I’ve said it in other posts–how many of us are willing to take advantage of the many ways we can shed more positive and public light on healing and loving, drowning the rest of the BS we give so much attention to?
We are the original creators.
We NEED to get back to creating.
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@ Mstoogood4yall
Who said, “Yep some do take their anger out on their sons especially if they look like the childs father that hurt them. Either that or they try to mold their son into what they want in a man and their son becomes a sonsband.”
Never heard of “sonsband” but it fits and sounds terrible 😦
Got to be blunt here, only a FOOL s**ts in his own nest and expects it to smell sweet.
In spite of all the “faults” that (some not all) black males love to post publicly about black females, how does this help or solve the problem?
what does Tommy boy and his supporters think they are accomplishing by doing this other than taking the focus off their own pitiful inadequacies?
in other words, what would a black male get out of supporting a Tommy Sotomayor that they do not get by supporting Justice Clarence Thomas?
just asking..
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So in response to the women in here who are upset that Abagond didn’t “take it to” Tommy Jerome Harris: Certainly you’re willing to denounce flat out misandrists like Deborah Cooper, or the more radical elements of feminism that go as far calling for androcyde. Certainly, you’ll denounce the talkshow culture of the 80s-90s, and early 00s in which every other episode was about sorry ass black men, and how black men are worthless, or closet cases, etc
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@ Trojan Pam,
I think it’s the comfort level…it’s the same reason white privilege has lived so long, even among different social classes. The news pushes the ideas as reality through their endless assessments of race and gender and class, conditioning us to automatically stand on the pedestal that carries more “social weight.”
It’s all about public perception and the subconscious digestion of what we actively take in, even by mistake.
Whether this man is getting money or the fact that he has so much attention is fueling his non sense, we know how many faces the monster in us can take.
We just follow the persona of the one that resembles us the most. It all ties in, imo.
Blind leading blind.
Lost leading the lost.
And of course, you know, at least it’s not coming from white ppl, so it must be the truth…![:/](https://s0.wp.com/wp-content/mu-plugins/wpcom-smileys/uneasy.svg)
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And I just realized I misspelled my own screen Name, fail on me. I’ll take the hit and laugh at myself
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@ SugarKiss
who said: “Why can’t we just smother this dude with black love?? Black folk need to purge ourselves of the need for conflict and drama.”
APPLAUSE
How powerful would that be? Black people either putting him on ignore OR lavishing “love” on Sotomayor and all the wrong headed entertainers who spread poison among an already struggling people.
People who feed on conflict and hate SHRIVEL UP when their hate is not returned or fed into
Your post shows how advanced your thinking is and I admit I’m not there yet — maybe I never will be but what you wrote is certainly something to think about
especially when this is EXACTLY what the white supremacists WANT us to do
bicker with each other and at the end of the day, no matter which side we’re on, we ALL LOSE because we haven’t solved a SINGLE PROBLEM but have wasted a TON of energy and time
In spite of all, I know the ONLY way black people in america will survive is coming together as much as possible despite our differences and learning to treat each other with RESPECT even when we don’t know how to LOVE
The handwriting is ON THE WALL, the way we play the next hand we’re dealt will be entirely up to us
(hope you’ll check out my blogs!)
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@ ThatDeborahGirl
By honest criticism I mean that he thinks he is HELPING black women, for the most part, by being brutally honest. If they get angry, well, that is because they are in denial. The whole trouble is, though, that his supposed home truths are mostly informed by white racism. His idealization of white women is the dead giveaway.
I do NOT agree with most of what he says.
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Abagond, you called Sotomayor’s stereotyping of black women honest criticism. That’s a white viewpoint of black people that the stereotypes they have about us are true or have some truth to them.
This entire post was you expressing how his racism and sexism isn’t that bad. That’s a white viewpoint.
And I say white because that’s how it’s characterized on this blog, but as we can see those are the tactics of oppressors period regardless of their race.
Lol. Seriously? Now you aren’t even trying.
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Abagond,
Why don’t white people get this honest criticism defense?
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You’re on your own Abagond.
I tried.
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@ trojanpam
“what would a black male get out of supporting a Tommy Sotomayor that they do not get by supporting Justice Clarence Thomas?” hmm they both sellouts imo, but i think tommy would’ve kept the vra and maybe try not to let black women vote lol. By those black men airing out the dirty laundry is crazy to me, they wouldn’t want black women to do the same. U see how they act when a black woman talks about her ex yet they don’t say anything about how white women like taylor swift make dam songs about all her exes. usher makes songs about his exes* applause* black woman talks about her abusive ex { why don’t she stfu and move on]. None of that solves the problem all u did was put it out there for other races to see and shake their head not just at black women but at black men too. Black people need to stop throwing each other under the bus nobody else does this. heck even when white people go on shooting sprees they don’t bad mouth the person they say oh he was a good person and was a good neighbor and i’m shocked. black person be ready to throw another under the bus for 15 seconds of fame or 3 pieces of silver. ALl that is not worth the backlash.if black women starting making vids about black men and saying they are thugs guess what the repercussions would be? black men getting killed by white people who think they look suspicious and their defense would be well black women even say they look suspicious so it must be true. which is the same reasoning they use when a white person gets caught using the n word well a rappers says it black kids say it so it should be ok. black men make vids about black women so whites make studies saying we are xyz and try to back it up with science and a lot of black men are silent. So im going to say this, a lot of black men act like whites, whites expect blacks to have sympathy when they go through something and have a storm destroy their neighborhood, but didn’t care about blacks in katrina or sandy. Black men expect black women to care when something happens to them but when something happens to us or someone says something about us they are silent. I will always defend the black men who defend me but i say fk the people who don’t care about us u do you and im going to do me.
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@ SugarKiss
In all honesty, after reading my last post, I had to keep it real
I don’t think I could smother Sotomayor with “love” but I could smother him with a pillow (just joking, kind of)
What I CAN do is NOT feed into it, and that might be as good as it gets for me.
Perhaps another way to “love” a Sotomayor type is to NOT focus on him but treat him like the CAR and not the DRIVER. He’s just a VEHICLE that has been PROGRAMMED by the white supremacy drivers
and instead of falling into the DIVIDE and CONQUER the BLACK MALE AND FEMALE TRAP
I would suggest focusing our attention on all the black males we know who are nothing like him. Most black males I know are NOTHING like this, despite any faults they may have.
To the ladies — try to think about the black males who have cared for you and (hopefully) have raised you, and helped you and the ones you admire
to the men — try to think about the black females who have cared for you, raised you, loved you and helped you and the ones you admire
It’s really our choice as to how we CHOOSE to SEE other black people and that doesn’t mean we have to like or love every black person,
but at least creating some emotional firewalls to keep us from falling into the Sotomayor trap of hating other black people and ultimately hating ourselves
Because, at the end of the day, do any of us really want to be like Tommy?
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@ sk and trojanpam
my comment in moderation ugh. Yes black love is important. i watch kemetprince 1 and true wise7 these brothas have beautiful spirts and speak so beautifully. we do need to ignore these lames and uplift the ones who uplift us. The negative people of our community are getting a lot of attention while the good ones get little attention or views. Its just like how the music is where the bad artists have hundred million views while the talented artists have thousands of views. We gravitate toward negativity and focus on it, that is why i avoid tommys channel and others.
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@ Solesearch
1. I told ThatDeborahGirl what I mean by “honest criticism”. See above.
2. NOWHERE in the post do I agree with most of what he says. Not even close.
3. Sotomayor does not believe in editing. He talks off the cuff for 13 to 20 minutes. He rambles, he rants. That is a very different format than what I do, which is minimalist and to the point, in 500 words. So lifting more than one or two quotes would not work.
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@ Temple
My double standard has already been pointed out to me. Please criticize the post as it currently stands.
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@ Solesearch
Because deep down most white people know the truth, they know they are being disingenuous. Sotomayor is a brainwashed fool for the most part.
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uh oh…Sista’s are goin in on Tommy.
Like i said, i don’t watch the kat on YouTube, so out of sight, out of mind.
@ : o O ) >
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I do not remember this as MANY of the daytime talk shows in the decades you mentioned were owned and controlled by whites and centered around white female issues with mostly white female audiences.
And as i recall–if you are in fact referring to the narrative of Black men and secret homosexual activity–that dialogue was in fact opened up by a Black man named James L. King in 2001.
If i have missed something then please point it out to me.
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@ Trojan Pam
Thanks!! 😀 😀 I will certainly do so.
I have learned on this journey of just “waking up”
And I’ll just touch on one or two relevant ones.
First, your subconscious mind works for you, on your behalf 100% of the time. It processes images, symbols, thoughts and feelings, nothing is lost. Whether 2 or 3 years ago I could communicate this into words is irrelevant, I understood the importance of TV and MUSIC and IMAGERY and MOVIE ROLES and celebrity all of the media trash that has settled on our digital airwaves and I saw what I consider a really Golden years of my life in the 90’s where black LOVE WAS EVERYWHERE and we able to (mostly) be with other black ppl with normal black families and messages of love and support and not be shunned or called reverse racist, etc.
Then the corporate takeover of those subconscious messages of black unity and were slowly replaced with integrated casts, magical Negros and Token blacks. And now? Ugh, you already know. But my point in saying this is even through the deliberate erasure of black faces on TV, I have made the conscious decision to create a reality for my family that does not include the poison that TV spews under the guise of multiculturalism and kumbaya.
I have kids. As a parent, my oldest, a teenage boy, has NOT been programmed to have an easy ear to these messages of misogyny in music and TV and I started BLOCKING these messages young at the age of 5. I DELETED this reality, I kept him (and my others) from it.
He is a very balanced, very well rounded child who is able to benefit and feed off of the BLACK LOVE and stability he sees through myself and his father. Just seeing LOVE IN ACTION teaches MORE than any white cpl on TV ever could.
“People who feed on conflict and hate SHRIVEL UP when their hate is not returned or fed into.”
I agree. Or they CRY OUT and BREAK DOWN when you tell them you love them and it will be ok. How many of out black boys are told that they should not be emotional, carING or lovING because that is not what men “do”?
Well they are BOYS and BOYS and GIRLS need love too! THIS is where our collective energy belongs! It is in mentoring and healing our selves with and for our children! As you said, we are all products of our environments and what we don’t realize is that we do not have to spoon fed our issues. We obviously have plenty 😀
We are creators and we need to CREATE the environment we say we are starving from. We have help. We are helpers.
But we must be responsible and steadfast and fearless. I just can’t think of a better weapon…
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@Trojan Pam
You said:
“I have seen black FEMALES standing up and STARTING ORGANIZATIONS to defend and protect black boys even while black girls are seldom given the same in return by black males
It is DISGUSTING, DISTASTEFUL, DISHONORABLE, and frankly, UNGRATEFUL for black males FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER to bash black females as a group when the DEBT OWED is so HUGE
and I suspect, that, too, is part of the reason for so much black female bashing by some (not all) black males
The secret SHAME at needing so much AND giving back SO LITTLE”
Your posts always have me thinking and leave me speechless..thank you again.
I must add, that I suspect that most of these black males who constantly, faithfully and gladly bash black women feel relieved that they for a change are not the ones being the butt of the jokes. This gives their bruised ego a false boost when they imagine, pretend and perceive the world as hating black women just as much as they the black men do. It justifies their hatred and contempt for the very black women that look like them. This is so deeply painful to see. In some way, they are able to dissassociate themselves from black women and do not see black women as being a part of them. Black women have gotten the message and are responding in kind. Sometimes, I just get on my knees and pray for our traumatized people.
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@TrojanPam
From your lips to Gods ears. If not via karma, perhaps through deliverance. And, as you well know, I second Ellis opinion. I really enjoy reading your posts. 🙂
Meanwhile, in line with celebrating the most manly of the human species, here’s
something for the ladies to feast on:
(http://youtu.be/XmmSZkMuXos)
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On some points, I do agree with both abagond and Tommy Sotomayor.
I was actually quit surprised when I viewed Sotomayors’s videos, as they weren’t quite what I expected them to be. While his rabid denouncement of Black women as unattractive beasties, bitches and whores is over the top, and says more about himself than it does the women he bashes, he, from what I’ve seen, tackles specific behaviors and mannerisms backs up these critiques with video evidence.
There was one video which, for me hit home, of a little girl who was pushed and pounced on by another girl for no apparent reason. Even older women who, theoretically, should have known better, encouraged the first little girl to pound and drag by the hair, the second little girl. And the biggest differences between the girls: skin complexion, hair texture and length. It was just awful.
I myself felt no personal offense due to the fact that nothing he said or pointed out hit home for me; I have never worn a weave; I do not have any children and I do not act out in public in the ways he showcases in his video clips.
I do however feel that he is extreme in his admonishment of Black / darker-skinned women for a situation they are affected by, but one which is not of their making.
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and here’s a message for Sotomayor, and his ilk, from some dark skinned sister’s; one of whom happens to be Kelly Rowland.
(and just to let you know, I’m not including you as one of his ilk abagond) 🙂
(http://youtu.be/6n5SqwERoOc)
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@Trojan Pam and Sondis
“What I CAN do is NOT feed into it, and that might be as good as it gets for me.
Perhaps another way to “love” a Sotomayor type is to NOT focus on him but treat him like the CAR and not the DRIVER. He’s just a VEHICLE that has been PROGRAMMED by the white supremacy drivers
and instead of falling into the DIVIDE and CONQUER the BLACK MALE AND FEMALE TRAP”
“Like i said, i don’t watch the kat on YouTube, so out of sight, out of mind.
@ : o O ) > ”
@ Trojan Pam
Exactly, that is all I’m saying. I don’t mean throwin’ flowers and singing songs, I just mean you show him the respect he shows you–and let that fool be.
I just want to say that as I was typing my long azz response, you were surely already getting the point of what I was saying in my previous post…which to me, shows synchronicity and growth. We just need to put our focus what we want our future to look like, even in the mist of chaos and confusion, perception is reality and we need to stop ingesting the poison and start creating things that are much more meaningful and fulfilling.
SK
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“My double standard has already been pointed out to me. Please criticize the
post as it stands.”
As it stands it needs to be edited to correct the double standard.
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@ Mstoogood4yall
who said: “The negative people of our community are getting a lot of attention while the good ones get little attention or views. Its just like how the music is where the bad artists have hundred million views while the talented artists have thousands of views. We gravitate toward negativity and focus on it, that is why i avoid tommys channel and others.”
Well said! Unfortunately, many people gravitate toward what is familiar and black people have been fed a STEADY DIET of negativity towards other black people all our lives — courtesy of the white supremacy system
I also avoid videos and movies that are DESIGNED to make me feel inferior or belittled.
The great (but frustrating) part is black people — especially BLACK FEMALES — could SHUT ALL THIS S DOWN. We are the MAIN ones who support black entertainers and bloggers and you-tubers
They would NOT make a DIME or get any attention if we SHUT THEM DOWN
they want us to think they don’t need us but in reality white people have NO INTEREST in TWISTED black people UNLESS they can get us to listen to or look at them. Young white kids would not give a D about black “gangsta” rappers if black people did not give them a COOL factor.
That’s why i do NOT support black entertainers — male OR female — who degrade black people for a living. I do NOT support black male entertainers who marry white– sorry, I don’t give a HOOT if that is fair, I’m taking a PAGE out of the white female FOLK’S handbook, and I guarantee you, white females MIGHT tolerate a few (like Robert Deniro) who only marry “black”
but IF Robert Deniro EVER degraded all white females in public or gave an interview about “why I don’t date WW”
his CAREER WOULD BE OVER
WE — meaning black females — are the MAIN SUPPORTERS of black male entertainers. We are the ONES who create black male SEX SYMBOLS, because while white females might fugg a black male or two they DO NOT MAKE BLACK MALES INTO TOM CRUISES OR GEORGE CLOONEYS
(Wake up, brothers)
If I wasn’t UP TO HERE with a ton of projects, I would start a PETITION advocating that black females (and those black males who support us)
STOP SUPPORTING BLACK COMEDIANS, BLACK ACTORS AND ACTRESSES, AND ALL BLACK ENTERTAINERS THAT MAKE THEIR MONEY DEGRADING BLACK PEOPLE
and (we could add) we’re going to SUPPORT those who date and marry other black people because white people would NOT tolerate the majority of white entertainers marrying anything but a white person
THEY WOULD NOT TOLERATE IT BECAUSE THEY KNOW THE DAMAGE IT DOES TO THE SELF-ESTEEM OF WHITE PEOPLE.
Our list would include “nappy hair” and “dark skin” jokes, pu**y and doo-doo and wee-wee jokes, and negative images of dark skinned black females VS positive images of light skinned black females and white females.
That list also includes making black males look like buffoons and clowns (Tyler Perry buffoonery sit-coms)
We can DEMAND that black film makers cast more dark skinned black females in romantic roles OR WE ARE NOT GOING TO RENT OR SEE THAT MOVIE because if WE don’t support them,
They are OUT OF BUSINESS.
It’s time to PLAY HARD BALL and if some blacks get thrown out of the game, that’s too bad.
WE CAN SHUT THIS MESS DOWN. WE HAVE THE POWER TO DESTROY THE POPULARITY OF THOSE THINGS THAT DEGRADE US
and if no one takes this ON, I might add it to my “to do” list and do it myself
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Also wanted to add
Nor do I support black female entertainers who marry white. Yes, it sounds extreme but extreme conditions call for extreme ACTIONS
I’m not saying we should throw rocks or bottles at anyone’s head
just TAKE OUR MONEY OUT OF THEIR POCKETS — which is OUR RIGHT
because the money they make off our collective bashing, most of it goes to WHITE PEOPLE anyway
you feel me?
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@ SugarKIss
who said, “We just need to put our focus what we want our future to look like, even in the mist of chaos and confusion, perception is reality and we need to stop ingesting the poison and start creating things that are much more meaningful and fulfilling.”
AGREED!
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Abagond, you give several personal statements about what you think Sotomayor is and what he believes based on nothing. His professed beliefs are in line with white racists but in this post you only offered hedging, weak criticism of Sotomayor as being brainwashed or suffering from internalized racism. Instead of focusing on criticizing his viewpoint and defending black women, you try to present him as a victim. He is bashing black women, but he is the victim. And that is how it usually goes. We protect and defend black men at the expense of black women.
Sotomayor’s internalized racism and brainwashing are about the same as Paula Deen’s southern upbringing.
His calling out white male racism amounts to Paula Deen’s helping black folks.
None of that stops him from being a misogynistic racist and it doesn’t turn his black woman bashing into honest criticism.
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True.
In fact, if asked who they find most attractive–they will say a white man. I have known plenty a white woman who dates Black men but have images of white men posted on her fb or pinterest page.
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“and if no one takes this ON, I might add it to my “to do” list and do it myself”
wow if u need help doing it im here. we need warriors to fight this bs time to rise up *fist in the air*
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@ Mariama
it is painful to see – and frightening
what kind of messages are our little black girls getting? If I was the father of a black girl I would be fighting tooth and NAIL for her DIGNITY.
but that’s me…
I fear for those black people who have no love for their own kind
I wrote a story in one of my books called “The Zebra and the Lions: A tale of Poisonous Individualism”
which basically was about a male zebra who thought he was superior to all other zebras, and thought female zebras were smelly and unattractive
so he goes wandering off by himself and unbeknownst to him, there was a pack of lions watching and waiting
for the sole zebra who separated himself from the PROTECTION of his herd
won’t give the ending but I think you can figure it out (smsh)
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@ phoebeprunelle
right, and I BET if you look at the walls of young white females you will see posters of white male stars
that’s why the white entertainment industry created black duplicates called “The Osmond Brothers” “The Beatles” and “Backstreet Boys” and “Justin Timberlake” and “Elvis Presley” and on and on
because at the end of the day WHITE FEMALES UPLIFT AND SUPPORT THEIR OWN WHITE MALES
even when they LAY in a black male’s BED
They will hire a white male OVER a black male EVERY SINGLE TIME
they will protest the killing of a white male while largely remaining SILENT when a black male is killed
how many white females married to black males are out on the protest line when a black male is murdered by police?
what will the nearly all-white female jury for Zimmerman’s trial decide?
and if they were capable of providing JUSTICE for black males why did the defense side go along with that jury?
see, the OBVIOUS ALLIES and NON-ALLIES of the black male are EVERYWHERE TO SEE
but many are BLIND because they take our support for GRANTED
but like it’s said, you NEVER MISS THE WATER UNTIL THE WELL RUNS DRY
i just hope that we will replenish our “wells” that were drained by 400 years of chattel slavery before the water runs out completely
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@ all
I do apologize for being long-winded – again — but I did want to respond to people who posted to me
I will now take a break and read the other posts. thank u
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I don’t have any fury for Sotomayor or Abagond. This is post is just full of excuses and downplaying that you wouldn’t see in any other post on a racist. I don’t get the double standard.
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@ trojan pam
“because the money they make off our collective bashing, most of it goes to WHITE PEOPLE anyway
you feel me?”
Yea i feel ya sistah, i don’t go to the movie theater to watch movies anymore. i wish there were more black businesses that way i wouldn’t need to shop for any of my stuff in their stores. but i buy what i can from our people. we are the only race who allows people to bash us from within our community and outside our community. Instead of clowning and cosigning with white people we need to stop that nonesense and be silent. If they ask what are your thoughts on this other black person don’t say anything. No other community i see degrades each other and calls each other names, yet they will be ready to compare their struggles to ours for their benefit. I notice when we embrace ourselves whites say its anti white when it is really anti white supremacy, but they don’t seem to understand the difference. SO when we get told we are being anti white i know we are doing something right. They don’t say its anti black when these lames be on youtube bashing our people, no because they are doing the work for them and they don’t have to get their hands dirty. We are only wrong when we uplift each other instead of degrading each other, when we praise each other instead of fighting with each other. there is crickets when we bash each other and call each other out of our names, but the moment we spread love to each other its you’re anti white’ you’re racist, what about everybody else? fk everybody else.
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@ trojan pam
You right again about they make a white version of a black artist. i wonder why they went so crazy over justin bieber even though there are black men like usher who when his age could outdance him and out sing him. Truth is they want a white version of black men so they can spend their money and lust after him. I see more white men getting into the music industry and getting a lot more attention than some more talented black artists. imo mac miller isn’t all that yet ppl hype him and justin timberfake up. They get around black people to get the black seal of approval. justin timberfake had timberland, justin bieber has usher. so while black men are making music degrading black women, white men are making music for their women. they don’t want black men to be seen as sexy,sensual, and romantic, that is why we don’t see that many black male rnb artists today but mostly rappers. goes back to jim crow days when black men and women weren’t allowed to kiss in public because it offended whites. Pretty much all the best love songs made were made by black men for black women, but that is all falling away. Now u got some good whites who can sing from the uk taking over genres of music blacks have dominated. black people need to get it together before we replaced and whites tell their lies and say oh no blacks didn’t invent this we did, when really they just took over.
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@ Mstoogood4yall
Absolutely. It’s the story of our collective black existence.
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@ Mstoogood4yall
I thought the same thing when I watched a TV show about Justin Timberfake (I like that!) and he had to learn how to “move” and “sing” from black males who are probably broke while Timberfake has become a household name
black people give away our talent and creativity all the time trying to “help” white people get “soul” who then PRETEND that they created the music and dance instead of black people.
I don’t know if black people “step” where you’re from but stepping is a HUGE deal among blacks in Chicago and now white people are easing on in, trying to learn about it and within a decade
they will be the CREATORS of “stepping” and call it something else, like Saturday Night Fever pretended that John Travolta could dance better than black people
(gimme a break)
Look at black music and how white people would win on American Idol imitating black people
that’s like me entering a Chinese cooking contest and I beat out the same Chinese people that taught me the recipes
Only in amerikkka!
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Ohhhh… too much truth!! My eyes!!!!
Seriously though, as a music lover, that mess is infuriating.
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@ mstoogood4yall and Trojan Pam: I thought Timberlake kind of threw Janet Jackson under the bus, in that wardrobe debacle.
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steppin isn’t big here at least not in this part of texas anyway. Blacks need to stop running to massa and saying look what i can do smh. I say don’t teach them any of our ways the way that asians and other groups keep things to themselves we need to start doing that. I don’t give my recipes away. Black people need to stop giving our talent to them. I still think there should be a black nba and sports leagues, when u think about it without black athletes sports wouldn’t be this big. But most of them are too distracted chasing money and women to create their own league, nope all they can do is hope they don’t get injured or get old. Then all they can do is hope that whites allow them to be on espn co hosting a sports talk show. Whereas if they had their own league they would be coaches and owners.
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@ mary
yes ma’am he did, i was young then and don’t remember much from that but i do know her career suffered while his flourished. ANd madonna funky @ss was talking about her. janet did not do that on purpose, yet these nasty white women like lindsay lohan and paris hilton have their dang cochie out and nobody says anything. Yet because a black womans ti@@ys pop out yall are like oh no the horror get her outta my sight and destroy her career. yall wasn’t saying nothing when black ti@@ys was nursing ur white babies.
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@mstoogood4yall: very true.
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@ mary burrell
absolutely, but I don’t even blame him, it was the WHITE media that convicted Janet Jackson, even though he had an equal role in the malfunction, they acted like he was the innocent, pure white boy being corrupted by the wicked black female tramp
that’s why it’s soooo important we NOT buy into that defective black female image because it becomes a JUSTIFICATION for RACISM
which includes EVERY SINGLE BLACK FEMALE who has EVER claimed that a white male raped her always winds up being a “liar”
from Tawana Bradley to Megan Williams to the black “stripper” who accused the rich white boys LaCrosse Team of raping her to the black hotel maid who accused the French politician
while black females are still being raped by white males but most are afraid to report it because they KNOW no one will believe them because a W*HORE cannot be raped
That’s another reason why it’s IMPORTANT that we DEFEND and PROTECT each other because one day that SOMEONE might be SOMEONE you love or that SOMEONE might be YOU
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@ Mstoogood4yall
I hear you all the way
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@ Solesearch (& Temple)
I think Paula Deen should go down in flames, but in the Paula Deen post I did not condemn her or say anything like that. Instead I laid out the facts and let them speak for themselves – including her White Southern Jim Crow background;
Or when I wrote about the Klan attack on the Freedom Riders in Anniston, I did not condemn them either – I just let the tape roll:
I wrote this post in much the same way.
The main difference is that you cannot imagine me siding with Paula Deen, or the Klan, but you are not so sure about Sotomayor. I think that is a bit unfair – while I do have issues with sexism, I hardly say the kind of stuff Tommy Sotomayor does.
The bit about white men was not in his defence, it was in contrast to his view of white women which immediately follows.
His “honest, thought-out opinions.” was to explain why I think he is not a troll, the topic of that paragraph. Given the confusion in the thread, though, “honest” was the wrong way to put it.
The paragraph on internalized racism and confirmation bias DOES need to be rewritten, but mainly because many people might not know what I mean.
And, given that several commenters think I side with Sotomayor – one has already left – I need to be plain about that since my approach of just hanging out the dirty laundry did not work.
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The white racists must be very happy/entertained looking at this crap!
This is the pearl what I got from Ms. Good’s recent post:
“…. black people need to get it together ….”
The thrust or most of this thread is about this same old tired never ending saga of how MOST black men don’t defend black women – round and round and round we go …. not getting it together. How can we get it together if we’re in this constant mode of WHO’s AT FAULT the most???
C’mon people. If none of what Sotomayor is saying was true, this wouldn’t be a thread with his name on it!
FACT:
WE’VE ALL GOT DEFICITS and SHORTCOMINGS.
Black men and back women, BOTH. Some more than others
.
As a people, we seem to be losing ground, not gaining – and there’s enough blame to go around on BOTH sides. PERIOD.
End of story.
If your man, brother, dad, friend, uncle, gramps, son, grandson, nephew ain’t doing right – – for black women who ARE doing right — please, take this directly to them.
All this stuff is just more noise that’s dividing and distracting us from the real issues at hand —
MOVING FORWARD
…as ONE united people.
If that’s possible??
(I’m DONE on this thread)
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@ Adeen
African American men are not the only ones who talk out such stupidity. I have see it in Asia. Devil wife is what a lot of Japanese men call their own or maguro (which is dead tuna) to describe certain bedroom acts and Japanese women. However, this idiot he opens his mouth so we can see his tonsils. What an idiot and black women everywhere should be happy they don’t have to be with him.
Either you are a mouse or a man and if he found out he was a mouse he is doing everything he can to puff up his chest. When comparing himself to black women he must have seen how much he didn’t measure up and now he is doing everything to knock them down. He is an idiot in so many ways, but the number one way he is ignorant is that he has picked an impossible task. Black Women have never fallen, they have held up the family in the most impossible times. A white woman is special if she takes up arms for her country in history but we already know that black women took up arms a plenty to defend their homelands. He can say the sun is green all he wants the sun is the sun and black women are strong and beautiful without a doubt.
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@ King Of Trouble; I am glad to see your comments, welcome back
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@ King of Trouble
who said: “African American men are not the only ones who talk out such stupidity. I have see it in Asia. Devil wife is what a lot of Japanese men call their own or maguro (which is dead tuna) to describe certain bedroom acts and Japanese women.”
——
I don’t know much about Japanese culture (except there seems to be a TON of white identification.
Question: do Japanese publicly bash Japanese females to non-Japanese people and media?
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That is interesting take. It kind of reminds me of the overweight spouse- you try to tell them to lose weight while they are enjoying a slice of double fudge cake. Or buy them an outfit two sizes to small *for motivation-wink,wink* it never works. They just get resentful and gain an extra 20 lbs just for spite. So maybe TS needs to change up if he truly wants to see a change in the black women he’s targeting.
Full disclosure: I haven’t watched any of his videos just going off what has been posted here.
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Correction:
Question: do Japanese males publicly bash Japanese females to non-Japanese people and media?
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Yes, they quite often do. Especially since it is the Japanese wife who takes control of the money the husband makes. She then gives him an allowance in which he can use. However, since most Japanese men work long hours they barely see their wives or children. One of slang words that use to be said about fathers was ATM, a sad commentary on how the kids saw their fathers. To most Japanese men it looks as if their wives are just hanging out with their friends as coffee, cake, or Tea houses and spending fortunes. They also us to go on vacations / holidays without their husbands to exotic countries. Hence the fetish for youth over there.
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@ Mary, it is good to be back. Even if the topic is this one. How I wish there weren’t people like Tommy. Yet, we do have everything in the mix good, bad, and tommy.
Plus I have followed your comments. Kept them up I thoroughly have enjoyed a lot of train of thought.
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@ King of Trouble
Not sure if your response was addressed to me.
My question was do the Japanese males post youtube videos or articles that will be read by NON-Japanese people bashing Japanese females?
Of course, all ethnic groups have inter-group issues but most don’t seem to air that laundry for the world to see
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@ Matari
“The thrust or most of this thread is about this same old tired never ending saga of how MOST black men don’t defend black women – round and round and round we go …. not getting it together. How can we get it together if we’re in this constant mode of WHO’s AT FAULT the most???
C’mon people. If none of what Sotomayor is saying was true, this wouldn’t be a thread with his name on it!
FACT:
WE’VE ALL GOT DEFICITS and SHORTCOMINGS.
Black men and back women, BOTH. Some more than others
.
As a people, we seem to be losing ground, not gaining – and there’s enough blame to go around on BOTH sides. PERIOD.”
There are many watering holes in the web where Blacks congregate to examine and bemoan racism. No problem—that if often necessary. But I know of very few places (if any) on where Blacks meet to try and deal with our OWN internal problems on a consistent basis.
Maybe I’m just missing these places and others will point me to where I can find them?
But if they do not exist, or if nobody knows much about them, then add another HUGE internal problem to the list.
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Abagond,
You didn’t hang out the dirty laundry. You sprayed it with febreeze and hung it up in the closet.
This is nothing like the Paula Deen post. For the Paula Deen post to match this one you would have to mention her southern upbringing, mention she hires black folks, maybe call her politically incorrect, honest, and charming, leave out all the quotes, delete any mention of the views and accusations of her accusers, you know, the actual victims. All the while illustrating her views with a few memorable examples from celebrity life or high profile cases. Maybe a picture of O.J. or that black boy who shot that baby in Georgia. You’d also need to mention how you don’t think she should be dropped by any of these corporations.
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“He [Tommy Sotomayar] says that black women tear down their men, like how Robin Givens is still bad-mouthing Mike Tyson 20 years later. White women do not do that, not even when their men screw up. Look at Tiger Woods’s wife.”
– – –
Did Tiger Woods bounce that blonde Swedish woman off the walls, because that’s exactly what I remember hearing that Mike Tyson did to Robin Givens. If someone was to do that sh-t to me, he could be bet his last dollar I would never let it let die down.
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@ Kwamla
who said: “If this had been a Black woman expressing similar prejudices at “dark skinned” Black men I doubt if she would have been seen as “honest and intelligent” or simply expressing “uncomfortable truths”.
—
absolutely agree
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@ matari
Rofl thanks for quoting one thing i said and if u read my earlier comments you’d have seen where i said blaming each other doesn’t work and we positive blacks need to come together . i don’t care what white people think or say, yes we as black people have issues and need to fix them i didn’t put it on full blast. Other people have issues and need to work on them as well. I did not say it in a disrespectful way i didn’t bash anybody. in my comment that u quoted i was stating how we need to get it together in the sense that we need to stop selling ourselves and our talents to whites.
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Peanut,
“and what’s with all the praise of light-skinned women, they age faster than dark-skinned women. this is coming from someone who people would consider to be lighter-skinned herself (or caramel) so i’m not hating, but let me just say that ti’s totally true that light-skinned women age faster than darker-skinned women…once you get past your mid thirties…ur skin declines rapidly…”
Now see, you don’t have to put down lighter women. That doesn’t add anything to the discussion or break any sort of cycle. And, that is not true. There are many lighter women who look very youthful. Halle, Stacey, Lena Horne looked young throughout, Rachel True. Tyra Banks. Sana Lathan. Ect. All this is counterproductive.
Tommy is wrong for his assessments of dark women, but you are wrong for yours too.
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Also, I thought you’ve identified all this time as a darker woman.
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Yeah, I never noticed lighter skinned Black women being so quickly ravaged by time either. It’s been more than a minute since I was a teen but I was quite often carded up until I stopped smoking 4 1/2 years ago.
I even noticed when I was very young an elderly cousin of mine had relatively smooth skin compared to the similarly aged white woman who was the waitress for our table, and who resembled a shar pei in the face. My cousin was very close to this pale skinned white waitress in complexion.
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Fiamma,
That is true! (Some) melanin protects from the sun, but even being light provides enough melanin. It is all individual based on genetics and mostly self care.
I hate to say this, but I think that is an age old tactic (clique) to put lighter women down. And that’s very wrong!
That is why we seem to be stuck where we are. Crabs in a barrel mentality. We have to find a way to get past the dark AND light skinned hate.
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The black woman haters (misogynoir) on the internet are the rotten fruit of seeds planted by D. P. Moynihan’s Report , Eldridge Cleaver’s book “Soul On Ice”, and Shahrizad Ali’s book. Dr. Ali’s book put flesh on the bones of Moynihan’s 78 page report.
The You Tube misogynoirs claimed their first victim in 2009. A 20 year black female college student was murdered in class by a SWP follower with his own YT channel. Anthony Powell (product of a two parent home) decided to put a bullet in Asia McGowen because she disagreed with his views on her YT channel. This murder is why YT hate speech against black females is censorable. These guys are all over Blog Talk Radio, Twitter, Facebook, Topix and Yahoo Answers.
________________________________________
According to the Justice Department 40% of sex trafficking victims in the U.S. are black females and 62% of sex trafficking suspects are black males. Are black males our new Massas?
Click to access Human_Trafficking_Final__2-11-12.pdf
______________________________________________
Blogtalk radio program about why misogynoirs exist:
”The question has to be asked. Looking at the verbally and emotionally abusive language and cruel words used both online and offline – coupled with reports all over the world of atrocities and assaults committed by black and brown men against their women, it’s pretty hard to say there is much in the way of love being demonstrated.
Why is it that the men black women want to love, want to be cared for by, want to have children with, and want to grow old with are seemingly focused on their annihilation?
Is this a situation where black women need to wake up and accept that there is a war going on and they are going to be on the losing end if they don’t start fighting back?”
By Deborah Copper
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askheartbeat/2013/07/01/do-black-men-hate-black-women
_______________________________________________
The Bonepicker88 challenges Sotomayor in almost every vlog post.
(http://www.youtube.com/user/BONEPICKER88/videos)
_______________________________________________
These guys mention the porno series Ghetto Gaggers because misogynists enjoy watching women being sexually humiliated by men.
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How young you look depends on a lot of factors; Genes, nutrition, hours of rest each night, hydration, exercise, stress, alcohol use, etc. As has been said, Lena Horne is one of the most classic cases of eternal youth, where Jasmine Guy is not. Both are light complected.
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That is true. People always point out Jasmine Guy, but forgets to acknowledge Lena Horne and the others. Lena truly had eternal youth! As does Cicley Tyson.
Ladies (Peanut), lets prove Tommy wrong!
No One Hates Black Women More Than Black Women
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBTJOukrRAY)
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Let me share my favorite video of his titled, “Black Women: Stop Giving Your Time To Undeserving Men! Pt 1”:
(http://youtu.be/v0kPQWn9_Ww)
I’ll take a gamble and state that I think EVERY woman here can agree on the message, even if they are not fond of the messenger because this is one video where he is not his boisterous self, little profanity and insults are used – great way to deliver a message if you want to criticize but uplift someone.
The first time I watched it, I think I cried or got misty eyed – I even got misty in a video where he claimed he stopped dating White women because he received flack for it, cause his tone and body language signaled to me maybe he let some woman get away cause other people felt offended by his choice, but that’s another topic!
Anyway, I need to hear this message, and this is advice that holds true for men of any race, ethnicity, religion, socioeconomic level – not just Black men as the video is titled.
I have a father in my life, and he is my biological father. I can walk to his house right now, we live in the same neighborhood. He was married to my mother back in the early 80’s and they came here together from the island of Barbados. I didn’t come into the picture until years later and much later my sibling.
My father had a child before he met my mom, and my mother had a child from a teen pregnancy. Early in the marriage, my father had an affair resulting in another older sibling, and all along no one knew he was a married man. But I have some awesome older siblings, my father never denied his children, we all know each other and are quite close.
I don’t know why mother stayed after the news came to light, maybe cause she didn’t have much family in the states, I don’t know. But she stayed married and I came to be later on.
Now, 1990’s, cause this is where my memory is fresh of course, I entered elementary school then. I can not recall ever seeing my parents kiss or hug, they never vacationed together, all they did was work. My father made more than my mother, but I mother as I recall struggled to keep the bills in order. We didn’t do much together as a family. He did take me places with him, I was the main one of his kids you’d see often, so people labeled me his “favorite.” But you’d think my mom was a single parent.
They were legally separated, he moved out and lived with ever woman he was dating. Years later my mother served the divorce papers cause she feared him being the way he was w/ bills and money might affect her since they were legally married.
My mother may have a few choice words regarding him, but when I once said I never wanted to speak to him again – she reminded me that he was my father and whatever he did to her had nothing to do with me.
So I can say my father is a ladies man (he is very jokey, flirty and sarcastic to this day) and cheap (still is, lol). I laugh at that cause I’ve finally accepted it and don’t feel as angry any more about his neglect, but I won’t forget it and the damage is done.
What did I get from my upbringing that affects my relationships now?
– I’m humble, I never had much, My parents didn’t lavish me with gifts. My dad didn’t buy me much and I don’t expect a man to. I’m a cheap person as well, so being broke and cheap pushes me to be creative.
– I’m passive-aggressive (as noted in the video above), my mother is not a “Rasputia from Norbit” type, and not a push-over either…there was no physical abuse but I do recall a time as a kid when my parents had an argument in the kitchen and they were holding glasses like they wanted to cut each other…*shrugs*
– I need to be validated. I didn’t get the whole sitcom, dad tucking-you-into-bed or advice about guys or my dad meeting dates w/ a shotgun, lol. He was not there. And adolescence when you have acne and not much curves to appeal to guys is not easy if you never be validated by the first man to play a major role in your life. Luckily I didn’t ho around as a teen.
As an adult, looking at my (lack of) love life for 2013 thus far, I have been too accepting. I accepted the “no job,” the staying in rather than going out (despite the fact that w/ my frugal creativity I find awesome FREE or cheap events), the being treated like a human blow-up doll, etc.
I pat myself on the back cause I figure I’m a good person and they’ll appreciate it. They let me know blatantly it’s not gonna go anywhere and I chose to believe they’ll “see the light” and I push like the little engine that could…only to get disappointed when they cut my track.
I think I’ll stop here, lol. Thanks if you made it to the end of my book. I have a comment about another video but I’ll post it later.
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I had never heard of this Tommy Sotomayor person until someone mentioned him on this blog. I was curious so I went to Youtube to watch some of his videos. I know that Black women (like every other human being on the planet.) are not perfect so I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and listen to his “honest criticism”. Maybe I missed something but all I heard was harsh, negative and abusive rantings and ravings from an obviously angry and wounded man. And I won’t even get started with all the foul language that poured forth from his lips. I have been known to let loose a curse word here or there to but he was ridiculous. I never really heard him say how we as Black women can clean up our acts. I’m a teacher and I have to undergo periodic evaluations from my vice principal. He comes to observe me and then gives me feedback on what I can do to improve. Constructive criticism is more beneficial than just calling people negative names and cursing them out. I’m just grateful that I have met some Black men who are truly decent human beings just trying to make it in this evil world. There are some Black men that I would go to the ends of the earth for. Tommy Sotomayor is not one of them.
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@Beautywoc and King
I believe Jasmine Guy has a chronic illness that contributes to her looks. I thought I either read or heard somewhere that she suffers from an autoimmune disease (lupus?). I’m glad that both of you pointed out that one can be lighter complected but still age well. As King pointed out one’s lifestyle habits play a huge role in how one ages. I believe that Black people in general (medium, light and dark complexions) tend to age well. Melanin…it’s a hell of a thing!
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“Black men are no more our allies than white men or white women are. We won’t get anywhere by lifting them up at our expense. Their salvation is not our salvation.”
True. And seeing as though we all have free speech I did a post on my blog on the Trayvon Martin fiasco and how it relates to black women and girls.
Feel free to give it a read. http://we-thrive.tumblr.com/post/54467388299/what-does-the-trayvon-martin-case-have-to-do-with-the
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@Temple much of what people claim is BWE is not Bwe at all.
For BWE posts see here:http://www.interracialdatingcoach.com/2013/03/what-is-bwe.html
I have to say regardless of who black women sex, date, marry,or have kids with you have to have self respect.There are MANY black women in relationships with black MEN who are white supremacists in black skin don’t end up with men like them.You would not let a white man pass on the hateful evil things that you let black men say and do to black women.It should be the same standard across the board.
I would never date marry or have kids by men who behave or think like
Abagond- Be sure to read this whole post where it talks about the Janitor to see why I put Abagond on the list http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2013/06/ladies-keep-heading-for-exits-out-of.html
Satan Force-for obvious reasons
DL Hughley
Kevin Hart
Steve Harvey
Jay-Z
Tyler Perry
Tracy Morgan
Deion Sanders
Nas
Stedman
Jim Jones
Ne-yo
Young Berg
and many others.I would not suggest any other black woman do that either.
I feel sorry for and am embarrassed for those who have.
People like Tommy Sotomayor need to be stopped because of the physical murder and abuse of African American women and girls that comes from black men and boys acting on his hate speech.None of this stops at speech.In fact I KNOW it does not. All this is leading to black women being physically abused and discriminated against more.It is leading for people to consider us open targets.It affects the quality of life for black women and girls.I could care less who black men sex date and marry.I actually prefer for MOST of them to do those things with other women but the harassment abuse and murder cannot be tolerated.When people like these go unchecked they harm and physically attack black women and girls just like Tommy Sotomayor did in REAL LIFE.
He is a person who has ACTED out his hatred for black women.He is no different at all from a NAZI.
“Active DBRBM kill BW and Black girls. Passive DBRBM get BW and Black girls killed.” -I put Abagond in the passive category.
Most of the black women who support Tommy’s HATRED of black women are “Special Snowflakes” not to be trusted
Another insightful post http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2013_02_01_archive.html
If you sat through ANY of TS rants there is no reason that you can’t read those posts.
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According to Satanforce:
“No it merely shifts blame and creates a vicious cycle – one that can only be solved through introspection.
Examples I have seen Black man is going to go steady to one of his babymothers. The other babymother, in last ditch effort, gets pregnant by him so that he will stay. He doesn’t she takes out her resentment on son who look like his daddy, then son will go on to beat women who look just like his momma.
The son could realize the other women are not like his mom but chooses to harden his heart – just like his momma.
Examples I have seen I am underachiever with a shit job. So instead of working hard and ignoring the haters, I game high achieving black women into having sex with me, who I then punish with vigorous anal sex. While they lay in bed curled up, sobbing softly into their pillows (I am too ashamed to show them where I live), I smirk to myself, feeling powerful, as I have taught another black bitch a ‘lesson’. I could, of course man up, and stop wasting time doing stuff like spending all day posting comments on blogs, but I have hardened my heart, and refuse to face my own internal problems.
That is the real problem.”
Satanforce creeps me out with his posts, but his point about introspection is poignant.
My biggest complaint about Youtube is that 95% (and that’s my estimation) of it is opinion, but presented as fact. The 5% that qualifies as fact are those channels dedicated to tutoring or educating interested individuals in math and science. I would think it to be very hard to dispute 2+2=4 and some random balanced stochiometric equation (I hope you get my point :)).
But the other 95% is opinion presented as fact, and painfully so. The Tommy Sotomayors of the Youtube world have undermined journalism with a horizontal version of it. By appearing on camera, and on a media outlet, his message is somehow validated to some people. Someone posted a comment about how he uses videos to prove his critiques. Therein itself lies the problem.
I can easily find a video to provide examples of a conspiracy, but is the proof peer reviewed? And I’m not talking about peer evaluated as in a bunch of people agreed with you in the comment section. What sources are cited? Are these verifiable, reputable, and peer reviewed sources or are they other blog/youtube sources from like minded people? Yet when I read the comment section of Sotomayor’s videos, the comments from proponents always say something like, “This is fact and these emotional *** can’t handle the truth.” Ironic, no?
What truth, other than an objective one, says that a group of women should die because they are evil or disgusting (even if he meant “some”, since the ‘he’s not talking to all, just some’, argument is always made)? That’s contradictory and illogical. So is the comment, “I love black women and want them to do better, so I campaign for Tommy.” Yes, by virtually supporting someone who sometimes wishes for an ethnically cleansed femicide. Gendercide of any kind is wrong, no?
He’s admitted to being no saint, but what about hypocrite? I remember watching the video, “Black men king of what castle?”. It was posted by someone else so forgive me if that is not the title. But he made the comment that a Black woman didn’t raise a Black man to be president, a White woman did. I agree. In fact, two White women raised him. But he didn’t mention(at least in the video I saw) that a White man also raised Obama, that man being his maternal grandfather. He didn’t mention that Obama’s father abandoned him, leaving his mother a single one. In this specific instance, why did he leave that out? He knows how to placate his supporters. Appease them with enough beast bashing, and then make a socially conscious statement to make his sentiments seem as if the jesting has a point (as your comment pointed out, Satanforce).
In the infamous video “Lighter women do look better,” he stated that light skinned women throw darker skinned women bones by telling them that they wish they were dark or that darker skin looks better. He compared it to the special olympics where the darker skinned women were “special” and that the lighter ones are basically winning. But then he states that dark girls call him racial epithets relating to his skin color when they get angry at him(irony again, no?), yet the lighter ones tell him his skin looks nice. Using his logic, aren’t the lighter girls just throwing him a bone too?
I write all of this here as opposed to his actual videos because him and his loyal followers bring me to tears. I remember someone mentioning sexual crimes against black females where black males are the perpetrator and one guy (with cosigners) said that black women are to blame for not protecting their children. Not only was I crying, I was sick. No vilifying the perpetrator.
With that said, I understand the boycotting of his brand, but I don’t know how effective that will be, given that, as one person stated, a lot of people tune in just for the “what will he say next” appeal, and then there are those who genuinely endorse what he says. Also, the lack of solidarity (and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing since every idea isn’t a feasible one) among women in this argument will do us in because as shown in these posts, an issue such as colorism might come up. Sigh….
This goes back to the original quote I’m responding to, a matter of introspection. This is my solution, as in what I’m going to do. Looking inside myself, I have trust issues with men. Men in general scare me. And introspection would tell me that there are “good” ones (good by whose standards, this could go on forever because its objective), but I don’t have good intuition and obviously taking someone’s word for it isn’t good enough. Rather than taint a good guy (again, the term good is extremely objective), I choose to remain alone. I won’t date, marry, have kids, or have any relationships with men outside of one of friendship. Not that it matters, in probabiIity (didn’t say ‘in fact’), I think TSotomayor would say farewell beast.
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My bad, change objective to subjective in one of those spots. Ehh, I’m learning.
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Wait, change all of the “objectives” to “subjective”. Again, sorry.
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I’ve been thinking about this for a bit. Abagond, you really let me down yesterday with your conclusion to this post and your subsequent comments. I thought you, of all men, would get it, especially considering your posts on racism.
But it seems you’re not capable of extending the fallacies of racism to cover, in your mind, the fallacies of misogyny. This is disappointing in the extreme.
I guess it’s a bit much to ask of a man, but the hurt I feel today won’t be going away anytime soon.
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“The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman, the most unprotected person in America is the Black woman, the most neglected person in America is the Black woman.”
— Malcolm X
Black racist misogynists like Tommy Sotomayor are severely damaged individuals. Their words and actions are a virus that bring nothing but pain and dysfunction to the Black race.
These people are the ones who degrade and disrespect their mother; the black woman while protecting and uplifting the white man’s mother.
I love this blog; I read every post but I’m disappointed by this one.
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I said I was done w/ this thread. I lied…
Ms Good: Thanks for the explanation. I just took what I liked from your post and used it..
Ms.$0.02
Your post coincides with my own family background – not exactly but very similar. Thanks for sharing that.
I pray you do get VALIDATED by a man who is willing to move mountains just to treat/love you the way you ought to be treated and loved. I watched 5 minutes of the Sotomayor video link you posted. There was nothing said during that time I could take issue with. In fact, I stopped watching before it was over because I found it SAD. Why? Because of the truthfulness of how sick and broken we collectively are, that there are people, us, that are in relationships that are very f’ed up – and stuck in them because we do not know how to think, or know how to think well enough of ourselves – that we deserve better. No woman should be paying a healthy man’s bills, rent, car note, child support and supporting him REGULARLY as he sits at home on his ass, doing jack!
A father is responsible for showing his daughter how any man who is interested in her is supposed to treat her. Too many women aren’t getting that memo because dads are coming up short. That’s sad – on so many levels.
*IF* I were your dad (or father figure) I would tell you that “no job” and “blow up doll” are NEVER, EVER acceptable arrangements. People treat you as you teach them to treat you – or show them the door!
Please find/wait for a GOOD man to come along! Don’t settle for less than ..
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@Jittery Junebug,
Couldn’t have said it any better myself…
The most telling part of a lot of the commentary by not just Sotomayor’s followers but by “messangers” like him as well–all seems to read like the same argument. Here is what i mean:
1. “Black women threw Black men under the bus in the 1990’s by going on national television saying ‘Black men ain’t s*** ‘ (when there is no extensive record or documentation for this)
2. “Society has allowed Black women to advanced more so than Black men” (again there are no real figures or numbers on this; unless of course one looks at the college enrollment of Black women and compare that to Black men. Black women may be only slightly outpacing Black men here, but as it stands, Black men still earn on average 70,000 a year or more than Black women with college degrees)
3. “Black women (especially darker toned) are trying desperately to imitate white women by wearing red lipstick, blue eyeshadow and other make-ups known as “war paint”. (i don’t even have an assessment for this absurd logic.)
4. “Black women prefer to chase/marry white men because there are countless examples on t.v. (typically they are referring to the show “Scandal” yet ignore that the U.S. Census reports that as of 2011, 95% of Black women who are married described there husbands as being Black)
5. “Black women are collaborating with white men in an effort to destroy Black manhood” (i guess see number 4)
6. “70% of Black women are unmarried and have children out of wedlock; 50% are infected with herpes” (Sigh…without a shadow of a doubt these numbers are over-inflated, suspicious and do not take into consideration the national figures. In fact, the CDC has yet to apologize for releasing those faulty figures. The 50% was passed off as the national figure for Black women, when in fact it only referred to a single community of Black women in Harlem that were receiving treatment for the disease at a public outpatient clinic in the city! And even all of them shouldn’t have been included in the figures as they were only carriers–but any doctor will tell you, we all carry HSV1 and will test positive for it if given a blood test (especially if you have had any form of varicella).
These are just a few of the rehashed, hybrid justifications as to why there is a need for Sotomayor’s narrative and other Black men like him and as you can clearly see–none of it is based on factual evidence, but manufactured and historical public perceptions of Black women to assassinate our character and to further alienate Black people from one another in addition to whites themselves.
What i suspect is going on is that many of the followers and commentators who co-sign are not aware of any social dynamics that affect Black men or Black women and need some form of validation–even if it is coming from someone (Sotomayor) who is not even serious about his message himself. Here is a quote from him:
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@ THE ALCHEMIST
Thanks for the information AND for providing a more SOMBER look at the dangers of the Sotomayors of the world AND why I feel that this kind of public sewage masquerading as “advice” and “intellectual food for thought” is one of the MOST DANGEROUS things black people could be doing in a (white) nation that is moving against us in every way imaginable.
I used to spend a good deal of time reading BlackPlanet and BlackVoices.com posts and was ASTOUNDED by the level of sheer HATRED being spewed by some black males AGAINST black females, at the point of being IRRATIONAL.
So i decided to compare the posts and threads created by black females with the ones created by black males
and came to the unfortunate conclusion that black males were functioning in an OFFENSE/ATTACK posture while black females were functioning in a SELF-DEFENSIVE posture
which was very similar to the way whites and blacks interacted on the internet, with whites in the ATTACK/OFFENSIVE mode and blacks were in the SELF-DEFENSE mode.
It seemed that the black females were DEFENDING THEMSELVES after being attacked. Black males were NOT DEFENDING THEMSELVES from attacks by white males and females but were ATTACKING black females.
I was stunned, angered and frightened because I couldn’t help but remember all the times as a young black female that I had been put in this position in real life — by both black male acquaintances AND by strangers who were taking out their fear and frustration on me.
I have been cursed at, threatened, hit, kicked, defamed, disrespected more times than I can count JUST for being black and female and being on a public street or riding public transportation. I’m not sharing this as a toe of WOE (oh, poor me) I’m making a POINT.
Due to the severe psychological MALFUNCTION of the black personality after 400 years of chattel slavery and 150 years of racist oppression that the MONSTROSITY that was created has become a distinctly anti-black AND anti-black-female PERSONALITY
A friend of mine had a blog on BlackPlanet, he is a very pro-black, counter-racist, protect-the-black-female and child at all costs blogger (crammasters) who got into this HUGE conflict with a black male poster who claimed to be “pro-black” but was actually very ANTI-BLACK-FEMALE and felt that black males should only talk to other black males to “solve” the problem of racism.
This poster, I’ll call him Mr. Z, became INFURIATED when crammasters posted a video by a black female who did a short film on black females being harassed in the street (which is very common in Chicago) and Crammasters added that rape against black females (which is at an EPIDEMIC level in Chicago) was something that should concern black males because these are our mothers, sisters, daughters, etc.
