- It is difficult for many white men to see black women as individuals, even when they prefer to date black women. Example: expecting all black women to be able to dance.
- Some white people tend to view the attractive, classy and intelligent black women they encounter as exceptions and exempt from being “regular black” by virtue of the fact that they do not conform to negative black female stereotypes. Example: being called white girl in a black girl’s body, a chocolate-dipped white girl.
- Some white people forget that you are black and will say stuff without thinking in front of you. Too many examples to recount.
- Referring to black people who do not conform to mainstream (white society’s) expectations as “ghetto”.
- Attributing bad behaviour on the part of the individual as a black attribute. Or racializing behaviour that has nothing to do with race.
- Some white men think they are doing black women a favour by dating and or mating them. Since black women are perceived supposedly as being on the bottom of the beauty hierarchy. This is especially true of older white men who married white, had white children, divorced and now approach young, young black women.
- Some white men who date black women think they are officially an authority or expert on black people overall by virtue of the fact that their girlfriend or wife is black.
- Some white men expect you to mindlessly agree with them about issues pertaining to politics and race, like affirmative action. When you disagree, however gently and politely, you are seen as combative or you hurt their feelings or alienate them.
- The Bodyguard Complex: Some white men feel as if it is their job to “save” the black woman from the “wretchedness” of the black community.
- White men who date black women as a way to rationalize away their own racism. Some white men think that because they date or end up with a black women that they are exempt from racist thoughts. Hence the classic phrase, “I’m not racist, I dated a black girl in high school.”
I do not condemn white men who have these thoughts. White American culture has a history of brainwashing both blacks and whites to believe certains notions and stereotypes. But there is always going to be that awkward moment where you realize how our two cultures have really been created in opposition to each other.
Overall, if you are a black women who prefers to date white men or other non-black men, go for it! As long as he respects you. If you are a black women who prefers black men, go for it, as long as he respects you. If you do not care, more power to you. That is my take on it.
- Siditty: How to Get Black Women
- Why so few white men marry black women part II – this post grew out of comments on this post
- Stuff White Men Say to Black Women
- race and dating
- More on some of the racist errors given above: