Trans-attracted men, also known as transoriented men or, as a put-down, tranny chasers, are men whose strongest attraction is to transgender women – women who were born as boys but see themselves as women. They are mostly attracted to those that look like a woman but still have a penis. To them that is not “ew”, but “the best of both worlds”. Others see it as a fetish, sexual perversion or form of closeted homosexuality.
Because of transphobic shame most men who feel the attraction keep it a secret.
The paradox is that while we know many men feel the attraction – the market for transgender porn and trans female sex workers leaves little doubt of that – the shame keeps many transgender women and the trans-attracted men who would love them in the closet. Fearing loneliness and wanting a love life, they try to carry on as cisgendered women and straight men. Such relationships have not enjoyed the huge gains in acceptance in the West made by gay and lesbian relationships since the 1990s.
Trans-attracted men are little studied but this much seems to be true:
- Only 10% consider themselves gay, and even those see it as a different kind of gay. Most consider themselves straight or bisexual or something without a name.
- They rarely become gay – that is, have relationships with homosexual cisgender men.
- Some do want to become transgender themselves or cross-dress, but it is not common.
- Their numbers are growing due to transgender pornography on the Internet.
- Most experience trans women through pornography and sex workers, like the ladyboys of Thailand. Some of these men are just in it for the kicks but about half would probably consider a serious relationship.
- Few have had a serious relationship with a transgender woman.
- Some who have experience move from more womanly looking transgender women to those in a less changed femboy state.
- Only 5% to 10% go for those who have had a sex change operation.
- Their preference for trans women tends to grow over time and rarely reverts back to a preference for cis women.
- Between 30% and 50% do not need to be topped as part of the relationship; about 20% prefer it.
- Most keep their attraction a secret.
They are not gay: ordinary gay men are not attracted to trans women, while plenty of straight men are.
Some say most straight men are attracted to trans women, but transphobic shame keeps them in denial. Others say only about 5% are, that they seem to be part of a trans spectrum, with some becoming trans women themselves.
There are successful relationships between trans-attracted men and transgender women, but they are little known to the public at large.
The Internet is a blessing and a curse: On the one hand pornography presents trans women as sex objects, not as women to love and treasure. On the other hand, it has made more men than ever know of their attraction and, in the long run, will provide a way for them to find their other half.
– Abagond, 2013, 2016.
Source: Transoriented.com.
See also:
- trans women
- Janet Mock – trans woman
- Poll: Would you date this woman?
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Wow…Well I accuse Abagond of being trans-attracted. Let’s put his photo up along with Eddy Murphy and Barack Obama.
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Mack’s character on “it’s always sunny in philadelphia” treats this subject in a semi serious fashion.
Tgirls or whatnot first caught my eye as i got serious about dealing with my own rape survivor issues about 10 years back via internet porn.
It dont bother me none.
You do you.
Kinda *boggled* at the jump here we were all waiting for boston. I guess i can kinda see something?
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Way to go wp. Authentication issue then a double post.
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Curiouser and curiouser lol
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I find many of them extremely attractive and wouldn’t hesitate becoming involved in a sexual relationship with a trans. No problems. The only major issue I have with attraction to trans is they don’t have a woman’s hips, considering big feminine hips are probably top of my list in terms of physical attraction, that’s a big issue. However, I’m sure in more cosmopolitan places there are trans that have surgically enhanced hips. I live in a small city, so the chances of me coming across a trans is rather small and my attraction is not significant enough to go looking. I also find the whole Thai tranny thing a little, I don’t know, the balance of power in such a situation turns me right off. I’m not opposed to money transactions for sex but sex tourism to such an impoverished country is morally wrong in my opinion.
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People are so different from one another in so many ways… how many categories do we each fit into?
I’ve heard that there are “two types of people in this world: those who put people into categories and those who don’t,” but there’s only one type of thinking person in this world… people who put people into categories. Categorization is a sign of logical thinking. Without it, we would not know which foods were safe to eat, we would not have words for anything, we would not be able to split up the work of running a society… but why do the categories always have to take on so much unnecessary significance? I don’t understand. Maybe we are afraid to face the complexity of existence. It is easier to think in terms of opposites, like a children’s book: big/small, black/white, boy/girl, old/young, good/bad. When infants are first born, they like to look at simple, high-contrast images because they are easier on their underdeveloped eyes. What do our choices of simple, high-contrast ideas say about the human mind?
