The thread where you can never be off topic! Well, almost never. The rest of the Comment Policy applies, though.
Please put YouTube links in parentheses like so:
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvlTG4yVByY)
Scroll down a bit to see the links to the archived open threads.
New thread. Thanks
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Who is the lady in the photo of the new Open Thread? I believe it’s the same lady from the Nov 2012-Sep 2013 Open Thread. It’s like I should know her or something. Is she a famous writer or poet?
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yeah new thread with an amazing fro lol
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@ lifelearner
click on the pic and it goes to an article about the woman.
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@ lifelearner: It is Stacie Ann Chin, she is a writer and poet. She is from Jamaica.
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I saw her do some spoken word on PBS, that’s where I saw first. She is a LGBT activist.
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*Cool cool* thanks ladies…off to watch her on youtube
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Sent you an e-mail Abagond. Hit back whenever you feel like.
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had an amazing discussion in the bullpen in family court today in new jersey it was multi cultural and so forth at times it seemed like a david mamet play and it was covering a lot of stuff that came up here alot about boricua and the admixture thereof much like the tainos thread very interesting it was peaceful
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I’d never seen gone with the wind but today I watched about an hour of it and was sick from it. within 10 minutes or less I was smh when the mammy sapphire stereotype was yelling out the window and rollin her neck. I was really done and turned it off when the black males were saying the confederacy needs us so we was gone dig trenches for the south goodbye miss scarlet don’t worry we’ll stop them Yankees. *barf* I was surprised I didn’t see some tap dancing in this film. Yea sure portray the slaves as being happily enslaved and wanting to help their masters keep them. Ugh.
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another person said i’m black today what is it with that i mean again its cool i um tend to agree but … well i have been drinking but that happened
https://www.facebook.com/groups/123505037742352/permalink/519717581454427/?comment_id=519772631448922&offset=0&total_comments=46
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I remember watching GWTW as an adult (22yrs old), and it was pretty uncomfortable to sit through during various scenes of the movie. Did you see the part in the movie where the house slaves/children were fanning Scarlett in the day-room. *Double barf* From watching that film, made me get a better grasp of the romanticizing white folk do regarding “wanting to go back to the good ol’ days”. I bet they do!
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ah jesus i need to see my girl monday it gonna be
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Yay, a new open thread! The old one kept crashing my tablet browser.
Abagond, I came across a painting you might like:

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hi peanut
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hi Peanut 🙂
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@ lifelearner
oh yeah i saw that scene i was like wtf sure have the black children fanning those grown as women taking a nap. smh if anything the kids should’ve been sleeping. surprised they didn’t have them fanning and feeding them grapes.
@ peanut
Hey *waves*
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Sharina-
Instead of attacking something I’ve said you’ve true to attack me personally. That doesn’t fly.
I believe in objective right and wrong. You may not. That’s fine. I believe that those who oppose interracial relationships like the one that created me and the one of me and my girl are wrong. They’re bigoted.
If they aren’t, is it ok to support laws prohibiting interracial couples? That’s a direct attack on personal freedom. It is based on savage notions of racial purity that the vast majority of educated people reject. It is discrimination based on race. Remember when the Louisiana judge wouldn’t marry a black man and white woman? He was blasted (rightfully) all up and down the media.
Also it’s a sissy act to attack me when I can’t fight back, just like this bullying ban to begin with.
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wow this hella weird. its a zombie keep coming back. cut off one head and it grows two more. nothing worse than a regenerating zombie.

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*grabs popcorn* http://i898.photobucket.com/albums/ac187/rhdthree/GIFS/popcornsjpg.gif
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@ TruthabouttheSituation / Asplund
What the fuck are you still doing here? I banned your entitled ass – but, no, your PhD or Choctaw genes or “anti-racism” or some shit gives you the right not to follow the rules like everyone else. How are you NOT a troll?
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omg another kid i think she’s out of the first trimester, should be march? prolly mine.
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that is also helping me try to keep my head out of my ass maybe it won’t get taken from me if it lives and so forth, odds not really worth betting on now but hope do spring eternal
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ah man i just wouldnt feel complete with out the drama i think it is
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To all Americans here….
Yall been noticing a trend “downtrodden white males”? I’m noticing it a lot on the net, tv, and me and my boys were on the train coming from a party, and we here these white dudes talking about how rough it is to be a white male in America. We couldn’t stop laughing.
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This was tweeted by Anonymous earlier. Made me smile.
http://news.infoshop.org/article.php?story=20130924120734910
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Wow@ police protection for neo Nazis. F***ing wild. That’s madness
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Kind of typical.
Here in the UK, when there are fascist marches etc, the cops police the anti-fascist protesters as hard as they do the nazis.
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Somewhere approximating home. Havin fun too finally saw her.
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I came across this article about a black family who were found on the streets of Madison, Wisconsin, huddled under some blankets. There were ten people in the family and they had left the Englewood area of Chicago to escape the out of control gun violence. I would encourage everyone to read it and tell me what you think. I was simply blown away by this:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/family-flees-chicago-violence-567912
This country of ours has failed miserably in so many ways.
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Damn.. Chicago has refugees now.
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Well no one said it was gonna be easy
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Well i thi k my cleay identified transpaarenxy policy as miss mary b called is you could on some level be considered the evil empire my fb friends are not just random you know they pretty much roadworthy but i took a pic tonite and shes mad her grandson only 2 was in it so now despite it all thats a problem well shes in there you know def mh iss cannot relate to the normies myself idk it is like epic me and her shes texting blah blah im leavin the state atm
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That was the other thing i wanted to talk about the pantheon of american heroes and also wat is the diff black lodge white lodge masonic that is also well about it. out.
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@peanut not my first guess
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^ dang don’t do that my eyes just jumped to I got engaged and my heart jumped for a second. but oh the wizard of oz in 3 d idk why they keep putting old movies in 3 d and in blu ray. come up with a sequel to it. I’m excited about finding dory coming out though lol.
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and they should’ve made a new lion king this was my fave scene from lion king 2 I do wonder what happened between kovu and nala http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=deception+disgrace&FORM=VIRE3#view=detail&mid=099EF2224A579DABB781099EF2224A579DABB781
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No… top answer? Uh well it would reveal probably more of my thought process than anything. Make that obviously.
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@ Pamela
That is some bs sure call black ppl refugees they do this every dang time a black family moves away from natural disasters or violence. White ppl move and they don’t get called refugees. To me that is very telling, now I see why ppl question whether we are even citizens in their eyes or if we ever really became citizens after slavery. smh. Anyway i’m glad they got a place to stay for now I hope they can figure it out.
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Oh ok no pregnant it was. And well i didnt have to masturbate today is it worth it? Yes not even close despite it all
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I still did this morning its a guy thing oops tmi puttin my business out there whatevs been tryin get offline here anyway ttys
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At some point tho lettin my ppl no whats up on fb is even a safety feature not the pic i still think its relatively innocuous but these girls the use narcotics drink play with knives etc
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@Mussrand
White males have never been downtrodden in White dominated AmeriKKKlan. This country was built for them and the get privileges over us minorities in this country. I don’t buy any of their complaints that they are being discriminated against. This system was built for them and only them.
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@asplund i think it’s michael silverstein that originally ‘owned’ or was the primary on the twin towers?
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http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/SA-on-terror-alert-20130929
supposedly the mastermind is a white girl, a british subject
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Oh weird. That’s crazy.
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@mstoogood4yall:
Here are two more articles I found on the family in which they are NOT called ‘refugees’. The important thing, imo, is the circumstances this family wound up in and the reason why they had to leave their home in the first place. I see no point in quibbling over terminology.
http://host.madison.com/daily-cardinal/news/city/madison-police-sergeant-recognizes-colleagues-for-compassion-and-empathy/article_01ccc0d2-258f-11e3-97e7-001a4bcf887a.html
http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20130925/englewood/family-fleeing-englewood-found-huddled-under-blankets-wisconsin-report
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So worth watching – for a non-American perspective
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“To a man whose mind is free there is something even more intolerable in the sufferings of animals than in the sufferings of man. For with the latter it is at least admitted that suffering is evil and that the man who causes it is a criminal. But thousands of animals are uselessly butchered every day without a shadow of remorse. If any man were to refer to it, he would be thought ridiculous. And that is the unpardonable crime.” ~Romain Rolland, Nobel Prize 1915
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My apologies, but just because one might think an animal is “soulless” (WHATEVER that might mean), it is NOT a license to mistreat it anymore than one would a human being. Suffice it to say, I know whereof I speak.
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@TruthabouttheSituation
Wake up! I don’t and did not care what you believed, but you tried to claim it as fact. What you believe is not a fact and should not be peddled as such. What they believe is also not a fact and should not be peddled as such. I personally don’t care who a person dates or even marries. To each his own like i said before.
“If they aren’t, is it ok to support laws prohibiting interracial couples? That’s a direct attack on personal freedom. It is based on savage notions of racial purity that the vast majority of educated people reject. It is discrimination based on race. Remember when the Louisiana judge wouldn’t marry a black man and white woman? He was blasted (rightfully) all up and down the media. “—That is great but what part of any of this equals a fact. All I see is an opinion.
“Also it’s a sissy act to attack me when I can’t fight back, just like this bullying ban to begin with.”—I did not attack you when you couldn’t fight back. You were here to my knowledge still trying to tell me your opinion was a fact.
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@ Mary
I know you commented to me on open thread before it changed over and I can’t find it, but I will say that a lot of what Adeen says is true. I believe I am currently in her area and the whites here are just freaking rude. My sister politely said excuse me to a white female yesterday and she just stood there like she did not hear anything. My sister finally pushed pass her in which she responded as if she was the victim.
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To anyone who is interested- I sincerely thought people would be interested in my thought on the history topics, my being an historian.
Did the opposite, ie made me more hated than a racist. Damn.
I’m gonna lay low for a while, if I’m allowed to.
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@ Sharina: Wow. That’s crazy.
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@ Sharina: It sounds like you were having so much fun doing the cultural event you and your family were attending.
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@asplund i don’t feel like playing bookworm right now so i have basically read the topics but not the comments lately, ie tainos and spanish, because my life has been more to the forefront, really, but it’s difficult to take you seriously it seems like you have something to prove that you have a black gf, well i mean every dude at some point questions his … uh… size, but you seem to bring it up inappropriately and that is really not goin well with the female commenters if you didn’t notice, and like somehow you are proving to be a example of some type of thing but i’m losing that one now anyway …
i feel like i chased dave off too
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@ mary burrell
We are. I referred to this place as home on several occasions during our stay. I would love to move here.
@ v8driver
There are two things I think of when I hear penis bragging. 1) it is disrespectful 2) it is a sign of inadequacy.
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ah man i dont want to go back into the porn thread…
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Weird. I don’t think I’ve bragged on my Pernod once in my life except to my partner.
If you look back, you’ll see I sarcastically was like ” I bet I have a small penus too right?” as a dismissal of Internet shaming, not really a discussion of anyone’s penis size.
I just brought up my girlfriend because I accidentally posted in her name. I don’t get where a discussion ofy identity/ life started. I tend to brag as a joke. Maybe somewhere in there.
V8- thanks fir being a relatively warm commenter. This is a cold forum.
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Visiting Jerusalem when I was 17 years old, our church group crossed over into Jordan where we were all baptized in the Jordan River. After my own baptism, I wandered off in the water, took a big gulp of air and taking off my swim cap, I bent forward and dunked my headful of smashed curls into the water. As the river had a strong undertow, I was pulled down into it and landed on my feet on the bottom of the river. I, a non-swimmer with several feet of water over my head, And none of the othersabove the water even knew I was missing as they were all fixated on the baptisms still taking place. Panicking, I tried three times to propel myself to the surface before calmly allowing myself to settle back on the bottom and giving up. . . .
