“Something New” (2006) is a Hollywood film starring Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker about a black woman, Kenya McQueen, who has a love affair with a white man, Brian Kelly. Alfre Woodard plays her mother; Blair Underwood appears as the Ideal Black Man.
I started watching it but fell asleep. It was not believable:
- She is a high-powered accountant, he is a landscaper.
- There is no chemistry: they do not seem like they are in love – or even in like. In fact, there seems to be a certain coldness and distance between them.
The other day I watched it all the way through. I was right about the lack of chemistry, but his being a landscaper, I now see, was necessary for the story.
“The Princess and the Commoner” might be a better name: she is from black high society and falls in love with an ordinary man, one her circle would disapprove of. Like, say, a white landscaper – wrong race, works with his hands, etc.
She is looking for IBM – the Ideal Black Man. She even has a checklist. And she finds him halfway through the film when Blair Underwood appears. But by then she is already dating Simon Baker.
The racism between them gets real for only 30 seconds: They were shopping for food and she was talking about racism at work. He says he wants to have just one night where they do not talk about it:
Lathan: Am I just supposed to keep that to myself, Brian? And deny who I am?
Baker: No, I’ve never asked you to deny anything. All I wanted, all I wanted was a night off.
Lathan: That’s what being black is about, Brian. You don’t get a night off.
Baker: You know what? I’m never gonna be on the right side of the war going on inside your head, because I’m not black. All right? I’m never gonna be black. So maybe this isn’t what you want. Maybe it just isn’t gonna work.
They break up. She dates Blair Underwood but does not love him. She makes partner at her firm – but comes home at night to an empty house.
How it ends: At a black high society dance she is in the lady’s room crying. She has come so far but all seems lost. And then she sees that Mr Right is not found in some checklist in your head. He is found in your heart, whether he be rich or poor, black or white. She goes out into the night looking for her man, her long white dress trailing behind her getting dirty. She brings him back to the dance, Jill Scott’s “Family Reunion” begins to play and they slow dance. Utterly perfect.
All of which confirms my Rule of Alfre: No matter how bad it looks at first, if Alfre Woodard is in it, it will be well worth watching.
– Abagond, 2010.
See also:
LOL…I figured a review of this flick would come about. I remember when this flick came out and have been miffed ever since.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Abagond,
Thanks for posting this up because I do think it needs a more thorough treatment.
I believe the screenwriter of the movie was featured a few years back on CNN’s Black in America special, the segment on Black Women like herself and Lathan’s character. As of the time of said special, she was still alone and single, and that was after trying her hand at “swirling”.
But as for the movie itself, I felt it was highly disengenuous.
Why?
Because Black Women like the Lathan character always make it a point of not “settling”; for them, love, or character of the Man involved, doesn’t matter – so long as he’s Black. If he’s White, well then, its a horse of a different color. In many ways, its kind of the reverse of what so many Black Women say about how those Black Men who date or otherwise marry White Women will rationalize their decisions; if its bad and wrong for Black Men to do it, and I most definitely believe that it is, how are Black Women doing the very same thing any better?
And that’s something else I’ve been giving a goodly bit of thought to lately, and that’s this near-hatred of Blue Collar Brothas. It seems that a goodly number of Sistas hate them, and for what reason? What have they ever done to deserve such scorn and derision? I think this is what really underlies some of the Educated Sista cohort’s bile against the Tyler Perry films/plays – because he makes it a point to say, that there are indeed good Brothas out there who are living productive lives and would make good mates. Moreover, he makes the point that not all Brothas who wear suits and ties are automatically “good”. Perry deliberately inverts the common assumption that so many Sistas seem to make, that if you’re Blue Collar there must be something inherently flawed about you, but if you’re White Collar you’re flawless. I think Perry flipping the script like that really chaps a goodly portion of the Sistahood’s hides.
But yea, I found Something New to be contrived to extremes. No wonder it wasn’t a box office smash.
O.
PS: I believe Alfre Woodward is indeed married to a White Man, though.
LikeLike
I remember there being a lot of hype/build-up for it. I remember when it was originally named “42.5 %” or something. I followed this feature from announcement to production to release via IMDB. I liked the percentage thing, but they didn’t really expound on that. It became more of Sanaa’s character’s ability to love/not love (be grumpy and unyielding) rather than her plight in finding a man, the right man, out of many men, regardless of race, religion, etc. So in that sense there were really two separate stories that could’ve been told.
I think it was a good effort/attempt, considering what it could’ve been. I mean, it was certainly polished and pretty and I love the soundtrack; particularly the opening song, “Love”. But I agree, Sanaa’s character was almost biting in her hardness and their courtship? Forced and unbelievable as you’ve stated. I own this feature but seldom watch it and when I do it’s usually the music that help sees me through it. That and Simon Baker. *cough* 🙂
LikeLike
Alfre was Sanaa’s (character’s) mother in “Love & Basketball” also. Sanaa has been in a number of chick flicks: “L&B,” “Brown Sugar,” “Something New.” It is a bit of a speciality of hers, sort of like Virginia “Tempted” Madsen.
My favorite review of this film is by the Fiya Starter:
http://fiyastarter.com/fs-pages/fs-ent-somethingnew.html
LikeLike
i didnt like the movie its good to watch when nothing else is on but that’s it, she was a jac&jiller wasn’t she? i did jack and jill hated it.
LikeLike
from the fiya starter review:
“However, now that I’ve voiced all my objections…THIS IS A GREAT FUCKING MOVIE!!! I was really happy for the sista. That white boy was taking care of her and making her feel all special and shit. I can’t hate on that. Hell, these niggas out here are fucked up. Y’all niggas better step y’all game up, because these white boys and these sistas gonna see this movie and the shit is gon’ be on, niggas. You think it’s a joke? Okay. Keep taking sistas for granted. Niggas, the only thing we’ve EVER had over white boys is the fact that we could depend on black women to never stray and prop us up as their definition of manhood. Fuck prison, fuck drugs, fuck all that down-low shit, niggas ain’t hit bottom until sistas realize they ain’t gotta wait on our trifling asses no more. And that’s from my heart, niggas. Keep bullshitting and watch the new phenomenon unfold for Summer ’06. White boys gonna be banging out sistas and sistas gonna be smiling and happy, because they know they man got good credit. NOPE!!! Good credit.
Brothas, go see this shit and be scared straight. ”
LMAO, too funny! thanks for the link Blanc2.
yeah, this movie was formulaic, but no more so than any other hollywood “empty calorie” flick–Runaway Bride, Pretty Woman, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Something to Talk About, anything with Meg Ryan, Reese Witherspoon, “etcettera, etcettera, etcettera” (nod to Yul Brenner). oh, and let’s not forget any movie that features Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson. didn’t he do “Daddy Daycare” or some other home alone type movie?
although SN wasn’t a box office smash, it did decently at theaters. and really, these days, audiences only want to see 3-D & action movies.
LikeLike
Apparently I’m the one (black?) person who dislikes the 1 character Alfre Woodard keeps playing – the no-nonsense, super dignified Black matriarch. She always has an attitude.
I agree that Sanaa and the guy had no chemistry, but I blame that on her. Sanaa Lathan always seems distant, cold and utterly disinterested in what’s going on in the movie, not to mention her love interest. The one time she didn’t come off that way was with Omar Epps in L&B, adn they were dating for real, so that explains that.
But honestly, I’m with Brian on the whole “leave that crap at work” thing. In particular, this line does not resonate with me very much:
“Lathan: That’s what being black is about, Brian. You don’t get a night off.”
But that’s just me.
LikeLike
@Obsidian —
And that’s something else I’ve been giving a goodly bit of thought to lately, and that’s this near-hatred of Blue Collar Brothas.
I think that the term near-hatred” is a huge exaggeration. Just because a professional black woman is not interested in dating a blue collar black man doesn’t mean she nearly hates him. She probably doesn’t even think about him romantically.
It seems to me that some blue collar black men feel entitled to a professional black woman or ANY black woman. Some blue collar black men feel they’re on ANY black woman’s level, simply because he’s a black man.
Some of the black men janitorial staff at my university have asked me out. When I politely refused, they started making comments about how I thought I was “too good” for them. They don’t seem to realize that there are things that make people compatible. Just because I’m black and they’re black doesn’t mean that we’re anywhere near compatible. One of them told me he makes “good money.” I don’t know what he thinks is good money, but it takes a lot more than making good money to make a couple jell. Even a man who says something like that is telling me that he has a very different view of life than mine.
Why is it that no one expects or puts pressure on a black male corporate lawyer to date and marry the hardworking black cleaning lady who cleans the offices where he works or the nice black woman who serves the food in the cafeteria but they often call a black woman “uppity” if she won’t date the black male cleaners or UPS guy.
LikeLike
jorbia,
You’re referring to hypergamy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy
Men and women engage in hypergamy all the time (women “dating up” and men “dating down” so to speak.)
You know what – if the black cleaning lady or the cafeteria lady are fine enough, and not too hood (sorry for the assumptions, but let’s be real), I bet you that corporate lawyer will at least consider asking her out once or twice, and he very well may boo her up for real.
But I think the real difference in your final paragraph, though is that men tend to pursue women based on looks, not social position, so what you’re talking about tends to be a non-issue.
Entitlement goes in all different directions adn between genders. So much so, tat I feel like even bringing entitlement up in issues around dating is pointless. If these men feel entitled, then heavier and/or less attractive women also tend to feel entitled to receiving attention from men. People lay guilt trips on guys all the time for preferring women with lower BMI.
Point being, the entitlement charge thing is a red herring.
LikeLike
From that wikipedia link, this footnoted quote sums up my point to jorbia:
“Some psychologists believe that women exhibit mate-selective preferences for spouses who are at least equal to them in terms of attained educational level, job status, social standing, and capital accumulation. In comparison males tend to place higher emphasis on the value of physical attractiveness in a woman alone.[5][6]”
LikeLike
LMAO @ rule of Alfre
I’ve never seen the movie and don’t plan to. Seems boring.
LikeLike
“Why is it that no one expects or puts pressure on a black male corporate lawyer to date and marry the hardworking black cleaning lady who cleans the offices where he works or the nice black woman who serves the food in the cafeteria but they often call a black woman “uppity” if she won’t date the black male cleaners or UPS guy.”
i see what ur saying i wouldn’t mind dating a UPS guy though, they’re an important part of society and they do make decent livings…that’s just my opinion.
LikeLike
Scipio,
Thank you for making plain what ought to be bleedingly obvious and crystal clear to any adult that has lived on the planet Earth for any length of time. Trying to make things clear to Jorbia makes my head hurt.
O.
LikeLike
“You know what – if the black cleaning lady or the cafeteria lady are fine enough, and not too hood (sorry for the assumptions, but let’s be real), I bet you that corporate lawyer will at least consider asking her out once or twice, and he very well may boo her up for real.”
you’re being dishonest here. he would not date her. he may make her a booty call, but never openly date her.
LikeLike
@Scipio Africanus–
You know what – if the black cleaning lady or the cafeteria lady are fine enough, and not too hood (sorry for the assumptions, but let’s be real), I bet you that corporate lawyer will at least consider asking her out once or twice, and he very well may boo her up for real.
Oh, I can hardly believe he would marry the cleaning lady because she’s from a very different social class more than likely. We have to get real about that too. I’m talking about proudly escorting her to cocktail parties at a corporate colleague’s house or boss’ house or the office Christmas party. Okay, if I got desperate, I could sneak around and lay up with Leroy, the janitor, but I sure as heck wouldn’t take him with me to spend the weekend with my friends down at my friend’s Jersey shore house. So I’m thinking relationships here–not just sex.
I totally get what you mean about “hypergamy.” The opposite of hypergamy is hypogamy which is what men usually practice. For some reason, some black people think that black American women as a group should practice hypogamy and accuse the women of being “too picky,” uppity, or bougie if they don’t. This is why the black woman dentist, teacher, administrator, or corporate lawyer is accused of being “uppity” when she won’t go out with Leroy, the janitor or the UPS guy.
LikeLike
This movie was just average. Take out the color of their skin and you’ll have an very average love story.
What I would really like to see is a friggin movie with a b/w couples in which the skin color is not the effin issue! Make a good love story about lovers.
I don’t give a hoot about their skin color. I don’t care if its between the chick from avatar and some black rapper, as long as its good one. I don’t care if it is some dwarf from LOTR and some black rocket scientist chick as long as it is a relevant movie about love.
This was not. Sorry to say. If you want b/w be in the center of it, make it about siberian lumberjack and american black woman. Make it about samiwoman and LA rapper in Rovaniemi Finland. That woould be something else. 😀
LikeLike
Jorbia,
Against my better judgment I’m going to go on ahead and reply to you, on the proviso that we can have an adult conversation. We’ll see how it goes…
Replies below:
J: (quoting me) @Obsidian –
And that’s something else I’ve been giving a goodly bit of thought to lately, and that’s this near-hatred of Blue Collar Brothas.
I think that the term near-hatred” is a huge exaggeration.
O: No, it’s not. It’s one thing not to be interested in someone or even an entire group; its something else to show viseceral disdain and contempt for said group, and the truth is, that many a socalled educated Sista does this. The thing about it though, is that it is often overkill – after all, what have Blue Collar Brothas ever done to these Sistas – break on their mamas or something? I mean, come on.
J: Just because a professional black woman is not interested in dating a blue collar black man doesn’t mean she nearly hates him. She probably doesn’t even think about him romantically.
O: I don’t disagree, but that doesn’t explain the Tyler Perry viseceral reactions. What is up with that, Jorbia? Please explain?
J: It seems to me that some blue collar black men feel entitled to a professional black woman or ANY black woman. Some blue collar black men feel they’re on ANY black woman’s level, simply because he’s a black man.
O: Just like it occurs to me that many Sistas feel entitiled to what they deem to be the best or most eligible Black Men, simply because they themselves are Black, then have the nerve to get a hissy fit when said Black Man instead chooses to exercise his options – see Jill Scott, May issue of Essence magazine…
J: Some of the black men janitorial staff at my university have asked me out. When I politely refused, they started making comments about how I thought I was “too good” for them. They don’t seem to realize that there are things that make people compatible. Just because I’m black and they’re black doesn’t mean that we’re anywhere near compatible. One of them told me he makes “good money.” I don’t know what he thinks is good money, but it takes a lot more than making good money to make a couple jell. Even a man who says something like that is telling me that he has a very different view of life than mine.
O: Well, since discussing your personal life than no one hear and prove or disprove is something that is of interest only to YOU, let’s kindly refrain from attempt to build arguments up by way of anecdote, OK? Second, the very same thing could be said again, of Sistas who feel that by virtue of the fact that they are Black, that entitles them an all access free pass to what they consider the best Black Men. No, it does not, as many Sistas are discovering all the time…third, please read what I said above – many Sistas automatically assume that because a Brothas wears a suit and tie to work, that they are automatically compatible. Well, let’s take a look at the divorce states of Black middle class folk and compare them to their White counterparts, shall we? I think we have enough ample evidence to prove that such anm assumption is a dangerous one indeed…
J: Why is it that no one expects or puts pressure on a black male corporate lawyer to date and marry the hardworking black cleaning lady who cleans the offices where he works or the nice black woman who serves the food in the cafeteria but they often call a black woman “uppity” if she won’t date the black male cleaners or UPS guy.
O: Because, aside from what Scipop Africanus said about Hypergamy and how Women are hardwired for this, there simply aren’t that many domestic-type Black Women workers around anymore, and as SA has said, if they are around and are smoking hot, just about any guy can and will give her a play. Please don’t try to cloud the issues, i did not stutter – one of the biggest criticisms of Tyler Perry is that he tends to show that there is a such thing as a good Blue Collar Brotha out there, and that all Corporate White Collar Brothas aren’t automatically good. This is what burns quite a few Black Women up. The question has to be, why?
Scipio Africanus has offered the answer. At least one of them anyway. Another answer is alot of these Sistas’ inherent sense of entitlement which clearly is not working, if the stats and data we have are any indication – and there’s something else…
Last time I checked, there weren’t a cabal of Blue Collar Brothas beating a path to these ladies’ doors; 70% of professional Black Women remain alone, and clearly nobody is all that interested in getting with them longterm. That includes quite a few Blue Collar Brothas, who somehow wind up doing quite well for themselves on the love and relationships front – after all, you don’t see any ABC Niteline specials featuring such guys and why they can’t find anyone who can tolerate them, or books written about their plight in love and so forth –
Do you?
Now, let’s see if we can do this in a calm, orderly manner, Jorbia, OK?
Holla back – calmly, slowly…take a deep breath first…
O.
LikeLike
Temple,
Replies below:
T: you’re being dishonest here. he would not date her. he may make her a booty call, but never openly date her.
O: and of course, this is based on longitudinal data you’ve collected on said Brothas over the course of the past four decades, yes? Also based on extensive interviews you’ve conducted. That Scipio Africanus or myself, two Black Men dontcha know, couldn’t possibly know anything about the matter. Nah, of course not!
Temple, listen carefully: it all depends on how hot the gal is. If she’s smoking hot, and such an animal DOES exist, it is very possible that she can date and possibly even wed such a Man. In fact, one of the dirty little secrets as to why so many socalled successful Black Women out there are having, is exactly this: competition from their more working class Sistas. But of course, this fact is just too painful for the Sistas to deal with, so they instead comfort themselves with the myth that every Brotha is hooking up with White Women, or are socalled DBRBM, or are all Pookie and Ray Ray. Instead of feeling some kind of way about Amy and Rachel, what these Sistas need to be doing is taking a look at what LaShonda and Rashidah are doing and try to emulate.
There, I’ve said it.
Bang, there it is…
O.
LikeLike
“What I would really like to see is a friggin movie with a b/w couples in which the skin color is not the effin issue! Make a good love story about lovers.”
I’d even settle for a movie about a Black couple in which the skin color is not the effin issue.
Medicine for Melancholy actually comes pretty close.
LikeLike
@Obsidian —
Trying to make things clear to Jorbia makes my head hurt.
I guess this means you have to either try harder or not try at all. 🙂
I don’t have any issue with men wanting who they want, as long as they don’t have an issue with me or in some cases other women wanting who we want. Women do practice hypergamy if that is at all possible. If I’m a corporate lawyer, I’m not interested in Leroy the janitor for a relationship because I know that there is a great great chance that we’re not compatible at all in all kinds of ways. So, as a partner, he doesn’t appeal to me. I don’t have “hate” for Leroy. He’s just not on my romantic radar.
Scipio Africanus said:
if the black cleaning lady or the cafeteria lady are fine enough, and not too hood (sorry for the assumptions, but let’s be real), I bet you that corporate lawyer will at least consider asking her out once or twice, and he very well may boo her up for real.”you’re being dishonest here. he would not date her. he may make her a booty call, but never openly date her.
temple replied:
you’re being dishonest here. he would not date her. he may make her a booty call, but never openly date her.
Thanks for your honesty, Temple. I’m glad nobody had to write a book to just say that flat out.
LikeLike
Color comes up, but it’s far from the CENTRAL issue of their affair.
LikeLike
“There, I’ve said it.”
good for you.
LikeLike
“Medicine for Melancholy”! I am going to be watching that this week!
LikeLike
I love that film. It’s so uncontrived. hope you like it A.
LikeLike
In fact, one of the dirty little secrets as to why so many socalled successful Black Women out there are having, is exactly this: competition from their more working class Sistas.
Working class sistas can go right ahead and win that competition because they then have to struggle with these very same working or blue collar black men for the next 18 years to get child support after the booty call results in an OOW child. How many of these blue collar bm marry those working class sistas and are involved fathers to the seeds they plant– financially and emotionally 24-7.
what these Sistas need to be doing is taking a look at what LaShonda and Rashidah are doing and try to emulate.
LaShonda and Rashidah can have them. As a woman, you haven’t won anything to talk about when you’re simply booty call and an OOW mother for these same men who then turn around and call you all kinds of foul names and abandon the children.
LikeLike
“This is why the black woman dentist, teacher, administrator, or corporate lawyer is accused of being “uppity” when she won’t go out with Leroy, the janitor or the UPS guy.”
And Leroy id called shallow when he won’t holler at the big girl, or the girl who’s not that cute. It all evens out.
LikeLike
“This is why the black woman dentist, teacher, administrator, or corporate lawyer is accused of being “uppity” when she won’t go out with Leroy, the janitor or the UPS guy.”
And Leroy is called shallow when he won’t holler at the big girl, or the girl who’s not that cute. It all evens out.
LikeLike
Jorbia,
It’s pretty clear you have a negative view of working-class black men in general and are in this convo in bad faith. Forget I replied to you.
LikeLike
jorbia says,
-In fact, one of the dirty little secrets as to why so many socalled successful Black Women out there are having, is exactly this: competition from their more working class Sistas.
-Working class sistas can go right ahead and win that competition because they then have to struggle with these very same working or blue collar black men for the next 18 years to get child support after the booty call results in an OOW child. How many of these blue collar bm marry those working class sistas and are involved fathers to the seeds they plant– financially and emotionally 24-7.
-LaShonda and Rashidah can have them. As a woman, you haven’t won anything to talk about when you’re simply booty call and an OOW mother for these same men who then turn around and call you all kinds of foul names and abandon the children.
laromana says,
EXCELLENT points, jorbia. So many ANTI-BW RACISTS have the mindset that BW DON’T “DESERVE” QUALITY HUSBANDS who will MARRY THEM and HELP RAISE THEIR CHILDREN.
These same ANTI-BW RACIST/HYPOCRITS have NO PROBLEM with NON-BW having the NORMAL EXPECTATION of FINDING and MARRYING QUALITY HUSBANDS who will HELP THEM RAISE THEIR CHILDREN.
LikeLike
Oh almost forgot my other point about blue collar black men feeling entitled to a professional black women–is that IF those black men are satisfied and happy with the working class black women, then they need to stop accusing professional black women of being “uppity” or of not wanting them. Those men need to go ahead and get that working class black woman who is a woman just like any other woman and be happy with her.
But if she has to be “smoking hot” in order for a blue collar man to to actually marry her, then that will rarely happen because how many women of any group are smoking hot?
