Abagond is my pen name. I write under a pen name because it is the only way I can write truthfully. Otherwise I would have to guard my words knowing that my wife and people at work and all future employers could read my every word. I have a hard enough time with commenters!
I am a computer programmer who has lived mostly in or near New York City. The part of the world that has most shaped my view of it is Uptown Manhattan. Although I tend to think of myself more individually, I am part of the wave of middle-class West Indians who left the city in the 1990s to bring up their children. I have two sons, ages 12 and 14 (as of 2010). After 15 years of marriage I left my wife, Rebecca, on March 1st 2009. I took our two sons. She was growing increasingly violent.
At university I studied computers and ancient Greek. Computers showed me how to make a living, the Greeks showed me how to live. People told me studying ancient Greek was a waste of time, but I learned far more about life and the world from the Greeks than from anything in computers.
In my 20s I was a Marxist, a materialist: If God exists, he does not matter to us. The universe is just matter in motion. In my circles in New York, Christianity was something for old women who did not know much about the world.
Then I got married, had children, settled down. Before I got married I had promised Rebecca that I would read the whole Bible. I did, cover to cover. As a materialist Marxist, no less. I found out it was not the pious fable I had always assumed it was. And so in time I became a Catholic.
My mother brought me up to be colour-blind, so I had to learn about race the hard way.
IAT racism test score: “Moderate automatic preference for Black people compared to White people”.
Briggs-Myers personality type: ISFP, like Jimi Hendrix.
Political compass: Libertarian left, like Nelson Mandela.
Lists:
- Magazines: The Economist, National Geographic.
- Books and authors I like:
- The Bible
- Shakespeare
- the Greeks: Antigone, Thucydides, Aristotle
- New York: Jamaica Kincaid, L. Sprague de Camp, Asimov
- Catholic: Augustine, Aquinas, Chesterton, Tolkien
- British: Alice in Wonderland, Emily Bronte, Orwell, Churchill, C.S. Lewis.
- Other: Hemingway.
- Music:
- jazz: Billie Holiday.
- r & b (soul/neo-soul): David Ruffin, The Supremes, Marvin Gaye, Otis Redding, Isaac Hayes, Gladys Knight, Roberta Flack, Donna Summer, Commodores, Sade, Jody Watley, Black Box, En Vogue, Faith Evans, Lauryn Hill, Erykah Badu, Kelis, Alicia Keys, Jill Scott, Solange.
- rock: Pete Townsend, Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, Bruce Springsteen, 10,000 Maniacs.
- ska/rocksteady/reggae: Annie Ruddock, Judy Mowatt.
- Film: Wizard of Oz (1939), Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958), North by Northwest (1959), Claudine (1974), Paris, Texas (1984), Boyz n the Hood (1991), Crooklyn (1994), Romeo + Juliet (1996), Gladiator (2000), Love and Basketball (2000) and anything by Hitchcock or with Gabrielle Union or Alfre Woodard in it.
– Abagond, 2007, 2015.
See also:
- Books:
- New York
- Why I write under a pen name
- Why study the Greeks
- Marx
- My political compass
- Catholic
555
I’ve been reading your blog for a very long time, Abagond. And I’m a big fan of you.
No disrespect meant when I ask you this, but what are you ethnically?
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As a black man, a Catholic and someone who has a blog about racism and discrimination, how do you feel about verse like
Leviticus 25: 45-46
45Moreover of the children of the strangers that do sojourn among you, of them shall ye buy, and of their families that are with you, which they begat in your land: and they shall be your possession.
46And ye shall take them as an inheritance for your children after you, to inherit them for a possession; they shall be your bondmen FOR EVER: but over your brethren the children of Israel, ye shall not rule one over another with rigour.
Or when Jesus says in Luke 12:46-47
46 The lord of that servant will come in a day when he looketh not for him, and at an hour when he is not aware, and will cut him in sunder, and will appoint him his portion with the unbelievers.
47 And that servant, which knew his lord’s will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be BEATEN with many stripes.
This is an honest question, and one of the reasons I stopped believing in Christianity, how do you reconcile these verses and many many others that condone slavery?
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Also I see you like Brazilian music Have you ever heard of Seu Jorge?
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I read a number of blogsincluding this one quite often, however this is one of my first comments here.
I was thinking of writing something similar on my blog. People wonder about the person writing a lot of the time, so it is nice to know a bit about the writer behind the blog.