I won’t go into further detail but it is obvious that I am still here today to tell the story. . . .
Anyway, at another point during our stay in Jerusalem, the group took a ride in a sail boat, where later we regaled our Israeli tour guide with an assortment of gospel songs. I don’t recall the actual songs we sang, but every time I listen to the following song, “Peace be Stil” by James Cleveland, I think of sailing and singing on the sea of Galilee.
I am now an “atheist believer” but regardless of labels, I take my inspiration where I find it, and I find the following gospel song to be a powerful expression of faith and / or postive thinking (whichever phrase floats your boat).
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfIjj-wN93Y)
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http://www.nizkor.org/features/fallacies/appeal-to-ridicule.html
maybe?
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@asplund it’s a tough room but people here (not all) will be nice to you if you are nice and try to stop and read back maybe before posting? I usually read my stuff 3-4 times before i click that magical post comment button
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@ Asplund
Here is proof that not only are you a stone cold liar but also a man of little to no integrity:
“Did you know I also live in my mother’s basement and have small penis?”—What you chose to admit to.
“and how could you know if I was “projecting” without seeing my location or my penis size? Do you want to take a peak?”
I don’t consider it a joke and if you regularly joke about this then more proof of your inadequacies. Men who are confident in their junk and in themselves do not brag. They don’t need to joke. It is only thos low confident clowns that see it as a key point to brag about.
Secondly you weren’t internet shamed. You were the one doing the shaming.
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And as a side note…yes I have very low tolerance for whining men.
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Lol @ sharina..
This dude is funnystyle tbh.. his alter ego is a sassy Nigerian woman. Bwahahaha then he says its his girl..who happens to also be a poster named rose? Lol what are the odds of a troll sock puppet having a girlfriend on the same blog who also happens to be a troll sock puppet..
Enough irony to make sharp creases
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Asplund said:
You think? I don’t find that. I find it to be more like a mirror. The perceived intentions and conduct of posters tend to get reflected. There is caution and some suspicion, but IMO it’s mostly justified.
I find this place informative.
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Abagond, just curious about why so many of my posts go into the mod queue? (My last one, for example).
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It took me about 2 years to get to really appreciate and participate fully. A lot of it was unloading trapped psyche issues – here i might add …. if you dont know you can google it – and chilling out to a large degree and dropping a lot of preconceived notions.
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Sharina-
Here is some bragging since you need it:
I gotta take Naija girl to lunch at Red Lobster this afternoon. I’ll be returning to comment this evening, buried in golden brown shrimp and cheddar bay biscuits. Be nice and you can get invited next time.
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Red lobster?
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@Aslpund
That is nothing to brag about, but I tell you what…I will respond at length when I get out of Epcot. Food and wine festival you know. Lol
Ps. You can’t afford me. ROFL
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Dennis White and Cherie Johnson Tell Their Story of Racial Profiling in South Carolina.
http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1041070?ref=email
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What about Arby’s?
I can’t handle Florida. You will have to meet me in Alabama or Cuba one.
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Red Lobster? Couldn’t you do any better? Cheapskate.
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he’s gonna put lipstick on his hand
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There’s always White Castle (the cheapest and tiniest burgers around)! Your stomach will spend the rest of the day – and well into the night – trying to digest them.
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soup kitchen is free! might have to listen to some preachin tho
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Decided to go to Hardee’s instead.
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i used to go to hardees in 5th grade with money from mowing lawns
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it’s not the open thread its open season
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Lol @ White Castle. I like to save money but I’m not drunk enough for that.
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oh you should try it trippin
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on second thought naaaa
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V8-
Ha I don’t know if I could handle that. Might think an onion ring is talking to me lol.
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@mussandrad
LOL! Maybe he is another one of those split personality types.
@ Asplund
You can name what you like but the bottom line is you can’t afford me. Also I have made it clear I am married and the level of disrespect is disgusting. So from this point on I will respond to you on the level of substance that I find from your posts. Blah Blah Blah Brag Brag Brag Blah Blah Blah duh….
@ Everyone
This is the type of individual that TrojanPam has been talking about, but thank goodness some poor sole is already with him.
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you stupid asplund
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Sharina-
You’re only saying that because of your sense of inadequacy.
Asplund nailed it.
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and let me qualify that that lest i get banned for ad hominem you are a liar and rose naija girl you have major discrepancies and it bothers the ish out of me i tire of you nonsense and that is what i mean
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V8-
You sure changed your attitude fast.
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no dude you said you posted by accident as rose and naija girl dude i let you run that line out get it?
you called out
oh ish it’s xprateoris
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Hey Sharina-
I’m trying to remember what we were discussing originally? Was it interracial relationships? There was something I believe I asked about a judge? Where was it? Louisiana?
Didn’t you have some kind of rebuttal about something like that?
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and you brage and you a ashole not reppin white people good dude come on now i be drinkin but damn man you makin me really feel some type of way i dont even want to hear about falconing in the 1500’s from you tu sabes
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V8
Wtf?
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usc my alma mater has this iat not sure how old it is on morals about authority and challenging the status quo it could have more questions and stuff
eh its cool again you know we all cant be geniuses FAIL
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oh ye asplund im proud a what my momma and daddy gave to me and the girls said so FACE PALM
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What?
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@Asplund
Still nailing your head against a wall I see.
“Didn’t you have some kind of rebuttal about something like that?”—I did and I don’t repeat myself. Even for those that have obvious comprehension issues.
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Whatever Sharina. You didn’t reply at all to my argument- you just hurled a bunch of insults at some stranger.
Like it would be some kind of burden to copy and paste if you, and as if you would have let me get away with something you said.
Begone, troll!
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@ Asplund,
Check out this direct quote from a Wikipedia article on historians:
“[…] the various historiographies relevant to a broader interpretive or analytic synthesis[….]”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historian
Doesn’t it sound familiar to you?!
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any questions (asplund excepted)
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I’m not familiar with the quote. What reason are you bringing it up?
I’m nearing my exhaustion point with this forum- soon I fade into the mists of legend. I’m intrigued by your post though. Please continue.
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But all I have to really do is sit here and not say anything because this little debate is won and done. I made rebuttals that you can’t and won’t respond to. I even stated in one such that you would from this point on deflect (bet you on it) and guess what….. You have been doing nothing but that since.
The Louisiana thing is just a deflection.You only real opinion is to back up your claims or concede it as an opinion.
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Sharina-
Edit ” if you had” and ” you wouldn’t let me get away with it if I ignored something you wrote.
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@Asplund
“Like it would be some kind of burden to copy and paste if you, and as if you would have let me get away with something you said. “—No more of a burden than it would be for you to go to the thread it is on.
“Begone, troll!”—ROFL Lame.
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Lol Sharina,
You did it AGAIN!
You are impressive in what you make up. You should just go ahead and start calling me a racist like every one else who can’t argue for &$@$!
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Hey Sharona,
I don’t think I asked to this yet:
Do you think the Louisiana judge who refused to allow an interracial marriage us a bigot? I’d like to hear your thoughts in this.
LOL!
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FWIW,
I’m waiting on Pay it Forward to reply, because I’m very interested in what he’s getting that.
After that its off to the player’s ball.
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@ Asplund,
It was used in another commenter’s argument against you in the thread under Abagond’s post on “The Spanish”. The only thing is it wasn’t attributed to the Wikipedia article it was actually taken from but rather to “a friend” of said commenter.
Ah, well, it’s been said that bad habits are often very hard to break. . . .
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@ Asplund
” You should just go ahead and start calling me a racist like every one else who can’t argue for &$@$!”—I guess you think throwing around opinions and talking about your penis and cheapness equals master arguing. Delusional.
“Do you think the Louisiana judge who refused to allow an interracial marriage us a bigot? I’d like to hear your thoughts in this. “—Something else I responded to and you ran away from.
Because I can tell you are mentally challenged I will atleast point you to the threads they are on so you can see the time stamp for them as well.
My views on relationships between black women and white men
Comment policy
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Pay it Forward,
I appreciate you at least having something to argue based on more than speculation and calling me Eurocentric. I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart. You are the champion of this forum:
However, I could be wrong, but I interpret that quote to mean something different than, “let’s make up whatever suits our racialized agendas and avoid any discussion of sources. After all, we need a new historiography that uplifts our agenda, and we don’t need facts to back it up. When someone who can actually read Latin, Arabic, Spanish, and Old Castillian provides us with primary source material that completely contradicts our positions, we can just tell him that the evil Eurocentric folks brainwashed everyone, or that they burned all the history books up with all the black supermen who created everything. Then when they object to that because it’s an unfalsifiable claim, we can just shout him down calling him a white supremacist and gang up on him.”
There is a more pressing issue though:
Shamira (think I spelled it right):
“Do you think the Louisiana judge who refused to allow an interracial marriage us a bigot? I’d like to hear your thoughts in this. “
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V8-
You have issued my favorite reply- You are my favorite person on this site.
“You make me feel some type a way.”
LOL!
Let me find out.. …Let me find out….
Sharina’s opinion about that judge in Louisiana.
Seriously you seem like a cool guy. Enjoy the rest of your evening.
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Alright now I’m checking out. I guess you can reply (in fact I’m certain everyone will).
Here is my last statement as a poster:
Abagond, “darqbeauty” used a racial slur on the post “Why do whites demonize, fear, and look down on blacks.”
pax
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@ Asplund
Also while everything is getting thrown on the table.
“if dissent change the fact that people who are that clannish are frightened if the competition.”—You made this claim you need to prove it.
“Let me clear up this matter for you with facts rather than a bunch of emotional nonsense.
1. People who are opposed to interracial relationships are bigots.
2. My being opposed to bigotry isn’t a sign of inadequacy. Its a sufn of character. That’s just you using the same kind of bullshit shaming language as your whole “man up” spiel. Did you know I also live in my mother’s basement and have small penis?
You haven’t massacred a damn thing except for any semblance you possessing reason. You accuse me of inadequacy. I demonstrate I’d have no reason to feel inadequate. Yet that is somehow even more of a sign that in inadequate.
Stick to the facts sweetie. You don’t know anything about me.
People who are opposed to interracial relationships are clannish bigots.”—You need to prove this to be a fact.
“ou can walk into any university, government building, and most churches in this country and 99% of the people inside would be horrified at the thought of prohibiting interracial relationships””—You need to provide evidence to this.
Now these are all the claims you made that you need to support with other than your feelings or emotions. No more deflecting. Getting straight to the point.
“Shamira (think I spelled it right”–The mere fact that it is on the screen and you could not says a lot about your inability to read what is said in the first place.
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whoops forgot something:
Sharina:
Do you think the Louisiana judge who refused to allow an interracial marriage is a bigot? I’d like to hear your thoughts on this.
pax (for good this time!)
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@Asplund
“Do you think the Louisiana judge who refused to allow an interracial marriage is a bigot? I’d like to hear your thoughts on this.”—I already responded to this in comment policy. I will not be repeating myself. You can learn to read or just shut up.
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And let me be very clear on something. My opinion of that judge will not make it a fact. Something you still have to prove and have yet to do such.
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ah man i gotta see the breaking bad i cant read that thread now! 😦 i fell a sleep
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So you can either stop deflecting and address those things you claimed as a fact or you can continue to try to hold on to this Louisiana judge and his opinion in hopes of a winning hand. Either way you got nothing
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wow he just dont effin get it ahhh a little help here i cant no type of way make it clearer
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@v8driver
Don’t they play it online sometimes?
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Abagond, I know that you are busy and that many loyal posters have their own requests, however, I would love to see a post on the Moors AND on Dr. Evil…oops, I meant Dr. Marion Sims. *side eye* lol Anyways, yeah, would love to hear your views along with others on these topics. Thanks!
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oh yeah it probably on comcasts on demand but someones watchin the tv now and i am chatting with this nice black/native american girl from indiana now she is cool uhh… but aslund is on some other ish eh?
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@ darqbeauty
Both excellent suggestions! A post on the Moors is already in the works.
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Haven’t seen any discussions about this:
http://nypost.com/2013/09/24/i-wooed-my-man-with-a-sandwich/
Shaking my head at this.
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@ Assplund
The repeated, deliberate, sarcastic misspelling of a lady’s name is the level of discourse you are driven to? What a man.
This blog is not written for white people; its target audience is PoC. Whites are not required. Seriously, white people don’t get the easiest of rides here. The ones who do try to engage in real discussion have to consider their contributions carefully to avoid misunderstanding. You know why? Because most of the white commenters are just racist trolls, actors, liars. Some of them are very eloquent trolls (I don’t mean you), but trolls just the same (now I do mean you).
You fill the place with noise. You are rude. You think it’s all about you. But this isn’t my blog and I’m not its intended audience, so none of that is my concern. What is my business is that clowns like you make it all the harder for the rest of us white people to be accepted as participating guests. There is a lot to be learned here if you can just shut the fck up long enough to read for a while. You won’t agree with it all – I certainly don’t – but it will open your eyes.
Please, stop embarrassing us.
You said something earlier about fading into legend. Well, I’m afraid you’ll never be a legend (*snort*), but the fading away bit… That could work.
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@asplund
V8-
You have issued my favorite reply- You are my favorite person on this site.
“You make me feel some type a way.”
LOL!
Let me find out.. …Let me find out….
i don’t get it i actually talk like this what is it with you that was the nicest thing i could have possibly said and it is certainly not what i was thinking
i give up nm *iggie*
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@asplund one last thing, i must have replied to you 12-15 times, not sure how much made it through the censor but that’s the one thing you picked out that you make me feel some type of way? that is just what did Lucy used to say from peanuts?
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@grin and bear it:
I read the article you posted, but I was already aware of this lady and her quest for an engagement ring by fulfilling her boyfriend’s wish for 300 sandwiches. I don’t have a problem with what she’s doing because that is between the two of them, but at first I did think it was a little strange.
It almost seems like a price tag or a test she has to take in order to be rewarded with the ‘prize’, which is marriage to him. It makes me question his honesty about how he really feels about her: is he serious or is he just playing a game? Men have been known to play games, and I sincerely hope that’s not what’s going on here.
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@Pamela and grin and bear it
I thought it was some joke when I heard about it. I alao would have told him straight “take me as I am or don’t take me at all.”
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http://dailykenn.blogspot.com/2012/05/2-how-many-americans-know-that-first.html
Here’s an article discussing black owned black slaves in early America. It is a topic I had not heard of before. It referrences Dr. Lois Gates in several instances and some of his quotes, if accurate, are remarkable.
Is this material true? Can this be refuted? If it is true, does it change the discussion of race and oppresion in this country (United States)? My point being that, again if true, then slavery was not about mastery of one race over another due to hate and prejudice, but of economics and power of wealth. The claim is made that several former slaves became slave holders themselves in a bid to amass more land and wealth. It is also claimed that many (90%) of black slaves from Africa were in fact already slaves to other black tribes and they were sold to European traders as a commodity.
The article sites sources, but sources can be impugned. This site has many readers with very good research tools. Can someone here take a look at this and maybe do a post on it?
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@Riverside_Rob
I can’t address this at length just yet but from information I have found in the past only about 28% of free slaves ownes slaves and it waa family members or people they were attached to that they brought.
The information of Africans selling their own is old and have been discusses at length. Find the thread that discusses it.
Another note to make is that there was a law back then(one source I found) that stated if a white person wanted you as a slave or to work for them (free or not). They could obtain you as a black and you had little say. So I would not be quick to account it as not dealing with prejudice and regardless it will not excuse slavery no matter the skin color of master.
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Anything beginning with someone’s opinion I generally take with a grain of salt. For starters the 2012 fbi crime stats state the blacks commit 49.3% of murder. Of those that were juvenile 51.5% of them committed violent crimes (which includes more than simply murder).
In the case of Johnson this struck me as odd “but prohibiting them from owning white slaves.” If it was about profit then I don’t understand why owning a white slave would be prohibited. Slaves would profit all the same. Also quoting “In 1657, Johnson’s white neighbor, Edmund Scarborough, forged a letter in which Johnson acknowledged a debt. Johnson did not contest the case. Although Johnson was illiterate and could not have written the letter, the court granted Scarborough 100 acres of Johnson’s land to pay off his “debt”.[5] In this early period, free blacks enjoyed “relative equality” with the white community. Around 20% of free blacks in Virginia at this time owned their own homes, and half of those were married to white women.[22]
By 1665, racism was becoming more common. The Virginia Colony had passed a law in 1662 that children were born with the status of their mother, according to the Roman principle of partus sequitur ventrem; therefore, all children of slave women were born into slavery. This was a reversal of English common law, which held that for English subjects, children took the status of their father. Africans were considered foreigners and not English subjects.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_Johnson_%28American_Colonial%29
Seems to have been left out of an article where he was supposingly telling the truth.
Second source he provides is a youtube. Better and more credible source would have been actual documents or a historical find. I am not seeing where it mentions that the majority of slave owners were members of the mulatto class. http://slaverebellion.org/index.php?page=the-black-slave-owners
There were only 3000 blacks that owned slaves.
Many of the sources he provide do not support what he is saying. He stats black attacks were common but gives a source that is an autobiography of one individual in one area. Half truths don’t make it “THE” truth.
@Others
I often find it funny that some wish to seek the truth when it comes to something of black people but will bury their heads in the sand when seeking the truth of white people. This article(blog opinion piece) that Riverside_Rob solidified the idea of a double standard.
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normally i don’t read riverside_rob’s comments too closely, but it was my impression in the southern us states during the slavery period there would be no free black people. similarly, i don’t understand how a slave could own another slave,
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honestly, i’m not stuck on this idea, i just never heard it before, could such a condition have existed in the border states like kansas or whatever
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@ V8driver
I do believe their were some degree of free blacks, but not to the extent that some people like to peddle it off as. Most of those free blacks were mulatto from my understanding. Some came over free and others were indentured servants who worked off their freedom. There are also cases of master freeing them etc. Once free they could purchase a slave. Usually a relative if they could find them.
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ok
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@ Riverside Rob
Daily Kenn is sometimes right but sometimes misleading. Louisiana, for example, before the Civil War was hardly typical of the South: it followed French law and custom. Google “Creoles abagond” for more.
As Sharina said, many black slave owners, particularly in Virginia, owned their relatives for legal reasons. It was a paper slavery. Even Skip Gates will tell you that.
Africans selling “their own” into slavery has been argued to death here. There is a post on it. See the Broken Records tab at top.
The Cherokee, wanting to be just like white people, owned slaves, so it is not surprising they fought for the South.
That people do not leave the land of their birth hardly proves it was “not so bad”. By that measure lynching and Jim Crow were not so bad.
The number of black slaves owned by blacks was piffling compared to the millions owned by whites. I do not see how that affects reparations substantially. It was not like they owned an equal and opposite number of white slaves so that everything cancels out or something.
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@ Pamela & Grin & Bear It: After the 300th sandwich, then he will come out of the closet.
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A post on Dr. Marion Sims would be good. Evil bastard.
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Since the film “12 Years A Slave” is coming out. A post on Solomon Northrup would be good as well.
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@mary burrell
ROFL
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But Mary you know the thing that bothers me most is the hoops she is willing to jump through for a marriage. It worries me because I see more and more women bending over backwards to obtain marriage. Which in many cases are followed by divorce or years of extreme depression.
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@ Sharina: I agree, something is weird about this. But, then again maybe that’s their thing. If she doesn’t mind being the sandwich maker, I guess I should just let it be that. But something is crazy about that to me.
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Re: Dr.
Marion Simsmore like Dr. Sadomasochist, the statue in Central Park should be taken down, in the same vein as Coach Paterno.LikeLike
@ Sharina: The operative word. The hoops. It does seem kind of desperate.
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@lifelearner: You mean to tell me there is a statue in this monster’s honor? They know what this man did to black women, yet they erect a statue. “Wow”
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When I read about this monster it made me sick. That just goes to show you the depravity in this demon’s soul.
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A statue? Wow, that is sick. Is there one of Mengele too? If not, why not?
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Well to my understanding the statue was erected circa 1800s and the book by Harriet Washington was written in the 2000s, so really most people wouldn’t know the true about this this evil man.
Here’s a link to the statue, http://www.centralparknyc.org/visit/things-to-see/north-end/dr-j-marion-sims.html
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He is regarded as a controversial figure for his experiments on black slave women. I am sure there are lots of white people who don’t believe he committed these atrocities.
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Why would they? We have nuts coming in here trying to say slavery never existed. Nothing surprises me.
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@ Sharina: I certainly thought about that.
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@ Sharina: Or slavery wasn’t that bad. ” You people need to get over something that happened over 400 years ago”
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I haven’t seen this film yet, I hope Abagond will write a review or write about the event,http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/471552/Let-the-Fire-Burn/trailers. Anyone else seen it yet?
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I think people should get over the past. My parents refuse to let the past go and it is eating them alive. They had all leftists for what happened under Mao, and they hate all Japanese for what happened in Nanking. Their own personal lives are not affected by those things. They use them as crutches to vent their frustrations. I’m not saying anyone here is doing that. I know some people do. My parents are good examples of that. I don’t hate any Japanese person. To me that’s counterproductive.
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@Meng Tzu
It is not so much the past as it is what people are doing today. I judge on the individual and not the group as a whole. We have people today arguing that slavery never existed etc. I will go into detail on why I believe why later.
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Regarding blacks owning black slaves, the family angle makes perfect sense – it was the only way to opeate within the system to keep their families together. Good idea and good explanation.
Thanks
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I found this article by Victor Hanson on our President’s tranformation of this country. He describes what occurs on this site, without judgement, and attributes it correctly in my opinion.
http://nationalreview.com/node/359967/print
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That Would surely take some guts to live in a rebel flag state as a free black believing in the power of the pen in light of abductions and stuff
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@Riverside_Rob
Not sure how an article that focuses on Obama describes what occurs on this site.
You still believe everyone on here supports Obama so your opinion would be tainted in the respect.
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Can someone clear this up for me, if one group of people sell another group of people as slaves to a third group, does that absolve the third group of buying the slaves? Or is the third group still held accountable for their actions? I may be wrong, but it seems that the group buying the slaves understands what they are doing and thus should answer for their actions on their own without having to deflect onto a made-up scape goat. Also, I always wonder why people who claim ancestry that is “brave” and “intelligent” would need to excuse their actions if they feel they are so perfect. They should be able to face the fall out of whatever they did they same way they revel in the success.
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@ Anne
So true.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_monism
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White man, slaps crying black infant on a descending plain and refers to the child as the, “N” word.
I read about this, months ago. Just to be clear, the mother of the child was a white woman, that was holding the child, while this 61 year old white man, slapped the child and called the infant, the “N” word.
http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/03/travel/crying-boy-assault/index.html
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And I would have beat the sh*t out of that white man too. Security would be carrying off that plane.