I personally think that people should be with who they want to be with or just be alone.
LikeLike
@Scipio Africanus–
And Leroy is called shallow when he won’t holler at the big girl, or the girl who’s not that cute. It all evens out.
I personally don’t believe people should be pressured into being with someone they don’t want. It seems to me that lots of black men don’t see anything wrong with trying to pressure professional black woman to be with Leroy, the janitor but these guys absolutely refuse to be with the “big girl” or the OOW mother or the women they call unattractive. They talk all kinds of junk about those categories of black women. Well, Leroy is just as unappealing to many professional black woman.
It’s pretty clear you have a negative view of working-class black men in general and are in this convo in bad faith. Forget I replied to you.
You pointed out above that women practice hypergamy. So you’re opposing your own argument. You either don’t think that black women are women like other women or you don’t think we ought to act the way other hypergamous women act or you don’t think that black women deserve much. Or? With your views, I would prefer that men (whatever your race or nationality) like you focus exclusively on non-black women.
LikeLike
Obsidian, I don’t like the way you talk “at” me, with your condescending. pompous manner. This is one of the reasons I’ve concluded that so many black men of your type have a problem relating to certain black women or some of those professional black women some of you want. You try to browbeat people who don’t agree with you or make them shut up if they’re women who have different opinions. You’re trying to “talk down” to me, yet you want me to talk to you. You may not like what I’m saying and you obviously don’t agree with me, but I’m not trying to belittle you. I’m talking to you as one adult to another. We’re two adults expressing our opinions.
Wouldn’t it be a little bit productive if more black people LEARNED and PRACTICED disagreeing without being disagreeable?
Now, surprise, surprise, I agree with most of the points you made above in your long response. Namely, I think that what Jill Scott did was ridiculous. I don’t think that anyone is “entitled” to any other person. If that person doesn’t want you or won’t treat you right, then you need to leave them alone. There are enough fish in the sea for all of us.
Insofar as Tyler Perry movies are concerned, I don’t watch black movies made by black Americans because they tend to reinforce stereotypes about black people. Whites don’t even have to do that because there are too many blacks who do it and other blacks pay people like Tyler Perry to continue doing it.
LikeLike
At first, Simon Baker wasn’t so hot in the looks department. I know, I know; that’s subjective. He probably had been acting for some time, but I first spotted him in a TV drama with a name like “The Surrogate” or something. Then I saw him in SOMETHING NEW, and I was irked that his sexiness was mostly wasted — as was Sanaa Lathan’s. I would’ve looooved to have seen Lathan have an under-the-radar affair with a blue-colla brotha to spite her uppity, affluent parents (yeah, those types exist in droves among Black Americans and Black Caribbeans, and …). If the script had been written that way, I would’ve loved the tension/conflict created when Lathan’s character must decide between the blue-collar brotha and the blue-collar Baker character.
Instead we get a movie that’s trying to do too many things at the same time: chart an interracial relationship, study the tension between affluent professional Blacks and working-class Blacks, and present Black society affairs such as their debutante balls adapted from European-descended white American ritual. Dang, just thinking about SOMETHING NEW makes me realize how close I came to becoming a Good Humor bar (you know which one). Up until my class-conscious mother passed on, I was only one cotillion short of the Black American dream.
By the way, I studied Simon Baker’s portrayal of a magazine journalist in THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, and, interestingly, I found him yummy. No chemistry with Anne Hathaway (who wasn’t allowed to turn on her sultriness for that role) but nevertheless yummy. Also, in TDWP he emitted so much soulfulness, I coulda sworn he was a brotha passing for white.
But back to SOMETHING NEW, it was, like, something old. It made GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER? look progressive. There’s no woman, of any hue or ethnicity, who wouldn’ta tried to … once Baker’s landscaping character first showed up with a garden hoe. As reflected in a comment above, the screenwriter missed some serious opportunities to sow some seeds, if youknowwhatI’msayin’.
Shoot, in my hands, the SOMETHING NEW script woulda caught fire and the film woulda been banned in the United States. lol
LikeLike
@Jorbia–
you make excellent points without being condescending, ignorant, petty or malicious. you’ve shown maturity & great character in this & other conversations here. i’ve enjoyed reading your comments.
LikeLike
@ Chantale Reve–
LOL! good review.
LikeLike
Hi Jorbia,
Replies below:
J: Obsidian, I don’t like the way you talk “at” me, with your condescending. pompous manner.
O: And I don’t like the way you distort what people say, throw up strawman arguments, personally attack people, and otherwise try to make a moutain out of a moehill. So there. 😛
J: This is one of the reasons I’ve concluded that so many black men of your type have a problem relating to certain black women or some of those professional black women some of you want.
O: And what type of Black Man would I be, Jorbia? Pray tell?
J: You try to browbeat people who don’t agree with you or make them shut up if they’re women who have different opinions.
O: False. I try to reason with people in good faith. You really should try it sometime. 🙂
J: You’re trying to “talk down” to me, yet you want me to talk to you.
O; No I’m not and you have no idea what I want.
J: You may not like what I’m saying and you obviously don’t agree with me, but I’m not trying to belittle you. I’m talking to you as one adult to another. We’re two adults expressing our opinions.
O: Adult is, as adult does.
J: Wouldn’t it be a little bit productive if more black people LEARNED and PRACTICED disagreeing without being disagreeable?
O: Sure; wouldn’t it be great of Black Women like you actually dealt with the issues at hand?
J: Now, surprise, surprise, I agree with most of the points you made above in your long response.
O: Well, that’s a comfort…
J: Namely, I think that what Jill Scott did was ridiculous.
O: What did Jill Scott do? I don’t recall mentioning her at all in this thread. Please explain what she has to do with the current conversation? Thanks!
J: I don’t think that anyone is “entitled” to any other person.
O: Sure you do; you think Black Women like you are entitled to the White Collar Corporate Brothas.
J: If that person doesn’t want you or won’t treat you right, then you need to leave them alone. There are enough fish in the sea for all of us.
O: No, there isn’t. There isn’t someone out there for everyone. If anyone knows this, Black Women in your cohort know it.
J: Insofar as Tyler Perry movies are concerned, I don’t watch black movies made by black Americans because they tend to reinforce stereotypes about black people. Whites don’t even have to do that because there are too many blacks who do it and other blacks pay people like Tyler Perry to continue doing it.
O: So how can you intelligently comment on Perry’s work if you haven’t seen it? I have, and I can tell you that what you said above is flatout wrong.
But what else is new when it comes to you? 😉
Holla back
O.
LikeLike
Some of you guys mentioned how many women won’t date blue collar men. Well, I will say this. For me, dating a man is not about money but compatability. I consider myself educated so I want a man who is at least SELF-educated. I don’t want to be with someone who wouldn’t understand what i am discussing most of the time. So it is not about money about but our ability to communicate with each other. If he is a janitor but he is somewhat educated, then I wouldn’t have a problem with that, because some janitors make good money. But I have to be able to relate to him emotionally and intellectually. So lets say, he has 2 years of college but never completed school and the only job he was able to find is that of a janitor. I wouldn’t have a problem with that if we have some things in common with each other and he was a hard worker. Because of his background, being in school, we would still be able to communicate with each other. To me, a relationship is about two people giving their best to each other and intimacy. Intimacy is so important.
LikeLike
My father has 3 three years of college and he is highly intelligent but for years, he was a bus driver. Where I live, bus drivers make good money. Alot of people would never have guessed that he was intelligent because of his occupation. But my dad was the man to me! To me, relationships is about both love and being practical. He must be willing to relate to me, to talk to me, and be romatic towards me but he must also be willing to pay the bills, help around the house and share in other responsiblities. Many blue collar men make good money and many of them, like my father, are educated as well, so the issue should be about WHICH blue collar man to choose, not whether one should be chosen at all. It is all about what works for you. Some women may be embarrassed to date blue collar man but I don’t think that is a good thing if he makes you laugh, has a good personality, is intelligent, has good communication skills and makes a decent living. You never know, a particular type of blue collar man may be the ideal man for you.
LikeLike
Sorry for the mistakes. I type rather fast. I meant, romantic towards me. You guys get the point.
LikeLike
Now what some men refuse to acknowlege is that sometimes, they can resent a woman if she is too educated or makes more money. Lets say she loves him and truly appreciates his qualities but because of HIS insecurities, the relationship doesn’t work. He is the one with the problem, not her. Sometimes that happens. It is not always the women who are being “uppity” but it is sometimes the men who are insecure. No woman wants to spend a lifetime with a resentful and insecure man. And that happens often between black men and women. The woman may be more educated or have a better job, and instead of being appreciative of the fact that he has some help, he is negative about the situation. I can see why some women wouldn’t want to be in that type of relationship. So the key is for both the man and the woman to have an appropriate attitude towards one another. Respect and appreciation is important. And it is important for the man to express his appreciation just like it is important for the woman to do the same.
LikeLike
If a woman is attractive- I mean REALLY attractive, I don’t think most men are going to care too much what she does or doesn’t do for a living (with a few obvious exceptions noted).
It’s women that are more interested in what a man does for a living than the other way around. I make no value judgment on that. It’s just the way it is.
LikeLike
@Jorbia
I just want to say something. My comments don’t have anything to do with what you said earlier. I just read what you wrote a minute ago. I get lazy. I don’t often feel like reading all the comments so I read some of them and skip the rest. I was responding to the first few comments that were written. I actually agree with alot ofthe things you said. But my own personal experience has proven that some blue collar men are good choices. If you don’t want to date a blue collar man then I respect your decision ( or any other women’s choice) not to do so. I was speaking to the women who don’t have strong feelings on the issue one way or the other.
LikeLike
Obsidian, you obviously WANT to talk to me since you’re doing it. Why deny that? So that’s ONE thing I know you want to do.
Your tactics are obvious. Your opinions about me are not important. YOU’re the one who keeps trying to talk “at” black women and be our self-appointed “consultant” as you mentioned the other day as if we can’t think for ourselves or know what we want. Save your energy. Judging from the stats, I would suggest that you point your consultancy at black men.
If I or any other black woman don’t get a man or decide to be alone, then so be it. That’s OUR business, not yours.
I didn’t bring up Jill Scott, you did when you said above:
see Jill Scott, May issue of Essence magazine…
You’re confused. You’re also the one who brought up Tyler Perry. I didn’t. YOU are trying to get me to comment on his movies when I have no interest in him or his movies. I don’t have to watch a movie to read the synopsis, blurbs and see the clips since we’re bombarded with them. I never watched “The Color Purple” or “Waiting to Exhale” either, but I know exactly what they’re about.
You can’t read anyone’s mind. For the record, this is how I think. I’m consistent and I’ll repeat it: It’s ridiculous for any man or woman to think they’re “entitled” to another person. No one owns another person. Black women do not own black men and black men do not own black women. Who we relate to romantically is our own personal business. So you’re trying to put words in my mouth when you say that I believe in entitlements. That might be the way YOU think. Not me.
I’ll also repeat: there are enough fish in the sea for all of us.
YOU’re not a mind reader and you haven’t done or cited extensive research and had your findings validated by a reputable validating authority. So, you’re just expressing your opinions just like everyone else.
LikeLike
“Now what some men refuse to acknowlege is that sometimes, they can resent a woman if she is too educated or makes more money. Lets say she loves him and truly appreciates his qualities but because of HIS insecurities, the relationship doesn’t work. He is the one with the problem, not her.”
@Jeri–
true
LikeLike
@Jeri–
I just want to say something. My comments don’t have anything to do with what you said earlier. . . But my own personal experience has proven that some blue collar men are good choices. If you don’t want to date a blue collar man then I respect your decision ( or any other women’s choice) not to do so.
Ditto. If you like blue collar men, that has nothing to do with me. That’s YOUR decision. We as grown women can each decide what type of man we like. There are fish in the sea for all of us. This is exactly my point. So if the corporate lawyer black woman decides she doesn’t want the black male janitor as her partner, that’s HER decision.
LikeLike
Lathan: Am I just supposed to keep that to myself, Brian? And deny who I am?
Baker: No, I’ve never asked you to deny anything. All I wanted, all I wanted was a night off.
Lathan: That’s what being black is about, Brian. You don’t get a night off.
Baker: You know what? I’m never gonna be on the right side of the war going on inside your head, because I’m not black. All right? I’m never gonna be black. So maybe this isn’t what you want. Maybe it just isn’t gonna work.
*rolls eyes and vomits*
LikeLike
@joriba
Leroy the Janitor is not equivalent to a woman who is fat or has children OOW. If a woman is fat, she probably has character issues. Not self control, poor discipline, etc. For the woman who has children out of wedlock, that invokes of host of issues that cant be reconciled. For your hypothetical Leroy, his apparent flaw (his occupation) isn’t actually a flaw at all. That a woman is fat or has children OOW is.
LikeLike
@Jeri,
“Now what some men refuse to acknowlege is that sometimes, they can resent a woman if she is too educated or makes more money. Lets say she loves him and truly appreciates his qualities but because of HIS insecurities, the relationship doesn’t work.”
This actually may not be the case when it is oftentimes the higher earning woman who is more likely to have an affair, be unsatisfied her the relationship or end the relationship altogether. While there may be some men who cant handle a woman who makes more than him there is a number of women who cant handle making more than the man.
LikeLike
@joriba
“Working class sistas can go right ahead and win that competition because they then have to struggle with these very same working or blue collar black men for the next 18 years to get child support after the booty call results in an OOW child.”
Why do you assume that your hypothetical Leroy will be unfaithful or a miser simply because he is working class?
Most black people are working class. Will you slander them as having less character than others because of their working class status?
LikeLike
@loramana,
First off. Stop SCREAMING. Its very disruptive. You can get your thoughts across without typing in caps.
“EXCELLENT points, jorbia. So many ANTI-BW RACISTS have the mindset that BW DON’T “DESERVE” QUALITY HUSBANDS who will MARRY THEM and HELP RAISE THEIR CHILDREN.”
So you define quality based on income? The janitor is not a quality man simply because he has a low paying and or low status job? You and Jorbia ran with your assumptions about “Leroy” based solely on his occupation. Not only is he not educated or refined, he is a philanderer and will soon neglect his children. All because he pushes a broom around? WOW. I wonder what you guys think of working class women who also have low paying and low status jobs.
LikeLike
@noname–
Leroy the Janitor is not equivalent to a woman who is fat or has children OOW. If a woman is fat, she probably has character issues. Not self control, poor discipline, etc. For the woman who has children out of wedlock, that invokes of host of issues that cant be reconciled. For your hypothetical Leroy, his apparent flaw (his occupation) isn’t actually a flaw at all. That a woman is fat or has children OOW is.
ALL of these folks could have character flaws. Leroy, the janitor could have character flaws too. I can think of several that he might have. There are many reasons why a woman may be an OOW mother, but she may have character flaws too. I can think of several. I will say that ALL OOW mothers are not what some call “loose” women. I’ll let overweight women speak for themselves.The fact is that there are women out there who want Leroy but many professional black woman may not, though some may.
Why is Leroy “entitled” to a black professional woman as it seems that some are arguing? No one is entitled to anyone.
LikeLike
@temple: Thanks! 🙂
And thanks to Abagond for bringing SOMETHING NEW back into our consciousness so that we can discuss it, masticate it or shred it. …
LikeLike
Noname says,
@loramana,
First off. Stop SCREAMING. Its very disruptive. You can get your thoughts across without typing in caps
Noname,
Don’t tell me HOW to comment. I’ve been posting on this board for a LONG time and, unless I’m violating abagond’s rules, can comment ANY WAY I WANT.
Why don’t you MIND YOUR BUSINESS and keep your IRRELEVANT, PERSONAL comments to yourself, AH.
jorbia says,
Why is Leroy “entitled” to a black professional woman as it seems that some are arguing? No one is entitled to anyone.
EXCELLENT question, jorbia.
Again, ANTI-BW RACISTS think BW don’t “DESERVE” QUALITY men and that they have the RIGHT to DICTATE to BW as to who they should DATE/MARRY.
LikeLike
I want to be the wedding planner for J & O’s nuptials.
But, seriously am I the only one in this conversation totally feeling the sizzling-hot sexual tension between them? It’s like Lucy hurling the football straight into Charlie Brown’s eye — but the other way around. Un-hunh, that’s love, all right.
This could be the next Black love story that we *really* want to see at the movies.
LikeLike
@Noname–
Why do you assume that your hypothetical Leroy will be unfaithful or a miser simply because he is working class?
Most black people are working class. Will you slander them as having less character than others because of their working class status?
No, YOU’re the one whose making assumptions and are connecting class to being a miser or unfaithfulness. YOU’re connecting class to character. Not me. I stated that I wouldn’t choose a blue collar man because of high likelihood of incompatibility. I never brought up character. YOU did.
We don’t know precisely WHY any men do all that they do. I never connected these men to any of these social issues until Obisidian informed us that working class women are getting involved in relationships or encounters with these blue collar men. Maybe this is true.
We certainly know that there’s a huge number of OOW children out there whose fathers didn’t marry their mothers and have abandoned their children–financially, emotionally, physically or all of the above. I would bet that some of these black women are among those working class women that Obsidian brought up. Deduction: some of those blue collar men must be doing some of the impregnating, not marrying, and abandoning the children birthed by these women.
LikeLike
Hi Jorbia,
Replies below;
J: Obsidian, you obviously WANT to talk to me since you’re doing it. Why deny that? So that’s ONE thing I know you want to do.
O: Uh, I thought I said that I was willing to have a dialogue with you provided you didn’t go off the rails or anything like that…
J: Your tactics are obvious.
O: Which are, pray tell?
J: Your opinions about me are not important.
O: Yes, they are, because they accurately describe your mindset, which I’ve discussed per the Perry works above.
J: YOU’re the one who keeps trying to talk “at” black women and be our self-appointed “consultant” as you mentioned the other day as if we can’t think for ourselves or know what we want.
O: Based on the evidence, that sounds about right.
J: Save your energy. Judging from the stats, I would suggest that you point your consultancy at black men.
O: Why? Last time I checked, Black Men weren’t bemoaning their love lives…
J: If I or any other black woman don’t get a man or decide to be alone, then so be it. That’s OUR business, not yours.
O: Good! So why don’t y’all shut up then? Why the need for all the books, tv specials, plays, movies, magazine articles, blog posts, etc et al Again, I defy you or anyone else reading this to come with half as much content on the Black Male side? I’ll wait. If so many of you Sistas are so strong and independent, you have a grand opportunity to prove it to us, by suffering in SILENCE…
Ahh…that’s better…
J: I didn’t bring up Jill Scott, you did when you said above:
see Jill Scott, May issue of Essence magazine…
O: You know what, you’re right. It was in my first response to you, just checked up thread.
J: You’re confused.
O: You’re projecting.
J: You’re also the one who brought up Tyler Perry. I didn’t.
O: That’s right.
J: YOU are trying to get me to comment on his movies when I have no interest in him or his movies. I don’t have to watch a movie to read the synopsis, blurbs and see the clips since we’re bombarded with them. I never watched “The Color Purple” or “Waiting to Exhale” either, but I know exactly what they’re about.
O: But I mentioned Perry for a specific reason, one that by your comments above describes you to a tee, and only when I mentioned Jill Scott did you concede the point that I was trying to make and that you are now attempting to hijack as your own below: that no one is entitled to anyone. You tried to argue that Blue Collar Brothas seem to feel entitled to certain Sistas, when the exact same thing can be said of Sistas like YOU. See how that works? The Old Jedi Mindtrick doesn’t work on me, hun.
J: You can’t read anyone’s mind.
O: For you, I don’t need to.
J: For the record, this is how I think.
O: which is a scary thought…
J: I’m consistent and I’ll repeat it: It’s ridiculous for any man or woman to think they’re “entitled” to another person. No one owns another person. Black women do not own black men and black men do not own black women. Who we relate to romantically is our own personal business. So you’re trying to put words in my mouth when you say that I believe in entitlements. That might be the way YOU think. Not me.
O: Again, go back to your original comments on the matter upthread, it’s all there…
J: I’ll also repeat: there are enough fish in the sea for all of us.
O: And I’ll also repeat: NO, it’s NOT…
J: YOU’re not a mind reader and you haven’t done or cited extensive research and had your findings validated by a reputable validating authority. So, you’re just expressing your opinions just like everyone else.
O: I don’t need to be a mind reader nor to have conducted any surveys or studies to know that 70% of all professional Black Women are alone and not by their own choice, that 42% of all Black Women aren’t married, that more than about half will never marry in their lifetime and that all babies are born in Black America out of wedlock – and counting. These stats are so well known and documented they are now public knowledge, even people outside our community knows it. So no, I’m not expressing an opinion willy nilly ulike you. I’m stating facts.
Which, sooner or later, the Sistahood’s gonna have to grapple with.
Hint: the White Guy won’t save you…
Holla back
O.
LikeLike
Jorbia,
replies below:
J: No, YOU’re the one whose making assumptions and are connecting class to being a miser or unfaithfulness. YOU’re connecting class to character. Not me. I stated that I wouldn’t choose a blue collar man because of high likelihood of incompatibility. I never brought up character. YOU did.
O: Really now?
Here’s what you said upthread, in response to me earlier:
OBSIDIAN: In fact, one of the dirty little secrets as to why so many socalled successful Black Women out there are having, is exactly this: competition from their more working class Sistas.
JORBIA: Working class sistas can go right ahead and win that competition because they then have to struggle with these very same working or blue collar black men for the next 18 years to get child support after the booty call results in an OOW child. How many of these blue collar bm marry those working class sistas and are involved fathers to the seeds they plant– financially and emotionally 24-7.
LaShonda and Rashidah can have them. As a woman, you haven’t won anything to talk about when you’re simply booty call and an OOW mother for these same men who then turn around and call you all kinds of foul names and abandon the children.
O: Check the rhyme, y’all. These are Jorbia’s words, straight from the horse’s mouth. She is clearly operating on the Blue Collar Brotha=Bad/White Collar Brotha=Good paradigm. And she is clearly, making value judgments. Precisely the sort of thing Perry addresses in his movies, you know, the kinds Jorbia swears up and down she doesn’t see. I wonder why…?
