Most of the following should apply to women of any colour anywhere in the world, but as it is based on my experience as well as an article from Ebony magazine, it applies particularly to black women in America and the West Indies.
If you want to date and marry a black woman, then you should:
1. Only go after beautiful black women.
Many are not taken and not all of them are stuck up! You might think you would have more luck going after plainer women, but that only works in the short run, because you will not be able to do what comes next:
2. Tell her how beautiful she is. Repeatedly.
No matter how amazing she looks, she thinks she is fat, that her hair is no good, that her body does not please you. Tell her how you love her eyes, her body, her shape, her hair, her skin colour, everything. But this only works if you mean it and she believes it.
3. Keep an open mind.
Do not assume that she:
- is stuck up
- is overbearing
- has a man
- does not need a man (she does)
Even if she is overbearing, she does not think of herself that way: it is her way of showing her love and concern for you. Like some mothers.
4. Only go after a woman you would want to marry.
She is not necessarily looking for a husband, but if the two of you last, then after a point she will want to settle down and get married.
5. Be faithful.
She may forgive, but she will never forget. The hurt you cause can last a lifetime. It will also make this impossible:
6. Make her feel special.
She wants the flowers and all that, but she also wants to know that she is the only one for you. Show her. Surprise her. Use your imagination.
7. Lose weight and look your best.
Unless she is blind.
8. Become knowledgeable about her body and how to please her.
She wants it as much as you do, but she wants more than five minutes!
9. Do not be cheap.
It makes her feel cheap. She will not want to be with you. It is not your money that she is interested in, but what it says about your character.
10. Let her flirt.
In most cases she is not looking for someone new. She just wants to know if she still has it, if she is still desirable to other men. She means no harm by it.
10. Think James Bond.
What draws women to James Bond is not so much his looks or his car, but his confidence, daring, and boldness; how he is able to face any circumstance no matter how bad it looks. He knows his mind and takes action.
See also:
- Secrets about Black women – from Ebony magazine, June 1991. Makes many of the same points at greater length, but it seems to be written for and by black women.
- “The Dating Game” – from the Field Negro. Advice from his wife on how not to screw up the second date.
- black women
- When your marriage is in trouble
- James Bond
- Black women are beautiful
i believe this appears to all women across the globe. we all have that innate desire to be told that we are beautiful and loved exactly for what we are.
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That is what I was thinking, but it is good to hear it confirmed!
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Good morning,
First time reading this post. Great tips but I think they apply to ANY women, regardless of race. No?
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This is a great post!
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First you say only go after beautiful balck women. As though you think some are better than others depending on hiow they look. That lets me know that all else you have to say is a load of BS.
Last you say that women don’t care about looks of her man. Talk about a double standard. You are absurd.
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Very accurate. You did your homework…great job Abagond!
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This applies to both women and men, I think.
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Cool… I like this one.
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This is actually kinda funny, but true in many ways.
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OK. I agree with most of this and it does apply to every woman. Sorry to dig so deep in your older post but I was curious.
The only thing that I disagree with is your number 1. What you might consider plain, he may consider beautiful…..or is he suppose to go after the one he sees other men going after or the one that black men desire as the “beautiful” one. I think that’s biased, bc obviously every guy who goes after the “beautiful” one will not get her, even the “plain” one, if she is plain in his eyes, may not want him.
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I loved reading this, it made my morning 😉
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“Think James Bond”….?
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this is a nice post..i totally agree with the points except # 1. u dnt necessary ave 2 go 4 a beautiful woman, unless you only like beauty and dont think of personality. because some beautiful woman has a really dispicable persona.
i love the last 1 tho “think james bond” thats a good attitude to take on, women like a man with confidence, boldness and goes for what he wants!!!!
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Very nice I love this one.
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I have to say that I greatly disagree with #10. Let her flirt. Ummmm, if we flirt she’s not going to like it as it’ll make her jealous and feel inadequite…so why should it be any different when the shoe is on the other foot? When I have a gf I absolutely don’t want her flirting w/ other men….thats total bullshit.
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Eh. I really hated this article. To be honest, number one made me so mad I stopped reading.
Nice post image, though.
Wait… is this supposed to be funny?
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I liked all of this save number ten. It’s all very truthful.
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And this different how you every other women because ? This should the rule for anybody!
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Great post here!
I don’t agree with every part of this but I agree with the idea that black women (and by extension all women) should be treated like they’re special by someone who wants them, and should treat them with respect. Treating us like we are a last resort or just one of many doesn’t endear us to you, we get that enough from society in general. We don’t need that from a partner.
But I had to smile at the James Bond point…I had never saw him that way…I hated James Bond lol.
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@Usagi
Good point, I’m thinking maybe it’s cause Black women usually aren’t given this treatment by default while other women are. We’re often devalued enough, so its good for a partner to make us feel like women and make us feel special.
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@ Ana
I suppose. I never bought into the whole wanting to be white or anything. Many of my girlfriends relationships have the same issuses, but the media only wants highlight with bw. I really never experienced that, but I want imagine it sucks.
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@ Abagond:
Re: The post.
You nailed it! You’re very wise and obviously very observant.
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Great post. I’m a bit late though.
Damn i wish i had Angela Bassett’s arms. Mine are too thin, hers look womanly.
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