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Sharina:
That is the same thing I was thinking and I wish they would have charged with with some assault for protecting my infant from being attacked by a racist.
This is considered a “hate crime” being he used a racial slur, toward the infant.
Don’t even get me started on white mother of this black child. Didn’t even seem to care that much about a white man, that attacked her child, verbally and physically. It’s to be expected, being white women are passive and timid.
White women, can’t protect black children from their own, racist white men and women.
So yeah, just like you, I would have literally tried to “Kill” this man if he would have put his hands on any child of mine and not to mention, use a racial slur!
Any black person would lose it, if you not only put your hands in their children but call our child a “N” n the process! You’re looking for your life to be snuffed out!
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“Kiwi
@ sondis
I read the comments made by whites on Yahoo News months ago. Many of them were saying that the child deserved it. In fact, they seemed angrier that the white man was being called racist, not that a baby got attacked.”
You will not get a surprised look on my face—> o_o
This is to be expected in a country that despises black people.
We are never innocent, even our INFANT CHILDREN AREN’T INNOCENT IN THE EYES OF WHITE PEOPLE!
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I mentioned this before but I am seeing a string of crazy white people letting loose these days. I am shocked. I have to wonder if it is the idea of them becoming the minority that is making them crazy. I keep praying and praying the ones in my area keeps their senses, but you just never know.
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“sharina
I mentioned this before but I am seeing a string of crazy white people letting loose these days. I am shocked. I have to wonder if it is the idea of them becoming the minority that is making them crazy. I keep praying and praying the ones in my area keeps their senses, but you just never know.”
Sharina, I’ll tell you what i believe, the reason is why white people are seemly more vocal and aggressive towards black people these days, since the civil rights movement.
The instability of the America economy, jobs not being plentiful and available for white folks.
I am not sure if you know but when white people are feeling like they are not getting, what they feel, they’re entitled too as white people, they get angry and take their frustration out on black people, being we are their scapegoat for their problems.
When white people get just a “taste” of what black people go through, our whole lives, they go out of their minds and start lashing out at any and every black person.
when the housing crisis, caused the recession back in 2008, lots of white folks, lost their homes and jobs. White folks never felt anything like this before, unlike black folks that go through these “recessions” our whole life and therefore, we know how to made do with very little, when it comes to food, bills ect.
White people are feeling the heat for the 1st time in a long time, so their first reaction is to go back to blaming and attacking black people,not the white policy makers that have causes this Country to fall, economically.
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@mary burrell, Sharina, and Pamela:
Sandwich guy does look like Queer Eye’s Carson Kressley. LOL. Mostly, though, I think the story is more a publicity stunt than anything else, especially since she works for the Post, which initially carried the story, and she has a food blog.
But it did put me in the mind of the discussion I believe you all had with Sondis about white men actually committing to marriage and family with black women. Sandwich dude has been with this woman for over two years, and is now publicly stringing her along with a proposal in exchange for some “sammiches”. How vile. That there’s a black/white component to this makes it even more eyebrow raising. I say, if he honestly wanted to marry her, he’d marry her. If they’re both in their mid- to late 30s, and have marriage as a goal, why would it take over 3 years plus 300 sandwiches to seal the deal?
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@ sondis
I remember that incident. that fool is saying his son was in the hospital and was having a hard time smh. As if that is supposed to excuse his slapping a baby and using the n word and being drunk. I still don’t know how tsa didn’t catch that he was drunk. The parents smh everytime I see the vid of them saying yeah I hope he’s embarrassed after what he’s done *face palm* really I hope he gets found guilty and gets locked up and has a hard time finding employment. But embarrassed pfft u hope that ur rival is embarrassed or a frienemy is embarrassed but this clown hopes a racist is embarrassed. rofl They don’t know what they doing if that was me i’d have been like here stewardess hold my baby and slapped him see how he likes it. Dang any real parent would go to prison or die for their child, matter of fact my dad would always tell me and my brother that if anybody hurt us he going to prison. lol
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the sandwich couple smh. Who wants to eat sandwiches that dam much. the guy does not look like he’s into her but is more into sandwiches and other men.
Rofl grin and bear it u right he do look like carson. I think it is just craziness, she needs to stop making sandwiches for him go sell some sandwiches woman. What’s next is she gonna propose to him if he doesn’t. somebodies desperate. when I saw them I thought they were friends or he was her gusband. a. gusband is a gay male that a woman spends so much time with and they know so much about each other and love each other just not in a relationship way and the woman secretly wishes that he was her man. that is what this seems like to me, this reminds me of Charles from sweetie pies. how can these women not tell or are they just desperate or want to see what they want to. smh.
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he kinda look like the prince from shrek rofl http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100523191408/shrek/images/archive/7/70/20100523191709!Prince_Charming.jpg
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Then there was the two year old in a Georgia Walmart, same thing. The young mother was shopping with her toddler, and an angry white man told her to shut the kid up, or he would do it for her. The mother was frightened, and tried to move to another aisle of the supermarket. He followed her and slapped her toddler. He was arrested and is now in prison, for assaulting the young child. Even children are not safe from these demons.
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This assault on the two year old in walmart happened in September 2009. In Stone Mountain Georgia.
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@Mary Burrell
I told you I was right about White people. We really need to start loving ourselves, separate from these White devils and rely on ourselves economically. I am sick of living among them and being around them. Them and their depraved ways make me sick. I don’t see why they hate yet are obsessed with us.
Remember that one incident when that Black woman shot her gun in the air because her husband or boyfriend was abusing her. She went to jail for twenty years because of self defense. She even tried using the Stand Your Ground for her case but it didn’t work. And it was here in Florida(I live in Florida) too. SMH, I believe that Stand Your Ground law is what angry, White males or racist Whitewashed non Black minorities like George Zimmerman use when they kill a Black person with impunity.
I maybe be in my late teens but I am getting so sick of White people these days!
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mstoogood4yall:
Yeah, i hope he gets jail time but i doubt it. White folks are not punished, when they harm black people.
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Adeen:
http://tv.msnbc.com/2013/09/26/marissa-alexander-will-get-a-new-trial
Thank god! she has another chance at freedom!
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mary burrell:
I’m not surprised by that walmart incident, white people do not like black children.
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@Sondis
And when I read that link, I was glad she had another chance at freedom too. I really think these people are sick. They will always try to harm us with impunity luckily we are a strong and beautiful race and we can get through this together.
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@mstoogood4yall
Lol at the term “gusband”! I learn something new from you young people all the time. I hadnever heard of that term before I think it’s rather fitting for this woman and her “man”. In the picture that I saw of the sandwich maker and her “man” he looked a little sweet for my taste. But that’s just me. I have to agree with Sharina. It does seem like a lot women are jumping through hoops to get men to marry them. I thought I read somewhere that she and he have been dating (living together perhaps?) for three years. I’m pretty sure that a man should know after three years whether or not he wants to commit to marriage with a particular woman. Wth does she have to make you 300 sandwiches for you to commit to marrying her?! After three years together (iirc), shouldn’t he have sampled her cooking by now? I hope and pray this is a publicity stunt like someone said.
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http://kennsvideos.blogspot.com/2013/10/black-man-gets-job-doesnt-let-race.html
This story is about a young man that amaze and inspire you – not matter who you are. Human spirit triumphs.
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…that will amaze and inspire…
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@Riverside_Rob
It’s called being inspired or rather driven. Happens more than you give credit to (not saying it to be bitchy but saying it to be honest).
Check out:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newsvideo/weirdnewsvideo/8571086/Man-with-no-limbs-attempts-ocean-swim.html
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@ sondis
I am “White” and I like “Black” children just as much as those of any other group… I might even be predisposed to like them a little bit more because I sort of feel frustrated on their behalf. However, it depends on the child – brats come in all colors 🙂
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right. I _was_ going to let that one go but kids are way cooler than adults when it comes to the pre-conceived notion department, in general
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But i also agree if someone smacked my kid it would be some fresh assault charges.
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@ Paige
“brats come in all colors”—That is very true, but in this mans case he really just went too far.
@v8driver
“But i also agree if someone smacked my kid it would be some fresh assault charges.”–Agreed
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I am most distressed over the issue of mental health that is happening in the African American community. Aaron Alexis who is now dead, now the latest is the young woman in D.C. who had mental health issues. She was shot and killed at the nation’s capital. Our community needs to address these issues where mental health is concerned. I am sadden for her death and even sadder her young child is without a mother.
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I agree 100% mh is not taken seriously at all. Also the driver was on antidepressants and antipsychotics as was the actor in almost every extremely violent pyschotic episode lately it seems.
On a lighter note, big date tonite a real nice person im nervous as all getout
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v8driver: Agree with your comment. Good luck on your date tonight.
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I don’t think the law officers should have just killed her like that. They could have shot the tires out. I am so tired of black people being shot like animals.
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@ Sharina
I wasn’t condoning his actions, I was responding to a statement by Sondis about how White people supposedly don’t care about Black children. He didn’t specify whether he meant most, some, or all White people, so I wanted him to know that at least some, if not most, White people do care about Black kids.
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@Paige
I did not mean it to sound as if I felt you were condoning his actions. It was more of a I agree, but he made me mad azz hell kinda thing.
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@Paige: I believe these are just evil and hateful people. This does not apply to all white people. The one’s that perpetrated this violence on these kids are horrible people.
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@ mary
I saw the article about the black woman suffering from post partum depression when she did. It is just sad all around the child lost her mother, the cops shouldn’t have shot to kill, they could’ve tazed her and dragged her out the car. I’m glad the girl is safe and I wonder who will raise her now. Sometimes people are ignorant about mental illness some ppl think going to a therapist or getting help is a sign of weakness. People just stigmatize things so much that ppl are ashamed to get help and others knowing and treating them differently. Then some parents think it is something they’ve done that caused their child to be that way. It definitely needs to be a discussion about mental illness
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@ mstoogood4yall: Everything you said was true. This was so sad on so many levels.
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@ sharina & mary
I know, some people have really sick ways of thinking. I can’t imagine slapping a child and insulting his whole culture in one fell swoop.
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@ mary burrell
It would be good, sure.
When you said there was a monument to him, Abagond was surprised
(“A statue? Wow, that is sick. Is there one of Mengele too? If not, why not?”).
The subject of Marion Sims was suggested at least once before, and I recall the statue (on Park Avenue, New York, if memory serves?) was mentioned…
I don’t think I have ever seen an article gynaecology anywhere lately (lol).
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On this week’s episode of “white privilege”
Remember the 18 year old white blonde teenager that was in a sexual relationship with a 14 year old black girl? Well, after refusing 3 plea deals from a “white judge”. She “agreed” to a deal that will not have her to not only registered as a sex offender for the rest if her life, she also will not have a felony on her record! How that for white privilege?
Must be grand to be white in America!!!!!!!
(http://youtu.be/uLPkmotxa_0)
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@Bulanik: Hello, good to see you.
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@sondis: Hello how are you sir?
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@mary burrell. Hello, I have a little time to myself, so dropped by 😀
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Mary Burrell:
I’m alright on this fine weekend! Thanks for asking. ^_^
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Those cops, murdered that black woman in DC and didn’t even know her baby was in the back seat, they could have easily killed the child with their reckless shooting at a mother, scared to death of all those white police officers, pointing their guns at her while screaming and shouting. Any mother would panic and drive off, being she had a child in the back seat, thinking thy would kill her baby and her!
White cops show no kind of restraint, when it comes to black suspects.
I am 100% positive that if this was a white mother with her white baby in the back seat, they would have did everything in their power to preserve her life but the fact that this woman was black, it was shoot first and ask questions later and shoot to kill at that!