Mr. Z. (who lived in Chicago) went ballistic and said black females weren’t S anyway and didn’t deserve to be protected, and blah, blah, blah — and he started posting long posts on crammasters blog that were totally incomprehensible until crammasters had him blocked.
My point is this black male (Mr. Z) and Sotomayor are the MONSTROSITIES that Mr. Neely Fuller, Jr. talks about,. that white supremacy has created MONSTERS (white people) and MONSTROSITIES (black people) which = malformed personalities.
(I have a ton of Mr.Fuller sound clips on theblackcodefiles.com. If you haven’t listened to Mr. Fuller, you are missing out on a GREAT deal of clarity about the system of white supremacy)
(continued on next post)
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@Jittery Junebug don’t allow these ignorant hateful white supremacist negros to keep you from living a full life.You should get counseling and learn how to discern between good and bad people and all those in the grey as well.There are many resources for women who would like to move on and forward from damaged people and heal themselves.You should look into it. Be sure to go to someone who is knowledgeable about the things that go on amongst black people.
Side note:Anyone who is thinking Tommy sotomayors intentions are good is a fool.His intentions,like many other hateful white supremacist black males, are to socially isolate and annihilate black women and girls.
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and by annihilate I mean TS wants to MURDER the physical spiritual and mental bodies of black women and girls,.
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@ THE ALCHEMIST
(continued)
I was almost convinced by a few of the posts that I read on this blogpost that maybe this conversation was counter-productive but after reading YOUR post, I realized it was a HUGE MISTAKE NOT to talk about this
I agree that the blaming posture is not helpful BUT I believe that ALL things “in the dark, so to speak” should be BROUGHT TO LIGHT.
I believe EVERYTHING should be OPEN for examination and NO TOPIC — no matter how “offensive” should be overlooked. Black people collectively have already spent FAR too much time in denial and avoidance and now we are reaping a BITTER HARVEST by NOT doing what should have been done a long time ago
TELLING THE TRUTH SO WE CAN SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS
The Tommy Sotomayors of the black community aren’t interested in telling the truth. They aren’t interested in solving any problems. They’re not offering constructive criticism, what they’re doing is acting out their MONSTROSITY PERSONALITIES and ISSUES at the EXPENSE OF BLACK FEMALES
and while the white elites are creating a BLACK SCAPEGOAT SCENARIO by blaming all their crimes on black people and putting a black face on everything that angers white people (which is why President Obama was (S)ELECTED)
black males like Sotomayor are creating a BLACK FEMALE SCAPEGOAT SCENARIO by putting a BLACK FEMALE FACE on everything that angers black males — and in essence are GIVING BLACK MALES PERMISSION TO DEGRADE AND HARM AND KILL BLACK FEMALES
and the white supremacy system created this NEED via the gangsta rap, TV, movies, etc that shows a DEGRADED AND UGLY IMAGE of black females, in particular, the DARK-SKINNED BLACK FEMALE
and sadly, many black males — even those with dark-skinned mothers, daughters, sisters, etc
HAVE BOUGHT RIGHT INTO IT and instead of FOCUSING on the REAL PROBLEM: RACISM/WHITE SUPREMACY —
it is NOT black females that have eliminated black males from the workforce, or who have unjustly incarcerated them, or who have pumped 50 bullets into their unarmed bodies, or who have allowed the Zimmermans to murder black people and walk free.
YET some black males show MORE HATRED for black females than for the white people who are HARMING THEM
WORDS ARE POWERFUL, and white people have used them against black people successfully — and those WORDS affect whether we get that JOB or not, whether we get that LOAN or not, whether we go to JAIL or not, and whether a white policeman can TAKE OUR LIFE AND GET AWAY WITH IT or not.
Why would anyone think that black females LIVES are NOT BEING EQUALLY AFFECTED by these harsh, heartless and condemning WORDS from black males who are supposed to love and care for us? If we cannot count on black males to protect and defend us who are we supposed to turn to?
Thank you for your post. It brought to mind the SERIOUSNESS of the words of Sotomayor AND what a DANGEROUS ROAD black males and black females are traveling on
because even while I write this black people are being PURGED from american society, from the schools, the workplaces, even from PARTICIPATION in elections and society at general (due to the increasing number of black felons AKA “The New Jim Crow” — all while being BLAMED for the collapse of “American society” by the frustrated and frightened white masses.
For any black male (or female) who is IN a SINKING SHIP full of HOLES to spend ANY amount of time trying to drown another black person INSTEAD of asking them to help PLUG UP the holes so NO ONE WILL DROWN
that is the best evidence of a PERSON WHO HAS BECOME A DANGEROUS MONSTROSITY instead of a degraded person who is determined to RECLAIM THE HUMANITY AND HUMANNESS that was stolen from them. .
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@ ThatDeborahGirl, Solesearch, Temple, Adams, Vindicator, etc:
I rewrote the ending of the post. It is stronger, less confusing (I hope) and fits in better with this blog.
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Ok matari glad u understand now 😉
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@ $0.02
Really enjoyed your “book” . I can relate to not being a “daddy’s girl” and how that affected my self-esteem and the way I related to males in general.
Thanks for sharing
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‘Rather, Sotomayor is a male counterpart of BWE, the Black Women’s Empowerment movement. It is the same trope”
Oh, is that so? BWE members physically assault black men and tell other black women to do so as well? BWE members convince mentally ill black women to murder black men and then laugh and high five each other after the deed is done? I have heard BWE members say that their non black spouses protect them from harassment but I have never heard them say that they specifically target black men in public to harass or to do anything to. In fact many of the members of BWE view most black men as being either altogether useless or dangerous and simply tell black women and girls to get away from them and their supporters and start up their own industries and communities filled with quality people. Hell here is a post from a popular bwe author telling black women to not pay attention to dbr black men online and to spend their time making arrangements so that they can live well and be safe. http://sojournerspassport.com/the-first-national-tune-out-neutral-low-value-and-no-value-black-men-week/
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@ TheDeborahGirl and Probably Everyone Else
I am sorry for the pain my sexist stupidity caused. I hope I can learn from this debacle.
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@ Abagond: When you learn better you do better. This was a teaching moment.
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@ peanut that’s what i’m, wondering they doing the same with rihanna. They don’t like black women speaking up about abuse by some black men. It goes to the saying of what happens in this house stays in this house. They get on them because they are still talking about it years later, they expect it to be over with in months and to get over it. We don’t like to be told to get over slavery so why do they tell us to get over abuse? The main reason is because it doesn’t affect them so they think it don’t concern me so i don’t care.
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robin givens talks about mike tyson not all black men. when some black men have a situation where they were with a crazy black woman they blame us all. i say count ur blessings at least she isn’t bad mouthing all black man but just one in particular and mike proved she was right that he is crazy when he bit that mas ear off. i have no issue with people who talk about someone who they have issues with but don’t make broad generalizations about everybody that looks like that person that hurt you.
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mochasister
“@Beautywoc and King
I believe Jasmine Guy has a chronic illness that contributes to her looks. I thought I either read or heard somewhere that she suffers from an autoimmune disease (lupus?). I’m glad that both of you pointed out that one can be lighter complected but still age well. As King pointed out one’s lifestyle habits play a huge role in how one ages. I believe that Black people in general (medium, light and dark complexions) tend to age well. Melanin…it’s a hell of a thing!”
I completely agree! Even lighter people have a built in SPF of at least 15. But it is definitely lifestyle.
Peanut,
Yes, that was offensive and untrue. The thing that bothers me most is that it is a tactic. You’ve always identified as a darker woman. But, now to prove a point, you are now lighter. It seems that you made that disclaimer to give you more legitimacy to bash light women, under the guise of not hating because you are now “light” too.
When you start out a statement, “What’s with all this praise for light women?”, that is very telling. Then you proceed to bash with an untrue assessment. I don’t want women, especially the type that Tommy has issue with, to prove him right. But, he could probably do a video on your statement alone.
Also, when people bash dark women, the entire internet lights up. People venomously defend dark women. Rightfully so. But, it is light women who have things said about them that are not always defended because people think that there is privilege attached with them. As long as we are all black, we should support each other.
Again, light women have melanin. But it is really lifestyle AND attitude that determines youth, so. 🙂
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“Someone posted a comment about how he uses videos to prove his critiques. Therein itself lies the problem.”
– – –
What I actually wrote is as follows:
“While his rabid denouncement of Black women as unattractive beasties, bitches and whores is over the top, and says more about himself than it does the women he bashes, he, from what I’ve seen, tackles specific behaviors and mannerisms [and] backs up these critiques with video evidence.”
What I was referencing I was his critiques of BEHAVIORS …behaviors performed by individuals. What I wrote should not be taken to mean that I agree with his attributing these behaviors to all, many or most Black women. The behaviors belong to the individuals who act them out. Why should I feel personally attacked as a Black woman because Tommy Sotomayor has certain feeling about ‘twerking’ in inappropriate places and shows a clip of a woman twerking inside of a church? It’s not me twerking inside the church (or anywhere else for that matter).
Where he goes wrong is in slamming Black woman for the behavior of one person in a video clip. Also, he should just stick to assessing the behaviors shown and stop launching personal attacks on the individuals performing them.
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I’m not going to look through his thousands of videos (too much work and too much disenchantment), but Tommy has admitted on a few occasions to being a sexual abuse victim at the hands of a lower-class/”ghetto” black female
. His willingness to project his own experiences on all black women (never mind his tunnel vision perception of all black people as project-dwelling thugs and beeyotches) is what makes him abhorrent.
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You weren’t just praising dark women, but you bashed, basically slammed light women. I don’t like that either. You have to understand, bashing a to uplift b will never work. It just makes people like Tommy feel justified in their beliefs. Watch the video, “No one hates black women more than black women”.
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There are many videos where Black women are bashing black men too. Let’s be honest. It’s wrong on both ends though but let’s not make this a black man thing because I’ve come across many black women too who dog black men and strangely make white men out to be saviours!!
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i wasn’t going to say anything about the whole light skinned thing, but i feel i would be a hypocrite not to. I have no issue with light skinned women, i do have an issue with the media and people who uplift them over other shades of black. Some of the people in the civil rights movement were light skinned women such as rosa parks. I am a darker skinned sistah and do see the hate we deal with on tv and on youtube and other websites. But i also see some of the light skinned sistahs coming to our defense. I don’t know all that light skinned women go through from the outside looking in it appears they get uplifted and are seen as beauty and us dark skinned women as the beast. But i also see vids and things of lighter skinned people speaking about their issues of being told they are not black enough or that they are white. I don’t know what that feels like and would never want to be called white and reject by other blacks. I think its messed up that we are told we are acting white if we are educated and articulate and that people get told they look white because they are light skinned. We all deal with being told we are not good enough or that we are not black enough be it the way we dress, act, or our skin tone. Peanut this is not directed to u idk what is going on but usually u are different and comment alot. SO i hope all is well on your end.
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BWE adherents are bigots pure and simple. They always have been. They likely always will be. I don’t know Abagond that well but I know that he’s hardly damaged beyond repair in any aspect. I DO know The Janitor. Obviously I disagree with negative characterizations of him. I challenge anyone to find anything he’s ever written that is a negative generalization about black women.
http://www.theurbanpolitico.com/2013/05/whataboutourdaughterscom-does.html
Some people simply can’t tolerate dissent or disagreement which is why BWE sites tend to devolve into groupthink hives akin to Jonestown without Kool-Aid.
Just as there are black men who via self-hatred insult their black female counterparts there are black women who do the same. I think they deserve each other. BWE folks can dish it out but they can’t take it. There is very little that Sotomayor has said that hasn’t already been said by BWE…going the opposite way of course. Their hatred is free speech but his needs to be banned. Right….
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I rarely comment on issues like this because the level of maturity required is mostly lost on those making the most noise. It’s one thing to disagree, it’s another to personalize that disagreement and turn to ad hominems. Like Shady, I to challenge ANYONE to find anything where The Janitor said something negative about Black women.
Then after, once he realization of sets in that it doesn’t exist, I hope you can look to the real source of the issue. Once you realize that another perspective is just that, then growth can start. Until then, enjoy being miserable misrepresenting other folks and fighting back against straw-men.
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This is so sad.
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Unfortunately, as Abagond has forbidden me from describing black women as “bitches”, or referring to commenters as animals, I am unable to respond any of the black women’s comments. Nevertheless, even though don’t love these bitches, that doesn’t mean that I have love for Tommy either. Listen to this.
Long term relationship with these black she-beasts? He lives with it? What the fuck is this shit? Thankfully, only 1500 views, so no one is watching this shit.
Sweet Christ. How the hell does anyone believe this shit?
Now this is just some gay shit.
Its a good thing that he has buried these videos on his many channels, and has failed to organize them using one channel and many playlists. Next thing you know people start believing this shit.
Black men like myself have found out how to deal with black women. Right now, she’s just waking up, and I’m all out of lube! Bitch driving around in her Range Rover, working at a job that rightfully be mine. If this was 30 years ago, I would have had been her place, now the world is upside-down. This is black women’s fault, service based economy be damned. What needs to be done is for a system to be put in place that benefits black men economically. We can’t look into ourselves and find the answers, or any of that PhoebePrunelle crap trying to analyze Tommy. Studying , analysis, honest introspection and humility is not the answer. Sodomizing black women till they cry is.
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This kind of seems to me we are beating a dead horse. We keep going around and around. We all agree that Sotomayor is a miscreant and so are those with the same mentality as him. To borrow a metaphor this just seems a dog chasing his tail. And white racist are watching all this go down and laughing at us because we can’t seem to get our business together. All of this is just sad.
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hi ms mary how ya doing? what so sad?
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*like*
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Yeah mary it does seem that way *sigh* “We all agree that Sotomayor is a miscreant and so are those with the same mentality as him”
You know i like this better “Sotomayor and his filthy sewage spewing fecal matter from his fility orifice of a nasty toilet of a mouth.”
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@ FED_UP
And what was it you were looking to accomplish by insulting those individuals? I hope you were not looking to chastize others for something you just felt free to do.
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@Mstoogood4yall: It seems like a lot of confusion. It’s seems like we are being redundant. The light skin vs dark skin issues and the chasm between black males and black females. It just seem like we can’t get it together. It just makes me sad that we are not a cohesive group.
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wtf satanforce you one sick mofo rofl.
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@mstooood4yall: Yeah, that was good wasn’t it. I like that one too. I don’t know what is motivating Sotomayor to throw Black women under the bus. It’s probably for money. Maybe he is just a shock jock and is profiting off this sewage. That’s sad. It’s sad he has amassed a following.
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@ mary
yeah i know. its amazing how we focus on the little issues[colorism,weave,etc] instead of the bigger ones[white supremacy, creating black businesses,black schools closing etc] that contribute to the little issues. A lot ove arguing over superficial thins. I’m like this i don’t care what u have on your head, i care about what’s in your head. I don’t care about what skin tone you are i care about black people. If i’m going into battle i want trustworthy people standing beside me, regardless of hair texture,skin tone or income. If we on the same page which is dismantling the glass ceiling white supremacy creates, being pro black, and supporting black businesses i don’t care what you look like.
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@mstoogood4yall; You know you are none of these things and I know I am none of these things. We don’t have to entertain clowns like him and other clowns like them who are jerks. We know we are phenominal women like Maya Angelou says in her poem.
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ooh maya angelou is very wise and beautiful. you are right we are none of those things, we should try to ignore people like this. That is what i do with the trolls on here i ignore them and address other black folk. We as black women do need to uplift each other and leave the men and women alone who are white identified and sold out. Trojan pam is right that we should support each other and ignore the ones that don’t support us or are against our advancement.
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i say we should listen and follow positive brothas like this, although i’m not ready to hug the haters lol (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNgEjxXhUeA)
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@Abagond your apology and your willingness to admit your error in judgement and your desire to be better is appreciated.
In the current world that we live in there is nothing that Black women have said or have done to Black men that is comparable to the amount of damage that has been and can be done to Black women by Black men.
The majority of Black women that speak out against Black men have been speaking from a defense first/offense necessary position that is the result of decades of of abuse at the hands of Black men. Black women have the right to protect and save ourselves.
When thinking about the visceral hate that is directed toward Black women by Black men for choosing to divest from a system that hates on us the issue of social justice within the Black community has to be addressed.
The power structure in this society, one created through white supremacy, has provided the opportunity for Black men to do to Black women what white supremacy has allowed white people to do to Black people.
White people use derogatory words, blame, violence, fear, subjugation and oppression to control ALL aspects of Black peoples lives.
Black men committing those same horrendous acts against Black women should never be supported in it.
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@ mstoogood4yall; I co-sign with you.
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The discussion is great and the input from everyone is spot on.
@shady_grady
I agree with you in regards to both groups. I do wonder if BWE are as vicious as their men counterparts.
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@ Mary
It is really good to see you in these discussions. I always thought you were the quiet shy type. 🙂
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Mary
did u see the vid of Robert gill going 25mph on a treadmill its crazy what black people can do. We don’t need superheroes because we are super human lol.
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@ Sharina: I can go hard sometimes. It’s good to talk to you as well. Shy quiet type. LOL!
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@ Mstoogood4yall: No, who is Robert Gill? I will check it out. Meanwhile. My kinfolks are grilling me some good dead animals and I am going to get my eat on. LOL!
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http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=robert+gill+treadmill&view=detail&mid=24BF4030EFE89B1AC50324BF4030EFE89B1AC503&first=0&FORM=NVPFVR heres the vid. its a bird, its a plane….. no its a super fast black man lol. fk superman this is fact not fiction.
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Happy 4th of July to everyone. Even if you don’t care for the holiday. You can still do cool stuff like eat dead grilled stuff.
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@ Mstoogood4yall: That was crazy. That looks supernatural almost. Wow!
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@ Sharina: It’s something that doesn’t sit right with me about that BWE business. IDK. It seems like they are being used by the white supremacy movement to divide Black people. It sounds like a divide and conquer tactic by the white supremacy movement. I could be wrong. If they want to date other races that’s fine, but don’t malign Black men. That seems wrong to me.
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@Peanut, BeautyWOC,
This comment is a good example of GASLIGHTING. Attack a group of women and do not come to their defense. When they finally speak up to defend them selves they are accused of bashing their attackers and those who benefit from their dehumanization (lighter skinned women). Their attackers can now claim that these women have brought the negative perception of dark skinned women on themselves. Dark skinned women are now held responsible for any abuse they experience. Male privilege, light skinned privilege and misogynoir allow others to feel justified in emotionally abusing and gaslighting darker skinned women.
________________________________
Colorism and Psycho-Linguistics 101:
Dark skinned black people are called names like cockroach, tar, asphalt, midnight, gorilla, etc. They are called inanimate objects. These words are NOT used descriptively. Lighter skinned people are called names in a descriptive fashion: piss colored, yella gal, light bright. When a light skinned person is called a descriptive name it is hurtful. When a darker skinned person is called an inanimate object it is hurtful and DEHUMANIZING. Darker skinned blacks endure a type of name calling and verbal assault that is of a different CALIBER than then hurtful name calling lighter skinned people endure.Darker skinned people must constantly reassert their HUMANITY. Lighter skinned women’s hurtful experiences are buffered by light skinned privilege, the higher premium placed on them in the relationship marketplace, and higher visibility (in a positive way) in the media landscape. A lighter skinned black woman’s HUMANITY and right to exist and walk the earth is never challenged by the black community.
BeautyWOC please STOP GASLIGHTING Peanut.
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@Trojanpam, You are bound to find it somewhere maybe on 2channel or Mixi, maybe even on Youtube but you have to know Japanese. I’ve only come across my students calling out the jerks. I have never been interested in idiots dissing women. English being such a wide spread language we get to see more of it in your face.
One of the complaints some of my Japanese female students had was how wimpy videos like that were. The internet as one of my students put it gives weak men like that courage so they can find their otaku companions in droves.
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I agree and have been thinking the samething. To put down black men the way they do is to put down the black men that gave them life. Same with the groups that put down black women. Can they look the black parent in the eye knowing that they said those nasty things. Can they say they love their parents while saying that to other blacks?
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Wonder how much the increase in court-enforced child support over the last fifteen years has to do with the acrimony between some black males and females?
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@Sharina
Okay… you got me. I shouldn’t have said their lives were “miserable.” So please allow me to restate: Until then, enjoy misrepresenting other folks and fighting back against straw-men.
Is that better?
However, to your inquiry, about what I was looking to accomplish (and to my larger point)…No, I’m simply asking anyone to show where the Janitor, the same person who wrote posts about females like:
http://www.theurbanpolitico.com/2010/04/10-reasons-why-sister-named-ann-claire.html
http://www.theurbanpolitico.com/2009/09/serena-williams-channels-her-inner.html
http://www.theurbanpolitico.com/2012/08/gabby-douglas-olympic-history-and.html#more
http://www.theurbanpolitico.com/2013/01/obama-and-white-male-power-structure.html
http://www.theurbanpolitico.com/2012/10/by-way-binders-full-of-women-is.html#more
[Janitor] Is somehow a chauvinist who hates black women then I’d like to see their reasoning. The only thing you’d find is a post where he disagreed on perspective… and if the post is examined, folks would see where the REAL issues lies.
That’s all. I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on that, if you have any. If not, no worries.
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@ Truth P.
If I may, you seem to be overlooking a huge glaring inconsistency. This Sotomayor character said, and I quote:
“The majority of black women are pure evil”
But then in the very next breath you cast aspersions about me based on an article written by Muslim Bushido where she says, and I quote:
“I generally don’t read anything written by African-American (AA) males. Because the vast majority of AA males are useless, conquered slaves who aren’t doing anything of any real value.”
WHAT???? How can you justify what Muslim Bushido said yet take issue with what Sotomayor said. That is the definition of hypocrisy.
Abagond was correct; they (people like Sotomayor and people like Muslim Bushido) are both equally as destructive to the Black Community. There’s no positivity in saying that the majority of Black men or the majority of Black women are evil/useless. What kind of crap is that?
The truth of the matter is, Sotomayor and Muslim Bushido were both wrong.
For the record, as Shady Grady and Fed UP have accurately pointed out, I actually love Black women. Contrary to Muslim Bushido’s flawed logic, I do not hate all Black women simply because I disagreed with the admin at whataboutourdaughters.com. That’s a ridiculous argument that I shouldn’t even have to acknowledge. If I disagreed with the admin of that blog then I simply disagreed with her. Period. Full stop. To say — as Muslim Bushido did — that I somehow hate all Black women because I disagreed with one Black woman is illogical on levels that I can’t even comprehend.
You do yourself a disservice to cite to such articles as actually having the ability to provide any persuasive authority on this subject.
Let’s do better, folks.
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@TrojanPam
Book #1
The Rape of the Mind: The Psychology of Thought Control, Menticide, and Brainwashing by Joost A. M. Meerloo
“SINCE 1933, when a completely drugged and trial-conditioned human wreck confessed to having started the Reichstag fire in Berlin, Dr. Joost A. M. Meerloo has studied the methods by which systematic mental pressure brings people to abject submission, and by which totalitarians imprint their subjective “truth” on their victims’ minds. The first two and one-half years of World War II, Dr. Meerloo spent under the pressure of Nazi-occupied Holland, witnessing at firsthand the Nazi methods of mental torture .on more than one occasion. During this time he was able to use his psychiatric and psychoanalytic knowledge to treat some of the victims. Then, after personal experiences with enforced interrogation, he escaped from a Nazi prison and certain death to England, where he was able, as Chief of the Psychological Department of the Netherlands Forces, to observe and study coercive methods officially. In this capacity he had to investigate not only traitors and collaborators, but also those members of the Resistance who had gone through the utmost of mental pressure. It was Dr. Meerloo WHO COINED the word menticide, the killing of the spirit, for this peculiar crime. And in The Rape of the Mind he goes far beyond the direct military implications of mental torture to describing how our own culture unobtrusively shows symptoms of pressurizing people’s minds. He presents a systematic analysis of the methods of brainwashing and mental torture and coercion, and shows how totalitarian strategy, with its use of mass psychology, leads to systematized “rape of the mind.” He describes the new age of cold war with its mental terror, verbocracy, and semantic fog, the use of fear as a tool of mass submission and the problem of treason and loyalty, so loaded with dangerous confusion. The Rape of the Mind is written for the interested layman, not only for experts and scientists. Contents: Part One: The Techniques of Individual Submission. 1. You Too Would Confess. 2. Pavlov’s Students as Circus Tamers. 3. Medication into Submission. 4. Why Do They Yield? The Psychodynamics of False Confession. Part Two: The Techniques of Mass Submission. 5. The Cold War against the Mind. 6. Totalitaria and its Dictatorship. 7. The Intrusion by Totalitarian Thinking. 8. Trial by Trial. 9. Fear as a Tool of Terror. Part Three: Unobtrusive Coercion. 10. The Child is Father to the Man. 11. Mental Contagion and Mass Delusion. 12. Technology Invades Our Minds. 13. Intrusion by the Administrative Mind. 14. The Turncoat in Each of Us. Part Four: In Search of Defenses. 15. Training Against Mental Torture. 16. Education for Discipline or Higher Morale. 17. From Old to New Courage. 18. Freedom — Our Mental Backbone”
The heavy use of strong weed by black men has helped make their minds “flexible” to absorb the messages from repetitive listening to and viewing of hip hop music and You Tube videos. This carves the messages that black women and girls are hoes and b*tches into their minds like the grooves in a phonograph record.
_________________________________
Book #2
Getting Played: African America Girls, Urban Inequality, and Gendered Violence by Jody Miller
“Miller gives us a detailed examination of the violence experienced by Black inner city girls whose victimization is based on multiple dimensions of their lives: because they are Black, because they live in extremely disadvantaged neighborhoods, and because they are women. Miller’s careful, rich, detailed field work documents and analyzes the complex realities of these young women’s lives that set the context for the struggles they routinely contend with. The voices of these young people have been ignored for too long. Getting Played has given them an opportunity to be heard that is long overdue.”
-Robert Crutchfield,University of Washington
________________________________
Book #3
Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis.
by Eric Berne
“Forty years ago, Games People Play revolutionized our understanding of what really goes on during our most basic social interactions. More than five million copies later, Dr. Eric Berne’s classic is as astonishing–and revealing–as it was on the day it was first published.
We play games all the time–sexual games, marital games, power games with our bosses, and competitive games with our friends. Detailing status contests like “Martini” (I know a better way), to lethal couples combat like “If It Weren’t For You” and “Uproar,” to flirtation favorites like “The Stocking Game” and “Let’s You and Him Fight,” Dr. Berne exposes the secret ploys and unconscious maneuvers that rule our intimate lives.
Explosive when it first appeared, Games People Play is now widely recognized as the most original and influential popular psychology book of our time. It’s as powerful and eye-opening as ever.”
_________________________________
Book #4
Whispers of Betrayal: Black Women in Crisis by Jefferey McGill
“Whispers of Betrayal Black Women in Crisis presents many thoughts that black women think but are reluctant to speak.Black people are an enigma to other races in society. Why can’t Blacks get their act together and vanquish their legacy of dependency on other races. Black women have had to carry the weight of her race hoping that Black men will eventually display the strength she has had to summon to sustain herself, her children and the dignity and respect of Black people when it is obvious that Black men have lost the will to fight the good fight. Black men are deserting Black women for women of other races.In doing so, Black men surrenders their ethnicity, pride and will to triumph over the evils embedded in corruption and vice of the new world order.”
Each on of these four books has been very helpful.
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@ trojan pam
maybe child support has a little to do with it, as i do hear men complaining about it and being mad at black women about it. That is minor compared to how they are always going on about how black women don’t do xyz and we don’t listen. That is what i mostly hear, the child support thing i see mostly comes up when they break up or divorce. whereas the other things are present before, during, and after the relationship. I think the major problem between black women and black men is…COMMUNICATION. lets break this word down the word commun means to To be in a state of intimate, heightened sensitivity and receptivity, So to be able to communicate you need intimacy, you need to receive and be sensitive to what the other person is saying to you. It seems intimacy and sensitivity is what is lacking, and without those two things there is no effective communication. I either see people shouting at ,each other or not understanding what was said and attacking someone because of what they THOUGHT they said. On the internet its real easy to take someone’s words as negative when they were really just being sarcastic or satire.
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@Mstoogood4yall; You are such a bright mature young woman. I hope you find your soulmate to compliment you.
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@ mary
aw thanks 😉 i hope u do as well if u haven’t already.
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” I do wonder if BWE are as vicious as their men counterparts.”
You don’t have to wonder do a quick google search on BWE members who call for black men to be killed.Do a search on BWE members who have had black men and boys killed or raped and then celebrated it.The most that these women have ever said is that black men collectively are not interested in the issues that affect black women and girls nor is the black community.The black community seeks to protect defend and uplift it’s sacred cow Black men while using black women and girls for their time and other resources and to divest and develop mutually beneficial relationships with quality people in general.
The so called hatred that BWE members spew is nothing compared to a black man trying to socially isolate and annihilate black women and girls who seek refuge away from a community filled with people that hate them and view them as disposable.They do these things on all levels.My advice to any black woman is to be suspicious of black men as you are of white people.It is them going around telling non black people that black women are trash and deserve to be treated as such.It is them intending to sway non black men from dating and marrying black women even as they proclaim to the world that they don’t even want us.That’s HATRED.
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@Matari
“Because of the truthfulness of how sick and broken we collectively are, that there are people, us, that are in relationships that are very f’ed up – and stuck in them because we do not know how to think, or know how to think well enough of ourselves – that we deserve better.”
“A father is responsible for showing his daughter how any man who is interested in her is supposed to treat her. Too many women aren’t getting that memo because dads are coming up short. That’s sad – on so many levels.”
“People treat you as you teach them to treat you – or show them the door!”
Thank you! =D
@TrojanPam
“I was stunned, angered and frightened because I couldn’t help but remember all the times as a young black female that I had been put in this position in real life — by both black male acquaintances AND by strangers who were taking out their fear and frustration on me.
I have been cursed at, threatened, hit, kicked, defamed, disrespected more times than I can count JUST for being black and female and being on a public street or riding public transportation. I’m not sharing this as a toe of WOE (oh, poor me) I’m making a POINT.”
I have had several guys disregard my personal space, I feel emotionally raped because I am powerless in such situtions. To argue with them only creates a few good lol’s for their homeboys and to paraphrase the saying,”never argue with a fool, cause from afar people can’t tell which is which,”no one is going to side with me. And in each incident, for me, each one was a dark-skin Black male who came at me in that manner. YET, I never took to Youtube like Sotomayor and made videos targeting dark-skin Blacks of the opposite gender. I never claimed a majority of dark-skin Black males are creeps. And lucky for me, my male relatives that are dark-skin don’t act as foolishly, they may not be saints or have a perfect personal life, some of them, but they are not acting a fool on the streets, committing crime or beating women.
All I can do is shake my head.
I feel sorry for the dark-skin Black men who ARE respectful enough not to touch a fellow female on the street innappropriately. To take it further, I feel sorry cause all the a**holes who happen to be the same complexion help justify the stereotype of Black men – specifically dark-skin, cause darker skin men and women are feared and repulsed by more – as sex-driven, thugs and barbaric.
The innocent Black men are gathered up and thrown in jail by the system or killed off by the jealousy and lack of ambition by their fellow Black men or even bitter Black women.
——
“Black males like Sotomayor are creating a BLACK FEMALE SCAPEGOAT SCENARIO by putting a BLACK FEMALE FACE on everything that angers black males — and in essence are GIVING BLACK MALES PERMISSION TO DEGRADE AND HARM AND KILL BLACK FEMALES
and the white supremacy system created this NEED via the gangsta rap, TV, movies, etc that shows a DEGRADED AND UGLY IMAGE of black females, in particular, the DARK-SKINNED BLACK FEMALE
and sadly, many black males — even those with dark-skinned mothers, daughters, sisters, etc
HAVE BOUGHT RIGHT INTO IT and instead of FOCUSING on the REAL PROBLEM: RACISM/WHITE SUPREMACY —
it is NOT black females that have eliminated black males from the workforce, or who have unjustly incarcerated them, or who have pumped 50 bullets into their unarmed bodies, or who have allowed the Zimmermans to murder black people and walk free.
YET some black males show MORE HATRED for black females than for the white people who are HARMING THEM”
This sexism that is occurring is hurting Black people as a whole, providing an obstacle in strengthening our communities.
But now that I look at it, sexism probably was around before racism. We as women are an afterthought. Look at religion, christianity says God made us AFTER man, yet WE have the womb to carry one. We helped create sin. Islam wants us to cover up like we are the problem for a man who clearly needs to learn self-control.
Each race places great pride in their sons.
It’s bad enough that as a whole we face racism, then we as women face sexism.
@Mstoogood4yall
“Its amazing how we focus on the little issues[colorism,weave,etc] instead of the bigger ones[white supremacy, creating black businesses,black schools closing etc] that contribute to the little issues. A lot ove arguing over superficial thins. I’m like this i don’t care what u have on your head, i care about what’s in your head. I don’t care about what skin tone you are i care about black people. If i’m going into battle i want trustworthy people standing beside me, regardless of hair texture,skin tone or income. If we on the same page which is dismantling the glass ceiling white supremacy creates, being pro black, and supporting black businesses i don’t care what you look like.”
Racism is bad for Blacks. Sexism is bad for Black women. Then we have colorism…
Which Sotomayor implies works for Black men. Dark-skin men are masculine, mandingos, “soldiers” and light-skin men are pretty, lover boys that make babies with “good hair,” lol.
I am a dark-skin woman. I do like to hear support for dark-skin women due to the history oppression we faced.
I recall in a Sotomayor video, him saying dark-skin women like when they are praised but it’s a problem when light-skin women are praised, even when some light-skin when come to the defense of dark-skin women.
Interesting observation, never thought of that before.
But at the end of the day, people can tell me how they “love chocolate” and “dark-skin sistas,” I could give two rats’ behinds, lol. Why?
What matters is ME – the individual. Is a person into me and not checking for ALL the sistas or whatever person tickles their fancy?
The hair issue, the “hair hat hooligans,” lol, smh…sigh. That’s me in my avatar, that’s my natural hair – no relaxer, but not hair color, it did have some dye – but I don’t look like that at this moment. I dabble with wigs. Got one in every length and color but no I don’t walk around looking like an extra from the film “BAPS” or a Nicki Minaj stunt double. The one I wear now is ombre, mostly blond and straight.
It’s not “some white girl’s hair,” one – Indian women’s hair is used for straight or wavy human hair, let’s give credit where it’s due cause not all White people are Rapunzel, two – my wig is synthetic, lol.
To have to actually feel GUILT when I want to wear something that is not my natural hair, to be accused of trying to be White (like they have some monopoly on straight, wavy or blond hair, smh), to believe people of other races think Black women are bald, that we are “nappy-headed” or as Latinos say “malo pelo” (Sotomayor is Latin as well), that I’m militant if I wear my hair as is with no styling or product…seriously?
Years ago I told a friend, our main problem as Blacks is our hair, cause we are the majority with kinky hair – it sets us apart from everyone else. There are Indian people and aboriginals darker than me and they face racism like Blacks and will get called the N-word like one, so skin color is not the big problem. But many of them have wavy hair. And “Jew fro” is nothing like my fro. That’s a whole new topic.
But you are right, if you’re Black, you’re Black. Let’s find a solution instead of nitpicking about the superficial like chicks at a high school lunch room table. All it does is gas up other races and give them more reasons to pity us as a whole. These youtube Black gender war rants are ridiculous, other races don’t care to respect us when we barely care to respect each other.
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Misstoogood..
Thank you for acknowledging that lighter women do stick up for darker women. I see it all of the time. We should support each other in sisterhood, regardless of hue.
Peanut,
You are not light. You made the rude comment toward light women, which excludes you from the criticism. And please don’t dismiss my feelings by telling me to “get over it”. You rant and rave about things and no one tells you that. See the hypocrisy?
Whoever is bashed more, it doesn’t even the score by bashing someone else. You may feel better for doing so, but what does it really accomplish? I could easily lash out of blondes because they are universally revered, but why? I judge each person individually rather than putting everyone all in the same box. Isn’t that how you want people to judge dark/black women?
As long as someones words, comment and/or actions hurt or offend someone else, it is not unfair to speak out on their behalf, regardless of how they are perceived by others.
If you really want things to change, then be the change. Don’t become like the very people that you despise. Don’t give Tommy any more material.
And yes, I have spoken out for darker women. I would just like the same in return.
Thanks for the apology. Moving on!
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@ my $0.02
I think your hair looks great in that pic. I don’t think there is anything wrong with wearing wigs some wear it has a protective style. The issue i have is when women say they NEED a wig, weave, or, relaxer to feel feminine. Our hair is unique, different from everybody else, i think that is a good thing. Yes its hard dealing with the stares and things but we are different from everybody because we are special. I’m transitioning to natural right now, after a couple years of a relaxer because my aunt put it in my hair and said i NEED something in my hair. That is what i’m against, is putting relaxer in young girls hair, or telling people they need their hair done a certain way for it to be acceptable. I say forget it, if i have to conform to be accepted by you, you might as well just go on somewhere else because i’m not changing.
@ peanut
Yes i notice they make movies showing unattractive, overweight, neck rolling, dark skinned women, while the light skinned women play roles where they are beautiful, sexy,etc. The messed up thing is they even have black men dressing up as black women and portraying those stereotypes. I don’t see black women dressing up as men and portraying stereotypes about them. This is why i don’t waste my money at the movie theater, because these people clown for money. They are the new slaves, shucking and jiving for some money and a pat on the head from white folks. Most of black hollywood is like that, only the older ones in hollywood aren’t as messed up but even some of them clown sometimes.
as for as the black male privilege some will deny it, but it exists. Its the same way a man can sleep with different women and be the man while if a woman did the same, she’s called a h0. Black men have people protesting, signing petitions, and marching, when something happens to them. But when its dark skinned black women not much of a peep from anybody. I read about a case where a black girl was shot by her white supremacists neighbor and he said he was cleaning his gun and it went off, nothing happened, the family reached out to al sharpton *crickets*. For a black man killed al is permed, washed, and rollerset and ready for the camera. These same people wonder why some black women left and joined the feminist movement, duh if a woman isn’t being satisfied she goes elsewhere. what u don’t do somebody else will. But no we need our own organization where there is no sexism, racism, or colorism, but justice, love, and ,solidarity.
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No peanut there is no light skinned rasputia or big momma, at the same time black women need to stop watching this mess vote with our dollar. Some are still asleep and see no harm in it, i admit i used to watch madea, but now i don’t since i’ve started to awaken. The funny thing to me is how some black men will say black women emasculate them when they emasculate themselves by doing drag for a laugh and a quick buck. They feminizing themselves, just go to youtube and most of the black males with top views either dress in drag or are gay. Black people are not united that is why whites can get away with casting people who are lighter than the character described in the books. I remember that acura commercial and the casting people asked for a light skinned friendly man to play the car salesman, now if black people were united no black person would’ve auditioned for that role. But we gotta eat so there will always be a black person willing to accept a role that they shouldn’t have. THis is why black businesses are important, if we controlled that we wouldn’t have as many blacks shucking and jivin to whites for a job. BLack actresses have to choose between their dignity and money all the time, most rarely find a way to satisfy both so they gotta choose. They got bills and mouths to feed, so we know which choice they have to eventually make.
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Satanforce:
“Its a good thing that he has buried these videos on his many channels, and has failed to organize them using one channel and many playlists. Next thing you know people start believing this shit.
Black men like myself have found out how to deal with black women. Right now, she’s just waking up, and I’m all out of lube! Bitch driving around in her Range Rover, working at a job that rightfully be mine. If this was 30 years ago, I would have had been her place, now the world is upside-down. This is black women’s fault, service based economy be damned. What needs to be done is for a system to be put in place that benefits black men economically. We can’t look into ourselves and find the answers, or any of that PhoebePrunelle crap trying to analyze Tommy. Studying , analysis, honest introspection and humility is not the answer. Sodomizing black women till they cry is.”
How facetiously macabre of you.
Honestly, after reading the comments under this blog post, the comments under accompanying TSotomayor videos, and the comments under any post/video that attempts to diagnose the Black community, I don’t think (this is strictly opinion) Black people can have an effective conversation about Black relationships or the state of Black people living in the U.S.
Why? Look at the comments. How did an analysis of TSototmayor’s videos turn into an exchange about colorism and who ages better? This is one of the many deviations I see whenever there is a conversation about Black relationships and the Black community. I understand how it is an issue, but honestly, in trying to get Black women to unite, how does an exchange about who ages better aid anything? Also, I’ve noticed that whenever a conversation about Black men in relationships with non-Black women comes up, some Black women and an even smaller number of Black male commentors will make the argument that Black women look better and age better than their non-Black female counterparts so it makes no sense for Black males to date non-Black females. And then of course those who disagree with the latter. I always hate that rebuttal because aren’t we trying to move away from being objectified and seen for only our aesthetic value? I’m not saying that I don’t find those videos painful, because I do. But I find the responses just as painful. I’ve noticed this about Black males too in some of these conversations. They will point out the perceived superior physical aesthetics of black men that make them extremely appealing to all women and therefore they don’t have to restrict their dating pool to Black women, if at all. Again, as with the Black women, isn’t the goal to be with someone who genuinely shares an interest in you?
Another reason why I don’t think we can have an effective conversation about Black relationships because the same ‘the problem is not being able to discipline your kids -insert anecdote about neighbors and teachers whipping you-‘, ‘white supremacist invisible chokehold’, ‘feminist movement tainted you’, ‘you spoil the wrong -insert gender-‘, ‘non-black -insert gender- is better at -insert grocery list-‘, ‘you’re brainwashed’, ‘why can’t you see my pain, even though I proclaim to see yours’ tit-for-tat diatribe. Example, the comments under the Black Boys Rock pt. 1 video of TSotomayor’s. The number one comment is (and this paraphrased) that Black women can’t express humility. Does anyone watch football and/or basketball?
When we talk about Black relationships, Black men will focus on the failures of Black women and Black women will focus on the failures of Black men. Tit for tat again, lacking honest introspection. When we talk about Black female relationship statistics, we also have to talk about Black male relationship statistics. Both Black females and males have about the same “will never marry” statistic, at about 42-44%. So when I see the juxtaposition of Black males in suits discussing “Why most Black women are single” (Of course I’m talking about on Youtube) and they don’t touch on this fact, and many proclaimed good black men cosign, I can’t help but sigh. I also think, that even though this is a Black issue, it’s really not. Based on what I’ve read and seen, men in general are disenchanted with the idea of relationships and marriage. Relationships in the U.S. seem toxic, so what exactly is fostering that? I do not know. The exchanges between Black people on Youtube and boards like this become tension-filled and a lot of times vocal/written shouting matches. But this isn’t exclusive to Black issues. Look at the political climate. I’m from Illinois and one of the most anticipated races was that between Tammy Duckworth and Joe Walsh. If anyone saw these debates, they would see how far from respectful intellectual discourse American society has moved. Also, the idea that certain movements and “entitlements” have facilitated the rift between Black women and men is not a sentiment exclusive to Black people.
I would also like to make this point. While I don’t understand why some of us can’t stand being around each other, I think our failures and are grossly exaggerated. While I know some, maybe a lot of you, think that integration was the worst thing to happen, I respectfully disagree. It’s difficult to say integration was the worst thing to happen, but then turn around and use statistics that support the idea that Black women are getting post secondary degrees and higher paying jobs, when more likely than not, these things are happening in a mostly White/lessly (not a word, noted) Black setting. Also, for those that say Black women focus on this too much, can’t scrutinize this as a weakness in black women but applaud it in Black men. (Congrats to both). Back to my point, I would make the argument, that while the statistics don’t make us “model minority” material, they do align with generational progress. A generation is approximately 25 years, and integration (Brown v Board) is about 60 years old. Progress is often seen generations later, not
seconds later. I just think it’s not as bleak as it’s often made out to be.
I would like genuine support for both Black women and men. The absence of Black women in conversations about social racism is abhorrent. I went to the rallies for the Jena 6 and Trayvon Martin. I went to an open forum about the Henry Louis Gates incident and listened to a collective engagement about stereotypes against black men. I’ve attended open forums about the school-prison pipeline that sets black males up for failure. I’ve signed countless petitions and attended open forums condemning Mayor Bloomberg’s ‘stop and frisk’. Even though I don’t live in NYC, these ideas eventually get swept into the conversations of other major cities like the one I live in. I signed petitions to get prosecutors to take a second look at the Troy Davis case. I went to open forums about the social implications of the Troy Davis case. Hell, I wrote a letter to Obama. But when it comes to cases like that of Rekia Boyd, I have to go on almost underground blogs to even know about it. I’m especially ashamed because I live in the same city as Rekia Boyd did. There was this story (and I wanna smack myself for forgetting the website) where these two black women had been incarcerated for I think two decades for stealing a pack of cigarettes or something trivial like that. And I think it was in the South. The moderators of the sight were urging people to call the state legislator and spread the word about them because I think one of them was extremely ill, near death. This conversation needs to be extended to include Black women. But when it’s passively dismissed as “well it doesn’t happen as often as it does to black men”, it makes my heart ache. There have been two incidences in my city where a black girl was gang raped, one of the girls being handicapped. I’ve read stories about this happening in Texas too. Jesse and Al came to the rescue of the Black women in the Duke and NYC case (I can’t remember her name but she said the police gang raped her), even though the cases were dismissed. Why are they absent now? Are they worried about putting their name on the line again for a potential liar or is it because these cases involve black perpetrators and not white ones? In general in American culture, we ask, well what did you do? What did you wear? Why were you out that time of day? So it’s not surprising that these stories don’t become as popular, but where is the support? Because at the end of the day, a man is still a man. (-Insert ‘not all, just some’ blanket statement-).
This is why I’m choosing the solution that I am. To Satanforce’s “We can’t look into ourselves and find the answers, or any of that PhoebePrunelle crap trying to analyze Tommy. Studying , analysis, honest introspection and humility is not the answer. Sodomizing black women till they cry is”, I think I get what you are doing. I really do. Studying, analysis, honest introspection and humility is the answer. It always is. But the fact that black humor (how ironic, right?) such as “sodomizing black women till they cry is” is used to make perhaps the most viable solution to this ‘gender war’, is why I’m choosing a life of solitude.
I will say apologies to Abagond, in becoming an unintended target of many of the frustrations of some of the women. Nothing against the women either, I get it. But this blind spot compared to the other insightful pieces I’ve read on here isn’t punishable by character assassination, in my opinion.
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Yes throwing dark skinned women under the bus is a contradiction, how can people say black is beautiful without the black? wtf madness i tell u. same thing with the whole pretty for a dark skinned girl really? without dark skinned girls there would be no other races or shades of black. SO for people to hate on that they hate themselves and especially where they come from. as i imagine having a dark skinned mother would put a damper on ones aspiration to be white or white identified. ITs a shame to see hair magazines and hair products like carols daughter have all their spokesperson be light skinned mixed women when they started off with darker black women as their base. I have no issue with having light or mixed people but don’t forget who was ur loyal customers. i wihs they have light skinned, brown skinned, and dark skinned represented equally in hair magazines, movies,etc. i think every girl deserves to see women that look like her in magazines and movies that way she thinks wow i can do that too. When we mostly have white women and mixed women to see in these things a lot of us strive to be that way. and little girls think what is wrong with me why don’t i look like that, i need to look like that to achieve their success. I just want them to know they don’t have to which is why they need people like them representing. when dark skinned girls see tv they see overweight, unattractive, attitude having women, when they see movies they see light skinned and white women being loved by handsome men, when they see hair magazines they see mixed women with curly wavy hair, they turn on the radio and its people rapping about light skinned women and dogging dark skinned women. THis is why i encourage people to turn that mess off and read books, because books have dark skinned female characters in all their glory, beauty and class. ITs a shame that the only form of positive entertainment for dark skinned girls is if they read a book and get a positive message about someone that looks like them. But that is the way it is……for now.
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Good night peanut and all, I’ll be back on sunday night, because i’m going to Louisiana tomorrow to visit family. recharge and get away from all this does the body good lol so have a good weekend *hugs& kisses*
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Thanks peanut ok im really done after this ;). yeah carols daughter had solange but she left them, now they still have cassie and selita. here’s an article on it http://www.whataboutourdaughters.com/waod/2011/5/4/carols-daughter-hates-black-women-why-no-self-respecting-bla.html
its a shame they don’t have darker skinned black women representing, like one commenter said “I can only hope (that with this backlash) she at least favors other hues and shades of us in her ads. I get that these three ladies are spokespersons (even the one with only a half a head of hair *side-eye to that*)”
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I use bee mine hair products they work great for me they are having a 4th of july sale til the 6th 20%off with the coupon code Bee4th, i placed another order with them, ok goodnight lol
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@ THE ALCHEMIST
Thanks for the book list, will check it out
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Peanut,
You are on some sort of mission with an agenda. I refuse to be anyone’s scapegoat. Good luck with that. End of discussion.
$0.02. Your post makes a lot of sense and gives some understanding to your experience. We all have issue to deal with, it is about trying to understand the others experiences.
“I recall in a Sotomayor video, him saying dark-skin women like when they are praised but it’s a problem when light-skin women are praised, even when some light-skin when come to the defense of dark-skin women.
Interesting observation, never thought of that before.”
I see plenty of light women coming to the defense of and praising dark women. But it is not always reciprocated. The point is, I don’t care how light a black person is, none of us are white. Whites have real privilege and power. Meanwhile, we are still stuck putting each other down with petty, high school comments. Getting nowhere. There are colorism issues with Indians, Asians and Latinos. But none of those groups are as divisive, competitive or mean spirited as us.
This is depressing. Good luck to everyone!
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[…] Tommy Sotomayor […]
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@Abgond, @Peanut
You might want to be careful about watching too many of Sotomayor/misogynoirist YT videos. Your innate biases as a black male make your mind welcoming to the contempt, hatred, and dehumanization of black women that he pedals.
Sexual assault, childhood rape, domestic violence, colorism are key issues for black women. These issues are not just gendered but very racial. Addressing these issues would require looking critically at black male privilege. Most black males cannot conceive of themselves as victims AND victimizers. After suffering for hundreds of years, many black males can see no suffering except their own. No matter what happens they are ALWAYS THE ONLY victims. The black male collective relates to black women and others in a very narcissistic way. Past and present injustices justify their right to functions outside of any sort of just ethical/moral framework. In other words, they have given themselves a “Black Male Victimhood Pass”. This pass allows the bearer the right to rape, murder, sexually/financially exploit, menace, degrade and emotionally neglect black women and black children who do not play-their-positions or if the bearer (BMV) is bored. They are blinded by their own anger at not receiving the full patriarchal goody bag at birth. The blood in the streets that belongs to their mothers, sisters, and daughters goes unnoticed. Perhaps the blood has been there for so long its existence no longer registers as unusual by black males and many black females.
Lundy Bancroft describes the con games and tricks used by emotionally abuse man in detail in his book “Why Does He Do That?”
_____________________
The late poet Pat Parker:
Brother
I don’t want to hear
about
how my real enemy
is the system
I’m no genius,
but I do know
the system
you hit me with
is called
a fist.
_______________________
“What do you do with men of color who menace women of color in a world where people of color are oppressed.”
—-Religious Scholar Maryviolet C. Burns
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@BeautyWOC @Peanut
Please stop gaslighting Peanut and drowning this comment thread in high yellow tears. You insist on manufacturing your own victimization by Peanut and trying to place your “struggle” at the center of the narrative; Sotomayor’s demonization of black women especially dark skinned women. God forbid dark skinned women get the mic.
You are entitled to rant and rave in this comment thread without the fear of being called a stereotype that will confirm Sotomayor’s biases. With this knowledge of your light skin privilege acting as a shield you attack attack and attack Peanut. Daring her to respond forcefully least she be the angry ghetto hood rat and prove Sotomayor right about dark skinned women.This gaslighting of Peanut by you and is a skin tone racist act. BeautyWOC you are a practitioner of skin tone racism. Darker skinned women will defend ourselves and bucks and bucks of entitled high yellow tears won’t fill our lungs and silence us.
I’m not Peanut
Expect no apologies.
Your game has been peeped.
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@Beautywoc:
“And yes, I have spoken out for darker women. I would just like the same in return.”
I think when darker women return the sentiment, it’s seen as a statement of self-hate. If a darker man says, “I think light skinned women are beautiful,” and ends the sentence there, there’s this collective side-eye. Even if he doesn’t say that’s his preference or “more beautiful,” it’s taken as a proclamation of self-hate because I think a lot of us are used to hearing black men we come in contact with express a preference for lighter skinned women (whether its through his words or actions).
So when someone like me, who is as dark as night, expresses how gorgeous I think Lauren London is (seriously, I would give one of my ovaries just to have her dimples), it’s interpreted as self-hate because I am the antithesis of her. I think the same would happen if a lighter girl would say the same thing about London, and not have a follow up statement like “but all Black girls, regardless of skin tone are beautiful.”
But when I express how gorgeous I think Gabrielle Union is (at 40 she’s killing it, at 23 I’m still acneing it), the side-eye doesn’t happen because although I am the antithesis of her too, we do share a dark skin tone.
I think this mainly stems from always having to qualify are blackness. Female and male. Light and dark. Whether its the situation described above, or when academically serious Black males get chided for being “nerds”. Even when it’s an innocent joke, I have seen the Black dudes I went to school with internalize this and act hyper-masculine because of it. Or when Black girls, light and dark, sound like “Becky”. (Ya know, when every sentence ends like a question?) Or when Black people choose not to got to predominately Black colleges (getting that white man’s education, or so I’ve heard). I hope explained this good enough.
But yeah.This is just what I think.
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@phoebeprunelle
Great commentary and analysis. I didn’t know that about the CDC and Harlem case. I knew those numbers were skewed, most likely due to an outlier case, but I didn’t know the source. Thank you so much for sharing that. I seriously have to go on a research hunt right now.
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“we’ll never get over anything, until people acknowledge their privilege. until black men acknowledge their privilege for being male and until light-skinned black women acknowlede their privilege”
@Peanut exactly what will this solve?Do you really think that black men don’t know this already?Why haven’t you accepted that black men view themselves as being competition with black women?Why are you worried about togetherness so much?
I have no fear about African Americans going “extinct” in America.I believe this fear is what is stopping many black American women from having a better quality of life.Why is it so hard to bear the thought of African Americans not existing anymore? Why do so many African American women have this fear and not black men? You should consider yourself blessed really.There have been other groups who have had self hating men sell them out and the women went out in a really bad way.At least as African American women we can do many things to have a good quality of life in spite of the fate of African American people as a group.I’m very thankful for that.We could be slaves.
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To my great lack of surprise the women are reacting emotionally. IMO,Sotomayor is simply the voice of a BM frustrated by BW due to the prevailing genderscape. He’s attacking the TENDENCIES of many BW the masculinised behaviour , hoism and selfcenteredness and the skewed laws that encourage these pathologies.
Also this new woman friendly socio-legal sphere is of course obviously misandrous while it must always be remembered that BW have more testerone than WW or AW. Of course they will be more aggressive due to their blood chemistry and the new cultural memes that encourages such public displays of ‘strength.’
“… and is written in their blood chemistry. Its not smaller waists,bigger asses and plumper lips but in the causes of these physiological differences-testosterone.”
http://karanjazplace.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-difference-between-black-white.html
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Got any real medical sources on that one…?
I’ll wait patiently…
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@ Peanut
Do I have blind spots caused by my sexism? Yes. Was this a screwed-up post? Yes. Should I learn more about Black Women Studies? Yes. But do I think black women are too ugly to rape or look like monkeys? No way! If I said anything like that it was in talking about white views, certainly not mine. Please do not put words in my mouth.
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@ kay
Can you say ignorant? Just because a blog is written about it does not make it true. Just makes you the dumb azz to believe it and not challenge it. What challenge do you have for the fact that not all black women mimic the pictures or behaviors that blog describe? What medical reference indicates black women have more testosterone? Does thst mean this applies to white women shaped like these black women?