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I wonder if this is truly a new thing though…sure modern medicine gives them the opportunity to change their bodies to be more feminine… but the concept of a man who looks like a woman and self-identifies as woman is nothing new. There were definitely men, in different cultures, who passed themselves as women, and tried to maintain a “feminine” body as much as possible and catered to men who were attracted to that mixture of masculine and feminine traits…. so I don’t think this is something new per se, modern medicine just took it to the next level.
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It’s the crying game. I have read these stories about Eddie Murphy being involved with transgender females. I didn’t know if there was any truth to it. But in Hollywood all kinds of craziness happens.
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This reminds me of the broadway production M, Butterfly. It also reminds me of the film The Crying Game with Forrest Whittaker.
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Did I miss something; has their been something in the news lately to bring this up?
I’m gonna say guys who go for transwomen are gay, if they have to have the penis…..if the moment the penis is gone they don’t feel attracted anymore….well; they like men, they just like them to be “pretty”.
Thats not being gay or not being bi-, thats just having a pretty specific set of aesthetic standards to be met.
As for the trans-people; there are people who are XY and XX who are not born towards their usual genders and people aren’t sure of why this is, it is rare but it does happen….though I don’t know if its common enough to apply to all transgendered people.
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eh @miss mary b this aint no movie
for myself it was a ‘soft’ vector into why would someone do that to me?
and i think the ts/tg can be a ‘cheater’ thing to some dudes, like it’s not gay or something, like is not gay to be the top or like that… prison mentality
i’m thinkin’ there is something here clearly not about sharia or anything, but sheesh it took me a damn 15 years to be able to talk about sex and drugs freely … a lot of dudes never reach that point and get stuck
feelin some 100% comin on
bring it
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@v8driver; I appreciate you sharing your truth. You do what you have to do to get healing and restoration. I can respect this. It is very brave of you to share. I am sure this is a reality for a lot of men. Again Peace and Respect. Keep speaking your TRUTH.
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damn sure about no color of no skin excepting them brazilians nm…
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eh and @ miss mary b my ex wife sure werent feelin that all but she sure like the coke too, it’s a long story and out of scope for my blog, and this blog and well maybe it’s time for a new one actually i pretty much just settled on a black girlfriend as a nice goal for sometime you know but most women are not about hearing about this all it is non standard non mainstream and not acceptable to most people and once you cut off all the bisexual prostitutes as a defense mechanism a normal girl is just gonna be like are you effing kidding me? it’s a hard road and look at us talkin for abagond but well i know how to dig and interrogate and break off the edge
have a blessed day again not sayin its goin to improve your station however… you may feel neutral and somewhat chagrined to admit your feelings.
not adviseable in a political venue personally it was neck and neck with a 10 person hit list it just worked itself out…
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btw this not my thread
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https://www.facebook.com/ajax/sharer/?s=99&appid=2309869772&p%5B0%5D=1489932727&p%5B1%5D=10200942535074178
cross post oh well you know
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fb and wp not so good together like imagine that this thread
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eh well this be linked to/on my personal facebook book six actual know what i mean how bout that better than… know what i want to say yeah you do rise above
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known as extreme harshness to my people however
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have a nice day and good luck with that one bro took me half my life
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I watched a “she-male” movie when I was a teen. As I recall, none of the so-called she-males were able to achieve full erection. As a matter of fact, most stayed completely flaccid regardless of the amount and type of stimulation they received. This had to be, it dawned on me, a side effect of the estrogen they were taking in order to affect and to maintain a softer, more womanly appearance.
I’m thinking now that If a typical pre-operative transwoman’s penis does little more than just hang there limply, then perhaps there are other reasons why a man might prefer sex and/or a relationship with these women. Sex being pretty much restricted to fellatio (performed only on him) and ‘back-entry’ (performed only on the partner) is one reason. Perhaps a distrust of XX women is another.
Whatever the case may be, I do believe that most ‘truly’ gay men probably prefer a partner with a more … ‘interactive’ penis.
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Totally OT comment: Abagond, I love your blog’s cover image.
dbg
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Abagond, this is the second one in almost as many days. If there is anything you want to talk to me about – anything, you have my e-mail address. I t would be good to see you get back on the straight and narrow path.
Also, I think that v8driver may have been hacked.