They could have surrounded her car with police cars, there were enough of them, Jesus!
These white police depts all over America always have an excuse for why they kill black people, so I’m nit buying their version of justification.
Watch the video below of the white 18 year old teenager that not only swings at a police officer, he pulls a gun from one of the 9 police officers that were trying to “subdue” him( something that never happens to a black person, we are beaten into submission ) when he pulls the gun, he actually fire off a shot into the wall and lives to tell about it!
These cops didn’t harm one hair on his chiny chin chin! Proof that white police officers will make it a point to never kill a white person, even if the white police officers life is in danger!!!!
Do I have to ask any black people on this blog, what would have happened if this 18 year old was a black teenage boy? I digress…..
(http://youtu.be/LHuOOqSP2iM)
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(http://youtu.be/tPkTjLPGDok)
Sister of slain black woman in DC, speaks out!
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(http://youtu.be/HAYuOzfdTKc)
(http://youtu.be/uNcyP3PvaC0)
More….
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yea, bs they didn’t know she had a kid in the car.
she was up against the barriers and totally hemmed in, it is to some degree a race issue but the police state has gone way too far in terms of deadly force, patrolmen haveing submachine guns in their trunk, etc. it is a cold and callous disregard for the american people in general.
i mean do we have to see police at every sporting event, walkin around lookin like general rommel, it is just freakin ridiculous, call this a free county my ass.
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@miss mary b thanks, it was fun, we went bowling
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@Sondis
How are you? Yes I did hear about that incident where this 18 year old White girl was having an lesbian affair with a 14 year old Black girl. Of course, she would get off free, she is White. According to White AmeriKKKKlan, White is right and Black is bad.
These people always prove me right about them, I swear!
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It was mentioned by a commenter in the “ANT: Abagond New Testament” hread that there is archaeological evidence for the tomb of Christ.
Actually, there are two sites which are claimed as the site of the entombment of Jesus Christ: I just so happened to have visited both (I’ve just recently mentioned that I traveled to Israel as a teen in a comment concerning my baptism).
Below is a pic of the “garden tomb” — the one which comes closest to fitting the NT description.
Nearby the tomb is what’s claimed to be Golgotha (“skull”), the top of which is mentioned in the NT as being the site of the Crucifixion.. As I recall, it does sort of resemble the face of a skull when its viewed from a particular angle.
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Continued …
The second site, sometimes referred to as the “traditional” site of the tomb of Christ, is located inside a church, the building of which was commissioned by the mother of Emperor Constantine.
With regards to the tomb, all I recall seeing was an ornately decorated area with a circular impression in the floor — said impression supposedly being the spot where the tomb had been located.
The reason (which I’m just now learning) for there not being anything of the tomb to see is due to the original edifice, along with the tomb contained within, having been destroyed centuries ago by the Persians, as is mentioned in the following link.
http://community.beliefnet.com/cauleys/blog/2011/05/04/universal_life_church_-_crucifixion_site__tomb_of_jesus_christ
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http://www.ladailypost.com/content/brief-history-psychotropic-drugs-prescribed-mass-murderers
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@ sondis
The police could’ve handled that situation a whole lot better, they could’ve deployed spike strips and did a pit maneuver. Her daughter is in foster care I hope her family can get her. It makes me sick that they are praising the cops for this, yeah congrats on killing an unarmed woman when yall same mofos would’ve been more patient had that woman been white. No way they’d shoot with a white child in the car and u see the bs they take armed killers like james holmes, the boston bomber, the fort hood shooter, they all armed and killed ppl get taken into custody alive, but an unarmed woman is dead and they pat each other on the back. Cowards.
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oh and the way they acted like heroes “rescuing” her daughter from the car after they shot and killed her. smh yeah go “rescue” the girl who was in the car u were just shooting at and who no longer has a mother. I just pray that girl gets back to her family cuz lord knows they love putting kids in foster care for longer than necessary even when they have capable family right there. I don’t know about the father of the child all I know is he in his 50’s if he is good then I hope he gets custody if not I hope the grandmother and aunts can help raise her.
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ugh that white woman needs to be registered if she was a male of any race she would be in deeper than this. And the way they act as if the girl isn’t a victim smh is so disgusting. Her face and name are out there so hopefully people keep their kids away from her especially black kids and kids of color as we know they are not protected.
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@mstoogood
I think Obama was hitting that tbh… He silenced her before Michelle found out
That theory makes way more sense than the official story
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^ sure…. and why didn’t they silence his alleged gay lover too. I don’t think o was messing with that woman especially since the media is always up his arse.
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Abagond.. I was wondering if you would do a story on the unarmed black woman killed by capitol police in front of her baby.. Miriam Carey. (Her race shouldn’t matter, but I know it does to you and some of your readers) You can’t believe the official story on this. Do some research on independent media.
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@ Dave
I will look into Miriam Carey. Might do a post on her, depending on what I find out. Thanks.
@ Peanut
I will definitely do a post on Solomon Northup. Thanks. I hope to get it up before October 18th when “12 Years a Slave” opens. I might do a post on the film too.
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I just having one of those blue days. I really do miss my drums, dancing in the rain, writing like a mad man, Singing into the wind, flirting just for the fun of it. No, all those things seem to have been put into a cage. Old me and new me just stare and rage. Having to be aquatic in surface but turbulent under. I need a long walk but it just doesn’t look as if those shoes fit anymore. So I guess it is confront the dark cellars and focus. There is something I miss but I have yet to find out what it truly is. I hope everyone else is on a more lighted path and the sun is shining, and life is singing sweetly to you. Good Night.
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i miss my guitars man
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whistle…………..
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(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiW0Xr8dNr0)
KOT , sorry you miss your drums ( and your guitars, V8)…here is my New York City , Manhattan gig , I did in June , where Im playing some drums , with some great Afro diasporic grooves, Samba, and Candomble…on the cut , Juju , by Wayne Shorter, my son is playing some new beats he picked up from Candomble , from Salvador , Bahia…yeah, my son is very connected to Afro diasporic culture ..that is a mean pandeiro he is playing on the samba, also
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(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiW0Xr8dNr0)
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@ BR
Very cool video! The lad with the yellow tee and the vest is your son?
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Rick…yes , he is my son…thanks
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@B.R.
Nice! Always pictured your son as quite younger.
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Thanks, Sharina…he is actualy 25…the truth is..he really helps to take care of me…Im very lucky, because he isnt doing the long distance love thing…he really is helping take care of me in my old age..and i need it…i cant carry drums anymore, i dont have a back
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@ BR
You’re very lucky to play together! Both my daughters play instruments, but we live too far apart to jam. I’d love to get to make music with my kids.
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Rick, his mother is the samba dancer , it is a dream to work together , but , its really tough out there to get work, you have to be a guerrilha warrior on the underbelly of the business to make things happen…we do get around , though
Legion, good to see you back, and, that nothing took you permanently away
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Nice video BR! Love the music too!
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B.R
The O H (Other Half) loves this – big up to you man. It being a family affair too. Good stuff. Can you recommend any artistes in this genre of music?
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@Dave
Why are you concerned about an unarmed Black woman getting murdered by White policemen?
I know I am because I feel unsafe whenever I walk out the door of my home. This country is not safe for Blacks like me at all. What if I get shot by the police for doing nothing but being in the wrong place at the wrong time and we both know these White policemen don’t value the life of Black people.
I call America AmeriKKKlan for a reason!
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(http://www.youtube.com/user/91849/videos?view=0&shelf_index=0&sort=dd)
I apreciete it , Kwamla ( I will never fail to admit, Ive learned great things on here from you, Kwamla, no matter what are debating positions) and Omnipresent
Omnipresent , my youtube channal, above, is stocked with great artists from this kind of style, its above,if wordpress can show it correctly, I have trouble with them sometimes
Elza Soares is always a great inspiration for us in terms of Afro Brazilian energy and expresion…Wayne shorter in the Miles Davis period is another great influence…my son lays down a great hip hop and James Brown dance ethic also
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(http://www.youtube.com/user/91849/videos?view=0&shelf_index=0&sort=dd)
thanks, Kwamla and Omnipresent (my youtube channal is above with more artists in this vein)
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some comments in moderation…thanks Kwamla and Omnipresent (Im trying to get my youtube channal up here to you for more artists)
Legion..sure, its fine with me if you contact me through Abagond
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(http://www.youtube.com/user/91849/videos?view=0&shelf_index=0&sort=dd)
omnipresent, there are similar artists here
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Thanks BR but it is hard to get a taiko here and the wine barrel ones will take some work before I even start. Now there is a stress reliever going out into the park and just pounding out the beats. (Thank you for the video) .
I was a little sad because even though I thought that Kool-Aid volcanos would be fun to teach the kids, I ran right into red tape. Food Security issues plus my Director doesn’t think it is appropriate for 19 months. Which I feel like science and the observation of science is good at any age as long as there are adult controls on it.
I did get some bell xylophones and chromaharp to let them experience music. I am working on some snare drums, and making maracas, and other percussion and noise makers. I swear all these laws can drive an educator crazy.
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@ Kiwi
I will look into them. Thanks.
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Watching the new south park. Wow. Its over the top. ‘World war zimmerman.’
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in todays edition of racism(white supremacy) is global http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1806683-gymnast-simone-biles-parents-speak-out-about-carlotta-ferlitos-racist-remark
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Typical…
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i just feel like psychilly connected to sw philly too like when one does well so does the other its hard to explain like i left and did good and came back and shit was better and last winter when i was getting all f’ed up my friends were too it’s wierd
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good story about a negative being turned into a positive
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/lifestyle/2013/10/red-lobster-waitress-gets-10k-tip-after-racist-receipt/?date50003500050003
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is the willie lynch letter a legit historical document? it seems to have some anachronisms in it like ‘balls floating in a vacuum’ 1712? really? but if you look at mlk/malcom x from this context it explains a lot
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@ mstoogood4yall: I read about that. I am glad that happened for that young sister.
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@v8driver: I heard the Willie Lynch letter was a hoax.
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i think so
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it seems like that protocols of zion thing
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@v8driver: I think you are correct.
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Legion, I got the messege today, thanks , Abagond , ill look it up, its hard for me to get books without a card…thanks
I do a 25 minute workout I learned a long time ago from a great dancer at her class…700 stomach crunches with yoga poses after that , and stretch…if I do any physical exercise that is new or a little strenuous, I may even get good results, but , inevitably, a crisis comes in
Ill check it out
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ha, the ones who serve ayauhasca? the guilt drug? Everyone i tlked to who uses it , felt guilty and vomited….Ill think Ill pass on that
Actualy maybe faith healers are differant…someone reccomended bee stings…i passed on that also…
Everyday is a matter of taking responsibilty for y back, try to deal with crisis when they come, and try to stay active, especialy playing drums and being able to walk…if any thing messes with being able to walk to the store, it isnt good,,
Amazon accepts checks? I dont have a credit card
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B.R., amazon will take your bank acct for pymt. You will hv to provide yr acct & route #s when u set-up an acct.
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v8driver,
The many anachronisms are basically what gives away the so-called “Willie Lynch” letter as being a hoax those plus the fact that it cab’t seem to be traced beyond its pooping up suddenly on the internet sometime back in the 90s.
I remember reading about on some forum or other and doing a search on it. Man was I disappointed. since, to me, there is absolutely not profound about it. When you stop and think about this “Willie'” person’s instructions to the slaveholders, after supposedly being paid by them to hear him speak, its all just plain and simple common sense.
If any of that did actually take place, though, the slaveholders should definitely have demanded their money back.
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lol *pooping up*
My apologies for the many typos.