As for tommy…..how can his response account for all black women? Seeing as he or people like him have not met all.
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@kay: You are a huge RICHARD.
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First of all to say that black women don’t bash black men and also bsah white males is complete bullcrap. I read a number of blogs by black women that claim to be about empowering women of color yet are very biased towards black males and very rarely criticize white men. Case in point all the stupid white males on late night tv would constantly bash Whitney Houston for her drug use yet have white females on their show who are crackheads. Black women said nothing black women rushed to speak out for Rhianna but were silent when Stacy Dash ex-husabnd who is white abused her during their brief marriage. Bottom line BOTH sides need to stop the petty sniping at each other because neither side is perfect. There are LOSER black women that are stupid,uneducated, foolish,have multiple babies daddies,are loud and ghetto,commit crimes and are digusting as all get out as there are black men. We should be working together instead of tearing each other down. And Robin Givens is a stupid, no talent, pathetic never was trying to stay relevant by whining for the past two decades over TWO men that don’t even want her ass anymore. She also brags about Brad Pitt when they have been over for a long time she needs to go crawl back under her rock and stay there.
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@ THE ALCHEMIST
who said: “After suffering for hundreds of years, many black males can see no suffering except their own. No matter what happens they are ALWAYS THE ONLY victims.
The black male collective relates to black women and others in a very narcissistic way. Past and present injustices justify their right to functions outside of any sort of just ethical/moral framework. In other words, they have given themselves a “Black Male Victimhood Pass”.
This pass allows the bearer the right to rape, murder, sexually/financially exploit, menace, degrade and emotionally neglect black women and black children who do not play-their-positions or if the bearer (BMV) is bored. They are blinded by their own anger at not receiving the full patriarchal goody bag at birth.
The blood in the streets that belongs to their mothers, sisters, and daughters goes unnoticed. Perhaps the blood has been there for so long its existence no longer registers as unusual by black males and many black females.”
————
This is the kind of TRUTH that many black females are afraid to express lest we appear to working “against the black male” and working on behalf of “the (white) man.”
Black females largely remain silent in the face of so much collective black male abuse and ridicule OUT OF FEAR of alienating black males whose ties to black females are already so FRAGILE that just the least bit of LEGITIMATE CRITICISM may break them altogether
BUT that is a RISK we must take because we cannot go on like this. We cannot continue to ALLOW the black female to be ANYONE’S punching bag YET expect her to raise (often alone) MENTALLY HEALTHY BLACK CHILDREN — who are the FUTURE of the black nation.
Unfortunately, I have seen the attitudes you described above — of all my life, that black males are largely silent when it come to the abuse and degradation of black females YET expect the black female to make up the BLACK VANGUARD in those issues that primarily affect black males.
Black girls and women’s abuse is always swept under the rug and just mentioning them is seen as DIVISIVE by those black males who believe that ONLY they are the real victims because in their minds ONLY men are important — let’s be real about that.
This ATTEMPTED SEXISM (because REAL sexism requires REAL POWER) is something that seemed to take wings in the early sixties when white males like Daniel Moynihan cunningly blamed black females for the “emasculation” of black males RATHER than RIGHTFULLY blaming white people — and gave the poor oppressed black a NEW target for his frustration and rage:
the black female
I believe the NUMBNESS of black males toward black female suffering is NOT because they are heartless, but because they have been rendered POWERLESS during and after slavery to stop the abuse of their women and children that after a while, they began to NORMALIZE and INTERNALIZE the belief that the black female was NOT worthy of uplifting OR protecting because they had FAILED at doing it for so long.
The ABNORMAL became NORMAL
We all live under a white supremacy ANTI-FEMALE, ANTI-BLACK, and ANTI-BLACK FEMALE society, which has all but CRUSHED the ability to EMPATHIZE with the most DEGRADED PERSON in America: the black female, especially, the dark-skinned black female,
And I see this lack of empathy that black females have for OTHER black females.
I think you have dug DEEP in your analysis and have made some serious points worthy of extended food for thought
I also believe that rather than always suggesting that black females do more INTERNAL work on ourselves (which most of us desperately need)
black males need to DOUBLE their FOCUS on their OWN internal housekeeping
we will NOT be able to solve the problem of eliminating racism/white supremacy without the black male AND black female working TOGETHER, so we better work on respecting, supporting, and valuing each other while we still have TIME.
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Yet you expect me to take your comment serious when you did the exact thing you were preaching to other black people to stop doing. Smh. LOL
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Last comment was @ Lavern
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Thank you, TrojanPam for all your comments here. Just thank you.
It needs to be said again and again that is is white males crafting everyone else’s narratives that is the real problem. They do this because they are the ones who benefit when the people they are oppressing are all at each others throats. They will craft stories, lies and histories to divide everyone into the smallest possible groups and then set them on each other. I feel like they’ve thoroughly succeeded with black folk and Sotomayor is a prime example of that success as he has definitely drank the purple Kool-aid.
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Hmmmmm…..that’s interesting because the majority of Black women i see when going to the market, restaurants, banks, department stores, seem to be normal and functional. Nor have i seen Black women pick fights or escalate a simple misunderstanding (other than on trashy t.v.).
But let’s really dissect what you are saying–
As with many Black people in the U.S., a quality education may be out of reach due to what resources they have access to or lack there of. Blacks who are in poverty or living in low income communities are not to blame. The unfair, unjust system of intentionally staffing unqualified teachers in public schools in urban areas, denying Black parents the right to a school voucher to send their kids to a school of their choice and steady hikes in college tuition just may be the culprit as to why YOU encounter “stupid” and “uneducated” Black women which is still very subjective depending on who you ask.
Again, “foolish” is subjective, but unless there is some case study to point where Black women deliberately seek out multiple men to father their children, pray tell. Oh… and the over-inflated 70% of Black children born out of wedlock meme doesn’t count. See TaNeishi Coats’ research about the matter.
Besides that, i have not read anywhere on this thread where somebody has suggested that Black men don’t get their fair share of character assassination coming from a society that is schizophrenic, psychotic, anti-Black men, women and CHILDREN and family.
While i am under no illusion that Black women or men are perfect, i am convinced that too many folk have a stake in our “staying in our place” including some “well-meaning Black folk” who post here.
The simple solution: Functional, and healthy Black people who do not look to the sick media for validation or to understand Black people need to begin carving out our own communities for our collective well-beings.
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@Truth P.
“@Temple much of what people claim is BWE is not Bwe at all.”
Thanks, I know the true mission of BWE & I have & will always support the health, welfare & safety of black women & girls.
In my comment I was using Abagond’s BWE post to show his attempt to villanize BWE, while viewing Sotomayer as “just a man with thoughtful ideas.”
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@ Truth P — great comment here. I agree.
As usual, The Alchemist, I enjoy your intelligent comments.
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@ phoebeprunelle
Very well said as always.
From what I have seen of those black women that people consider “uneducated”… they actually are not. unless by this the individual was refering to speaking proper english in which case i will say english is highly overrated.
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“@ TheDeborahGirl and Probably Everyone Else
I am sorry for the pain my sexist stupidity caused. I hope I can learn from this debacle.”
THANK YOU (not yelling) for this, Abagond 😀 I hope that you will remain conscious of this going forward. This is what many women of color who have come to your blog have been attempting to get you to recognize. Some have left & some remain (I’m one who remains, though not as vocal as I once was). Please work with us on this.
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If you must know Tommy nobody Sotowhateva is a demented, angry tragic dark skin negro who runs his mouth like a fucking fool. Not only that, he is at hypocrite. He is a very angry man, yet he calls black women angry. He’s basically a retard who’s pissed at his own mother because she gave him the dark black skin that he has. Self hating negro Uncle Tom and traitor is what he is. Not to mention he’s ignorant, and makes blanketed generalizations by saying all black women are this or that way. He’s also ugly and I doubt any woman white,black or purple would want him anyway. He has troubled relationships as well can’t keep a woman at all. I other words he’s a loser.
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From laromana:
I’m most impressed by all of the remarkable achievements BW have/have had in America because, from day one, EVERYONE in this culture has always mistreated/disrespected the humanity, dignity, and femininity of BW.
I’m outraged/disgusted by the BW HATERS/BW hate culture BW have been forced to endure in America. That’s why I have such a high degree of contempt for ANTI-BW BM (like Tommy Sotomayor) who publicly promote/condone BW hate even though they OWE BW their lives/all due respect.
The lies, myths, and stereotypes BW HATERS/BW hate culture use to BRAINWASH all American men to hate/demean,degrade,disrespect them, doesn’t change the fact that BW are smart, beautiful, feminine, loving, loyal, wonderful human beings worthy of being treated with love, dignity, and respect.
There are some American men/non-American men around the world who have chosen to reject BRAINWASHED ANTI-BW thinking and who are willing to love/cherish/care for/respect BW instead.
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laromana
I agree with you, but I still have to disagree with the belief that “some” men reject this thinking. More do than I think people are willing to give credit to.
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After 59 years of life I agree with everything he’s sayinging and hating on me won’t fix there problem
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@ V
you are free to agree as you choose, but you can’t consider those who disagree with you as hating because they would be just pointing out the flaw in his and obviously your reasoning.
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@ lkeke35
I agree. And even when we know (or say we know) that the problem is WHITE PEOPLE — who CREATED and FINE-TUNED our inferiority mindsets, dark skin FETISHES, and DYSFUNCTIONAL ways of dealing with other, we still delight in bashing and arguing with each other.
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@ sharina
I see, so it MY thinking that’s flawed of course yours is perfect. Let’s forget what he says can all be proven and showned. I have an idea why don’t we overlook the facts and stats. And as the community dies you keep on being a “strong black woman” speaking of flawed.
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@ V
I don’t remember claiming my thinking to be perfect, but if you say so. So if what he says can be proven then prove it. Show me that all black women are like that. Show me all or the majority of black women acting like that? Show me the stats that support this. If you can show me this then by all means I will recant. “Strong black woman” I am that but I am many things as a woman, but nice of you to try and tell me what I am. It is so sweet that people try to debate by telling people what they think, are, or believe.
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@ V
What will fix the problem then?
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Has anyone seen UHeardMethe1sttime’s assessment of his fame? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilDBT8kIbHI)
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@ Beautywoc
1. No. Just no. You do not TELL people what they are, particularly just after they told you otherwise. Not only is it highly insulting, you have no way of knowing the truth. For all you know everyone here is an Argentinian midget. If she did say she was not light, then produce the quote and ask her about it. Otherwise let it be.
2. It does not matter if she is light or dark or what. It might give insight into why she thinks as she does, but it hardly proves or disproves what she is saying. To think otherwise is an ad hominem fallacy.
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@ Peanut
Well, when I do it, point it out. That is part of why I allow comments.
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will there ever be a post on the negative effects for black women defending and supporting black men? What sense does it make to down black women for being masculine but at the same time not have an issue with unarmed black women protesting on the front lines on behalf of a gunned down black man or boy before racist police officers with guns? What sense does it make for black men to even ask for black women to get involved in such activities?
Why is it that black men have no issue with black women being argumentative loud cursing and yelling on their behalf, but when she is that way in defense of herself against someone who is attacking her it is an issue?
why is that when black women fight for themselves because black men don’t feel that it is their responsibility to do so black men down her?
black men seem to only want black women to be “feminine’ and “lady like” when black men and boys are not in harms way.They don’t seem to want black women to be “lady like” and “feminine” all the time.If more black women were feminine and lady like that would mean a whole lot more responsibility for black men.
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“oh no no no no I’ve never said that I was DARK-skinned. I’ve said that I am brown-skinned. I wouldn’t have said that I was dark because I don’t get treated the same way that dark-skinned Black women do and don’t face the same level of discrimination. I’ve NEVER had soemone say “you’re pretty for a dark girl,” even though I’m Black, I’ve not had to deal with the colorism that some of my darker-skinend sisters have so I wouldn’t dare claim myself as dark when I know I have lighter skinned privilege, even though I’m black.
I’ve always said that I’m brown, so I don’t what you’re talking about. ”
Abagond,
There is your quote. She said she is brown, not light. That’s how I know that she is not light. That mattered in the discussion because she initially insulted “light” women, not brown, not dark. I simply pointed out that it is just as wrong to degrade one group as it is the other. It doesn’t make you more noble. It just adds to the problem.
Alchemist,
Now you are assuming my hue. High yella tears? Why is it ok for you to be offensive? I stopped reading your comment after that sentence.
Jittery Junebug,
Yes, I agree with your points. That is true. It’s a matter of perspective.
We all know the hardships of dark women. But, I think that we should be open to learning about everyone’s hardships, without them being labeled “High Yella Woman’s Tears”.
It seems that emotion overrules logic and even common consideration on this topic for some. So, there is no reason to try to have a reasonable discussion. Done with this thread.
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Another thing that has not been allowed on bwe blogs that has been allowed by TS and SWP crowds in regards to black women is for racist white men to post their hatred for black men.
Acceptable comments from white men went like this
“I find black women attractive and loveable” ” I married a black woman/my girlfriend is black I feel very protective of her and I won’t allow racist white or black men harass her.” “I’m reading this blog to be a better ally to the black women in my life that I love.”
In regards to some of the comments that were allowed/considered acceptable when the few white men did speak on black men the comments went kind of like this “I agree that men are suppose to protect and provide for their women and children I think it’s sad that so many men don’t” “I have had black men try and talk down about black women in front of me even though they know my girlfriend/wife is black” “I have had black men friends of mine try to discourage me from dating/marrying black women” “I have heard black men in my circle say things that were racist against black women and it made me feel uncomfortable.” “I had to stop being friends with my black men friends once I married my black wife or started dating my black girl friend I didn’t know about their hatred of black women prior to that time because black women never came up in conversations as all my black friends had white girlfriends as did I”
I watched as numerous racist white men tried to set up shop and were banned.Their comments either deleted or were never approved by the blog owner in the first place.
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Marriage and family-minded women need to find similarly marriage and family-minded men to marry and create families with during their peak reproductive years.
All else is secondary to this biological imperative.
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I read a whole lot worse than Tommy Sotomayor’s particular brand of Black woman bashing when I first started online back in 1996. In their bashing of Black women, no stone was left unturned: Black women were generalized not only by the behavior exhibited by individuals, but also generalized and horrifically critiqued from the tops of their heads to the tips of their toes — and just about everything in between. It got to the point that I found it difficult to believe that even self-hating Negroes could say such things about their general female counterparts — and of the women who gave birth to them (I became convinced for a while that it had to be Stormfront members masquerading as Black woman bashing, angst-ridden and self-hating Black men (as I found it difficult to fathom that so many Black men could come to the conclusion that phenotypic Black men are, at the very least passable, but that the universe went horribly wrong in creating the phenotypic Black woman). I have long since concluded that a lot, if not all of them, were indeed Black men.
I made the rounds of Black sites when I started online and there were NO BWE sites back then. The phenomenon of BWE / BW & WM interracial blogs is quite recent in comparison to the disgusting Black woman bashing I read during the decade long span of mid 90-mid 2000s, and is more a reaction, IMO, to the widespread online Black woman bashing which preceded it than it is anything else….
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I cannot understand how Black men can put together logical arguments about how racists cherry pick and stereotype, in order to generalize a derogatory impression of Black people. Then, turn right around and agree with stereotypes and generalizations about Black women, as if the same rules somehow don’t apply?
Are they really that stupid???
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To what end?
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Fiamma:
I first encountered this on CollegeClub.com back in 2005, when the site was till up and running. . . and given your date, 1996–this has been going for the past 17 years and i still have a hard time believing that Black men are the majority of this online attack against Black women. Do a number of Black men participate in it? Sure–no doubt. Am i protecting Black men blindly at the expense of fellow Black women when i say this? No. (Just to be clear with some folk.)
If it started as early as 1995-1996, it makes all the sense in the world to me that the bulk of it was indeed coming from racist and insecure white men and women creating usernames posing as Black men. The mid 1990’s saw an increase in Black women enrolling in colleges (almost at neck break speed). What am i saying? I do not believe anything happens in a vacuum and that we always need to understand the context. Also, there was a decline in teenage pregnancies in Black girls–so i have noticed that anytime the social status of Black women collectively is progressing–the insecurity of certain groups of white people will rear its ugly head–just that some Black men are foolishly and dangerously not aware of this…
And if the online dehumanization of Black women has not slowed down since 1996, but has increased!?? It is because the social standing of Black women has steadily increased via college enrollment, global politics (BWIE is a good site that highlights this), embracing natural hair etc…so at this point i don’t expect the online filth to die down. No. I suspect it will only increase.
Just my theory.
@Everyone, btw BWIE stands for “Black Women In Europe”. Last time i checked someone tried to hack into so they were on hiatus a bit.
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‘it’s about getting with white men because they feel that white men, with their power and privilege will protect Black women…and up their status on the social ladder”
And there is NOTHING wrong with this at all.A black woman who is interest in white men wanting a white man to do things for her such as protect and provide.Isn’t this what you all want from black men what’s the difference?Furthermore,Isn’t this what black Cinderfellas do when they latch on to white women and white men as both lovers and friends and form alliances with them and develop reciprocal relationships with them?
Why can’t black women also seek friendships and form beneficial alliances with white men and white women?All of this talk about black women wanting a white man savior while black men are actually divesting and forming these same reciprocal relationships with individual white people.Why can’t black women do it too?
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“there was even a group of Black men advocating killing Black women, they were YouTubers who called themselves “black israelites,” and they actually said there would come a day when they would be killing black women. ”
They still exist.And they were not just talking.Many of them have murdered black women through physical violence, Aids and the hatred they have spread to the world which makes people feel that we are an easy target.These people then act out all manner of abuse and violence towards black women
“they are an extreme example’ No.they are typical. the norm. There are others who speak bad of black women to anyone that would consider loving, befriending, helping black women and try to convince them otherwise.
They are all devils.
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Phoebeprunelle there’s a lot of evidence. The first with 15000 families is definitive IMO: Barbara A. Cohn studied samples of 15000 families. Their study showed blacks in California have higher testosterone.
Zhang, Y., Graubard, B. I., Klebanoff, M. A., Ronckers, C., Stanczyk, F. Z., Longnecker, M. P., McGlynn, K. A. studied samples of 150 black and 150 white women. Black women had higher testosterone.
American Journal of medical genetics studied samples of 4 blacks and 26 whites – blacks had higher testosterone
Ross R, Bernstein L, Judd H, Hanisch R, Pike M, Henderson B. in Journal of National Cancer showed blacks have 15% higher testosterone level
Other studies show little or no difference THOUGH THEIR SAMPLE SIZES ARE UNIFORMLY MUCH SMALLER.
Btw,mary Burell,calling people big Richard is actually telling on yourself. You’re also derailing the discussion. If you must respond to the thread,please confine yourself to the issue-the greater testosterone level in BW.
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Kay:
^So 4 Blacks (who possibly could have been on some kind of medication that increases that hormone or all male) compared to 26 whites is a consensus as to Black women as a collective carrying more testosterone? This will be easier than i thought…
Let’s see what the counter studies have to say shall we?
http://jcem.endojournals.org/content/96/10/3199.full.pdf–“Estrogen Levels Are Higher across the Menstrual Cycle in African-American Women Compared with
Caucasian Women” Peer reviewed by the way.
Higher estrogen levels=extra feminine by the way. But moving on…
Taken from breastcancer.org:
http://www.usc.edu/uscnews/stories/12897.html–“USC study links ethnicity and estrogen levels to breast cancer risk”
I mean i could keep posting, but most people reading this can see the obvious trend…
In conclusion, all human beings regardless of gender have some testosterone and all human beings regardless of gender produce some estrogen; however, men produce way more testosterone than women (it is what deepens their voices, and gives them facial hair), and women produce way more estrogen than men (it is what regulates the menses, breast development, etc)..
So if it were the case that Black women have the most testosterone of any other group of women–then i dare say our wider hips, denser breast tissue and thicker menses are all imaginary.
Conversation stopped before Abagond escorts me to open thread.
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Black Males call for the extermination of low income black women, hood rats, in “Die Hood Rats Die”.
(http://ilpvideo.com/video.php?v=MzQ5NTM)
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I see someone hasn’t been taking her meds. I’ll just let you jabber on till you get banned. Abagond seems to draw in the crazies from everywhere……
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“^So 4 Blacks (who possibly could have been on some kind of medication that increases that hormone or all male) compared to 26 whites is a consensus as to Black women as a collective carrying more testosterone? This will be easier than i thought…
Let’s see what the counter studies have to say shall we?
http://jcem.endojournals.org/content/96/10/3199.full.pdf–“Estrogen Levels Are Higher across the Menstrual Cycle in African-American Women Compared with
Caucasian Women” Peer reviewed by the way.
Higher estrogen levels=extra feminine by the way. But moving on…
Taken from breastcancer.org:
On the other hand, African American women have a lower risk of breast cancer than white women, but in this study, African American women had higher estrogen levels than white women.
http://www.usc.edu/uscnews/stories/12897.html–“USC study links ethnicity and estrogen levels to breast cancer risk”
I mean i could keep posting, but most people reading this can see the obvious trend…
In conclusion, all human beings regardless of gender have some testosterone and all human beings regardless of gender produce some estrogen; however, men produce way more testosterone than women (it is what deepens their voices, and gives them facial hair), and women produce way more estrogen than men (it is what regulates the menses, breast development, etc)..
So if it were the case that Black women have the most testosterone of any other group of women–then i dare say our wider hips, denser breast tissue and thicker menses are all imaginary.
Conversation stopped before Abagond escorts me to open thread.”
Unless your study has a larger sample size than the 15,000 black families quoted its difficult to invalidate their findings of higher BW testosterone.
Umm…estrogen in women is produced by testosterone.
.
” Also, when women approach menopause, they produce far less testosterone than before, which is the reason why they experience far lesser sexual desire.
Production of Estrogen – Estrogen, that primary female sexual hormone, is made from testosterone”
http://healthmeup.com/news-diet-fitness/how-testosterone-affects-women/4551
Read the whole article twice.
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It would seem that Kay has merely cut and pasted information ffrom this thread
http://www.thescienceforum.com/biology/7171-blacks-arabs-higher-testosterone.html#post84204
But left out the evidence that directly contradicts his claims. That particular section that was posted by Kay also seems to have been floating around the PUA/race realist crowd. I have also been searching through that Cohn study,and I am unable to find his particular claim. Kay, could you perhaps post a link, to your claims?
The thread is in response to Abagond’s post about an Internet personality, not an elaboration on the amount of hormones one group has compared to another.
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SF:
I thought i was the only one who noticed this?
Exhibit A:
i. just. cant.
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What do these so called Black women haters think about their own mothers and grandmothers and the other black women in their families? Do they deem these women inferior and all the other ugly pejoratives they label Black women with?
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@ kay
I don’t remember seeing anyone deny what estrogen is or does so I will consider that a form of deflecting.
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@ mary burrell
I wonder the same darn thing. I look at my uncles and all I can be is thankful. Thankful that those generation of men were raised right. To be respectful and to love the black women that raised them. Not that but to respect the black women that are out their.
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“It would seem that Kay has merely cut and pasted information ffrom this thread
http://www.thescienceforum.com/biology/7171-blacks-arabs-higher-testosterone.html#post84204
But left out the evidence that directly contradicts his claims. That particular section that was posted by Kay also seems to have been floating around the PUA/race realist crowd. I have also been searching through that Cohn study,and I am unable to find his particular claim. Kay, could you perhaps post a link, to your claims?”
No ,I didn’t. I wouldn’t have given the link and I did say there were a number of studies and the largest sample size confirmed BW had more testosterone. I care nothing for the pua/race reality crowd or how they decide to (mis)use this info.
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@ Kay
Regardless, such assertions about testosterone seem likely to be unscientific at base, and probably irrelevant. I can’t see where the application might be.
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As for Tommy Sotomayor’s school of thinking, I wouldn’t wonder that many who agree with his nonsense are projecting. How much of this image of the horrible Black woman comes as the result of the absent father in their lives, I wonder?
Often when there is no father present (and often not paying enough or any child support) the single mother becomes the object of resentment. She is the parent who has to discipline the child. She must tell the child unpleasant realities, like “Sorry, we just don’t have the money for that.” She is the one who has to ask teenage son’s to hand over part of their pay check because the family needs it. etc. etc. The absent father may be hated at times, but he can also be an imaginary figure, who takes on the dimensions of a savior in the minds of his children. Children ask themselves, what their mother’s did wrong to chase their father’s away.
Later on down the line, the girlfriend is eventually forced to take on a familiar role of asking the young man to pay his half of the rent, or to at least help out with the expenses. When the kids come along the pressure steps up and the guy steps out. The pattern is set for another generation of stupidity. The woman is wrong because she is too often the only one left to tell the dummy that he is a dummy and to grow a pair, and grow up! You can see why an immature fool would hate this.
It’s not that Tommy Sotomayor isn’t saying ANYTHING that is true, it’s that he very conveniently leaves off the part that chicken-hearted men play in this cycle.
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@ King: I like that analysis. Very succinct and to the point.
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how the hell am I doing the same thing? I was just saying that because there is a lot of butthurt attitude coming from the black women in the comment section. As if you are somehow immune from criticism because well you are just as downtrodden if not more so than black males. As for being uneducated please that is a worthless cop-out many black folks who are educated did so because they desired a proper education. If you believe that being smart or educated makes you a ‘chump’ then that is your fault and your problem not anyone else’s. and yes I have seen a number of videos across the web of black women being straight up fools. my point is no you are not perfect and being marginalize doesn’t let YOU off the hook anymore than it does a black man. Plus I have seen a number of instances where black women could have spoken out on behalf of another black women yet they too are silent because there is no black male involved. Both sides are guilty of petty nonsense while decrying responsibility because woe is me I’m so oppressed. Black women try to get away with that mindset the same as black men so don’t front.
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@Lavern,
The post at hand is about Sotomayor, not some tit for tat b.s.
With comments like these, i am starting to believe that Sotomayor is a genius because he is playing on the inner most fears of Black people and it is working beyond perhaps his wildest dreams.
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@ Lavern
How aren’t you doing the same thing? You just bashed Robin Givens (not a fan of hers mind you), but you took to bashing this woman to all high heaven. What did that solve exactly? Was it suppose to paint you in a better light than her? Tommy S. does just that. bash instead of any real constructive conclusion on how to fix the problems. Just shows that blacks love putting each other down.
It has been said time and time again that the issues are bad men and women in the group (not sold on the it is the majority bit that people keep passing based on poor evidence). Tommy, per the subject, believes it is all the fault of women and others have pointed out the fault of the men.
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Tommy don’t give a damn about Black Folks because if he did, he would come at Black men just as hard. Tommy is making money off the backs of Black Women…. a big money market for Black Women Bashing.
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In other words, Tommy is a sellout…
To use an old expression.
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I just will never for the life of me understand why some of you sistas, so amazing and intelligent and well spoken, continue to hold onto the last strings of a community that Black men have long abandoned. Even the ones who claim to be pro-Black are more often than not strikingly only pro-Black male. Even the man whose blog you are posting on and you all have considered an ally has admitted as such, SEVERAL TIMES in your own presence on this very blog post and others. Black women’s needs that are not shared by Black men, are an afterthought to the vast majority of Black men. Its not something I’m stating to cause strife, I am stating it as a mere fact that Black women MUST ACCEPT and MUST ADJUST TO. I mean after all, what more does it take? After all of his insulting empathizing and quite frankly defense of TS, Abagond gave a simple apology and promised “to do better” and that was it? Dude openly sympathized with a man who says some of the most appalling racist garbage about Black women daily, admitted he’d NEVER do such a thing in the reverse, and all it took was an apology and he’s your “brother” again? What is this nonsense?
When does self preservation as a group come into play for Black women as it concerns Black men? If this was any other group we’d have long ridden each other to the ground about trying so hard to get approval at the expense of our own self respect. It pains me to see this happening even amongst sistas who are fully aware of the lack of reciprocation if not all out attack stance many Black men have taken towards Black women. So again, if even our best and brightest refuse to accept reality and look out for themselves first and foremost (as Black men are continuously showing us they will do), what hope is there? Our Black daughters will be even further degraded and tasked to mire in the oft spit on, pissed on, and shat on bed we have created for them by refusing to fight for them against the ones who oppress them the most openly today. The attempt to isolate and annihilate Black women and girls as one of you so eloquently put it will succeed, and ironically Black women will play a major role in it because of their refusal to act.
None of this is to say to mistreat the Black males that you come across in your daily lives. But to understand that your fight as Black women is truly not theirs and never going to be because they don’t want it to be. And the fact of the matter is, we don’t need it to be. If Black women spent as much time helping each other and furthering causes that specifically benefit us and Black girls and no one else as they do pining for Black men to “come home” and finally “protect them” we’d be so much further than we are. Even if you want to keep the desperation going, at least recognize that their “coming home” is not going to be achieved by begging but by leaving. It is often that men regret/feel the most pain and realize all their mistakes AFTER mistreating the best woman they’ve ever had and having her go cold and leave him. That is the crossroads Black women are at right now, but too many, even our best and brightest, are seemingly too COWARDLY to do what I know deep down they know needs to be done. And we are the ONLY ones suffering from it (and therefore, our children, since they are left with us).
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Further proof about that many black men ARE Nazi’s toward black women.Strange science as provided by Kay.
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I read somewhere that African men, while not having higher testosterone than other males, have fewer blockers of it. Arab men? I had always assumed that African men and African descended men had “higher T” because they look and sound like they do. Scientifically I was not technically accurate as it is not higher T levels but less blockers for it, so the end result is the same as having higher T.
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Truthhurts:
“Tommy is making money off the backs of Black Women”
Why shouldn’t Tommy make money off the backs of black women? Plenty of black women make money working on their backs with that child support and welfare.
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Yeah, why should anyone have to pay child support!!???
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“Black female Marie Antoinettes get black women and girls killed”
“Which is why these women are often annoyed when other BW mention or do any consciousness-raising about these matters. Because, you know, hearing about such things puts a crimp in the Marie Antoinettes’/Special Snowflakes’ day. By trying to shut down any mention of these matters, these women help create an “anything goes” atmosphere in which any and all attacks on BW are permissible.”
Lavern is in that category.The lie that black women are as hateful towards black men as black men are towards black women won’t stand.A lie can’t. Black women are the most valuable thing that black collective has.
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@ Pinkmatter
1. I agree that an apology alone is meaningless unless it is followed by a change of behaviour. I am not disputing that.
2. My “defence” of TS was mainly about his right to express his opinions.
3. I do not agree with most of what he says nor have I ever defended his core positions, either here or anywhere else on my blog. Even in the original post I called them racist. While I am not going to claim I am completely free of sexism and racism against black women, I do not make that the cornerstone of my thinking. I understand that those beliefs are problematic and screwed up, that my mind has been poisoned, HE does not.
4. I admit that I did try to see “some good” in him, to see the baby in the bathwater. Trojan Pam and Temple made me see that I would never do that for BWE believers or white racists, that it was a dumb-ass move, that any sufficiently articulate defender of a position is, on occasion, going to say some “intelligent” things I might agree with. Once I saw my mistake I fixed my post and apologized.
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Sample size is only one measure of precision, and you till have not shown me where in that study it says that BW have higher testosterone levels. You have also said nothing about the ability of black women to use aromatase to convert androgens, whether or not their supposed high T-levels are environmental etc.
Al Sharpton doesn’t support black women because bitches is liars. Don’t believe me? Two words: Tawana Brawley. Never mind the Duke stripper. Old Al wrecked himself on Brawley, so when he does that civil rights crap, he does not waste time with black women. Black men are a better bet. Just think of that Central Park rape story with the six black men accused of gangbanging a snowbunny. Civil Rights is a very important business, it gives one power, and access to money from large corporations and lobbying frims who seek aid. If you play your cards right. And playing your cards right means staying the hell away from black women. Too big a risk.
NO!!!! Bitches is evil!!! Why can’t you understand that? I’ve seen :
1. Black women telling their sons they’re “worthless like their daddy”
2. Black women turning their sons into their sonsbands
3. Black women mistreating the son of one of their baby daddy, to impress her new babydaddy.
Evil man. Evil.
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Tommy actually some good, if not perfectly articulated points.
The BWE and white racists do not, stopped clock fallacy notwithstanding.
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“Rather, Sotomayor is a male counterpart of BWE”
He is NOT a male counterpart to BWE.And the fact that you stand by this lie shows that you have not changed anything about the original post at all.
I have laid out the numerous differences in BWE compared to TS
For BWE to be like TS there would have to be a call for black women to murder,rape, do anything at all to black men and boys.BWE blogs call for black women to separate themselves from people in general that are dangerous and useless,to VET everyone and to not consider anyone to be an automatic ally based on shared skin color, gender, religion etc.
Damaged Beyond Repair is when someone knows what they are doing to other people is wrong and they continue to do it because they have decided that it is beneficial.
This is a lie “He is not playing to a white audience” –Yes he is.He and black men like him are using their hatred for black women to get noticed by the women they love and crave white women.
black women are his main demographic-if you mean that black women check his videos to disagree you would be right.If you mean there are a certain number of self hating black male identified “women” that agree with his evil because they are looking for male validation and attention you would be right.
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I have heard of these things but have never seen it. Your number one from what I heard can be and has been applied to the daughter as well.
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king:
“Yeah, why should anyone have to pay child support!!???”
Only if they were married. Do you think customers should pay child support to prostitutes who get pregnant, too?
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@ peanut
I agree.
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If you lay up and not use protection then you should pay for your indiscretions. Correct me if I am wrong but an egg alone can’t create a child.
Lets all pity the dead beat who is a victim of child support. He know not that no protection creates a child. It is the fault of the woman who put him on it.
I have a solution. Lets castrate men who make babies and not take care of them.
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Yes, obviously.
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But remember ladies it is your fault you got pregnant. Men are the victims. (Laughs uncontrollably)
All jokes aside that type of thinking is sad and disgusting on so many levels. It reaks of men feeling that do not have to be responsible for their actions. The generation of men is a dying one if that type of thinking is spreading.
In a conference talk a few months ago this very mindset and behavior was discussed. Men forgetting their duty as men and women stepping in to it. smh
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[…] Tommy Sotomayor […]
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Again… The things we seldom talk about, and rarely make definitive plans to improve upon.
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@ peanut
True. Often times what little child support these women get is not enough for the child.
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@ king and peanut
*sigh
Very true
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@ peanut
“in the Black community children are objectified in the sense that they are only ever talked about in terms of child support payments or being out of wedlock “burdens on society,” people act like children aren’t full human beings or something”
Now that sounds familiar. objectifying and only seeing black kids as dollar signs. reminds me of slavery. only with this the men hate to pay and sometimes don’t pay. i said this before and i’ll say it again, men should be concerned who they lay down with as well as women, because women from what i’ve seen have more rights to the child then men do. So if a man is trying to be a good father and the woman is keeping the child away or can give their child up for adoption without the mans consent in the state of utah men should be worried who they procreate with. imo the blame is on both men and women for creating that child and not putting that child first, in some instances the woman is more at fault and in others the man is more at fault, but they both have some blame they need to own up to. why just excuse the man completely? if the woman is lets say this example; a woman is 60% at fault and the man is 40% at fault. now idc who is at fault more i just want both to claim their role in it and stop putting 100% of the blame on the woman, when the man had a part in it too. Also why is it that when ppl talk about absent fathers they just focus on the affects it has on the boys and blame the woman and any wrong the boy does oh he is[victim] a product of his enviornment and his mother should’ve had a man in the house. but when it comes to the daughter its oh she is ghetto trash and needs to be removed, why not be sympathetic to both or feel anger towards both at least be consistent. if i don’t like how some ppl act i don’t give one gender a pass and the other i stay mad at, i may dislike one more than the other but i still dislike both. if u are afraid of dogs u don’t say hey im not afraid of this one because its a female and won’t bite me, that’s just the male dogs that bite. see how crazy that sounds?
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king:
“Yes, obviously.”
To quote Rachel Jentael, “That’s real retarded, sir.”
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sharina:
“But remember ladies it is your fault you got pregnant. Men are the victims.”
Women are the ones getting pregnant not men. So, yes, pregnancy is a woman’s responsibility. If the men weren’t married then they’re the victims. That’s what marriage is for. It’s a promise to support the mother and children.
“Lets all pity the dead beat who is a victim of child support. He know not that no protection creates a child. It is the fault of the woman who put him on it.”
Those poor innocent women. They were walking along minding their own business until they slipped and fell on a dck.
“I have a solution. Lets castrate men who make babies and not take care of them.”
If they were married when the baby was made then I agree. Otherwise, it’s all those women running spreading thy legs that need t be spayed.
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But the woman is not getting pregnant by herself. You are trying to bypass the responsibility of the men in this act. They aren’t forcing the penis in them. They aren’t forcing thes3 men not to wear a condom. Marriage or not these men atr making poor decisions and asking the women to take full blame for them. This line of think is not that of a man but a boy.
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Yeah, evidently the guy, who can’t keep his fly zipped has no responsibility for the child. A total lack of responsibility and character.
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Those men are victims alright. Victim of poor home training. If that man can not take care of children he made out of wedlock, then he sure isn’t good enough to be placing bets that he will be a good enough father to the children in wedlock and any woman that marries him knowing he has kids out there struggling day to day is nothing less than trash like him.
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sharina:
It doesn’t matter if it takes two to tango. The man isn’t the one getting pregnant. If you don’t like the biological reality then blame God or Nature. The reality is that the woman is the one getting pregnant not the man. The whole purpose of marriage is to make men responsible for their children. If women spread they legs for a bunch of men it’s their own fault. Yet women want to make men responsible for their own slutty behavior, That line of think is not that of a lady but a wh0re.
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Luckily the LAW says that if you father the child then the child is 50% your financial responsibility. Otherwise these men of false morality and low breeding would not hesitate to put the upon God, nature, and the woman.— but NEVER upon their own selfish and despicable actions.
And what kind of man would not support his own children? Only the very lowest kind of man would shirk this sacred responsibility.
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You can put it either way you want but it does not take away the part of theses whorish men. It takes one man and if she spreads for that one guy and that one guy did not use a condom then that one guy is and should be responsible for that baby. That female whorish or not can not get pregnant alone. You keep wanting to bypass that because she will carry the baby but how does that baby get in there? Not magic.
You trying to make the womsn whorish wont change that either. More often than not the women is pregnant by a boy friend and not the football team . This also will not change the facts that the men is just as much responsible. Throw marriage in all day because it won’t chanhe things.
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I agree. And yet women flop on their backs and throw they legs in the air for these guys. A man in Tennessee has 33 kids with 11 different women. Another man in Tennessee has 24 kids with 14 women. If you want to blame those two men then fine. How about blaming those TWENTY-FIVE women!!! If it wasn’t those 2 punks it would have been 2 different punks. You HAVE to blame the women when it only takes 2 punks sneaking around to knock up 25 women for FIFTY-SEVEN little bastrds. That’s a WOMAN problem.
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/man-fathered-30-kids-needs-break-child-support-140439765.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/06/orlando-shaw-father-22-children-14-women_n_3397397.html
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This is language of all such whoremongers. Never taking responsibility.
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sharina
“More often than not the women is pregnant by a boy friend and not the football team . ”
More often than not it could be her boyfriend OR the football team! LOL
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I wonder where this information comes from?
Sounds personal to me.
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Yup…but pregnancy aside; i also question the morality of a man who knowingly sleeps with those kind of women.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K7cQrL5mjw)
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“If you don’t like the biological reality then blame God or Nature.”—Who said I did not like it? I was just pointing out that sperm does not get into the vagina with magic.
“The whole purpose of marriage is to make men responsible for their children”—not necessarily.
“You HAVE to blame the women when it only takes 2 punks sneaking around to knock up 25 women for FIFTY-SEVEN little bastrds. That’s a WOMAN problem.”—I don’t have to do anything. Both parties are still at blame. The man does not escape blame in this.
“More often than not it could be her boyfriend OR the football team! LOL”—And maybe that is your bad experience (which does not speak good for you), but from mine it is often time the woman is pregnant from her boyfriend.
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The fact that it was only 2 guys means that the men involved where even more promiscuous than the women! Look how much damage just 2 guys did can you imagine if there were 4!!!
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sharina
“but from mine it is often time the woman is pregnant from her boyfriend.”
Oh! Now, I see! It’s YOUR personal experience we’re talking about.
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king:
You can try to make it a personal attack on me all you want. I’m proud to say that neither my wife nor I have ever been with anyone else. That’s by choice. It’s called character. Can you say that? If not then you might be one of these whorish men sharina is talking about. That’s what it’s really about. People trying to make excuses for their trashy behavior.
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And this is just my experience from what I have seen but it is usually a guy running between several women and not this woman spreading her legs for the world. The one female that I know that has several baby daddies was raped by her mother’s boyfriend and has been suffering with some issues.
I won’t deny that there are not some whorish women because there are, but that is not always the case.
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@Mr. Piggle Wiggle
You again? SMH, You can’t place all blame on Black women because Black men are just as guilty and responsible for the high out of wedlock birth rates in the Black Community as Black women. Both Black men and Black women need to take responsibility for creating these children outside the bond of marriage.
Personally I am a single, young Black woman with NO kids and I believe that children especially Black women thrive best in two parent homes where both parents love each other.
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“The fact that it was only 2 guys means that the men involved where even more promiscuous than the women!”
It means there are 25 trashy women for every 2 trashy men. The only reason those women don’t have 25 kids each is they can’t get pregnant with another bastrd while they’re still pregnant with the last one!
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“Oh! Now, I see! It’s YOUR personal experience we’re talking about.”—sorry to disappoint but if I had a boyfriend my husband would kill me and divorce me and then take the kids.
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not necessarily in that order though.
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And besides that; i don’t think “marriage” and rearing children is as private as we like to make it.
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Adeen
“Both Black men and Black women need to take responsibility for creating these children outside the bond of marriage. ”
People need to take responsibility for creating these children INSIDE the bond of marriage. I obviously agree with you that a 2 parent home is the way to go. That’s why these people need to stop it. Also I don’t blame the child for a bad situation.
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“sorry to disappoint but if I had a boyfriend my husband would kill me and divorce me and then take the kids.”
No he wouldn’t. Women always get the kids. Women always say the man is half the pregnancy but as soon as there’s a divorce women say the children blong with the mother! Interesting how that works out eh?
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“People trying to make excuses for their trashy behavior.”—Funny you mention this when you are excusing the trashy behavior of men.
“People need to take responsibility for creating these children INSIDE the bond of marriage”—They do but those kids are not created within those bonds and so responsibility needs to be taken for them out of it by the two individuals that got themselves into that mess.
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If men are just as responsible for pregnancy as women then I’d like to see men getting custody half the time — especially when they’re not married! Let’s prove that it’s equal. Otherwise its just women wanting to have their cake and eat it, too.
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@Sharina
Both Black men and Black women need to take responsibility for the high out of wedlock birth rates in the Black Community. We can’t solve this problem when we blame one and not the other. I am young and I may sound naïve but Black children thrive best when they grow up in a two parent home where both parents love each other and instill Black pride in their children.
First of all, Black women need to stop seeking out these type of men. Seriously these men are immature and not ready to settle down. They rather play around and sleep with any women they see that they find attractive.
Second of all, Black men need to step up to the plate and take responsibility for the children they created with these women. They should try to be in the life of the kids they made with these women and support these children too.
I also believe that Black teens like myself should be thought the importance of abstinence and waiting until you are married to have sex as well.
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Good for you Adeen!
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Both parents are responsible for the children they bring into the world together — which, of course, doesn’t always stop one or both parents from shirking their individual responsibilities toward their offspring….
However, just because a person might dodge his/her responsibilities, the act of dodging them certainly does NOT serve as exoneration of them.
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@Piggle Wiggle and Sharina
I agree. People who make these decisions need to take responsibility for their own actions instead of blaming others.
The high out of wedlock birth rate is not good at all. Black children need to grow up in two parent homes with two Black parents who love each other and instill Black pride in their children.
I know this because I am the product of a single mother and I don’t want my children to grow up in a single parent home IF I had children. I currently have no kids.
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“o he wouldn’t. Women always get the kids. Women always say the man is half the pregnancy but as soon as there’s a divorce women say the children blong with the mother! Interesting how that works out eh?”—Wrong. I actually know 4 single fathers that are divorced from their wives and currently have custody of their kids. I get what you are saying I do, but I think you believe you know more than what you do. You want to speak for everyone’s situation, but you don’t know everyone’s situation.
Men can get custody half the time if they want it. Married or not, but it is up to them to get a lawyer so this can be brought to the judge.
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@ Adeen , Fiamma, and Peanut
I agree.
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I have to give Peanut some love for saying that.
Here’s something that’s going to make really people angry. There’s a problem with child molestation and it has a lot to do with these single mothers. They have these children out of wedlock. Then they want to have a bunch of boyfriends. Some of these boyfriends end up molesting the children. Men molest children a lot more than women. I think fathers should be getting custody more to keep these kids away from their mother’s boyfriends.
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It makes people angry only because you choose to see one side of it. The woman is always at fault.
Now as my nature I will point to the otherside. Men don’t get the custody because they like the freedom. They figure I pay my child support or just give money, see child once a week…looks fine no bruises, and back to mother in time for me to go to the club. Fathers getting custody more and then what happens to the child when the father turns out to be the molestor?
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or one of father friends molest them. There are so many scenarios and either party could take blame in them. I am not saying one is better than the other and one deserves more leeway than the other or one is less at blame than the other, but blame shifting isn’t going to fix the problem. It is just another way to escape responsibility.
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@Sharina
Same here. Well said. Most courts give the mother the custody of the children and now I know why from reading your post but I don’t necessarily think that the father is better off with the father than the child is with the mother.
There are good and bad mothers out there. And there good and bad mothers out there.
@Piggle Wiggle
I disagree. Many men have girlfriends and wives that don’t like the children and Many of these men would side with their wives or girlfriends over their own child. Trust me, I have seen it happen in my family. And that is just as bad as the mother’s boyfriend touching and molesting the kids. Ultimately in both situations, the children feel sad, lonely and not wanted and that is not right.
Now where will the children feel comfortable if the kids are living with a mother who dates a man who molests them and when the father is living with a woman who doesn’t want to be around them? Sometimes I wonder.
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“Men don’t get the custody because they like the freedom. ”
Men don’t get married because they like strange. Back in the day, men got married because it was the only way to get a regular supply of cherry pie. Now they can go to the club and get all they want. Women have flooded the market with that stuff.
There’s a lot more boyfriends molesting than fathers. Even if a few fathers molest, more children would still be better off.
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@ Adeen
You brought up a very good point and one that did not cross my mind.
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“Men don’t get married because they like strange. Back in the day, men got married because it was the only way to get a regular supply of cherry pie. Now they can go to the club and get all they want. Women have flooded the market with that stuff.”—What does this have to do with anything I said?
“here’s a lot more boyfriends molesting than fathers. Even if a few fathers molest, more children would still be better off.”—And what makes you believe that? No one is ever better off being molested that is just sick and disgusting and to say that is ok because the child is with the father? Dare I say you are disgusting.
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This is what is funny here. It is ok if the father could be the molester as long as the child is not with the mother, It is ok if the father’s friend could be a molester as long as the child is not with the mother, and it is ok whatever happens to the child because they are better off with the father. Because Mr. Piggle-Wiggle is certain that the mothers boyfriend is the molester and the mother is the no good one.
If that thinking is not sick then somebody please tell me what is?
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sharina
“Dare I say you are disgusting.”
Dare I say you have problems with critical thinking and reading comprehension? Men are more likely to molest than women and boyfriends are more likely to molest than fathers. Therefore, children are at higher risk from their stepfather or mother’s boyfriends than from their stepmother or father’s girlfriends.
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“Dare I say you have problems with critical thinking and reading comprehension? “–You can say it but won’t make it true. I could also use this line in regards to the fact that I mentioned custody..you quoted me and started ranting about marriage, but I am not so petty as you.
You claimed there are a lot more boyfriends molesting than father so I would suppose you would be proving that as true rather than giving me your opinion of what you think is true.
“boyfriends are more likely to molest than fathers.”—Says who?
“Therefore, children are at higher risk from their stepfather or mother’s boyfriends than from their stepmother or father’s girlfriends.”—I don’t remember mentioning the stepmother or girlfriend in terms of molestation. 🙂
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Hey maybe tomorrow I will clearly point out that I said father’s friend and not girlfriend or stepmother (strange because never saw them as possible molesters). Anyway goodnight 🙂
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sharina
The issue was custody versus molestation so all living arrangements are on the table whether “remember mentioning the stepmother or girlfriend in terms of molestation” or not.
http://www.jennyraearmstrong.com/2012/04/27/more-statistics-on-child-abuse-or-why-single-moms-should-probably-stay-that-way/
This article is from a woman who’s arguing that single mothers should stay that way because boyfriends and stepfathers are high risk. She not saying fathers should get custody (because very few women do) but she gleans numbers from a study that support my point. She links the study in her post.
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“because boyfriends and stepfathers are high risk. ”
Yep!
All those baby killing and child abuse cases that we hear about are largely at the hands of some creep-ass “boyfriend”.
I’ve been preaching to all the single moms I know to not date until their children are grown adults out of the house.
Single moms are putting their kids at risk every time they introduce them to a new date or boyfriend.
“Honey, you’re a mom now – have some dignity, put your sexual desires on the back burner and spend quality time with your children instead!”
I give the same advise to single dads too.
Nobody needs to be sexin’ when they got kids!
Its shameful to say the least.
We need to bring back “shame” to our culture to keep these single parents in line and their kids safe!
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@abagond
You will call it a mistake, but we both know the truth. It wasn’t a mistake and you truly do feel that TS is valid on a lot of points. It only behooves you to apologize because the majority of your blog readers are Black women. Which again goes to show which of us are really standing for this “community” and which could give a shit less. And your blog is not the only example of this.
Look at other blogs about race and building community and finding solutions. Whether male or female run, who are the most frequent visitors and commenters? BLACK WOMEN.
Even when the majority of the issues on the blogs/sites are directed towards helping Black men and boys? BLACK WOMEN.
Even in the midst of heinous vitriol and outright blaming of all of the community’s problems on Black women, who are the ones coming to the table to admit “partial fault” in things they have no business taking ANY blame for, knowing the same leniency would not be extended to them? BLACK WOMEN.
Black men are no-damn-where to be found, and those that are are more concerned with protecting Black males from criticism they deep down know they deserve, than correcting any of the ills in the community. Black men are out for self-preservation first, second, third, and last. But people like yourself want to continue to feed lies to women that “change gon come” when you know it won’t because you yourself are too scared to even address your “brothers” enough to move towards it. And that’s why Black men are invisible in these discussions and in the neighborhoods (unless destroying and pillaging, or encouraging it as “masculine”) and will continue to be so.
But do you know the types of places where you WILL happen to find numerous Black men speaking on Black related issues, where the invisibility stops? The Black female HATE sites. That is Tommy Sotomayor, SWP, blackmenvent, and even regular hip hop forums that are teeming with hate for BW. There you will find no shortage of Black men sounding off and laying into Black women. Do you know where you so-called reflective and understanding Black men are when this is going on? Nowhere to be found, or on your blogs DEFENDING their “right to express their opinions”.
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@Peanut
What abagond said was no mistake, and that much is clear. He feels the way he said and much like a white racist is only recanting for selfish purposes. Are Black women so desperate for any Black male affection/acknowledgement of their plight that they will lie to themselves so blatantly in the face of clear dishonesty? When he goes back to his safe haven with other Black men, he will nod his head and agree with them as they rail Black women. Or, at the very least, he will remain silent and just allow the situation for Black women to continue to worsen around him. And he will never change. After all, what reason does he have to 1) he is not a Black woman, so he is not directly hurt by it and 2) when he can further sexualized racism against Black women for 23 hours and 59 minutes of the day, spend 1 minute apologizing when it behooves him, and still gain a following of the same people he oppresses?
Why does Black women’s loyalty cost so goddamn little when it is so goddamn strong????????
How do these little stupid, disingenuous apologies/promises to do better continue to be ALL that Black women require of Black men EVEN AFTER the years of abuse and neglect, and even WITH the current era of outright vitriol against Black women? How about at least REQUIRING that your begging only be satisfied by some real ACTION on their part and not just words, before you crawl back to them for hugs and grant your forgiveness?? That is to say if you choose to remain begging for reciprocation in the first place, which I don’t even understand or recommend for Black women anyway because it will get them nowhere.
I mean, please critically think here. Do you think Black men TRULY want to give up the power they wield for being men? Where have they EVER shown you this is something they are willing to do? In their rap videos? In their defense of Black women at a community level? In their treatment of their wives, girlfriends, and spouses? Black men have not even shown they are willing to give up minutes of sexual pleasure and their own personal gratification for their CHILDREN, much less give up their male privilege for YOU, a Black woman. A woman whom they don’t even feel worthy of respect, let alone see you as the prize they see other races of women. You, Black woman, are on your own, and its high time you act like it and stop begging for reinforcements that have shown they either won’t come, or will come only to attack you from behind.
Again, I WEEP for the next generation of Black girls, because we are so stuck in finding allies with people who have no interest in being so that we are doing NOTHING to protect them.
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@ Mr. Piggle-Wiggle
The issue was not custody vs molestation (atleast not for me) because like I said and will be repeating again molestation could happen with either party. Whether it be good old moms boyfriend or good old dads friend. Only you are up in arms trying to argue that child is better with dad.
As for remembering mentioning step-mom or girlfriend, I didn’t so no need to remember. In fact you brought it up (which is fine), but if you bring up something do me a favor and don’t try to argue or refute it like I said it. Now you want to try and fix your error by claiming “so all living arrangements are on the table whether “remember mentioning the stepmother or girlfriend in terms of molestation” or not”….well duh.
As for your article I will not dispute (even if numbers are old), but even with that it is still not showing one party better than the other. it still does not show one more suited than the other. Which is in fact what you have been trying to argue. Numbers only support your more likely to molest but not your more suited.
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@ Why?
I agree. You never know who is sick enough to hurt your kids.
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I will recant on something why. Women and men should be able to date with kids but never leave their kids alone with said partner. I think that is the mistake most of them make. Too much trust and often times too much trust in someone they don’t really know.
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@ Pinkmatter
You say I apologized to kiss up to black women. But you also say I do not give a shit about them. Make up your mind.
At this point you are believing what you want to believe. My blog does not support what you are saying.
Am I sexist? Yes. But do I bash black women and say most of them are “pure evil”? Hardly. I have written AGAINST the stereotypes they get slapped with. TS does not even see them as stereotypes. He suffers from internalized racism. I have said that from the start and still say that.
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“You say I apologized to kiss up to black women. But you also say I do not give a shit about them. Make up your mind.”
I don’t see this as double speak.One can give a shit about black women and yet kiss up to them so that they will support an agenda,product,blog etc.
Think Barack Obama and all his speeches about absentee black father’s. Then think about his policies and all the black women that his administration has thrown under the bus.
He doesn’t give a shit about black women either but he has kissed up to black women to try to get our vote.
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Another huge difference between BWE and TS. In BWE black women that don’t take care of their children are considered damaged and possibly beyond repair if they don’t make any changes in order to be valuable to their children’s lives.BWE does NOT tell black women to shirk their responsibility and let someone else handle it because they are “victims”.BWE tries to guide single black women to independence and tells them to form alliances and support groups with other like minded women and to find healthy minded men as mentors to their children if possible.
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@ Truth P
If I wanted to kiss up to a demographic as a blogger, it would be white people. There are WAY more of them.
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@ Truth P
Obama’s “tough love” talk about black fathers I think is aimed at white people. He has not done jack for black people, male or female.