J: We don’t know precisely WHY any men do all that they do. I never connected these men to any of these social issues until Obisidian informed us that working class women are getting involved in relationships or encounters with these blue collar men. Maybe this is true.
O: Well, duuuh…!
J: We certainly know that there’s a huge number of OOW children out there whose fathers didn’t marry their mothers and have abandoned their children–financially, emotionally, physically or all of the above. I would bet that some of these black women are among those working class women that Obsidian brought up. Deduction: some of those blue collar men must be doing some of the impregnating, not marrying, and abandoning the children birthed by these women.
O: Yes, but here’s the pink elephant in the middle of the room that you refuse to see Jorbia (why oh why am I not surprised, LOL): plenty of White Collar Brothas got Baby Mamas out there, too. We just dont talk about them, because Buppies like to think their stuff don’t stink. Think about it – are all White Collar Brothas good and flawless? Do all BAP Sistas go around childless? The data as we have it says that OOW Black babies are born to all classes in Black America. So right off the bat we know that its only among the working classes. It’s simply not true.
But as you consistently prove Jorbia, Denial, is most definitely more, than a mere trickle in Egypt…
Double Facepalm SMH
O.
LikeLike
@Noname: I respect your opinion that an OOW woman is flawed. To follow that argument, though, the man who fathered that child OOW is equally flawed. Then again, is either the woman or man flawed, or were they just horny the day or night that they conceived that child???
@Jeri: Gurrrl, I hear you. My dad has an eighth-grade education but reads more newspapers (and I ain’t talkin’ Kindle or Nook) than I do. He worked for more than 30 years at a factory having to deal with a bunch of racist and classist comments (that were the basis of some of the funniest stories he used to tell us at home — making humor out of it behind “their” backs was his way of surviving). Then after his wife, our mother, died, he broke his foot after some jerk let the ladder to go do something else, and he took a job at a lumber company that later went out of business. He was always good with his hands (I sho know my white-collar mom liked that back in the day!) and amazing with his heart.
What I respect about the deep love between Black men and Black women — I get from my daddy. He was the one always hugging up on my mom, and she used to push him away, getting all embarrassed because I’d be standing there just a-grinning and loving it. But he loved her anyway. She loved him, too, and they were together when she took her last breath. He held her hand and cried as if he was dying, too. And now he has a second, loving wife, and I thank God that she loves being hugged up. No offense to my mother, of course.
Love knows no distinction between classes, colors, ethnicities, etc. Love is infinite and pure. Whether a man is wearing a uniform or a suit, whether he’s holding a mop or a briefcase, if he is a loving man and an honest man, I openly will love him back. Openly … not just in the kitchen or in the bedroom, but out there in public so I might inspire some little Black girl as to what love can “look” like.
(I apologize for any typos. I’d rather type as the thoughts flow.)
LikeLike
@ O: Please clarify, for both the males and females that are reading these comments, what you meant to say about Black American babies — that all of them are born out of wedlock. Your quote follows, below. My brother and I were not born OOW, and in the past 10 years about 95% of the children in my family (maternal and paternal sides) were born to married parents. Did you make a typo below? If not, please be mindful when you use the word “all.”
“I don’t need to be a mind reader nor to have conducted any surveys or studies to know that 70% of all professional Black Women are alone and not by their own choice, that 42% of all Black Women aren’t married, that more than about half will never marry in their lifetime and that all babies are born in Black America out of wedlock – and counting. These stats are so well known and documented they are now public knowledge, even people outside our community knows it. So no, I’m not expressing an opinion willy nilly ulike you. I’m stating facts.”
Also @O: As a published writer, I can tell you that it is a beautiful thing that we sisters are *not* silent anymore. We’ve been raped systematically (during slavery) and incestuously without many people giving a darn. Many of us right here in the U.S. exist due to fornication between white slaveholders and African and African-descended slaves. I love that we speak out — in books, films, plays, lectures, etc. — about our sexuality. We started taking back our sexuality during the 1970s, and now we are really stepping it up.
Black men long have been expressing themselves, and Black women have supported them spiritually and have purchased their books, viewed their films, and paid to listen to them on the lecture circuit. And we Black women share with our Black brothers the outrage that they are being gunned down and disproportionately imprisoned out of white fear.
I don’t take the side of ignorance, with which your comments about educated Black women lingers with putridity. Were you not delivered from a Black woman? (And if you were not, you are still not excused.)
LikeLike
Chantale Reve,
Yes, I did make a typo; what it should have said was at present, some 70% of all Black babies are born out of wedlock in Black America, and said births aren’t confined to the working classes or to the hood, but they cut accross all socioeconomic groups in Black America. Thanks for pointing out my oversight. My bad!
O.
LikeLike
Obsidian, YOU’re the one who pinned a lot of the OOW pregnancies, non-marriages, and child abandonment on blue collar men by suggesting that professional black women emulate working class women who get involved with blue collar men. If this is true, YOU told on them. 🙂
I never said that white collar bm weren’t impregnating these OOW mothers. YOU are telling on them too.
My statement was that I wouldn’t get involved with a blue collar man due to the high likelihood of incompatibility. I also pointed out that to many professional black women, Leroy the janitor is unappealing. I hold to those statements.
And I have been saying for days on here that it’s an adult black woman’s business who she becomes romantically involved with. She doesn’t need you or anyone else telling her who she wants. I mentioned the term “entitled” above early in this thread and didn’t need to get that vocab word from you. I read other sites on the internet where black women are trying to get black men to realize that we are not owned by black men, or anyone. You go there and we’ll go here. So, I’ll repeat this: YOU are not entitled to a professional black woman. Face that and get over it.
Again, I defy you or anyone else reading this to come with half as much content on the Black Male side?
Instead of writing books on here to try to brow beat black women into shutting up (which we won’t 🙂 ), why don’t YOU write books aimed at black men?
I’ll wait. If so many of you Sistas are so strong and independent, you have a grand opportunity to prove it to us, by suffering in SILENCE…
You obviously have issues with black women. I know I’ve never said black women were “strong and independent” because I don’t even think like that. Rest assured that black women will not suffer in silence because that’s not in our best interests to do that. Besides, ALL women vent. That’s just the way women are and since you’ve appointed yourself as a consultant to tell black women which man to want and how to live our lives, you need to know that.
LikeLike
“I’ll wait. If so many of you Sistas are so strong and independent, you have a grand opportunity to prove it to us, by suffering in SILENCE…”
Black women and Black people in general have to be movers and shakers if we want to succeed in life; traditionally we’ve needed to make our voices heard to get what we want and need in this society. Silence never got us anywhere.
You’re always blowing hot air telling Black women to sit down, shut up (the nerve of you, as verbose as you are) and get on with life, why don’t you take your own (unsolicited) advice?!
LikeLike
@O: No probs, man. 🙂
LikeLike
@king: thanks for the tip and yes, it would be nice to see a movie about b/b couple where the color is not THE issue.
Maybe I am wrong but when I was staying in US the subject of skin color was not the main one with my black friends. It was the survival, economics of everyday life. Yeah, I know they are connected in many ways, but still…
What would be really nice to see is a movie where nobody pays any attention on others ethnicity. You know, a japanese cab driver, white janitor, black president, black secretary of state, native american general, latin american executive etc.
Darn! But that has happened in reality, not in Hollywood!! 😀
LikeLike
Jorbia,
Replies below:
J: Obsidian, YOU’re the one who pinned a lot of the OOW pregnancies, non-marriages, and child abandonment on blue collar men by suggesting that professional black women emulate working class women who get involved with blue collar men. If this is true, YOU told on them.
I never said that white collar bm weren’t impregnating these OOW mothers. YOU are telling on them too.
J: My statement was that I wouldn’t get involved with a blue collar man due to the high likelihood of incompatibility. I also pointed out that to many professional black women, Leroy the janitor is unappealing. I hold to those statements.
O: Which only goes to show that what Perry depicts in his films have a heck of a lot of merit to them – one cannot assume that because thus and so Sista is supposedly educated, it means that she’s a better person; you are living proof, that this is not so. Again, Blue Collar Brotha=Bad/White Collar Brotha=Good.
Whew…
J: And I have been saying for days on here that it’s an adult black woman’s business who she becomes romantically involved with.
O: No one said otherwise. Strawman.
J: She doesn’t need you or anyone else telling her who she wants.
O: When she goes off the rails flailing wildly about these kinds of topics in a public space, it is most evident that she does need someone to tell which end is up, since she obviously can’t get er done on her own (again, 70% of all Professional Black Women are alone). I’m more than happy to help – but please, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth?
J: I mentioned the term “entitled” above early in this thread and didn’t need to get that vocab word from you.
O: Yes, you did, and I invite any reading along to scroll up and see for themselves.
J: I read other sites on the internet where black women are trying to get black men to realize that we are not owned by black men, or anyone. You go there and we’ll go here. So, I’ll repeat this: YOU are not entitled to a professional black woman. Face that and get over it.
O: LOL. When did I ever say otherwise? Strawman, anyone?
O: Again, I defy you or anyone else reading this to come with half as much content on the Black Male side?
J: Instead of writing books on here to try to brow beat black women into shutting up (which we won’t ), why don’t YOU write books aimed at black men?
O: Jorbia, tell me something-how is it possible any university in the Western hemisphere actually admitted you as a student with reading comprehension so incredibly bad? I ask you a simple question and here you go, off the rails with you – again. SMH…
O: I’ll wait. If so many of you Sistas are so strong and independent, you have a grand opportunity to prove it to us, by suffering in SILENCE…
J: You obviously have issues with black women.
O: LOL. Nice try, but no cigar. You have no idea how I actually feel about Black Women. How about you try actually focusing on the issues. You know, like a laser beam…?
J: I know I’ve never said black women were “strong and independent” because I don’t even think like that.
O: I never said that you did.
J: Rest assured that black women will not suffer in silence because that’s not in our best interests to do that.
O: Yea, but it IS in the best interests of society that this loud and unruly cohort STFU.
J: Besides, ALL women vent. That’s just the way women are and since you’ve appointed yourself as a consultant to tell black women which man to want and how to live our lives, you need to know that.
O: Well, as the duly appointed Publicity Consultant for the Sistahood, I must tell you, that all the socalled venting you’ve been doing since the early days of Oprah, not only has been counterproductive but also incredibly to your collective public image. I highly recommend you STFU. Once you’re seen as demure again, your problems, at least insofar as PR concerns go, should decrease.
That’ll be $500…:)
Holla back
O.
LikeLike
Blue Parfum,
I am doing what I’m doing because it is needed and way past due. Let’s just put it this way: it’s like Sisko’s Defiant project.
Know what I mean?
Oh, and trust me, whatever it is that Black Women, especially certain cohorts of them, are doing, all the stats are clear that it ain’t working. Perhaps they should all go back to school, take Econ 101 courses and understand basic principles, such as opportunity costs, cause and effect, etc et al?
Holla back
O.
LikeLike
Chantale,
replies below:
C: Also @O: As a published writer, I can tell you that it is a beautiful thing that we sisters are *not* silent anymore.
O: Hooray for published writers then. Pity the rest of us who have to suffer said writers who come off more like incohate harangues than eloquent and poised like yourself, and the truth of the matter is, that there are far more of the latter than the former, Chantale, among the Sistahood. There, I said it.
C: We’ve been raped systematically (during slavery) and incestuously without many people giving a darn.
O: Slavery ended nearly 150 years ago. The movie Precious and the book it was based on (all fiction, btw) was a runaway bestseller and highly acclaimed.
C: Many of us right here in the U.S. exist due to fornication between white slaveholders and African and African-descended slaves.
O: Not all of which was in a rape scenario context – to wit: Sally Hemmings, anyone?
C: I love that we speak out — in books, films, plays, lectures, etc. — about our sexuality. We started taking back our sexuality during the 1970s, and now we are really stepping it up.
O: If the CDC has anything to say about it, alongside the OOW birthrate in Black America, yea, I would wholehearedly say that is most definitely true, you Sistas have been stepping it on on the bump and grind indeedy…
C: Black men long have been expressing themselves, and Black women have supported them spiritually and have purchased their books, viewed their films, and paid to listen to them on the lecture circuit. And we Black women share with our Black brothers the outrage that they are being gunned down and disproportionately imprisoned out of white fear.
O: Thank you on the first part, and its largely Black MEn who do it to each other on the second…
C: I don’t take the side of ignorance, with which your comments about educated Black women lingers with putridity. Were you not delivered from a Black woman? (And if you were not, you are still not excused.)
O: I like that – putridity! That’s the word I would describe many of these socalled educated Sistas’ attitudes – rancid, sour bitter – which explains why some 70% of them are alone, why 42% of Black Women will never marry. At some point one would think that such ostensibly intelligent people would get a clue and start doing things differently, but since The Color Purple, Black Women, like Oprah, seem to have gotten caught in a time warp and just won’t let it go. That was 1985 or so, Sistas. We on some new stuff now. Give it a rest already.
And yes, I was most definitely born of a Black mom – who remained married to my dad for 30 years, until the day he died. Trust me, you don’t get there being strong and independent, LOL…
O.
LikeLike
@jorbia,
You blatantly made a connection between class and character. For all of black folk’s history in the US we have been working class. Some of us made it into middle class status but the majority of us didnt. That includes the women. Therefore, according to you, working class men have more character flaws than the middle class and apparently working class women are simply principled matron saints.
Now no one here is arguing that working class men are entitled to the few professional black women that exist. (I personally dont know why we continue to hark on such an insignificant group of black women when the vast majority of us are working class or working poor) I am just exposing your bait and switch.
LikeLike
Noname, I’m not sure of exactly what you’re trying to say. The record shows what everybody here has said. One thing for sure is that readers are going to draw their own conclusions based on their own biases.
I stand by my statements that the typical professional black woman is most likely not going to be interested in Leroy the janitor as a romantic partner. I personally wouldn’t be interested due to the high likelihood of incompatibility.
(I personally dont know why we continue to hark on such an insignificant group of black women when the vast majority of us are working class or working poor)
I agree with you regarding the focus though I do NOT agree that professional black women are “insignificant.” I completely agree that these men should focus a lot more on that vast majority who you say are working class or working poor.
I believe that some black American men feel “entitled” to us, (or I probably will be a professional BW one day), but if you have a problem with them focusing on us so much, you need to take it up with that group of them who constantly nitpick at the “professional black woman” or try to shut us up. These men claim there are plenty of other black women and non-black women who want them and who they can get quite easily, according to what I read, so why they focus so much on the “few” professional black women is something only they can explain to you.
LikeLike
Ladies and Gentleman, you have just witnessed the Eternal Solipsism of the Female Mind, aka the Rationalization Hamster in action and in full Technicolor; Jorbia is Exhibit A in this regard.
Any questions?
O.
LikeLike
“which explains why some 70% of them are alone, why 42% of Black Women will never marry”.
Why do ppl get so wound up about this?
It not as if these women sit and do nothing all day. So why the issue with it?
LikeLike
Asada,
Because its said Black Women themselves, who make such a big out of it, that’s why. I’ll never forget, last year my lady and I hosted a small dinner party and one of her girlfriends, who falls into this cohort, hijacked the party and put the focus on her with her constant whining and moaning and complaining and the rest of it about how she hadn’t been in a relationship since the 90s and so forth. Like the rest of us cared to hear about that or something. You see, I know about this topic not because I cared to study up on it but because like the rest of society, these Sistas are keen to foist their woes on the rest of us, as if we give a hoot. We don’t care to hear about dingbats who make bad decisions with their lives, get cynical and snarky about it and now wanna proclaim how strong and independent they are, if they were indeed so strong and independent they’d shut the heck up and keep it moving, realizing the outcomes of their bad decision making and horrid attitudes have dire consequences. But they don’t; instead, we wind up getting the Jorbia Treatment.
Ugh…
O.
LikeLike
Obsidian, whatever you may say about me, I declare that I will be just fine and the Jorbias of the world will also be just fine 🙂 in the relationship department. You will never, ever catch me complaining about my lack of a good relationship because there are too many fish in the sea.
Like Noname suggested, why don’t you guys give most of your intense focus on black women to the working class and working poor black women.
LikeLike
Jorbia,
Listen real close now, OK?
Please name the following:
The Black Male version of Oprah
The Black Male version of Steve Harvey’s book
All the Black Men lamenting the dearth of Dimes on the Planet
The last time you saw a WaPo or NYT article on same
The last time you saw a CNN or ABC tv special on same
Eric Benet or Bilal or Musiq Soulchild complaining about the Dimes running off with White Boy
Show me the stat that says that 70% of all Brothas are alone and 42% of them aren’t married
All the many plays and movies centered around Black Male dating woes
The Black Male version of The Color Purple
Got it?
I’ll wait…
O.
LikeLike
http://zairejungle.wordpress.com/2010/03/15/are-black-women-clowning-themselves/
I did a post about this “42%” I think it is hyped. I’m sure the magljority of that 42% has boyfriends(girlfriends, SOs, ect) that they find companionship with. Group averages do serve a purpose but the arena of romance is a personal one. Group averages don’t have to apply to the individual at the end of the day you( general you) had the most say in how desirable you are to the opposite sex. Improve on what you can improve on and forget the rest.
LikeLike
Obsidian. Black men are also the least married men. So it makes sense that black women are also the least married women. Black people deal with each other romantically/ sexually. So of black women are single it goes without saying that black men are also single and visa versa.
LikeLike
@obsidian: take it easy, man! black women are not the only ones 😀
Look how many movies are made about the realtionship hardships and mess of the white women!! I just wanna know that! 😀
Howcome in those movies there are so many unmarried white men? Why all those white women whine about not getting Mr Right, even when they do?
What was that Sex and the City show about? Four pro white women complaining that they never find their Mr Right!!
This is not a black thing obsid. It is a cultural thing. It is a Hollywood thing. It sells. It makes money.
It would be quite boring movie where everybody is happily married and have no problems what so ever at all anytime. How many would go to see that? 90 minutes of steady happiness, no drama nor intrigues. Just plain old doing well stuff. No highs no lows, no curves no cornes. Just lazy smooth steady roll on and on and on… 😀
LikeLike
LOL! are you still feeling all that black woman love “Y”?
LikeLike
Obsidian, I agree with you. IMO, that’s ALL ridiculous. Like I said, you’ll never catch me complaining about the lack of men. There is NO lack of compatible men. I think this idea of the lack of men is a wormy idea that BAW have in the minds and they can’t seem to get rid of it.
Like I said, I didn’t grow up in the U.S. and I’m so glad that I didn’t. I don’t know why BAW only look at BAM for their boyfriends or husbands and then complain when BAM are not interested or not compatible. So to me and some of the people I know, it’s a mystery.
LikeLike
While we’re on the topic of Something New, my newest latest article over at The Spearhead addresses another aspect of the issue:
http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/11/30/the-season-of-the-sistahoods-dissedcontent/
Check it out and holla back
O.
LikeLike
wow we have some ignorant people on this board. if black men have the right to express themselves then so should black women. don’t like it, oh well.
LikeLike
BleauParfum says,
You’re always blowing hot air telling Black women to sit down, shut up (the nerve of you, as verbose as you are) and get on with life, why don’t you take your own (unsolicited) advice?!
jorbia says,
-I stand by my statements that the typical professional black woman is most likely not going to be interested in Leroy the janitor as a romantic partner. I personally wouldn’t be interested due to the high likelihood of incompatibility.
-(I personally dont know why we continue to hark on such an insignificant group of black women when the vast majority of us are working class or working poor)
-I agree with you regarding the focus though I do NOT agree that professional black women are “insignificant.”
-I believe that some black American men feel “entitled” to us, (or I probably will be a professional BW one day), but if you have a problem with them focusing on us so much, you need to take it up with that group of them who constantly nitpick at the “professional black woman” or try to shut us up. These men claim there are plenty of other black women and non-black women who want them and who they can get quite easily, according to what I read, so why they focus so much on the “few” professional black women is something only they can explain to you
laromana says,
Bleu Parfum and jorbia, thanks for your EXCELLENT defense of BW’s RIGHT to make THEIR OWN relationships choices with NO INPUT from ANYONE.
BW are FREE INDIVIDUALS who can dedide FOR THEMSELVES WHO they want to love/date/marry and they DON’T OWE ANYONE an EXPLANATION/JUSTIFICATION.
Also, given the LONG history of ANTI-BW RACISM/HATE in American culture/media that has/continues to have a REAL, NEGATIVE effect on the QUALITY of MANY BW’S lives, BW have the RIGHT to SPEAK UP about their MISTREATMENT without being told HOW they should FEEL about/choose to DEAL with it.
LikeLike
very interesting article here:
http://blackconsciousthought.blogspot.com/2010/11/for-my-critics-if-you-have-better.html#disqus_thread
LikeLike
Maybe it’s just my personal proclivities, but when someone posts a link to something they wrote, it seems kind of lazy. Like they don’t want to make the debate on the ground it occurs upon.
So it goes. I shall sally-forth and see how this comment goes…
My girlfriend and I both watched Something New, and while it wasn’t the greatest Rom-Com I’ve seen (and I’m something of a Rom-Com fanboy) it was unique in that it was/is among the only movies I’ve seen with romance between a WM & a BW.
Probably my only problem with the movie — and I believe my girlfriend agrees with me — is that cheesy segue from “Black tax” in the supermarket to “Black tax” when Sanaa Lathan’s character is on her date with Blair Underwood’s character. That whole part felt waaaaay tooooo contrived.
But I’m surprised some of the guys here aren’t rooting for Simon Baker since he played the blue-collar dude getting a professional Black woman. Isn’t that kind of the wet-dream among some of the commenters here?
Anyhoo, after the considerations of cast, acting, plot, and execution, I’d give Something New a solid three stars.
LikeLike
temple says,
very interesting article here:
http://blackconsciousthought.blogspot.com/2010/11/for-my-critics-if-you-have-better.html#disqus_thread
laromana says,
temple, thanks for referring us to this EXCELLENT article.
The BW who authored this amazing, succinct, analysis of the BAW experience really GETS IT and the solutions she offers to resolve the major problems MOST BAW are facing are completely ON POINT.