One day I’ll learn to proofread my comments before posting them.
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thanks for the info, Temple
Legion, I have arthiritic discs, they say there is no cure, just pain management…I apreciete your advice, and in my slow way, since ive been looking for help for decades , and sort have whittled it down to a program best for me ,ill look into this valuable info …i sleep on the floor in hotel rooms, carry a weight belt and an assortmant of rubber balls to massage my back on the wall, among other things
Peanut…you can do it if you want to…family can be with you on your journies, in your heart, and all the modern ways to be in touch…look in your heart, and if Salvador is the place for your soul, you should at least think of giving it a short commitment…you have to change your visa every six months anyway if you dont have a residend visa
I met a beatiful black female piano player from the States, in Salvador, last time I was through, and she said she was thinking of living there , and I thought about you…I dont know if she ever made the commitment
I hope you do, you will never look back…I think
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what i been sayin on my fb of late is you think things are bad now wait till ssdi get cut off
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dear mr. president…
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it’s odd that the government’s ‘best efforts’ and ‘good intentions’ is gonna enable and invoke the very thing it’s there to prevent, limagein that
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(http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=G4exZ-jXgWE#t=573)
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Lets see Legion and the rest of the whites defend these pigs like they always do.
Lets see the crime statistics meme.
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“Average Bee
Lets see Legion and the rest of the whites defend these pigs like they always do.
Lets see the crime statistics meme.”
You better believe its coming….
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(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nisr8DHzuTU)
I’m not sure if it was disabled, but this goes with the above post.
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dope speech given by marc lamont hill at the nj naacp:
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFZlBfaHxZc )
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where was that in Philly.
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Thanks, Legion, it will take a minute for me to do it..can you tell me about your Brazil trip?
D, thanks for being willing to disscuss it here
Im hoping you can look at the tap clip and respond to my points without me having to cut and paste it here…and my points how valuable tap is, like seeing parralel Afro disporia cultures like I showed in Brazil, and that putting down Armstrong was real and was covered in the Ken Burns docu, it wasntt about just changing, there was a politicl agenda that destróyed black culture, TAP hás never recovered
And this all ties in with the political agenda against interracial sex
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Hi all,
Alvin Hall has made an interesting documentary for BBC Radio about the African American music industry from its beginnings up the present day. It focuses on the business aspects – who influenced and controlled things etc.
I know some people have trouble accessing BBC on-demand services outside the UK, so I’ve uploaded the first two episodes to Soundcloud in case they’re of interest.
Here are links.
Part one: http://snd.sc/1ghztJ2
Part two: http://snd.sc/1buJvk3
I’ll try to get the third part up when it’s broadcast.
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@ Rick
Awesome! Thanks!
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You’re welcome.
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@B. R.
No Problem!
I’m surprised at the similarities between tap dancing Brazilian folk dancing, but I suppose I shouldn’t be. Just to clarify things: there is nothing wrong with tap dancing in and of itself, but you can’t understand Afro Americans without understanding Euro Americans. Whites in the late 19th and early 20th century enjoyed minstrel shows which often featured infantilized, tap dancing, Black caricatures. As such, a lot of the Afro American intelligentsia didn’t want to be associated with tap dance, however great its artistic worth. It’s for much the same reason that some people don’t want to be associated with Hip Hop and the intertwined Black Hyper Sexual and Brute stereotypes. Both Minstrel shows and Hip Hop offer a Theme Park version of Black culture that is made palpable to the White public who are, for the most part, willfully ignorant of the mechanisms of White Supremacy and the true depths of who we are.
So, there is this recurring cycle in the Afro-American arts of creation, mockery, maturation, appropriation, abandonment, and recycling. The cycle is spurred on by a refusal to be confined to the boundaries and unthinking assumptions that White Americans place us in.
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Well, D, its the white people who should be criticised , not the art of tap dancing and the artists
I need to verify, but I dont think tap dancing was initialy in minstrel shows, it would be more buck dancing a predesesor of tap dancing and the “cake walk”, which became an international dance craze , and , the whites didnt know it but the slaves (it was invented in slave times, but hit international popularity in the 1890’s) that the slaves were mocking the owners
I have to disagree about hip hop, it entered the world as a beat and a marvelous dance, the music industry manipulated it into your description, break dance and the beats of hip hop should have major respect, and it is also a world wide dance craze…
why crucify tap because of minstrel shows ( I disagree that was the real reason tap was regulated to shucking and jiving, minstrel shows had been gone a while when that agenda hit,,,it was mostly because of a weekly tv show called “The Lawrence Welk show” who had a very stiff guy trying to keep his job, who would come tapping) or hip hop dance and beats because of a media manipulation?
Why is the art, culture and the artists (the breakdancers in hip hop) the one to get crucified
Yes, the reaccurring cycles, that the black artists had nothing to do with…they were great artists innovating Afro diasporic cultures…we are supposed to focus on the white racism and celibrate the artists, and the culture..
gosh, the culture and art are the treasures, they hold secrets to pride self esteem, histories of the past
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“had nothing to do with” meaning the artists had nothing to do with the demeaning parts, from the music business and the cyclles that came with the mockery…we should condemn the mockerers, and try to rescue the memory of wonderful talented people who are getting the shaft…they got it back then too, which tap dancers really made the most money?The black dancers or white dancers…and then we double shafted them with an agenda calling them shucking and jiving
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When I see that tap clip I brought in, I am so humbled by their talent and abilities..its funny I have a deep pride about them…I mean that may not be the right word, but I am white and i feel a pride in them and how lucky I am to understand their talent..maybe im proud they gave us so much
I cant tell you how much I was blown away by seeing the coco group and their dancers who are parralel to tap…as a person who loves tap ( I even do tap exercises to help my feet on the pedals)…I actualy made contact with them , have co produced their second CD, and was invited in august to a coco festival in their home in Arcoverde. The male dancer is the son of the singer, who i talk to about co ordinating business when I do things with them…he is new, I hadnt seen him dance before, when I found out he was learning drums and had a kit but some peices missing, I went and paid for the rest of his drum kit and sent it up to him…to be tapping like that with his feet and he is trying to play drums, I just had to buy the rest of his kit…he deserves it
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@B. R.
Very true, but we can’t help ourselves. I just realized that this is the curse of Double Consciousness.
“It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity.” – Du Bois
We have internalized what some call “The White Gaze”. We’re never satisfied with who we are so we reinvent ourselves every generation or two. So, the cycle will go on until White Supremacy is dead.
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@ rick
Thanks for posting the radio interviews very eye opening. the music sounds so beautiful I wish I could bring that music to the future lol.
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Nothing as eye-catching as a nice butt in a neon yellow cat suit!(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gAME56uXWo)
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Sure , D, and reinventing, innovating and improvising have always been high level charactoristics of the Afro diasporic cultues, the world is blessed to have those cultures existing and bringing there deep knowledge
yeah, Buddhhu, great info…Armstrong got banned from the Miami hotel, and was the vocal influence for Crosby, Sinatra , and most jazz singers after him
is there any business besides the police department that is a window into the nasty white racist methods and disrespect to black Americans? the same game goes down in Brazil, too…maybe worse
Quite a few of the black people who did travel in the south, were the jazz bands…they knew about the discrimination in hotels and eating places as much as anyone
Archie Schepp heh heh
just to add to the jazz story, Jim Crow threw blues musicians together with classicly trained musicians that contributed to the richness of blues and sophisticated harmony , in New Orleans
The first jazz record was recorded by white musicians , and they said black people didnt have anything to do with jazz
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@ mstoogood4yall
That’s what I call quality programming. Well made, absorbing and very informative. Mr Hall has done a great job. I can’t wait for part three.
Elvis really fcked up ‘Hound Dog’, didn’t he? Big Mama’s version beats the living crap out of his. I’d never heard that before.
I was also impressed by the Langston Hughes poem. I looked up the whole piece.
White people stole plenty of the music, but we were certainly slow enough to pay fairly for it, and to give appropriate credit to the originators. James Brown was one of the first guys to really take control. He must have been a workaholic.
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So, just heard a black American say that racism is part of American culture but was not sure if it should be changed because every culture has some form of a caste system. Can someone help me with understanding what that means? I would imagine that this person would want it changed and not want to excuse it.
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@ rick
Such a beautiful poem Langston Hughes summed it up nicely. The hound dog by big mama sounds wonderful i’d never really heard it but I did find it odd when I heard elvis’s version that he was saying hound dog and I was thinking hmm isn’t that how a woman would describe an unfaithful or no good guy, it is weird a man is singing it. Now I know why. I didn’t know all that about james brown but that is really inspiring. It does suk that the real artists didn’t get the real credit they deserved but the copy cats got all the credit. It kinda reminds me of how younger kids think certain songs these “artists” nowadays use are theirs when really it was an older real artist that did the song and did it way better.
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@ Anne
that is interesting, well a caste system is defined as a division of society based on differences of wealth, inherited rank or privilege, profession, occupation, or race.
my take on it is yes a lot of cultures do have a caste system but that does not excuse it or mean we can’t fight against it and should accept it. ppl can change their wealth to get to a higher rank, ppl can change professions to get to a higher rank but u can’t change race to get to a higher rank, even if u become a wealthy u are still lower rank race wise. and imo that trumps everything at least here anyway, as when we fill out forms there are more forms asking what race u are than there are ones asking what ur income is and who ur relatives are.
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and when counting privileges we are low on the rank as well, inherited rank we are low again as wealth and inherited rank are sometimes connected because they are passed down by parents.
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Mstoogood,
Yes, that is what I am confused about. Why would a black American want to excuse something so wrong?
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i had some type of thought today but i forgot it excepting the government is sort of getting the credit limit increase?
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@ Legion
If someone looks good, and it’s not intrusive to do it, then what’s wrong with letting them know they look nice and then leaving them be?!
Many of those reactions to that lady were uncalled-for. But it tells you a lot, doesn’t it…
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@ Anne
I can’t speak for that person’s reason for saying that but I think they either meant everybody else has issues so I might as well get over it and accept it as normal trying to downplay it, or they are confused and think racism is the same as the other things that make up the caste system. I can’t speak for all black americans but we do have some that try not to look at racism and the history and don’t like to get to the nitty gritty and see that yes racism is part of the caste system but it is the worst thing imo than any other thing that the caste system is made of. And some don’t like to question it because they are ashamed and think it shows they are inferior when truthfully our circumstances may be inferior but we as a people are not inferior.Like I said pretty much every other thing that is in the caste system can be changed but race cannot, so there is no amount of marrying up or changing careers or acquiring wealth to get out of it if u are black. Henry Louis gates is a perfect example of this he has wealth, a great profession, but he was still arrested by a cop which would be lower ranking than him as cops don’t have wealth, don’t have a prestigious occupation, and may not have inherited rank, but they do still have white privilege which is the one thing Henry Louis gates didn’t have.
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@ Legion
Brothawolf did a post on that awhile back. It was quite interesting, but I thought she was just so beautiful and I admired her confidence in wearing that catsuit.
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“Why would a black American want to excuse something so wrong [wrt caste systems]?”
__ __ __
It sounds like the person feels that – based on their pervasiveness – societal caste systems are natural occurences, and, if that is the case, it’s probably best not to fool with ‘nature’.
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@Legion
Yea….it was a link, but I am not really sure what he could say to elaborate on what could be seen.
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I had an interesting conversation with my grandmother the other day. My cousin finally revealed her potential husband. So I ask if he was black…..my grandmother remarks “no, he is brown.” I look at her confused and I ask again and she says…”he is brown.” So I curiously ask….”grandma what color am I.” She gives me this odd look and says “Brown.”