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I will admit truthp that I know very little about BWE groups. Little should be replaced with nothing at all. Frankly if that is their goal then I am in support of it. Single mothers are here and are n9t going anywhere so it is best to prepare them to be better.
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Sharina
I will recant on something why. Women and men should be able to date with kids but never leave their kids alone with said partner. I think that is the mistake most of them make. Too much trust and often times too much trust in someone they don’t really know.
___________
Single parents are free to do whatever they want but they need to think of the effects their actions have on their kids.
Its destabalizing for a child to have their parent introducing them to various dates and “partners”.
The time, energy, and emotions that a single parent puts into dating should be going to their kids.
The home should be a calm, stable refuge from the outside chaos. No need to introduce a foreign element.
Single Parents: take the time and money you would spend dating some dude or dudette and invest it in your kids’ intellectual development.
A mind is a terrible thing to waste on watching your single mom or dad trying to get laid.
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pinkmatter:
Everything you pointed was the absolute truth regarding black women and their blind loyalty to black men.
I too, weep for the little black girls growing up and witnessing this…
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@Why?
“Its destabalizing for a child to have their parent introducing them to various dates and “partners”. “–It is which is why I am against children meeting a partner that the individual is not serious about or, as i stated, does not know enough about.
I am not against what you are saying, but even with all that it does not mean the parent can not date.
You don’t realize that the mindset of a lot of these individuals is to find stability in 2 parent homes. They are in such a rush to do this (because people preach that it is the best) that they neglect all other red flags. Its not always about getting laid contrary to belief. There goal is to find a man to be father to their children and to provide two parent home protection. They believe this is best for the kids above all else. They believe once that is achieved everything else will fall into place.
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“But do I bash black women and say most of them are “pure evil”?’
BWE does not bash black men either. Unless they are bad people or useless.BWe states that most black men fall into these categories.Those we have formed mutually beneficial and healthy relationships with, or neutral- to no value to black women and girls and the issues affecting us, or they are dangerous.
Most black men fall in the last two categories.No value/Neutral-Dangerous.
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Sharina, ” There goal is to find a man to be father to their children and to provide two parent home protection. They believe this is best for the kids above all else. They believe once that is achieved everything else will fall into place.”
This is to be done BEFORE laying down with a man, not using protection, and getting preggers by him. Friendship, dating, falling in love, engaged, wedding, children.
Women MUST screen and test and test the man consistently through this process.
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@ Why?
Well Duh! Obviously in their cases it did not happen in the perceived “proper” order. Which is why they are then seeking to render the problem after the fact.
Focusing on shoulda coulda wouldas are not going to fix a darn thing. It has past for them and the new focus needs to be towards their betterment and the betterment of their children.
Oh if only the world were truly as cut and dry as you believe it to be. Que sera sera
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Lavern merriweather said:
“First of all to say that black women don’t bash black men and also bsah white males is complete bullcrap. I read a number of blogs by black women that claim to be about empowering women of color yet are very biased towards black males and very rarely criticize white men. Case in point all the stupid white males on late night tv would constantly bash Whitney Houston for her drug use yet have white females on their show who are crackheads. Black women said nothing black women rushed to speak out for Rhianna but were silent when Stacy Dash ex-husabnd who is white abused her during their brief marriage. Bottom line BOTH sides need to stop the petty sniping at each other because neither side is perfect. There are LOSER black women that are stupid,uneducated, foolish,have multiple babies daddies,are loud and ghetto,commit crimes and are digusting as all get out as there are black men. We should be working together instead of tearing each other down. And Robin Givens is a stupid, no talent, pathetic never was trying to stay relevant by whining for the past two decades over TWO men that don’t even want her ass anymore. She also brags about Brad Pitt when they have been over for a long time she needs to go crawl back under her rock and stay there.”
Vin says
Truthful words!
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The two bolded areas show what most of us have known for a very long time: that black women are too crazy to create logical consistent arguments. Any one who has seen a BWE site knows that most of their hits and comments do not come from guides on sleeping with white men, or from their nose straightening plastic surgery guides (some of their more popular topics), but from posts bashing so-called ‘DBR’ black men.
The insanity of a black woman is like a time bomb. You will be with her for some time, being all happy and whatnot, the BAM!!! She flips out on you!!!. The BWE’s timebomb is even worse, it is triggered by the their self-realization of their own physical unattractiveness, obesity, overly dark complexion, simian facial features and the fact that most mixed/light-skinned women are FAR superior to them physically, intellectually and socially.
Or they may have been sexually abused by a black men, and then come to view ALL black men as rapists. It doesn’t matter. Their sheer unattractiveness usually prevents them from breeding, so they should die off soon enough. By then our children should be prepared to deal with the next generation of wiredos.
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it seems like the people who are single (and don’t have a man or woman of any race) knocking down the door to get to them are ALWAYS the most vocal and hate-filled.
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What I find interesting is how black boys like vindicator and satanforce are the main ones who like to bring up ghetto gaggers whenever they get shook up by black women who make a lot of sense.
Hmmmmm, are you two getting hard-ons by those videos as much as you do on those TS videos? Bitter black men always like to bring up this particular porn series and they seem to be the main ones to go to porn sites to watch them.
Never do they mention how they’re ‘rent-a-dicks’ for a certain fee. Mandingo much?
I wonder…
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@ moodscope
I’ve never seen or heard of ghetto gaggers until black men bring it up. but they don’t talk about the vids like thug hunter now the black men that have seen that and ghetto gaggers say thug hunter is the worst.
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MoodScope said:
What I find interesting is how black boys like vindicator and satanforce are the main ones who like to bring up ghetto gaggers whenever they get shook up by black women who make a lot of sense.
Vin says:
BWE and their idiot sympathisers rarely make any sense. If you honestly believe their BS then I truly feel sorry for you.
MoodScope said:
Hmmmmm, are you two getting hard-ons by those videos as much as you do on those TS videos? Bitter black men always like to bring up this particular porn series and they seem to be the main ones to go to porn sites to watch them.
Vin says:
Actually your beloved white men watch more porn than black men especially Ghettogaggers.
Ghettogagger = Black women that are infatuated and worship white men yet never call them out on their (white men) bs = BWE = loser women.
MoodScope said:
Never do they mention how they’re ‘rent-a-dicks’ for a certain fee. Mandingo much?
I wonder…
Vin says:
Why should I mention ‘rent-a-dicks’? You BWE acolytes love making false comparisons. No wonder even white men can’t stand the BWE!
The white man can’t even save the USA. What makes you think that they’ll save black women and their poor decision making!?
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mstoogood4yall said:
@ moodscope
I’ve never seen or heard of ghetto gaggers until black men bring it up. but they don’t talk about the vids like thug hunter now the black men that have seen that and ghetto gaggers say thug hunter is the worst.
Vin says:
Why should we talk about thug hunter?
Ghettogagger is a term that many men use to describe the useless, whiny, primadonna cult known as the BWE movement!
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i was replying to moodscope who was talking about the porn series. ok so u use that term as a way to describe the bwe ppl ok got it. but i was just talking about how some ppl bring up the porn series which i think should be taken down, but won’t talk about porn series degrading black men, which should also be taken down. I just don’t like the hypocrisy of some black men saying oh black women take ghetto gaggers down as if we put that nasty sheit up in the first place, but they don’t say hey black men take thug hunter down. Which imo both from what i’ve heard are very degrading, and need to be taken down, but not enough ppl are outraged about it and don’t have enough power to have it removed.
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@Msgood
Like i said; the ones who don’t have a man/woman of ANY race knocking down the door to be with them are the most vocal and opinionated when it comes to this. feel my drift?
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Why shouldn’t you? You are right, you shouldn’t. Obviously the male and female Blacks who support and are silent about such garbage have no problem being the sexual sewer and dumping grounds of suspect racists in a white supremacy system.
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Sharina
@ Why?
“Well Duh! Obviously in their cases it did not happen in the perceived “proper” order.””
– Nothing “just happens” on its own. Human individuals are agents that cause things to happen.
So If “it did not happen in the perceived proper order” we must ask – how did the human agents involved in the happening conduct themselves? What behavior of these individuals caused it to happen in such an improper order that now they are left scurrying to fix it?
“Which is why they are then seeking to render the problem after the fact.”
– Good luck!
“Focusing on shoulda coulda wouldas are not going to fix a darn thing. It has past for them and the new focus needs to be towards their betterment and the betterment of their children.”
– But women who have not yet made the bad choice to lay down without protection with men who are not their husbands can be prevented from doing so in the future if they understand the severe negative consequences of it.
“Oh if only the world were truly as cut and dry as you believe it to be. Que sera sera”
– The world is about choices. Cause and effect. The wheel of karma.
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@ phoebeprunelle
Yea i hear ya.
@ peanut
Search for it at ur own risk,i’ll give u a hint of whats it about. its about macho looking black men fkin white men or getting fked.
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@ Why?
“Nothing “just happens” on its own. Human individuals are agents that cause things to happen. “—Oh! Really! I had no idea!
“So If “it did not happen in the perceived proper order” we must ask – how did the human agents involved in the happening conduct themselves? What behavior of these individuals caused it to happen in such an improper order that now they are left scurrying to fix it?”—I agree and no doubt these questions must be asked, but their is a right way and a wrong way to go about that and often times if you take the wrong way you will not be guiding them to betterment but walking them to self destruction.
“Good luck!”—Apparently they have a good deal of luck because single parents are still getting married and finding a worthy mate. Your problem is you assume that there is only one type of single parent.
“But women who have not yet made the bad choice to lay down without protection with men who are not their husbands can be prevented from doing so in the future if they understand the severe negative consequences of it.”—Yet people have been preaching this same rhetoric for years and it has amounted to what? While I do not agree with you on having kids out of wedlock, what you or I may see as negative consequences others do not. I will not chastise them for it, but help them do better.
“The world is about choices. Cause and effect. The wheel of karma.”—Yes, the world is full of choices and people are going to make choices whether you or I like it or not, so when those choices are made…the next step is to find solutions to having happy healthy human beings (kids).
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“What makes you think that they’ll save black women and their poor decision making!?”—I don’t need them to save me. Luckily for me I can save my damn self. Can you say the same?
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THE TRUTH HURT! If what he was saying was false then he would be ignored. He also backing it up with news clips and video showing the very behavior he is talking about ( dispute that). BOTTOM LINE, the world is sick and tired of the angry black woman and you being called out. DEAL WIT IT!
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In my world he is ignored but for every clip he puts up I can make one of the opposite. Heck I can look in the mirror and see the opposite. Go out of my house and make a few clips of my own of the opposite. Of all the videos he shows they still don’t prove what he says as the majority of black women. Now put that in your pipe and smoke it.
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MyDaddySon
Some people with microphones and cameras say a bunch of outright lies and half truths. Yet, they get a lot of people listening to them. Why do you think Fox News is still on the air?
News clips and video doesn’t prove that most black women exhibit this kind of behavior, but some people will see them and apply as such. Why? Because there are people who will turn those black women in representatives of the whole group, people who are not too bright to see them as individuals.
The bottom BOTTOM line is the world is indeed sick. Period. And it’s not because of “angry black women.”
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@Sharina. Make the clips! Don’t talk about it, be about it. Dispute what he saying by showing the opposite. If u do that, I will be the first in line to see and I will say ” I’m sorry”. If not, then shut up and take it! A real woman wouldn’t have open her mouth because she would know that she is not being talked about
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@ brothawolf
Thank u brotha for defending us. This is where we need to uplift the positive good black brothas and sistahs and ignore the ones who aren’t. Everybody that is black is not my brotha or my sister.
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@ MyDaddyson
Maybe you are delusional on what a real woman is but here is a clue….She doesn’t sit and let some moron try to dwngrade women whether she is being talked about or not. Those videos are everywhere i don’t need to make one to show the opposite. You just got to get off your sorry behind and search for it. Google was invented just for that. When I return home I will give you a lesson in how to use it since you lack that ability.
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@Peanut I think he’s exactly like that, and a silent supporter at the very least. Look how he easily proclaims his sexism. He feels free to admit it because its not something society requires him to change. He’s in a position of power with it and like all Black men will hold onto it. Some might pay lip service (and most won’t even do that) but at the end of the day what they really want is for you to play watch dog for them when they are attacked, knowing full well they don’t really care about what you’re going through as a Black woman.
@abagond how many self proclaimed misandrists do you encourage Black men to patronize with readership/viewership?
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Sharina: “I agree and no doubt these questions must be asked, but their is a right way and a wrong way to go about that and often times if you take the wrong way you will not be guiding them to betterment but walking them to self destruction.”
– I’m not taking the wrong way nor am I walking anyone to self destruction.
“Apparently they have a good deal of luck because single parents are still getting married and finding a worthy mate
– Some are.
” Your problem is you assume that there is only one type of single parent.”
– No. I was speaking above to a particular kind.
‘Yet people have been preaching this same rhetoric for years and it has amounted to what?”
– Well, amongst people who heed the “preaching” it results in screening, testing and vetting potential future mates and fathers of offspring, marrying the ones that pass the tests, and having children and functional families.
There are plenty of people who who follow the above script. Their family culture or wider culture often has an element of “shame” to it. They understand that it is shameful to have sex with someone based solely on sexual attraction alone, character be damned. And they understand that it is shameful to bring a child into the world fathered by a man who not only is not their husband, but is irresponsible and characterless to boot!
They’ve understood these things because either their families or their wider culture, but often both, have taught them this.
” While I do not agree with you on having kids out of wedlock, what you or I may see as negative consequences others do not. I will not chastise them for it, but help them do better.”
– Fair enough. How do you help them do better?
“Yes, the world is full of choices and people are going to make choices whether you or I like it or not, so when those choices are made…the next step is to find solutions to having happy healthy human beings (kids).”
– Well, once the bad choices are made, those individuals have no other option than to find a solution to their mistakes. It is certainly not my personal responsibility to find them a solution.
However what I can do is share these ideas with girls and young women who may not have been taught these things from their family or culture BEFORE they become sexually active.
That much I can do.
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@ mstoogood4yall
That is because brothawolf has proven time and time again to be a man. We are sadly arguing with some boys in here.
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@ Why?
” I’m not taking the wrong way nor am I walking anyone to self destruction.”—And this statement is where we as people start to put our blinders on. We think in our minds that we are not doing something and what we are actually doing is the opposite.
” Some are.”—Maybe to you but it goes back to what I have asked you before. How are you declaring some? I have seen it happen quite a bit recently, but that is just my experience.
” No. I was speaking above to a particular kind.”—Fair enough and I don’t dispute those kind one bit.
“There are plenty of people who who follow the above script. Their family culture or wider culture often has an element of “shame” to it. They understand that it is shameful to have sex with someone based solely on sexual attraction alone, character be damned. And they understand that it is shameful to bring a child into the world fathered by a man who not only is not their husband, but is irresponsible and characterless to boot! “—-I don’t disagree, but it still does not change the amount that have still made the choice to go in the opposite direction. Heck I know women that have known this from the jump but are still single parents. So like I said before…..Yet people have been preaching this same rhetoric for years and it has amounted to what? Some people don’t listen because they don’t want to or either they think they are immune.
“Fair enough. How do you help them do better?”—I am working with a single parent now and I will use her as an example. For starters by being an example. What better than seeing someone be better. Offer friendly advice. Don’t go in with the shame tactics because it only distance them. Try to work with them on a friend level. The family proclamation is a part of our church and its principles so it is also something she will learn, but when you think of it it is really more teaching them the right.
” Well, once the bad choices are made, those individuals have no other option than to find a solution to their mistakes. It is certainly not my personal responsibility to find them a solution.”—You would think but not always the case sadly. The way i see it is if you have the time and energy to chastise then you have the same time and energy to offer a solution or advice. Not saying that to be mean but repeating what was said to me once (oh yeah! I was as hardcore as you once:))
“However what I can do is share these ideas with girls and young women who may not have been taught these things from their family or culture BEFORE they become sexually active.
That much I can do.—–Fair enough and it is really all anyone can honestly ask to be done. For those that have made their bed…I want to help, but I am aware that I am limited (was told I need to set limits as people take advantage if I don’t)
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And Why….I agree with you on a lot even if it seems like I am being hard.
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@ MyDaddySon
If you open Google and type in successful black women I am sure it can help open your eyes to the success of black women. Just one proof that all women are not the way Tommy portrays them.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65Z0cNKDAoI&feature=share&list=FLCCL7d8NSJjBZ4NypJLFKZQ🙂
Now does this woman look loud? Does she look ignorant? Heck if you actually search youtube you will find other videos like this, but like one commenter said on another blog. It is easy to find videos of the bad, but the good is carefully hidden. This is one of several I found of black women being the opposite.
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Abagond not sure if I added the video correctly but if not sorry. If you don’t want it in this thread then let me know.
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” Some are.”—Maybe to you but it goes back to what I have asked you before. How are you declaring some? I have seen it happen quite a bit recently, but that is just my experience.”
I’ve seen it happen but in most of the cases I’ve seen that step-father or step-mother relationship has not been healthy for the children.
“The way i see it is if you have the time and energy to chastise then you have the same time and energy to offer a solution or advice.”
I offered my advice to single parents: Don’t date! In many cases it is not good for the kids.
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@ Why?
Fair enough. 🙂
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@ Brothawolf
Thank you and thank any other men in the room who stood up for black women. You are appreciated and the reason why I will continue to fight for those good black men out there.
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Does anyone remember Blaque Indigo?
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@Abagond
You comment policy says:
“Moderation: Comments get thrown to moderation if they:
1. Have more than two links.
2. Use a moderated word: bitch, boy, chink, cock, cracker, cunt, dick, fuck, gook, gorilla, honky, idiot, jigaboo, kaffir, motherfucker, nazi, nigga, nigger, piss, pussy, shit, skinhead, spic, tits, whiteboy, whitey and any form of these words.
I reserve the right to delete comments that are:
• ad hominem attacks or name calling”
_____________________
Satanforces comment is in violaton of you comment policy. It includes a form of the word gorilla, “simian”:
“The insanity of a black woman is like a time bomb. You will be with her for some time, being all happy and whatnot, the BAM!!! She flips out on you!!!. The BWE’s timebomb is even worse, it is triggered by the their self-realization of their own physical unattractiveness, obesity, overly dark complexion, simian facial features and the fact that most mixed/light-skinned women are FAR superior to them physically, intellectually and socially. ”
______________________
Vindicator also violates your comment policy by calling commentors on this thread Ghetto Gaggers:
“I see we have 2 BWE acolytes/Ghettogaggers in the mist of this thread”
__________________
Since these comments were posted I’m guessing that you are backsliding on your new found awareness of your sexism. If a white troll made such comments you would have never posted them. Tell the truth, when you read Satanforce’s comment did you chuckle inside? You have learned a lot about yourself as a result of this post on Tommy Sotomayor. O.K, so you do not occupy as much moral high ground you thought you did. You need to decide whether you want to kick us (black women) or hug us. Just do better. There is nothing easy about being an ally to a group of people you have been told are worthless your entire life.
_________________________
@Satanforce
Question: Why do black men carry salt in their back pockets?
Answer: in case they happen to come across a black woman that has wounds.
Stay classy Satanforce
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@ Why
I will be honest in saying I am unaware of the individual.
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We’re still taking the ‘beg the Black man to see the error in his ways’ even when he’s openly showing you its not his concern approach, eh?
OK, Black woman. Whatever.
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@Sharina
That one female ( youtube link) doesn’t change anything, a search on youtube of successful women doesn’t change anything either. The beauty of all this is alot of black women are being exposed for what they really are about and they are so far gone that the damage control is not working. Olivia Pope couldn’t save you right now.
@Brothawolf
You going down with them. You not part of the solution, you part of the problem because you not man enough to stand up. Instead you wanna be captain-save-a-ho , who they clown as soon as you not around.
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For those of you that have twitter, go to your search and type “Black girls” every so often and see what comes up. See all the hatred your Black male “allies” fling at you and all that look like you unwarranted and unrelenting day and night. And who is seeing those tweets? EVERYONE. Which is purposeful on their part, because they want to break down Black women in a public matter, to destroy her image so all the rest of the world can surely view her with similar hatred. But the worst of it all, a lot of teenage Black girls are reading it. In the most self conscious, confusing part of their lives, they are having to defend their very right to exist without ridicule against klansmen in Black skin.
Keep begging though.
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@ Pinkmatter
What is it that you’re advocating?
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@ MyDaddySon
I guess you missed that part where I said……”Heck if you actually search youtube you will find other videos like this” but true to the nature of your kind you were too sorry to look it up. I guess if you continue to believe that the majority of black women are what Tommy says then you might feel better about yourself. In the time it took me to find that video I actually found 6 more of successful black women with sense. Took me a total of 2 mins. Do you know why I found them? because I looked for them. Do you know why you can’t find them? because you are not looking for them.
So the only thing that has been exposed is you. Now you go look for that imaginary Olivia pope and while you are at it look up the real life black woman that she actually portrays.
While you are at it enjoy these two videos on me.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcAyhtMcKgQ&feature=share&list=FLCCL7d8NSJjBZ4NypJLFKZQ)
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzQ0EWO4FFU&feature=share&list=FLCCL7d8NSJjBZ4NypJLFKZQ)
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@abagond, @pinkmatter
I submitted a comment on Sunday to Pinkmatter it was never posted?
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@ MyDaddySon
My comment is in moderation due to other videos.
“That one female ( youtube link) doesn’t change anything, a search on youtube of successful women doesn’t change anything either. “—I never said search youtube but google. Does the word google look like youtube? I think not.
Here is the beauty of all this……What tommy says and his videos still are not portraying the majority of black women. Sadly you don’t get this or just can’t get this. If Tommy showed six videos then all I have to do is find six videos and it cancels his theory out and dear I have 11 videos in my arsenal already. Here is more proof that the black woman is doing nothing. LOL
http://www.jbhe.com/news_views/51_gendergap_universities.html
I can do this all day but I rather you save what little bit of manhood…excuse me boyhood you have left and scurry under that rock you jumped out of or not. My case was proven before it began, so you can continue to believe as you choose.
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@ The Alchemist
I deleted the Vindicator comment as mere name calling. My mistake.
As to Satanforce – and Herneith – I generally give them a little more leeway since they have a sense of humour based on mocking people. In this case I understand him to be mocking BWE self-hatred by making it look ridiculous, not to be expressing his own honest opinion of their looks.
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idk who the heck blaque indigo is i just looked her up and i saw a vid of her saying how she made a naked vid for her bf and it leaked. That is all i see about her.
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@ mstoogood4yall
hmmm..I wonder how it leaked. LOL
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@ MyDaddySon
This is one of the main flaws in Sotomayor’s style of thinking. There is a name in psychology for it: confirmation bias. He cherry picks his data to support what he wants to believe anyway:
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@ sharina
In the vid on youtube she said her bf email account was hacked, and how she found out was that the person that hacked his account forwarded it everyone on the contact list including her. Other than that idk much about her or why she is kinda popular.
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@ mstoogood4yall
If she knew what I know. Never save and or put anything on a computer. Way too risky. She should have went old school and put it on vhs. LOL
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@Sharina
If your case was proven then you wouldn’t have replied to my first message
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@ “King”
I am advocating Black women focusing on themselves and improving our own situation without regard for anyone else’s INCLUDING Black men. Every other group has all proven to not only not be allies of Black women, but predators and opportunists of us.
The reason I focus on Black men is because this is the last string Black women are holding onto for no good reason. They see the evil in whites, they see the lack of empathy in all other races, but still despite the blatant displays of the same behavior or even worse for Black men, they hang on to a lost cause, and lose more of their value and self respect by doing so.
I advocate No more begging Black men to protect us, being overly concerned with their issues, wishing hoping praying they’ll value us the way they value non-Black women, wishing hoping praying they’ll even stop attacking us and our self worth publicly, or that any other Black men will stand up to speak against those who do. I advocate to just stop relying on the fairytale that Black men did or ever will give a shit about the Black female experience all together. It is a lie and a fallacy. They have shown and continue to show in every way they don’t, and it makes me ill that Black women still pine for it and degrade themselves like this–returning Black men’s poison with love.
This invisible community that Black women keep wanting to build up and contribute to is honestly already only full of Black women anyway. We are the ones who by and large put in all the footwork as it is, and do so alone. Holding up the weight of the “community” on your shoulders while being dragged down and having mud kicked in your face by the very people who benefit from your martyrdom the most (Black men) is NO WAY TO LIVE and definitely NO WAY TO FIND HAPPINESS/PEACE.
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@abagond
I live in the everyday world and I see what he is saying. Forget the videos, I see it! I saw it and spoke on it before I knew anything about Tommy. I’m black, I grew up in a black neighborhood, attended a mostly black HS, graduated from a black college and I’m employed by one the biggest companies in the world. Translation, I been surrounded by black women my whole life and alot of them are living foul. If they would be more honest about their faults then I would shut up but as long as they wanna put real black men down and run around with someone else hair on their head talking about they a queen then I’m standing up. I will say that there are some good ones left but not many. When women put bad black men (thugs, players) on blast, I agree but when someone puts bad black women on blast, people get bother. Why is that?
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MyDaddySon
“Instead you wanna be captain-save-a-ho , who they clown as soon as you not around.”
That’s the same thing I thought. They keep a man like him around like a little doggy on a leash. They’d give it to a ssahole before they’d give it to him. Cuz women don’t respect a man who kiss their ssa.
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@Mr Piggle-Wiggle
Exactly
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That BB&W article about Kerry Washington was written by Jamila Akil who Obsidian used to bait, berate and try to defeat in debate over at his blog.
Has Obsidian ever poked his head in ’round these parts?
Dead beat baby daddies, abusive boyfriends, men using women for money or a place to “chill” would all disappear within 5 years tops if women would just establish some dating/mating standards and ethics and stick to those standards and ethics come what may.
A woman with standards and ethics will create an energy field around herself which will only attract other people of similar standards and ethics. (The Law of Attraction in action).
Dead beats and cheats will not exist in her universe. If all women did this, the dead beat gene pool could die out in one generation.
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(http://youtu.be/KxCpVnHuJe8)
This s what I’ve been saying all along about the white gay community, saying, “Gay is the new black”. Stop comparing our struggle with yours, it’s not the same and it’s an insult to every black person.
Whites have long used our struggle as a way to garner, sympathy from the black community and when they get what they want, they gone!
Every other racial group, gets their agenda for filled. Gay community with Doma and Latino community with immigration reform.
What about the black agenda? Oh yeah, we got section 5 of the voter rights act, struck down. Affirmative action is next! Watch the video and you will see how tommy is making sense in this video.
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@Why?
You are right about women needing to establish some dating/mating standards. Also, good black men need to do the same and really stick to it and stop allowing bad women into his life because he believes that she will change because she now dealing with a good man. For the good brothers, date good women. By good I mean a women that has the same high morals as you and if you see that she is faking, walk away. Don’t wait around for her to get right or you will be waiting forever. We as men need to make some hard decision if we want to do the right thing. Don’t let these women brainwash you into thinking its all about them. We are the only race of people that are lead by our women and look where it has put us in terms of family in this country, dead last. The first family may be black but it fall off bad after them.
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@ pinkmatter
I can’t argue with much of what you say.
Black women not only have to deal with racism but sexism as well.
However, there are no monoliths, just individuals. There are plenty of good and bad in both Black men and women, just like in every ethnicity, I’ll warrant.
I hope you can also advocate for reconciliation, restoration and peace.
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Why,
The women who don’t have whatever standards you think will manifest this outcome of virtuous men are products of the same environment that produces these men.
This same environment, one in which women are responsible not only for their own behavior but the behavior of men who have much more power than they do, is what you are advocating. It’s the current state of affairs. It is what produces men who don’t feel responsible for their children or themselves. It produces women who rebel against those standards or laws, because you can’t have law when it doesn’t apply equally to everyone.
The discussion shouldn’t be about what black men need to do or what black women need to do. It should be about what those of us who are aware need to do, regardless of gender. They are your allies. Not women, not men, not blacks, not whites. It is those who are ready and willing to do the work. The work being creating an equal and just society.
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Quoted for Truth!
Bravo!
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@ King and Solesearch
I second that.
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@ MyDaddySon
Wrong! My replying or not replying is not an indication that it was proven or not. Me replying was because I wanted to. I am no fan of people trying to claim what the majority of black men or women are doing. Especially if they are taking cues from youtube videos.
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Even more so the idea that anyone in this room knows the majority is absurd. It is flawed reasoning. Putting on the woe is me story won’t make it more reasonable.
@ Mr Piggle-Wiggle
“Cuz women don’t respect a man who kiss their ssa.”—Surprisingly something we can agree on, but still amazes me that you believe you know the minds of “all” women.
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Now the reason I agree is because I have witnessed women who are given too much of a pass take advantage of it and loose respect for their man, but what brothawolf did I do not consider kissing azz. I consider it standing up for a wrong. In doing that I have to respect him. I do respect him. His words were very true.
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“Dead beat baby daddies, abusive boyfriends, men using women for money or a place to “chill” would all disappear within 5 years tops if women would just establish some dating/mating standards and ethics and stick to those standards and ethics come what may.”
No there would be more rape.
@Vindicator may the violence and destruction that you speak and wish on me and other black women visit you.Unlike you I don’t do threats but I curse often.
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@pink matter said “I advocate to just stop relying on the fairytale that Black men did or ever will give a shit about the Black female experience all together. It is a lie and a fallacy.”
Agree.Black women and girls should just move on and pay no mind at all to black men collectively.Only those that are valuable to them.
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@misstoogoodforyall Blaque Indigo is a black woman who agreed with the hatred and vitriol from black men like TS and SWP.She was in the Amen choir.She was a sister soldier/special snowflake just like Lavern.Her past caught up to her when it was found out that while she was dogging other black women for being gold diggers, and every other bad thing in the book,she allowed a white man to put his penis in her face for money ON TAPE.She also had a sex tape leak on the internet.
She seemed to desperately want the love and validation of black men who were damaged beyond repair just as she is.She wanted this love and validation to the point of throwing other black women and girls under the bus.
Apparently she now is a stripper and she also does porn.
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Jesus Christ, not this good black man vs bad black man bullshit. We always seem to get one or two of these nerds/geeks/socially awkward wierdoes whenever these discussions come about. These guys have managed to subsist their inability to get pussy into the greater Afro-American social narrative by saying that the problems with the Afro-American community is because black women have sex with “thugs” and not good guys like them. No. bredda, the reason you can’t get laid is not because of other men, but because you are lame!!
I’d say that black women have the advantage of the state behind them. I have seen enough cases of black men, here and abroad being made to pay child support for children that are not theirs, being made to leave their own homes and leave their babymothers in it , and being denied DNA tests for children that are obviously not theirs. All a black woman need do is threaten to call the police enough times to condition her man like Pavlov’s dog.
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@ mstoogood4yall
Now, I know that trolling a topic as sensitive as this one can give us a lot of LULZ – believe me, I’ve been getting LULZ from this comments section since it was posted. But the simple fact that you would troll us with Thug Hunter gayness, goes beyond mere trolling and reaches pure evil. How could you be so wicked? I put thug hunter into my Google (added -holyland of course. Awesome manga), expecting to get some MILF white ladies going into the ghetto and sexing thugs a la MILFs Like it Black and Exploited Moms. How wrong I was. How wrong I was.
I’m sorry, but even trolling has standards, standards that you have just violated. I have been speaking to Abagond via e-mail, and I feel reasonably certain that we wont be seeing much of you any longer………
@moodscope
You poor sad obese creature sitting all alone on your floor stealing your neighbour’s wireless while your 4 nappy headed children run around you. You think the white man is going to save you from your mess? I see you are fascinated with Ghetto Gaggers. This is no surprise, as most of you BWE types interpret the abuse that the white man delivers onto you as love. Just look at how quickly you defended the makers of Ghetto Gaggers, while calling me and Vindicator ‘black boys.’ Pathetic. If that is type of attention that you seek from white men , great. Continue to enjoy your Ghetto Gagger DVDs. Noone here will miss you.
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@Truth P
You know what I agree with that. There is no sense in paying any attention to black men that can not value women.
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satanforce,
It seems like you are saying the current child support system is unjust and broken, but somehow women are supposed to use it to control men and get them to take care of their children, although the children aren’t really theirs.
Is that it?
I will say this, the state is ran by men. The rules are made by men. They reflect the values and desires of men. A system in which a man sole responsibility to his children is financial is pretty much inline with age old gender roles.
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@satanforce
LMAO, you can see me? I’m a nerd/geek, cool. I’ll take nerd. I think nerds are cool but in the black community that is looked down on cause the women want a roughneck. If someone makes vaild points, what difference should it make what they are. To say I didn’t get any is funny considering how easy it is to sleep with black women and before someone get mad, look at all these women with multiple kids by different men and never been married. If i didn’t get any from them, that wouldn’t be a bad thing, lol. Thank you for the nerd comment, its better than being called prettyboy and labeled a playa based on my facial features and height, which I been hearing all my life. Its cool to be recognized for my brain for a change. 🙂
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@ MyDaddySon
Wow. This is just messed up. Please tell us how you account for the fact that your idea of black people is little different than that of white people who get most of their ideas about blacks from television. Even most white commenters on this blog show more nuance and real-world thinking than you do.
Your endorsement of Sotomayor is pretty damning (for Sotomayor, not you).
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@ satanforce
Rofl. i told u to search for it at ur own risk and i even said what it was about. when i heard about it i thought it was going to be about someone going after black men with violence or something. I wish i hadn’t looked either, but at least we see what kind of sick ppl put this stuff out there. ANd we see how they degrade black men and women with this mess. U think that is bad, well just look up buck breaking, it was what white men did to black males during slavery, so thug hunter is basically the modern version of that except these men are willing smh,
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@ peanut
U forgot brothawolf, i think he was the first man to speak up and say something. Yeah blaming each other doesn’t help, but i do see the hypocrisy, of how some black men will point out what some black women do and be like sistahs yall need to call these women out. But they don’t do the same to the black men that say some crazy sheit. I’ve been calling out these ppl that come on here and make broad generalizations about black men, even when sometimes i sense they may be a troll so the brothas know where i stand. BUt i’m also in favor of ignoring these types, and only talking to the conscious positive black ppl on here which is why i don’t respond to certain commenters on here.
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@ mstoogood4yall
That is what I need to start doing.
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@ the lovely women of this blog space
I called it very early that it would be a thread that would be filled with BW bashing trolls. I enjoy the commentary by enlightened folks and (you all know who you are) the rest, I too put on IGNORE mode. *almost like a 2yr old having a tantrum, if you don’t give into their tantrum they eventually fall down from exhaustion and nap* 😆
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@ sharina
yeah, it is good to ignore some ppl, As black women sometimes we get baited and ppl want a reaction out of us so they can say see i knew yall were angry and bitter black women, i don’t want to give them the satisfaction. I know it sucks but as women we deal with the added sexism. BLack men don’t like to be baited into a fight and things then they are the ones getting arrested and going to jail. i saw 2 vids of a gay guy spititing in a black mans face, in one vid the black man pushed him in response and was arrested, the gay white guy got to walk away. In another vid the gay white guy spit in a brothas face and the brotha didn’t do anything, and wasn’t arrested. Sometimes we just gotta choose our battles so we can fight another day. Most of it is just white noise and needs to be on mute because its just a distraction.
so anyway how are u doing today sistah?
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@abagond
i could care less about how another race comments compares to what i say whether they agree or disagree. All our community does is put down the man and as soon as you hold the woman to the fire its bashing. Whatever I say or anyone else making sense, it will be made a mockery of. Go ahead and live your lies, its the american way but when the boat sink, I won’t be on it.
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@ mstoogood4yall
I’m good and you? Did you enjoy your vacation.
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@ sharina
yes i enjoyed my vacation thanks for asking, i observed some interesting things while there. and it was good to go somewhere where it was a lot of ppl that look like me. It was great seeing my grandmother and her crazy ass dog and my little cousins are getting so big. The food was great too.
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I take up for the real black women. Not the ones spending 9 billion a year to look like someone else. Not the ones thats whoring or bashing real men out here. The truth of the matter is some of us have sold out and don’t know it or don’t wanna come to grips with our choices. Which is cool with me, I just like picking at bullies. I’m on the right side of the fence and now I’m about to sit back and watch.
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@ peanut
That is good, i feel we should not waste our time arguing with men, let another man correct the other males. If they do great, if they don’t fine, that is not my problem. IF they feel it isn’t their problem to correct them then it sure as hell isn’t my problem either. men are to teach the young men how to be men. That is not our issue, our issue is to look after each other and nurture the coming generation of girls.
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@ MyDaddySon
I will make this my very last comment to you. You are not taking up for real women and considering how you went about it I would not want any man like you taking up for me. So you can save the greater good bs.
I don’t like things about certain people but I would never jump on the bandwagon to disrespect them. Something I was taught by some REAL men. It would be disrespect to myself to even utter and give praise to such foul wording as b*tch wh*re or whatever disgusting words people come up with these days. One can not say they respect women and then turn around and disrespect another.
Any woman with a man like that needs to ask the question…”how long before he disrespects me?” You do what you do, but nothing you do or say will guilt me into seeing it your way.Hey I have been called a sell-out before so not like it is the death of me.
I’m done
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@ Peanut
Thank you!
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I never thought this thread would go on for so long. It took one black woman and one black man to get me. How could I look at any of those and think less than other. One would have to hate themselves to the core to do it. One would have to disrespect their ancestors to do it. One would have to have lost their mind to do. I have not said a lot because I know anything less than brilliant, sexy, a wholeness is a lie and is rot to your soul. Black women create beautiful people no matter where they are how dark or light they may be. All this bashing is just mud and black women are stronger than it. Maybe history has lost the songs that were song about your beauty but it has never been forgotten. Nor the fact that Alexander halted, Portugal had to stoop low to win, and that is just a few of the minds that brighten our history. If a black women feels to her core that she is sexy, beautiful, and desirable then she is. The universe itself has to been over backwards to try an make her not.
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Ah, Satanforce (LOL! Such a bad name! Scary! LOLOLOLOL!!!)
Such a hurt widdle doggie!
I have no children, and given the messed up mentality of the lot of you, I’ve chosen to not do so. Best decision EVER!
Wow, how did it feel to call me ‘nappy head?’ I’m black and I love my hair, and every style I choose to wear with it. Your point?
I’m not nor will I ever obese (is that the best you can do? LOLOL!!!). My body is on point, so don’cha worry about my health 🙂 You’ll never have the pleasure of seeing such ebony perfection, but I digress…
You brought up the subject of GG again. Dang, do you and the other bitter black males have viewing parties for these things? You all seem to love to bring it up when your little peenie-weenie manhood gets rattled by an evil black woman such as myself.
*sigh*
Bitter black dudes like you make me laugh.
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I bashed Robin Givens because she is an opportunist little jerk looking for attention by whining about a man she was DUMPED by years ago! Her being a black woman doesn’t make her any less pathetic nor does it absolve any of you from criticism. The problem is that many black women like the ones here are so damn arrogant that you flat out REFUSE to acknowlegde any faults or flaws. Then continually play the victim as if being marginalized makes you magically incapable of any accountability for the part you play in the problems with the black community. You have this idealogy that your s**t don’t stink while you play ‘woe is me’ in some real-life perpetual Toni Morrison novel. Making heroes out of people like Oprah who has proven time again the she herself doesn’t give a crap about black women. or acting as if any criticism no matter how constructive is an attack on the already laid bare helpless black female psyche. Give me a damn break! You are not helpless denizens with the forever evil black male cabal out to get you. There are some problems black women face that you bring completely on yourselves but you are too busy getting defensive as if you should never face critcism.
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Damn Abagond,
Your posts on Black women never fail to attract the psychos…
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@ Lavern
” Her being a black woman doesn’t make her any less pathetic nor does it absolve any of you from criticism.”—Honey if any one feels that are absolved of criticism it is you.
I just pointed out one of your faults and instead of accepting them as you claim many should you are ready to go on the defense. Ignoring yours and pointing out others does not by any means put you on a higher pedestal. This category you claim others are in so are you.
No one (and like i said quote one that has) said black women do not have faults. It is just you and your psycho babel that seem to believe that, but faults of those black women should not be faults of all black women. All black women should not be made to suffer and be treated like crap for others.
So before you started telling me what I think believe and etc. Check yourself or actually read what I actually said.
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I find it interesting that Black women are all these horrible things–according to Black people…*coughs* Vindicator and *coughs* Lavern,
but, it was a Black woman who ranked #1 on Granta’s “The Thinking Man’s Sex Symbol”.
So much for those overweight, don’t-need-no-man, ghetto, piss colored weave wearing mamas.
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Granta is a literary mag published in the U.K.
Every year they have a popularity contest in which they rank 10 women as the sexiest women based on not only good looks, but academic, political or literary accomplishments. The women usually have characteristic that only “thinking” or intellectual minded men would find attractive.
Zadie Smith has made the list twice and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has made the list once.
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Oh, and i think Chike Unigwe–a Nigerian writer based in Antwerp is set to make the list soon.
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Zadie Smith…they noted her love of hip-hop and simplistic way of dress.
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TOMMY SOTOMAYOR IS THE KING OF YOUTUBE AND IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH UR GAY!
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Such adult like behavior. Lol.
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Peanut,
I accept your apology. Thank you! I also apologize if what I said seemed like derailing.
The following isn’t toward you, Peanut. We’re cool. It explains why I speak out on what I see being done often.
But, I have to speak out against this because it is just as toxic as Tommy’s or anyone else who may be divisive. I feel that a lot of times, light skinned (particularly women) seem to be the scapegoat for something that they did not create. People (particularly women) lash out at them because they are thought to have some sort of privilege and because, honestly, it may make them feel better.
Logically and morally, that is wrong.
It is the equivalent bashing tall men for having more advantages. Or going to a shop and getting irate and lashing out at the sales clerk because that store franchise doesn’t carry a certain item. Why lash at the sales clerk? It may make you temporarily better, but doesn’t insight change. They have nothing to do with that. If you want change, go to the real source.
That is what I see being done in our own community. Also, most often, when I have witnessed darker skinned people being bashed, it is by dark people. People in their own families. That is just as wrong.
There was an article today stating that we are in a new era of Civil Rights. We are not the same caliber of people they were during the Civil Rights of the ’60′s. They were more united. They were not preoccupied with this dark-skinned/light skinned issue. Who likes what type of woman more. Which group ages fastest or is most desired. They were on a mission. We cannot win in this day and age without unity.
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Abagond,
I request that you add the term “high yella” as in “high yella tears” to the list of offensive terms. That is the equivalent to jig@@. It is also meant to be very hurtful.
Thank you!
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@ALL
After putting two and two together; Lavern is probably a poster by the name of Lavern Merriweather who writes numerous guest posts for Brothawolf ALL dealing with how white men have kept Black men from white women–i mean every single post it writes is about that. Hence why he or she is discrediting Black women on this thread because the “logic” is we are in kahoots with white men to keep BM/ww apart.
For the life of me–i can’t figure why Brothawolf can’t see through the smokescreen of that white people obsessed poster…
Word to the Wise:
Many Black people–especially Black men have been lead to believe that they were truly kept from white women and this was not the big picture nor was it based on any real facts. Black men throughout much of our history here in America slept with, married and procreated with white women (both here in the States and overseas during both World Wars). The only thing was that after Reconstruction–he could not have an “open” relationship with white women (meaning oh yes–he could be with her behind closed doors). Ya see, white people have a LONG history of secret sexual liaisons between themselves and other people that was just not talked about.
You would be an absolute fool to believe that the mixed raced Black children in this country during Reconstruction, and Jim Crow were ONLY the product of BW/wm
Besides this, most documented lynchings of Black men had nothing to do with Black men being perceived to go after white women. They had to do with white people (both men and women) being threatened of the economic and educational advances of these Black men and their communities. Don’t believe me: “100 Years of Lynching” by Ralph Ginzburg. In many cases, the victims of the lynchings were just randomly selected to set an example to the community of uppity Black women and Black men who no longer needed to sharecrop for white farmers.
And one thing that almost ALWAYS gets overlooked by people who want to have a selective memory as Ginzburg points out is that MANY Black men were lynched trying to protect the honor of their Black wives, lovers, sisters and other Black women in their communities.
If anyone needs me to provide links and articles, i will be most happy to do so.
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phoebeprunelle:
Please provide links…educate a brotha. ^_^
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Randomly, I dipped into this thread because I liked the name “Sotomayor”, I recall watching a handsome Cuban long-jumper with that name, but had never heard of this character, Tommy.
This is one of those threads I cannot believe.
There are more than 500 comments here, but I stopped at the 3rd one by Lifelearner, which says…
The door is always open here for bullying, too, even if it is not said directly, or implied — it will be endorsed.
Neither, do I understand Abagond’s association of the word “intelligent” with the entity “Tommy Sotomayor”.
A magnetic vocal delivery is not the same thing as being intelligent.
Having a good ranting voice doesn’t mean you are smart. A deep voice doesn’t mean you are an “authority” — it just SOUNDS like it should follow that way…
It is merely the triumph of style over content.
Reverence to male rightness, even though Sotomayor is blatantly ignorant as he is cruel.
I also cannot believe the juxtaposition of the BWE with Sotomayor either.
Is this mere ignorance on the part of the writer, or misogynistic double standards playing out here AGAIN and AGAIN?
This is almost like the way this blog’s Comment Policy is implemented.
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Hello Bulanik– your words are true.
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again it is a roughneck approach but it broaches a discussion of the underclass, that is the saving grace. Noone wants to admit the hood is full of young, mostly single people who have nothing to do and there’s no work, it is a piece that truly needs to be discussed
he seems to share the ‘anti-non-mainstream’ approach that would engender definition as a racist from a white person here, i guess call it self-hate? He does seem to focus in on black women, i am not sure what happened to make him feel that way, especially since his mom is (as he claims) rich and is financing him and buying him stuff, so who knows, man, that part is pretty hypocritical
there is no consistant viewpoint or approach, he wavers, and seems genuinely confused, like he just got out of jail or something maybe …
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@ temple, thank you.
I am late to the party of course, out of touch here, and totally behind with reading up on what others have said here (lol), but I am coming close to a conclusion of my own, even though I shouldn’t be here…
I do not like bullies.
I do not care for the enablers of bullying and cultivators of bullying culture.
What I also believe there are many men who simply do not bully and harass others on the internet, and won’t stand for it when they see it.
Especially when harassment is directed at women because a clique of men think a woman is an “easy target”.
The example that follows is not IT precisely, the details are not the same, I know, but the the principle is not that different, and goes to show that there are ways of facing this and tackling the problem and treating women with decency.
Just compare:
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9rj3ahynFU)
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@ phoebeprunelle: Shut the front door. This is very weird and strange. Lavern,was getting very acerbic and I didn’t enjoy her post anymore. Stop commenting on them. Does Brotha Wolf know about this? Why is this crazy stuff happening?
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* I stopped commenting*
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Those posts became very hate filled with lots of profanity to boot. Very similar to Sotomayor’s style.
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@Sondis,
http://www.greatblacksinwax.org/Exhibits/lynching.htm…
What should be noted is that according to Black historians, rape used as an accusation towards Black men only happened one-third of the time–in other words; it was a very rare accusation. There were many white men who didn’t care if Black men had relations with white women because many of them were having relations with Black women. Fact. Yet it was about doing this in a way that upheld Jim Crow “etiquette”
There are more articles that i have read, i just can’t locate them all.
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it is a career with this guy he is becoming a public figure right in front of us it’s interesting
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Tommy, Love the fact that you speak your mind, but our issues are not race anymore, our issues in totality are morals. it does not matter if you are white, black, Chinese etc. we have a human compass that has gone badly off course in so many areas. American society is based on an education program of TV culture, the majority of us receive our core education and moral norms from this little/big screen. It offers the appearance of life in action, but the end result is an educational understanding of utter ignorance. I wonder if all the channels on that box 24 / 7 were about Love, charity, giving, compassion, humanity, humility, understanding, We would not be in a different world……But what do we have………Sex, rape, murder, deceit, endless violence, deception, envy, the list of human degradation goes on and on…………..Where is the change for the good? without it……….we will all go down together and destroy ourselves, this you can count on!
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No double standard. The Sotomayorians and the BWE are mirror images of each other. The BWE may be more polite, but their goal is the same, demonise the opposite gender of their own race while using non-whites of their opposite gender as a status symbol, and as a means to escape from the 99 percent to be one of the 1 percent.
My thoughts on their similarities are here:
Tell me, you see any of these BWE/Stomayorians types in the ghetto , actually helping the people they claim to care about? NOT!! They’re trying to get book/movie deal and making money from ads on their websites. The closest they come in contact with “those people” is on Skype – far away from the stench of the poor.
Leave them to their interracial fantasies. They’re irrelevant.
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Satanforce, I have not yet read your blog before, but I shall visit it this month and have a proper read. Note though, that I take no relish in seeing black men denigrated and maligned, so if there is any of that slackness, I won’t be staying.
First, I have next to no interest or little knowledge of the BWE, I do not blame the BWE for black men’s outcomes.
In the meanwhile, I wonder why the person of Tommy Sotomayor is being married to the movement of BWE? What interests does that serve, because it strikes me that this false-twinning is a handy device, an instrument that is being used as a form of social and sexual control (of black women).
I’ve seen forms of it over and over.
Sometimes it’s subtle and sometimes it is unsubtle.
The fact is, there are ways to whip women into shape, and some — no, many — believe that black women (and girls) must be kept in place by a variety of methods, whether by persuasive emotive argument, shaming/appeal to pride and obligation and sense of leadership, etc., etc.. These are hardly “bad” things, but I am of the belief that it is more productive for the individual be disciplined to use her mind to form her own decision and make up her own mind.
Yet, reverse the situation (black women question and/or un-choose black men) and watch the rage unfold.
On occasion I’ve even sensed the implication of violence, or heard of its fulfillment — down the road. Note I said “on occasion”.
*
You mention the ghetto.
True, though, neither Mr Sotomayor or BWE care about poor people, they don’t want to be poor and probably aren’t poor themselves. But does that makes them mirror-images of each other?
Sir, I doubt if that is conviction enough.
If your locus is economics, then I’d say most people I know are self-interested and have no Vision For Humanity; they just avoid the stench of poverty if they can. It’s their worse-case scenario: they prefer sweet betterment of fortune and wealth accretion over social conscience and a Bigger Picture.
*
Nor is it a matter of one being merely more polite than the other! That is of course, unless you put Polite at one end and Racialized Gender Violence on the extreme other. That does happens, and who/what is responsible for that?
I was under the impression that bashing black women was not only so easy as to be banal sport, it is made flesh all too often abusive forms, harassment, battery, rape, death by partner abuse, and so on and on and all that.
Thus, I don’t believe this is a matter of style (Polite BWE) or degree (Grossly Impolite Tommy Sotomayor).
*
Do the BWE orchestrate hatred for the black man that fuels and informs devastating physical consequences and violations AT THE HANDS OF black women on black men? Are black women the enemy, chief life-takers of black men? I am sure you refer to the US context, and I can’t pretend to know that culture intimately. White surpremacy has and does play its part, but how much intellectual vigour does mere finger pointing take? There are other possible narratives, of course, based in rich spiritual and intellectual traditions.
I remember we discussed these and the need for them at least once before on other threads.
And finally:
But they couldn’t be anything but irrelevant.
For one, other people’s private lives hold no fascination for me, and being the offspring of highly multi-ethnic Jamaicans, “interracial” as fantasy or “aspiration” is like watching paint dry.
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@ peanut
I never heard his vids before but I did agree with some of what he was saying especially how they put unattractive black women to the forefront to represent us. Or how they were pushing gabby sidibe as an attractive black woman while not doing the same for very attractive black women like gabrielle union, viola davis, etc. I did turn it off it was too long and he started shouting a little too much lol.
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Seems to me that he came from a black woman. He probably hates himself.
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I think most people are missing the point, Firstly Tommy may say things that are relevant even if I do not agree, however he is a walking contradiction, he says one thing but means something else, for example.
• He bashes black women 24/7 and how white women are better and yet he has a child and even dates a black women. That’s like Hitler hating Jews but dating a Jewish woman
• So we all know Tommy loves white women right? He says it all the time right? Well in one video he criticises a black women for going up to a mixed couple and saying how their (as he calls them) ” Half Breed ” child was gorgeous, Tommy seemed genuinely pissed at the fact that the woman walked straight passed his children, Then proceeds to call mixed people ” Half Breeds “.
• Tommy hates black people moaning about slavery or how blacks are hard done by and regularly hits out out them claiming how its black people dragging black people down, and yet he makes videos about how ” Half Breeds ” get a leg up in life and how society loves ” Half Breeds ” and not blacks. I could go on and on, but my point is that Tommy is a hypocrite plain and simple, white women are the best but don’t date one and dont have babies because they will be half breeds, but don’t go with a black women because they are the worst. Tommy my friend… you are a walking contradiction and a moron
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He is a very angry Black man. He bashes Black Women…especially fat and dark ones because it makes him feel better. I think he hates being Black.
The insecure non-Black women that follow him, get off on his rants. He always makes an excuse for the Black Man’s plight. He is very hypocritical is steering Black folks in the wrong direction. We, Blacks need to learn to THINK for ourselves. Stop believing everything someone says and THINK logically about the issues. We need to stop making excuses for everything. Just do it!
He is also an attention whore. Bash someone else, because bashing Black women is getting old lbs.
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He is just as bad as Willie Lynch. Using colorism to separate the Black race. I however like the point he makes about BW needing to embrace their natural looks without weaves, but he needs to give that pep talk to other races of women.
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Abagond and followers, please share your thoughts on this: http://cinematicsymbolism.blogspot.com.br/2013/06/why-i-no-longer-listen-to-tommy_27.html
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Also this: http://mugshots.com/US-Counties/Georgia/Fulton-County-GA/Thomas-Jerome-Harris.20577163.html
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I think that Kelly Rowland is beautiful.
What I like most about her is her positive attitude. That makes her glow.
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gatasnegrasbrasileiras,
I found it funny that this person loved Tommy when he was only bashing black women, but when he discovered Tommy’s bashing of “black people” by which he means black men he had an epiphany that Tommy is a racist.
There was a hashtag being used on twitter that summed this up perfectly: #blackpowerisforblackmen
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That is disgusting, that guy only figured out tommy was bad news only when he started talking bad about black ppl and not just black women smh. I guess black women are separate from the black community, as they bash black women*crickets* then turn around and say oh no he said something about black ppl . like really I thought black women were black ppl but u weren’t upset about them being bashed only when it was other black ppl, meaning black males and black male youth. This why I don’t like divisive ppl like tommy, and u see who follows him a lot of white ppl follow tommy as well. man the hypocrites really get on my nerves, if someone is attacking black men or black women both should call that out, not only when it affects their gender smh. as for the blackpowerisforblackmen thing well that is exactly how it is, yet some of them stay talking about oh black women left the black power movement to be feminist well gee if a woman feels left out and unappreciated that is what we do, we leave. If u choose to ignore the signs after they tell u they need u to help and do xyz they will leave, what u won’t do somebody else will.
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There needs to be an examination of the matriarchal nature of Black American culture. Note the following articles by Black women:
http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2012/09/dear-black-men-its-time-for-you-to-step-up/
http://rollingout.com/culture/black-men-must-step-up-and-volunteer-to-save-young-black-boys/
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/30/AR2010013002120.html
What we read here, like so many other articles like them, is Black women sounding exactly like White male social conservatives lecturing men to man up and make themselves more useful. And just like White SoCons, the chastising is delivered with complete indifference to the struggles already hanging on the necks of Black men like anchors.
Slim Jackson even seems to surrender to the fact that Black men just don’t know what to do with themselves without say-so from a Black Woman.