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Abagond have you done a post on West Indians? To be honest Ive never met a West Indian before. I take it that they are black or at least part black. If so were they Africans who were brought there as slaves like the Africans who were brought to America? I would like to know more of their history. Its a shame how slavery has scattered blacks everywhere. Slavery took us away from our culture and true identity. As a African American I wonder what am I really. I know am African but from where? Am I Nigerian descent, Kenyan descent, or from the Congo etc. Im thinking about saving money for a blood test.
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There are plenty of West Indians where I live, in fact my sister is married to a Jamaican. They are the majority of blacks here(Toronto), currently. You’ve got me craving rots, LOL!
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I looked it up. I dont know why I was thinking India. Shame. Okay so West Indians are Caribbeans. Yes there are Jamiaicans here too not many though as far as I know.
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West Indians are the black English-speaking people from the Caribbean: Jamaica, Trinidad, Barbados, Grenada, Bahamas, Guyana, etc. There are large numbers of West Indians in New York, London, Toronto and Miami. I think New York has at least 500,000. No Slappz says they have bad spelling. RR says they are borderline retards. So, yes, it seems that a post is in order.
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There were a lot of West Indians where I grew up too (as well as lots of other immigrants). Especially Trinidadians, Jamaicans, and Bajans. It seemed like every other black person I met was West Indian or Haitian. They definitely have an interesting culture and I love their accents. Their food is great too; I used to stuff my face with curried chicken whenever I visited my Trinidadian “sister’s” house.
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Abagond –
– would you also consider Aruba as West Indies with the ‘papamiento’ language? -or- does it break down by the predominance of English, vs French/Spanish/Creole?
Also, I realize many get somewhat confused that are unfamiliar with the term because they think of “Indies” in the literal since of the word rather than the “Caribbean”. (Way way west of the true “Indies”.) Ironically, at later periods of time, didn’t many Indians (as well as Chinese) migrate to the Caribbean? I’m not sure on the actual numbers…
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Ironically, at later periods of time, didn’t many Indians (as well as Chinese) migrate to the Caribbean? I’m not sure on the actual numbers…
Yes, half of the population of Trinidad and Tobago are of Asian Indian descent and ethnic Chinese emigrated to multiple Caribbean islands including Trinidad and Jamaica. (Probably more but those are the destinations that I am sure about..)
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abagond, you wrote:
I think New York has at least 500,000. No Slappz says they have bad spelling.
Bad spelling? If by “bad spelling” you mean the kids have fared poorly on standardized tests in NY City public schools, then yes, bad spelling.
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ColorofLuv,
Anyone from the Caribbean can be called ‘West Indian’ and that even includes Guyana which is on the coast of America. Even though it is on the South American landmass, it is considered to share the same cultural milieu of the other islands
The respective parts of the ‘West Indian has been identified in terms of the ‘colonist’, so you have French West Indies (Martinique, Guadelope). In fact Martinique is still a colony of France, I think the term they use to describe it is as a ‘department’ of France. Dutch speaking West Indies (Aruba, Curacao) and so forth.
Just one small point the ‘Asians’ (from the Indian sub continent that is their designation in the UK) came over as ‘Indentured labourers’ who were ‘brought’ over by the British, which many aver was another form of ‘slavery’ to replace the abolition of slavery 1838 in the West Indies
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No Slap I understand that you have a strong dislike for blacks but how about leaving our kids out of it.
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I should have added that there are some in that part of the world that also identify with the US. as in the Virgin Islands, Puerto Rico to a degree and so on…
Its kind of funny how colonialism has redrawn ‘new boundaries of existence’ whether it be on the continent of Africa, Caribbean, South America..
Hmmm!!
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Ah…Im glad I found this, because I was wondering if you were a multi-generational black American. Your spelling led me to believe you were not totally “Americanized”.
I am very, very sorry to hear that your marriage didnt work out.
About the Greeks: I have always been interested…maybe I will take a Greek Philosophy class next semester.
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Yeah and if you don’t like blacks, why are you on our site no slappz. If I don’t like a group of people, I’m not going to go on any of there message boards and disprespect them whether fact or fiction. GET A LIFE.
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Spell correction Their for there
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Interestingly, I assumed you were a woman until I read this page. I wonder where that came from. I love your blog.
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So you read the Bible and became a Catholic? Well in that case let me just point out a couple things about the Catholic church and the Bible.
“The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons.
Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.
They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth.”
1st Timothy 4:1-3.
Also how is it that the Catholic church has priests who are able to forgive sins?
Did Christ ransom the saints (the spiritual church) so that they could go to influential men to have their sins removed?
“My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power,
so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power.”