I died laughing.
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@ legion
thanks for giving me props, anyway the catsuit experiment was interesting, it looks like something ppl wear for Halloween all they need is some cat ears and whiskers lol. Her confidence, her hair, and her beauty were shinning brighter than that catsuit rofl. I would love to see a follow up experiment in different cities and her wearing different less revealing outfits to gauge ppls reaction.
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@ sharina
rofl, its interesting how some ppl’s views on what skin tone is black and what is not. I guess some ppl think if u aren’t blue black u aren’t black but brown and dark brown, interesting.
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@ mstoogood4yall
Even though I laughed, I was actually shocked when she said it.
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Mstoogood4yall: Like the avatar.
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Thanks ms mary, I chose this one cuz it had almost everything I wanted in an avatar beautiful black woman check, lion check, beautiful sun check, lol. It is kinda hard finding some nice pics like this of an animated black female.
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@ sharina
old ppl say some of the funniest things without even trying. or they say some of the most ignorant things and I sometimes wonder how can somebody that old say something that ignorant. Either way old ppl don’t give a shish anymore and say whatever, I respect that…. sometimes lol.
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Why yellow? I’m sure for shock value right?Re: the catsuit, I admire her courage. There is no way I would do that. It almost reminds me of that show, What Would You Do- where they come up with controversial scenarios and have candid cameras around to view the bystanders reaction.
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@mstoogood4yall
LOL. I have actually been playing a close attention to some of what my older relatives say and you are right. They don’t care.
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Lol
Pastor Marvin Winans Refuses To Bless Children Of Unwed Mothers In Front Of Congregation
http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2013/10/pastor-marvin-winans-refuses-bless-children-unwed-mothers-front-congregation/
And y’all having a sissy fit in the comment section.
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recent comments is blank now
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I thought it was just me. V8
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Hey V8, have plans for Halloween?
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@sondis
Spot the BS.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VW-0xJb_FM4&sns=tw)
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Abagond, will you do a post on Tituba, who was accused of being a witch in the Salem witch trials in Salem Massachusetts.
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And a post on Marie Laveau, the famous voodoo queen would be fun.
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Question:
HELP
BLACK WOMEN AND MEN:
I need your help.
I have a few white men around me who want all black women to be alone and shunned, how can I deal with this? I need my job but am sick of the attitudes from them that not only should we be single but feel like crap?
How can I get them to stop the bull. Even as most black women are coupled up in other teams around us, they are doing this. They don’t want me to be able to normally talk to black co-workers, heck I’m not even supposed to be friendly with the Asian ones.
These are the same ones whom act homosexual with black men, can I get them to stop with putting it on me that I should feel like crap, that black women are all single and that the black male members should shun the black female ones?
I need advice!
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@Alicia
I will piggyback off of @Sondis.
You are going to HAVE TO GET LOGICAL.
Get out of your emotional side, and set up a gameplan.
What do you want, what is your endgame?
Do you want a peaceful work environment?
Do you want a lawsuit settlement?
What do you want?
———————–
Not ONLY do you take notes as Sondis pointed out. You can bring a Few HIDDEN CAMS to work & strategically place them in area where you want to illustrate the hostile work environment.
I say, take copious notes, & sue these cats to KINGDOM COME.
But being emotional & grinning & beating will not solve anything.
Be strategic. Make every move count!
Good Day.
Give us updates at your earliest convenience.
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ok Thanks Adonis, you are right. I guess you and him are both right. Racism is racism. Whatever little things they insist on doing is based on the fact that they have race issues. It’s black women are lonely today but tomorrow could be something different but based on their own racial issues. I guess I just need to bear it and realize they are ignorant, it’s a job and at the end of the day their ignorant desires and beliefs need not affect me.
I also agree with the rest of what both of you said!
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Adonis:
“Spot the BS.”
lmao! leave it up to the white media to find the most, loudest black woman with count em, six kids! Nobody is going to tell me, they didn’t scout for this particular type of black women to stick a mic in her face and allow her to make a complete fool of herself.
My question would have been to this white man, sticking a mic in my face to ask me how many children i have, “what’s the relevants of that question in regard to the situation? That’s none of your concern!
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im glad you ditched that like thing on the android or idk what that was but it was annoying
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@Adonis
I’m putting this in the open thread, because it is completely veering off of interracial relationships.
Throughout this entire correspondents, though your belittlement of the history, the political, social, and economic hardships, and the struggles of BW and BM, (the Black community in general), and any ambivalence that some BM coming to terms with their history and present, feel towards the thought of BW with White men, in comparison to your willingness to recognize the social constructs that plague BM/WW relationships, has been disturbing, horrifying and nauseating; it has brought me to a new found sense of understanding and closure in regards to the section (which is hopefully a minority), of the Black community, that has become so self destructive, so filled with vitriol, and hatred towards its very own people group, that it is imperative that you marry out, to avoid the risk of being misidentified as a “brotha” by those who assume you are, due to having similar physical characteristics; or handing down your identity crises, social schizophrenia, and divisiveness, to the next generation. You say taking on White supremacist systems are too much work, so instead you internalize your own frustrations and inner conflicts to aim them at your own people, and their domestic misfortunes, because they’re easy targets, to feel some semblance of power.
Every once in a while, some random non Black racist bigot, pops up to regurgitate all over Abagond’s blog, but I’m sure you ignore such instances; you seem to preserve you venom for your own people. You also vindicate the hardships of relationships between BM/Non BW, by voicing your understanding of the social constructs that create added pressure for such unions. However, when it comes to your own people group, you continually title social constructs mentioned, as “playing the victim.” As Frantz Fanon said, you’re “Black skin White mask.” I now understand the importance of individuals like yourself breeding out your own Blackness, as your mind is so toxic, it’s for the best. So many years after the civil rights movement, and the combustion of the nation of Islam and Malcolm X, and all the internal fighting that brought about the demise of its most powerful time, you are the segment in the community that won’t die out. You are so deeply embedded with racism towards your own people, that, through your own unwillingness, you’re irredeemable.
Men like my father fought and protested for you, and were willing to give their lives. You’re descended from a long line of BM who were dismembered, sexually exploited, dehumanized; marched, bled, and died for their sons, their wives, their daughters, and for you, just so that you can sit there and laugh at the thought of me, a Black woman, being so inhumane, that I am unrapable.
When I was a kid, at my grandmother’s home, I remember listening, rapping, and dancing along to a Hip hop CD I had. My grandmother casually walked into the room, and as “the n word” littered the verse, as I rapped along to it, my eyes, which had already landed on hers, registered the sudden deep pain and anguish across her face. Her eyes welled up with tears, she swallowed deeply, and quickly drew a smile, so as not to condemn me with her hurt; I guess she figured I was too young to understand. She asked me if I was hungry; she walked into the kitchen to prepare the food, she was completely silent. Though she never said anything, I could tell that her mind was far away, I’d never seen her like that before. I can only imagine the 100 and 1 memories that scattered through her mind.
Adonis, there are some things you are far too young to understand.
First of all, this post was not directed at you, at all. But since you seem to operate by being combative for the sake of being combative, you chose to. I’ve noticed, you have a habit of arguing my points by arguing with points I never typed. This is all out of a desire just to actually argue, just to be combative. To be the angry, mad BW stereotype you project onto all BW but actually personify. Despite this, I will try to make sense of what you have typed.
Adonis
@EbonyMonroe
She responded to Alicia
Alicia said
“I will also say that I know black people, including black men (whom are expected to hold down a family) have much less chances for advancement in Britian, compared to the US which mt contribute to certain things I noticed while there.”
“@EbonyMonroe,
Most black men are not making any complaints about Halle Berry or the other celebs whom are dating IR. I have dated IR and in heavily black areas, black men never cared.”
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I never implied that most BM have complaints about BW marrying out. I implied that the idea that it is not something that would make BM feels uncomfortable if BW married out to the point where there were not enough BW for BM should they prefer to settle down with BW, the way many BW often prefer BM, but that option was affected, I don’t believe no BM would have a problem with it. And I was simply stated that I have encountered BM feeling uncomfortable with seeing BW with non BM. I remember when a picture of Bria Miles with her White boyfriend was posted on here, the reaction from a few brothas was “noooooooo, not Bria.” It is unrealistic for you to assume that your experiences can account for how every or any BM would feel if BW married out in large proportions, just going by the BM in your limited surroundings.
Adonis said
Bria Myles is attractive. So is Kim Kardashian. Brothas will holla about that, and then go about their day.
Sistas get stupid when BM partake in IR dating, but leave the BW who do it alone.
Ebonymonroe says
Of course BM who see, what would be considered, an unattractive BW with a non BM, will not be as bothered. In the same way that WM who see the stereotype of the fat WW with the BM, will not be bothered. Still, BM don’t say “What is Kim Kardashian doing with that Black man?” or “White man?” but I have heard BM say, “what is Bria Myles doing with that White guy.” If the race were not a factor, it would not be mentioned. Please try to apply logic and a contextual frame to wording, it is bothersome having to point out such simple things.
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Alicia said
“@Peanut, EbonyMonroe,
Do you fully understand what Black men face under White supremacy?
Do you?”
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What have I said about BM? At what point have I alluded to BM having it easy? I’m getting a serious Shahrazad Ali vibe from you, at this point. Every time a BW speaks on anything negative she has experienced from a BM, you jump in and say BW do it, too. Every time a BM has said something extremely disrespectful and offensive about BW on this thread, you have overlooked it to stay in alignment with the BM’s plight.
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Adonis said
A lot of BW issues are not SYSTEMATIC, especially when dealing with BM.
Outside of your family, you choose the kind of BM to include in your lives.
Ebonymonroe says
If pervasive poverty, which leads to the breakdown of the family structure, neighborhoods with a lack of access to good education, a lack of job opportunities, policing, and the general constructs of such environments, are symptoms of a systematic form of oppression, then yes, they certainly are SYSTEMATIC. Since the walk of life of a BW is inextricably linked with her fellow BM, she is still directly affected by the oppression of her father, husband, or her brother. So, yes, it is systematic. If young BW are filling jail cells 2 or 3 times to rate of BM in America, and serving considerably greater amounts of time for nonviolent crimes, in comparison to non BW, just like BM, then, yes, it is SYSTEMATIC. Please engage with the points properly, if you’ve no basic understanding of the power of economic disadvantage, sociology 101, the Black experience, or the many generational conflicts that stem from the residues of Black oppression, please just skip it, because there is no point in talking about something you do not understand. It’s akin to gibberish.
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I have always been a supporter of BM, for the last few weeks I have been so proud of Obama for taking steps to adjust the “War against drugs” that has resulted in millions of African American men serving ridiculous amounts of time in the modern slave trade known as the prison industrial complex, used as cheap labor for multimillion dollar corporations.
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Adonis said
Cool Beans
Ebonymonroe says
So what is this, Adonis? What is this? When BW say they care for BM, you mock it, you make underhanded comments about it, and then turn around and complain when you don’t see BW showing their concern for BM? Pick which one you want and we will accommodate you.
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I am aware that BM outnumber WM in college attendance, but it is not acknowledged.
Raw numbers or percentages
I am aware that, statistically speaking, BM spend more time with their children than any other group of men, though they are stereotyped as absentee fathers.
Adonis said
Glad you know
Ebonymonroe says
What is this? Sarcasm?
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I am aware of the fact that BM spend an incredible larger amount of time in jail for non violent crimes in comparison to White male pedophiles and murderers.
Adonis said
I believe you, but where is the link?
Ebonymonroe says
Check the US Census
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I am aware of the race and wage gap that affects BM. I am aware of the judicial, occupational, domestic, and social issues that BM are up against. And I am very proud of them.