I agree with nearly every word of Dr. Johnson’s article, and appreciate that he calls Black women to task on their attitudes toward Black men. But this seems to be attributed more to generational influence than to a core problem in the Black community.
I think that is a mistake.
Feminism, an ideology created by White middle class females with more time and money than responsibilities, was very attractive to Black women because feminism added to the already lopsided influence and control over men in their community that they already had.
To me, that means Black men must step up in the same way White men need to. They need to take control of their balls from feminine influence and begin to act in their own interest. The result of that will give their sons (and daughters) more of what they actually need, with no demeaning lecture from indignant and demanding Black women.
Paul Elam
http://www.avoiceformen.com/men/fathers/black-mans-burden-myth-of-the-deadbeat/
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No culture that EXISTS in the Western world can be defined as matriarchal. Every institution (educational, political, religious, legal systems) that is used and supported by Black people are ALL based on the values of men.
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Besides that,
why do some people focus on an entire group that they claim “emasculates” or “defeminizes” them?
Simple logic what be for them to just move on and choose an “out-group” that recognizes ALL of their masculine and feminine attributes.
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is it a ‘celebrity roast’ style that should be considered within boundaries particularly if sometimes in some context accurate or true? or stereotype he has been roasting us snowpeople lately too but only the ratchet ones
idk this guy has a crappy producer supposedly he’s takin calls tonight if he is being unfair to black women and the media in general
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Why do these spammers love to take over the whole page with long dialogues,when you can cut it down to 1 paragraph?
The only reason why Tommy doesn’t say anything about black men is because he knows if they see him on road,they will kick arse.
I agree with hair hat weaves,it looks stoopid,but don’t a lot of white women do stoopid things like risking cancer to get tan skin or put alien objects in the body to get a full look?
Black men are not the best when it comes to being a stable,secure model for their children,nor are they the best men as partners when they have so many women,with that said..can you blame the black women that do go white..especially if they treat them better.
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@Maxine
Tommy does talk about black men.
@everyone else
LMAO. If this guy is such a joke, why has this blog went on this long. People that are bogus don’t get this much attention. Tommy a real dude and is helping the black community. At some point you have ask are you part of the problem or part of the solution
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@MyDaddySon
A few posts here and there are not signs this post is still going on.
Secondly if he is making posts about black men then by all means post them. Youtube videos are welcome.
Thirdly articles among other things to show he is helping the black community can prove your points as well.
You are just another part of the problem with the delusion that you are the solution.
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@Sharina
Dude whats up 🙂 !! How did I know you were going to reply? Ask me if I care what you think. I do like that last line though because it shows your hatred for black men that stand up, which is exactly why what Tommy says is valid and needed. I agree, I’m part of the problem for going back and forth with the problem, YOU. I’m delusional but you reply everytime, So lets hear it, whats next?
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@ MyDaddySon
For someone who does not care…you wrote a paragraph just for little old me. but true to your nature…empty words no proof and full of that same old delusion. 🙂
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Oh and too those listening. I apparently have some hate for black men simply because I am not worshiping Tommy whatshisname. ROFL
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@ MyDaddySon
“I’m delusional but you reply everytime, So lets hear it, whats next?”—The reason I make the choice to respond or go back in forth with you is because there is nothing like comic relief to soothe the soul. You make it too easy so why not.
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Posted on Kola Boof ‘s page by a black woman, if a black man said the same they would be hell to pay.
JaeJae UppityN’HiFalutin Turner
I know I will be making biracial babies and I know I will not be reproducing blackness. We can not under any circumstances pretend that this is NOT what we are doing. However, I have no tribe and no male collective that is loyal to me therefore, I will breed out and sleep well. I adore all babies and black ones are my favs, but I’ll damned if I birth them into dysfunction. They don’t deserve. It
16 October at 05:07 this comment received 15 likes
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@ Holmes
There are black men who have been saying this and worse mind you. That is why you have some black women (who have heard it far too much) who have decided that such choices are the best.
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@Sharina,
Dang, not only did you dodge Holmes’s valid point, you offered an excuse for the noxious poster he quoted. Nice tit for tat spin job.
In any event, the TS types and the BWE folks are mostly idiots but, given the times we live in, can spend an inordinate amount of time nursing and rationalizing their mostly petty grievances.
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@ Ks
Don’t know why you are sniffing around my azz, but it was not a matter of dodging his point it was a matter of no longer caring what either party does or don’t do because at the end of the day they are going to do what they want. Are they or are they not?
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? instead of .
Anything else or other post you want to follow me around to just to comment on?
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Oh and one more thing. Holmes nicely quoted this:
” if a black man said the same they would be hell to pay.”—-Which is why I stated that they have and worse. So has there been hell to pay for those that said it?
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@Sharina,
Oh boo hoo. Nobody is following you. You were the last posts on the threads before I replied and I decided to do so. Big whoop. Overall, I’m hardly here as much as you are.
Your reply to Holmes was the schoolyard…”But, what about you/them!?” You just pointed the finger back in the other direction and then made an excuse. Has there been hell, to pay for the Black men who’ve made similar denigrating remarks about Black women? Since we’re on him, I’m pretty sure TS has been rightfully raked over the coals though he doesn’t appear to care.
We could probably go back and forth all day pulling links and, while I know in the internet era, there is a dubious correlation that says links=facts and more links=more facts, that would be pointless.
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@ ks
“Overall, I’m hardly here as much as you are.”—Really? and how much am I supposedly here? Since you know what I do and how much I tend to do it?
” You just pointed the finger back in the other direction and then made an excuse.”—Nope just replied in response to his obvious belief that some how hell will fall upon us if the statement was vise versa, but I get it. You are a mind reader who knows so much about what people mean in their statements.
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Almost forgot….
“Since we’re on him, I’m pretty sure TS has been rightfully raked over the coals though he doesn’t appear to care.”—While he is a nice example I was referring to the average black men that do it thank you.
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@ Sharina,
Yes really. I’m haven’t been here as much as you have. That’s what I said. You have many more posts than I do but I’m not going to count them. In general, I don’t know how much you are here and I don’t know what you do nor does it matter as it’s irrelevant to my points.
Also, I don’t need to mind read plain English. Your intent and meaning here and in the other thread (interracial relationships) was clear which is why you’re trying to parse me to death as well as trying to drown me in ‘tude and lastworditis. But, that’s not going to work as it is what it is.
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@ ks
” nor does it matter as it’s irrelevant to my points.”—If it was indeed that irrelevant then you would not have brought it up in the first place.
“Your intent and meaning here and in the other thread (interracial relationships) was clear which is why you’re trying to parse me to death as well as trying to drown me in ‘tude and lastworditis. But, that’s not going to work as it is what it is.”—-Yet how is it you know one’s intent over the internet? Again you are making an interpretation in both thread on what you think I mean and are running with it.
As for my ‘tude and lastworditis….I do the same with white racist trolls and in most cases they are wrong too. So not really a sure fire way of telling what my intent or meaning was I can tell you that for sure. 🙂
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You responded to me. I did not go after you for anything, but if that is what you believe my intent or meaning is then by all means believe it, but please don’t try to tell me what I intended to do or mean because at that point you are mind reading.
At this point I am just tired of having to go through explain and defend my stance on anything when people either have not taken the time to read what i said or have interpreted it to mean what they want it to. Sorry but this is getting old and unless you have a valid reasoning for you continued nitpicking. I propose you just not respond to me on this or any other thread as I will do the same to you.
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Now you’re just playing games. You got caught slipping and can’t get over it so you’re going on and on and on and on…. No reason to be so put out by it as happens to us all on occasion. But if it makes you feel better deflect away as much as you want. : )
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@ KS
If you say so. Because I am only responding to you. So I am not going on and on alone. But do project and deflect yourself as you look just as good doing it. 🙂
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@Sharina,
Goodness, just take your loss like a grown woman and stop performing and showing out for the crowd. You’ve tried all the basic internet “debate” tricks and failed so move on. Better luck next time. : )
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@ks
Yet here you are commenting to me again…so who is putting on a show? I take projection for 100. LOL. 🙂
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I was just thinking about this guy recently,some of the thoughts that I had was how open and non anonymous he is, you know what he looks like ,where he is,as well as his views.
In regards to his views,I think he’s victimizes and has succumbed to the relentless pressure the white/albinic population places especially on black people globally and african americans specifically.
In regards to his distorted views on black woman, to me its quite understandable the conflicts that occur between african american males and females ,and if you don’t think this is intended ,promoted and rewarded by the the general white/albinic population then they have succeeded in another important component of their global hegemony – deception.
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@Mbeti
Now that is surely food for thought.
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There is some truth in what Sotomayor spews. He would bolster his credibility if he would say “SOME” instead of “ALL” when referring to Black women.
If the shoe fits, wear it. If it doesn, keep it moving.
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But Rufusa,
Most women, Black or White, don’t appreciate any women being degraded. If the shoe doesn’t fit me, I’m still hurt when women are degraded.
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@ Rufusa
I get what you are saying and I agree with you to an extent. He could still say some and still not bring up his credibility because of the way he talks down to women. He degrades them.
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This woman had children with a white man just for lightskin kids. SMDH
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rE_NPjWBCs)
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@Holmes
The proper word for that type of female is mentally unstable.
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He is not degrading Black women, he’s telling a truth about many Black women and this isn’t the 1st time that so many Black women have shown that they can’t handle the truth about themselves. Ever wonder why most of his supporters are Black women? Do your own research and stop letting idiots do the thinking for you.
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@Brother
And do tell us how many of these black women van be truly depicted by the small amount of bad ones he chooses to display as the majority? He has yet to display a black woman such as myself yet has been all to quick to tell masses what a black woman is suppose to be like.
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I’m ecstatic to find this Blog! I can’t believe This “man” is everywhere I go on the internet with his rhetoric and zombie nation of followers who are out for blood. smh. This is such a wonderful blog and I was enjoying myself. Seeing his name in the lounge area made my stomach lurch though. He is poison. After he did a video about this poor latest girl of Color – Renisha McBride, it just made me lose it. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3Opodpkvp4)
Also, I joined this facebook group called 100000 Black Men Against Tommy Sotomayor and for a Progressive Black Community. They can use all the help anyone has in waking people up to Tommy’s true intentions for the Black Community. If you guys want to really help get his rhetoric removed, this seems to be the group that has been pissing him off and shined a flashlight on him, which is why he stopped screaming so much “extra” and yelling. I never thought I would detest a human in my life, and I don’t want to, but OMG!
https://www.facebook.com/TommySotomayor
I’m sure any site doing the same thing, can use all the help! One Luv, Peace & Strength always, Family. <333
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Please be weary of some commentors on this board that are caucasian, posing as black men and women in support of Tommy. They have found many of his supporters to be fake accounts owned by racist website StormFront and they have several of Tommy’s videos on their racist websites. Check out the video where this guy who supports Tommy said it’s time for 100% of the black population need to leave America.
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this guy mama was a dead beat so he hates all black women for what she did. oh well life ain’t fair. who gives a shit. boooo whoo. he sounds ignorant as hell with his uncle tom slave mind. He wants to be accepted so bad by whites. he thinks he is bashing black women in his small mind. what is he expecting to happen, all black women are going to commit suicide to satisfy his cult. black women been through all kind of shit and still standing. this is a good reason to fear us . to tommy and all the black women haters BLACK GIRLS\BLACK WOMEN ROCKS.
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THIS GUY TELLS STRAIGHT LIES HE HAVE WHITE RACIST PEOPLE LISTEN TO HIM ESPECIALLY WHITE RACIST COPS TOMMY KNOWS THAT THE REAL REASON BLACK WOMEN ARE BITTER IT IS BECAUSE OF MOST OF US BLACKMEN LOOK BACK IN THE 1940s 50s BLACK WOMEN WAS WHOLESOME GIRLS NOT TRYING TO BE LOSE BUT WHAT DID THEY BLACK HUSBAND DO WENT OUT AND CHEATED ON THE BLACK WOMEN MADE OTHER FAMILIES BY LIEING SAYING HE WASNT MARRIED LETS TELL THE DAME TRUTH NOW SOME BLACK WOMEN ARE NO GOOD BUT THATS IN EVERY RACE OF WOMEN PLEASE DONT FOLLOW THIS DUDE HE IS A HHYPOCRITE AND A LIER COONING FOR THE WHITE MAN SO HE CAN GET PAID HE BEGS CELEBRITIES TO COME ON HIS SHOW GUESS WHAT THEY DONT LOL THEY KNOW OUR BLACK WOMEN HAVE A BLACKMAN BACK ANYDAY AND ANY NIGHT
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I honestly don’t know which is worse, the fact that this guy is posting videos concerning his disdain for black women, or the fact there are black folks who are listening to him.
This is one sick man for real. I dunno what else to add, but he’s really a total clown.
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Say what you will about Tommy Sotomayor, at least he’s gaining clout and influence! He’s putting his money where his mouth is and the Afram community are starting to shape up because of his influence. He doesn’t praise white men or calls every black women (degenerate or not) a “queen” or some such nonsense. He’s only saying what any right thinking black person is observing. It’s just that simps, manginas and BWE acolytes can’t stand any black man challenging the behaviour of our black “queens”!
Look at how he managed to raise money for his film “A Fatherless America” with mostly black male money!
Tell me simps, manginas, BWE acolytes and “strong black queens”:
What clout do you have in America let alone Black America?
What have you done to help Black America? Started businesses? brought anything black owned?
The likes of Tommy S, Tariq N, BlackAuth0rity etc know one thing: Power respects power.
If anything we need more Tommy Sotomayor’s and luckily there’s a growing amount of black men that are discarding the simping and praising the “strong black queen” bs!
Truth P. said:
“@Vindicator may the violence and destruction that you speak and wish on me and other black women visit you.Unlike you I don’t do threats but I curse often.”
Vin says:
I thought I heard something……………………………………. It was nothing more than the ramblings of a deluded “strong black queen”!
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@vindicator this is somewhat disingenuous in that when tommy was first coming up for real about july or something this year, he was talkin about well if you want a black girlfriend you better hope she has some white friends and stuff, and he has modified that approach a little bit, cut down on the cursing, but ….
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@vindicator
“the Afram community are starting to shape up because of his influence.”—Then by all means provide this proof that it is Tommy’s good grace that has lead to some type of improvement in the black community. Not just one section, but country wide.
“What have you done to help Black America? Started businesses? brought anything black owned?”–
1. Be in influence in doing the right. Teach and present to young black females and non white females the importance of education and making better wiser decisions on life. Check
2. No, but my uncles have there own business in the area that they started. I support it by getting the word out and using their service. I also do the same with every single black business I visit.
3. I buy black owned quite regularly. I can provide the facebook page I use to connect me to black businesses not in my area.
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I would also like to add that there is no black community without black females, so him raising money for his film “with mostly black male money!” is not really an accomplishment in helping the black community but rather the black male community.
Any real right thinking black person who is observing something is also observing issues with the community in general…..not just black women or attempts to throw the blame at just black women.
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@v8driver
I don’t bother with the likes of Tommy S. period. He engages in divide and conquer to me and that is the problem with the black community now. So much divide perpetuated by individuals in our own group.
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rofl, its funny it really is that some ppl can praise tommy yet these same ppl will attack don lemon. at least don lemon attacks the black community and not just one group of the black community so there is no divide and conquer. u let don lemon or some other person say the black community is xyz and there is an uproar from these same males that co sign tommy’s vids about black women being xyz. smh oh the hypocrisy.
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Sharina said:
1. Be in influence in doing the right. Teach and present to young black females and non white females the importance of education and making better wiser decisions on life. Check
Vin says:
Then black women need to do a better job!
Sharina said:
2. No, but my uncles have there own business in the area that they started. I support it by getting the word out and using their service. I also do the same with every single black business I visit.
Vin says:
I happy to hear that!
Sharina said:
3. I buy black owned quite regularly. I can provide the facebook page I use to connect me to black businesses not in my area.
Vin says:
I happy to hear that!
Sharina said:
I would also like to add that there is no black community without black females, so him raising money for his film “with mostly black male money!” is not really an accomplishment in helping the black community but rather the black male community.
Vin says:
Which in turn helps the black community because black men are part of it too!
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mstoogood4yall said:
“rofl, its funny it really is that some ppl can praise tommy yet these same ppl will attack don lemon. at least don lemon attacks the black community and not just one group of the black community so there is no divide and conquer. u let don lemon or some other person say the black community is xyz and there is an uproar from these same males that co sign tommy’s vids about black women being xyz. smh oh the hypocrisy.”
Vin says:
I actually kinda agree with the things that Don Lemon said!
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@vindicator
“Then black women need to do a better job!”—Black men and women need to do a better job. Placing all the blame on black women will not subside the fact that black men still need to step up their game.
“Which in turn helps the black community because black men are part of it too!”—I am fully aware of that, but it does not change the fact that catering to black men is not going to help black women. It needs to be a community effort and support in order to truly be of any help to the black community.
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Okay so I finally checked out this guy’s youtube ramblings in depth and a few things come to mind:
1. He’s working an obvious hustle by rabble rousing to get views.
2. After viewing a few of his vids it becomes clear that his arguments are not consistent or event coherent outside of a few main obnoxious themes. How many times can a guy say “hair hats!!!” ?
3. Whatever minor points he may have that he could expound upon are totally buried because the guy is an off putting insufferable a$$.
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I am a fan of Tommy Sotomayor and think most of you don’t really understand the underlying message he has. He mostly reports on events on the news so he’s not making up what he’s reporting. It’s tough love black folks. The black culture in this country is dysfunctional, talk all about the historical roots of the end result but we are now in a position where we need to confront the bad behavior and call it for what it is. I support the man for not conforming to the same black focus that has failed for generations, namely in attempting to justify this dysfunctional, embarrassing behavior.
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@SoulClap
There is no underlying message and if there were then I wonder why known of his fans can actually explain it. No one said he was making up his reports but he was using those reports to try to point out what the majority of black women do (not the imaginary focus on black problems that many of his fans falsely claim). Bad behavior will never be confronted if all his does is talk about black women.
Sad part is that you support a man that utilized the same bad behavior you talk about him trying to fix. Calling women b’s and all type of derogatory names. I swear no respect. Though people worship hypocrites so no skin off my back.
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If he doesn’t stop, I predict Tommy Sotomayor will be assaulted and/or murdered by a black male angry about what he says about black females; or a black male simping for black females. Actually, there is probably no difference between the two.
Black males raised without fathers in single femaled headed homes often act out of emotion and impulse, just like their mothers.
Tommy has a lot of nerve taking about it.
But then again, its not surprising since he was raised by a single black female.
Thats not irony.
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@ thwack
I sincerely doubt that. If he’s assaulted by a black male, it will probably be something of a very personal and sensitive nature like Tommy said something or did something to that black male that he didn’t like.
It won’t be because some black male is championing the dignity of black females, believe that.
And I’ll add that the missing black fathers (since I assume these single black mothers did not conceive via any immaculate conception method)
are RULED by emotion and impulse — and the sad crime and violent ridden conditions of our black communities are a testimony to this.
Because there is NO ONE more emotional or impulsive than a person who would murder another human being because someone stepped on his brand new sneakers.
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Now that I think about it, Tommy is not the only one of his kind. Although he mainly slams black females, there are several other black males that are “tough on blacks” to the point they get accused of hating black people. And there have been others in the past.
In fact, I’ll go as far as to call it and American archetype. This is probably where the character of “Uncle Ruckus” comes from. My dad was “conservative” and it sometimes expressed itself as what some people would call a “tough on blacks” attitude, but since he held himself to that standard, he was immune to criticism.
The only problem with it (and this is something I learned from Neely Fuller) is he only used half the “equation”. My dad would give you the beat down, tell you want you did wrong; but leave out the suggestion correction part.
I guess I was supposed to get that through osmosis?
So the question I have is, What is the black female equivalent of “Uncle Ruckus?”
Does it exist?
or is it only a black male archteype?
Cause I really can’t think of any?
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@ thwack
Thinking is not your strong point. Neither is solid research. Problem solved.
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Sharina
@ thwack
Thinking is not your strong point. Neither is solid research. Problem solved.
———————————————————————————————————
And this is an example of why black people are not as smart as white people.
We make STATEMENTS instead of asking QUESTIONS.
Ya’ll notice how George Ryder asks so many questions?
He’s NOT trying to prove how smart he is, he’s trying to get smarter and you do that by ASKING QUESTIONS not by making statements.
I think I raised a valid question?
There is no shame in admitting you do not know the answer; why don’t you try to GET the answer by asking another question?
Or do you NOT want black people to become smarter?
(BTW– don’t be embarressed;white people already know this)
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@ Thwack
That is where you are wrong, but I take it you can only add it to the long list of things you have been wrong about. Asking questions only gets you an answer, but it does not mean the answer is based on some truth or gathered knowledge. You are not becoming smarter by asking questions and waiting on someone to throw you a handout of knowledge. You are becoming lazy and waiting on someone to give you the answer. These cases usually go one or two ways. The individual rejects the information because it is not what they want to believe or gobble it up like a naïve fool. Either way they did not learn anything or care to. People who are smart usually seek out these things on their own and when stuck ask questions for guidance before diving into a bed of discovery and critical thinking. They don’t ask questions when their mind is already made up. That is basically what you do.
“I think I raised a valid question?”—And you got an answer even though it was not the one you wanted. See how this works?
But please don’t be embarrassed that you just made yet another fool of yourself in attempt to make a smart aleck remark that did not bold well in your favor. I will asked question to people that actually know what they are talking about…not people who are lost in the Bermuda triangle of mental issues.
Good Day.
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Oh and thwack I have the answer to your meager questions, but I place a limit on how much I am going to participate in providing knowledge or education to someone (hearsay does seem like pitiful topic when bigger questions arise). People never grow if you are just giving them the answers because they are too lazy to do the research and find it themselves.
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One thing Tommy Sotomayor should be credited with is the education he is providing all those black people who did NOT grow up in dysfunctional, fatherless, single parent households.
Patrice O’neal is another black male who performed this same service. I am thankful to both of them for being strong enough to be honest about their difficult childhood experiences, and share them with ignorant people like me who did not experience them.
It takes courage to put yourself out there like that and tell the truth regarding how and where you recieved your distorted thinking and non constructive behaviors.
It makes many black males reflect on their own childhoods and how/where they got their values; I know because Im one of em.
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Also, I suspect some of Tommy Sotomayor’s anger towards black females and “tough approach” to black people in general is due to his disappointment that he needed/needs white peoples help try to do anything of constructive value for black people.
Many times when a black person ASKS another black person for help, EVEN if its only in terms of advice/suggestions, we won’t get any; and we may even get attacked/abused.
Then out of desperation, we go to a white person, and not only do we get constructive information/suggestions… we may get financing too. Its gotten to the point where when I have an idea or a question, I often just skip over a lot of black people and go straight to an old white man.
Why?
Because they have done and seen so much they are usually the most confident people and therefore don’t waste time getting in “p*ssing contests, challenging you for no reason…”
Matter of fact, being white men, they are usually so busy with projects of their own they don’t have time for nonsense even if they wanted to engage in it..
Tommy has described it as a Youtube phenomenon and I have seen it. The white tubers who share a common interest are able to work together; get each other to guest post, guest host, interview each other, pump each others websights, articles, defend each other when they come under attack…
And thats just the stuff they allow us to see.
Its a big advantage. and there may be no substitute for it?
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My stepdad found Tommy’s video saying, “the Trayvons are the ones we need to be afraid of, not the Zimmermans of the world” and calling his mother a “hair hatted hooligan” right after the Zimmerman verdict came through, very upsetting.
What Sotomayor does is an age old ploy, which is as old as American media itself, exploiting the poor and holding it up as a projection of an entire race of people. The only difference is, Tommy isn’t White.
People shouldn’t get upset about it, unfortunately there’s a lot of psychological ruin among POC due to White supremacy. Most of his followers are Black women, who I suspect follow him around to see what awful thing he’ll say next. His audience is made up of a very small number of men. And even if many men feel the hatred and distain he does for Black women, it’s one of those things where you’re better off knowing. Most Black girls/women have encountered this hatred before, but no one believed it, it seemed intangible before it broke out all over the internet for everyone to see, but now people do.
The one who is bursting with hatred is the one who will suffer in the long run. I say to the sistas, don’t let it affect you, just live your life. We’re are a race of women full of resilience, we’ve usually come up against this kind of thing a thousand times before we’ve even reached womanhood.
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I’ve heard white people say that blacks stick together but they just don’t know. The black people I know don’t even act like they like each other. They talk derogatory about each other. Some black men I know will try to use a white woman just to make a black woman feel bad. I don’t know why they do that. I don’t let them use me like that. Some white women like it because it makes them feel good to be put on the pedestal, no matter why. I have sympathy for black women.
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Ebonymonroe
My stepdad found Tommy’s video saying, “the Trayvons are the ones we need to be afraid of, not the Zimmermans of the world”
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Did your dad agree? or disagree?
Ebonymonroe
And even if many men feel the hatred and distain he does for Black women, it’s one of those things where you’re better off knowing.
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Better off for WHOM not knowing?
Black males?
or
Black females?
Can you provide a list of things black people should not know about? Or should I visit the a prison and ask all the black male inmates?
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Yeah, there’s a video of Tommy saying he does it because it’s easy because Black people are stupid. Sadly some Black men either looking for a father figure, or somewhere to place their frustrations in dealing with life, have gravitated to him and just eat it up, like Nazi’s looking for an identity and an answer to their problems. I think it just goes to show how much brokeness is out there. I’ve never come across a whole movement of White men using a platform to degrade and tear apart their own women before. It’s very sad. Because these men are not given permission, or are too frightened to take on the real oppressions against them, they look to the easiest target, the only people who are below them on the totem pole, their own women. But it’s self destruction, suicide, in a sense, I think that’s the true identification of what the term “self hatred” means. When you turn like a mad man, and begin tearing to pieces the ones you are supposed to protect, the only ones who march, campaign and speak out for you when it all hits the fan, it’s like a display of cannibalism. But this is the damage on full display. Instead of getting our feelings hurt, we should pity these individuals, it’s sad and embarrassing . . .. for them.
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No, he did not agree, and he was hurt that another Black man would use the death of a Black boy, as an opportunity to attack. Read it properly, I said you’re better off knowing, not not knowing.
Look, when you first came on, you asked questions that myself and a number of other commenters took the time to answer for you. We posted factual data, assuming you were interested, from your questions. But you began insulting for some strange reason. Sharina is right, you do not ask to know, but tob accuse and attack after skipping over information. When you find that no one here will answer you anymore, it’s not because they don’t have great insights and information to engage with, but because of your ever increasing unpopularity resulting from your horrible behaviour on this blog, within a short space of time. I’m sorry, but I am uninterested in continuing to engage with.
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Ebonymonroe
No, he did not agree, and he was hurt that another Black man would use the death of a Black boy, as an opportunity to attack. Read it properly, I said you’re better off knowing, not not knowing.
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oops, sorry, (I would say “My _ _ _” but it might get deleted for mock ebonics)
I misread your statement. Please strike my retort and accept my apology.
Thank you.
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@Jayis
I admit at first I did not see this and I was told by several different women that this was the case. Buy my eyes are wide open now.
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correction but*
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@ Ebony
I was given a link to Tommy S. a few weeks ago by a female friend who thought I would enjoy it or get something out of it. I checked it out and read the comment section. I was so disgusted that I had to close the whole thing. One of his commenters was calling for the rape and murder of black women. He was describing how he would do it and when a black female responded he told her to shut up because he would rape and strangle her. I was hoping for the comments to be deleted or a response from TS himself about that level of violence on his page, but nope. The comments were allowed to ride and no response. His followers act like animals and when approached with contradictory information they say “the truth hurts.” Pure childishness.
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@Sharina
Exactly. People don’t seem to be aware of how bad it is. I’ve seen the same kind of comments under a Tariq Nasheed video.
Most of the videos on Black women on youtube are hate videos; it’s all across the web on multiple blogs and websites.
If this were about White women, they would have shut it down a long time ago. Tommy made a video about the gay community a while back, and the media picked up on it and condemned it, but when it’s just Black women, it’s open season.
A young Black woman was k!lled by one of seargent Willie Pete’s followers a little while back. I wouldn’t be surprised if his followers are the ones in our communities committing domestic violence, and doing the rap!ng. (You hear it from the youtubers, the Nathan Mccalls, Hip hop. There’s an element in our community that really seems made to destroy Black women.) Or, these are the guys who just can’t fit in with Black people, so they grow to hate them, and find better bonds with White people. The average Black man is not gonna shake hands with a Black man who says 99% of Black men and women are no good.
It’s sad because I remember coming across an online conversation between a few Black women not too long ago, and seeing them say they were frightened to have children, because they feared if they had sons, no matter what they did, or how hard they tried, they would grow up to hate them and hurt them. I’ve seen this hatred on every website I’ve frequented over the last two years, and it has certainly had an impact for a lot of Black women. If I lived in the States, I would not be leaving my house un@rmed. And that’s honestly just how it has left me feeling about it. Better to be safe than sorry.
@thwack
Fair enough.
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@ Ebonymonroe
I was at a vegan restaurant today operated by a family of Black Israelites and the father was irate over the way Arab merchants regularly disrespect the young black females who shop there and he asked a black male customer what kind of men turn a blind eye to the disrespect of their women and girl children, especially by men outside their group?
I’d ask this question:
What kind of male publicly and venomously disrespects the same women who represents his mother, his sisters, and his daughters instead of focusing on fixing what is wrong with himself?
A male who does NOT understand what real manhood is, who has probably never been taught how to be a man, and who sadly, will never BE a man.
The Tommy Sotomayers of the world are the psychological casualties in the war against black manhood – and unfortunately, our enemies are WINNING. Big time.
Since the Tommys Sotomayors learned their definition of manhood from the racist white male, they feel a real man must victimize and demean anyone they see as weaker than themselves
Unfortunately, the ONLY people the Tommy Sotomayors can attack without facing any consequences are BLACK FEMALES.
They are too terrified (cowardly) to attack their real tormentors (the white man and white woman) and this EVIDENCE of their cowardice drives them even deeper into denial.
Where their fierce and fearless criticism of racist man and racist woman? You won’t see them do that – it’s nothing but more weak, mpotent NOISE.
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Correction
Where is their fierce and fearless criticism of racist man and racist woman? You won’t see them do that on the internet or in public. They are nothing more than weak, impotent NOISE.
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@Trojan Pam & Ebony Monroe: I have asked this question repeatedly, Does Sotomayor and these other black woman hating cretins feel this way about the women who gave birth to their sorry carcasses? I am sure they have mothers, and aunties and sisters and grandmothers and female cousins. This is disgusting on so many levels.
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I agree @Pam.
I don’t believe all Black men are this way, don’t get me wrong. But I do believe this particular demographic has grown enough so that it’s now another threat to Black women. There is more than just the White voice coming for the life of someone like me simply because of my race and gender, in 2014. And sadly, that’s just the way it is, now.
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@Mary
They call it “the vertical exclusion,” where the females above you, (mother, grandmother, etc), and the females below you, (daughter, grandaughter, etc) are exempt. But these hate preachers also excuse the exact same bad behaviours of non Black women. I’ve seen it time and time again. Tommy will refer to Gabrielle union as a @@@@ and accuse her of promiscuity for having been married in the past, but reason that Kim Kardashian is a good woman who’s just made some mistakes. I do not see the difference between the cats and White supremacists, they’re all my enemies. 100
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@Ebonymonroe
If this were about White women, they would have shut it down a long time ago. Tommy made a video about the gay community a while back, and the media picked up on it and condemned it, but when it’s just Black women, it’s open seaso.
I know you can see the BIG difference. Not a racial one either. The BIG difference is that if it were about white women or gay people, there wouldn’t be any of them following him, praising him, or defending him. You might not know it but a lot of black women defend men like this Tommy. Even if a white woman loved him, she would never say anything to defend him. She would know that other white women would drown her out, so she would stay quiet. The same thing with gay people. Why do those black women defend these black guys who don’t like them?
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Why are we giving TS more power than he actually has? I’ve seen some of his videos and do not appreciate his disparaging views on Black women. However he does not influence me from enjoying my life. He should not be so influential in general. What is it about this guy that has some so intrigued?
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@Ebonymonroe: Thanks for trying to help me understand this insanity. I am older than you, I remember a time when black men loved the black woman. This must be a generational thing with this black woman hate. I think I read something in the scriptures that said something about in the last days what’s right is wrong and what wrong is right. I am paraphrasing mind you. But this is some straight up madness.
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@bygodsloveandgrace: I never heard of any of this stuff until I was gifted with a laptop and discovered the internet. I wish I never heard of this. But I agree with what you said, TS does not deserve our attention.
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@TrojanPam
Since the Tommys Sotomayors learned their definition of manhood from the racist white male, they feel a real man must victimize and demean anyone they see as weaker than themselves
You can get mad at me for saying this, but this is what I mean when I say black women defend this kind of black man who all of you say hates and hurts black women. You blame his behavior on white men. No, he’s responsible for his own behavior. You don’t think he’s responsible for his behavior and he knows you think this way. A lot of black guys know that black women will find a way to excuse them. I hear them and see them play with black women like that. I don’t think that black women really know black men that well. No sane white woman would excuse a white man for doing what this Tommy does, even if he just came out of a concentration camp. Men like him are not worth it.
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@Ebony: “Vertical exclusion” so the madness has a name. Thanks for the education.
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Why do you guys care about this ugly, self hating man? He hates Black women because he hates himself and what he sees in the mirror. Let his bash Black women and put non Black women on the pedestal because he will end up like OJ Simpson, ass in jail and noboby by his side.
And that would be his price for selling out
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Thanks Mary. I just don’t think he’s worthy of our time and attention. But for those who like him, it is what it is!
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@Adeen: You’re right he isn’t worth mentioning.
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Trojan Pam wrote:
“Unfortunately, the ONLY people the Tommy Sotomayors can attack without facing any consequences are BLACK FEMALES.
“They are too terrified (cowardly) to attack their real tormentors (the white man and white woman) and this EVIDENCE of their cowardice drives them even deeper into denial.”
– – –
Dead on.
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I don’t give him my attention, or my time. Every time someone watches one of his videos he gets paid, because youtube actually partners with this man. So there is no way I would even think about it.
This post sparked up again and I came and gave my two cents, as I never have, end of.
People seem to think it’s just Tommy, but it’s not. There are guys on this post cosigning his doctrine, and there are tons of Tommy’s on youtube and all across the web, but everyone likes to act like it isn’t a growing problem. It certainly doesn’t bother me, but I’m not deaf and/or blind.
I agree, I will not blame Tommy’s or any of these other Black woman muderers on the White man. They have free will and they choose to use it this way. Even many of these entertainers in our community, who get to the top, use their power to degrade and verbally abuse Black women, so the whole idea that everything would be okay if institutional White supremacy was done away with, is null and void in my opinion. That’s why you had hashtags like blackpowerisforblackmen come about, Black women are getting fed up. Even on twitter, it’s everyday: there was hashtag stopblackgirls last year with some of the most degrading images and messages of Black women being posted. Even during BET’s one night a year “Black girls rock” show, to honour Black girls and women, there were complaints about how it was racist because White girls rock. Guess who participated? That’s right, Black men and White women. It’s not the White man forcing these cats to behave like this. I refuse to bypass them and not hold them accountable for their own actions. They’re not puppets. I am not stupid.
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Then if he gets paid to spread his B.S. propaganda, he is disgusting, selling his black sisters out to be paid. It’s worse than I thought.
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@ mary burrell
I agree, it is sickening, particularly since so many “Tommies” boys STILL rely on their black “mommies,” “sisters,” “aunties” and “grandmas” and ‘black girlfriends” for their food, clothing, and shelter, prison phone calls, money on the jail books, education, etc.
(?!?)
I think black females who are dealing with ANY males who do not like black females should SHOW THEM THE DOOR
GO. LEAVE. BYE. DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU WHERE THE GOOD LORD SPLIT YOU KIND OF THING.
To be clear, I never said all or most black males feel this way BUT there are a significant number who trash us on a regular basis.
This might sound harsh. If my son publicly behaved this way toward black females he and I would have a MAJOR PROBLEM and I’m serious as a heart attack about that.
No way in HELL would I excuse OR tolerate his behavior. I would send his ungrateful ass packing until he got some common sense.
And I would strongly, strongly suggest that ALL black females STOP tolerating this kind of disrespect.
Let them learn who their real enemies are
the HARD WAY
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mary burrell
@Trojan Pam & Ebony Monroe: I have asked this question repeatedly, Does Sotomayor and these other black woman hating cretins feel this way about the women who gave birth to their sorry carcasses?
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I don’t know about all of them, but both Tommy Sotomayor and Patrice O’neal have attacked their own mothers and shared “rachet” things they have done.
In one particularly compelling video called “Bastard Sons of Single Moms” Tommy outs himself as one.
So yes, he does include his own mother in his criticism of black females.
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@ Jayis
I don’t understand why you think I’m defending him.
‘m referring to the fact that we live in a white-male-dominated culture and that all of us–including the Tommie Sotomayors– are imitating the values of this culture,
which include seeing women as less than men. That attitude is built into this culture. Black males didn’t invent the concept.
That has nothing to do with making excuses, it’s just being accurate, in my opinion.
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@ Ebonymonroe
I have observed the ramping up of the white supremacist media pitting black males against females over the last ten years. If you look at the movies and TV shows and even TV commercials, there is a consistent image of the mean and untrustworthy black female (h*o) picking on and putting down black males.
In contrast, there a TON of images of white females befriending and loving and laughing with black males
and this reminds me of the tactic used by the government in the 1960s, something called the Moynihan report, that blamed black females for “emasculating” black males
and unfortunately, some males fell for it.
What is happening — I think — is the white supremacy system is using black females as a SCAPEGOAT to redirect black male frustration and rage caused by unemployment, incarceration, police brutality aka RACISM to US, instead of to the white people responsible for the black man’s oppression.
and unfortunately, some are STILL falling for this OLD TRICK.
because it is a SAFER ALTERNATIVE to blame black females instead of confronting white people and dealing with the scary consequences.
It is sad that some males think black females have all this “power” to oppress them (?)
but some people will have to learn who their REAL ENEMIES are the HARD WAY
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@ mary burrell
I responded to your post but it is in moderation so please bear with me
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@ Pay it Forward
I think it’s a huge mistake to overlook the effects of 400 plus years of chattel slavery and over 500 years of degradation and the damage it has done to the black male/black female relationship.
That’s why understanding history is so important. Because you can’t know where you ARE or where you’re GOING if you don’t know where you’ve BEEN.
Degrading black females was a MAINSTAY of slavery and this behavior we’re talking about now has its GENESIS in slavery.
We still have a slave mentality that guides our behavior and you can see it in the slave traditions that we still practice. For example, black females were first called “bytches” by the white slave owners because we were no more than animals.
That’s what a BYTCH is — it’s a female DOG (an animal) yet some black people think there’s nothing wrong with using that name as a term of endearment — even to the extent of calling themselves a “bad bytch” (aka a ‘bad female DOG)
I don’t mean to go off topic, but I’m trying to make the point that we are still functioning as emotional slaves and some of the attitudes toward black females have their roots in slavery.
It that making excuses for bad behavior? I don’t think it is. I don’t think I’ve said one word on this thread that can be interpreted as making excuses, but I do want to UNDERSTAND what and why something might be happening.
I assume we all want to see this behavior stopped. How can we do that if we don’t understand why it might be happening?
That’s what I’m saying…
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I see what you’re saying, but the White community tends to defend its women. White men are not on youtube and all across the web tearing their women down like this. They certainly are misogynistic as far as their culture, but there are no other men, (outside of countries plagued with religious extremism), who do this to their women. None!
White men didn’t teach Black men to hate women, that’s why these men do not include non Black women in this. Instead, these individuals have learned to despise Blackness. And divorce was not a problem in the Black community until the 70’s when working class jobs were shut down, and neighbourhood containment came about, with resources being pushed out of these neighbourhoods which housed POC, along with a massive influx of drugs into African American communities. So this can’t be blamed on slavery, instead these individuals are so weak, (compared to their ancestors who faced the most incredible challenges human beings could ever be put up against, and still chose to love and fight together), that the years of White washe/ anti Black media, was all it took for them to become this. If that’s not weak, I don’t know what is. They don’t research the ruin, the disadvantage, and cyclical poverty, often right behind what they’re raving about, as though further shame will stop the madness. Instead they blame the victimized, and hold the images of madness in poor communities, up as the definition of “Blackness.”
How weak can you be that in this day and age, one of the most subtle and gentle periods for the Western Black diaspora, (and that’s saying something), can make you cave like that?
Tommy, calling himself Hispanic because he’s got a greatgrandmother who was from Panama, having multiple children out of wedlock, and a long rap sheet of drunk driving and domestic violence cases, but he wants to talk about self hate and ratchet behaviour. Puhlease!
Pam’s nailed something though, these are not men, and they probably never will be. They’re over grown children.
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@ Ebonymonroe
I completely understand and empathize with your frustration.
It is almost unforgivable the level of disrespect and B.S. we are subjected to from the same people who came from our wombs and who depended on US for every need when no one else gave a D about them.
That’s why I have to constantly, constantly, constantly remind myself of the black males who are DECENT men, who respect other black people and who would NEVER side with the likes of Tommy Sotomayor and his pathetic sympathizers.
Because if we’re not careful, we might start giving TIT for TAT and things will only get worse.
That’s how I keep my hostility in check. Otherwise, I might SNAP.
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Jayis
“No, he’s responsible for his own behavior.”——Agreed. I was also going to mention something to the effects of he has been coddled with the idea of he can do no wrong, but you kinda beat me to it.
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@Trojan Pam
Something you mentioned here has resonated with me a lot recently. Perhaps I didn’t realise it before, but I’ve begun to.
I was the show “The Wire,” there was a married African American couple. The sista had her hair natural, they seemed like both husband and wife, and great friends. I guess I got a little too comfortable because within the space of a few episodes, she became a sapphire, they divorced, he found love with a White female character, that became the show’s strongest most loving and enduring relationship all the way to the show’s end.
They showed love scenes between White couples, but all the scenes between African Americans were either prostition, or base affairs. But they did show plenty of steamy, romantic love scenes between the Black male/White woman couple, but never when he was married to the Black woman. Any other Black male characters were not really shown with their wives and families.
I thought I may be being paranoid.
And then I began watch the show “24,” where there is an African American president and first lady. She becomes a sapphire, they divorce (in what world is there a divorced single president, where this all happens during his presidency)? She betrays him over and over again. His next relationship is with a White woman. She is a saint, a matyr, innocent, and incredibly supportive. If that wasn’t enough, another Black woman he got involved with was trying to con him, and the one Black female boss who worked in the office was a villain, and a sapphire, too. This is all always juxtaposed by the never ending sweet loving White woman characters, with their healthy wholesome relationships.
I’ve started spotting it continually.
I know not all Black men are like that of course. The problem is, from younger generation to the next generation, it’s becoming more common. The problem is growing . . .. and I accept that.
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@Trojan Pam: Excellent points.
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Yeah, no doubt @Sharina
I’m not for tit for tat, but I know a brother from an enemy, and these are not brothers.
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@ Ebonymonroe
Exactly. These are the images I see over and over, where the black female is portrayed as the ENEMY of black males and/or the black male is harming the black female.
Given that most black people (i believe) watch a TON of TV and movies, of course, we’re absorbing these images and acting on them. That’s why I think it’s so important to understand HOW the system of white supremacy works, and how it has deliberately attempted to destroy the black male/black female relationship.
The one thing they fear is the black male uniting with the black female whether it be in Africa or the Americas. That’s why they’re pushing IR relationships with white people HARD, and why we seldom see any loving relationships between black males and females and why most of the time black males are shown without a FEMALE–period.
That is also why they are promoting homosexuality among black males and rewarding them for “coming out” of the closet.
Everything we see and read in the white media about is being done to PROGRAM us to dislike and distrust each other. It’s easy to say black males (and females) should be smart enough to see through the hype, but in reality, we are all being programmed to one degree or another.
Understanding this doesn’t mean we’re making excuses, it means we understand that a WAR is being waged for our minds, souls and bodies and that there is a relentless campaign to DIVIDE AND CONQUER the black male and black female — because once that happens
everything falls apart. There can be no safe black communities, no black business bases, no black economic or educational systems, no black independence or real wealth or power or sane black children
There is a bigger picture here than just some big-mouth black male putting us down. It’s about the reason Tommy Sotomayor can get corporate sponsors for his youtube madness and why a brother who praises black females wouldn’t get a dime.
Once you start to SEE what is happening, you’ll understand WHAT and WHY it is happening and be able to explain to others how we have to peep this game and stop falling for it.
this is ALL about white supremacy keeping us at each other’s throats so they WIN and we LOSE.
Sorry about the long post
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@ Ebony
Oh I agree. I often find myself comparing the generation of my uncles and father and grandfather to this generation and I am puzzled. Puzzled on what happened to these individuals and why they are so messed up. Don;t get me wrong because I know some good black men with solid mental stability that counter this bs day to day, but those men that follow the TS logic just confuse me to no end. Even with presented with contrary information they spout TS bull like it is gospel.
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TrojanPam and Ebony
I really need to pay closer attention to the tv I watch. Those are things I never noticed.
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@ sharina
“I often find myself comparing the generation of my uncles and father and grandfather to this generation and I am puzzled. Puzzled on what happened to these individuals and why they are so messed up”
I’m confused myself, but I see it is different environments and parenting that plays a major role in all of it.. Back in my parents and older relatives time there was respect and parents were more on their kids and other people were allowed to discipline the child. It takes a village to raise a child and people back then understood that. Everybody nowadays is about one person (themselves) then parents have games and the internet babysitting their kids, and most of that stuff is violent. I can’t tell u how many times I hear little kids on games they shouldn’t be playing and cursing up a storm.
Then my older relatives mostly lived in black neighborhoods growing up, nowadays a lot more grow up in white or mixed neighborhoods. And they had more positive black celebs. my dad loved the Jackson 5 and my uncle loved prince. what do the kids have nowadays? beyonce, jay z, lil wayne, etc all sellouts.
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oh and parents spoil their kids, parents that didn’t have much growing up will say my kids are going to have everything because I had nothing. I will buy them the toys and games they want because I didn’t have those things growing up. But it has backfired. There is nothing wrong with letting ur kids go without all the latest toys and electronics. Too many want those things because their friends have it.
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Absolutely @Sharina
My father would be shocked and ashamed.
@Trojan Pam
I understand it’s much to do with the system of White supremacy, but my perspective is we all have free will. These men are not one or two, it has become a culture within a community. I do not view it as just a problem with White people sustaining White sepremacy anymore, you pick a side through your own free will.
These people, this culture, is a system against me as a double minority (Black and female) in the same way White institutional systemic supremacy is. If White supremacism was done away with today, I’d still have a problem. You’ve got this Black female hate culture, across the web, in our music, our communities, all the civil rights organizations are run by men, so we hear about Trayvon, but when it comes to a case like the Dunbar village gangr@pe case, the NAACP and Al Sharpton said they weren’t interested, and at the last minute, came out to defend the offenders, (who were only a few of dozens) who had g&ngraped a woman at every area of her body, for hours on end, poured materials like bleach into her, forced her to perform 0r@l sex on her young son, bleached his eyes out, videotaped it, and laughed and raved about it after being arrested.
I just don’t see it as White people and us anymore, the oppression has far more intersectionality than that for Black women.
For too long there has been the deception that everything boilscdown to White supremacism, but race, gender, class, the dynamics are far more complex nowaday.
There is nothing in the world that could convince me otherwise.
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@ Sharina
I believe a huge part of the reason this problem has gotten worse is the media and integration.
Our older relatives didn’t watch TV and movies 24-7. There were almost no black people on TV. My older sister once said, “Black people didn’t start acting crazy until we started seeing ourselves on TV.”
I think she was right. Before that, we had to talk to each other, deal with other, rely on each other and depend on each other.
Now, many black people feel they don’t need other black people (until they get in a jam), and don’t have to marry or date other black people, and get their information ABOUT other black people from the TV tube. Now consider that we don’t control a SINGLE TV station, whose ideas about us are we internalizing?
White people.
I did a post about this a while ago, how the recent spate of “black” Hollywood films are actually nothing more than barely disguised white supremacy propaganda.
And that there are basically five or six types of black movies.
without taking up too much time on Abagond’s blog, I’ll post the link
http://racismws.com/2013/08/14/why-the-movie-the-butler-will-not-get-one-dime-from-me/
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@ ebonymonroe
“White men didn’t teach Black men to hate women, that’s why these men do not include non Black women in this.”
Maybe not but some of these black males sound just like them, they recycle what white men have said. Whether those black males want to admit it or not they follow the white mans lead, what he says is bad they say is bad (black women) what he says is hot they say is hot (Asian and white women).
to me they are like the blacks that feel the need to buy name brands because famous people or whites wear it whether they can afford it or not. propaganda is strong and some people are weak mentally and can’t pick up on it and go right along with it. And others go right along with it because they want to fit in and be accepted.
And it is an example of some black males trying to flex their muscles and prove how manly they are, but manly by whose standards? They still compare themselves to whites, and compare their masculinity by white man’s standards, by how they can control women, how much money, how much control they have over others. its really pitiful, but the real men don’t have to do any of those things because they know their strength and masculinity comes by providing, uplifting, and protecting their women and children, right or wrong, through thick and thin.
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Sharina
@ Ebony
, but those men that follow the TS logic just confuse me to no end. Even with presented with contrary information they spout TS bull like it is gospel
—————————————————————————————————–
Thats because you are ascribing to a single man; some things all men know but are too afraid to say. Thats why Tommy is so popular. He speaks for a lot of men so we don’t have to speak for ourselves and risk “getting in trouble”.
He’s kinda like Louis Farahkan in that he says things that black people wish they could say; but they ain’t got the guts.
For example, the hair weave arms race is out of control. Its gone beyond rediculous now. I understand extensions, but an entire wig? down to you but? Velvet red?
Come on now!.
Black females should take that weave money and spend it on diet and exercise because if a girl does NOT have a good body, she can’t compensate with make up, weave, clothing…
But if a girl has a good body, I don’t care if shes illiterate; I’ll marry her and teach her to read myself in between bouts of bouncing up and down on top of her trying to get a bun in her oven.
WORD!
(oops sorry, it slipped out)
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But we also must bear in mind, men like Tommy and SJP are not young men. These are often men in their mid 30’s-50’s. These are men who came up in the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s. There’s simply no more reasoning or psychologising to be done here.
It is what it is now
.
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@ Ebonymonroe
When you live under a SYSTEM, everything that happens, happens because of the system.
Compare it to being in a prison. Everything that happens within those prison walls are controlled by the people who run that prison. it might look like the inmates have free will but if they did, why would they still be in a prison?
The inmates are forced to adapt — sometimes poorly — to the conditions that are forced upon them. That’s why some prisoners turn homosexual and then become heterosexual once they are released.
The conditions altered their mentality and changed what they might normally do if they were not imprisoned.
Black people are still on a psychological plantation, the only difference is we can’t see the boundaries, but every time white people want to remind us, they find a way.
If black people had free will why would we allow ourselves to be victimized by racism? Why would we allow anyone to tell us where we can work, live, and play? We can’t have complete free will when we are NOT free
And that is the danger for black people who do not understand or refuse to accept that this is a SYSTEM, a MATRIX, that restricts and deforms our ability to function normally.
As far as I’m concerned, none of us are functioning the way we should or could had it not been for the centuries of mistreatment we have endured and still endure.
That being said, I respect your right to disagree and we can agree to disagree.
I’m calling it a night.
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@ thwack
You have a tendency to make pronouncements in very broad strokes. In fact, far too broad, in my opinion.
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I’m sorry @TrojanPam, but we’re just gonna have to agree to disagree here. And I say that respectfully, as I do have a tremendous amount of respect for your commentary on the blog. Other races of people of colour have also grown up seeing themselves distorted in the media in this day and age, but you do not see other men of colour doing this. I believe a lot of what happens is because Black women continue to paint these Black men as victims in what they’re doing when they’re not. Around 75-85% of AA girls are r@ped before they’re even adults, domestic violence is the no.1 killer of Black women; there is a toxicity in the community that no one will address. There is no way anyone can tell me everyone is not able to critically think if you’re an individual with all your faculties. White supremacy is not forcing these men to speak with vile violence against a race of women, to sit back when things happen because they’re girls and not boys. All the major businesses in the community are headed by men, the civil rights organizations= men, but even with community relative power we see the same flaws. The misogynistic racism is not confined to this extreme form. It’s not just about White supremacism as far as I’m concerned, and if these patterns are anything to go by, if White supremacism was done away with, we’d still be in big trouble. They will continue to stand out degrading their women when no other men of colour do this openly, to this extent, in the West. I will not be seeing oppression as that cut and dry.
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@ ebonymonroe
“You’ve got this Black female hate culture, across the web, in our music, our communities, all the civil rights organizations are run by men, so we hear about Trayvon, but when it comes to a case like the Dunbar village gangr@pe case, the NAACP and Al Sharpton said they weren’t interested, and at the last minute, came out to defend the offenders”
That is a dang shame, I don’t like either of them much, I remember another case where a black woman was shot and killed and her aunt was shot as well and the white neighbor said it was an accident and the gun discharged while he was cleaning it. The girls family reached out to al but got no answer. Then the whole eldrige cleaver thing with the black panthers, they allow these males in that don’t care about black women and will either use or ignore black women and our issues, but then they will complain about feminists.
The naacp is no surprise to me they even let russel simmons off with a warning for the Harriet tubman sextape mess. The naacp I don’t trust anyways, they were first created and ran by whites, it wasn’t until years later that they had black people holding higher positions within the organization. And they have received donations from a bank that has benefitted from slavery. and then there was this:
http://gawker.com/5978355/the-naacp-pretends-that-sugary-soda-is-a-civil-rights-issue
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@ Ebonymonroe
I remember that Dunbar village gangr@pe case, and I have to admit it is frightening to see the level of cruelty directed at black females by black males. In my city (Chicago) rape is at an astronomical level, yet if black females talk about it it is seen as an attack against black males.
Regarding what I said about “free will” — I will admit that I think we can make choices as to some of the things we say and do to each other and the things we won’t do or say.
what I find especially problematic is the GLEE of some black males when discussing black females’ hair — it is though they feel this is our Achilles’ heel and they kick it with all their might!
as though this will make them whole again
but it will NEVER turn a boy into a MAN
Kicking someone who is already down is NOT the path to manhood.
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skips over thwack’s comment and moves along to someone who does not engage in contradictions.
@ King
I could not agree more.
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^ applause, I agree with this part especially “discussing black females’ hair — it is though they feel this is our Achilles’ heel and they kick it with all their might!
as though this will make them whole again
but it will NEVER turn a boy into a MAN
Kicking someone who is already down is NOT the path to manhood”
Yep while they talk about that everything is happening to them, their hip hop is being taken over, they are being killed, incarcerated, etc, but yes focus on hair. I said it before and i’ll say it again, yes some black women have self hate, black males do too, but they get a pass. black women who relax their hair or wear weave its self hate, black man perms/ conks, his hair its not so bad. And the ones saying these things are the same ones chasing after these women with that hair. I think some of them just say they hate weave because they feel tricked, and they can’t tell if the woman has “good” hair or ” nappy” hair if she is wearing a weave. A lot of black females were taught at a young age to hate their hair, oh but lets not look at that as a cause for these women perming or weaving their hair. forget the fact that most black girls had just for me perm before they could read.
There are some that genuinely love natural black women, but I can usually tell because they praise natural black women instead of focusing on the manufactured black women. The same way these males can say black women if u didn’t give these no good males the time of day they’d change, then why can’t they take their own advice and realize if they would stop dating or giving the weaved up black women attention they would change.
