My wife Rebecca (pictured right as Vanessa A. Williams, her avatar in this blog) is in Jamaica with our two sons for a week, from August 20th to 27th. She is going to see her father who will probably not last another year. He has been healthy all his life but has been going downhill fast since the winter. The boys will spend time with their cousin Tiffany, who seems pretty Americanized even though she has only ever lived in Jamaica.
I am not there but back in America. I have a restraining order against Rebecca, so going with her was out of the question. She has threatened to kill me several times.
At two in the afternoon on the 20th, just a few hours after she arrived in Jamaica, someone tried to break into the house where I am staying. Very strange: It is a quiet neighbourhood where that sort of thing is rare.
The first thing that entered my brain is that she sent someone to kill me. It would be the perfect time to do it: she is out of the country and the boys, who stay with me, are out of the way. If I die she gets $500,000 in life insurance.
If it was a hit man, then presumably he will be back. If it was a robber, then probably not.
I told my mother that if I turn up dead, it is almost certainly Rebecca who is behind it: she is the only person I know who has ever ever threatened my life. She is also the only person who stands to gain from my death.
I live over 150 km away from her, but now she is going to sell the house and move close to me – to be able to spend more time with the boys, she says. So far she has respected the restraining order, so hopefully that will be protection enough – otherwise I will have to leave the country.
Her mother was the only one who could talk sense into her. But her mother died suddenly in 2003 and since then she has been getting worse and worse. She will stop at nothing to get her way: first she will try charm, then reason, then anger, then threats, then violence, then death threats. I did not wait to see what comes next. She has gone over the deep end. She needs help. But she does not think so.
I was hoping that if I kept the boys away from her she would get help. But the court will not allow it – she is their mother after all. So she has little reason to change. But if she does not change, I cannot live with her. Nor can any man for that matter, not for long.
The strange thing is, despite everything I still like her and love her. I miss her! But going back is out of the question till she gets help and makes lasting changes.
See also:
- Rebecca
- I left my wife
- Dearest Rebecca #4
- My wife again – my last post on her
- The marriage thread on this blog
I visits your site on regular basis, but not to be your personal business. I hopes everything goes well for you and your marriage. I hope your wife will not do such a terrible thing like that (like set a hit out on you). GOD BLESS and I wish you the best of luck Abangond.
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Thank you.
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It’s time to seek a divorce and I’m not joking. Many abused women go through similar stages. They think the abuser will change. They hope they will seek help, just go to sites which address this. To use a an old cliche;’think about the children’. Do you want your children growing up witnessing this kind of abuse. It can and probably will effect them adversely as they grow into adulthood and can have a negative impact on their future relations with potential partners.
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I came across your site three weeks ago and I cannot get enough of it. I hope all goest well with you and your family!
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You did the right thing leaving… best wishes to you and to your sons.
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You welcome, Abagond. I loved how u touch issues especially in our black culture and how society viewed us.
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Abagond,
I’m so sorry about your situation. My brother is in that same situation you described in your post, except for the death threat. He had to get away from her earlier this month after she hit him on the head with a picture. I’ll be praying for you and my brother. May God be with you and your family.
La Reyna
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poor abagond, God Bless i’ll pray for you and your wife
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Hey hang in there. Divorce is terrible. I went through it ten years ago and still have nightmares surrounding the trauma of not only being divorced, but realizing that the person you believed was one thing, is really another. I had two young children at the time also. Keep praying, stay strong, try to learn from this so you will not be too bitter for the next person or not give another person a chance who deserves it.
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Thanks everyone. I will pray for your brother, La Reyna!
I have heard my share of divorce horror stories too!
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Praying for you and your family.
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To Abagond,
Thanks.
La Reyna
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when is ur wife’s birthday?
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Hopefully things will resolve for you soon.
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lord have mercy. abagond please tell rebecca to call me so i can get the real side of the story.
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lord have mercy. abagond please tell rebecca to call me so i can get the real side of the story.
I guess that’s in keeping with the rest of your comments.
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Good luck to you. Trust your instincts.
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I guess that’s in keeping with the rest of your comments.
i guess that goes to show you dont know anything about women cuz women dont just take ONE side of the story.
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mike:
My wife’s birthday was in May.
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To Jasmine:
i guess that goes to show you dont know anything about women cuz women dont just take ONE side of the story.
For all I know Abagond could be a white hillbilly such as this guy:
typing away in a trailer in rural Oklahoma and channeling W.E.B. Dubois.
That said, if he has a restraining order on his wife, if I were in his shoes there is no way I would give out her contact information to a random, possibly hostile, anonymous person on the internet. He has absolutely nothing to gain by it and potentially quite a bit to lose.
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That is how I see it.
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so you actually thought i thought he would give me her phone number? you cant REALLY be that stupid.
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Agabond, this a soap opera storyline, indeed!!!
So sorry your’e going through that, my man. For the sake of the kids, this situation has to work out.
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I read you post a lot, but I do not comment. I am a Guyanese young lady in her 20’s who lives in MN. I dont mean to pry in your business, but you have not posted a while in the marriage category. Are you still with your wife? Obviously, you do not need to answer, but I was just wondering.
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Dang, that sounded scary this was in 2009 i see. So i hope things are better in 2014.
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