I hope many BAW read this article and catch a glimpse of hope as they seek to deal with the many daunting problems they are facing.
LikeLike
@laromana,
I’ve noticed you monitor the way blk women are portrayed in popular culture. Here is something from a better time. how did we regress?
*chic noir pulls at hairs on her chin*
Really American women as a whole have regressed. but of course our situation is different. we are the other.
LikeLike
wow obsidian you’ve outdone yourself. going to spread hatred for blk women among the same people who called you everything put a child of God including the N-word when it was mostly us who threw your butt a line over there when you were sinking.
LikeLike
Obs Yes, I did make a typo; what it should have said was at present, some 70% of all Black babies are born out of wedlock in Black America, and said births aren’t confined to the working classes or to the hood, but they cut accross all socioeconomic groups in Black America.
but the bulk are concentrated among the lower class and you darn well know it.
so many unmarried blk women out there, you should go marry one and make a kid or two.
LikeLike
temple
I’ve read the article and I must say it is the same old ANTI-BM MISANDRY (to use Loramana style of writing) masquerading as a solution (a highly unworkable one at that) for black women and children. This is America not some village in East Africa. Von must do better than this.
LikeLike
blanc 2 Sanaa has been in a number of chick flicks: “L&B,” “Brown Sugar,” “Something New.” It is a bit of a speciality of hers, sort of like Virginia “Tempted” Madsen.
so manybe sanaa is becoming jennifer aniston.
LikeLike
About that blackconsciousthought blog article, I hope that blogger is not just mad and venting. I hope she will pull from her audience a group of people who can help her to build her idea into a real life structure. She needs to get a few engineers on board.
I actually think it could work out well. I think she should start small and then grow it. It would certainly be a big improvement on what’s going on now, so BAW have to start somewhere. Other than that, BAW will be reading and listening to all kinds of foul things about themselves from black men and others who obviously have issues with black women–for a very long time.
LikeLike
chicnoir
The bulk of OOW births are concentrated in the working class because the bulk of blacks are concentrated in the working class. Still, if this value system exists even within the middle class than education and income doesnt seem to deter deleterious behavior.
You cant even rely on middle class blacks to do the right thing. They will simply respond that, since, unlike their broke sisters and brothers, they arent taking any welfare, than everything is peace.
Dam shame really. Anyway arent we talking about Something Old… opps… I mean, Something New.
No Hope!
LikeLike
theobsidianfiles
Did Karazin post your comment on her site? What were the responses?
LikeLike
noname Still, if this value system exists even within the middle class than education and income doesnt seem to deter deleterious behavior.
It’s become banal, no one frowns at having a kid out of wedlock anymore.
You cant even rely on middle class blacks to do the right thing. They will simply respond that, since, unlike their broke sisters and brothers, they arent taking any welfare, than everything is peace.
true, I just think the blk MC should be role models for the underclass.
LikeLike
The bulk of OOW births are concentrated in the working class because the bulk of blacks are concentrated in the working class.
Not really.
article:
http://blackdemographics.com/middle_class.html
Black are about 2 percentages below the national average.
But in any case, a higher rate of OOW births does not necessarily indicate a lower regard for morality.
LikeLike
@King
What a strange graph. That measures blacks in the middle class not how many blacks are in the middle class.
“But in any case, a higher rate of OOW births does not necessarily indicate a lower regard for morality.”
What does it mean?
LikeLike
@chicnoir,
I dont mean to go OT but I wanted to know why you contribute to the premier PUA blog?
LikeLike
@chicnoir
I ask because my opinion of men especially white men has been altered a bit because of it.
LikeLike
chic noir says,
@laromana,
I’ve noticed you monitor the way blk women are portrayed in popular culture. Here is something from a better time. how did we regress?
*chic noir pulls at hairs on her chin*
Really American women as a whole have regressed. but of course our situation is different. we are the other.
laromana says,
Thanks for posting the Dominique Devereaux video, chic noir. It doesn’t make sense that the portrayals of BAW were more positive in the past than they are in the 21st century.
chic noir says,
@O
but the bulk are concentrated among the lower class and you darn well know it.
so many unmarried blk women out there, you should go marry one and make a kid or two.
laromana says,
EXCELLENT advice, chic noir. I highly doubt ANTI-BW BM will do their part to remedy this problem.
jorbia says,
About that blackconsciousthought blog article, I hope that blogger is not just mad and venting. I hope she will pull from her audience a group of people who can help her to build her idea into a real life structure. She needs to get a few engineers on board.
I actually think it could work out well. I think she should start small and then grow it. It would certainly be a big improvement on what’s going on now, so BAW have to start somewhere. Other than that, BAW will be reading and listening to all kinds of foul things about themselves from black men and others who obviously have issues with black women–for a very long time.
laromana says,
jorbia, I agree with you that the author of the blackconsciousthought blog article should pull together the best people she can find to help implement her idea.
Contrary to ANTI-BW RACIST HATERS, BAW have the best chance of IMPROVING their lives by FOCUSING on themselves/their families and ONLY allowing QUALITY/PRO-BW men of ANY RACE into their lives who have their best interest in mind.
LikeLike
noname- i found taht blogthru a link from a female blog. not all of the men there are as hateful as the MC so don’t allow that to twist your thinking. Plus there are plenty of teenagers, and non whites as well as women who post.
LikeLike
noname- if he has changed the way you look at men, do not read his blog. never take the e-world into the real world. you must have some sort of seperation of the two.
LikeLike
laromana says,
Thanks for posting the Dominique Devereaux video, chic noir. It doesn’t make sense that the portrayals of BAW were more positive in the past than they are in the 21st century.
yea it doesn’t make sense. blk female entertainers were portrayed differently back then. largely because of Berry Gordy but also clive davis. Even in the early aughts, his blk female artists were still someone tame from what everyone else was pushing.
beyonce is the closest thing we have now. She’s sort of like a modern day tina turner.
lauren jill
jill scott
erica badu
are all a mess and they do the most preaching.
LikeLike
“But in any case, a higher rate of OOW births does not necessarily indicate a lower regard for morality.”
What does it mean?”
Comparatively it doesn’t have to mean anything. If you object to extra-marital intercourse, then certainly White people can be having just as much of as blacks. However, they also may be:
1) Using contraceptives more consistently.
2) Less fertile.
3) Having abortions like they were going out of style.
4) Killing their babies in their sleep before anyone found out.
In any case, the sexual behavior could be the same, yet the visible results could be markedly different. and , as you can see from #4, the childless woman may actually have engaged in an even more morally reprehensible action in order avoid having an OOW child.
You just don’t know.
LikeLike
Hi Chic Noir,
Replies below:
CN: wow obsidian you’ve outdone yourself. going to spread hatred for blk women among the same people who called you everything put a child of God including the N-word when it was mostly us who threw your butt a line over there when you were sinking.
O: First of all, please explain how what I wrote is any way a display of hatred of Black Women? I wanna hear this one…
Second, if that’s how you felt, why didn’t you say so when you commented over there?
Holla back
O.
LikeLike
@king
those links you supplied did nothing to support your claim. In order to support your claim your link should show the number of children the average single blk middle class parent has, then the same thing for single working class and poor blks.
I’m willing to bet that there are more single parents among lower class blks and there is a significant gap between the two groups after 3 or more children.
LikeLike
NoName,
You said:
Did Karazin post your comment on her site? What were the responses?
O: Oh yea, at least as of the other day, LOL. She just might have taken it down; evidence that she couldn’t really defend her position.
I’ll have more to say about Ms. Karazin in due course. Stay tuned…
O.
LikeLike
Uncle mu,
i have a little skit coming up about your recent choice of topic. I know you can take a joke so you’ll be okay. you’ll probably lol.
LikeLike
Chic Noir,
I don’t think King is all that off the mark at all; he’s right to point out that most African Americans are still very much of the working class; realtively few AAs are high level doctors, lawyers, execs and the like. You’re far more likely to find Black trash Men, Black Women as lower level cubicle dwellers and the like.
So it shouldn’t come as any surprise that much of the OOW births occur among the largest working cohort, which tends to be working class.
Still, if you go to places like A Belle In Brooklyn, a blog that focuses on Buppie type Black Women, you’ll see its owner, Ms. Lucas, clearly advocating for Buppie to be Baby Mamas. So again, this isn’t something that is purely a working class or even underclass Black concern.
Why does that bother you so? Please explain?
O.
LikeLike
@lacromonia-
check out more of those clips. miss diane carrol and billy dee williams* did blk folk pretty proud back then. the first billionaire blk couple on TV.
*my only beef with billy dee is his conk.
check out the user LBColby
here is a comment someone posted.
LikeLike
uncle mu I don’t think King is all that off the mark at all; he’s right to point out that most African Americans are still very much of the working class; realtively few AAs are high level doctors, lawyers, execs and the like. You’re far more likely to find Black trash Men, Black Women as lower level cubicle dwellers and the like.
uncle mu I don’t deny this. I don’t think that was his point anyway. I was just noting that most dysfunctional behavior esp OOW can be found among the blk lower class. hardcore drug abuse is another one.
Still, if you go to places like A Belle In Brooklyn, a blog that focuses on Buppie type Black Women, you’ll see its owner, Ms. Lucas, clearly advocating for Buppie to be Baby Mamas
she can advocate but it doesn’t mean buppies will follow in large number.
LikeLike
obsidan Why does that bother you so? Please explain?
ideally children should grow up with two parents. It also unfair to young blk male children to grow up without a dad, only a man can teach a boy how to become a man.
where is charles menilick tonight? this is his sort of topic. maybe he’s stuck in traffic.
*chic noir shrugs shoulders*
LikeLike
Chic,
There’s not enough Black underclasses to drive the birthrate number one, and two, please read Ms. Lucas’ blog for yourself. She is by no means alone among the Buppie set. It seems that we’re so quick and eager to slough off anythning unseemly or otherwise embarrassing about Black life and culture onto its working classes and lower, when in truth things like this cut accross the sociometric lines of Black America. Plenty of BAP Women will tell you that they don’t need no Man to raise their child. Of course, when they finally get a clue they’re sounding like Jill Scott.
Holla back
O.
LikeLike
uncle mu Chic,
There’s not enough Black underclasses to drive the birthrate number one, and two, please read Ms. Lucas’ blog for yourself
uncle mu what are you talking about here??? you totally misread my comment. anyway, I read her blog, it’s on my blog list.
LikeLike
laromana here are some pictures of blk women doing it up big in the Tim Ford show looking elegant.
laromana, don’t look at the rap videos or any of that other garbage floating about.
http://www.beautyisdiverse.com/2010/11/beyonce-liya-kebede-joan-smalls-stella-tennat-in-tom-ford-spring-2011-for-uk-harpers-bazaar-january-2011/
LikeLike
“those links you supplied did nothing to support your claim.”
Which claim?
I just said that Blacks, as a whole, are only a few statistical percentages below the nationas average when it comes to middle class status. The link was a chart showing that figure.
LikeLike
Chic,
No, I didn’t. I knew exactly what you were saying. You’re just doing your pat the element is the problem thing again. Been there, done that. Ask Bill Cosby.
I prefer to focus on the Buppies because they get all the ink and make the most ruckus in the media. I like pulling the covers off of em and exposing that their stuff stinks just as much as anyone else, often times moreso. So, yea, dysfunctional stuff like OOW births happen there too, they just try to rationalize and justify it, and when that doesn’t work they try to cover it up – hence my mentioning of Ms. Lucas’ blog, which I’ll be addressing in due course.
Stay tuned…
O.
PS: I think you meant Tom Ford?
LikeLike
@chic
I like the first dress. I ❤ high fashion. 🙂
LikeLike
mei ly- me too, liya was looking regal. Joan smalls(afro) looks pretty good in the group photo she took for Vogue.
laromona I was just going thru my blog list when this niffty little question happened to pop up. This guy has a blog and he gives out advice to women and somtimes men.
http://boyslifenyc.com/post/1720657506/hi-boyslife-im-a-young-black-female-thats-honestly
obs No, I didn’t. I knew exactly what you were saying.
no sir you didn’t. you follow up showed that you diddn’t. yea tom ford thanks.
I prefer to focus on the Buppies because they get all the ink and make the most ruckus in the media.
No the element gets more play in the media. it’s just that they are given no agency unlike the buppies.
LikeLike
King, sorry I thought you were arguing that the blk middle class have as many OOW as the blk underclass.
btw, uncle mu you on the wrong blog to rag about buppies ? do you know this is the premier blog for them. You and I are out of place here. We are blk proles.
LikeLike
@chicnoir
I love Tom Ford. Him and Zac Posen are my favorite designers. I hated his directing debut A Single Man. The only good thing about that movie was Jon Kortajarena.
Anyway, those women in the link dont count. First one is light skinned and the other is a white woman dipped in chocolate. Some people you cant ever please.
LikeLike
@Obsidian,
Well its good to know that someone recognizes the “DBRness” of these women regardless of income. Compare this revelation to Von and Khadijah’s latest post throwing EVERY single black man under the bus. The proportion of damaged black women compares favorably with damaged black men if everyone is to be believed.
LikeLike
Chic,
No, that’s not what I mean; what I mean is that the Buppies get the ink insofar as their socalled concerns are constantly being trumpeted in the media; books like Steve Harvey’s are constantly being disseminated; news reports about their lovelife woes and the like are constantly being aired; movies and stageplays and the like are constantly made about them. So, I thought the time was overdue to really examine their claims in this regard and I have found that they are certainly wanting.
As I said with Bill Cosby, the Black underclass and working classes are convenient scapegoats and easy targets. Its time to give the Buppies a proctological examination…
And yea, I knew exactly what I was talking in my response to you; just like I knew he was really running Gucci…
Are we learning yet?
O.
LikeLike
Well, I see this conversation has gotten heated. But on the subject of OOW children, I will say this. It is sad when a child doesn’t have a father. A child should grow up with two parents. But for those women who are single and have children, and this applies to all families, it is important to raise your children to know God and to go to church. That way they can have a Heavenly Father, through our Savior Jesus Christ! So when they feel that they are neglected by their earthly fathers, they can find relief with God. I know it helped me when I was growing up.
LikeLike
noname Anyway, those women in the link dont count. First one is light skinned and the other is a white woman dipped in chocolate. Some people you cant ever please.
Are you kidding? They look blk to me. what is a blk women dipped in chocolate? liya does not look like a white woman by far. compare her features to those of white women for god sakes.
OBS what I mean is that the Buppies get the ink insofar as their socalled concerns are constantly being trumpeted in the media; books like Steve Harvey’s are constantly being disseminated;
well ya uncle mu we already went over this. buppies concerns are addressed cause they have two pennies to spend. Now Steve Harvey’s books are marked across the color line and that’s part of the reason he’s been so successful as an author. I’m sure he’s shocked that his books are best sellers too.
LikeLike
noname
here ya go sister
alec opend and closed major shows in her day. I just saw chloe 2002, she opened and closed.
LikeLike
what is OOW?
LikeLike
Out Of Wedlock
LikeLike
yes
LikeLike
Chic,
Wrt the Buppies, yea, they got a few pennies to rub together. So what’s wrong with examining them and their stuff? WHy are you so averse to that? Please explain?
As for Harvey, his books and work is geared to Black Women, and all of the events and book signings and the like that I’ve seen him give had nothing but Black Women attending and that includes in places like NYC. You were saying?
O.
LikeLike
O.: “C: Many of us right here in the U.S. exist due to fornication between white slaveholders and African and African-descended slaves.
O: Not all of which was in a rape scenario context – to wit: Sally Hemmings, anyone?”
@O – Oh, I agree with you here. For example, thanks to all the voluntary interracial sex in recent (post-slavery) generations, on top of all the rapes that when on during slavery, I’m more white (genetically, rather than phenotypically, speaking) than former President Jimmy Carter.
That’s what I meant by the statement: “Many of us right here in the U.S. exist due to fornication between white slaveholders and African and African-descended slaves.” And that goes for many, many Blacks here in the U.S. as well as in Caribbean nations, Central American nations, throughout Western Europe, and in Pacific nations and territories.
Thank you, O, for breaking down all the rest (from yesterday’s long reply to your comment yesterday) and for your compliments about my intellect and that of other sisters who choose to analyze issues eloquently and sans stridency. (But I admit that I lose my cool from time to time and go off like a vituperative viper. Then again, *when* I do that, it’s for humorous effect, such as in satirical blog posts.)
Thank you also for showing, in the portion of your reply describing your parents’ relationship, that committed love between a Black man and a Black woman isn’t some fairytale. It’s interesting, though, how it took the OP — about SOMETHING NEW, a film about interracial sexual attraction — to re-open a wound often scabbed over: the discourse about “something old” but nevertheless fascinating.
LikeLike
-thanks King
-i can’t stand steve harvy!
LikeLike
Chic,
Noname means they are black with aquiline features. Fashion industry usually cherry-picks black women that don’t have West African features whenever they want to display black beauty. When they do chose a black woman with broad features it’s someone like Alek Wek
Sidenote: I have noticed these fashion people usually describe East African/ keen fearured models as “regal” or “elegant” but I hardly hear the same words used to describe West African/broad featured models. The term “exotic” usually comes to mind. Just an observation of mine.
LikeLike
Chantale,
You’re welcome. 🙂
O.
LikeLike
@Y
Thanks for explaining because I was a little confused as well.
LikeLike
No problem Mei Ly 😛
LikeLike
I don’t get it. How is this Something New? Black women & White men aint nothing new. Consentual or not.
LikeLike
@Y
I dont know if I was being facetious or sarcastic. There are some very uptight and millitant black women who dont count those East African women and accuse them of being white women dipped in chocolate.
LikeLike
Noname,
LMAO. I don’t know either. But I see what you mean. They are black to me, they just have different features than West African women.
LikeLike
@Y
I think the issue is that for those dark skinned black women who have success with black men and arent self pitying, the skepticism that they are met with is down to the assumption of being white women dipped in chocolate.
Thats why I made the sarcastic comment about them.
LikeLike
I’m late for the party, but I have to ask:
Abagond, did you like the movie or not?
LikeLike
The ironic thing is that there are more than a few West African people with “keener” features and quite a few East Africans with “rounder/broader” features.
LikeLike
chic noir says,
laromana here are some pictures of blk women doing it up big in the Tim Ford show looking elegant.
laromana, don’t look at the rap videos or any of that other garbage floating about.
http://www.beautyisdiverse.com/2010/11/beyonce-liya-kebede-joan-smalls-stella-tennat-in-tom-ford-spring-2011-for-uk-harpers-bazaar-january-2011/
laromana says,
chic noir, thanks for these lovely pics of BW. It’s great to see a DIVERSE representation of Black beauty.
I think it’s a shame that American media and culture choose to only show a NARROW/ATYPICAL image of BW when they want to represent Black beauty (eg. “racially ambiguous looking BW) and a NEGATIVE/UNFLATTERING/STEREOTYPICAL images to represent typical BW (eg. only showing dark skinned BW as fat mammies, sapphires, etc.).
chic noir says,
laromona I was just going thru my blog list when this niffty little question happened to pop up. This guy has a blog and he gives out advice to women and somtimes men.
http://boyslifenyc.com/post/1720657506/hi-boyslife-im-a-young-black-female-thats-honestly
laromana says,
chic noir, the why are WM “initmidated” by BW question was interesting. What I’ve discovered in my life experience is that ANTI-BW COWARD WM are the main ones who are “intimidated” by BW because they are AFRAID of LOSING status for being SEEN with a BW/being in a DATING/MARRIAGE relationship with a BW.
LikeLike
Y
Chic,
Noname means they are black with aquiline features. Fashion industry usually cherry-picks black women that don’t have West African features whenever they want to display black beauty. When they do chose a black woman with broad features it’s someone like Alek Wek
Y, I get what she means and this isn’t true now. In the 80’s yes but not today. There is broad variety among blk models. the word “regal” gets used alot because of Iman, Liya and Yasmen Warsame. Just look at the way the three of them carry themselves. They move, like queenly women. I’ve never seen a picture of Iman where she wasn’t giving off regal energy. Alek doesn’t get the regal label cause she’s quirky.
I’ve also heard Regal used to describe model sessilee Lopez.
alek wek’s features are really no broader than Liya’s. Really take in Alek’s face.
look at the blk model Arlensis Sosa, she has a medium skin, wide nose and full lips. And she has a makeup contract with Estee Lauder.
I think the problem is too many of yall have issues with your own beauty. and some of you are projecting.
LikeLike
here is something positive for you all to look at.
http://www.vogue.it/en/vogue-black
stay away from the bullshit sites putting down blk women if it affects you. and you should even stay away from those sites that put down blk men with every other word. Some of yall are too sensitive and those sites are no good for you. Go to places that celebrate you and are healthy to your self esteem.
and Jeneil’s been in Victoria Secret and she’s been on the cover of a few high fashion magazines. She’s also done a number of major shows. Marc Jacobs, LV, Lanvin come to mind.
LikeLike
here is another one.
Kelly moreina from France. she was in the Galliano FW 10 campaigan.
dark skin wide nose and full lips.
LikeLike
abagond, I have a comment in moderation. will you pull it out for me please.
BTW, those comments are directed at Y per say they are directed at all of you who have issues with who you are.
and Y stop arguing with flammers on youtube. say your piece and keep it moving. those people don’t deserve much of your energy. You a bright attractive young women , going to a good school who is going places in her life. Don’t allow random losers who are bitter about life to affect you.
take a lesson from dymonique. when others try to pull you down, set them str8 and keep right on struting. always befriend your white kights.
LikeLike
@Y- I forgot to add that diahan Carrol is also called regal.
LikeLike
O: Not all of which was in a rape scenario context – to wit: Sally Hemmings, anyone?”
It’s pretty obvious you don’t know much about the story of Sally Hemmings. Wikepedia won’t do it.
that was rape OBS. SAlly Hemmings was 14 years old. Do you even know the history between these two? Jefferson was well into middle age when he took advantage of her. Sally Hemmings had a severe case of Stockholm syndrome.