Then on top of that i see and hear more black people praising people with a certain hair texture when they are natural, its like 3a 3c hair maybe 4a hair is acceptable but anything more coarser than that is not “good” hair. And they think oh u shouldn’t have went natural or u need something to tame it.
Until blackness if fully accepted not in it’s diluted or manufactured form but it’s natural form,this stuff will continue to happen.
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Thanks for the link TrojanPam. I will most certainly read it.
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I am going to dig up an article but a black female really broke it down to this new wave of black men. The purpose was to debunk this 70% of black females are single myth, but she really explores this mind game that black males are playing on the female psyche.
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King
@ thwack
You have a tendency to make pronouncements in very broad strokes. In fact, far too broad, in my opinion.
——————————————————————————————————-
At least I tell the truth.
It is you whom has gone to far!
I challenge you to a duel; smoothbore pistols at 10 paces.
Engard your churlish knave!
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It is late and I won’t be able to touch this subject the way I want to, but Ebony and mstoogood4yall I agree with both your statements. You bring up some amazing points in which I will quote and touch on tomorrow.
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@ King
Good luck with him and his “truth.” LOL
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In the mean time
Darn those red weave wig things.
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No one can resist a negro grammar error.
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@ thwack
I’d rather fence. I took that up in college.
I still have my épée and mask at hand for the occasional bout.
…and it’s “Engarde“, you vacuous ninny!!!
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@ Sharina
Thank you for bringing up that phrase:
MIND GAMES
By making black females feel insecure, the most unscrupulous (and terminally insecure) male can get black females to accept the bad behavior we normally would not accept IF we felt better MORE secure.
That would mean the end of supporting and feeding and housing and clothing and sexing and having babies with men who cannot or will not make a commitment.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
Could it be the main reason for all this “black female hair” talk” is it’s an attempt to feel powerful for males without any real power
aka — if I can make you feel SMALL, then I can appear LARGER?
Another excellent point you made when you said:
“he same way these males can say black women if u didn’t give these no good males the time of day they’d change, then why can’t they take their own advice and realize if they would stop dating or giving the weaved up black women attention they would change.”
I’ll go you one better
What if some black males stopped dating and chasing and sexing and marrying and wooing and ahhing over light-skinned, or bi-racial, or white, Asian and Hispanic women with long or straight hair
AND made black females with NATURAL HAIR their biggest SEX SYMBOLS — maybe the weaved-up black female would change.
How about that?
Maybe it’s time to put one’s COMB where one’s MOUTH is?
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(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhrZxSoLmgA)
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I don’t want to hog this blog but one more thing occurred to me as another possible motivation for all this black female hair bashing
GUILT (or an attempt to disguise one’s own foul behavior)
over the way some males know they have treated black females in the past and present
and if they can prove that black females don’t deserve respect or consideration or empathy (like making fun of their weaves?)
maybe, they’re not such bad guys after all for mistreating them
KINDA reminds me of the way some white people will bash and stereotype black people to justify their racist behavior in the past (and present)
cause, if they can prove that black people don”t deserve any respect or consideration or empathy
then, maybe, they’re not such bad white guys and gals after all
It must be something in the water
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@TrojanPam
The one thing they fear is the black male uniting with the black female whether it be in Africa or the Americas. That’s why they’re pushing IR relationships with white people HARD,
Sorry, but this is another excuse. You’re refusing to see that men are supposed to be the stalwart. If they’re not doing that, then men like that are not worth anything to women. The women need to show them that.
Some white people think it’s really sad when they see the way some black men treat black women, but this is why even sympathetic white people aren’t going to get involved. Black women continue to make foofy excuses. about this. Some of you act like you enjoy the mistreatment, like it’s foreplay. You excuse men who degrade you. It’s a game for some black guys. They wink at us while they show off with us how they can mistreat you and you will still like them. If white women were to try to get this Tommy man shut down due to his sheer putrid misogyny, his black women followers would attack us. This is why I don’t say anything like what I say here to my black women friends. I know they will turn on me. Meanwhile, it’s black men around them who are doing the worst to them.
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I challenge you to a duel; smoothbore pistols at 10 paces.
Engard your churlish knave!
I’d pay to see that! Legion can referee the duel. My money’s on King.
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…and it’s “Engarde“, you vacuous ninny!!!
Silence before I invoke the mighty Cthulu and Tommy Sotomayer on you!
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lmaoo @ Herneith
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@Jayis
“Black women continue to make foofy excuses. about this”
Some black women make excuses. I have heard of a group of black women actually attempting to get TS shut down. The result was he made a video bashing them. In fact most of his videos spend 15 mins talking about his “haters.” Now here is some ugly truth….white women are also followers of TS. So my question to you is…If there was another attempt at a shut down will there be enough white women support to accomplish this? Would you not still have these white women excusing him as well?
This is part of why I believe you carry so much issues talking to black women and find yourself not comfortable speaking your mind with your black friends. You want to lecture them on things that you are not willing to lecture white women on. You see one side as the black woman excuse but do not care to see the white woman excuse (which would be the majority). It actually goes both ways and would require both sets of women to stop excusing that type of behavior…would it not? Black men do this because even if black women stopped giving a flat out sh*t then the white women would still coddle him into this idea of he did good.
@Thwack
“No one can resist a negro grammar error.”—Nope. error usually is called out based on who engages in it. Could be you or the white dolt Bobby M.
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Here is the article I promised.
http://survivingdating.com/the-70-of-black-women-are-single-lie-exposed
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@Ebonymonroe
Your whole paragraph was truly spot on so I will try to narrow it down to the things that really rung true with me.
“I believe a lot of what happens is because Black women continue to paint these Black men as victims in what they’re doing when they’re not”
While I agree that white racism and supremacy play its part in the warped mind of certain black men, I have always questioned at what point do we as black women and the other black men hold them accountable? I stopped a long time ago giving those type of black men any love or respect and frankly I think more black women need to do the same. There is no excuse for the disrespect they show black women in order to uplift white women or any non-black woman that will have them. Someone said it and I think black women should take notice….when black men get into trouble they run to black women to help them. It is the black women that rally hard for them. Now I have black relatives that have married white women, but they do not and would never put down a black woman for these women and these women know that they better not even think to cross that line period. Though not all black men are like that and I frankly think the excuses that they come up are a load of crap. For example…my single mother is the reason I am a sh*tty person. This alone places blame on the black mother who likely broker her back trying to give him all she could while excusing the black man that was supposed to be there for him even if the parents did not marry. I know so many non-black men who do just that. They knock the female up, but they are there for their kids period.
*For those good black men on this blog please excuse me as I am referring to the dead beat kinds and not those that actually do give a d*mn)
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^^^Correction to the stat I posted above.
*I can’t be bothered to research it, but I think it’s somewhere between 60-70% not 75-85%
Yeah, unfortunately, White women are some of his biggest supporters. These men and White women should just hook up, live happily ever after, and leave Black women alone in peace.
@sharina
It’s simple, if 75% of Black women are married before 35, there’s no way they’re single. If the majority of Black women with oow children have been shown to be in common law marriages with the fathers, and the majority do go on to marry, Black women are not single.
As far as the natural hair thing, I agree with a lot that’s been posted. These men worship the features of non Black women, so of course Black women have adopted that look. I’ve heard Black men say they don’t like natural hair and then complain about perms and weaves. If they really cared, they’d be promoting a sista like Cathy Howse, with her Ultra Black hair line, the first and only Black hair care line that actually achieves length and health for Afro textured hair, but it’s not really about that, it’s just a put down. Perm sales have dropped, a lot of Black women I know are strictly natural at this point, while many White women I know will not give up the extensions even though it thins the hair. Truth be told, if every Black woman was natural they’d still find something. They won’t even take on things like the historical difficulties that have been there for Black women in employment. It’s the same with weight, they won’t address the fact that fruit and vegetable stores have been shown to be at greater distances from AA communities, they won’t talk about the economics of organic foods vs. gm foods. Because it’s only about put downs. They’ll praise Hispanic women, but won’t acknowledge that both the Hispanic community and the AA community are no.1 in obesity because of poverty.
Why? Because these are not some “conscious brothas” looking to take on and solve problems in their communities, it’s just about put downs.
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Yes @Sharina
Excuse us brothas like King as we put our hands on our hips and say it loud.
Another thing that sticks out to me is, why do these men who keep complaining about Black women assume that Black women want them? I’ve come across a ton of Black men on youtube saying what Black women need to do for them to want them, but I haven’t seen one I’d give the time of day yet. What makes them think they’re not having trouble because they clearly lack social skills, are physically unattractive, have too many oow kids, a foul attitude, unkind, broke, and possibly bad in bed? My man is fine and well adjusted so he can gets some when he walks me down the aisle, but as for these . . .. no I don’t think!
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@mstoogood4yall
“I’m confused myself, but I see it is different environments and parenting that plays a major role in all of it.. Back in my parents and older relatives time there was respect and parents were more on their kids and other people were allowed to discipline the child. It takes a village to raise a child and people back then understood that”—-You are spot on in this. I sat up a bit last night and thought about how my parents, uncles, and grandparents were raised. My parents had different parenting styles, but regardless of that they each respect women especially black women. The key thing I noticed is that there was never any excuse of bad behaviors. You got punished for it and you moved on. My grandfather would take moonshine across the river (I believe it was illegal) and when his father found out he beat the sh*t out of him and told him that if he was going to act like a man then he was going to beat him like one. My grandfather was hot mad, but his mother not once stepped in a coddled him after the incident. You better believe my grandfather straightened up and grew up the be a well respected man in his town and loved by most of the people who knew him (issues with blacks in his church because he became a bit of the honorary white type). My grandfather took this tough love approach to his own kids in which not one of them was coddled. You sink or swim, but neither my grandfather nor my grandmothers were going to hold their hand. My aunt (who is the youngest) was the only one that slipped in this. She was coddled extremely because my grandparents were too old for that tough approach.
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@ king
rofl, that cat in that movie lol.
@ sharina
interesting link, I think it’s important for people to research these studies that they do, because a lot of times they include things that are irrelevant just to up the number. I find it ironic that these males will quote those statistics about black women but will say oh no it’s not true that is bs when it is statistics about them. I don’t believe in most stats anyways, unless I can find some links to break down the numbers and i don’t have to wonder if they included somebody that shouldn’t have been included and they have defined what the terms mean to them. Single means different things to different people.
Sometimes i do feel as if people attack black women to have control over us, it is like the lesser of two evils or the good cop bad cop routine. It is like we are in the middle of a tug of war over our minds, bodies, and emotions. It is like some black males “warn” us about white men and the white media “warns” us about black men. It gets really lame, it’s as if we can’t make up our minds ourselves about who or what we want in life. it’s like we get stuck between white and black, like we are not human but property or something to be had/controlled.
I think some of these black males talk badly about black women because they know they have more opportunity to be with black women than other women. Lets be honest we know the white males have been able to have themselves in the media and be portrayed as the man, a gentleman, a knight in shinning armor, a prince. They’ve been able to use that to get with other women, and use the media to their advantage to secure other women. Black males don’t have that advantage, they are seen as criminal, thugs, bad fathers husbands, etc. Other women have a stereotyped view of black males and get told not to bring one home. as kiwi has said how some of his female relatives will say they are open to different men but will only be with white men. white is the default. These black males know that if black women were to just not be with them they’d really be alone, i;m not saying they can’t pull other women, i;m just saying that when it comes to relationships and marriage those other people are not always checking to marry a black person as much as they are a white person.
so some of them feel the need to keep black women in our place by talking down about us, hoping that we will “act right” and not stray and that other men will not view us as worthy. So in a sense they would have black women on lock.
disclaimer” i am not talking about all black men just the ones that bash black women but will sleep with, have kids with black women but not marry or love black women., And will turn around and respect, date/marry another race of women. So basically the black males that act like white males during jim crow of talking bad about black women and treating black women as a mistress and not a woman to be respected, loved, cherished, and a wife.
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@Sharina
110, man. There is no difference between these men and White supremacists. Learn to spot your enemies, you can’t progress with enemies in your very own camp. The lines have got to be drawn.
@Herneith
LMAO. Your comments always make me laugh. Always love your 2 cents.
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^^^
*they won’t take on the historical difficulties that have been there for Black women with natural hair in employment.
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And another thing, they go on about lace wigs when it comes to Black women, but they don’t talk about Gwen Steffani who’s worn lace wigs since 2005-6, or Jennifer Lawrence who wear lace wigs. I’m not big on the wig movement, the whole Wendy williams public wig parade is embarrassing for Black women in my opinion, but I notice they only talk about Black women.
Every with Miley Cyrus at the vmas, Tommy pegged her out as a victim, even though she’s 21, (when he’s quick to go in on Black female teenagers) and turned it all on Paula Patton.
He’s just mad at the world because he’s dark skinned and doesn’t want to be, and because he doesn’t have any eyebrows. But we’re not responsble for that, the whole world doesn’t owe this man an eyebrow.
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@TrojanPam
Trust me when I say you are not hogging this blog. It is good to hear from you when you come on here.
“Maybe it’s time to put one’s COMB where one’s MOUTH is?”—I agree on any talk dealing with natural hair. I think black women need to love it and enjoy it for what it is. I have gone natural and it is getting up on a year since I made this change and I have felt more fierce and powerful than I ever did with relaxed hair (could not do weave). I remember when I first wore my natural hair out and we were shopping and this black male said made the statement “someone needs some static cling” and he black female companion laughed. I smiled back, but out of anger I retorted that someone needs to consider a gym instead of worrying about my hair. I allowed it to get to me to the point where I did not care to wear my natural for a bit. I started back enjoying it again when my husband and I took a trip to Florida. I arrived with two strand twists, but before long the atmosphere and feeling at home around Hispanics and Jamaicans (who were natural) I took it loose and let it ride and have shown pride in it ever since.
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It’s all a lot of drama for the sistas. Quite traumatic, indeed. I tried to put this suggestion to Satanforce a while back, but he wasn’t having, but here goes: personally, I think Legion, Abagond, and King should post some nude, oiled pictures of themselves to comfort us and make us feel better.
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@Sharina
You see one side as the black woman excuse but do not care to see the white woman excuse
Okay, you’re using the “whites do it too” excuse. I’ll be quiet, but your reasoning is faulty. He’s not degrading or hurting white women in any way. This is exactly why whites don’t get involved in this. Blacks want to tell us where to go. I’ll be quiet.
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it’s odd how black women’s hairstyle becomes something else, some type of archetype; maybe abagond has been moving in this direction of investigatino with all the fashion threads etc. tommy gets stuck, i mean he will say a black girl with a weave is a ‘hair hatted hooligan’ on one day and on the next she is a negropean who is ‘cooning’ with an adopted hairstyle, and he has a white girlfriend,
take as directed with a grain of salt, oh wait he’s practically a D-list celebrity, that’s not possible, idk…
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@ sharina
“I remember when I first wore my natural hair out and we were shopping and this black male said made the statement “someone needs some static cling” and he black female companion laughed. I smiled back, but out of anger I retorted that someone needs to consider a gym instead of worrying about my hair”
the self hate of some folks is digusting. it’s even harder hearing dumb ish from family members, at least when its a stranger u can walk away and not deal with their dumbarse. Today my dad said my natural hair is getting thick then asked when or if I was going to get another perm, smh. My niece has a looser hair texture than me and he has complimented her hair and called it pretty, but mine, it’s always some bs of how do u like this woman’s hair on tv and usually the woman has a relaxer or something. and my dad is one of those men that hate fake hair, I’ve never had any weave and my dad has been adamant that I don’t get any nor do I have a desire too. But the hypocrisy is funny to me, imo a relaxer is more damaging than weave because its a chemical for crying out loud.
all I can say Is these black males need to look at themselves, they have self hate too, and they will compliment women or girls that have a certain hair texture while suggesting a relaxer or whatever to women with a tighter coiled texture.
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@Jayis
“Okay, you’re using the “whites do it too” excuse. I’ll be quiet, but your reasoning is faulty”—No, I am not using the “whites do it to excuse.” What I did do in that statement was point out what I felt YOU don’t care to see or do anything about. This is part of the reason why it is so hard to have a logical conversation with you. You get defensive and whine about every bit of thought that is brought to your attention. Have you ever thought for once that people are simply trying to express thought with you and not jumping on you? So frankly if that is how you choose to handled it then I think it is best that you do just simply stay silent. I don’t need you projecting your own ill manner on me. I have tried more than enough to have a conversation with you that involved some type of understanding and each time you just come off as rude and negative. You then go on this waa waa stage when people present a different view as if “how dare you correct me.” I will leave you to your own devices as it seems you are comfortable with them.
“Blacks want to tell us where to go.”—This statement was so amusing I had to laugh. You spent a full paragraph telling black women what they do or don’t do and what they need to do, but the moment something is pointed out to you you then call foul? Oh that is right…How dare this black woman tell me what I am doing wrong. Only I am to tell her what I assume she is doing wrong.
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@Ebonymonroe
“Another thing that sticks out to me is, why do these men who keep complaining about Black women assume that Black women want them?”—-I agree. Every time I see those men that feel this type of way I always think to myself….”I would never want you to begin with.” For the women that apparently do want them then I have to wonder if their head is on straight. I believe part of it comes from the resentment of wanting someone to want you that does not. They used to say a woman scorned but now the concern is a man scorned. They seem to be more deadly.
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@ ebonymonroe
I think the reason they focus on black women wearing weave and wigs is because it is not hair grown from black women’s heads. and the hair does not match black women’s natural hair texture. I’ve heard my uncles talk about how they don’t like weave but only think it’s ok if it matches the woman’s hair texture and color. So the woman that have weave down to their bottom with a different color is not cute to them.
and i’m not a fan of weave, but it’s mostly because black women buy it yet don’t control the market. I’ve read several articles about how black owned beauty supply stores go out of business because they don’t have weave, because the suppliers don’t sell to blacks. The Koreans have the real hair weave selling on lock they will threaten to boycott a supplier if they sell to someone that isn’t Korean, so the suppliers either don’t sell to blacks, or do it privately, and even when the blacks do buy the hair from the suppliers they can still have it taken back.
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@mstoogood4yall
Someone actually showed me a video that showed the effects of relaxers over the years. It was so scary, but I was not ready to go without my relaxer so it took a while to do it. Hopefully the situation with your father did not leave you to give up on it. Stick with it and ignore. For the older generation of men and women I think it is a matter of them being told that that is the right way to do it or the norm. It is the younger generation that I don’t find myself excusing all too much.
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The crazy thing is sharina I saw an episode of tyra or something and I remember seeing the can burned through from relaxer after a couple of hours, and u know what I excused it. I was thinking u know a relaxer isn’t on someone’s head that long anyways. But thank goodness I awoke and only had that mess in my hair for 2 years, it is sad to see some black women that have had it since they were a little girl. I had a just for me perm when I was either 4 or 6 but it took my hair out and my mom left my hair alone, but when I was 7 or 8 she put a jheri curl in it and I had that for a while. until I tried to return natural but didn’t know how so my aunt put a relaxer in my hair when I was 16 and then when I turned 18 I started transitioning from the relaxer, now I’m fully natural.
Even the natural hair community has self hate, u have the 4c hair women (im 4c) that will try to change their hair texture to be like 3c or 4a/ 4b hair. And a lot of the natural hair products are geared toward looser textured naturals, only a few I’ve come across cater to 4c and thicker coarser hair textures.
My dad will never discourage me to be relaxed. His opinion on these things matters little to me, my mom is way more encouraging, idk my dad has always been negative anyways, so I;m used to it.
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Oh and I agree the older generation has been taught certain things are the right way and they are stuck in their old ways no matter how toxic. I’ve learned to just accept them and try to ignore the craziness. The best thing people of the younger generation can do is observe and recognize the mistakes of older people to learn from it and try to do better. It is sad to see generations repeating the same mistakes, but if a generation can recognize those mistakes and change the actions to get a different outcome then a lot of things would be better and people wouldn’t have had to waste time correcting or dealing with mistakes they have repeated from the previous generation and being setback or stuck. I see some of the mistakes my parents and older sibling has made and I am trying not to repeat those.
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@Ebonymonroe
I agree. I think those type of men are really just looking for any excuse to claim black women as not good enough. I don’t know how many times I have come across the black men that will berate a black woman for things that they will praise or overlook on a white, Asian, or Hispanic woman. I just show them pictures of a white female doing it and see how quick they are to respond. Usually I get silence or they move on to the next thing they want to critique.
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@mstoogood4yall
“idk my dad has always been negative anyways, so I;m used to it.”—You have one of those dads too. I found out a lot of my dad negativity comes from his bitterness about his second wife. She is more controlling and vindictive than he originally though. He does a lot of things to please her and part of that is usually to critique me and my sisters, while praising her daughter.
“so some of them feel the need to keep black women in our place by talking down about us, hoping that we will “act right” and not stray and that other men will not view us as worthy. So in a sense they would have black women on lock. “—I see where you are coming from, but it has become so hard to forgive and overlook those black men that purposely hurt black women. In fact I know I just can’t. I truly feel that they expect us to excuse it. I do think black men (not all) need to be put under that microscope, but I feel that issues of black men need to be dealt with by black men who have their sh*t together. Men won’t listen to women as they take it as nagging, but perhaps they will listen to men who are wiser.
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That’s part of why I think black women just need to explore their options in the dating pool. For those black women that support TS….they seriously need help.
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@ Sharina
We have all witnessed the hair hangups of black females AND black males.
The difference is black males are NOT expected to have hair like white males in order to be attractive. In fact, they don’t have to have any hair at all.
While black females are pressured by black AND white society to NOT wear our hair natural. Black females with natural hair have been harassed by airport security, fired from jobs, denied promotions, and ridiculed by black and white people.
How can we — black people — have been here in this nation, under a white supremacy system for over 500 years and NOT know where our hair issues came from?
They originated during slavery. WE didn’t make up the word “nappy hair.” White people did. We didn’t hate our hair before we were slaves. That happened AFTER contact with white people telling us that our hair, skin, noses, etc were UGLY.
Here’s a quote by Malcolm X that I used in a chapter called “The Beauty Con Game” in all four of my books:
“When you teach a man to hate his lips, the lips that God gave him, the
shape of the nose that God gave him, the texture of the hair that God gave
him, the color of the skin that God gave him, you’ve committed the worst
crime that a race of people can commit.” – Malcolm X
They told us we were ugly for so long (hundreds of years) that we began to BELIEVE IT, so let’s put the BLAME where it belongs.
Instead of bashing each other and blaming each other for a hair issue WE DID NOT CREATE, we should be making the decision for our children that we will stop buying into this self-hating, anti-black madness and stop using words like “good hair” and praising and rewarding people JUST because they don’t look too black. Especially NOT in front of our children.
Most black girls have witnessed young black boys and grown black men lose their minds over the sight of a long head of hair and most black boys have listened to black females ridicule the hair of other black females and/or praise long or straighter hair.
Both of us have a role in perpetuating this problem, so let’s find a way to solve it so we can stop producing generation after generation of low-self-esteemed damaged black females.
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@TrojanPam
“Both of us have a role in perpetuating this problem, so let’s find a way to solve it so we can stop producing generation after generation of low-self-esteemed damaged black females.”—I agree. I admit that I don’t know where to begin in this, but having natural hair has been a great step in what I feel is the right direction.
I taught a lesson at church last Sunday about loving ourselves and as I think about it it really makes me realize that perhaps teaching black females and males to love themselves is the direction that many black mothers need to take.
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@ Sharina
I appreciate you for at least attempting to be part of the solution and not the problem. It’s super important to encourage young black people to love themselves — because this society has done its best to make sure they don’t.
From inferior schools (and blaming poor black children for failing) to criminalizing them for minor childish offenses (like a school yard fight), to giving black youth drugs and guns instead of jobs, to police harrassment/brutality/murder to pumping their brains full of anti-black rap music and videos
black people have a lot more important work to do — like saving our black children — than to find ways to bash and brutalize each other
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Here is another link I wanted to share on the matter of TS.
http://tommysotomayor.blogspot.com/2013/05/tommy-calls-for-his-white-fan-to-flag.html
This quote stuck in my head and I wanted to address so that it can be furthered explored.
“He’s not degrading or hurting white women in any way.”—-The reason this statement bothers me is because it comes off as “well he is not bothering me so why should I care.” Even if TS is not referring to white women, TS and men like him get fuel from white women who support this idea. Those type of black men seek white approval like they seek water and when a white woman is singing his all praise for degrading and hurting black women then I say they deserve just as much of the slack as the black men that freely engage in it. Although looking at white men and white racism is one aspect, I think blacks greatly underestimate the roles of white women in all this. I can be honest in saying I greatly underestimate it.
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TS and his followers and white racism are one in the same and I think we need to address those individuals the same as we address white racist.
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@Sharina
Okay, Sharina, so you want to get aggressive. Bring it! I can destroy all of your arguments. I know black women who think that white women can be bullied by them, but not me. I was simply providing another perspective based on experiences I’ve had around black men and black women. I’m not trying to lecture black women. You’re taking it that way, and that’s your choice.
For example, why would you even say this? This doesn’t make sense.
white women are also followers of TS. So my question to you is…If there was another attempt at a shut down will there be enough white women support to accomplish this? Would you not still have these white women excusing him as well?
Black men like TS praise white women and put us on a pedestal, so why wouldn’t some white women who need that praise follow him, coddle and excuse men who put them on a pedestal? Don’t you think some black women want to be put on a pedestal? It’s logical for women to follow men who praise them. Don’t you think? If I needed to be put on a pedestal, I’d follow men like him too. I don’t. You’re the ones complaining and confused about why do black men treat you so bad. I’m telling you why. This is not hard to figure out.I was simply saying to those black women who might see the sense in this that they shouldn’t excuse men who have kicked them to the curb but you think that’s lecturing. Obviously, some black women “need” some lecturing because here you all are whining about how TS and other black men degrade black women. The answer is simple. Stop making excuses for those guys. Hold them accountable for what they do. They’re not retards. I don’t need to whine or say waaaaaa. He’s not doing anything to me. He can’t.
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@TrojanPam
WE didn’t make up the word “nappy hair.” White people did. We didn’t hate our hair before we were slaves. That happened AFTER contact with white people telling us that our hair, skin, noses, etc were UGLY.
It started that way, but it’s black people who perpetuate it. Black people need to stop other black people from doing that.The average white people doesn’t see any difference in the hair that most black people have. It’s black people who constantly put each other down about their hair. My black girlfriend tried to explain to me what “bad” black hair is and what “good” black hair is. I still can’t tell the difference.The average white person can’t even perpetuate the “bad” hair and “good” hair thing even if they tried.
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@mstoogood4yall
I know about the corruption of suppliers, and sadly, it extends beyond weaves to all Black owned hair companies. Cathy Howse spoke on it in a documentary, as they would not stock her products in stores, so she is limited to her website. But do you honestly believe men like the Tommy Sotomayors are deriding Black women weaving weaves for this noble reason? I’m with v8 on this one. If a Black woman is wearing and perm and/or a weave, he tears her apart for wearing a perm and/or a weave. And if a Black woman is wearing her hair in its natural state . . .. he tears her apart for wearing her hair natural.
And besides, most Black women who wear hair weave, wear Yaki hair, which is processed to look exactly like permed afro textured hair.
I haven’t worn a weave since my teens, when I wanted to try highlights while avoiding the damage it does to your hair. I also haven’t permed my hair since my teens, and I never will again. Perms are the equivalent of drain cleaner, and eventually, it will clean your hair completely off your head, because it’s applied and pressed into the scalp and therefore, is absorbed into the scalp.
Side note: I highly recommend Ultra Black hair care for Black women. It’s the only hair care system in history proven to work for afro textured hair. It’s the only thing that has been able to bring my length to my waist, whereas in the past, I was only ever able to grow my hair midway between my bra straps and my bust, and that was only if I babied it like a mad woman. You should check out her website, and the (genuine) before and after pictures. The only downside is that it makes the hair extremely soft, and it makes my hair too straight to stay in braids, so there goes any “Brandy flights of fancy.” Ultra Black hair care, highly recommended! If not for you, then for your future daughters.
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BTW, one thing I really disagree with Tommy about is he keeps saying his girlfriend Lana is white; and she keeps saying it too.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I had a girlfriend like Lana and I grilled the hell out of her about the racial classification system in Russian and the Ukriane; and the only difference is its more sophisticated. I know the name white people called Lana in Russia; it means black, and its a pejorative.
I had it confirmed by another woman from Georgia married to a white guy here in the U.S
In Russia, the white people know they are white, and they let all others know they are not.
Lana may be able to fool most black people because we don’t get out much. But she can’t fool all of us.
Lana is not a white person.
Sometimes I wish the Klan would come back and start hanging black people again; it would clear up all the confusion real quick.
(((SMMFH)))
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Jayis
@TrojanPam
The average white person can’t even perpetuate the “bad” hair and “good” hair thing even if they tried.
——————————————————————————————————-
What are you talking about?
they do it everyday?
If I had a dollar for every black female who told me she perms her hair because “the white corporate world” can’t handle natural black hair… I’d be a millionaire.
I lay the problem squarely on the shoulders of white people. Black “hair care” is a HUGE industry and SOMEBODY is makin beaucoup bucks off black people; have you ever read the ingredients in those products?
Some of those words have 7 syllables; and its not even German! Thats probably where the breast cancer is comin from?
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@ sharina
“I do think black men (not all) need to be put under that microscope, but I feel that issues of black men need to be dealt with by black men who have their sh*t together. Men won’t listen to women as they take it as nagging, but perhaps they will listen to men who are wiser.”
I agree, and I have said before that I think the real men should call out these disrespectful males and the women call out the disrespectful females. I see a few on the blogs that do call these males out. Others either ignore or agree with it. It’s hard trying to distinguish the ones that silently agree from the ones that are just ignoring it but don’t agree.
But at the same time people need to ignore some of these lames because they are too lost and only cause chaos and disruption, the only way to do that is to completely lock them out of the discussions, meetings, etc. Like Jim brown was talking about kobe and he said some of these athletes we would not call on if we had to have a meeting. People are rewarded for acting up in our communities, they can talk bad about us and we still welcome them without them facing any consequences. Other people will shun somebody in their community in a heartbeat for talking badly about them or doing some destructive or embarrassing behavior.
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@Jaylis
No one here is whinning, understand? We’re on a blog discussing an issue regarding the matrix of racism the same way we do on other topics relating to race on this blog, and topics non related to race.
Quite frankly, Tommy Sotomayor does not represent all Black men, nor is the issue about “kicking to the curb,” the problem is the violence it has the potential to incite. I would not be interested in any man who was putting my on a pedestal by way of degrading an entire group of women. This problem with your approach is the patronizing tone you take. How can you turn and tell us hair problems are just about Black people? It’s not Black people firing the woman news anchor who was let go for having her hair in its natural state. You think just because you’ve hung out with a few Black people you can make sweeping judgments about the dynamics of the sources of our oppressions?
I don’t think what Sharina said was wrong, she simply said that although Black women may protest, the defense of his White women viewers will probably make any protests null and void, since White women are, well, White.
I do believe I’ve seen you make some other sweeping generalisations about Black people on this blog before as though you’re some kind of expert of Blackness as though we are some collective monolith. It simply can’t simplified in the simpleton way you’ve just broken a very complicated issue down.
You might as well skip it, because you don’t know what you’re talking about.
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@ Jayis
Are you a white person?
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mstoogood4yall said
“I agree, and I have said before that I think the real men should call out these disrespectful males and the women call out the disrespectful females. I see a few on the blogs that do call these males out. Others either ignore or agree with it. It’s hard trying to distinguish the ones that silently agree from the ones that are just ignoring it”
……………………………………………………………………………..
This is the problem. Although I have come across a few Black men who speak out about it, it’s not enough.
. . .. I just do me.
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@Ebonymonroe
But do you honestly believe men like the Tommy Sotomayors are deriding Black women weaving weaves for this noble reason?
No, they do it because they know that a lot of black women want them and black men like him don’t think black women want other men the way they want a black man. Black men like TS think that they are the greatest because plenty black women treat them that way. I know some people may think I’m “lecturing” but I see this all of the time.
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@ ebonymonroe
no I don’t think tommy or men like him are saying those things about weave because they care, a lot of them do it because they want to excuse their hatred of black women by attacking our features and choices. But these same males will want understanding for some of the choices they make.
ex: they attack black women for weave while overlooking the history and the way black girls are brainwashed from a young age to hate their hair, and some are afraid to see their real hair and don’t know what it looks like.
but when it comes to some black males behavior they want understanding and want people to look at the history and how they were raised as being part of the reason they turned out that way.
The black males that do really care, will usually make constructive comments and say that they love the natural hair of black women. But again even with some of them they only like a certain natural hair texture.
I forgot all about ubh products, I will look into her deep conditioner cuz I need one.
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@Trojan Pam
Yes she is, a White woman I assume. And although I believe her heart is in the right place, there are some parts of things she has joined in in discussing that she does not understand, but believes she does.
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I’m in the UK, 30% of Black women here marry out. This arrogance men like Tommy display could not fly over here. Sistas over here, we don’t play that. We will up and leave, please believe it.
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Calling black women hair hatted hooligans, how many times can that clown used the phrase hair hat? That is so tired. I swear that guy is such a toolbox.
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Another thing I’ve noticed is that even when it comes down to a Black man vs. a White woman, Tommy will begin berating the Black man. I believe Tommy wants to be a White woman.
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@Jayis
I have already made my attempt to have a civil conversation with you above in which you took it the wrong way. Destroy my argument, but that would first require you know exactly what they are. Thus far I have not really presented one but asked you questions (attempting a civil discourse) in which dismissed and started ranting about how you will keep quiet. I don’t mind if you are presenting another prospective, but when you make statements such as :
“You can get mad at me for saying this, but this is what I mean when I say black women defend this kind of black man who all of you say hates and hurts black women. You blame his behavior on white men. No, he’s responsible for his own behavior. You don’t think he’s responsible for his behavior and he knows you think this way. A lot of black guys know that black women will find a way to excuse them. I hear them and see them play with black women like that. I don’t think that black women really know black men that well.”
Or the one where you are telling TrojanPam she is excusing such and such behavior then you are lecturing. You are free to not see it that way, but that is what I see it as. Unless of course you are going to tell me you know TrojanPam enough to have some type of experience with her.
The whole paragraph you quoted, are a series of questions for your input (really more proof of my attempt at civil discourse).
“Black men like TS praise white women and put us on a pedestal, so why wouldn’t some white women who need that praise follow him, coddle and excuse men who put them on a pedestal? Don’t you think some black women want to be put on a pedestal? It’s logical for women to follow men who praise them.”—Don’t disagree with that but as per your comment you mentioned there are some white women that do not agree with this and you eluded to some white women willing to get him shut down but would only be met with the obstacle of black women who excuse TS. Thus my questions.
“I don’t. You’re the ones complaining and confused about why do black men treat you so bad. I’m telling you why.”—Sorry but I don’t regularly experience black men treating me bad to truly have many complaints or be confused about it. For those that do it is usually online and I frankly could care less. I don’t know them and they don’t know me. Plus so far you have not managed to tell me anything that I did not already know (I really just refused to say). So sorry that the white savior act did not work out. 😦
As to the remainder of your post I will excuse your confusion between discussing and whining. I provided a link to the definition so you can familiarize yourself with the difference. I also added lecturing as a bonus.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/whining
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lecturing
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bwhahaha.
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(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbZpUnKVRjI)
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFqNtKVixlA)
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRUQ-mWF4n8)
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@ Jayis
Had you read half our comments you would also realize that ebony and I have been having long conversations on holding those black men accountable.
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Ebonymonroe
I’m in the UK, 30% of Black women here marry out. This arrogance men like Tommy display could not fly over here.
—————————————————————————————————–
Have you seen English women?
egads!
I remember when the Spice girls came out; the black girl was the hottest one.
Just look at the royal family. the women always look underwhelmed and the males all got that “hero derp” look on their faces. They better deepen that gene pool (maybe thats what Diana was trying to do with Dody)
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I’m in moderation for links. But yeah, 100, as if Black men in our lives would be stupid enough to run all of that. I would say bye, bye. Most of these guys stick to the online community because they know they could not do that in real life. We have fathers and boyfriends and husbands and brothers. And, BLACK WOMEN TEND TO STICK TOGETHER. We are not to be toyed with in such a manner. But, tis getting late over here in the UK so I’m gonna have to love you and leave you ladies.
Goodnight.
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Yes @thwack
perms are 100% carcinogenic!!!
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And believe me, it’s not just Black women. As I’ve said before, my mum is Indian and White Irish, with curly European hair, and getting her off the creamy crack is a full time job.
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@Ebonymonroe
No one here is whinning, understand?
But Sharina said I was saying “waaaa.”
Quite frankly, Tommy Sotomayor does not represent all Black men, nor is the issue about “kicking to the curb,” the problem is the violence it has the potential to incite.
That’s what you say, but just notice the comments about Michael Jordan’s new twin children by a white looking woman. Be honest, Lots of black women think he’s kicked them to the curb and replaced them with a white woman.
I would not be interested in any man who was putting my on a pedestal by way of degrading an entire group of women.
I wouldn’t either, but lots of women and men want to be on a pedestal and they don’t care who’s kicked to the curb.
This problem with your approach is the patronizing tone you take. How can you turn and tell us hair problems are just about Black people? It’s not Black people firing the woman news anchor who was let go for having her hair in its natural state.
This is because black people as a group do not accept their own hair.
You think just because you’ve hung out with a few Black people you can make sweeping judgments about the dynamics of the sources of our oppressions?
I might live with black people for all you know. All “white” people don’t believe in racial classifications.
I don’t think what Sharina said was wrong, she simply said that although Black women may protest, the defense of his White women viewers will probably make any protests null and void, since White women are, well, White.
It is not lost on some of us why black men like TS do what they do.
I do believe I’ve seen you make some other sweeping generalisations about Black people on this blog before as though you’re some kind of expert of Blackness as though we are some collective monolith. It simply can’t simplified in the simpleton way you’ve just broken a very complicated issue down.
Okay, but this issue is not as complicated as that. Your black men are not sticking up for you. You can call it complicated, but other women don’t look at it like that,if it were the men of their group doing what your men do.
You might as well skip it, because you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Ah, are you the voice of authority? I was fine, I was actually going to get quiet and go away, until the attempt at bullying started.
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don’t pay attention to racism/ white supremacy. ignore the history. no the behavior happens because u allow it to, forget whoever created it in the first place. white people don’t even know what nappy hair is anymore, it is black people that keep the nappy hair stereotype going. forget that don imus called black women nappy headed h(). and forget the black women fired for their natural hair. Oh no the whites never even knew what that word was until blacks brought it back up.
Black men have kicked us to the curb so it is time to join with the white feminists to kick their arse all the while ignoring the role racism/ white supremacy has in this.
U know what I noticed? the black people that bash black people and have their white partner or friend co sign, ever notice the whites never bash other whites but will join in on blacks bashing each other.
white media tells black men, black women are crazy and they emasculate u. white women tell black women, the black men abuses u and hates u, u have been kicked to the curb. hmm now if that ain’t some suspect bs Idk what is.
my take is this is the cause of racism/ white supremacy and it is maintained/ reinforced by some sellout brainwashed black people. we can deal with the tommy’s by ignoring/ shunning, and we deal with racism/ white supremacy by countering it and learning to recognize it. we have bigger fish to fry, tommy is just the tip of the iceberg, he cannot keep black women from having a job, going to school, having kids, getting a house or car but racism/white supremacy can.
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@TrojanPam
Are you a white person?
I don’t actually believe in “racial” classifications. Do you?
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(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YE_O5vP2f8o&feature=c4-overview&list=UUqvOlTWZqd2_tB-08HlcRLA)
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@ Ebonymonroe
I suspect Miss Jayis knows a lot more than you give her credit for. I believe she is doing what many white people do when they interject themselves into a black dialogue
for example, she said:
1. “It started that way, but it’s black people who perpetuate it.”
(SHIFT the focus away from white people by encouraging black people to bicker among themselves)
2. “The average white people doesn’t see any difference in the hair that most black people have.”
(she’s being DECEPTIVE because she knows what other white people say about black people. Remember Don Imus and his “nappy-headed h*o joke? And the white shock jock who said Representative Cynthia McKinney’s hair looked like a Brillo pad?
Of course white people KNOW the difference between our skin and hair and theirs. In fact, they are OBSESSED with the differences.
3. “It’s black people who constantly put each other down about their hair.”
(encouraging black people to “get at” other black people by pretending white people have nothing to do with our problem)
4. “The average white person can’t even perpetuate the “bad” hair and “good” hair thing even if they tried.
(She’s being deceptive — again. Of course white people perpetuate beauty standards — they control ALL the media and the images that define beauty)
Jayis is practicing white supremacy — in my opinion — for the above mentioned reasons. That’s why it’s important to understand white supremacy and how it’s practiced, especially by “well-meaning” white people.
Because you will find the same patterns (MIND GAME) over and over and over again
1. Deception (LIE)
2. Redirection (shift blame away from white people to their VICTIMS)
3. Promote “gang fights” between black people, in this case black males and black females.
4. White Innocence (pretend to be ignorant about racism. White people are NOT ignorant about racism)
5. Create confusion about whatever is being discussed when black people attempt to find solutions to our problems
Her posts to me make all the sense in the world now.
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@ Jayis,
I will answer your question AFTER you answer mine.
Are you a white person?
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Ebonymonroe said
Quite frankly, Tommy Sotomayor does not represent all Black men, nor is the issue about “kicking to the curb,” the problem is the violence it has the potential to incite.
Jaylis said
That’s what you say, but just notice the comments about Michael Jordan’s new twin children by a white looking woman. Be honest, Lots of black women think he’s kicked them to the curb and replaced them with a white woman.
…………………………………………………………………………………….
This is what I’m talking about. Talking about Black people like we’re a monolith. I don’t care about Jordan, I didn’t even know he had new twins. You assume we’re a monolith of one opinion. Now you’re beginning to get pathetic.
…………………………………………………………………………………
Ebonymonroe said
I would not be interested in any man who was putting my on a pedestal by way of degrading an entire group of women.
Jaylis said
I wouldn’t either, but lots of women and men want to be on a pedestal and they don’t care who’s kicked to the curb.
Ebonymonroe said
This problem with your approach is the patronizing tone you take. How can you turn and tell us hair problems are just about Black people? It’s not Black people firing the woman news anchor who was let go for having her hair in its natural state.
Jaylis said
This is because black people as a group do not accept their own hair.
……………………………………………………..
Did you not hear a thing we just said about Black women being fired for wearing their natural hair? And if perm sales have dropped, and the fact that you don’t know every Black person in the Western world, how would you know what Black people do and do not accept about their own hair? Have you met all of us? You must have done a lot of travelling in your time.
………………………………………………………
Ebonymonroe said
You think just because you’ve hung out with a few Black people you can make sweeping judgments about the dynamics of the sources of our oppressions?
Jaylis said
I might live with black people for all you know. All “white” people don’t believe in racial classifications.
…………………………………………………………….
It doesn’t matter whether or not you live with a few Black people, who have already displayed your ignorance on this blog more than once when it comes to Black people. So whether or not you live with Black people does not mean you’re an expert on all things Black, or that you know every Black person inside and out because they happen to be Black and you’ve met a few human beings in your life that also happen to be Black. Here you go showing your Whiteness. It’s all full display with these ignorant assumptions justified by the fact that you know a few, or you’ve lived with a few Black people. You’re getting offensive but you’re too ignorant to even realize it.
………………………………………………………
Ebonymonroe said
I don’t think what Sharina said was wrong, she simply said that although Black women may protest, the defense of his White women viewers will probably make any protests null and void, since White women are, well, White.
Jaylis said
It is not lost on some of us why black men like TS do what they do.
…………………………………………………………………
Where does it come from Jaylis? Go head, please educate my on this social pathology of internalized White supremacy that you must know of. Let me see you educate, since you know so much.
……………………………………………………………………..
Ebonymonroe said
I do believe I’ve seen you make some other sweeping generalisations about Black people on this blog before as though you’re some kind of expert of Blackness as though we are some collective monolith. It simply can’t be simplified in the simpleton way you’ve just broken a very complicated issue down.
Jaylis said
Okay, but this issue is not as complicated as that. Your black men are not sticking up for you. You can call it complicated, but other women don’t look at it like that,if it were the men of their group doing what your men do.
…………………………………………………………………….
I do believe I just posted a small few of a great number of videos of Black men who have taken Tommy to task. It doesn’t matter what other women think, you worry about your own business. Black men do not have the microphone to shut things down the way White men do. It’s YOUR WHITE MEN who have partnered with this man, despite a huge number of complaints from both Black men and women. I’ve come across tons of Black men who hate what this man does, but they have no choice but to ignore it because youtube just allows Tommy to recreate an account anytime he’s shut down. Maybe that’s a part of the picture you didn’t spot as a White person pointing the finger at Black people, young lady?
………………………………………………………………………………
Ebonymonroe said
You might as well skip it, because you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Jaylis said
Ah, are you the voice of authority? I was fine, I was actually going to get quiet and go away, until the attempt at bullying started.
………………………………………………………………………………..
I’m sorry Jaylis, as I said, I believe your heart is in the right place. But you’re not being bullied here, you just don’t have a clue about what you’re talking about and have displayed that more than once thus far while trying to kick “deep knowledge.”
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@thwack
If I had a dollar for every black female who told me she perms her hair because “the white corporate world” can’t handle natural black hair… I’d be a millionaire.
Did it ever occur to you that she wants to perm her hair but prefers to hide behind white people? It’s so easy to blame white people. She knows it’s “acceptable” and more believable to blame white people than to just admit that she doesn’t like her own hair. I would think the corporate world wants hair to be neat, clean, and doesn’t go for ostentatious hair styles, but I don’t believe that they have a device for measuring how straight a black person’s hair is.
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Jayis
@TrojanPam
Are you a white person?
I don’t actually believe in “racial” classifications. Do you?
————————————————————————————————-
May I chime in?
Thank you.
*Chime*
Your honor, may I approach the witness?
*Granted*
Thank you.
Ms. Jayis,
Do you KNOW if YOU are a white person?
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thwack
I know the name white people called Lana in Russian; it means black, and its a pejorative.
I had it confirmed by another woman from Georgia married to a white guy here in the U.S
———————————————————————————————————
Found it; the word is: Chernyy, and it means “black”. The woman from Georgia said “thats what they call us”. Now you know me, I went to court on that *ss; I started asking questions. She’s standing right in front of me, slim, dark hair (some nap to it) She pretty much looked like Lana except taller.
I started off asking her for an example of an event where someone called her “chernyy” (what Im really asking her is what is it about her physically that makes a “them” call her black)
She didn’t want to give ME that information. BTW– this is at an anti racism seminar sponsored by her white American husband at their house.
First she tried to say it was because of the way she talks. Being a Georgian and not a Russian, indeed, her language could probably give her away. So then I said, “what if you just don’t say anything as you shop at the supermarket.
She said THEY still call me “chernyy” (black). So I asked her to give me an example of such an event she experienced. And she did. She said while walking down the street a car drove by with a bunch of drunk Russian guys and they yelled a set of insults out the window which included “chernyy’ i.e “you black bitch…”
So I asked her once again; “what is it they saw in your morphology that causes them to call you black?”
I
Never
got
an
answer.
She avoided that answering that question for the rest of the night. She went around the world talking about all kinds of stuff but REFUSED to answer that question:
I don’t know?
could be anything?
my clothing
phases of the moon
thimbles
ham sandwiches…
You know what I think happened? I was taking her to the “abyss”. And forcing her to look into it and see,
Herself.
And she was NOT going there. She thought this was gonna be a fun academic exercise about racism, a way to pad her resume’; like it was for her white husband. I was forcing her to tell me what physical characteristic she had that would prompt the racists to hang her from a tree.
A she would not tell ME.
She acted like she didn’t know, but I think she did because it would be like me saying I didn’t know why a white person called me a reggin.
Sometimes I suspect this is the reason why everybody KINDA likes black people. By serving as a “racial floor”, we keep white people from focusing on each other as possible candidates for mistreatment based on color.
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Like we as POC have a choice under a white supremacist society, like the USA. I don’t notice race until I interact with a white minded individual.
@Trojan Pam
She’s white. LOL! Thanks for shutting that nonsense down and spreading The Truth.
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@Ebonymonroe
you’re not being bullied here, you just don’t have a clue about what you’re talking about and have displayed that more than once thus far while trying to kick “deep knowledge.”
That “bully” comment was said to Sharina who came at me the way she did when I thought we were just having a conversation.
If you consider it to be “deep knowledge” for me to say that black women might come out ahead a lot more with black men who dish foul at them if they stopped making excuses for them and following them, then your deep knowledge is not my deep knowledge. Just a hint. So if I don’t have a clue, I’m not the only one.
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@Ebonymonroe
It’s YOUR WHITE MEN
And don’t blame me because black women don’t know how to handle YOUR BLACK MEN.
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Jayis
Then if I bullied you you need to take the transcripts of this comment section and report me for bullying. Though you are going to have a hard time convincing anyone because it is frankly all in your head. Example skit:
Jayis: She came at me
Quote from conversation: has it occured to you someone is trying to have civil discourse with you.
Judge off the record comment: chick is delusional.
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What jayis presented was white woman tears. She tried to present herself as the victim of a situation when the only thing she was presented with was an alternative situation to her own. Ones that asked questions. The hostility she claims she is getting from me is simply in her mind. A projection of her own feelings.
Furthermore notice how she refused to answer any questions? @abagond randy will attempt to answer questions so I can’t fairly compare him to this chick
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@Trojanpam
Well said.
@Ebony
I don’t believe she is well meaning. Dave is one that I consider well meaning. Though naive he seems sincere. We have different views but we can agree to disagree. Jayis is simply trying to tell you what it is across the board. She beli3ves she is schooling you on black men. Though not sure why we need to be schooled on black men. So here is where I am stuck. If we have decided to ignore that type of black man and say to hell with him; then why is she upset because we are not taking her advice on how to deal with good black men? Oh that is right “I know a lot of blacks” logic. Lol
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Sharina, knock yourself out trying to analyze me with your opinions. You know what they say about those.
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@ Sharina
I meant to comment on something you said earlier
“Although looking at white men and white racism is one aspect, I think blacks greatly underestimate the roles of white women in all this. I can be honest in saying I greatly underestimate it.”
You are ABSOLUTELY right. Black people often refer to racism as though it is a white male problem and make the mistake of seeing white females as marginal OR as victims, too.
BIG MISTAKE
The white female is his partner in the system of racism/white supremacy; his CO-CONSPIRATOR. Otherwise, the system could not function so efficiently and we wouldn’t have people like George Zimmerman WALKING FREE after murdering 17 year old Trayvon Martin
Remember, most juries that unfairly convict innocent black defendants OR let white people go free after killing or vicitmizing black people are made up of at least 50% WHITE FEMALE.
if you look at WHO benefited the most from Affirmative action? White females.
If you look at WHO is climbing the corporate ladder the fastest? White females
If you look at WHO holds many of the most important decisions in the entertainment media that continues to degrade black people and promote racism and casts black females in an inferior light? White females
Who is the NEW chairman of the Federal Reserve? A WHITE FEMALE.
She is no innocent bystander. She has ALWAYS played a key role throughout the long history of white domination/oppression and in fact, has been given more power today because of the increasing DEMANDS of people of color for a piece of the pie
And she is known for coming into a house, a workplace, a black club, a black family, and even a thread like this and
CREATING DISSENSION, DIVISION AND CONFUSION
Be aware
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@jayis
No different from your opinions except mine do not generalize they just focus on the actions you display. So pot I am not offended when you call me black. 🙂
Ps still waiting on you to destroy my argument or is that a no go now?
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Correction:
If you look at WHO holds many of the most important decisions positions in the entertainment media that continues to degrade black people and promote racism and casts black females in an inferior light via “rap” (rape) music, TV shows, movies, and casting TV commercials with no black females in them? White females
If you doubt this, check out this annual tally of the most powerful people in (racist) Hollywood
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/lists/hollywood-reporters-2013-women-entertainment-power-100-664497
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Oh and jayis…my “opinions” of you so happen to be proven by the fact of the statements above. I would quote then but I am sure ypu can find them and read.
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@ Jayis
I see you’ve ignored much of the conversation aimed at you, in particularly the question I and thwack asked you.
I expected as much.
The good (or great) thing is I don’t need you to respond to me for me to continue to analyze (EXPOSE) what I think is your REAL agenda on this black thread
All I have to do is REPOST some of your choicest comments and let them speak for themselves:
Like:
“And don’t blame me because black women don’t know how to handle YOUR BLACK MEN.”
(when in reality, it’s WHITE FEMALES who are HOWLING the loudest about their own inability to “handle” white males. That’s why things like “NOW–the organization for (white) women exist), and why there are so many domestic violence shelters in the U.S. (they D sure didn’t create them for black females, come on now)
I had to ask myself, WHY would a white female (like Jayis) come on this black topic thread and spend so much time and energy to try to convince black females to “go after” black males?
AND then when asked a simple question–like, “are you a white person?” she refuses to answer it? If she was operating on GOOD FAITH, why would that be a problem? If she asked me if I was a black female I wouldn’t dance and skirt and skimmy around the question BECAUSE I HAVE NO HIDDEN MOTIVATIONS.
Why won’t Jayis do as much? I don’t have to answer that, I don’t think….
And I think thwack hit on something else, when he said:
“By serving as a “racial floor”, we keep white people from focusing on each other as possible candidates for mistreatment based on color.”
I would suggest everyone go up several posts and read his comment about the Russian woman from Georgia
What I have found out recently in the last several years is there are all types of “white” people, and some are NOT truly considered “white” by those white people who decide who is white.
That’s why you have terms like “the black Irish” and why so many white immigrants from eastern europe and certain other “regions” faced so much discrimination during the 1800 and 1900s.
And that is one reason (like thwack said) that white people play a TON of games about “whiteness” and TRY TO KEEP THE FOCUS ON BLACK PEOPLE — and what is wrong with us
so they can fly under the “whites only” radar without undue notice.
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@ Sharina
I think there is a ton of evidence that proves Jaylis is not “well-meaning”
She seems to be here for the SOLE purpose of instigating dissent between black males and black females
because this “tactic” is all over the Internet, white trolls starting FLAME WARS between black males and females
and entire websites (like the ones that PRETEND to be black-owned) posting articles that start FLAME WARS
And a handful of Tommy Sotomayors who get PAID to pour more gallon on the fires
Black people must start being smarter.and start peeping this game. We don’t have to like or love every black person, but at some point in TIME, and that time is coming faster than we realize
we will have to UNIFY for our mutual protection and survival in an increasingly hostile nation
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Trojanpam
I will respond at lenfth to your post when I can. I agree with all you have said and I have a lot I want to touch on. We had a major ice storm and nothing is currently functional. I am surprised to have cellphone service.
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I’ve answered the question about my “race” on here twice before. Does Abagond require that commenters say their race every time they come here? Any other personal information?
You can think I’m your worst nightmare, but some black women reading this know that there are a lot of TSs and his pals out there and they’re not all on YT.
Just go ahead and keep blaming what they do to you on me.
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Jayis is a male.
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Smh
They are getting blamed for what they do. It just bothers you that the white women who encourage and engage in it are getting blamed too. Though a hit dog will holla and you are cracking ear drums.
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No one is required to give out any personal information.
Particularly since
a) most such information is unprovable;
b) it mainly winds up getting used to support an (often unspoken) ad hominem fallacy
and
c) leads to mass deletion of comments (because someone gave out too much personal information online).