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^^ LMAO
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nope not hacked just gettin over my mid life crisis without the benefit of professional help my stamps and medical is cut off
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call it hittin a nerve i reckon or a test run for my book i guess sort of pre-staging some stuff here, it’s not pretty but i have had an extremely difficult life, this stuff is not some effete intellectual bilious vapour to me or an exercise in liberal sympathy
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call it like you see it
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As long as the subsequent “fight for civil equality” does NOT overshadow the fight against racism and/or mix with it as if it were the same, anyone can be who he/she wishes to be. That’s my take on it.
I don’t like it at all when discrimination against “different from the norm” people is called “racism”, because it is not racism.
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thanks miss b it sure aint easy it just all got so extreme
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@Fiamma
Maybe so; but according to this post at least, 90-95% of them “only” go for pre-op transgenders, only around 5-10% are attracted to post-op transgenders.
Maybe they don’t desire a working penis but there’s still clearly a psychological need for the penis itself. Otherwise wouldn’t those numbers be reversed?
So I’m guessing its basically 1 of 2 things:
A.) Gay but so in the closet they aren’t even open to themselves
B.) Gay/Bi- but their aesthetic standards were still defined by general society, so they are still attracted to a set kind of features
or
I suppose a third option could be:
C.) Gay but have a serious thing for domination and what could be more “dominant” than using another man as if he were just a woman?
Which I guess would fall under the same kind of thinking back in the day when they used to rape men who were captured on the field of battle.
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V-4,
This particular type of attraction may very well be a variant of homosexuality, I really don’t know. I just know that, as a heterosexual woman, the thought of being sexual with another person who has breasts and feminine curves is wholly unappealing to me — penis or no penis.
Also, I have no idea why you’d put the word “just” in front of the phrase “a woman”, but rape is an act of aggression regardless as to whether it’s male-on-female or male-on-male. Men who rape other men are not necessarily homosexual in orientation.
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this thread makes me feel like a bug on a pin getting studied
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ooh ooh ooh i know or like that thread about the scandinavian fellow back in the 1970’s who ventured deep into the american ghetto for 2 months and wrote a book about it “i say old chap”
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@fiamma yeah ok that makes sense *not*, if you can rape a dude you can have relations with a female, just by the proportion of force necessary? and it being more traditional and all…
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Pardon, v8driver? I don’t get what youre saying….
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Ok, I did not say whether anyone could or could not have relations with a female, male or even a vacuum cleaner. Though some homosexual men say that they cannot be sexually aroused by women, there are plenty of men who claim to be 100% gay who have sex with women and even managed to impregnated them. Similarly, there are women who claim to be attracted only to other women, even though they can and do have sex with men.
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Also, I, Fiamma, am not trying to rape any dudes or have relations with any females, thanks anyway.
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[…] for Female to Male, and maybe even another for whatever the fuck is in between that. That way, the active community of tranny-loving deviants can go mate with those types, leaving the rest of us to engage in our normal […]
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@fiamma i get it you are straight. please pardon my snippiness perhaps, this all just kinda popped out and is in my top three of most difficult things i’ve done. Which is a fallacy and sort of obfuscatory or something like that because anyone who knows me and how i get under the influence of stimulant narcotics… which is clinically considered ‘acting out’ by me and several counselors; however, that is not to denigrate or consider transgenders as some type of sex object, over which i have been ruminating considerably today and yesterday. Stone cold sober i might add.
i am saying guys that have sex with other guys are participateing in a gay activity, the only exception that i could possibly think of, and believe me i have a little more experience with the visual stuff online and people i’ve known/been with sexually; is this one guy i saw on tv imagine that who was a rape activist because someone got his whole cell block to rape him, the ringleader threatened all the inmates in that particular block under duress of similar treatment, so there maybe limited circumstances to the contrary.
Then there is the whole thing of identification and ah man this is just giving me a headache, thanks. Is this what coming out is about? must be.
For me it is a search for boundaries, decorum, and some type of self-respect.
not there yet, man…
-tc
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@satanforce good luck in the bay area have a some type of day oh well maybe you could be nice and ask somebody guess not
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“Acceptance starts at home. Learning love starts at home. Learn to become supportive of the child you have and not just the child you thought you had.” says Chris. Due to the fact that there is a high rate of suicide among transgender population (41% transgender population vs 1.6% general population), it is imperative that we need to continue to educate and empower people to prevent loss of lives. Bottom line, we all just want to be LOVED and ACCEPTED.
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@Fiamma
I didn’t phrase it well; but yeah it would basically be an act of homosexuality and sexism against women as well that drives it.
Suppose if they really freaked on the domination itself there would be some chance they weren’t gay but the odds are pretty low.