LikeLike
@Chic noir
I really enjoyed what you just said! First and foremost, why do people assume that when a black woman is attractive, she is a “white woman dipped in chocalate”. There are many attractive black women who have full lips and slightly wide noses. You don’t have to have thin noses and lips in order to be beautiful. And black women who are not considered traditionally beautiful, such as Alex Wek, don’t necessarily have features that are any fuller or thicker than anyone elses. In my opinion, women who are attractive, regardless of race, are HEALTHY, fit, have a positive attitude about themselves, and wear their own hair ( as opposed to hair pieces and weaves). A positive attitude is very important because if you believe all the nonsense that people say about black women, then you will be less likely to believe that it is possible for you to be beautiful. And you won’t try to maintain your beauty, like by exercising and eating healthy. You also will be more likely to wear ridiculous looking weaves and wigs.
LikeLike
http://fashioncopious.typepad.com/fashioncopious/2010/08/editorial-vogue-russia-by-sharif-hamza.html
alright yall, this the last one for real.
here is a spread in vogue Russia with jeneil Williams(dark) and sedene blake(medium) both of whom are from Jamaica. Sedene was also in the F/W prada editorial btw .
fun fact: for all the racial problems Russia has, they use many blk models in Vogue Russia. even Russian brands not sold in the US will use blk models. Naomi Campbell gets 1-2 Vogue Russia covers for the past few years.
LikeLike
A positive attitude is very important because if you believe all the nonsense that people say about black women, then you will be less likely to believe that it is possible for you to be beautiful.
@jeri -thank you & well said.
And you won’t try to maintain your beauty, like by exercising and eating healthy. You also will be more likely to wear ridiculous looking weaves and wigs.
Very true and I hate those wigs. I have a story to tell about a sister I saw wearing a blonde wig and carmel colored contacts.
And black women who are not considered traditionally beautiful, such as Alex Wek, don’t necessarily have features that are any fuller or thicker than anyone elses
word!
LikeLike
@Chic noir
Another thing I agreee on with you is that I think many black people, black women in particular, are paying way too much attention to what people are saying on different websites. We are letting people drain too much positive energy from our lives by taking what other people say too seriously. I agree with you. Some of us are way too sensitive!!!! We will never be happy if we constantly focus on what negative and ignorant people have to say. Those people who make racist comments are often insecure and miserable, and like I have said before, “misery loves company”. Life is difficult enough when you don’t read negative comments. But when you read all those racist youtube comments and loose it whenever someone says something racist or cruel, you are only making your life all the more difficult. I used to sometimes let what people say on the websites, especially youtube, get to me. But I realize now that all that matters in life is how I feel about myself. I am a child of God, I am beautiful and I don’t care what other people have to say about me. Period.
LikeLike
@ Chick
Kelly Moreira is insanely good looking.
She’s been one of my faves for a while now.
LikeLike
@Chic Noir
Yeah, a blonde wig and caremel contact lenses!!! That sounds ridiculous!! Most women look way better with their own natural look. We should remember how beautiful black women looked in the early 70’s, when they were wearing natural hairstyles. Also, they were so thin, healthy looking, and just plain stunning!!! I still look at those old Soul Train episodes. Gosh, both the men and women looked so good back then. And why was that the case. Because they knew they were beautiful and they declared it to the world. “Black is beautiful” was the saying of those days!! Gosh, I wish we could get back to that!!!.
LikeLike
And understand something, black people had to deal with more racism back then than now. But they had the strength to tell everybody ” I am beautiful”. If they could do it back then, then we should be able to do it now. We can learn alot from those who came before us. Let’s get back to that. As the old timers used to say “Can you dig it?”!!
LikeLike
jeri Yeah, a blonde wig and caremel contact lenses!!! That sounds ridiculous!! Most women look way better with their own natural look
yea some wht guy was looking at her like she was from another planet. then when he saw me mean muggin him, he gave me the American smile. then again maybe it was a geniune smile.
I shook my head at both of them. Her for trying to be something that she’s not to the point of looking like an alien. Him for looking at another human being like that.
remember when marry J was putting all that strange crap on a few years ago??? Boy did she look weird.
If they are going to wear wigs at least get wigs that look like they can be your real hair. I hate those wigs that make sisters look like the prostitue from Carwash
Also, they were so thin, healthy looking, and just plain stunning!!! I still look at those old Soul Train episodes.
Yes, they were thin and lean and limber looking. Now even most of the thin people have a sort of bloated look to them. If not it’s cause they are on some sort of crazy restricted diet. Our foods are realy screwed up in this country.
We should remember how beautiful black women looked in the early 70′s,
Tamara Dobson(RIP) and Pam Grier were the truth 🙂
LikeLike
another blk model to know
shena moulton
Jamican
flat nose
full lips
very lond legs
she looks like plenty of slim blk girls you see walking down the street in any urban american city.
did many major shows. She did shows where she was the lone blk model like Calvin Klein. She also did Jill Sander and they don’t often use blk models. She did marc Jacobs andwhose been using blk models even during the drought. He used 8 in his spring summer show. I think just about all of them were meduim – dark skinned.
she did well in Milian and many sisters don’t do so well in milian anymore.
LikeLike
King I’ve got a weak spot for kelly moriera too. She is gorgeous and has the sort of face that I just love. She looks like a doll.
Jerri And understand something, black people had to deal with more racism back then than now. But they had the strength to tell everybody ” I am beautiful”.
Exactly! We use to have so much pride and dignity even when we had other people trying to tear us down. It like so many of us have just given up.
naomi sims was really the first blk model to open doors. look at pics of naomi sims and tell me she wasn’t elegance personified. naomi simms made way for beverly johnson and iman who of course made way for naomi and tyra. You can buy Sims’s book on Amazon for a couple of dollars. It’s something I would give me preteen daughter if I had one.
LikeLike
Jerri you are a friend in my head 🙂 I totally agree with.
LikeLike
here is an ad for David Yurman with Arlensis sosa. her nose was left it’s normal flat shape, her lips are full and her skin is medium. even her hair wasn’t bone str8. now david yurman is a high end brand mind you and she was on contract with them. so arlensis is making out pretty good when you combine that contract with her estae lauder contract.
tiffanys had liya Kebede in their ads.
two blk models in ads for high end jewerly companies. Two companies that the average blk woman can’t afford to shop from. Now I wonder how that happened???
LikeLike
Pam Grier still swept the sox off from any man in Tarantinos Jackie Brown and she was not a spring chiken at that time either. That woman is dynamite!
“Because they knew they were beautiful and they declared it to the world. “Black is beautiful” was the saying of those days!! Gosh, I wish we could get back to that!!!.!
It is up to you. Be black and proud. Be a Woman and be proud of that too! World is full of all kinds of wiseasses who will try to put you down one way or the other because they just want. They tell you that your hair is wrong, your eyes are wrong, your nose is wrong, your body is wrong, this and that and guess what: they are all wrong. Who are they to tell you that?
Which reminds me of one joke: a white woman went to see her shrink and told him that she finally had an orgasm. The shrink told her it was a wrong kind.
LikeLike
here’s the tiffany video with liya.
well the blk male model’s nose is str8 but so what. a medium colored blk couple who look happy, classy ,well dressed. they even have a kid who looks happy and well adjusted. no body was “busting shots”, “sagging”, worried about “the man” , “ray ray and them”, “beefing” or any of the other BS. Just a blk couple looking happy and celebarting.
block out the other two couple and what they have and or look like. just focus on liya.
*negative nancy takes a look at the video*
*frows face maing sure her blk will crack before it’s time*
btw did yall see liya playing the piano, how very cultured of her. Oh wait maybe that was a stereotype since she’s blk and yall know we talented with music. didn’t none of the other two women play instruments. and why was the blonde woman picked up??? what they trying to say… we too heavy to be picked up???
*gets up & storms away*
LikeLike
@Chic Noir
Thankyou. That was nice! You are a friend to me also! It is nice to hear someone who feels the same way you do! Thanks for your brilliant comments! I really appreciate them!
LikeLike
your welcome jeri 🙂
Now I really going to knock out the militant BW and self haters!!!!
Meet Flaviana Matata
from Tanzania
dark skinned
*gasp*
flat nosed
*dead faint*
Was a contestant in the Miss Universe pagement in 2007. She came in 6th place. Miss Flaviana’s was bald headed. not one strand of hair on her head. Yet she managed to make top 10. She beat out how many non blk and light skinned blk women to make top 10????
there were even blonde haired blue eyed women who she outdid.
I was utterly taken in by Flaviana she was so elegant and graceful when speaking. I wish I could find a video of her when she answered her question.
btw, there was also a Jamican contestant that year who had waist length locks.
LikeLike
while we’re on the topic of Miss Universe ….
Two blk women won the crown back to back.
Wendy Fitzwillam
dark skinned
full lips
and she handed off the tittle to another blk woman.
Mpule Kwelagobe from Botswanna
medium complextioned
mpule
LikeLike
can someone explain to me what is so bad about a flatter nose?! i have a bridge and i HATE it! i feel it makes me more masculine looking or something. grr.
LikeLike
1999 had blk women across the color spectrum to make final 10. Check out akuba cudjoe from Ghana. I should’ve added her to my list. Akuba is one gorgeious sister. Miss India was also stunning. She has a doll face.
LikeLike
mei ly – I don’t get it either. as long as the nose is in balance with the rest of the features it doesn’t matter.
LikeLike
@Chic Noir
I actually like it when I see people in different contact colors and wigs, or weaves, or dyed hair. But that’s because I love all sort of fashion statements. Even if I wouldn’t wear it. Of course, if there is self hate involved that is not good but, imo, you can’t really tell by what someone is wearing. Heck, even I want blond hair. Just for fun. But I won’t do it because dying is damaging and I get hella bored! Everyone tells me to wear a wig, lol. Also, if you have heard of gyarus, fashion trend for girls in japan, there is a growing number of black girls going for this look. Usually they wear diff. colored contacts, light brown or blond hair, and what is popular now are circle lenses. But I probably am biased because I celebrate almost any sort of self expression.
LikeLike
LMAO Its ok Chic, calm down.
The internet peoples haven’t taken over my brain!! Not yet at least 😛
Kidding, my life is actually quite different offline…These topics about beauty, race ect rarely come up, if at all…
LikeLike
While we are talking about beauty queens…Miss World 2001 was a Nigerian, woohoo!
LikeLike
@ Chic Noir:
I remember her when she won the 1999 Miss Universe. I must admit I was rooting for my mom’s home country (Philippines) as she was also in the top ten with Mpule Kwelagobe. When I listened to Miss. Kwelagobe’s interview, I loved her confidence and her eloquence. She won me over with her intelligence and beauty. One of my favorite Miss Universe.
LikeLike
ChicNoir
Speaking of wigs, this is why I never got into Iman. I never thought she was a real beauty because of those straight hairstyles they constantly gave her. Only good photo of her was when she is pregnant with her first husband holding her breast.
LikeLike
Y
LMAO Its ok Chic, calm down.
my bad 🙂
sorry
LikeLike
Noname,
That was a beautiful photo…I believe she was married to Tim Haddaway I think he was a basketball player.
LikeLike
@Y- yea I had miss world 2001 in my list . She had also made top 10 in miss universe the same year so she was born to win.
@leigh-muple is one of my favorites. every time they call her name she genuinely looks shocked.
mei lyBut that’s because I love all sort of fashion statements.
It can be a fashion statement when in context but most of the blk girls I see doing it, look a hot mess.
Also, if you have heard of gyarus, fashion trend for girls in japan, there is a growing number of black girls going for this look
I’ve seen those girls in Japan.
noname- iman came about in a different time. if you were blk and wanted to hair two peaces of hair on your head, you wore wigs or weaves cause not many stylist knew what to do with our hair. Now you see a number of blk models rocking natural hair that they press if a designer wants str8 hair. Iman said that hair stylist burned her out . Tyra said her edges got fried. Rhosumba has been natural for the most part.
LikeLike
@chic noir
I guess it is fashion beauty is in the eye of the beholder, lol!
Also, lets remember, not all natural is considered good to others. I’m sure there are those who see my hair natural and curly think I look a hot mess. :.(
LikeLike
@Chic noir
What did you think of the gyarus? There are many different kinds. I like Hime Gyaru the best.
LikeLike
@Mei Ly & Chic noir:
I love gyaru styles. My fave is oneegyaru.
LikeLike
@Leigh
Ohhh, yea. Oneeg gyaru is cool because it seems very trendy. I really like this one as well!
I really can’t wait until I purchase my circle lenses. I guess I’m “allowed” to purchase green since I already have that eye color. XP
LikeLike
Hime Gyaru = loita
yes?
LikeLike
mei ly- be careful with those circle lenses. I’ve read that doctors don’t like them because of what they do to your iris or pupil.
LikeLike
mei ly I guess I’m “allowed” to purchase green since I already have that eye color
chic noir throws up hands*
alright alright
let me apologize for coming off as overly preachy. I just don’t like it that some blk women have these self-hatred issues.
*group hug among the queens*
LikeLike
Mira said:
“I’m late for the party, but I have to ask:
Abagond, did you like the movie or not?”
I have mixed feelings. Overall it was saved by the ending and by having Sanaa Lathan in it – I could probably watch any movie she stars in, even with the sound turned off. On the other hand, this is a love story and the two main characters did not seem like they were in love. A huge strike against it.
So for me it comes down to who the female lead is. With Sanaa Lathan or Megan Fox, say, it works well enough to be watchable, but if it were, say, Jennifer Aniston or Beyonce, I would probably hate it.
LikeLike
Mm..no, they are two very different things. Although they seem similar. Well, Hime gyaru seems the most similar to Lolita.
I will try to break it down to extreme basics:
Lolita has the style of Victorian and rococo era. They wear more clunky shoes and show little skin. They want the look of a doll. There are different variations of Lolita. Gothic being one. Maybe 10 variations? Not so sure.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolita_fashion
Gyaru means gal in Japanese. There are different variations of this. Hime gyaru is different from Onee gyaru, as an example. I think there are 15 different types of gyaru’s. Some gyaru’s are out of style but they are the predecessors to the gals of today.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gyaru
I hope this helped.
LikeLike
@Chic Noir
I really recommend looking them up. But sit down! If you think black women with blond wigs is a hot mess I can only imagine your response to the gyarus! LOL! XD
LikeLike
abagond, Megan Fox is like a modern elizabeth taylor no?
mei ly- thanks. i have one of the fruits books and i also like this site.
http://www.style-arena.jp/
street peeper is good too.
do you tread any japanesse magazines? i like vivi, sweet, cutie and
LikeLike
and mini
sorry.
LikeLike
I thought Simon Baker is cute in that exotic sort of way. Yes, I do find some white people exotic. I never thought Sanna is pretty. NOT ugly! Just normal? But I have the weirdest tastes.
I caught the movie on tv a few times, but it bored me so I never finished it or really gave full attention.
@Leigh
Do you watch korean dramas? If so check out dramafever.com
The quality is very good!
LikeLike
@Chic
I’ve seen those magazines but never bought one. They are def. eye candy. YUM!
Megan Fox is one of the most beautiful woman to my eyes. *stares off dreamily* No, I’m not lesbian. Well, maybe a little. 😉
LikeLike
Thanks Chic Noir!! The site looks great!
LikeLike
mei ly-
you can get some of them for between 5-10 bucks on ebay. Including shipping. I saw some newly listed issues of Sweet for 99 cents.
vivi and sweet are usually about 300 pages so you get your money’s worth. I really like the what’s in your bag feature. If you’re ever in town, we have a Japanese store that sells Japanese magazines along with everything else Japanese. It’s in walking distance of Macy’s Heraldsquare. I think you would love it.
LikeLike
@ Chic Noir:
Thanks for the Black Vogue link!
LikeLike
@abagond- what do you think of this lady
Oxana Fedorova much better than meghan fox yes?
she will be number one of my list of most beautiful white women in entertianment.
LikeLike
your welcome abagond. do you see my questions?
LikeLike
@ChicNoir
THANKYOU!!!! I will def go to ebay. I never thought of it. I just knew the magazines were very expensive.
You must be in NY. I think you did tell me that. And I did hear they sell them in NY. So lucky!!
Now, for money to get up to NY. *sigh* 😦
Until then, EBAY it is!
LikeLike
I wonder if beauty has something to do with shapes we like. And other things that arent human related. Is there a coalition between our housing decor and what we find attractive in a person?
LikeLike
mei ly- check out the seller shouc. she has a few up for 2008 for 99 cents. I’ve also seen gothic lotia mags being sold on ebay.
Now, for money to get up to NY. *sigh*
well when you come you can save money and stay in a hostel. Just make sure you check first to see if it has had a report for bedbugs. NYC isn’t a three day visit sort of place. You need a week.
LikeLike
@Chicnoir
Yea, I’ve been up that way a few times. I stayed with friends.
I tried to move there, but that didn’t work out.
LikeLike
I really don’t wanna be stepping into this obvious intraracial subject here, and so I won’t, other than to say this– (and I trust that what will sound to some as the naivete of this comment will suffice to clarify that I’m not trying to act like I know something anyone else needs to learn from me; it’s just my honest reaction to reading some of the posts and replies here) I believe that a lot of the misery that afflicts adults as they move out of their twenties and thirties results from their having spent too much time and energy seeking partners– people to date and be seen with and people to marry– on the basis of what the other person would do for their status. Now, to me, it’s natural for ALL people to want to believe that they are worthy of the BEST– however they define “best” boyfriend/girlfriend out there; thus, I don’t find it so unusual to see Obsidian’s and Jorbia’s discussion earlier, wherein they both accused the other of deserving– being “entitled” was the word, actually– to a relationship with a person, a professional and presumably physically beautiful man or woman, regardless… like I said, that’s a natural thing to believe in and attempt to realize when a person is young. And Jorbia is basically correct, too, in noting that generally speaking, people tend to date and marry within their own social class, with some exceptions…
But what kept on hitting me as I read was the continued assaults on one another’s dignity– Jorbia talking about “Leroy the janitor” and Obsidian just generally staying in a posture of all knowingness relative to black women.. I’ll give you an outsider’s perspective, for what it’s worth: I’ve been married almost thirteen years and thus no longer have a personal stake in all of that, but I felt a good bit of the sting nearly each time the two of you went back and forth at each other– not because what either of you was saying was wrong, per se; I mean, it wasn’t, first, because it’s your respective personal preference and second, because the things you were each saying, though they were often harsh, weren’t really THAT far outside the mainstream of thought of most young people, regardless of their racial backgrounds.. and YET– I just wish I could spare you two the years of disappointment you might experience if you place such expectations on the person you will finally judge worthy of marriage to you. In fact, a better way to say that is to turn it 180 degrees around and say that I wish I could convince you of the vastly superior quality of life and love you are likely to find if you would seek the more “boring” and “banal” qualities of honesty, guilelessness, and kindness (and mind you, such a person need not be boring and will in no circumstance be common or banal, though I used that word because of the assumptions many seem to make) in a partner.
Oh, and the part about having out of wedlock children– I’m not gonna lie about the fact that any man who chooses to marry a woman under those circumstances takes a certain risk with regard to his reputation, and more importantly, with his sense of the quality of his own manhood and desirability, and I won’t pretend that obstacle isn’t real, and will be a thing he’ll have to overpower if he’s to embrace such a situation with dignity– but I will say that the shame he may feel is based on a lie. First, it may very well be a lie that the woman in question was at all immoral simply because of her circumstance, and secondly, it cannot be true that God values a man on the basis of how attractive he is to young and childless women… now, mind you, it bears repeating that knowing such a thing, and repeating it as I just have, does not mean it will be as simple to learn to live with it– but I will tell you that men do accomplish that… some men do, anyway. You may find it easier to accomplish than you expected to, and once you’re free of the burden of the shame, you may find yourself a good deal luckier than you could have imagined.
LikeLike
Mei Ly- I tried to move there, but that didn’t work out.
well if you still want to don’t give up. It’s sooo expensive thought. thank God I live with family. but it’s the greatest city in the world.
did you check out the rich ladies draped in fur on the Upper East Side?
What was your favorite neighborhood?
LikeLike
well said demarrin.
LikeLike
I like the Queens (flushing) and Manhattan. Brooklyn is kind of creepy at night.
I don’t think I made it to the East Side. But I want to. It is my dream to be one of those upper crust Manhattanites we love to hate! lol!
LikeLike
Oh. But I might live in China or Korea. Not sure. This economy is literally killing me with finances and doing things with my life.
LikeLike
yea the economy is really awful. I hope things start looking up for you.
LikeLike
Chic Noir:
Megan Fox is beautiful but she is not a good actress. Elizabeth Taylor was both beautiful and talented. Angelina Jolie might be a better comparison.
I think Megan Fox is better looking than Oxana Fedorova.
LikeLike
@Chic Noir
Yes thankyou for the Vogue website!! I really enjoyed looking at it. So many talented and beautiful up and coming black models!! Very postive. Now that is what I am talking about! I want to look at websites that uplift and motivate black women, not bring us down. We can find that anywhere. Thankyou so much. Girl, it is like we are kindred spirits! Keep up the good work. I would like to learn about more websites that do the same!
LikeLike
@Abagond, Chic Noir
Beautiful women in entertainment that are white:
Sophia Loren
Marilyn Monroe
Raquel Welch
Kim Kardasian
Elizabeth Taylor
Ava Gardner
Kim Bassinger
LikeLike
This movie was a bit boo-hiss. I think the first time I saw it I was drinking Moscato and playing Everquest.
People are going to have their standards and they’re allowed to have them. The mating game hasn’t changed since antiquity. Just as a nobleman would not marry a servant girl, society cannot expect those kinds of class lines to fade just because we’re cloaked in modernity;. It’s not right, but it’s reality.
LikeLike
@chicknoir: well, about miss universe check this out:
thats right! the black beauty is really miss Finland!! what a beauty she is, still today!
LikeLike
megan fox was beautiful before she destroyed her face and same with kim kardashian.
LikeLike
@dmerrin10000–
I appreciate your calmness and your points. Janitorial work is legal, honorable work, but I wish that BAM would leave us alone and stop trying to tell us who is good enough for us and stop trying to tell us to “settle” or to make us shut up.