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@ lifelearner
who said, “Like we as POC have a choice under a white supremacist society”
I agree 100%
White people won’t LET us forget about our racial classification.
that’s why I don’t play that “why do we have to talk about racial classification” NONSENSE from them.
Because they are being DECEPTIVE and in all likelihood are RACISTS.
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@Jaylis
I’m starting to arrive at the question of, what on earth does this have to do with you? And I cannot find any reason as to how this is your place.
First of all, I and many other Black women here have in no way made excuses for the behaviour of the likes of the Tommy Sotomayors. They’re not my brothers, in the same way you’re no sister friend of mine, though you clearly think you are.
Sadly, the largest amount of $e)( offenders and pedophiles are found fight in the White male community.
The largest divorce rate is between Black men and White women.
And the no.1 killer of White women are their Black male partners.
Perhaps it would be wise to begin sweeping around your own front doorstep, since you’re obviously failing at protecting your own children from your own men, and have been shown to be unable to handle Black men, to boot, before you try finger wagging at an entire race of women.
Sadly, what a lot of you White women don’t seem to realize is that a large number of these Black men are just using you as pieces of meat. I have seen it a thousand times before. Even with my ex and my partner now. They use you “to get back at the White man” and for 0ral, and then when all is said and done, 88% of them choose Black women as their wives. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen a Black man who is quick to disrespect and degrade the White woman he’s with, and as soon as he’s with a Black woman, he’s quick to humble himself and be respectful.
In both my last and current relationship, it was a White woman who was quickly kicked to the curb for me. I’ve come across smart White women who realize this, and have kicked up a fuss about the way many of these Black men talk about them like they’re “things.” Obviously you’re not one of them.
“White women do what you tell them,” “she got on my nerves, so I told her to leave the club and go sit on the couch and stay awake until I got home, and to my amazement, she actually did it,” “they drop to their knees as soon as you click your fingers.”
I’ve seen brothas from around the way with a White girl who is used for $*)(, while he is trying to convince the sista from around the way to say yes to marrying him. I’ve seen them giggle while relaying stories about all the things they allow them to do.
These damaged y0utube hate preachers are the ones we don’t want, who you take on and end up killing you. I noticed Tommy was as giddy as a little boy with Caramel Kitten, but she used him for money and bounced. Because Black women don’t want his kind as a partner. Since the majority of Black women make up his audience, who, as I said, I suspect follow him around to see what awful thing he’ll say next, Black men are a very small amount of his audience. And White women and men are an even greater amount. I’ve come across his Black male commenters who go to videos of Black women in interracial relationships who lose their minds at the videos, and beg them to come back. I’ve seen his Black male followers complain about Hispanic women who treat them like rubbish, the same way Black women do. It’s all about the fact that no self respecting woman wants these men. And no Black woman will give them respect, so they find love and acceptance amongst your kind. They’re the ones we throw away.
I have personally come across about 60 Black men in the US and the UK who desperately want the likes of Tommy Sotomayor band, and there was a movement called 100,000 Black men against Tommy Sotomayor online, which included just that . . .. 100,000 Black men campaigning to get Tommy Sotomayor banned. There was a website set up by a number of Black men dedicated to countering his rhetoric by reassuring Black women that the majority of Black men do not feel this way, and that they do in fact love, respect, and cherish Black women. There was a recent rally of thousands of Black men against domestic violence in the South. Why aren’t your men rallying against pedophilia in the White community? There have also been a great number of videos on y0utube of Black men taking Tommy Sotomayor to task, but he sends his subscribers to flag the person’s video, until it’s removed by y0utube (who are owned by White men). No matter how many complaints Black men and women have made, they continue to partner with this man and refuse to hear the complaints regarding his online bullying of anyone who disagrees with him. I have even come across Black men on y0utube making apology videos to Black women for the behavior of these Black men, and reassuring them that Black women are deeply appreciated by most Black men.
I do believe at this point that you have begun to derail the thread with your foolishness. Such as, alluding to the idea that high profile stories of Black women being fired form their jobs for having natural hair, being made up and “an excuse.”
I will not be responding to any of your future posts on this board at all. This is the second time I have seen you come in with your offensive sweeping generalisations. You ought to watch over your position because a recent report showed that many African American women are overtaking you in pay. You can have these strange creatures, just give me the money. I believed your heart was in the right place at first, but I now believe Sharina is right, you have a weird motive here. I believe you come here to gloat at the spectacles of mentally diseased individuals who were once members of the Black community.
Bye, bye now, Jaylis.
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Ebonymonroe said
“This problem with your approach is the patronizing tone you take. How can you turn and tell us hair problems are just about Black people? It’s not Black people firing the woman news anchor who was let go for having her hair in its natural state.
Jaylis said
This is because black people as a group do not accept their own hair.”
U know what this sounds like the argument people come up with when a black person is killed by a white person. just substitute the words and it sounds the same. Black ppl don’t accept themselves so why should we, black people kill each other so why complain when they are killed by somebody else. That is the thing, the black people that do accept our hair may get penalized for it.
If all black people accepted ourselves we’d still not be fully accepted by others, no matter how much money u have, where u live, what u drive, how u dress, u can still be rejected for something u cannot control. If it is all about money, how u carry yourself, loving urself, and being educated, then why do the black people that are hardworking, love themselves and their communities, still end up followed in stores, looked at as suspicious and still get killed by the cops. why did henry Louis gates still get arrested, he loves himself and his community, he has money, he’s educated, he’s never killed anybody, he lives in a nice house.
It’s more than loving oneself that causes others to respect u and not bother u, it also takes standing up for urself and not allowing others to disrespect u. Black people can embrace our natural hair, not kill each other but if others still have their hateful mindset it won’t matter what we do. I think brothawolf posted a link to a white newswoman saying something about blacks smoking less weed than whites yet getting arrested more and she said something about well they need to stop smoking it. Its like we have to be perfect to not be disrespected, while others can make mistakes and still be respected.
And another thing, I read somewhere that black soldiers were made to sit at the back when lena horne was performing while the white german prisoners of war were allowed to sit at the front. now if that ain’t some bs idk what is, but no it’s the black people’s fault how dare they serve their country
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@Abagond
The only reason why this was brought up, is because Jaylis began alluding to her superiority as a White woman and their control over their “good White men” vs. creatures like Tommy Sotomayor who she seems to think represents the majority of Black men. No one brought it up until she did. No one cared.
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Sharina, the way black men like TS treat white women and the way they treat black women is not the same. Big difference, but you already know that. It’s common knowledge.
White women who engage in anything with TS type black men are routinely pedastalized and made to feel like prizes a lot of the time. Black women routinely get their group degraded by TS types. Isn’t this post here to talk about how TS and his pals degrade black women? Are you saying that white women should be “blamed” for allowing black men to treat them like they’re prizes? What world do you live in where anyone turns that down? I hope no black woman will say that they wouldn’t allow a man to treat them like they’re a prize if it means another woman loses out. Don’t expect anyone to believe that. Go ahead and find an exception.
I was just saying that black women might come out ahead if they stop with the excuses, stop enabling it . That’s all I have to say.
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@ Jayis
Of course you don’t have to answer questions but when you’re dialoguing with people you should expect them
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@ Sharina
I heard about the ice storms and power outages. Hope you’re able to stay safe.
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@jayis
Please take the time to quote exactly what it is I actually disagree with you on and then quote what it is I agree with you. This recent post is filled with things I agreed on that you seem to believe I don’t. What I am actually a bit annoyed about is the fact that when I asked you some questions you took it as an attack on you.
And if this is going to become a circle of explanation I think I am done because most of this information can be found above.
As a side note..black women and white women who excuse the likes of ts and his kind are all the same to me. Each a part of the problem but in different ways. Each to be dealt with the same.
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Ebonymonroe
@Abagond
The only reason why this was brought up, is because Jaylis began alluding to her superiority as a White woman and their control over their “good White men” vs. creatures like Tommy Sotomayor who she seems to think represents the majority of Black men. No one brought it up until she did. No one cared
—————————————————————————————————-
Thats why I suspect Jayis is a white MALE.
White women won’t work this hard to prove they are superior because they just don’t have to. In all my time battling white racists on the web I have never once been able to engage in an extended “gun battle” with a white female racist.
They don’t do that because they don’t have to; its too much work. They know how to “neutralize” the black male and it doesn’t involve; debating for hours on end, shouting, name calling…
White women don’t run around the internet doing what Jayis is doing.
Why?
Because they know they don’t have to.
Matter of fact, when I go to anti racism seminars and the discussion starts to get “heated”, its the white women who say the least.
Think about why they do this?
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TrojanPam
@ Sharina
I heard about the ice storms and power outages. Hope you’re able to stay safe.
——————————————————————————————————–
And to all you “strong independent black women” out there, make sure to lift with your knees and NOT with your back when shoveling snow.
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Thwack
I will remember to pass that on to my husband as his completes his duty as a man.
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@thwack
No, I doubt she’s male. White women always behave like this towards Black women; condescending us. You’re male, you wouldn’t know that, partly because you and the Tommys spend most of your time condescending us so much that you don’t hear another condescending voice insulting Black women above your own.
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No, silly girl, I remember coming across a conversation over Ice Cube’s song “Cave b!+ch” which is a song about the inferiority of White women to Black women. And the Black female commenters specifically said that they wished he didn’t praise us by way of degrading a whole race of women. But that’s the difference between Black women and White women. Matter fact, that’s been the historical difference between White people and everybody else. End of.
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Ebonymonroe
@thwack
No, I doubt she’s male. White women always behave like this towards Black women; condescending us. You’re male, you wouldn’t know that,
—————————————————————————————————-
I understand that white women practice racism against black females (while smiling at black males) just not like this on the internet in the form of a female pissing contest.
Please let me explain:
ALL females are at a serious communications disadvantage on blogs.
Why?
Because they are unable to deploy their greatest asset; their LOOKS. White women aren’t going to waste their time fighting about race in a forum where they are stripped of their greatest weapon?
Especially on a black female.
White people are very efficient. The white women, IF she spends any time going back and forth with another person on the internet, its going to be done with black males.
She already has the white males in the bag. If she gets the black males, she can basically ignore black females altogether.
Maybe that is why you like arguing with this “girl”.
Look at it this way, in a system of white supremacy white girls know they don’t hafta do no fighting because regardless of who wins, they are confident of being chosen by the winner to share in the spoils.
Its that simple.
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^^^
*(which is owned by White men)
Lastly, just to clarify, (since I seem to have to justify and explain my participation in the discussion for some folk), I did not come here with 2¢ worth of complaining about how Tommy Sotomayor’s rhetoric degrades Black women. That pretty much goes without saying. But rather, to state that I do not make excuses for his kind and see no difference between him and White supremacists who are White. In an ideal world, I think the Tommy Sotomayors should be done away with, just like the KKK, and the top 1% rich who implement White supremacist systems and institutions. I would not be standing beside the likes of Tommy Sotmayor just because we’re the same race, no matter what. He would oppress me the same way as the 1% if he was given that kind of institutional power. And he would create an environment where I’d be abused as a Black woman the same way White slave owners did, and the same way the KKK did, if he was given the kind of influence and free reign they had. Make no mistake about it. So I don’t see how anyone could accuse me of making excuses these creatures because I haven’t, I don’t, and I never ever will.
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“I was just saying that black women might come out ahead if they stop with the excuses, stop enabling it . That’s all I have to say.”
_ _ _
An excuse and a reason are not necessarily one and the same, even though there are individuals who will try their darndest to use a reason as an excuse.
A while back there were several comments which had the effect of excusing Black men from protecting Black women and from even acknowledging Black women in the workplace, because, as it was claimed, white men disallow Black men from doing these things. A couple of the Black male commenters seemed to welcome this as an excuse for their lack of regard for Black women, as they actually made statements in agreement with such a subordinating and emasculating claim as “the white man won’t let me” song and dance.
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Sharina
Thwack
I will remember to pass that on to my husband as his completes his duty as a man
—————————————————————————————————
“Theres one born every minute” — W.C Fields
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Stating that certain Black men are behaving in a dysfunctional manner based on a centuries long assualt to their very being is not an excuse; it is a reason. Acknowledging that there is dysfunction and that it stems from some *thing* / somewhere (doesn’t all dysfunction?) is the first step in dealing with the dysfunction. So many of these types of Blackmen seem to think that their disregard blaming and outright hatred of Black women is entirely normal. That kind of bitterness is as damaging to themselves as it is to the actual targets of their venom.
Too, some of the Black women with whom these dysfunctional men have come across are not without blame in this scenario. It however needs to be acknowledged that Black women are also victims of a centuries long assault to their very beings, and some most certainly do act out against their children, the men in their lives, themselves and each other because of this fact.
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“That kind of bitterness is as damaging to themselves as it is to the actual targets of their venom.”
_ _ _
In some cases, it is probably even more damaging to the men themselves, since, and even though I myself am a target of their hatred, it does NOT affect my own sense of self-worth, as I look askance at the men themselves who attempt to break me and other women down. In my case, I must say, it is not going to work.
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@ Pay it Forward
who said, ” So many of these types of Black men seem to think that their disregard blaming and outright hatred of Black women is entirely normal. That kind of bitterness is as damaging to themselves as it is to the actual targets of their venom.”
I wholeheartedly agree.
And you can see this irrational behavior and nasty sniping right here on this thread,
and the pathological, almost sociopathic resentment toward black females and even toward black males who have some concept of what being a MAN is — like assisting their women.
I think the venom you speak of is actually MORE damaging to the host than their targets — and this is what is so maddening to males like this.
That they don’t even have the POWER to devastate someone who is just as inferior as they believe themselves to be (the black female).
Too bad they can’t put all that energy toward the people who are really harming them
But, of course, that would take REAL courage and integrity, and sadly, that is in short supply nowadays.
In my opinion.
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@ Pay it Forward
who said: “It is probably even more damaging to the men themselves, since, and even though I myself am a target of their hatred, it does NOT affect my own sense of self-worth, as I look askance at the men themselves who attempt to break me and other women down. In my case, I must say, it is not going to work.”
—
AMEN, Sister. Once you have confirmed who you are (a powerless bully), why would I give your verbal attacks any merit or credibility?
Like someone once said to me: “Once you show your azz, I can’t pretend I didn’t see it.”
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Astute commentary, Trojan Pam, and more eloquently phrased than I myself can manage.
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Pay it Forward
Dare I to disagree, I find you highly enlightened and eloquent 🙂
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@TrojanPam
I believe it was pure gloating. These individuals seem to get a kick out of men like Tommy Sotomayor’s behaviour. All one came here to do was say “they worship us, and not you, aren’t you mad about that?” And one assumed, as you said, that it would be a relaxing diversion away from the part White people play in all this, including Black women. Like a wolf trying to send the sheep into a frenzy so they’ll attack one another. Such tactics are better suited to the brainwashed and damaged likes of the Tommy Sotomayors, not confident, well read Black women, who know who they are and know all the hands that rock the cradle. Puhlease.
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@ Ebonymonroe
The funny thing is, with all this worshiping going on why are so many non-black-female people so worried about black females?
Why write articles about us?
Why post comments about us?
Why make a youtube channel about us?
If black females are such a big pile of “nothing” why waste precious time bashing us?
It doesn’t make sense
Unless “those people” need need us to feel inferior just to feel okay about themselves…
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@Pay It Forward
Stating that certain Black men are behaving in a dysfunctional manner based on a centuries long assualt to their very being is not an excuse; it is a reason.
I’m just curious. Are you saying it’s a “justifiable” reason. I’m not trying to argue, just trying to have a conversation. I see no reason to argue on the internet. So, if you’d rather not have this conversation with me, just say so or please don’t respond. I would respect that.
I find this area of discussion interesting because if one of these men does something entirely harmful to someone you care about, do you excuse it based on this “assault to their being.” I’m just asking. The Columbine shooters had “reasons” why they killed. So did the shooter in CT. Would you suggest that their reasons be accepted?
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Pay it forward
Have you read your comments? I think you are d*mn good at getting your point across.
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And it’s not just individuals doing it but corporate entities, like the Psychology Today article about how black females are the “least attractive”
and people like Rush Limbaugh and Don Imus and other white shock jocks calling us nappy-headed and making fun of Michele Obama’s butt, etc.
And an entire rap music industry is devoted to fowling our images and sexuality
Ridiculing black females have become a national pastime
which would make any reasonably intelligent person wonder
What is it about black females — the first women and the most FERTILE woman on the planet — such a threat to so many non-black-female people?
I have my theories but I’ll leave it at that
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Thwack
Everytime I see you post it is clear reminder that one apparently born every minute. Though you know nothing of me it amazes me that you have decided what type of woman I am and what type of man my husband is? Obviously more of a man than you, but clearly besides that point.
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Perhaps you can tell me why it is black men like you get jealous when they hear a black woman is married?
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@TrojanPam
Didn’t you know babygirl, we’re becoming a threat? Black women are beginning to out earn White women, we’re no.1 in university enrollment, surpassing everyone, even Asian men, and we’re now approved loans and mortgages as easily as White men. Look it up sista. Let these strange creatures and these White women do their thing. These kinds of ladyboys posing as Black males and White women are suited to one another, they’re both second in hierarchy in their communities.
As I said, take these creatures, I want the money and the power. I’m quite happy for them to continue being the most used group in p0rn, I don’t want that spot. Give me the money and the power, give me corporate positioning. Gimme, gimme, gimme!
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Trojan pam
That is actually my theory. They need someone yo feel less than them in order for them to see themselves as worth anything. It is that “there is always worse than me” mentality. A mentality I found stems from jealousy. They can’t have what I want because they are lower than me attitude.
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@thwack
thwack said
Look at it this way, in a system of white supremacy white girls know they don’t hafta do no fighting because regardless of who wins, they are confident of being chosen by the winner to share in the spoils.
Its that simple.
…………………………………………..
No, I’m a Black woman so I know and have encountered how White women operate towards Black women, online and offline. And I have come across White women engaging with, and even making videos patronising Black women, a lot. No one here has spend an extended period of time fighting with anyone. I gave her a chance by explaining why her points caused discomfort, and then when she continued to be unwilling to be open to why, I called it a day and explained why in a post. It’s only you who spends your time fighting with White people and insulting Black people on this blog.
@TrojanPam
I hope you’re catching his 2¢ as we engaged with this woman. If you think these cats wouldn’t st@b you right in the back while you’re trying to fight a war against White supremacy, you have missed the picture. There can be no uniting with this kind. There will have to be sects of Black people who will unite to claw their way out of it for the sake of themselves and their descendants.
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Ebonymonroe
And I have come across White women engaging with, and even making videos patronising Black women
———————————————————————————————————-Thats why I specifically mentioned the blog format. Hot girls are the least wordy when it comes to text based communication with strangers.
Why?
because its too much work compared to the results they can get when people can see them. In a way its kinda true for all females, not just hot ones. Its difficult for a woman to translate and transmit her beauty into words; which is why the charge of “sexism’ gets thrown around on the web so much. A big chunk of female power gets nutered when everything goes digital. Women used to be mysterious and innocent. Porn has shot that all to hell.
(((SMMFH)))
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…or is it just simplistic?
For one thing you’re taking about an internet discussion, so what spoils? Do the winners get a few extra electrons that they can then spend on White girls?
And secondly, I’ve made this argument 1000 times on this blog, but I guess I must make it once again.
Race categories are mere conveniences. They are just ways of referring to millions of people in a single swoop. It’s called “category classification” but everyone fits into many many categories. You can be White and handicapped. You can be Black and a Billionaire, you can be Asian and a male sex symbol.
YOU CANNOT USE YOUR SIMPLISTIC RACE CATEGORIES TO DETERMINE THE ACTIONS, THINKING OR VALUE OF “INDIVIDUALS”
That is not what these broad categories can do. They can only speak in sweeping generalizations about large groups. Once you get into individuals, there is no predictive or evaluative power in race category.
So, for instance, a White girl who has been fat all her life, is probably not thinking, how she’s got it all together because hey, she’s WHITE! All she need do is kick back and wait to be chosen by the winner to share in the spoils!
And every Black woman isn’t cowering in some corner thinking how tragic it is that she will never be chosen to share “the spoils” with anybody.
Your attempts to use race to predict personal behavior, appeal, or experience, is once again, both racist and stupid.
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‘Your attempts to use race to predict personal behavior, appeal, or experience, is once again, both racist and stupid.”
Race realists do the same thing. They think that predictive human behavior based on race is a science when its a logical fallacy.
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Anyone who believes in the individually predictive power of race IS a real racist.
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@ Ebonymonroe
One thing I greatly admire about black females is our resilience in the face of all this. We are the most maligned people on the planet — the ones who exist with the LEAST help and almost NO empathy — even from our own people
YET we keep trying to rise
raising our babies — alone, if necessary, put our daughters AND SONS through college, get degrees, raise our grandbabies, bury our children before their time, ride the buses to prisons and put money “on the books” for all the black males in prison
because WE ARE THE MAIN ONES THEY COUNT ON — NOT THEIR “HOMIES”
I can’t tell you how many black females I know who work two jobs to put food on the table, wearing ourselves out, taking care of everyone
and often, receive little credit OR gratitude as some of our own “people” use us as “punching bags” to impress the white folks.
That takes a LOT OF STRENGTH
That’s why I think some (not saying all) people envy the strength of black females — and I’m not saying we’re superwomen or that we don’t need men or other people.
We are not superwomen — and we do need other people
BUT in the face of all we’ve endured from slavery up to today, I wonder how many of our detractors (many of who are already on drugs, depressed, suicidal) would be able to stand with the weight we carry on our shoulders?
I don’t think they could do it. Maybe, that’s why black females have the LOWEST SUICIDE RATE when compared to white males, white females and black males.
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@ Sharina
who said, “They need someone to feel less than them in order for them to see themselves as worth anything. A mentality I found stems from jealousy.”
—
I see your point. I have encountered a lot of the same kind of jealousy for no reason apparent to me seeing that I’m just like anybody else, trying to make it.
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This post reminds me of the Jill Scott “How You Feel” The song talks about how would these black men feel if all the black women just disappeared. I was listening to this on my way home on my ipod. It really fits with post.
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*How It Make You Feel*
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@ ebonymonroe
who said, “I hope you’re catching his 2¢ as we engaged with this woman. If you think these cats wouldn’t st@b you right in the back while you’re trying to fight a war against White supremacy. There can be no uniting with this kind. There will have to be sects of Black people who will unite to claw their way out of it for the sake of themselves and their descendants.”
—
You are absolutely right. I already have some of the marks on my back to prove it.
And you’re right, you cannot “unite” with someone who secretly (and openly) despises other black people. Ultimately, they will get what they have earned, but will probably blame someone black for their sorry end.
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Yes, thwack’s rhetoric is both racist and sexist. He assumes beautiful women can’t and/or won’t take the time to be articulate online, because beautiful women only use their looks, not words.
Why did I bother engaging with this guy again? I won’t make that mistake again.
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@ mary burrell
I tell you what would happen if black women just disappeared.
Black men would LOSE THEIR MINDS — because they need us, just like we need them.
Black males have always been able to count on black females even when no one else gave a D — and deep down I think many know this, but like most things, when something is too available people take it for granted and some go so far as to devalue that which is so easily given
No, I’m not saying black females have never let black males down but can they honestly say that when they are down and out and need help that we aren’t the FIRST and sometimes only people they come to for help?
How many black female bashers are LIVING under their BLACK MOMMA’S roof and eating her food right at this moment? Especially in light of the sky high unemployment rate among black people, in particular, black males.
I mean, like really? Black females ain’t S?
I don’t believe THEY believe that.
What did OJ Simpson do when all the white people started chasing him with brooms and ax handles?
he called his BLACK MOMMA
And whose the first person most black athletes call first after they sign their first million-dollar sports contract? (from what I’ve heard)
THEIR BLACK MOMMAS
And when something bad goes down and they need help, who do most black males call?
It D sure ain’t the ghost busters
And it ain’t their homies who probably helped them get into the jam in the first place
And it’s not their white lover (unless they giving up something sexual in exchange)
No, it’s “MOMMA!” and she’s almost always a BLACK FEMALE
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King
Your attempts to use race to predict personal behavior, appeal, or experience, is once again, both racist and stupid.
——————————————————————————————————–
The most powerful motivating force among people in the known universe is racism. ALL people in the known universe are either REACTING to the racists, or REACTING to people who are REACTING to racists.
The 2nd most powerful motivating force among people in the known universe is sex. ALL people in the known universe are either REACTING to sex, or REACTING to people who are reacting to sex.
Based on the power of those two motivating forces, I stand by my predictions of human behavior.
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True!
So don’t try it.
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@ King
ok lol
(and thanks)
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Stop discussing this self hating loser! Trust me, he will end up like OJ Simpson, broke and in jail because all of his White lovers and the system landed him in there.
End of discussion.
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@ Trojan Pam; @ Sharina
Thank you for your kind words. 🙂
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Tommy Sotomayor is not unique. He is an example of the law of compensation. The energy put into preventing the revelation of truth produces the very thing it is trying to prevent,
truth.
Its the racists who produced Malcolm X, Farahkan…
Its the homophobes who produced the militant gays
Its the capitalists who produced the communists
Its the Isreali army which produced Hamas and Hezbollah…
Its the corporate music industry which produced punk rock
When ever there is a problem, and you try to crush discussion of it; you only make it stronger.
Especially if you try to personalise it onto one man.
They killed Jesus, but look how huge Christianity is today?
Thats the law of compensation; to make up for whats missing.
Information only requires a medium for storage or transmission, otherwise, it is still “out there” and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
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@ Thwack
Your totally CONVOLUTED LOGIC can be turned on its backside, with its SOFT BELLY UP
For example:
A racist could say (and has said) that ‘black miitiancy’ produced white racism.
And a sexist could say (and has said) that women demanding to be treated equally produced sexism
People can say anything they want — but that doesn’t make it a “TRUTH”
The VICTIMIZERS always blame their VICTIMS
Because Victimizers are SOCIOPATHS and LOSERS — who are angered when the people they are mistreating protest their mistreatment and fight back
The major problems that face the black male in america — from what I can see (correct me if I’m wrong) are:
1. inferior education
2. unemployment
3. police brutality
4. unjust incarceration (not all incarceration is unjust, however, some have EARNED the right to be in prison)
5. black on black violence
6. addictions (drugs and alcohol that cause early disease and death)
7. mental illness and depression (caused by all the above), which sometimes leads to
8. suicide
Now, out of all the ABOVE, you would think an INTELLIGENT black male who wanted to solve those problems
would NOT be focusing on black females AT ALL
he would be focusing on the (white) people who CREATED THOSE PROBLEMS for him
Cause I can’t think of a SINGLE BLACK FEMALE who:
1. controls the educational system in america
2. controls who gets hired and who gets fired
3. controls any law enforcement agencies
4. controls the penal institutions
5. who is shooting up the streets and killing black males (that’s mostly black males engaging in black on black murder)
6. who owns a single pharmaceutical company or any large or small planes flying in drugs or making crack in the laboratory
But we KNOW who does control all the above but I know going after white folks can be pretty darn scary for Tommy Sotomayor and his small RAG-TAIL army of supporters
Then, again, I keep forgetting you’re not looking for solutions (counter-racism, notwithstanding) — you’re looking for a SCAPEGOAT to blame so you won’t have to STAND UP LIKE ATTEMPTED MEN AND SOLVE YOUR REAL PROBLEMS.
So you think black females (or maybe all females in general) should shut up and be your doormats so you can feel better about your oppression.
Well, IT AIN’T HAPPENING. I AM NOT ROLLING OVER FOR ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY WILL BUILD THEMSELVES UP BY STEPPING ON MY BACK.
Your “law of compensation” can “produce” a million Tommy Sotomayors and you will all find yourselves in the same leaky boat you’re in right now, drowning in the roiling waters of white supremacy
The only difference is — if your type KEEPS targeting black females for abuse and ALIENATING US, you will find yourself BY YOURSELVES — without OUR HELP – and you will surely DROWN and never be heard from again.
And, perhaps, that is exactly what needs to happen.
God speed.
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TrojanPam
So you think black females (or maybe all females in general) should shut up and be your doormats so you can feel better about your oppression.
————————————————————————————————
No, I think they should challenge him by raising questions designed to reveal truth.
The best question being (the one I always use to shut down white racists):
Tommy, if YOU were a black female, what would YOU do?
The last thing in the world they should do is try to shut down his channel; that only makes him stronger. Look what happened when they tried that with Farahkan, Jesus Christ, Gandhi…
(BTW–this is a VERY effective counter racism technique in the work place whenever you have a white person who wants to attack you regarding the way you perform your work. They know that if you ADVISE you, they will then be unable to attack your technique. Therefore, they will often just leave YOU alone and go find another black person to attack who won’t ask them that question)
*be advised*
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@ thwack
How do you know black females haven’t challenged him with those kind of questions? If you’re so into “truth” why don’t you do it?
Your solution to his anti-blackness is to ask questions. I guess if you ask a rapist questions designed to reveal truth while he’s raping you, he’ll have an epiphany, too,
Sotomayor is not interested in truth. And neither are his small band of rag-tail supporters. They are looking for SCAPEGOATS, so they can dump all that internal poison down someone else’s throats.
And since black females are the ONLY people and things on the planet (and I’m not including gerbils and small rodents) these males are NOT terrified of
tag, we’re it.
Like that old saying, boss gives you H at work, you come home and kick the dog and beat the wife. That saying exists FOR A REASON.
I or some other black female could turn around and create a similar channel targeting all black males but you know why we don’t do it?
BECAUSE IT DOESN’T SOLVE A SINGLE PROBLEM BLACK PEOPLE HAVE.
and it’s exactly what white people have TRAINED US TO DO. Be simple-minded, petty, ignorant, self-hating, anti-black, Pavlov dog, fools.
And that’s what we are if we allow ourselves to be pulled into a fight with each other where NOBODY WINS.
That’s like being trapped in a burning building surrounded by a mob that set your house on fire, and instead of figuring out a way to get your family out of that house or at least put some of the fires out
black males and females are arguing over who left the toilet seat up
and in the meantime your CHILDREN ARE DYING from smoke inhalation and burns.
This attempted sexism on the part of some deluded black males is a MAINSTAY in the black community. This is nothing new — only the INTERNET makes it possible for FOOLS to spread their internal poision across the globe.
I’ve read your comments on this thread, many of them nasty, sniping and definitely anti-black female — even to the extent that you would ridicule the idea that someone’s husband was a “sucker” because he is helping his wife (a black female) by shoveling the snow? What was that about??
perhaps you should take your own advice, look in your OWN mirror and ask yourself some questions that will reveal your own “truth”
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@ Thwack
One more thing.
You alluded to some idea that black females “produced” Tommy Sotomayors and others like him, right?
Here’s a question for you: What black males “produced” the black females who produced the Tommy Sotomayors?
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TrojanPam
@ Thwack
Here’s a question for you: What black males “produced” the black females who produced the Tommy Sotomayors?
——————————————————————————————————-
The white man.
did you stop reading your code book Pam?
Tommy never uses the word, but his entire “shtick” is basically a criticism of hypergamy.
Its a real biological phenomenon possibly hardwired into the female DNA or adapted as an evolutionary advantage…
I guess he doesn’t realize white people coined a single word to describe the entire problem?
then again, the ultimate goal of any talk show is to keep on talkin.
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@ King @ Michael Jon Barker
Good comments on race realist thinking.
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@Trojan Pam and logical others (King, Pay it Forward, Sharina, Ebony…)
I’m starting to think that men who complain of “hypergamy” really want to be women.
Biologically, men look for women who are at the peek of their fertility (meaning she is 45 and under), while women look to mate with men who are slightly older than themselves, financially stable (for the purpose of supporting her offspring with him)…
It’s a WIN WIN situation for everyone involved–unless of course a man really wants to be in a feminine position?
I could be wrong though!
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@thwack
“Tommy never uses the word, but his entire “shtick” is basically a criticism of hypergamy.”
that’s wrong, he loves to talk about using prostitutes in order to have NSA sex, ie not to deal with the attitude, pay up and brush them off, goodbye!
you should watch some of his liveleak streams, not just the yout*be stuff, which is mild in comparison.
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v8driver
@thwack
you should watch some of his liveleak streams, not just the yout*be stuff, which is mild in comparison
———————————————————————————————————-
I don’t watch Tommy, YOU DO.
AND,
you’re a white man.
So lets review; a white man is telling a black man to watch Tommy Sotomayor. The white mans name is v8driver, the same v8driver who CLAIMS to love black women…
hmmmmm?
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*correction to fully explore TS’s twisted and confused message in all its facets, you should do more research, which unfortunately can only be done by watching more of the same
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I got drawn into TS videos by seeing them shared on something like a “sweet brown” (aint got no time for that) meme group on fb, which is when i was really starting to see what that represented by people commenting here. At first it was like he would have a fairly engaging ‘ratchet fight’ or some such as the centerpiece for his segment, and he would expand his philosophy, calling it Tommy News Network or some crap.
Nowadays, you’d be hard pressed to find anything like that, it is mostly just him monologuing on … well, no need to go back into that all.
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@thwack point taken by the way, but if you don’t watch TS and don’t know anything about what he is saying, therefore how it affects people, why are you commenting on this thread?
dude that is the definition of a troll, QED
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phoebeprunelle
I’m starting to think that men who complain of “hypergamy” really want to be women.
——————————————————————————————————–
Wha?
Not at all. The complaint is actually against the well known historical pathologies associated with unrestrained hypergamy; liberalsim, democracy, pornography, homosexuality, sloth, laziness, ignorance…
ALL ancient cultures and some even today maintain/ed strict controls and limitations on female behavior.
Why?
Because without them the culture will decay, the civilization will collapse and a stronger HEALTHIER culture will invade, take over, kill all the men and make the women and children into slaves and concubines.
*be advised*
(PS– phoebe, next time spare yourself the complex explanation and just call me gay)
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@Trojan Pam
Standing O. I think a lot of it for Black women is not that he hasn’t been banned, but that this movement actually exists. There’s sjp, Tommy, about 10-20 other Black male y0utubers with the same message, the diary of a tired Black man movie and website, and Black men vent, as well as this philosophy being prevalent across tons of sites online. Freedom of speech is cool, but when you’re inciting racial hatred (and potentially, violence), it’s a problem. Why isn’t the focus on a love for non Black women as opposed to racial hatred aimed at the gender of a race?
Tommy is a White supremacist, straight up. As I’ve said, he says 99% of BLACK MEN and Black women are no good. As well as “whenever I’m around White people, my life goes smoothly, but as soon as I get around Black people, my life becomes ruined.” He just focuses in on Black women. He took Zimmerman’s side and chose to mock Trayvon and his mum.
There was a young Black girl k¡lled by one of SWP’s followers, this is my issue.
But when all is said and done, you’re right, these men are not taking on their real problems that you’ve listed, none of which Black women control. If Tommy or any of them got in trouble, I would not be there, and I doubt most Black women would. This is why I’m so firm in my stance of never uniting with this kind, whether we share the same race or not. They’re enemies and oppressors just the same, just not on an institutional scale. I’ve seen racist White men degrading Black women while these men join in and encourage them. There’s no difference. Let the fish fry.
Lol @phoebe
As I said, when it’s between a Black man vs. a White woman. Tommy berates the Black man, even if the woman’s in the wrong. It’s possible that Tommy wants to be a White woman
@Legion, King, and Abagond
So, I’ll take that as a “no?”
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@Trojan Pam: Thanks for responding, and you were spot on.
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It’s funny how redundant it is when these kinds of men who spend so much time degrading and mocking Black women, try and scold White men when they believe they’re being anti Black woman. Pure hypocrisy
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@ thwack
Oh, I see. When asked about the black male’s responsibility in “producing” you bring up the white man…but I didn’t hear that argument when it came to black females.
Hmm…
And now you’re asking ME about reading the “code book” trick?
Where was your codebook when you said the following?
—
“And to all you “strong independent black women” out there, make sure to lift with your knees and NOT with your back when shoveling snow.” — in response to me wishing Sharina would stay safe in the ice storm
And when Sharina said, “I will remember to pass that on to my husband as his completes his duty as a man.”
Your response was: “There’s one born every minute” — W.C Fields
Basically calling Sharina’s husband a “sucker” for helping his wife.
I guess I won’t get a response to that…
I said what I have to say.
All this doubletalk and insincerity is giving me a headache…
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@ phoebeprunelle
It does appear that something strange is happening in the minds (and pants) of any male who spends a great deal of time blaming and slamming women he has never met in person.
Maybe, it’s all the hormones in the food. Who knows?
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@ ebonymonroe
who said, “But when all is said and done, you’re right, these men are not taking on their real problems that you’ve listed, none of which Black women control.”
I agree but I bet MONEY that if Tommy got in trouble, he would wind up going to a black female for help.
Unfortunately, there are some males hiding behind the banner of “counter-racism” whose REAL BEEF is they are not allowed to share in the spoils of a white supremacist, male dominated society — and would oppress black females if given the opportunity
Let’s be real about that. They have no interest in JUSTICE — only in “just us”
As compared to black males AND black females who SINCERELY want no one to be mistreated by anyone.
Of course, I don’t believe Tommy Sotomayor and his supporters represent most black males. Thank God the black males I love and respect are nothing like this.
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@ mary burrell
I was trying to remain civil, but sometimes, enough is ENOUGH.
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TrojanPam said,
@ ebonymonroe
“I agree but I bet MONEY that if Tommy got in trouble, he would wind up going to a black female for help.”
He was bragging about his tour out to Vegas and LA that his mom was paying for everything.
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@ v8driver
wow…
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Trust me @TrojanPam
Despite raising a very obvious contradiction in your post above, it will be side stepped or ignored. I’ve had two debates online with that type and they don’t have their philosophy though out, it never makes sense. The idea of blaming everything on White people when it comes to Black men, while removing that reasoning from Black women is the nonsense that is consistent. Even data doesn’t match up with anything they say about Black women. They just use random footage of bad apples as confirmation bias just like their daddies the White supremacists. So I don’t even bother to waste my time. One who subscribes to a religion without critically thinking all the obvious angles of the doctrine through, and researching to fact check the ideas, is not someone mature enough and intelligent enough to engage with as two adults.
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“Black males have always been able to count on black females even when no one else gave a D — and deep down I think many know this, but like most things, when something is too available people take it for granted and some go so far as to devalue that which is so easily given
No, I’m not saying black females have never let black males down but can they honestly say that when they are down and out and need help that we aren’t the FIRST and sometimes only people they come to for help?”
That is the truth ms pam. These males like tommy are of no use, while they are bashing black women and black murder victims, black women have been getting petitions signed and getting things shut down. From that book deal of the gz juror, to making a petition to shut down the gz fight, to starting businesses.
And the real black males know these males like tommy are a distraction, while males like him go on about black women, white men are taking over things they’ve created and phasing them out. I won’t be surprised when hip hop becomes like rock n roll and people say no blacks didn’t invent that what are u talking about. Black men have been getting shortchanged for their contributions, but no let’s focus on black women’s weave, nails, attitudes, etc. Forget about the black inventors, black athletes that sacrificed, and stories of black slaves escaping doing cleaver things such as disguising themselves or sailing themselves to freedom.
U got black youth out here calling each other the n word and allowing other non blacks to call them that word, and not knowing their history, got rappers disrespecting the legacy of important black people from emit till, to Malcolm x, to mlk. And some of the youth have never even heard of these people or know what they did.
A lot of these males have black women they depend on be it their mother, sister, aunt, or grandmother.. And a lot of them have kids with black women and they project how they feel onto black women. U never miss ur water till it runs dry. I say let them go, let them think the grass is greener on the other side, we’ve always had deserters and people that will leave when things get tough and return when it is calm again. Then there are the ones that will backstab and change directions, so they can be on the winning side. all I can say is choose carefully. Some of them are loyal to white folks and the racists, but when it comes to black people oh no they can’t deal with that.
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@ Ebonymonroe
I hope that people reading the posts see the contradictions and decide not to buy into such a blatant double standard.
Black females are not immune to oppression. We are not immune to street violence, or fatherless homes or racism or unemployment, poverty and inferior schools.
Our girls are suffering just like the boys from self-esteem damage YET there is no nation wide call to “save our black girls.”
It’s as though some people expect — no DEMAND — that black females be super strong, I guess, so we won’t ask them for any help (or compassion)
and when we do overcome our circumstances, graduate from college, buy a home, or achieve any level of success, we’re resented and labeled
“strong independent black women”
It seems like a no-win situation.
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@ mstoogood4yall
And the real black males know these males like tommy are a distraction, while males like him go on about black women, white men are taking over things they’ve created and phasing them out. I won’t be surprised when hip hop becomes like rock n roll and people say no blacks didn’t invent that what are u talking about. Black men have been getting shortchanged for their contributions, but no let’s focus on black women’s weave, nails, attitudes, etc. Forget about the black inventors, black athletes that sacrificed, and stories of black slaves escaping doing cleaver things such as disguising themselves or sailing themselves to freedom.”
—
I see the same thing, that black people are literally being written out of our contributions, for example, a friend called me today and said Robin Thicke and some other white performer got the TOP R&B awards rather than a black performer and I was like, Say what?
But, I wasn’t surprised. We focuse on the superficial (EASY) stuff aka “What is wrong with other black people” stuff
so we won’t have to look at the hard stuff and face the FACT that we have a hard road ahead of us and sooner or later, we will have to drop the nonsense, gather some courage and DEAL with it.
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@TrojanPam I will try to find the video where he thanks his mom for fueling and financing him, he was staying in various hotels across the land making his videos with all kinds of hi-tech stuff…
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v8driver
@TrojanPam I will try to find the video where he thanks his mom for fueling and financing him, he was staying in various hotels across the land making his videos with all kinds of hi-tech stuff…
——————————————————————————————————-
Of course a white man has to step in and try to discredit any black male that trys to DO something about a problem instead of COMPLAIN about it.
Tommy Sotomayor is making a film about the damage caused by absent fathers and the court system (white daddy) that works to keep them absent. Are you going to criticise that v8driver?
How many films and documentaries have you produced?
Or are you too busy trying to discredit black males who ACT instead of TALK about problems?
v8driver, what have YOU produced to help black people understand what racism is, how it works, and how to counter it?
*crickets*
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it’s not easy to find; there are so many videos, i can’t remember what else he was talking about, it was probably around October 2013?
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@thwack
“Tommy Sotomayor is making a film about the damage caused by absent fathers and the court system (white daddy) that works to keep them absent. Are you going to criticise that v8driver?”
I have 4 kids and I’m not allowed to see any of them, so before i say something that will get my post deleted, what about that?
OK thwack, so now you know what TS is talking about, before you didn’t. A tautology, OK? You are just messing with me.
For every bit TS does on straight-out white on black racism in the US, there are 15 videos about how black women are this and that and the root cause of all evil in the world.
With regards to what I’m doing to ‘help black people’ learn about racism, well, let’s see, I spend about 12 hours a day in our non-profit headquarters here in an all black neighborhood, we are writing a book to help AA students get into college, and trying to get some type of funding to, well personally, I would like to get into benefits navigation, we have a computer for people to use here in the hood, IDK, just about my whole life is in that realm, seeing as how I haven’t gotten any jobs in the last 3 weeks, I’m just basically involved in discussions about race and class all day with people from around here, listening to all kinds of stuff here with my business partner, who’s black, and has some pretty damn radical politics and stuff… people see me posting here, and of course always reading over my shoulder, some of them even TALK to me about it, you know there are actual people outside, dude!
so ima drop it here, again, my blood pressure soars every time i interact with you. and just you, i haven’t had any negative interactions with anyone else here since xpraetorius left months ago, jesus dude, what is your deal?
What’s more important is what i can do to help white people learn about racism, it is my understanding most black people have a pretty good idea already.
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@ TrojanPam
If you give men like Thwack a rope to hang themselves then it is a guarantee they will do just that. In thwack’s case he brought the rope . I guess he figured that if he said that then somhow I was going to crumble (rolls yes). Unfortunately all he managed to show was that he was not only jealous but bitter. Sad isn’t he?
@mstoogood4yall
Very well said.
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@phoebeprunelle
I was thnking the same thing.
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Why don’t you guys all go get a room?
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* Lurks in the shadows….
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@sondis,
LOL. What’s up? Me too. I’m surprised this thread has resurfaced. All of this hilarious woofin’ and hollerin’ over nothing. It reminds me of folks performing and speechifying in a barbershop or beauty parlor. Very entertaining but, in the end, of little importance other than releasing the need to vent.
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Thwack
Just as soon as you get a clue….neither of which is on the up amd up of happening.
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It’s funny how although a Hispanic woman is more likely to have a child out-of-wedlock than a Black woman, Hispanic men have not created a movement demonizing their women for single motherhood.
If out-of-wedlock births in the Black community have fallen by over 1/3, its lowest in between a quarter and a half of a century . . ..
If children born out-of-wedlock in the Black community, have been shown to be the products of common law marriage unions where the majority do in fact go on to marry . . ..
If, statistically speaking, non wed Black men have been shown to spend the greatest amount of time with their offspring . . ..
Then Tommy’s movie would have been relevant in the 70’s, but no longer is.
It’s a shame when a White guy is acting more like a member of the community than one who is of your very own race. One proclaims “I don’t watch Tommy’s videos,” and then goes on to reveal one is a supporter. It seems one’s true intentions on the board are becoming more and more clear everyday.
I should not have to point these stats out to (who I assume) are grown individuals when I’m only a few years out of my teens. But, as I said, no critical thinking, no fact checking.
……………………………………………………………………………….
The death of Asia McGowan
Anthony Powell, the man Dearborn police believe killed 20-year-old student Asia McGowan in a college classroom Friday before killing himself, posted hateful videos on the Web site YouTube in which he railed against black women and people who believe in the theory of evolution.
……………………………………………………………………………………
Now, I say this respectfully, but if this movement has already lead to the death of one young Black girl, I do not think the concerns of Black women are over something that is “of little importance.” I’ve never come across anyone on the board telling Black people discussing race, that the issue is of little importance. But, I guess because it’s just Black girls, as usual, it doesn’t matter. “It’s nothing.” But, to be honest, it doesn’t surprise me anymore. It only matters when the degradation is toward Black boys and men.
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@ v8driver
If you find the video please post the link. Thanks
For the record, I watched one Sotomayor video and I have not been back to his channel. Don’t need to. What could he possibly say that hasn’t been said already?
I am surprised and dismayed that there are black females who are going to his channel over and over again. Doesn’t make sense unless you like getting beat over the head.
Then again, some black females probably believe he’s talking about other black females BUT not them (go figure)
and that’s a WHOLE OTHER TOPIC — anti-black-female black females.
and one I hope to tackle in the very near future
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@ George Ryder
you’re absolutely correct.
Some feel negative attention is better than none at all. Kind of reminds you of being in grammar school
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Full article . . ..
Y0uTube Facebook Murder: Black Woman Slaughtered by Crazed Fellow Y0uTuber and Facebook Stalker-Detroit Police Ignored Warnings by Y0uTubers
Asia McGowan, shot at point blank range with a shotgun by another YouTube user. I don’t know that the police will find a connection, but her final message on YouTube was addressed to people leaving nasty comments on her page. She references people calling her a b*tch and saying she was “stuck up.” Anthony Powell, the man Dearborn police believe killed 20-year-old student Asia McGowan in a college classroom Friday before killing himself, posted hateful videos on the Web site YouTube in which he railed against black women and people who believe in the theory of evolution. So disturbing were some of Powell’s YouTube videos that another man with a YouTube site reported him to Detroit Police and got an e-mail back April 2 from someone in the office of Chief James Barren, according to a video posted on YouTube.
“On behalf of the chief, I would like to thank you for contacting us,” said a message received by “Infamoustrag” on YouTube.
“I was unable to view the video. According to the site, I have to have a sign in.
“Do you recall exactly the content of the video? If it is too graphic, or you need to talk to me directly you may contact me at (phone number and officer’s name blacked out).”
A spokeswoman could not confirm Sunday whether Detroit Police had been contacted about Powell. In one Powell video, titled “Black Women Don’t Deserve Respect,” Powell denounces black women as sexually promiscuous and says they “murder 1,500 babies a day” as a result of abortions. In another profanity-laced video, Powell attacks those who believe in evolution. Detroit News
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TrojanPam said
“Then again, some black females probably believe he’s talking about other black females BUT not them (go figure) ”
…………………………………………………………………
Yup, yup, yup!
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@ Sharina
I thought thwack’s comments were very revealing
Me adding my two cents was probably unnecessary
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“But, as I said, no critical thinking, no fact checking.”—-That is precisely why I have to laugh at everything he says. When he deemed himself comparable to jesus and was a prophet, I realized he was a joke and a lunatic.
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@ ebonymonroe
There was also a recent case of a young African female who was murdered by a young black male who thought she was too pro-white.
There are people who think this topic is much ado about nothing and they are DEAD WRONG —
and there are a rising number of injured and dead black female bodies to prove it.
I predicted a few years ago that as the economic oppression (as well as other forms) becomes greater for black people that there would be more violence directed at black females BY black males
There is all kinds of violence, verbal and physical — and I am watching the hostility between black males and black females ramping up.
In my city (Chicago) rape of black females is climbing fast and so this UNJUST hostility needs to be called out for what it is
PROJECTION (of one’s own inadequacies and pain).
Black females must gather some courage of our own and speak OUT — for our daughters’ sake.
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TrojanPam
@ Sharina
I thought thwack’s comments were very revealing
——————————————————————————————
Thats what everybody says.
You should try it.
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Ebonymonroe
Full article . . ..
Y0uTube Facebook Murder: Black Woman Slaughtered by Crazed Fellow Y0uTuber and Facebook Stalker-Detroit Police Ignored Warnings by Y0uTubers
———————————————————————————————————
Did this happen in 2009?
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I feel altogether confident in stating that there would be no accusation of Black women “woofin’ and hollerin’ over nothing” if we were woofing and hollering the praises of the men who speak of and who, in some cases, physically … and fatally … demonstrate their hatred of us.
There would especially be no accusations of time wasting if Black women were “woofin” over the hatred, brutality and death that Black males face at the hands of racist / vigilante whites (lynchers, 21 st century style) and honorary whites, such as George Zimmerman.
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@TrojanPam
I think your 2 cents were very necessary. It was helpful in allowing him to bring to light his nature and allowing others to get an idea of what to look out for.
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Pay it forward
It is interesting isn’t it. Though I am no longer confused about said behavior.
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I’m sorry but nothing that a dubious guy like Tommy Sotomayor is doing is part of any “movement”. He’s running a stupid personal self promotion hustle, and the internet being what it, is he’s able to be a low rent youtube “shock jock”. Trying to tie the tragic death of black woman who was killed by some nutjob black man who happened to rant about black women on the net and people who believe in evolution!? (what a bizarre combo) to any sort of TS inspired “movement” is a real stretch and is giving him way more credit the he deserves and more power than he has now or ever will have in the future.
We probably couldn’t count the number of stupid things said on the internet about black men and women BY stupid black men and women. I find them all tiresome and wish they would go away but, in the meantime I won’t give them any power by pretending they have some power. In spite of all the histrionics and noise, they will drown in their own sad dysfunction and self-hate sooner or later.
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Ks
I get what you are saying, but turning a blind eye to things seem to be the exact thing that keeps getting black people in trouble. It is no big deal until it is. Better to be cautious and aware of those type than to be blind to it and sorry.
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Sharina,
Ok, I hear you but I’m not turning blind eye to it. I’m well aware of the stupidity but giving it more power and/or attention than it deserves, imo, enables it. If I walked up to 125th street in Harlem now and stood in front of the Apollo Theater and asked random passerbys who TS is they would likely say either, mostly, WHO? or, less likely, that guy talking crazy smack on the net.
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@trojanpam there is little continuity between scenes, since TS has so many youtube channels to start with, and then some get banned and pop up again, I really don’t feel like going through his twitter feed and all that, i would say it’s some time between sept.-oct. last year, maybe a little earlier, like late summer? idk. i can’t find it now.
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Ks
Fair enough, but I see this beyond ts because he is one factor in the mess. We all can agree that mentally unstable people tend to listen to him. It is those unnamed indiviuals that one needs to cautious of. Because whether other people know ts or not wont make a difference to the world when a psycho decides to do something extreme as a result of listen to and taking in ts logic.
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@ v8driver
no problem
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To his credit, Tommy Sotomayor is the only commentator, the only one, to call Racheal Jeantel out for hearing her “boyfriend” get stalked and shot on the phone,
and not taking any action that night to find out what happened.
She roled over and went to sleep.
Tommy was the only person to point that out.
Everybody else ignored it,
Wake up black man.
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I don’t buy any of it, the same dudes who say just leave it are quick to engage with racist White commenters here, but when it comes to Black women, it’s just “leave it alone.” That young Black woman’s death was by a follower of sergeant Willie Pete, who Tommy Sotomayor has replaced. No one here is going on about jumping up and bothering to waste time trying to get Tommy banned, so it’s just shocking how the mere conversation of a few Black women talking about how prevalent this attitude is in real life as well as across the internet, causes people to get so patronizing as though one can police what we say. If the likes of the Sotomayors doesn’t bother you, why would us discussing it?
If you don’t like it, don’t bother, but you can’t tell Black women who have experienced this problem, who see it going on around them, and who have encountered the huge extent to which this has become acceptable in day to day life and across the web, that they can’t talk about it. Quick to giggle with the likes of Adonis and cosign things he’s said on here but then turn around and talk down about us discussing something which we’re free to. I’ve met two White guys who have come across Tommy Sotomayor, that’s how well known it’s becoming. Spend time telling yourself what to do and care about, but don’t bother another group on what they should think and say, it’s not really your place, and it’s patronising. Or bother Abagond about getting rid of the post.
And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.
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And to add to that, I’ve seen this happen a number of times. One argued forever with a commenter because one was offended by the idea that Black women tend to stick to dating and marrying Black men because they’re loyal as one believed in should not be said, one was offended by the disparity during another conversation and suggested it should not be discussed, and now one believes Black women should not talk about the like of Tommy Sotomayor who is a poster child for a growing problem in the Black community for Black women, both on and offline.
I’ve never seen one go to posts on things that affect the entire community telling Black people to stop speaking about it because it’s silly, and I’ve never seen one go to posts just about Black men, discussing such things that affect Black men by stating that conversation on it is silly. In fact I specifically recall one arguing with a poster who was banned who was putting Black men down; why was that not thought of a futile and silly? Why did one bother to engage? No, it’s only silly, annoying and pointless when it’s just about Black women, so one is quick to pop up out of the blue whenever it’s about Black women and begin patronizing, no matter how casual the convo is, which doesn’t warrant such a “talking down to.”
If I remember rightly, it was actually Travyvon’s father who messed up by stating that the screaming on the tape was absolutely not his son. Rachel held back from mentioning the c@(*#r comment because she didn’t want to paint Trayvon in a bad light during interviews. It was Trayvon’s mother who insisted on her son’s murderer being given a fair day in court, and I do recall seeing plently of Black women taking to the streets to protest.
Wake up, if you don’t won’t Black women bothering anymore, or you have to do is let them know, and they’ll stop.
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@Ebony
I applaud you for your response. I will respond more when I get the chance.
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@Ebonymonroe,
Come on now, get down off the soapbox. You can talk about whatever you like and I don’t see anybody stopping you . In fact you and others have talked about this over and over and over again to the point that this is one of the longer threads here but, this is not your blog nor an echo chamber so others get to speak too and their mileage may vary on this subject.