That and the odds that a man who rapes men or just one man isn’t gay is pretty low, since they do after all have the option to rape women.
As for sexuality; ever heard of Dr. Childers, she had a study about sexuality that came out with some interesting findings on female bisexualness and male bi-sexualness.
Basically every female was on some level attracted to men, even the lesbians who said they felt no attraction for men whatsover.
That being said; all women (in her study anyways) were not only attracted to women but reacted more to images of women than they did men.
Interestingly enough; lesbians down played their attraction to men and straight women down played their attraction to women and played up their attraction to men.
To be fair; I say “down play”, its just as well possible they are in some way unware of their reactions for some reason or another.
Another interesting thing of that study was that women had a wider variety of things that could affect them visually.
Common wisdom is that men are the more visual creatures but that study seem to imply the opposite.
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@Fiamma
Oh yeah; I may be wrong but what I think v8driver was trying to say was that it would be strange for a straight man to rape a man instead of a woman, especially since traditionally speaking straight men rape woman.
And would have to deal with people thinking he was gay and the social ostracization that could bring, sadly enough possibly more than just being a rapist would.
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I doubt trans-attracted men are gay, closeted or otherwise. The reason is simple: uncloseted gay men are not attracted to trans women. The men who are attracted to them are almost always otherwise straight or bisexual. Maybe they are not quite straight or whatever, but they are much closer to straight than gay.
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There are also many women attracted to trans but we aren’t talked about at all becuse most trans are attracted to men
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All I know is i love transgender woman. I don’t see them as men, I see them as women!
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@ Steven; You do you Boo.
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I am somewhat trans attracted, but it is mostly a sexual fetish. I am also straight and don’t have any attractions to men. In fact, my standards of beauty for a trans woman are much higher than they are for a cis woman. For cis women, I’m ok with shorter hair or smaller breasts, but not for trans. For trans women, I need long, real hair, breasts and not just a padded wonder bra, and preferably some estrogen treatments.
As for the whole penis thing; does that make guys who take fingers or sex toys in their ass, gay – even though they have no attraction to or have never been with a man? I think that’s a closed minded way of thinking about sex. Also, saying a trans woman is just a pretty guy is pretty insulting to trans women. They are women, not men
I’m typing all this just to give you perspective as to what trans attracted males have going through their heads. I’m still very much attracted to natural women as well.
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i met ramona in reading the other day i think she was a dude i wouldn’t smoke crack eh i was just passin thru dark black like i like em oh the brazilians i guess
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she said shes from new york ah that means five boros
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http://www.advocate.com/health/love-and-sex/2014/02/10/watch-are-men-who-are-attracted-transgender-women-gay#.UvluEk9DQmA.facebook
“WATCH: No, For The Last Time, Men Attracted to Trans Women Aren’t Gay”
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ah man a poster on fb, actually she recently became my friend, we have been sharing a lot of similar links, i mean a lot, and i respect her you know, a black american female, shared this posting on fb, im conflicted on commenting there like i did here for some reason, huh imagine that
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@ v8driver
Great video that gives a clear, logical explanation. Thanks.
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yeah well, i took it this far…
my friend on fb deleted her share of this video after i commented on it, something like, “the {video} commenter has very much female gestures, etc. is it acting? who knows.”
if i was going to do that… uhh, i’ma drop this here.
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I am not sure why labels, or debate for that matter, need to occur. We are who we are. I am only attracted to the female form. I had only been with women.A couple of years ago I went on a dating line. I chatted with a girl who eventually revealed that she was a transgendered woman. We ended up hooking up. She was a gorgeous model type black girl. I won’ t be graphic, but she dresses sexy, and the sex we have had in the last couple of years has been amazing. The outfits, the role-playing- she keeps e very thing alive , vibrant, and exciting. I am not gay, but I am hopelessly infatuated in a beautiful girl with an extra part.
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@Carl
I went to a talk last week about Native American gender and sexuality where they talked about how Two Spirits could marry their same biological sex or the opposite and the person who married them, if same sex, wasn’t considered gay as they were seen as marrying the man in the biological woman or the woman in the biological man. The dominant view of gender and sexuality is colonial like all other hegemonic thought about anything in our world.
There was a young guy who commented on one of transgender activist Jazz’s videos on YouTube complimenting her that she was beautiful and that he would like to take her out, and all these jerks were giving him crap about being gay when he was just trying to be supportive and give her a compliment.
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