I think that many BAW work hard to try to improve their lives. I know that lots of time, BAW college students feel very alone and stressed on majority white college campuses, but they stay there and graduate–in order to try to improve their lives. Probably if some BAW heard that flying off into the black holes in space would improve their lives, they would do that too. But it seems that no matter what BAW do, so many black men accuse us of being “uppity” and otherwise try to tear us down. Even though they claim they can get plenty other women, they’re constantly picking at the relatively small percentage of black women who go on for more education and become professionals.
If you had a whole segment of people who constantly picked at you about this and that when you were expressing your opinions and who tried to silence you, would you be able to be as calm and level headed as you seem to be? 🙂
LikeLike
jorbia says,
@dmerrin10000–
-I appreciate your calmness and your points. Janitorial work is legal, honorable work, but I wish that BAM would leave us alone and stop trying to tell us who is good enough for us and stop trying to tell us to “settle” or to make us shut up.
-I think that many BAW work hard to try to improve their lives. I know that lots of time, BAW college students feel very alone and stressed on majority white college campuses, but they stay there and graduate–in order to try to improve their lives. Probably if some BAW heard that flying off into the black holes in space would improve their lives, they would do that too. But it seems that no matter what BAW do, so many black men accuse us of being “uppity” and otherwise try to tear us down. Even though they claim they can get plenty other women, they’re constantly picking at the relatively small percentage of black women who go on for more education and become professionals.
-If you had a whole segment of people who constantly picked at you about this and that when you were expressing your opinions and who tried to silence you, would you be able to be as calm and level headed as you seem to be?
laromana says,
jorbia, EXCELLENT points. Like you, I wish EVERYONE would learn to RESPECT BW’s right to LIVE OUR LIVES ANY WAY WE CHOOSE.
Since the days of slavery, BW have had to face ANTI-BW RACISM/HATE in EVERY part of our lives.
In America, there has ALWAYS been the mindset that, UNLIKE NON-BW, BW DON’T “DESERVE” to live QUALITY lives with LOVING, CARING, husbands/partners who will MARRY them and help them raise their children in a STABLE, SECURE household.
I’m ESPECIALLY ANGERED by the MANY ANTI-BW RACIST BM who think they have the RIGHT to tell BW HOW to live OUR lives when all they do is CONSTANTLY TRASH the HUMANITY, DIGNITY and FEMININITY of BW .
LikeLike
jorbia,
Did you major in narcissism when you were in undergrad? I am kinda sick of your whinging and whinning. Most black men aint got time for you ok. They aint thinking about you, they dont know or care if you exist. You sound so desperate for their attention, good or bad, you can’t even appreciate that both black men and women who have done something for themselves get pressured by their family or their group. A black man can barely reject a struggling single mother or be accused of self hate, or being a sellout, or whatever when he doesnt submit to the demands of the community.
Get off of it already. Its boring. Its hackneyed, its tired. Find some new material.
Next up… Imma get me a white man.
Yawn!!!
LikeLike
I’ve seen Abagond do profiles of what kind of white man goes for black women and the type of black woman that these white men preferr, but what about the reverse? Could you (Abagond) put together a rough portrait of the kinds of black women who typically go for white men and the kind of white guy they tend to go for?
As an American white man, I’ve noticed that the vast majority of attention I get from black women tends to be from black women who are not African-American. Any thoughts?
LikeLike
@Noname–
I am kinda sick of your whinging and whinning. Most black men aint got time for you ok. They aint thinking about you they dont know or care if you exist. You sound so desperate for their attention, good or bad
Well, seems I have another fan who reads my every word I write. I certainly know you are thinking about me. I know you care that I exist because you want me to talk to you and this is why you keeping jumping up to get my attention. 🙂 If you didn’t want my attention, you would just ignore my comments, so stop being so obvious.
LikeLike
@Chris–
As an American white man, I’ve noticed that the vast majority of attention I get from black women tends to be from black women who are not African-American. Any thoughts?
I don’t think there would be many responses to such a thread if Agabond started it, or not from most BAW. Some of them might mumble a little something, but I doubt that you would get their full, honest opinions. There probably would be BAM like Chris Rock who would tell you that BAW don’t really like white men because we all know that black men are mind readers.
Some BAW really, really like white men, but if the women show it, they have to deal with being called “sellout” and even worse, even from black men who are dating ww.
LikeLike
@Chris–
what Jorbia says.
LikeLike
Chris says,
As an American white man, I’ve noticed that the vast majority of attention I get from black women tends to be from black women who are not African-American. Any thoughts?
laromana says,
Chris, though it’s true that more NON-BAW BW are likely to openly show an attraction to/serious relationships with WM, more BAW are beginning to openly show their attraction to WM too, despite the MANY DISGUSTIING, HYPOCRITICAL, ANTI-BW BAM who try to INTIMIDATE them against it.
LikeLike
Yes, Chris, some of those BAW you see around you everyday may be very interested. You should start a friendly chat with one that you like just to see how she responds. If she doesn’t respond in a positive way, don’t take it personally.
Many BAW think that white men are not interested in them because they’re not light enough or don’t look more like white women in other ways. Just say something a little humorous to break the ice and see how it goes. Pay her a light compliment so that she knows you’re interested in her as a woman and you’re not just being friendly. Another thing is to try to talk with her when she’s alone in a very public place.
LikeLike
laromana
“…who try to INTIMIDATE them against it.”
More excuse making. Sometimes you have to be an adult and take some responsibility for your fate in life.
LikeLike
Seems to me that in US there is a some sort of social things that hinder BW/WM realtionships. I just want to say to any black women out there, there are much much more white men thinking about getting serious with black women than you even know or realise.
Yeah, there might be some reactions from both sides of the race line, some sniping and ugly comments, but hey, that is their problem. If a black woman wants to get a white man for her husband or lover, who can say No? Nobody.
And all this nonsense about too big differences and cultural divides and such is just blabbering. There is much bigger difference between italians and finns culturally than between any white and black americans. The black women I met during my stay in US twenty years ago made much more sense to me than russian women and they live right next door to us finns. So most of this cultural divide is between our ears, in our minds, and that is slowing us all down.
I admit that it is not that easy to approach black women as white guy, specially as a foreigner, but at least I tried it once and she did not shoot me down with an Uzi. She just said sorry, no go. If I met a good smart funny black woman now, I’d do it again. You’ll never know. One day some black woman might say yes.
I don’t care if she is darker than the night or light or what ever color, her hair is this way or that, or any other thing like that, for me the point is that she is ok with herself. If she is a good woman, who cares what color she is? She is a good woman.
I think too many white guys have been limiting themselves too. If you see a nice black woman, just go to talk to her. If she says Beat it, say have a nice day and retreat. Whats the harm there? She don’t like you? Well bu hu hu. That happens with white chicks as well but that dont make you suicidal, at least I hope so.
And then there is this “Race is disappearing” crap. Well, that was the slogan of the good ole white boys for decades. You remember those funny guys running around in their mamas gowns and those pointy hats in woods in the middle of the night? Yeap. Those guys said that if white women make babies with black men, the white race dissappears. If white men marry black women, the white race will dissappear. Yeah, right… Maybe not so fast, guys.
Now I hear some black dudes saying the same for black women. I mean, get real guys! If black woman has babies with a white man, those babies are going to have curly hair, brown skin, brown eyes etc. For you catergorising-everything-nut yankees they would be black babies anyways. Besides, those pointy hats were right in a way: white race is going to dissappear, no matter anybody says or does. Sooner or later. That is the law of evolution. It may take few hunderd thousand years or so, but sooner or later it will happen. And black women will still be around after that. So don’t you worry about that boys!
I think we all should get over certain things about the race. Racism is real and should be dealt with but lets not uphold it just because of… Well, what?
What it really is it that is stopping b/w relationships? Why a white man should not be in love with a black woman? What is wrong with that? Why a black woman should not be with a white man? There is no reason. Just excuses. If it works between them, it does. It is no different from any other man/woman relationship. The skin color and race are consepts in our minds. Don’t let them stop you if you want to date a white or a black person. We are all humans. You’ll see.
But still, that movie did not work for me. Too lame somehow. I don’t know why.
LikeLike
sam says,
I think we all should get over certain things about the race. Racism is real and should be dealt with but lets not uphold it just because of… Well, what?
What it really is it that is stopping b/w relationships? Why a white man should not be in love with a black woman? What is wrong with that? Why a black woman should not be with a white man? There is no reason. Just excuses. If it works between them, it does. It is no different from any other man/woman relationship. The skin color and race are consepts in our minds. Don’t let them stop you if you want to date a white or a black person. We are all humans. You’ll see.
laromana says,
sam, thanks for your EXCELLENT, COMMON SENSE comments. I hope more American WM who are attracted to/want to be in serious relationships with BW will learn to us like the NORMAL, HUMAN WOMEN we are
LikeLike
Noname says,
More excuse making. Sometimes you have to be an adult and take some responsibility for your fate in life.
laromana says,
NN, why don’t you TRY being an ADULT, if you can, and STOP PRETENDING that ANTI-BW RACISM/ANTI-BW BAM DON’T EXIST.
There are enough cases of BAM MURDERING BAW and their White husbands, boyfriends, or partners (not just INTIMIDATING them) to prove that this SICK PHENOMENON is real.
It has NOTHING to do with “BW’s FATE” or “EXCUSE MAKING”.
LikeLike
Laromana
Really, there is enough cases of men murdering women. Men in the military murdering their wives. Cops murdering their wives. Does that mean you will stay away from men, Marines and Detectives? Please. Stop acting like there is some kristallnacht going on. You can take many surveys done about inter racial dating and read about the black out (no pun intended) on black women and inter racial dating but that is NEVER any proof of anything. Its only when you can point your finger at black men do things become real and forbidden.
But please lets here about the threats, intimidation and pressure keeping the natural love between black women and white men from thriving.
Girl do sit down.
I am sick of your ANTI BAM RACIST MISANDRY. See I can do it too.
LikeLike
Noname says,
Laromana
Really, there is enough cases of men murdering women. Men in the military murdering their wives. Cops murdering their wives. Does that mean you will stay away from men, Marines and Detectives? Please. Stop acting like there is some kristallnacht going on. You can take many surveys done about inter racial dating and read about the black out (no pun intended) on black women and inter racial dating but that is NEVER any proof of anything. Its only when you can point your finger at black men do things become real and forbidden.
But please lets here about the threats, intimidation and pressure keeping the natural love between black women and white men from thriving.
Girl do sit down.
I am sick of your ANTI BAM RACIST MISANDRY. See I can do it too.
laromana says,
NN, IF THE SHOE FITS AND YOU DON’T LIKE IT, CHANGE AND STOP TALKING NONSENSE.
LikeLike
@Chris
I know a slew of black women in my area who like white men and only date white men. But, they are all different ages and it seems the are either, 1. fed up with black guys and do not think they are good partners. 2. just more attracted to white men.
But what I have noticed is that they talk down about black men, which is pretty sad. 😦
LikeLike
@Mei Ly
Yeah, I would be nice if people could date interracially without dogging the opposite sex of their race. Why can’t you just like someone of a different race without hating your own kind? And hey, black men do it all the time also!!! Not just black women! Many black men say that black women are too difficult, mean, not feminine etc. So that is why they only want to date white women! Both black men and women are guilty! If you are attracted to people of a different race, just say it. You don’t need an excuse and you don’t need to speak ill of people in your race. People can be really immature!
LikeLike
@Mei Ly
I remember when I was going to college, that I had a crush on this white guy who was a fellow student. He was tall, had dark hair, and beautiful dark almond shaped eyes. I thought he was gorgeous! He was a nice guy. Whenever, he needed help with chemistry, he would ask me and I would tutor him! Now understand, when I felt this way, I didn’t have any hatred towards black men at the time. I just liked men! Period. I liked men of all nationalities. I had a crush on a darker skinned black man named Michael when I was in highschool and I liked this guy who was half-Indian when I was in a university internship during the summer. The first guy I ever had a date with was a white man! His name was Chris. So men are men to me! There are gorgeous ones of every ethnic group. So my having a crush on this young white man had nothing to do with me having any resentments towards black men! And the last thing I would do is dog black men while on a date with a man of another race. That would be just plain foolish!
LikeLike
@Mei Ly
So if people like someone of another race, they don’t need a reason other than they are simply attracted to that person. You don’t need to have an attitude with people within your race to validate your feelings. Just do your thing!! If some people have a problem with it. Then oh well!!Cause understand, if you marry someone of another race, your children will still be black and you don’t want to have a negative attitude about black men/women around your children. They might learn to hate black people because of your immature behavior!!! And to hate black people would be to hate yourself! You don’t want your children to have that attitude!!
LikeLike
If i have children. I don’t want to mess up my figure.
LikeLike
Overall it was saved by the ending and by having Sanaa Lathan in it – I could probably watch any movie she stars in, even with the sound turned off.
That was what got my husband through it. He normally hates romantic comedies of any sort.
I watched it twice for Simon Baker’s garden-digging scene. Go ahead and turn that sound off.
LikeLike
@Jheri
I dont think a black man would make it out of a room if he just said, I am attractive to white, Asian or Hispanic women. If he is than that completely eliminates black women. If he just keeps it about a black woman’s attitude than at least the black woman still have a chance. She could become a nicer person but she cant ever become white, Asian or Hispanic.
I think black women would prefer the attitude excuse.
LikeLike
Honestly, who cares if a black guy isn’t attracted to black women?! It is their taste and what they want. Everyone is allowed their own freedom.
LikeLike
@Mei Ly–
Honestly, who cares if a black guy isn’t attracted to black women?! It is their taste and what they want. Everyone is allowed their own freedom.
I completely AGREE. Likewise, if black women aren’t at all attracted to black men or don’t want to be bothered with them, she has her own freedom too. Black men and black women should just be able to do that, but that is not the case because many black men will continuously verbally harass or even physically stalk and attack black women with white men. There are cases in the news about this, but often it’s never reported or underreported.
I, personally, and many other BAW have experienced this. Many BAM on these boards will say they don’t care about black women with white men, but do not believe them. As I said, many of the black men who ONLY date white women or asian women will still call black women “sellouts” and “white men sluts and HO’s” when they see us with white men. Many black men want to keep black women in their pocket while they date and marry other women. This kind of intimidation is one of the reasons why you don’t see more black women with white men. Neither black women nor white men want to be hassled like this.
I know that black women also make comments sometimes when they see black men with black women, but their reaction is not nearly as PHYSICALLY threatening. I’m not sure what your race, nationality, or ethnicity is, but how would you feel and what would you do if men of your ethnicity even sometimes started loudly harassing you, made nasty comments, or became menacing whenever they saw you with a white guy?
LikeLike
Noname says,
@Jheri
I dont think a black man would make it out of a room if he just said, I am attractive to white, Asian or Hispanic women. If he is than that completely eliminates black women. If he just keeps it about a black woman’s attitude than at least the black woman still have a chance. She could become a nicer person but she cant ever become white, Asian or Hispanic.
I think black women would prefer the attitude excuse.
laromana says,
It is an ANTI-BW LIE that MOST BAW have a “PROBLEM” with BAM who date/marry NON-BW and it is based on the ARROGANCE, HYPOCRISIY, and DISHONESTY of certain ANTI-BW BAM who REALLY need to GET OVER THEMSELVES.
MOST BW could CARE LESS who BAM date/marry.
jorbia
@Mei Ly–
Honestly, who cares if a black guy isn’t attracted to black women?! It is their taste and what they want. Everyone is allowed their own freedom.
I completely AGREE. Likewise, if black women aren’t at all attracted to black men or don’t want to be bothered with them, she has her own freedom too. Black men and black women should just be able to do that, but that is not the case because many black men will continuously verbally harass or even physically stalk and attack black women with white men. There are cases in the news about this, but often it’s never reported or underreported.
I, personally, and many other BAW have experienced this. Many BAM on these boards will say they don’t care about black women with white men, but do not believe them. As I said, many of the black men who ONLY date white women or asian women will still call black women “sellouts” and “white men sluts and HO’s” when they see us with white men. Many black men want to keep black women in their pocket while they date and marry other women. This kind of intimidation is one of the reasons why you don’t see more black women with white men. Neither black women nor white men want to be hassled like this.
I know that black women also make comments sometimes when they see black men with black women, but their reaction is not nearly as PHYSICALLY threatening. I’m not sure what your race, nationality, or ethnicity is, but how would you feel and what would you do if men of your ethnicity even sometimes started loudly harassing you, made nasty comments, or became menacing whenever they saw you with a white guy?
laromana says,
jorbia, you are 100% CORRECT in your assessment of how ANTI-BW BAM treat BW who date WM.
It is the MANY ANTI-BW BAM who PUBLICLY TRASH the HUMANITY, DIGNITY, and FEMININITY of BAM to ANYONE who will listen and then have the NERVE to try to DICTATE who BAM “SHOULD” date/marry.
The NERVE of these ANTI-BW BAM is that they will go so far as to PHYSICALLY threaten VIOLENCE and CARRY OUT VIOLENCE against BAM with WM.
Regardless of the ABSURD DENIALS of SOME ANTI-BW BAM, it is a FACT that some of them have MURDERED BAM and their WM husbands or boyfriends.
This ANTI-BW RACIST behavior is WRONG and should be CONDEMNED/DESTROYED.
LikeLike
I gave blk women a lot of sites the other day but I have a few for blk men.
http://streetetiquette.com/
http://www.dapperlou.com/
http://kjohnlasoul.com/ – this one is my favorite.
http://swagger360.blogspot.com/
LikeLike
I didn’t even know about this film if it wasn’t for this site.
Anyways, as a romantic comedy, it wasn’t that comedic. I liked the characters, I think they, albeit being stereotypical, behaved in a logical manner.
Never thought of Simon’s character as a blue-collar, despite having a literal “hands-on” approach to his projects. After all, he had been to the corporate world as a copywriter for a (major?) ad agency. Having worked in that field myself, most people of that industry are highly intelligent and educated (self-at the least) and probably very well-paid. So he portrays a character who is following his calling and having re-educated himself as an landscape architect, an independent-thinking, OPEN-MINDED person, who probably left his lucrative job to pursue a dream. And THAT I think is what impressed Sanaa’s character. An independently-thinking man -not just a WHITE MAN.
I think there was chemistry between the characters. It was rather subtle, not starting with bigger than life emotions, but just slowly growing. Sanaa’s character was definitely difficult to approach, but Simon’s c was able to see through that, because he was OPEN-MINDED. And maybe physically attracted to her to begin with (can’t blame him). Many of the scenes were very sensual and sexually charged.
But I do feel it was made with specific audience in mind: it was a TRAINING MANUAL for BW how to date WM and what kind of obstacles a BW might confront in an interracial relationship. It almost felt like the target audience was hand-heldedly walked through the obstacles.
And I applaud the film for it. Not the best romantic film I’ve seen, but I think it needed to be done. I agree it tried to handle too many issues (the cotillion was redicilous, even if it had been about WASPS).
As a post scriptum, I kinda felt it amusing how familiar all the issues portrayed were, THANKS TO THIS SITE. Without Agabond, it would’ve all been new to me. Especially the hair scene! Exatcly the kind of mistake I would’ve made!
So, anyways, despite it’s obvious flaws, I liked it. Taught me something about BAW.
LikeLike
@Hannu L–
But I do feel it was made with specific audience in mind: it was a TRAINING MANUAL for BW how to date WM and what kind of obstacles a BW might confront in an interracial relationship. It almost felt like the target audience was hand-heldedly walked through the obstacles.
I agree that it was a “training manual.” I think I read that the producer is a BAW. I think she was trying to introduce white men to BAW as a serious dating and marriage option, as in ‘life imitates art.’ So a big chunk of the target audience was definitely BAW to get them to relax more around white guys and see them as just men. She probably knew she had to tackle the issues that would cause a BAW to think that a relationship with a white guy wouldn’t work.
Hair is one of those issues. I know for a fact that the hair issue and some of the other ones in the movie are very real among BAW. A lot of them think that white men don’t like their natural hair.
LikeLike
Jorbia,
Here’s the problem:
As I noted before upthread, the screenwriter of the film Something New, who is indeed a Black Woman, not only couldn’t get the attention of Black Men, she also failed to get the attention of White Men herself – and this is after she spent considerable time online on dating sites devoted to “swirling” and so forth. In fact, in the CNN special Black in America, it talks about this, and the fact that said Woman is still alone.
So, that, along with all the data we have at present on the question, suggests that PR campaigns haven’t been all that successful.
Meanwhile, Black Male/White Female, and White Male/Asian Female pairings, don’t seem to need as much “help” despite the fact that both Black Men and Asian Women faced far and away more recrimination than do Black Women today. Perhaps its simply time to recognize that Black Women and White Men don’t have a heck of a lot of attraction for each other, and that need not be the end of the world. Enougn already. Move on. Do you.
And give it a rest.
Jeez…
O.
LikeLike
As for the trope of hordes of Black Men marauding and terrorzing BW/Wm couples and so forth…
Thus far, there have been only TWO, count em, TWO document incidents of such violence, and they will be properly dealt with; they in no way compare to the easily dozens, if not hundreds, of BM/WW couples where they were terrorized, often with impunity, or the Black Men who were lynched on the mere suspicion of casting a gaze at White Women. This notion of wanting to hold up the actions of a few and I mean a few, Black Men is sick and only says a heck of a lot more about the Black Women who attempt to foist their views on to the rest of us than anyone else. They really need to stop it. It makes their entire premise whack and desperate.
O.
LikeLike
Obsidian, here you come looking for an argument. 🙂 Why is it that who BAW date and marry is such a big issue with so many BAM? I wish some BAM men somewhere would stand up to the rest of you and tell you to leave us alone. Why are you BAM so interested in whether we like White guys? You’re showing your insecurities. That’s so obvious. You’re scared for us to like white guys. That’s your fear showing.
Many of us do like White men and many of them do like us. Don’t BAM ever get tired of arguing with BAW? about this topicIt’s better for BAW and BAM not to talk at all than to argue and tear each other up and down constantly. You guys claim that White and Asian women want so many of you, so why not go and bother them?