The strange thing is that you can’t see that you’re feeding the beast you’re battling against. You’ve probably seen more TS videos than I ever have or will. It’s interesting because after the last time I was here, I went and looked at some of his videos and really, after about a half hour at best, it became ridiculous. The low rent shock jock scam is obvious. The dude lives and dies based on clicks so he offers up ever more outrageous clickbait sprinkled with whatever occasionally clever turn of phrase he can come up with to get attention. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Most of his videos I saw were repetitive nonsense and pathetic shouting matches with his foes. The latter of which is classic internet age fluff – all noise and little substance. TS is not a poster child for anything except modern self important delusion and endless self promotion. He has no effect on the black community writ large or writ small. Look how far you have to go to even indirectly try and tie him to a killing done by some crazy guy.
If you want to continue to blow him up way out of his meager lane, you might want to remember the old adage – “I don’t care what you say about me, as long as you spell my name right.”
If you want to continue to use him as a foil/example to push what you claim are larger issues in the black community, I’m not sure that’s going to hold up well to scrutiny because the only thing that TS is really an example of is loud self hate and yet another fool ranting on the ‘net and hustling other fools.
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Damn, this dude’s name pops up everywhere. It’s OBVIOUS in reading some of these posts, that Tommy himself or his freakazoid sick fans are on this page, trying to get people to stop being aware what that monster is doing to drive a wedge between the community. I found a group of people on facebook that have banned together against this quack. If people are really about getting him to drop the hate he’s pushing toward our community, then yall need to be about it and let’s get this sambo’s demon talk revised. here’s their page and an interesting article i read from their other site. Hotep
http://talkrealsolutions.com/poundcake/
https://www.facebook.com/BlkMenAgainstTommySotomayor
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Evil, in my opinion, needs to be addressed rather than blithely ignored, as the fact is not everyone will simply ignore it anyway. There typically is a faction who will attend to it, nuture it and, if they have their way, bring it to prominence. Hitler was a hate spouting nobody at one time as well, but still managed to grab ahold of the reins of power, and to ultimately preside over the murder of millions upon millions of his perceived “enemies”.
Nowadays, as well, there are lots of individuals who are looking for convenient scapegoats for their frustrations in life; Black woman as scapegoat, or ‘whipping boy’, is nothing new and has been steadily picking up steam since the ’80s when ‘writer’ Sharazad Ali advised the ‘Blackman’ to slap the ‘Blackwoman’ in her mouth for any perceived insolence from her.
it is notable here that there mockery (i.e. barbershop “hollerin” … and “woofin”, which, according to a Google search, is slang for “to exaggerate” or to lie”) targeting not so much TS himself, the actual purveyor of hate speech, but rather those of us who had the temerity to roundly denounce TS and his hateful rantings against us.
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@ Pay it Forward
Exactly.
I would ask those who say we should “ignore” this (the demonization and degradation of black females)
if they would simply “ignore it’ if someone walked up to them and started spreading rumors and badmouthing them to their lover or spouse or friend or family or coworkers.
This constant demonization of black females is DANGEROUS — because it not only damages the battered self-esteem of black females, it damages the children she is raising who will be the next generation of black women and black men.
Only a totally ignorant people would demonize the mothers of the next generation — not because black females are above critiicism (we are not) but because it is a SUICIDAL MISSION, especially when you are being attacked by outside enemies–
which why Tommy Sotomayor is getting WHITE CORPORATE SPONSORS. The best way to defeat your enemy is to give hm the weapons to kill his own people.
The Honorable Elijah Muhammad said it best:
“No nation can rise higher than its woman.”
Followed by Muhammad Ali (during an interview by Sammy Davis, Jr. on the Mike Douglas show)
Sammy asked Ali: “What does black power mean to you?”
Ali: Well, to me, black power means, number one, black men respecting
and protecting — with their lives, if necessary — their women. Because
we are taught by our leader that a man’s woman is the field which
produces his nation. If he doesn’t protect his field, he’ll produce a bad
nation…she’s the field that produces our sons and our daughters…”
And Karl Marx who said:
“Social progress can be measured by the social position of the female sex.” —
That’s why the white female is put on a pedestal by the white male (even while he despises and mistreats her)) because HER position determines HIS position.
And that’s why the black male is ENCOURAGED and REWARDED by knocking his female to the ground and rubbing her face in it
because that guarantees that he will NEVER RISE OFF HIS KNEES
and from what I am seeing, it appears to working just fine.
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@ the black females who go to Tommy Sotomayor’s blog
Question: why are you abusing yourselves by going (more than once) to Sotomayor’s blog?. I seriously don’t get it.
I went one time and once was enough to know what I was dealing with: a black male who will die on his knees facedown in the mud. (his choice)
By showing up on his blog and pumping up his numbers, black females are encouraging the spread of this poison and pumping up his pockets courtesy of his corporate donors (which lets you know that he is being used by the system of white supremacy)
If we don’t care about ourselves, at LEAST we should care about your daughters and granddaughters and younger female relatives coming up behind us.
Please, we must be smarter women than this
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@ ebonymonroe
who said: “No, it’s only silly, annoying and pointless when it’s just about Black women, so one is quick to pop up out of the blue whenever it’s about Black women and begin patronizing, no matter how casual the convo is, which doesn’t warrant such a “talking down to.”
I’ve observed the same behavior for all of my adult life (when I became aware of what I was seeing)
For example, Secretary of State Colin Powell (who was used to justify the Iraq War) was still a “great black man” who deserved respect EVEN while serving (and I mean, serving) under former Prez George Bush, Jr.
YET
When Condoleeza Rice (a black female) became Secretary of State under the SAME George Bush, Jr., – she was a lowlife “sell-out” who was sleeping with the president on the side.
I would ask, how can Colin Powell be a man of integrity but Ms Rice is a sell-out?
That is why i have become more vocal over the last years because this double standard is UNJUST and needs to be challenged, and as far as offending “certain people” when black females SPEAK TRUTH ?
Anyone who is using a double standard and bashing black females JUST for being black and female are not our allies, anyway, and really bring NOTHING to the table but more injustice and confusion,
so I say, let the chips fall where they may
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SMH! Goodness gracious some of you couldn’t miss the point harder if you all tried. You actually think you are battling “evil” (more like rank stupidity) by woofing it out with a clown like TS? No, if anything, you are helping it/him. You’re getting madder and he’s getting paid. You’ve helped him become a minor internet “celebrity” of sorts. Look at this thread. Since July of last year over a loser like TS?!
The point is that he needs you not vice versa! (repeat that)which is why blithely ignoring him, perhaps along with some mockery, is, imo, the way to go. Wihout his “haters” to”ether” the dude would’ve already been like TrojanPam said above metaphorically, and perhaps literally, on his knees face down in the mud already. You’re making the mistake of thinking that ignoring him means letting him get away with something when it’s actually a strategy.
Look at the existing pattern – TS says something stupid, you respond, he responds, you respond, he responds, you respond and so on. Notice that the only person who has benefitted from this pattern is……..TS?! Interesting, huh?
I know the internet is tempting and seems built for that kind of back and forth but wouldn’t you ignore such a fool on the street or in the club? So why bother with him on the net? TS is just a different version of an internet troll. Though it may make you feel better to keep responding to his stupid provocations and you can certainly rationalize it by pretending that a non-entity like TS has some sort of actual standing in the community so therefore you’re doing it for the good of the community and/or black women but, in the end the only way you really win is by sucking the air out of the room. In this case, that means taking away his clicks and views.
Imagine if when TS says his next stupid thing the response is…*crickets*…in a few months or so he’d be done or at best relegated to the basement with that dude who seems to have an obsession with hating on Lolo Jones. Who’s that guy you say? Exactly. TS’s attention getting scam is running on fumes so why not just finish him off rather than keep him going? You may not think you’re keeping him going or that you’re fighting some kind of greater battle but, good intentions aside, that’s what happening.
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I’m sorry but I don’t recall participating on this subject up until about a week ago. The only time I’ve mentioned this problem with hatred against Black women was on the interracial thread on the back of my debate with Adonis. I’ve not told anyone what they can’t say or do, but I find it patronizing when I see many people engage with White trolls here, and discuss racism over and over again, but as soon as it’s just about Black women, it’s “stop talking about it.” It’s extremely hypocritical, I’ve rarely spoken about the issue during my time on the blog, and I’ve never tried to police what people can and cannot say, but I disagree with people trying to police others because the topic is not something they care about.
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@TrojanPam
Sadly, it’s not just Tommy, there’s about 20 guys on youtube who do the same thing. Many of them were banned after the killing of Asia because y0tube got scared, so they removed many of the users making the videos and told them to calm down the hate speech, but it died down sometime after her death and TS took SJP’s place.
There’s been so many hate filled rants against Black women over the last few years from the online world to random Black celebrities, it’s feeding a problem in the community that’s already there. From Russel Simmons, to Slim Thug, Taye Diggs, DL Hughley. The movie diary of a tired Black man and its site, gen x, Black men vent. It doesn’t make me lose sleep at night, but I’m not blind either. Many of these comments would not fly if it were another group. I just know that it is what it is and it ain’t what it ain’t.
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@ks
Calm down man, we were just talking. I don’t watch the dudes videos I have no idea what he’s up to, I just put in my 2 cents when the thread lit again and got to talking with the commenters. I very much doubt most people who have been participating in the convo watch TS, apart from thwack, and he is generally ignored or derided by most of the commenters here.
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Also let’s stop with the “double standards” stuff. Again this ain’t your house but let’s not act like black women posters haven’t been given the space to talk among themselves here. Please. That’s simply not true. At all.
In fact, the reality is quite the opposite. You hens have been clucking up a storm and have us roosters on the run! lol. When yall get going with your BWE tinged stuff, I doubt a rooster could get a word in edgewise, if he dared. Wisely we usually don’t. Heh!
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True colours coming out, ha? Go on, let it out. Yes, we’re all a monolith who are all bwe members, although most people who have been talking here have specifically defended the majority of Black men (even from Black male and a non Black female commenter) in stating that the likes of ts don’t represent the majority of Black men, which is essentially how the conversation got started. Right, the last time a anti Black male commenter got on here I clearly remember a number of Black women immediately coming to the defense of Black men. Right, Black women didn’t jump in to defend Black men from the accusations of a commenter like thwack in the open thread just a minute ago.
Yeah, that’s real nice.
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@Ebonymonroe,
I’m just animated not upset. You all are pretty bright women so you know what’s up. All I’m really saying is don’t get lost in the mountain of fooolishness on the net. You start stitching toghether this tweet with that blog post with that youtube video and the next thing you know you’re onto the Illumanati and Freemasons.
More to the point, thankfully, the stupid stuff said about black people by black people tends to be obvious nonsense said by a minority of loud, but empty, people. I guess I take the long view as I’ve heard and read various dummies in our community going on about black women ain’t ish! black men ain’t ish! for decades. It may seem more intense now but that’s more a reflection of the medium. These current fools will pass and I guess the next round will come when everybody is wearing Goggle Glasses or somesuch!
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@Ebonymonroe,
True colors? No what I said was simply true. BW posters here have been given plenty of “girl time” space. The BWE tinged thing was just a characterization not a label. Also, BM posters have defended the honor of BW as it were. I certainly have. Now if you’re looking for a 1 to 1 ratio then ask Abagond for stats though I suspect there are more BW posters here than BM so that might be a problem. Anyway, everbody has beat up on the trolls, of any color, when needed.
But if you’re talking some of the stupid stuff said in the notable battles between BW and BM posters like for example between you and Adonis, well I plead guilty to that as I’m not going to religiously police those as they tend to be hundreds of comments long and dang near full page long each. Yall are grown and can handle your own business.
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Fair enough, but what I think you may not understand (assuming you’re not in my age group) is that this has become extremely common. And I mean an everyday thing in real life. I think to myself did I see it a lot because I grew up in the projects? But even in the suburbs I still encounter a version of this hatred often, usually it’s insults towards dark skinned school girls I see. This is the thing, I wish it were just a web world thing, but from what I’ve seen, it’s a symptom of a problem in real life.
I’m not saying you need to defend Black women, but that this convo got going mostly due to a few Black women defending the majority of Black men, which then led on to a few 2 cents on the hatred. Nor am I saying you shouldn’t say what you feel, but that it’s not fair to tell Black women they can’t casually discuss something that they know affects them for a minute.
That’s all really.
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@Ebonymonroe,
It’s because I’m not in your age group that I know it’s always been extremely common, unfortunately. In fact for my parents it was legally enforced, no matter what shade, in the broader community and to your point, ask some older people you know about the “brown paper bag test” and of course, the “good hair” nonsense. The internalized oppression of the Black caste system, and in general, was no joke! It’s still is no joke. Fortunately I had a forward thinking Civil Rights era mother who when Jack and Jill came a’calling, she practically threw them out the door.
Also one of the solid things about this blog is that it does give people space to speak. I think it’s fair to say that there have been plenty of instances where BW have had the house to themselves for a minute or two. : ) Even now, I can see the BM posters saying to themselves – “Man ks you crazy, I ain’t going anywhere near that convo. Hhhhheeellllll Nawwwww you’re on your on bro!!” lol.
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@Ebonymonre,
I almost forgot the following:
You said: “I’m not saying you need to defend Black women,…”
My answer: “Oh yeah, i do”
Just because we may fuss and fight a bit at times amongst each other, let’s not get it twisted now!
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@ Ebonymonroe
In my experience, this black-female-bashing has been going on since 2005, which is when I started going to black websites and reading anti-blacki-female comments that made me wonder why so many black males seemed to hold black females in such contempt.
So, I would ask the worst of them — were your mothers were such terrible people that they developed this near hatred of black females?
of course, they would say it had nothing to do with their mothers (sic), it’s those other Bs (other brothers’ mothers) who were the “problem”
Which of course, means in the eyes of other black males, their OWN mother was a “B, too
I also noticed that most of the black female posters that retaliated with attacks of their own often did so in SELF-DEFENSE, and were not attacking black males just for the sake of attacking them.
It was and is rare (for me) to see black females creating blogs and sites and posts that totally demonized black males and most of the “angry black female” tirades usually took the form of
“since they hate us so much, forget about them and date non-black men who do like us.”
Now, if other people have seen something different, I can’t speak about that.
I feel some of this (madness) is to be expected in an anti-female, anti-black, white-male-dominated society that programs people to think women and blacks are inferior and it is their RIGHT to dominate, and subjugate and mistreat (inferior) women and blacks because they deserve it — aka sexism and racism
but, for (black) males who lack real power in this society, the best they can do is practice ATTEMPTED SEXISM by trying to control and mistreat black females
which is a strange dynamic when some of the worst offenders LIVE OFF and DEPEND ON black females (momma, sister, auntie, grandma, wife and girlfriend) for financial and emotional support (sic)
this is why I think a lot of the hostility being directed at us is NOT even ABOUT US, it’s about feeling so powerless despite having a P*ENIS that the only way some black males feel they can assert that (missing) manhood is by pretending that black females need to be “controlled”
It’s all make-believe and that is why black males are NOT gaining real power as a group but in fact are LOSING power — because they’re focusing on imaginary issues RATHER than dealing with the white supremacy system that crippled them.
Until they find the COURAGE and the WILL to stop making black females their target and aim their energies at the real problem (white people /white supremacy)
nothing will change and the kind of dynamic that the Honorable Elijah Muhammed and Muhammed Ali talked about — males respecting and protecting their “fields” aka the mothers of their nation — is still a long way off.
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Just to be clear, I’m not talking about ALL black males, just the ones who belong to the Tommy Sotomayor blame game club
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I just wish this hatred on black women would stop. It hurts so much to not be liked by the world you where born in. It sucks so hard. There are 2 stripes on you before you even breathe your first breath and you have to learn really quickly that your own people don’t even like you. It’s frustrating.
No matter what, this guy is poison, he’s not nourishment to any part of the mind. He doesn’t have any “tough love” for blacks, only spite, but sadness in the deepest pit of his soul.
How is it possible to be hated in a society for no accounted reason? Isn’t this the reason why some black women are “defensive, angry”, because they hated us first?
Maybe I’m wrong but one this is for sure, I just cannot wrap my mind around it. I can’t anymore. I just can’t. I feel like things are getting worse and they won’t get better. I would like to think they may get better, but we in America are a small percentage compared to the other races and these divisions, deaths, past hindrances from advancing have made me believe we aren’t going to last long.
Why just, why?
What can we do to stop this? What can I do to help change things only if in a minuscule way? I want to do something but I just don’t know what.
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“[…] but, for (black) males who lack real power in this society, the best they can do is practice ATTEMPTED SEXISM by trying to control and mistreat black females
“which is a strange dynamic when some of the worst offenders LIVE OFF and DEPEND ON black females (momma, sister, auntie, grandma, wife and girlfriend) for financial and emotional support (sic)
“this is why I think a lot of the hostility being directed at us is NOT even ABOUT US, it’s about feeling so powerless despite having a P*ENIS that the only way some black males feel they can assert that (missing) manhood is by pretending that black females need to be “controlled”
“It’s all make-believe and that is why black males are NOT gaining real power as a group but in fact are LOSING power — because they’re focusing on imaginary issues RATHER than dealing with the white supremacy system that crippled them.
“Until they find the COURAGE and the WILL to stop making black females their target and aim their energies at the real problem (white people /white supremacy) […]”
_ _ _
Excellent observations, Trojan Pam.
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TrojanPam writes:
“Just to be clear, I’m not talking about ALL black males, just the ones who belong to the Tommy Sotomayor blame game club.”
_ _ _
It’s the same with me.
This is not a “hens” versus “roosters” contest as far as I am concerned, as my comments here focus not on Black men in general but solely on Tommy Sotomayor and his ilk.
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I got my eye on you, Pay it forward…. -_-
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@ AJ
who said, “I just wish this hatred on black women would stop.”
So do I.
I know you didn’t address this me but I had to respond to your heartfelt post — because I think it is coming from a much purer place than my own. I have too many battle scars to be pure or submissive (not saying you are passive).
I used to absorb all this hostility without understanding where it came from but once I began to realize this is the LEGACY OF 400 YEARS OF CHATTEL SLAVERY — where black males and females were pitted against each other and degraded before each other and were forbidden to love and protect each other (but some slaves died trying and managed to love each other in spite of their circumstances)
My personal opinion is UNTIL black people — male and female — understand HOW our history damaged us, and turned us from a self-respecting AFRICAN PEOPLE to a people who do NOT know who we are OR where we came from, we won’t be able to fix what is wrong with us.
and will keep falling for every CON GAME that the media throws at us — and that is where a lot of this anti-black-female-ness is coming from, the degraded images of black females on TV, in movies, and in rap music.
And the divisiveness of promoting black males with white females and black females with white males WHILE at the same time ONLY showing black males and females putting each other down, fussing and fighting each other
Once we realize this is a SPIRITUAL WAR being waged against our minds and bodies and souls, we will STOP fighting each other and turn our collective attention to the real problem:
racism/white supremacy.
I know a lot of black people don’t believe this (or want to believe it) but the evidence is overwhelming. I wrote a book called, “Black Love Is A Revolutionary Act” to explain how our relationships broke down and that this dynamic began during slavery.
I won’t post the link (because this is not my blog) but you can click on my name and go to my website. There’s a free excerpt you can read. And if you don’t have the funds right now, contact me and I’ll see if I can send you a free copy.
Take care of yourself, avoid the Tommy Sotomayors on-line (and in real life) and STAY STRONG. The Universe, God, and our Creator will right the wrongs being done on this planet — and the last will COME FIRST again!
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Oooh. I’m shaking in my boots, sondis. Careful, though, as I can say the same to you. A Google search is all that is needed, as by publishing your name and likeness you’ve made keeping an eye on you all too easy.
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@ Pay it Forward
I agree, this is not a “hens” versus “roosters” contest where they can BE NO WINNERS.
This is about what is JUST and what is UNJUST — in my opinion. And mistreating people for no better reason they are your male or female mirror image (have the same skin, noses, lips, and hair – only the genitals are different)
is insanity to the 4th degree — and it needs to stop.
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Pay it Forward
Oooh. I’m shaking in my boots, sondis. Careful, though, as I can say the same to you. A Google search is all that is needed, as by publishing your name and likeness you’ve made keeping an eye on you all too easy.
Lmfaoo! well, firstly i have nothing to hide unlike most people online. second, a nick/first name is nothing far as information. If i have a first name but no last name, age, address, state city. you or nobody can gain any information.
Try to search 50 states with just a first name or a nick, see where that gets you. lol its like searching the whole world with a first name and expecting to find that exact person.
But have have it…. ^_^
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Here’s a thought. (I’m not being sarcastic)
Given the sky-high (and rising) black unemployment rate — especially among black males, regardless of education or experience, what if black males started coming together
and said to each other,
No more marching, protesting, boycotting, begging and pleading for inclusion into a society that is steadily showing us the door.
those of us who have skills and education, start pooling those intellectual and whatever financial resources we have and start creating our own jobs so those black people who have jobs can help us build some sort of economic alternative and infrastructure.
plus those who have skills start sharing that knowledge with those of us who don’t (like the majority of young black males who sorely need some POSITIVE and constructive adult male guidance)
They would be so busy and productive, this would decrease the NEED to bash black females or each other
And black females could do the same, supporting and sharing our skills, education and resources with other black people to BUILD SOMETHING that will benefit all black people.
and once black females realized we were not being blamed for things we have no control over — we might lose some of our “anger” and be more respectful and stop black male bashing because we could see the men ENGAGED in empowering themselves and sharing their benefits with a black female (and this point is CRUCIAL).
bottom line, we are going to be forced to think outside the box in this economy and the one that is sniffing at ALL our doors so we might as well roll up our sleeves and drop all this black-bashing foolishness.
Just a thought
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^ To be brutally honest (aside from the effects of the stock crashed economy of 2008) most of the Black guys that I know are already doing alright for themselves. Obviously some better than others, But they either are working in a job or career or are self employed.
Most of the guys I know who are PERPETUALLY unemployed cannot find jobs with either White people or Blacks, and the problem usually comes down to 3 things.
– a very poor education
– a prison record
– or a drug problem
Is it easier for White men than for Black men in the job market? YES it is. But my experience is that most Black guys can find solid work *eventually* if they are literate, have a clean record, no addictions.
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I mentioned the “hens” vs. the “roosters” in attempt to inject some levity into the thread and I liked the image of feathers flying. : ) It wasn’t personal or serious.
Look I do get it. TS is spouting garbage so naturally you all respond. That’s understandable. I see that but what I also see, and this may be a more of a male perspective, is a little dog yapping to hard trying to be a big dog. A guy calling people lames and simps who is a lame and simp himself still whining about how girls didn’t like him in high school.
Look how weak his come up game is! He’s trying to make it by talking trash about, mostly, black women. Even if he makes it, he won’t make it. Dude is in a h$ll of his own making and doesn’t even realize it. Pitiful.
So basically I treat him like a big dog treats a little dog yapping at him – the sort of bemused disdain that tells him “shutup, you’re not on my level and you really don’t want it with me. You don’t even deserve a bark back”.
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^^ Typical response for a white person, its never white racism. just education, a prison record or a drug problem.
So again, white people feel, racism in America has no effect on black people.
The majority of educated black men that have none of those three things you just posted, have a hard time, getting employed for being black alone.
Blacks are the 1st fired and last hired. if not for a white person that is doing the hiring, discriminating against a black person or preferring to only work with other white people or just want to see their race of people, working and not blacks. aka favoritism, preferential treatment. aka white supremacy.
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@ King
I disagree. Of course, there are black people who lack skills or have a prison record or other problems but that does not represent the majority of unemployed black people.
Where I live (in the Chicago area) that is not always the case.
For example, my cousin’s husband, who has a master’s degree and worked for the same company for almost twenty years was the victim of a “one-man layoff”
Another friend who is skilled in the building and electrical trades and very hard working (no prison record, or drug problem) was blocked from joining the electrical workers union
Corporate america is literally using the bad economy as an opportunity to purge us from the workplace, and this is happening all over america.
Recently, (about three months ago) there was a protest by some black businessmen in San Francisco who said they were being blocked from getting city contracts and opportunities in the booming local economy.
In 2007 CNN did a “study” where they found that being a black male college graduate had a harder time getting a job than a white male with a prison record without any college.
In NYC there was a report in the NY Times that said black people — regardless of education OR experience had an unemployment rate three times higher than whites.
And a black female college graduate looking for a job conducted her own study and found that after she doctored her resume by pretending to be a white female, she started getting job offers
My nephew just graduated from a four year university and the only job he could find was the one he had as a store clerk before he graduated while his white friends are having more success at finding jobs.
of course, I’m not saying no black people are working but the evidence is everywhere — AND undeniable, and those who choose to believe it is the fault of black people for the racism in the job market
present the BEST argument for why black males and females should STOP fighting each other AND start BUILDING something together.
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@ George Ryder
Remember the definition of insanity is — doing the same thing and expecting different results
Every community in this country knows that the key to economic survival is having a business base and doing business with each other so their dollars will circulate
not so strangely enough, whenever someone black (like me) dares to suggest that black people do the same
all the naysayers come out of the woodwork (not calling King one of them)
Why?
Because we are the most profitable slave class of people in the world. We are the CASH COW for every white and non-white immigrant group that gets off the boat.
As long as we continue to be mindless consumers and NOT producers, we will keep spending our money with everyone but each other and will continue having to go — hat in hand — begging for a job
I believe just the thought of black people waking up from this deep, deep sleep frightens the BEJESUS out of every Korean, Arab, and white business community in this nation
because without our dollars and mindless consumption, many would have to CLOSE THEIR DOORS FOR GOOD
My advice is always, never, ever, take advice from someone who is telling you to do or not do something when they are doing just the opposite!
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@King,
When did you become a white person?
I would lol but it really isn’t funny…shows a lack of regard and maturity.
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^^ Typical troll that stalks my every post…. Then you cry and whine to abagond, whenever i roast you, “wah wahhh, tell him not to talk to me or comment to me on the forum, abagond….wah wah!!”
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@King
I have found that some can even get a job with a criminal record depending on a few things of course and usually not the job they want. Though starting their own business is not a far stretch if they really are looking for work and certain things are holding them back.
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I’m talking about the Black people whom I know. I don’t personally know anybody who has been out of work for 10 years because nobody will hire Black people. But that’s not to say that I don’t know people who were treated quite differently in the workplace because they were Black.
And the real issues with the points that I raise are:
1) Why are so many Blacks given an inferior education?
2) Why are so many Blacks placed into the prison system?
Answer those two questions and I think you just get a different side of how racism works today as opposed to 100 years ago. I know about individual injustices… in fact they have happened to me personally in the workplace. But the larger question is what can be done about it, and for that you have to realize how the system works en masse.
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On a side note…one should not hold on to the anonymity of the internet to consider themselves safe. A skilled hacker can do numbers on your information in a short time period.
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@Trojan Pam & King,
I can certainly see the logic in both positions on Black employment,
however, it may not be the best situation, but i have to admit that in recent years i have seen more Black men and women making educational and career gains.
Many times i think our problem is believing every single damning statistic that the media throws our way without ever fully researching it ourselves, with that said Trojan Pam, i agree that more effort needs to be put into Black people tying our resources together in some meaningful way. If nothing else, Toldson and Marks did a study on young Black men and their educational gains and found more young Black men are in college rather than the stereotypical belief that more are in prison…i could post the links if anyone is interested.
TS really is just a money making guy. He is no more serious about his message than Sgt. Willie Pete was about his. You have to understand youtube economics–the more people view your vids and see ads by your sponsers–the more checks youtube write out to you–so the more controversial–the more views…
what i think is more concerning is the young generation of Black men that i have talked with that feel that they have to get to know all other women over Black women. I kid you not, and many of them say things like “It is hard for me to adjust to the idea of dating women other than Black women, but i guess it doesn’t matter.” Which leads me to believe that isn’t what they truly want. However even with that said, most Black men marry/date Black women at any given time.
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@ thwack
Interesting exchange with the Russian. I know a Tajik woman who has said things about Russia that led me to think the same thing you talked about. She speaks fluent Russian. Something about some videos online showing some Russian (though you’d think they were “Middle Eastern”, by the language and religion right?) getting stabbed because he wasn’t “white”.
That’s what she told me. Dude got poked because he wasn’t white. Yet SHE fit the description of the guy. But HERE in AMERICA she considers herself white. What?
What it is is the fact that she doesn’t have blonde hair or blue eyes. THAT is why them drunk Russians called the chick at the party “Chernyy”. If you don’t have Blonde hair or Blue eyes, Wesley Snipes will fall out of your family tree if the branches are shaken well enough. We could go back centuries but he’s there.
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“Is it easier for White men than for Black men in the job market? YES it is. But my experience is that most Black guys can find solid work *eventually* if they are literate, have a clean record, no addictions.”
*whee*
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@ phoebeprunelle
Well that is really the problem. Blacks have been victimized by both sides of the political spectrum. Conservatives talk responsibility and values but rarely uphold them themselves. If you think that the clear and rampant dishonesty uncovered during the Stock Market crash of 2008 is limited to just the finance sector, then you have not had your eyes open. When you strip away all the pretense, false morality, and self-justification many of the gains of the most vocal Conservatives can be traced back (at some point) to favoritism, connections, and networks – in other words SOCIAL ADVANTAGES that other people didn’t have.
On the other hand Liberals have been nearly as bad. To Liberals, agreeing with Liberal policy has always been more important than actually fixing problems in the Black community. Liberals know that the education system is not working for most Blacks BUT THEY WILL NOT CHANGE IT because to them, keeping friendly with the teachers unions ,etc. is much more important than actually making sure that minority children get a good education. They love to SAY the right things, but when it comes down to how things are actually run, addressing problems in the Black community moves at a snails pace. This is because they are unwilling to face the systemic racism tat exists within their own ideology.
As a result, Black education is not a priority (even among many Blacks) and education is not marketed to Blacks in the same way that it is to Whites. I could write pages on how the U.S. drug market is used to supply Americans with the drugs they desire at the expense of minority lives both in the U.S. and in Central and South America. Young Black men are recruited as soldiers in the drug wars and so the murders and arrests, and imprisonment, are high. Whites are rarely recruited as soldiers, but only at the end market of the distribution process. (less violence, less arrests — even though same crime, same moral culpability) There is a whole system that works a certain way because that is how it is meant to work.
That is why I said what I said.
Honestly, most long-term unemployed dudes that I know are not just being held out of jobs on account of skin color alone. There are other Black guys working at the very places they are applying to. The problem is that they are either not given the education needed or they get caught up in the system that makes it nearly impossible for them to work in normal jobs.
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King:
“Honestly, most long-term unemployed dudes that I know are not just being held out of jobs on account of skin color alone. There are other Black guys working at the very places they are applying to. The problem is that they are either not given the education needed or they get caught up in the system that makes it nearly impossible for them to work in normal jobs.”
This is why i think, Attorney general Eric holder is on to something, when he talks about black men with a criminal record felony, need to have their rights restored, so they can become, productive citizens of society.
They’ve done the crime ( maybe some haven’t but was unjustly charged but don’t have the financial means to defend themselves in a court of law ) and have done the time.
They should get a second chance at life. I say, remove felonies that are nonviolent, after a sentence is done.
These laws were created in the Jim crow era for the only purpose of keeping black people from being able to vote, gain employment and become upstanding citizens, once they’ve done their time in prison.
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@ George Ryder
Yes,
The System is racist
The System is also classist
The System is also sexist
The problem with what TrojanPam is suggesting never seems to work. Try starting a Black business and trying to get Black people to spend their money there just based on a shared “Blackness” with the business owner. I have so been there before with so many people who have tried. You will always get a few, but markets don’t really work that way, unless you are in a dominant majority.
No offense or animus meant to the good TrojanPam. I’ve just been down this road to the point of exhaustion and frustration, and I just don’t believe in it’s practical viability anymore.
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@King,
I’ve wondered for a while now if the Liberal agenda did more harm to Black families by selling them unrealistic goals. If one thinks about it, prior to the late 1960s, Black families in the U.S. were primarily ultra conservative [i.e. we believed in saving, purchasing our own homes before renting, and insisted on moving to neighborhoods that had better schools, dressing modestly, etc]…
In fact, at one point in U.S. history the conservativeness of Blacks perhaps outdid whites as we had the highest percentage of children living with their married parents post the Civil War…i’m veering off topic, but IMHO, Black people made conservative values work to our collective advantage…now the neo liberalism that convinces Black people to do everything opposite of what could bring about Black progress rules the day.
I totally get where Trojan Pam is coming from, but at the same time, there are plenty of Black men doing what needs to be done in their communities and in their families. I think it will be a while before Black people really catch on to all the much needed and timely research done my Toldson and Marks…
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@ sondis
I’ll have to think about that approach. I’ve never really considered it.
I had a neighbor kid who I grew living next to our family. He was actually a middle-class kid, but somewhere in Middle School he kind of went gangsta on us. He wasn’t a victim of poverty, or a particularly bad education but he took on a mindset that wasn’t good for him.
One day when I came by and hadn’t seen him for a while, I asked his brother what he was up to. The brother was surprised, that I hadn’t heard that he was in prison! I was shocked! I mean, to my mind this kid couldn’t be a criminal. But his brother ran it down to me that he had burglarized some stores and got caught (silent alarm) and that he already had a record, but no previous jail time. I was like, Whaaaaaat? He has a record? I had no idea.
Anyway some years later he got out and I saw him back at his Dad’s house where he was staying. So I had a chat with him and I laid it out a little that what he did was stupid. He totally agreed and said he was not going to make that mistake again. But now he was a felon, so what kind of job was he going to get? But the kid really surprised me. Somehow he got into car detailing, and started his own legit business. He was really doing it! Before long, dude had bought all his own equipment, bought his own work van. Bought his mom a car! He had clients all over the place, because he really had a good personality that people liked. Rich people liked him and even trusted him, and he was doing all kinds of expensive cars.. some on a regular monthly schedule. I told him that I was really proud of him and that he was even an inspiration to me! I felt so good about this guy!
But then things got a little slow business wise, and he got this girlfriend who liked spending money and he liked weed. So in time, I hadn’t seen him for a while again and asked where he was? And I think you already know the answer.
This story does’ have any moral to it. It;s just what happened to somebody I know and he’s still locked up today. Which kid was the “real” him? Was it the likable businessman who was doing so good? Or was it the burglar, drug addict, and bad decision maker? I think the answer is “Both.”
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Different model though, George.
Immigrant vs. Native model.
i could write a long email making the comparisons, but upon reflection, you might see why those two viewpoints work differently without needing the further explanation.
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@ George Ryder
My main point in raising this issue is black males and females (on the Internet, at least) spend a tremendous amount of time bashing other black people when we could be using this time and energy to do more constructive things instead of bashing other black people.
I wasn’t saying all or most black people are unemployed, unskilled or not doing anything constructive. But, let’s be real about this, black communities nation-wide have major problems.
If the entire american AND world economy is in trouble, how in the world do we think black people are making all this economic progress?
How are we measuring this “progress?”
Is it progress to have to work for someone else who may not treat you fairly and put your economic future in their hands?
Is it progress spending 95% of our income with companies that are not black-owned, many of who DO NOT EVEN HIRE US?
Is it progress to live paycheck to paycheck and rely on credit and loans to bridge the gap?
Is it progress because you have designer clothing (which you bought from a white-owned store) or a luxury car (you bought from a white-owned or Asian company)?
Is it progress because you live in a 4000 square foot house that wasn’t built by black owned companies?
Is it progress to have a wallet full of credit cards from white-owned banks?
Is it progress to have college degrees while historically black colleges are losing funding and shutting down especially when many black graduates can’t find jobs that pay enough to even make the payment on their student loans?
Why are we equating ‘black progress’ with being CONSUMERS — instead of PRODUCERS? That’s the point I’m making
People with REAL ECONOMIC BASES — build and produce and SELL things that bring money BACK to their communities and people.
People with REAL economic bases can put their OWN people to work.
I cannot name one “black community” in Chicago — the second largest city in the U.S. — where black businesses make up even a FIFTH of the businesses in that community. I suspect this is true in more places than Chicago.
In Chicago, Koreans and Arabs are frying our fish and our hair (when blacks used to do it) and Indians own the gasoline stations, and there isn’t a single black-owned currency exchange in the entire state, YET black people spend MILLIONS of dollars in these places, paying bills and cashing checks.
This is not a put-down of black people, there’s a reason we are in this condition, but I don’t see the value in pretending we are making all this progress when it’s obvious — at least to me — that there’s a serious problem.
Maybe, I’m missing something…
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Quite an insightful and interesting story you told King…
It just goes to illustrate how the system or Western society is stacked up against, particularly, Black people. Black people from birth can obviously succeed economically in life. Just like anyone else. But in a unequal system based society that places Inequality as an integral component the results for different types of people (allowing for class, race, gender etc..) will always be consistently the same.
Its like running a computer program we always get the results the programmers desired or wanted. Any minor problems/glitches can always be fixed with later updates.
With such a system the ONLY way change can be effectively guaranteed for EVERYONE is to re-write the computer program again from scratch. Taking out of course the need for INEQUALITY to act as an integral component.
The trouble is most people still tend to believe this is a necessary feature in any modern society. They don’t see it as a MAJOR PROGRAMMED FLAW in our existing society. So it is this type of thinking which needs to be changed first.
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Responding to you phoebeprunelle
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@ phoebeprunelle
I guess I’m in the mood for stories today.
I’m in the LA area. There are very few Black craftsmen journeymen left around these parts. I was talking to a retired older gentlemen (probably in his 70s) and he was telling me about how in the 1960s there were so many Black carpenters, plumbers, electricians, wood workers, brick masons, and tile masons. They had their own organizations, halls, events. It sounds like it was a real community with bowling leagues, picnics, and socials.
But can I tell you something? This man was bitter and heartbroken. We talked for three and a half hours straight, and I remember how my legs burned from standing there for so long, but it was just so fascinating. He described this entire world. In his world that once was, there were all these Black families working towards the next generation going on to college or inheriting businesses from their parents to run. They lived in neat, moderate homes, they drove used cars and work truck, their wives worked part-time or full-time. It was hopeful for these people. They thought they were finally going to make it. Their children would be the generation that got educated en masse and who would permanently pull Blacks out of poverty.
Now as a side note, I had heard some of this before from other older folks who did not work in the trades, but remembered those who did. These men were respected for being very good at what they did. They had fought wars, they had marched in protests, they had built things all of their lives, and had made neighborhoods for themselves and for their families that were safe, peaceful, and desirable. These were very strong, quiet men who worked hard and expected little.
So here’s where it takes a turn. after talking about this world for hours—about Sunday dances, and cherished daughters; About summer nights playing cards and chess with his trade “brothers;” About grandchildren and baptisms, and group camping trips to the mountains, and drives to the beach at sunset. Slowly it began to come out… the man was angry. Under all those onion layers of his memory and reminiscences, there was this buried fury just waiting to be released. I didn’t suspect it was there, and I didn’t go digging for it. But I think he showed it to me, because he had determined after and hour or so that he liked me, and because I was young and perhaps of the generation that his children might have fit into.
He began to tell me what had happened to his world. There had always been people migrating up to Southern California from Mexico, but it eventually changed from a steady trickle to an broad river. At first it didn’t bother him, in fact, he hired some of them to help out at job sites doing simple work. He knew that didn’t have paperwork, but he wanted to give them a break. They were hard working, so no problem. But after a while something strange began to happen. White contractors were hiring on large numbers of undocumented Latinos to work on their crews because they would work for less than half what anyone else could afford to work for. So Black guys started getting displaced from their jobs. The next thing that began happening was that Black craftsmen could not compete on price anymore because they were being underbid by White contractors who were underpaying their illegal workers.
So the Black craftsmen separately to talk to union people, organizers, city government people, even state senators (all Democrats) and told them what was happening. They explained at length that they were loosing money, losing bids, and that contractors who were breaking employment laws were portioning greatly from this while putting the Black contractors out of business. Then something strange happened. Instead of talking about what was right and what was legal, the Liberals who they spoke to wanted to know why they didn’t just hire Latino workers themselves? Problem solved!
But of course, Black contractors were the biggest hirers of Black workers… so what the Liberals were in fact saying was, “Why don’t you just replace all of the Black craftsmen, who have worked for you for years, with these illegal Mexican workers? You see, there were so many White contractors around that they didn’t feel too bad letting White guys go because they could always find work with another outfit. Unfortunately, Blacks (despite their skill) were not always seen as a “culture fit” in White-owned construction companies. So some Black contractors refused to fire their coworkers and friends. Others figured they would have to ‘do what they had to do’ to survive. When Blacks craftsmen who were let go by Black contractors were picked up by White contractors they were expected to work at the same low wages as the illegal Mexican workers. All Black crews won a lot fewer contracts. And White contractors made a fortune exploiting Illegal labor.
In desperation the Black trade organizations called for community meeting with their White, Liberal, political representatives. And these statesmen made assurances that government was indeed working on the problems, and that the Black community was of extreme importance to them. They said all of the right things, and they put hands on shoulders, patted backs, looked people in the eye and made solemn promises. But in the end, they didn’t do a thing, and they talked as if working without being a citizen for low wages was some kind of a right and those who opposed it could only be characterized as racists. It became clear that these White leaders would say one thing to one group and another completely different thing to another group.
So they didn’t make it. The Black tradesmen were pushed out, and had to leave and find work in other places, if they could. They lost a lot of money, and they lost a lot of dreams. Their neighborhoods began to empty but the new people who came were not of the same generation… and the strong, quiet, independent men were long gone. The neighborhoods became run down in time. The neat little streets became littered, the lawns dried out, and the screens hung loose from the windows.
Only then did the Liberals return, with promises of government assistance for the “poor people” in their “disadvantaged” neighborhoods. They brought WIC, and Supplemental Nutrition Assistance, and Chapter 8 Housing. They handed out assistance program brochures like compassionate parents to a neighborhood of lost, and needy children.
“Don’t worry,” they said, “We’re here to help you.”
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King:
“Honestly, most long-term unemployed dudes that I know are not just being held out of jobs on account of skin color alone. There are other Black guys working at the very places they are applying to. The problem is that they are either not given the education needed or they get caught up in the system that makes it nearly impossible for them to work in normal jobs.”
Very interesting and sad story, king. It is plain to see, that this was done by design!
white people would Kill two birds with one stone…exploit one minority group as long as they could, while disenfranchising another. It worked, masterfully!
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@ sondis
The older gentleman who I was talking to thought the same. He told me that the exact same representatives and politicians who had visited them in their neighborhoods for years, and who had talked about how important the Black community was, could be seen doing the exact same thing, only now with the Latinos.
He said that on one occasion he was invited to and event and his representative was actually there to give a little speech. He said that the speech was basically the same exact speech that he had given to a group of Black tradesmen many years before. He said that he made it his business to move far enough forward so that he could be seen, and he caught the congressman’s eye, and for just a second, he says that he could see it on his face.
He knew… he had known all along that he would betray them all. He was doing the same thing to the Latino’s, playing at being the great White uncle who was “on their side.”
Ha! I’ll never forget the phrase he used. He said that he kept pushing his way up front and kept on cold-staring the congressman like he was Judas hangin’ in the courtyard.
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@ King
who said, “The problem with what TrojanPam is suggesting never seems to work. Try starting a Black business and trying to get Black people to spend their money there just based on a shared “Blackness” with the business owner.”
I agree BUT the reasons this anti-blackness exists is due to our 500 years of anti-black programming UNDER the system of white supremacy.
Do black people believe this animosity toward each other is genetic? That we were born this way? That before white colonization/white religion/and slavery, that we hated our hair and skin and noses and lips?
of course not.
YET we seem to want to gloss over the ORIGINS of our psychological illness and downplay it for what reason I have no idea. How can we change where we’re going when we refuse to understand where we have been?
I’m not obsessed with white people, BUT I realize that this white system dominates every aspect of my life, from the quality of education, the quality of food and life and medical care and city services I receive, the taxes I pay, the salary I get, and whether I get or job or not, etc. e — and that is true for EVERY black person in this country, regardless of income.
There isn’t a single rich black person in this country that got there WITHOUT white people giving them a contract, a salary, or a syndicated TV show (Oprah). Every black business person has to go to white people to get resources, a license, a business loan, a checking account, etc.
And when a “rich” black person displeases them (hello, Wesley Snipes, Aresenio Hall, and Tiger Woods) they will show you WHO is in charge.
That’s why I say and will continue to say that UNTIL we understand the system of white supremacy, and how it works, we won’t find any solutions.
Somehow, we better wrap our black heads around this anti-blackness problem and find a way to get along and support each other
because a real economic change is coming
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@ TrojanPam
Yes, that has a great effect… in fact the primary effect. But it’s still and effect, and therefore cannot be undone simply by wishing it to be undone or knowing better. I’ve had this discussion with race chasers of all ethnicities, but particularly those who chase after White women.
I will say, “what you are feeling” is based on a lifetime of programming that tells you that White is somehow better than any other. The reason you are so hooked on serially chasing White women is that you feel inferior (on some level) and you are looking for her to make up the difference by way of association.
And often they will counter by saying, “I know that! But my knowledge of *how it works* does not make my desire for her any less real in my mind. I want what I want, and knowing the reason for wanting it doesn’t change anything.” And that is a hard argument to deny, because logic does not control desire in most people.
In the same way, knowing why you don’t quite trust fellow Blacks to fix your computer, repair your Mercedes, or tutor your child for the SAT, does not make the distrust and second-guessing any less real in your mind. So the sensation is real whether the assumptions that would support them are or not.
Do you follow? 🙂
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@ King
You make a valid point, that “knowing” will not change every mind, or most minds — BUT — it might change some.
I know I am not the same person I was ten or fifteen years ago. I have changed because i SOUGHT change.
The people who know but do not change, really don’t BELIEVE. They just have the rhetoric down.
Also, in every social movement It’s the MINORITY that affects real social change,NOT the majority. The majority of people are followers. which is why less than a thousand people have dominated a nation (the U.S) of over 300 MILLION people.
The reason I do my blogs is NOT because I think I can change every mind, but for the few that I reach, they might reach someone else, and so on and so on and so on..
Just because it seems impossible, is not excuse to not try.
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Well, I don’t want to be the voice of discouragement on any level.
It’s just that for a significant economic change it would take MOST Black people to make it work. And they would have to catch on fast. Most of the people I know who have tried had very real time limits for their business experiments. If people don’t get on board fairly quickly, nobody wants to lose money moth after month waiting for people to deprogram themselves or something.
I’m sorry to sound so cynical but like I said, I’ve been there behind friends with the Black Bakery, and the Down home Pizza, and the BBQ joints, and the Should Food cuisines, and the Vegetarian restaurants, and… it’s just hard… so very hard to believe now.
Maybe in another generation or two. Sometimes you have to take the long view. Everything may not come in our lifetimes.
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@ King
I hear you and understand the cynicism, believe me.
All one can do is plant seeds and hope something will grow out of it in the long and short future —
The white supremacy is so corrupt that it is racing towards its own demise.
They will be a change, but what that will be, I have no idea.
And I agree that it will probably not happen in my lifetime
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Such despondency and cynicism from the two of you King and TrojanPam… ;-(
If white supremacy really is that powerful and supreme then why not just accept it for what it is instead of challenging it? Learn to work with it and accommodate it instead!
I agree with you TrojanPam that change is happening right now and more people in Western societies globally are awaking to this change.
My point would be to focus on being the new desired change you would like to see NOW. Then as this flawed and unequal system gradually crumbles those awakening individuals will want to gravitate towards what you are already doing.
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@Trojan Pam
I agree with you Pam. It is a con game that the media throws at us. I’ve also noticed the separation of black males and black females in the media escalate. It’s extremely disheartening because it’s giving the horrible message to blacks that the only true love you can find is outside of your race. (This I used to believe not long ago besides the media. I was obsessed with interracial love, I don’t see any problem with it it’s just the way that I downed two black people together compared to it.) I knew that I needed it to change and abagond’s blog have reinforced the change that I want to have in myself. If that makes sense.
Yes, I still harbor a lot of internalized racism in myself but I want to purge as much as I can and remove as much poison I’ve collected along the years from the confusing experiences I’ve had growing up.
The division of genders in the black community is sickening.
I’ve been to your blog and I believe that I saw the book. I will look again. Thank you for responding. I really appreciate it and you have given me a sense of comfort.
I am still young so sorry if I came off naive in my first post and this post. I am still learning about all of this. Also, sorry for responding late. I feel that I am passive a lot of the time and it’s frustrating to have this fear of speaking up. So I do like to write it out.
I feel like reading your comments and everyone else’s have made me have a better understanding of this world that we live in. That or I could be loosing my mind with all of this reading.
Also, I really want to thank you Abagond for this blog. Keep going strong. You’ve unfolded so many crooked things in me. I may not be in a very comfortable position right now and there’s still some confusion inside of me but I feel at least I’m going into a good direction.
All in all like I said before I’m still learning.
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@ AJ
All of us are still learning, myself included.
It literally curls my hair to remember how confused, self-hating and white-validation-seeking I was not so long ago. Now, knowing that I was brainwashed against myself, I forgave myself. It wasn’t my fault that I lived in a society that taught me from infancy to adulthood that white was superior. It was and is the fault of those who CREATED that cruel and false system.
What helped me was reading books by black authors who explained how racism functioned and why white people created this system of behavior.
As far as internalized racism, I don’t believe black people cannot practice racism because racism requires SYSTEMS OF POWER that allow us to deprive another group of their rights. There are no black people in america powerful enough to stop white people from living where they want to live, working where they want to work, going to the school of their choice, or the power to send them to prison or set them free, or anything else.
that is SYSTEMATIC POWER — something WE don’t have.
The only people who control the systems of power are white people, therefore only white people can practice racism.
Now, some people say bigotry and racism are the same, but I disagree. An individual black person can harm an individual white person but there are NO systems in place to defend that black person’s RIGHT to harm a white person. Even black police officers are not allowed to harm a white person — and that’s why you have NEVER heard of a black police officer shooting an unarmed white person.
But we all know how common the reverse scenario is. There is NO COMPARISON between what black people do and white people are allowed to do.
check out my site and read the excerpt from the book, “Trojan Horse: Death of a Dark Nation”
where I try to fully explain this point of view
if you send an email from my site with your email, I’ll send some free info you might find constructive. If you’re not comfortable with sharing your email, that’s cool
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Look, I like TJS but I have to disagree with him on this whole black women issue. I think he is holding a grudge against black women because he was almost destroyed by one; this is no reason to generalize all black women. Look, I do agree that black women can do more but so could black men. I believe that black women are the most beautiful creatures on this earth, especially the dark-skinned ones. I would never turn my on them just b/c my feeling got hurt. TJS needs to remember the famous words of Tupac “Since we all came from a women, got our name from a women, and our game from a women. I wonder why we take from women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think its time we killed for our women, be real to our women, try to heal our women, cus if we dont we’ll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies
Peace. Maurice
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i think he is just plain racist. All he talks about is racism.
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a must shared testimony ,AM from United states .i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in June last year on a business summit i meet a man called Dr swami, he is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love s gone misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job i m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 4weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3 year i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try and in 6 days when i returned to taxes my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help his email address: swamitemple@yahoo.com or you can contact his website http://drswamitmarraigesaver.webs.com/
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http://www.balleralert.com/profiles/blogs/an-open-letter-to-tommy-sotomayor
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I don’t get him. He hate white men,black women and mix people but love white women/black men.
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Moanika
Thanks for posting that. I had heard about it and I was hoping she would respond back to that idiot.
I think his deal is all about being treated like a spoiled child instead of being treated like a man. Black females are simply not going to treat him like a spoiled child.
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Most of these posts are putting black males down. But, you guys don’t want black males to put down black women? I don’t get it.
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I
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Sorry, something messed up my comment before I had even started writing it.
I just noticed Sotomayor’s video rant on black women chasing after white “snow kings”, which would have repulsed me if his hypocrisy weren’t so comical. It’s obvious he has an entitlement attitude towards “his” women even as he fetishizes non-black women, and you don’t need telepathy to sense his underlying sexism. What he and his acolytes are really looking for are subservient women whom they can drag by the hair without resistance. And you have to admit, that kind of domineering mentality towards 50% of humanity is dangerously similar to rapists and abusive husbands.
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Do not get me started on this piece of shit.
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I think Tommy is pointing out alot of what people think. He does so in a controversial manner and can be harsh, however he IS pointing out reality. Why is it that black women continue to make so many fatherless- illegitimate children? is that a result of ‘internalised racism’? do they not have ANY accountability at all? Are they all still so slave like minded that they can’t think for themselves? This is the problem I have with this internalised racism argument. I can see it has influences, but at the end of it, we as individuals have a choice and a huge number of black women keep making the wrong choices. As evident in actual data about the black community. I have always felt that the African Americans should of done like the jews and found/demanded their own country after slavery. Built their OWN society with their own rules and stop trying to fit in with mainstream America. Why they sit about demanding repratriations from a population who were not involved in slavery. Whose like 5% -10% of their ancestors were involved. We kind forget that not all white people owned slaves back in the day. It was only a small portion of the population. Racism was wide spread of course. It’s almost quite sadistic how some black people go on trying to fit in and at the same time cursing out the white majority. Weird. Seirra Leone was a good idea. Has had lots of issues, but the principle was right.
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NKNK
He is pointing out what he thinks, but not what is a reality. The question you pose for black women have to also be posed for black men. Last I checked it takes two. Do black men have any accoutability or is Tommy and the bunch going to pretend as if they do not need to be scolded?
The data about the black community is not solely evident of black women’s choices.
“Why they sit about demanding repratriations from a population who were not involved in slavery.”—-This population benefits from slavery. The argument of reparations is to pay based on who benefited from it. Not who was involved it it. For example if a company made millions from slavery then they would be the ones to pay to the decedent of who they owned.
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Tommysoto-moisture LMFAO! ^_^
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[…] they put down dark skinned women is because he wants them to do better which is a very lame excuse. Tommy Sotomayor made himself relevant by insulting black women and putting them down every chance he could. His followers are mainly white supremacists who, of […]
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[…] they put down dark skinned women is because he wants them to do better which is a very lame excuse. Tommy Sotomayor made himself relevant by insulting black women and putting them down every chance he could. His followers are mainly white supremacists who, of […]
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[…] they put down dark skinned women is because he wants them to do better which is a very lame excuse. Tommy Sotomayor made himself relevant by insulting black women and putting them down every chance he could. His followers are mainly white supremacists who, of […]
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He and Roissy (Heartiste) havegone down the same dark path. Don’tt just check out his Wikipedia – just take a few minutes of his interview with David Duke.
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[…] they put down dark skinned women is because he wants them to do better which is a very lame excuse. Tommy Sotomayor made himself relevant by insulting black women and putting them down every chance he could. His followers are mainly white supremacists who, of […]
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I’ve never thought much of Tommy Sotomayor. Just like James David Manning, Sotomayor’s main gimmick is to market his own self-hatred and resentment towards black women as a point of controversy for Youtube viewers to eat up with a big wooden spoon. You know, like the ones your momma probably had hanging up on the kitchen or dining room wall. A charlatan’s charlatan.
Inbred self-hatred is a carefully crafted, self-wielded instrument for keeping the black American population at the bottom of the socioeconomic totem pole.
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[…] down dark skinned women is because he wants them to do better which is a very lame excuse. Tommy Sotomayor made himself relevant by insulting black women and putting them down every chance he could. His followers are mainly white supremacists who, of […]
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[…] they put down dark skinned women is because he wants them to do better which is a very lame excuse. Tommy Sotomayor made himself relevant by insulting black women and putting them down every chance he could. His followers are mainly white supremacists who, of […]
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[…] they put down dark skinned women is because he wants them to do better which is a very lame excuse. Tommy Sotomayor made himself relevant by insulting black women and putting them down every chance he could. His followers are mainly white supremacists who, of […]
LikeLiked by 1 person
[…] they put down dark-skinned women is that he wants them to do better which is a very lame excuse. Tommy Sotomayor made himself relevant by insulting black women and putting them down every chance he could. His followers are mainly white supremacists who, of […]
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