1st Corinthians 2:4-5
“Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save.
When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing.”
Psalm 146:3-4
“It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.”
Psalm 118:8
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Hi, I started following your tumblog a little while ago and I have to say it’s one the most interesting ones I’ve come across yet. I thought I’d check this one out as well and it’s just as promising. I think I’ll learn a lot here. This was meant to be an introduction but
I’d like to address this no slap individual.
I am of west indian descent. My mother is from Portland Jamaica and my father is from Kingston. I’m a 17 yr old senior in a New York public high school. I have exclusively attended public schools since I started school. I took the SAT’s in my junior year and scored in the 95th percentile in critical reading and the 89th in writing. I’d also like to point out that I am lazy and I can’t remember the last time I studied. So..would you consider that low? Personally I don’t think standardized tests are in any way an accurate representation of an individuals intelligence but this is for your benefit. Hopefully you realize my race isn’t as damnable as you thought.
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Thanks for sharing this information with us Abagond. I hope you and your children are well. And I hope that your wife is getting the help that she needs, if only for the sake of your sons.
Again, thanks for the site and I wish YOU every happiness!
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I admire the honesty that pours out in your posts and am in awe of your vulnerability. I think much of that comes from writing under a pen name. I also think much of it could be an artistic illusion. Whichever it is, it works.
I fought with writing under a pen name and today I wish the altar ego had won so that I could openly post a few things (especially about work without fear of visiting an unemployment agency in the near future). My voice is authentic but restricted in a way a pen name would not have confined. I’m considering crucifying and resurrecting my blog (Easter pun completely unintended) so I may consider this as an option again but do you ever feel like you are hiding behind a veil?
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@ palmerbennett:
It does not feel like hiding behind a veil. It feels like hiding in plain sight.
Writing under a pen name gives me way more freedom than I ever would have had under my own name. The main advantage is that I do not have to concern myself with what present or future employers might think.
Still, it is not as freeing as I once thought it would be. For example, I rarely write about my personal life anymore: some commenters here and elsewhere will throw it in my face. And there are certain subjects I carefully avoid because they do appear under my government name elsewhere on the Internet and someone might be able to figure it out.
You could try keeping two blogs for a while: one under your own name and one not and see how each approach goes.
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I can see you updated this page.
Your political compass is similar to mine, though you’re gravitating more to the center.
IAT racism test is similar, too, but I show a strong preference for blacks (which, in my case, means I’m more of a misanthrope).
anything by Hitchcock or with Gabrielle Union in it.
lol
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You are a leftist Libertarian? Your political compass needs some adjusting more to the right. Please define your position.
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Your mother was correct and it wasn’t “kumbaya” The mistake made was yours – in thinking that you being that way should or would mean that so would everyone else. Rather than accept that and continuing to spread “kumbaya” as you were able to you capitulated and became like the very people you rail against.
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Anyone have a can of air freshener?^^^^^^^^^^^^ Clown!
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What (computer languages do you program in?
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Hi Abagond,
I found this/your blog just tonight while looking for statistics that might show numbers of muslim murderers vs. number
s of white murderers. You are very interesting. I am hoping to learn more about your world perspective. Is your site current or is it abandoned either temporarily or permanently?
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You left out White hating racist. That’s a key component of your make-up and the #1 reason why finding out who you are and outting you to your employers is important.
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^^^^You are special aren’t you?
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“At university I studied computers and ancient Greek. Computers showed me how to make a living, the Greeks showed me how to live. People told me studying ancient Greek was a waste of time, but I learned far more about life and the world from the Greeks than from anything in computers.”
Abagond, how come you get to make such blatant Eurocentrist claim without the disapprobation of the Afro-eccentrics led by that odd duck known as resw77?
I’m glad you’re into the Ancient Greeks, when are you going to do something on Thucydides, specifically, the Melian dialogue? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melian_Dialogue. I love his cynicism.
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@ jonolan
I am racist. Did I not say that in the post? As to hating Whites, you need to provide a quote to back up your claim.
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@ gro jo
I did do a post on Thucydides:
i am thinking of doing one on Cleon and the Mytilenian Debate.
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Great, can’t wait to read your old and new posts.
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@ Abagond
Please consider capitalizing your avatar again. I think a capital A suits your historical blog persona.
But then again, perhaps you have experienced a shift lately?
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@ Afrofem
I changed my avatar because the old one looked too much like the one for the Atlantic magazine on my toolbar. But yeah, I am not happy with it, but that might just be the New Haircut Effect.
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