Besides, BAM marry at a very low rate, about 35%, I read, and that’s their total for marrying all kinds of woman. I don’t know what portion of that low percentage is to BAW. So why do you care who we marry or whether we marry at all? Didn’t I read on your site that you’re not even married to the Black woman you’re living with. Marry her and leave other Black women ALONE!
Maybe 99% of BAW will not ever get married. But this is not YOUR business. You seem to be here, there, and everywhere talking about this. Why are you so obsessed with BAW’s marital prospects? Why do you constantly want to pick fights with BAW about the men we prefer? Isn’t this why your site was shut down–because you were trying to force that woman to talk to you about the type of men who Black women prefer to date and marry. If we tell you, you want to fight us. If we don’t tell you, you still want to fight us. Leave us alone.
LikeLike
obs Thus far, there have been only TWO, count em, TWO document incidents of such violence, and they will be properly dealt with;
the police don’t lock people up for saying nasty things or the rolling of eyes. I’ve been out with two men and some the brothers I came across weren’t so happy. I get less of that when I’m with an Asian man.
LikeLike
jorbia says,
jorbiaObsidian, here you come looking for an argument. Why is it that who BAW date and marry is such a big issue with so many BAM? I wish some BAM men somewhere would stand up to the rest of you and tell you to leave us alone. Why are you BAM so interested in whether we like White guys? You’re showing your insecurities. That’s so obvious. You’re scared for us to like white guys. That’s your fear showing.
Many of us do like White men and many of them do like us. Don’t BAM ever get tired of arguing with BAW? about this topicIt’s better for BAW and BAM not to talk at all than to argue and tear each other up and down constantly. You guys claim that White and Asian women want so many of you, so why not go and bother them?
Besides, BAM marry at a very low rate, about 35%, I read, and that’s their total for marrying all kinds of woman. I don’t know what portion of that low percentage is to BAW. So why do you care who we marry or whether we marry at all? Didn’t I read on your site that you’re not even married to the Black woman you’re living with. Marry her and leave other Black women ALONE!
Maybe 99% of BAW will not ever get married. But this is not YOUR business. You seem to be here, there, and everywhere talking about this. Why are you so obsessed with BAW’s marital prospects? Why do you constantly want to pick fights with BAW about the men we prefer? Isn’t this why your site was shut down–because you were trying to force that woman to talk to you about the type of men who Black women prefer to date and marry. If we tell you, you want to fight us. If we don’t tell you, you still want to fight us. Leave us alone.
laromana says,
Thanks for EFFECTIVELY countering the ABSOLUTE GARBAGE being spewed by certain ANTI-BW BAM.
You’re correct in stating that it would be good if BAM who ARE NOT ANTI-BW RACISTS would CONFRONT/CONDEMN ANTI-BW BAM and tell them to leave BAW/ALL OTHER BW/OUR relationship choices ALONE.
LikeLike
@Abagond:
Your review made me laugh out loud — too funny about the Alfre Woodard rule.
I loved Something New. I thought there was mucho chemistry between the lead characters (both are gorgeous too).
My husband loved the movie also and thought that it was a great romantic chick flick.
I’m a romance film fanatic and loved the interracial aspect as well as more BW are dating/marrying out and nothing is wrong with reflecting this trend in films.
LikeLike
@chic noir–
the police don’t lock people up for saying nasty things
It’s just a fact that many verbal and even sometimes the physical assaults of various types against BAW by BAM go underreported or unreported because there’s pressure on BAW to “not send another brotha to jail.” BAW talk about how they just shrug things off that some of these Black guys do to them because other Black folks have told them to “just forget about it and not make a big deal about it.” This is still harassment.
BAW also roll their eyes and make comments sometimes when they see BAM with women who aren’t Black (which I think is just ridiculous), but the physically menacing aspect is not there. Some of these BAM will actually follow you down the street making these nasty comments, like “You think you too good for a Black man!” Or yell, “sellout” and worse. It’s really scary, sometimes. These Black men are trying to discourage BAW from dating White guys.
There are many Asian women on my campus who date white guys and NONE of them have ever said that an Asian man behaved liked this. White women who date Black men there NEVER say that Black women physically menace them. We women talk about this sometimes there. There are a lot of nationalities on my campus and it’s ONLY BAW who experience this, not even the African women.
LikeLike
@Obsidian–
I’m going to try really hard to make this my last comment to you because you’re seemingly obsessed with who Black women prefer to date, especially when it’s obvious they don’t prefer Black men. I saw much evidence of your issue with Black women dating White men on your site. If you want to be a Black man dictator, you need to move to another country.
Thus far, there have been only TWO, count em, TWO document incidents of such violence, and they will be properly dealt with;
I could certainly site more than those”TWO” because when those Black guys started harassing me, I began to questions their odd behavior to find out why they felt they could tell me who I could go out with.
they in no way compare to the easily dozens, if not hundreds, of BM/WW couples where they were terrorized, often with impunity, or the Black Men who were lynched on the mere suspicion of casting a gaze at White Women.
So this is about payback? Then just leave us Black women out of your vendetta with White men! It’s cowardly to attack Black women when you’re really angry at White men.
Also, many of those very same White women wrongfully accused Black men of “casting a gaze at them” which resulted in those Black men getting lynched and that has NOT stopped BAM from dating, living with, and marrying White women in droves these days, as you mentioned above. If so many BAM can obviously so easily forgive and forget those lynchings and other brutalities that occurred as a result of White women’s lies, then why shouldn’t BAW also forgive what happened many years ago, ESPECIALLY when the White men they date today did NOT do any of that.
This notion of wanting to hold up the actions of a few and I mean a few, Black Men is sick
Then what you’re doing is “sick” as you call it because only a relative few White men did what you’ve described above to Black men. Yet YOU are holding onto the actions of a relative “few” white men.
So you and your angry BAM cohorts need to just stop with these double standards and inane arguments. Quit arguing with Black women. Quit stalking us. Go and gaze at whichever women you couldn’t get before, be happy with them and be thankful you can have them these days.
LikeLike
I don’t really get Obsidian’s obsession with this site. I understand he’s in a relationship so I fail to understand why it concerns him who other people choose to date. Racial/cultural purity? I feel that people like him must be somewhat masochists, because they enjoy banging their heads on a brick wall.
Guess what, obsidian, I’m a white guy and i just LOOOOOOOVE black women. 🙂
And if there are WM who think that BW are “ghetto”, uneducated etc: just read the posts of the BW here.
LikeLike
For some reason some Black men appear obsessed with who Black women date, which is odd because so many Black women are lonely and have never been married. Why don’t these Black men get with the never-before-married single Black women, instead of worrying about the relatively low percentage of Black women who marry non-Black men?
After all 22% of Black men now marry non-Black women, while only 9% of Black women do the same. It seems like some Black men just want Black women to be miserable.
Happiness does not equal being married to a Black man. Happiness is being married to a good man — no matter his race/ethnicity.
You can ask Tina Turner about that.
LikeLike
@hannu 😀
It is funny that some decades ago whites were dead set against mixed realtionships in US and now, 2010, black guys are so much against them. 😀
If I met a good black woman today, I’d marry her in second. Flat. And please, God, let her be really black woman, darker the better, with natural hair and all! And I don’t care shape or size, as long as shes really black
And finally, I am also a white man 😀
LikeLike
@sam
You’re the man! The…heaven forbid…WHITE man-who loves black women!
Great minds think alike, sam! 😉
p.s. And I actually know lots more white, finnish males who like black women…
LikeLike
And I also love BW with natural hair! Go with the ‘fro! Or dreadlocks. Or any other style u can come up with your hair.
LikeLike
@obsidian
I don’t understand how the film’s writer’s lack of luck with a relationship has anything to do with the message of the film. You are getting more and more transparent. Just admit it: you dislike BW dating WM.
Your way of trying to juxtapose BW’s problems of having or maintaining an IR relationship with that of BM’s lynchings is unfair to say to least. I’d say dishonest.
LikeLike
Obsidian:
I am kind of lost on this one: what is your big thing against black women dating outside the race? Black men do it way more, so unless you expect black women to be lonely, which is unfair, what else do you expect them to do? I seem to be missing something.
LikeLike
sam says,
@hannu
-It is funny that some decades ago whites were dead set against mixed realtionships in US and now, 2010, black guys are so much against them.
If I met a good black woman today, I’d marry her in second. Flat. And please, God, let her be really black woman, darker the better, with natural hair and all! And I don’t care shape or size, as long as shes really black
And finally, I am also a white man
Hannu L says,
@sam
-You’re the man! The…heaven forbid…WHITE man-who loves black women!
Great minds think alike, sam!
p.s. And I actually know lots more white, finnish males who like black women
laromana says,
sam and Hannu L,
Thanks for reminding BW in America that there are WM, (other than the relatively few WAM who like BW) around the world who think we’re beautiful and are NOT AFRAID to date or marry BW.
LikeLike
@laromana:
Well, I personally don’t think that there’s anything more attractive or desirable than a, proud, intelligent black woman. WHY I find black women “hot”, I’m not able to tell…
And I’m saying this to all you black women, who want to date out of your race: there are plenty interested, QUALITY european men who’d love to date you.
To my eye, you are BEAUTIFUL, SEXY, DESIRABLE and worthy of a life-time commitment. Marriage, kids, the whole 9 yards…
p.s. Just my personal opinion, don’t blame me of your failed attempts… 🙂
LikeLike
This IR thing is being blown out of proportion. If a black woman(or man) wants to only date outside of her race that is her choice to make…Its really not up to anyone else to tell her what she can and cannot do…
Some people are just too invested in what others want to do with their romantic lives…to those people I suggest they just get over it already.
I feel an “Inflated Egos” Part Duex coming up.
LikeLike
Also Obsidian,
You do seem to have a problem with BW and IR. I do agree with some of your points on the issue but you push the issue as if you are somehow personally affected by BW wanting non-BM
Question: Does it bother you that there are BW who would rather “switch up” to date a white collar non-BM than try to “make it work” with blue collar BM?
LikeLike
Agreeing with Y.
LikeLike
Hannu L says,
@laromana:
Well, I personally don’t think that there’s anything more attractive or desirable than a, proud, intelligent black woman. WHY I find black women “hot”, I’m not able to tell…
And I’m saying this to all you black women, who want to date out of your race: there are plenty interested, QUALITY european men who’d love to date you.
To my eye, you are BEAUTIFUL, SEXY, DESIRABLE and worthy of a life-time commitment. Marriage, kids, the whole 9 yards…
laromana says,
Hannu L,
Thanks for your complimentary words to BW.
BW in America DEFINITELY need to hear MORE of this type of POSITIVE, UPLIFTING, PRO-BW comment.
LikeLike
@Hannu–
Well, I personally don’t think that there’s anything more attractive or desirable than a, proud, intelligent black woman. WHY I find black women “hot”, I’m not able to tell…
And
@ Sam —
If I met a good black woman today, I’d marry her in second. Flat. And please, God, let her be really black woman, darker the better, with natural hair and all! And I don’t care shape or size, as long as shes really black
Thanks, Guys, you really know how to bring a smile to a Black woman’s face and warm her heart. I’m sitting here with a great big smile on my face. 🙂 I’m sure that there are quite a lot of BAW reading what you’ve said and they’re smiling too.
LikeLike
obviously obsidian just loves to argue and criticize black women for everything. i say ignore him at this point. date whoever you want as long it’s out of love and not out of revenge.
LikeLike
LOL!
are people catching on to the fact that obsidian does not love ALL black people?
LikeLike
If Black women want to date outside of the race, they’re just going to have to forge ahead and do it. Ignore the naysayers and manipulators. The teeth-suckers and eye-rollers. That’s what Black men did: no matter how much grousing, weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth they got from others, it didn’t stop Black men from dating and marrying white/non-Black women. Now it’s to the point where it’s even commonplace to see a Black man with a non-Black woman. (I often see Black men out shopping — undisturbed — with their white women and mixed race kids, whereas for most of the BW I see shopping, even those with several kids in tow, there’s often no man in sight.) Black men’s naysayers have gotten used to the BM/IR phenomenon, as it’s probably dawned on them that BM who are so inclined will continue to date outside of their race.
The same can be true for BW in another 20 or 30 years, but to get to that point, they’ll have to be able to forge on despite all the haters that will try to stop them.
LikeLike
@Abagond–
what is your big thing against black women dating outside the race? Black men do it way more, so unless you expect black women to be lonely, which is unfair, what else do you expect them to do? I seem to be missing something.
Thank you for asking these questions which go to the heart of this situation because a lot of BAM really need to confront their irrationality about this issue.
Most Black women want a relationship with a good man who appreciates them and with whom they’re COMPATIBLE. For many of us, his race does NOT matter at all. A lot of BAW don’t come out and say that because that makes BAM get angry which leads to them calling us names or making nasty comments or worse.
But if I or many of these other Black women meet a good man who appreciates us, with whom we are compatible, and this man is White, we are going to be very interested in him. This White guy is NOT 2nd choice. He is 1st choice for us because he is who we want. We want to meet men like that.
It is the many BAM like Chris Rock who constantly tell us that we don’t want “white boys” and that White guys don’t want Black women. Or they’ll say that White guys are a Black woman’s 2nd choice. 🙂
If White men believe that, they’ll believe anything.
When I date a White man, I’m with him because I like him and find that there are important areas of compatibility. He’s my 1st choice. I’m not with him because I couldn’t get a Black man. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with Black men.
LikeLike
lil’vina says,
obviously obsidian just loves to argue and criticize black women for everything. i say ignore him at this point. date whoever you want as long it’s out of love and not out of revenge.
laromana says,
EXCELLENT comment, lil’vina. ALL ANTI-BW RACIST BAM who try to INTERFERE with BW’S relationship choices need to be IGNORED.
BleuParfum says,
-If Black women want to date outside of the race, they’re just going to have to forge ahead and do it. Ignore the naysayers and manipulators. The teeth-suckers and eye-rollers. That’s what Black men did: no matter how much grousing, weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth they got from others, it didn’t stop Black men from dating and marrying white/non-Black women. Now it’s to the point where it’s even commonplace to see a Black man with a non-Black woman. (I often see Black men out shopping — undisturbed — with their white women and mixed race kids, whereas for most of the BW I see shopping, even those with several kids in tow, there’s often no man in sight.) Black men’s naysayers have gotten used to the BM/IR phenomenon, as it’s probably dawned on them that BM who are so inclined will continue to date outside of their race.
-The same can be true for BW in another 20 or 30 years, but to get to that point, they’ll have to be able to forge on despite all the haters that will try to stop them.
laromana says,
EXCELLENT comment, BleuParfum. ALL BW must take charge of OUR relationship choices and ONLY look out for relationships with QUALITY men of ANY RACE who will treat us with LOVE/RESPECT.
RECIPROCITY has to be the name of the game.
ANY man of ANY RACE that tries to use ANTI-BW RACISM/HATE to TRASH BW’s HUMANITY, DIGNITY, or FEMININITY needs to be REPRIMANDED/REJECTED.
Conversely, BW should ONLY consider being in a relationship with ANY MAN of ANY RACE who is PRO-BW and treats them with LOVE/RESPECT like NORMAL, HUMAN WOMEN.
jorbia says,
@Abagond–
what is your big thing against black women dating outside the race? Black men do it way more, so unless you expect black women to be lonely, which is unfair, what else do you expect them to do? I seem to be missing something.
-Thank you for asking these questions which go to the heart of this situation because a lot of BAM really need to confront their irrationality about this issue.
-Most Black women want a relationship with a good man who appreciates them and with whom they’re COMPATIBLE. For many of us, his race does NOT matter at all. A lot of BAW don’t come out and say that because that makes BAM get angry which leads to them calling us names or making nasty comments or worse.
-But if I or many of these other Black women meet a good man who appreciates us, with whom we are compatible, and this man is White, we are going to be very interested in him. This White guy is NOT 2nd choice. He is 1st choice for us because he is who we want. We want to meet men like that.
-It is the many BAM like Chris Rock who constantly tell us that we don’t want “white boys” and that White guys don’t want Black women. Or they’ll say that White guys are a Black woman’s 2nd choice.
-If White men believe that, they’ll believe anything.
-When I date a White man, I’m with him because I like him and find that there are important areas of compatibility. He’s my 1st choice. I’m not with him because I couldn’t get a Black man. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with Black men.
laromana says,
jorbia, I couldn’t AGREE MORE with EVERYTHING you’ve noted in your comments above.
EVERYONE (ESPECIALLY ANTI-BW BAM) needs to understand that, LIKE NON-BW, BW are OPEN to GOOD/COMPATIBLE men of ANY RACE who APPRECIATE them and will treat them with LOVE/RESPECT.
There’s NO REASON why a BW would consider a GOOD man who LOVES/RESPECTS her a “SECOND CHOICE” just because he “happens to be a WM”.
LikeLike
the only problem here: where the hell I meet BAW in Finland? We got fifteen inches of snow yesterday and I have no idea which way to go with my skiis 😀
LikeLike
http://www.blacknbougie.com/2010/11/double-standard-professional-unmarried.html
a blk bougie woman puts it to *obsidian*. Lets her your reasoning my brother.
LikeLike
@Sam–
the only problem here: where the hell I meet BAW in Finland? We got fifteen inches of snow yesterday and I have no idea which way to go with my skiis
Ah, Sam, there’s always a BAW around–everywhere, these days. My mom has a BAW girlfriend who went to Finland with her 12 year old son a few years ago on vacation. She said that everyone was very nice, but some Finns did stare at them out of curiosity. I’ll bet my mom’s friend would have liked to have had a “hot toddie” with you or what ever the name of those drinks are that warm you Finns up.
LikeLike
@ jorbia: damn, I missed her! And also, I don’t drink nor I do any drugs. Used to smoke but getting rid of that also. 😀
And about the staring, well, sometimes outsiders think we are rude because of our habits. One foreign guy was always scared in busses and subway because nobody was talking and people looked angry all the time. They did not look at each other but avoided any eye contact with sour faces.
It took few years for him to get accustomed but when his friends visited, they were concerned what was wrong with him because he was so silent and looked angry all the time.
One of my friends was living in Hollywood back in the 80’s and went to some fancy parties with his american husband. You know, where everybody dresses up and acts like they are something special. The hostess of the party asked my friends opinion on her dress, some fashion wonder of sorts.
– You really want to know what I think about that? my friend asked. The lady of the house insisted so my friend, as a finn, told what she really thoughed.
– That is the most horrible dress I have ever seen and it looks terrible on you, she answered honestly.
The result was catastrophy. Lady burst into tears, the husband got mad at his rude finnish wife, people were horrifyed how any one can be so rude and unpolite, the party ended right there in scandal etc.
Well, she was not rude. Her honest opinion was asked and she gave it. Finnish way.
LikeLike
lol @ Sam
I went to a couple of those “corporate events” when I worked in LA. I never even tried to get my head around women who verbally admire each others looks but then roll their eyes once they turn around.
Sam & Hannu
You guys should head South, at least in winter… 😉
Just another “comic relief”, a family anecdote. As people mention the supermarket scene as the dramatic highlight of the film, I think all couples from different backgrounds go through tensions of some sort due to their differences.
My parents once got close to the point of breaking up for a little difference, apart from their skin colour. I might as well not be sitting here and typing right now. My grandmother told me this one. In 1960 when Cameroon got independence from France, my gran threw a little party with friends and family. A mixed bunch of mainly French and Cameroonians, and a couple of British and Germans. My parents were there too. My father, who’s British, must have made some snide remarks like “the Western (English speaking) regions should join Nigeria” which annoyed some of the guests. Then my mother’s father, a European Frenchman, must have said something like “yeah as long as they kick the Brits out …”. Then my Cameroonian grandmother went on about Cameroon should go back to Germany. At least there would be discipline. (Btw she was really convinced and kept saying that throughout her life. lol)
Hell broke loose with people shouting at each other etc. It must have been a touchy subject back then. My mother allegedly got really p*ssed off with my father crashing the party with his comments. Like really bad, go back to your rotten island!-bad… My father went squatting in a friend’s flat and they didn’t talk for weeks. lol But eventually, well I’m typing here now….
Even later, whenever there were tensions out of cultural differences it was always based on Brit vs French. I could never vibe any conflict arising from African vs European, or black vs white. It seems that those 35 km between Calais and Dover are deeper than the distance Europe – Central Africa.
LikeLike
@ olufemi 😀
LikeLike
@jorbia:
Sometimes black people get stares because they are still not very frequently seen here (excluding Helsinki). And sometimes Finns think too little of themselves and think that why would somebody from the “big world” come to visit our country?
Anyways, I was dating this finnish biracial woman (Finnish/Nigerian) and when she came to meet me in my small home town not too far from Helsinki, she told me that she did get several stares. But all of them were out of curiosity, not of hostility. Never met any hostility with her, even when we went to a night club in Helsinki with mostly black people. And mostly black MEN, no BW in sight, only blond, Finnish women.
An American BW would be a curiosity here, because most BW here are from Africa (I did go on a date with one -no culture shock)
At the same time, the biracial girl I was dating told me that BW weren’t interested in WM. And that no WM were interested in her -ever! Excluding me (and 1 WM). Strange.
@olufemi & sam:
Well, sam, I suppose it’s time for a road trip down south!
I’m down with down south anyway… 😀
LikeLike
But I’m slightly confused… because I’m really attracted to BW. And the attraction is just getting stronger. What the hell am I gonna do, if I don’t find one within a reasonable distance? Compromise? 😦
LikeLike
Hannu, I really like the way you express your interest in Black women in an OPEN, respectful way. That’s making me a lot more interested in meeting European men.
You can meet lots of BAW online these days at the online dating sights. Some BAW are also travelling abroad to meet European men these days since the word is out that there are nice European men who show their interest openly in Black women. You can also travel to places where there are more BAW. In the meanwhile, start communicating with Black women online and after that, it’s only a matter of time before you meet one you really like. Don’t give up if the first couple of BAW you encounter online are not compatible with you. Just keep trying.
LikeLike
@jorbia
Well, then u really should come to Europe and meet European men! I can’t speak for all Euro-guys, but I suspect BAW would be a big hit here! Mostly because of familiar culture and such…
But honestly, an interracial relationship would be fascinating because of the things she could teach me and the things I could teach her… A win-win situation! (plus gorgeous kids, of course)
LikeLike
@ hannu: I think I’ve done my share of traveling at least for a time being. I mean I did that pretty well way back in the 80’s and 90’s. Now I’m getting older and lazier. besides, I like winter and this country (not the politicians and those guys and few other schmucks who live here) 😀
@jorbia: I looked some net things but could not make any sense of them, except that they seemed to want my money one way or the other. Guess I’m turning uncle scrooge in my older days 😀 and little bit paranoid too 😀
I think I’ll wait the day when I meet someone and if I don’t then… Well, thats life. 😀
LikeLike
How about something old?:
LikeLike
@Herneith
LOL! Normally women who I’m not interested in, are not impervious to bullets! LOLOLOLOLOL!
But hey, she’s not black! Aren’t black women good enough to be outer space monsters?
LikeLike
Not in the fifties they weren’t! However the parallels between how black women are viewed in the States and alien she-monsters, are not that far-fetched. At least according to the many comments about black women in the blogoshpere. It reads like something out of science fiction! As for the woman being impervious to bullets there are millions more she-aliens in the Universe! Many are among us, take your pick! Here’s Captain Kirk caressing his beloved @#$EWQ,(cannot translate into English!):
Here’s a female ‘Predator’ for those men who are masochists! Try french kissing that one!
LikeLike
Hey! I thought Capt. Kirk had a soft spot for Uhura! Mmmmmmm…
LikeLike
Wow! That Predatoress would give some mean he… um helmet!
LikeLike
@ sam–
I looked some net things but could not make any sense of them, except that they seemed to want my money one way or the other. Guess I’m turning uncle scrooge in my older days 😀 and little bit paranoid too
Yes, I’ve heard that some women from certain countries may be a bit desperate about money. I don’t think you’d have that particular issue with BAW though.
@Hannu–
Well, then u really should come to Europe and meet European men! I can’t speak for all Euro-guys, but I suspect BAW would be a big hit here! Mostly because of familiar culture and such…
I do plan to come when I’m finished with grad school.
But honestly, an interracial relationship would be fascinating because of the things she could teach me and the things I could teach her…
Hannu, I think an interracial relationship is a little bit different, but sometimes it depends on your class. Class increases or decreases exposure to many things in the world.
I think this is an interesting topic though. I’m interested in what you could teach a Black woman. What do you think she could teach you? What did you learn from the biracial woman you dated?
When some people think of BAW, they think of the “ghetto” type BAW woman. That type of woman is really in the minority, but she gets ALL of the exposure. No one ever talks about regular, ordinary BAW like me, and there is a wide range of us. I think this is because so many people WANT to think in a negative way about BAW.
Women like me feel ignored and neglected. I would love it if someone would pay attention to us sometimes. 🙂
LikeLike
@jorbia: the black girl I met twenty years ago was in the university so she was not a stereotypical ghetto chick either and she made me fall head over heels. But I met some “ghetto” women too and got along with them just fine. I guess it is how you treat people they treat you and besides, even so called ghetto chicks are not like they are portrayed in the movies and musci videos. At least were not back then. They were smart and funny women and personally I have nothing against that either.
I think it is the media that plays us all with its stereotyping black women, men and even white folks, who are either inbred redneck hicks or uppity type upper class arseholes, racist cops or brave secret agents. The exception on this are of course american italians, who are all in the Mob and dig graves on empty lots all night long.
Japanese are all in suits and tight ass business men who just nod to each other all day long, unless they are ninjas or samurais and chop everybody with their exotic weapons. Japanese women are all of course geishas and live to serve men.
Chinese are of course evil communists and members of triads who sell drugs to those chinese who are junkies in opium dens. Koreans are like that too. Unless they have a shop around the corner. Chinese also like torturing women who like to be badly treated.
Mexicans are all hot headed drug users and dealers and gangbangers, unless tehy have a big ass sombrero and then they are friends with Pancho Villa and Emilano Zapata. They might also be aztecs and practise human sacrifses in their town squares. Some of them are holy priests and monks and speak reason with broken english.
And all mexican women look like Salma Hayek and are either prostitutes, revolutionaires, daughters of billionaires or live in USA. They all are hottter than habaneros and sexier than tortillas. Or then they live in a mud hut and have gazillion kids in dirty rags and their husband is living as an outlaw on the moutains.
Europeans on the whole are cowards and sniveling highly educated white homosexuals who either speak upper class english, with french or german accent. They all loose World War 2 which americans win every time. European women are all pornographic sex starving ice queens who will be liberated by the american secret agent, sexually and otherwise.
Russians are not european but… Eeh… Russians. They all are stout, thick, drink vodka all the time and eat like theres no tomorrow, are hyper emotional and cry a lot, while extremely cruel and violent every last one of them. They laugh and sing and kill everybody all the time.
Russian women are either blond women with big breasts who are basically modest country women just waiting to get their hands on men, particulary that american secret agent. And of course they are brunettes who are six feet four, slim and beautiful and sadists and perverts once they get their hands on the secret american agent. They really don’t want to kill him, they want to have sadomasochistic sex with everybody. And they all work for KGB even if its no more.
At least thats how it is in the media 😀
LikeLike
@Sam
I’m screaming here laughing. Love your sense of humor. This is all SO TRUE!
This is why I never get into any discussions about I.Q.s. It’s obvious that NONE of these “brainiacs” are really smart, except for cunning politicians. 🙂 It’s so easy to use peoples’ stereotypes about others and their bias to manipulate them and control them forever. The crafty politician with a below-average I.Q. does this all the time as long as he or she makes the right noises.
LikeLike
@jorbia
I guess I should’ve talked about culture instead of race. I’m fascinated by BW partly because they, more often that not, present a different culture to me. And I love the variety of the human cultures spread across the globe. Albeit all american, an BAW would be someone from different culture to me. Despite EU, there are a lot of differences even between EUropean countries.
I learned a lot from that bi-racial woman: she told me a lot about racism, how she was bullied as a kid, what was it like to be culturally 100% finn, yet physically different. What it was like for her to marry a black african muslim (somalian) man and having two kids with him. And what Somalian culture was like from her perspective. She also had a lot of friends with IR relationships, mostly finnish women (some who I met) with foreign spouses (Somalians, Turks). Sad to say, none of those relationships seemed happy. I suppose mostly because the men came from more patriarchal countries, quite opposing to the nordic, more equal society. Finnish women are a bit too liberated and headstrong.
It was a real eye-opener. I learnt from her that for example, Africans are very racist towards one and another. Somalians frowned upon Nigerians (her background), so forth and so on. Ad infinitum & nauseaum…
LikeLike
I also heard that some Finnish women wanted “brown” babies.
LikeLike
@Hannu–
Yes, coming from different backgrounds and cultures can be interesting as long as people can relate to each other. Doesn’t sound like you and your biracial girlfriend had a problem relating. Why did you stop dating?
Ideally, I’d love to mingle with men from other backgrounds and cultures who can expand my world in an enriching way. I once dated a Somali man for about 6 months, and I learned a lot from him about his culture and about the world. He loved discussing geo-politics, science, and he loved to go to all kinds of places and do everything. Dating him was an enriching, broadening experience for me.
LikeLike
@jorbia
I didn’t love her. I liked her, but I didn’t love her. It had nothing to do with any of the aforementioned in my previous post. As a personality, she just wasn’t the one for me. I don’t know, I just didn’t fall in love with her.
LikeLike
@ Hannu–
Sometimes, White American guys I know don’t expand my world because I already know a lot about their world since they come from the dominant culture. Middle class and upper middle class Blacks usually already know a lot about the dominant culture because we don’t have a choice. So I may be exotic to a White American guy, but he’s not exactly exotically different to me. I’d describe white American men as fun, “refreshing” and just less stressful to date. 🙂 I’ve found that I can just be myself with them.
Sad to say, none of those relationships seemed happy. I suppose mostly because the men came from more patriarchal countries, quite opposing to the nordic, more equal society. Finnish women are a bit too liberated and headstrong.
I don’t tend to attract patriarchal type men. Just about all the men who are interested in me are equality-oriented. I wonder why some women have a pattern of attracting certain types of men?
It’s so interesting that the men of so many groups think that the women of their group are too liberated and headstrong. or something similar. 🙂 I’m sure you’ve read where BAM say constantly that BAW are too independent and won’t listen them. I read where some White American men complain that White American women are man-hating feminists. 🙂 I’ve also read where some Asian guys were saying that Asian-American women don’t want to be women and won’t listen to them. 🙂
It seems to me sometimes that in order for one gender to be happy, the other gender has to be unhappy. Maybe they should take turns, with the man being happy for 3 months and then it’s the woman’s turn to be happy for the next 3 months. 🙂
LikeLike
Sorry–too many smilies.
LikeLike
@jorbia
I hear ya. The bi-racial woman I was dating was a bit of a conundrum: looking different, yet sharing the same culture. She told me that she liked me because of our similar cultural values, contrary to her ex. We were both first-timers to one another. She had never dated a WM (finn-boy!) and I had never dated a black/bi-racial BW. So we had both plenty of differences and similarities. And we did joke a lot about them, I was her “skinhead” and she was my mmm… use your imagination. We talked a lot about race and racism and both felt very comfortable with it. And in the end, it was about what was inside of us, instead what was outside.
LikeLike
Well, I prefer equal relationship and I love strong women. If she’s strong, it just makes our relationship stronger, no?
LikeLike
Well, I prefer equal relationship and I love strong women. If she’s strong, it just makes our relationship stronger, no?
How about the Astounding She-Monster? She’s strong, impervious to bullets, has a wicked style sense, and will radiate any heifer who comes within ten feet of you! A strong relationship? You had better do as she says or else!
LikeLike
No, I prefer She-Hulk! All green, tall, strong and sexay!!!
LikeLike
Well, I’m not exactly sure of what a strong woman is.
Also, I wouldn’t want that label even if I fit that general definition because that makes me sound like an ox.
I think men and women should be accepted as they are. I wouldn’t want to change a man. He might decide to change himself if he wants, but if I don’t like him as he is, then I can just be with another man. I think men should look at women the same way. I get so tired of people complaining about each other.
LikeLike
@herneith: 😀
LikeLike
Hmm… a strong woman… I don’t expect her to be physically strong, just someone who is able to run her everyday life and doesn’t give up at the first obstacle…
Does that make sense? A normal woman, who’s comfortable with who she is. We all have our weaknesses, but I’m looking for a woman who accepts hers weaknesses and accepts mine and we’re able to talk about these things and are able to support and make one another stronger in a relationship.
Two is stronger than one, what would be the point of a relationship anyway if that wasn’t the case?
LikeLike
@Hannu L–
Hmm… a strong woman… I don’t expect her to be physically strong, just someone who is able to run her everyday life and doesn’t give up at the first obstacle…
Wow! I’ve never met any BAW like that. BAW would never make it through an hour if they gave up at the first obstacle. It’s normal for just about every BAW I’ve ever met to be able to run their everyday life–unless they’re totally down and out with critical problems or disabilities.
Does that make sense? A normal woman, who’s comfortable with who she is. We all have our weaknesses, but I’m looking for a woman who accepts hers weaknesses and accepts mine and we’re able to talk about these things and are able to support and make one another stronger in a relationship.
That makes perfect sense to me. I prefer men who will share their vulnerabilities with me. That endears a man to me. It shows me that he can pull off his mask and trust me with who he really is. In turn, that causes me to trust him more and that’s what promotes emotional intimacy.
Just chatting with you makes me wonder whether your Finnish culture is responsible for your makeup or was it your particular family experiences, life experiences, maturity level, etc. largely responsible for who you are today? What I’m asking is whether most Finnish men are like you or share many of your traits? You seem to be open, sensitive, non-chauvinistic . . . yet masculine at the same time.
LikeLike
I enjoyed this film. Could you possibly do an article on Black women and Hispanic men?
LikeLike
@jorbia
Thanks, you make me feel good…I am actually quite flattered.
The “strength” thing is difficult to describe. Let’s just say that even a strong, positive character can be brought to one’s knees by a decidedly malevolent person. I’ve seen it up close and it ain’t pretty.
As for me…I’m probably a product of all those things you mentioned. Everything is connected. Even though my parents are old and products of a more conservative generation, I always felt they were open-minded and tolerant. I’ve always been fascinated by -geographically or chronologically- distant cultures.
And I’ve always been very open and honest with my feelings (and everything else). The older I get (I’m already 43), the more I realize honesty is the best policy. Hiding my weaknesses doesn’t make them go away. But I show my strengths as well.
I’ve seen enough of serious crap, so I know what it’s like to stand by someone to the bitter end, but I also understand when it’s time to let go. To prevent myself being destroyed as well. Becoming a father, but more significantly, becoming a single father. The hardest, yet the most gratifying position I’ve ever held.
Culture plays it’s part (nordic countries being as equal as countries get), but I’ve heard a lot of deadbeat Finnish dads. But most of my friends are very dedicated and loving fathers. To me, the measure of man is to take care of your child. If you fail to do that, you’re less than a dogs**t in my book.
I think my oldest sister has always been a positive female image in my life: intelligent, independent, educated, sophisticated. Quite the opposite to my other sister…
I know this post is a bit incoherent, but it’s very difficult to explain where you come from without hinting at some very personal history.
People are different and whereas there are many progressive european men, there are many with very patriarchal and degenerate views of society, family and relationship.
LikeLike
Finnish men are also notoriously attracted to alcoholic beverages and prone to violent behavior (because of alcohol, of course). A lot of us a re also very NON-verbal and unable to express their emotions. But then again, there are a lot of decent guys as well. Just keep your BS-radar fully charged with fresh batteries, if you ever reach these distant shores. 🙂
LikeLike
@Hannu L
Well, I’m happy to make you feel good. You are a great ambassador for Finnish men.
Thanks for the lowdown on Finnish men, but I’m going to make it a point to meet some Finnish guys here even if I have to go around knocking on doors. 🙂
LikeLike
“Finnish men are also notoriously attracted to alcoholic beverages and prone to violent behavior (because of alcohol, of course). A lot of us a re also very NON-verbal and unable to express their emotions.”
Hannu! Are you describing Sam here??
LikeLike
@jorbia
You’re welcome! Just make it official, I always wanted to be an ambassador! A nice, guilded plaque will do nicely, thank you! There is a Finnish painter, Jukka Palmu, who’s an honorary ambassador of Haiti, after all.
LikeLike
@King
Yes I am!
Here’s what would happen if me and sam would ever meet:
We would sit on a table, drinking 10 gallons of vodka (each). This subtle introductory phase would take 2-3 hrs and would not include any first names or greetings uttered by our tight lips, because -are we her to get drunk or babble like squaws????
After a while, our not-so-focused eyes would start to wander…and he would say: “WTF are u looking at?” And, according to protocol, I would bash my pint on his skull -and in response, he would -in a lighting-fast mode- pull out his latest Nokia, just in time to update his facebook profile (relaxing with friends)!
With a swift movement, like a serpent in a grass, he would knee me in my most-welcoming groin, which would clinch my torso forward to whip out my laptop just in time to place it on his back just to reply my e-mail about updating my virus-program before…
I would land a vicious uppercut to his chin, which in turn immediately lets his GPS to send a message to his brain where exactly the rest of his body is going to land, and if that area suits his needs of not being able to consume any delicatessen with high-gluteine content, or anything to do with unethically produced rice, wheat or sweet potatoes.
He would then continue his olympic-level gymnastic backflip by grabbing me by my nads -and judging them to be ripe like Rocky Mountain oysters- and me crying in agony “#not to overcook them, with just one garlic clove and some spring onions!”
When we fall flat on our (hungry) stomachs, the SAUNA has been properly heated at 80°C. We both dust ourselves off, take a roll in the snow, kill a bear or two while we’re at it and have them skinned by our subservient slaves from Lapland, before entering the Finnish paradise…
The SAUNA!
LikeLike
Hahaha! I’m beginning to suspect that you Fins only like the SAUNA because it’s the only warm place you can find in Finland!!!
LikeLike
@all: wtf…. Hey, I dont drink at all! True, but hate to say it is not because of any conviction, religion or any other fancy stuff like that. I just don’t like the taste of alcohol. So…
And what comes to violence, I have left that for younger dudes now. I am older gentleman and have no time for violence anymore. That being said, according the statistics 7 out of 10 face injuries in Germany are due to accidents etc. In Finland proximately 7 out of 10 face injuries are due to the violence. I’ve had my share of them in them olden days. Not any more.
Drinking, well. Some 70-80% of ALL crime in Finland is committed while under the influence of alcohol. 😀
And the Sauna. Now, I know that you guys do not know a real sauna since you have not been in one in finnish country side next to a lake. But I tell you one very funny story of finns and saunas:
Namibia was about to get independence and south african soldiers were withdrawing. Finnish UN peacekeepers, soldiers, came to monitor the peace process. Well, the first thing finnish soldiers do anywhere: they build up a sauna. They really do! That is the first building in any base abroad.
Anyway, the blonde finnish soldiers went to sauna, 95 degrees celsius at least inside, and went to swim in local river all sweating and pink. They also tried to ask locals to join in. And what did the locals were thinking?
Lets see, they had endured hundred years of white terror. And now, they were told, these new guys were there to protect them. And the new guys were blond, blue eyed, pale skin, who went to a small hut in which there was even more heat than outdoors, swam butt naked in river full of crocodiles and did say anything to anybody. Yeap. The locals were terrified at first!
True story 😀
LikeLike
@jorbia
Actually, to come to think of it, you gave me some of the highest compliments I have ever received.
I’m just begging you: Finns are just like any other breed of men. Just be careful out there, ok?
🙂
LikeLike
@Hannu L–
Actually, to come to think of it, you gave me some of the highest compliments I have ever received.
Awwww, I meant every word. I don’t know whether you understand this expression, but I can “feel” you.
Oh and yeah, I know how to be careful with guys. Thanks.
LikeLike
When we fall flat on our (hungry) stomachs, the SAUNA has been properly heated at 80°C. We both dust ourselves off, take a roll in the snow, kill a bear or two while we’re at it and have them skinned by our subservient slaves from Lapland, before entering the Finnish paradise…
That sounds like a bodice ripper I read once about Vikings! I see they haven’t changed much! You Finns could give ol Tars Tarkas and Dotar Sojat(aka John Carter), a run for their money:
Finns are just like any other breed of men.
You mean they burp, F*rt and scratch their nuts indiscriminately like all other men? Who’d a thunk!
LikeLike
@herneith: thats right, woman. Besides, when most europeans were church going feodal folks, we were living in savupirtti, a mix between savusauna and pirtti, that is: fusion between smoke sauna and log hut. Smoke killed all the bugs in the cabin, but also gave a nice smoky aroma to its inhabitants, the finns.
Untill 1600’s, according to the swedes, finns rather ate poison mushrooms than drank ale or beer. Mushrooms gave a better buzz for our liking, I guess.
And we were pagans till very late. Karelians retained their pagan ways up till 1300’s, last whitch of Lapland was burned on stake 1680’s and one guy was ticketed in käräjät (court) for witchcraft in 1880’s. Hundred years ago it was no unusual to drink Ukonmalja, sky gods drink, in the midsummer fests.
And we, of course, kept the real father christmas (Joulupukki for real) alive all these long centuries when everybody else was confusing him with that St.Nicolaus guys. Here’s a little taste what the Joulu (christmas for you christians) mean to us heathen finns:
LikeLike
@jorbia
I think I “get” you. 🙂
LikeLike
@Sam: That looks like a good flick. I hope Santa carves them a second one for disturbing his rest! Now, back to the Vikings: Did they look like this?:
Smoke killed all the bugs in the cabin, but also gave a nice smoky aroma to its inhabitants, the finns.
You would think all that cold weather would have enhanced the Finn’s IQ. They should have invented electricity or something. I guess in their case living in cold weather didn’t work! Too much magic mushrooms and Ukonmalja ! How about those Laplanders eh?
LikeLike
Sorry sam, forgot the link, did the Viking men look like this?:
LikeLike
@herneith: 😀 I really doubt they did, at least the finns.
The term viking by the way means searovers and pirates of that time in the north, it did not mean any ethnicity. According to the late estonian president Lennart Meri the so called eastern vikings (varyags) consisted much more finns and estonians than the swedes who have taken the credit for those tours in the east.
Well, the thing is, who needs electricity in these weathers? I mean, if you have a real serious freeze, like minus 40 celsius degrees, all the electronical stuff starts to crack and malfunct. But just throw some more logs into the fire place, light up a candle or two or ten, cook somethin warm by the fire place and you are just fine.
And when your car is frozen solid, just put on your fur hat and decent winter clothes and you can skii tne, twenty miles a day like nothing…
Well, not actually. When I was in the army we stayed out for two weeks in the woods in winter and I have to admit: it was no fun in the tent, and particulary when you felt the call of nature for No2 and it was minus 30C outside the tent.
LikeLike
The term viking by the way means searovers and pirates of that time in the north, it did not mean any ethnicity.
I realize that they were more or less groups of marauders given that name by the people they pillaged from.
And when your car is frozen solid, just put on your fur hat and decent winter clothes and you can skii tne, twenty miles a day like nothing…
I knows that feeling, with the exception of skiing of course, too uncoordinated, forget snow shoes! I am from the Great White North after all!
it was no fun in the tent, and particulary when you felt the call of nature for No2 and it was minus 30C outside the tent.
Can you manage being a female under such circumstances? You just can’t whip it out!
LikeLike
@herneith: 😀 I know! There are women now adays in finnish army and I wonder how the hell they do it. I mean, it is no fun for guys to go on unwashed and dirty (and I mean crusty sticky stuck-on-you dirty) for a week or two in the forests but for a woman… Ok, summertime and you always can take dip in the lakes or such, but in winter???? Yaiks.
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Steph's Blog and commented:
This is a brilliant post.
LikeLike