Adonis said
Cool beans
Ebonymonroe says
More sarcasm? Wow! Dude, this is why more and more BW just don’t care anymore. Just make sure you don’t complain about it, because it is clearly what you want. Hopefully BW are not encountering too many BM like you, and becoming apathetic towards real BM who actually appreciate our very present love and loyalty, and our historical support.
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The thing that irritates many BW is how individuals like yourself seem to allude to the idea that BM have it harder than BW do.
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Adonis said
More true than it is not. Because black women don’t acknowledge the assistance they get to succeed in America. They love to focus on the plight.
Ebonymonroe says
This is like when racist White people throw affirmative action in the faces of BM and BW to discredit their credibility and any difficulties they encounter as minorities. It’s like that scene in “Borat,” when those drunken Southern White guys complained that minorities have all the power. There you go with your Black skin White mask again. BM could receive help from the government if they were single fathers, but BW tend to be the ones who raise the children at home, in the Black community. It is a disadvantage that you use as some kind of perverse one upmanship. As I said, Black skin White mask. So colonialized it exceeds the definition it was created to encompass.
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*The number 1 killer of BW in the US and the UK is domestic violence
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Adonis said
You mean the men that they choose to sleep with. Lol
Ebonymonroe says
Another flash of your White mask. So I guess Trayvon got it because he shouldn’t have been wearing a hoodie, he shouldn’t have been walking late at night? Once again, you’re speaking on things that you have no understanding of. Abusers tend to groom their victims for long periods of time, while taking pains, to gain the favor of their circle of friends and family members, until the victim is isolated. Domestic abuse hardly ever begins early on in a relationship. Victims are often very young, vulnerable, and impressionable women and men. It begins with getting into the individual’s head; then controlling behavior begins; rough play-fighting and handling, verbal abuse and put downs to bring down the self esteem, and then comes the hitting; after which follows grand apologies. By the time the physical abuse begins, there has usually already been a great deal of psychological and emotional abuse, or complications that make it difficult to just get up and go; such as children; as many abusers wait for years, coddling their partner, before they begin the abuse. Most victims are frightened of speaking out about it, due to fear of being ostracized; or repercussions. And your attitude and opinion that BW deserve to be beaten to death is the reason why. Many victims are unsure where to go for help. One reason that has been attributed to why BW don’t ask for help is that calling the police is frowned upon in the Black community.
http://www.dallasnews.com/news/crime/headlines/20130921-black-women-at-greater-risk-of-becoming-victims-of-homicidal-domestic-violence.ece?nclick_check=1
Take the time to think of the social constructs of poverty and disadvantage that I have already mentioned ad nauseam, before you cut it down to the stereotype of BW chasing after “no good” men. The highest incidence of domestic violence are always linked to a lack of job opportunities, which is something the Black community contends with, being at the bottom of the totem pole. This creates intense home environments.
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*60% of BW in the UK have been raped or sexually assaulted by age 16-18
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Adonis said
This is why you need to pick HUSBAND (regardless of race) that will stick with you & protect your home, and being so loose with your dating practices.
Ebonymonroe says
First of all, I refuse to come at you from the angle you’re presenting, where all BW are loose with their dating practices, because you don’t know that, because you don’t know every BW. And as I’ve said, I have heard BM use the opposite excuse for why they prefer non BW, because BW are conservative, grow up in the church, and take a long time to give it up. These are obviously the BW in your circle of family and friends. If you’re such a big strong man, fix it! And even if we ran with the stereotype you’re presenting, both BW and BM are creating these babies, don’t tell me all BW are rushing to one small demographic of BM and getting pregnant, you do not have the credible statistics to back that up. A White person could call me a n**ger all they want, but I can’t do anything about that, what can I debate with that. Just like you’re indirectly implying that all, or most, BW are the stereotypical Black jezebels. BM AND BW, are getting pregnant, some of it is out of irresponsible stupidity and some of it is out of ignorance, a lack of guidance, peer pressure, communally acceptable sexual behaviors, and a lack of good sex education. As I have said, girls who grow up without a father are more likely to become teenage mothers due to the act of searching for a father figure. That is, having romantic relationships of an adult relationship, they’re too young to have. This also affects BM, who are more likely to engage in sexual activity and promiscuous behaviors that aren’t age appropriate, due to not having a father figure at home, and a mom that is probably working two or three jobs to keep a roof over their heads and is never home. (At least that is what I saw in my neighborhood.) You could try to flip it on BW, but you can’t do that without it being open to being flipped on BM not sticking around. These are two extremes from the BM who hates BW and preaches a monolithic “evil BW narrative,” the latter is the extreme of the BW who hates BM and preaches a monolithic “evil BM narrative.” They are simple boxes that keep everything in their Black and White sections, but there are too many gray areas for it to be true. You could say all BW are the Black jezebel, or the extreme BW position could flip it and say all BM are oversexed animals, and there are no good ones that BW can find. She could say our culture encourages misogyny in our music, glorifies pimping and the mistreatment and sexual exploitation of BW that has been handed down from colonialism, where the BW’s body was a commercial commodity. Since BM are statistically unlikely to pop the question until middle age, due to economics, BW could say if they waited, there would be no more Black children, as women would be passed childbearing age. But this is the thing, you’re coming with stereotypes, and the entire situation is far more complex than you are making it. It’s like I’m talking advanced physics and your still playing with salt being dissolvable. This may be another case where I’ve just got to say, Adonis, you’re too young to understand.
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* You’ve heard of Trayvon Martin, and you saw BW come out in droves, but have you heard of Rekia Boyd, or Aiyana Jones, or Keyarika Diggles.
Adonis said
BM’s mortality is way more affected by white supremacy than BW
Ebonymonroe says
So what is your point? The deaths of these girls and young women through police brutality down matter, at all? Basically, it is my understanding that your position is, BW don’t matter, BM do. Please take note as I continue to remain very even keeled in how I look at things in regards to problems relating to the Black community. I acknowledge the problems as partly due to victimization and partly self inflicted for both genders. You do the opposite, you pain BM as the victims and BW as victimizers and masters of their own disadvantages, yet you will go on to accuse me of doing what you do throughout, though I am the only one out of the two of us who is even keeled and chooses not to demonize BM or BW.
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* BW don’t claim the most government assistance in the US, nor do they benefit the most from Affirmative action, WW do. But BW are demonized as welfare queens.
Adonis said
True. And white media demonizes BW. Black men do not own any media outlets.
Ebonymonroe
You get to speak out when BM demonize BW in Hip hop, you get to speak out when numerous youtubers spew hatred towards BW&G, but you don’t. I’d actually take you for a Tommy Sotomayor, Tariq Nasheed type, you support these men who have a platform and often use it to praise WW while demonizing their own. And yet as the heads of all Black civil rights organizations, the biggest breadwinners of Black owned businesses, religious institutions, and all institutional power confined to the Black community (in case you say you have no institutional power), you stay regurgitating the same propaganda, as the gospel truth, adding to the mainstream demonizations of Black women from a White supremacist system, so what’s the difference between you and this media you speak of? Oh yeah, that’s right, nada? You just happen to do it for free.
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*BW outnumber everyone in college attendance, but they still face both the race and wage gap. BM business owners make more money than BW business owners.
Adonis said
This goes back to choices. What kind of degrees BW are getting.
Chances are, these degree are not valuable to society.
Also, I will concede that, you still have to “bring it” talent wise as a black woman to succeed. But go where the real money.
Stop doing the bare minimum, and expect a six figure salary.
If BM are out doing BW in business, it tells me BM are more thorough in BUSINESS than BW.
If you have ANY other theories that differ, please share.
Ebonymonroe says
This is so ignorant, that I could bring up the fact that BW lawyers, doctors, surgeons, still do not get paid as much as their male counterparts. The difference is obviously by examining BM and BW in the same positions. But since it is so stupid, I’m forced to give an ignorant answer just to highlight how stupid it is…
BM are not getting paid as much as WM because they’re not getting the right degrees, and they give poorer job performance.
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* Black women are filling up jails in the US, like 2 or 3 times the rate of BM, but I bet you didn’t know that.
Adonis said
Are black women being TARGETED or are they committing real crimes?
I think it could be both, but I will hold my opinion until more info comes out
Ebonymonroe says
Once again, it is so ignorant, I’m forced to give a stupid answer. BM are committing the most crimes just as BW are, even though census says otherwise. Impoverished BM who take to selling weed for a living deserve to be behind bars for a decade, even though WM murderers and pedophiles serve far less time for extreme crimes.
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* Black women are statistically the least likely to give up their children to the state, but even though it is a disadvantage being a single parent, they are blamed for their own oppressions because they are said to have all the power as the only adults in their households. BW are blamed for their own oppressions just as much, if not more so, than BM are. The only difference, is that the oppressions BW faced are pushed out to make room for a monolithic narrative of BM being the face of Black disadvantage.
Adonis said
If you are having kids with subpar men, before your finances are handled, why you do expect to be seen positively for keeping or abandoning your children.
YOU DIDN’T EVEN TAKE THE TIME TO PLAN FOR THEM!!!
Nor you took the time to find a capable HUSBAND to help you RAISE THEM.
That is why society is upset with you. Legit.
I acknowledge that their is a racial element to this, but address those two points I put in bold letters
Ebonymonroe says
Once again, stupid answer that forces me to give a stupid answer to highlight the ignorance. This is why you’re known as deadbeat dads, rapists, animals, and why WM fought hard to keep you away from their daughters, because you’re not husband material. You’re even the no.1 cause of death for non BW married to you. This is why society targets you and locks you up in a cage, because you’re dangerous to society.
(Don’t worry brothas, I’m not actually the BW version of Adonis, I don’t actually feel this way.)
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We worship cats like Nathan Mccall who gang r@ped countless young Black girls in his book “Makes me wanna holler,” he hasn’t served one day for it, but since he talks about White supremacy, and is a BM we overlook, in favor of his plight. This attitude leads to situations like what happened with the Dunbar village gang r@pe case, which the Florida police department even admitted, was one of the worst crimes they had ever come across, it was horrific. But when the NAACP and Al Sharpton were contacted, they said they weren’t interested, until the last minute when the sentences were handed down and they came out the woodwork to defend the perpetrators, and not the mother and her child.
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Adonis said
Again, rape is not systematic. There is no system for black men to rape anybody with impunity.
Ebonymonroe
First of all kid, this is not about some innate flaw in BM, so let’s not even go there. Secondly, YES, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, THE SOCIAL CONSTRUCT IS WHAT LEADS TO THIS! IT IS SYSTEMATIC! Oh God help me!
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Adonis said
Why did Al Sharpton & the NAACP did what they did, I have no idea, I have to research.
Ebonymonroe says
WELL, HERE IT IS!!!
Gang Rape In Dunbar Village In West Palm Beach, Florida
On the 18th of June in 2007, at 9 in the evening, a 35-year-old woman came home to her apartment in the Dunbar Village housing project in West Palm Beach, Florida. She had just finished up a long day of delivering telephone books and she was tired.
She had immigrated to the United States in 2000 from Haiti with her then five-year-old son, hoping for a better life.
Before she went upstairs to bed, she and her son had started to make something downstairs in the kitchen for dinner when there was a knock at the door.
A young black male was at the door, his hair in braids. The teenager told her that her truck had a few flat tires and that she should come and look at them.
Following the apparent “good samaritan” outside, she hadn’t taken more than a few steps when three teenagers – all wearing masks and all carrying guns – pointed the weapons at her and told her to get back into her apartment.
They hit her, knocking her to the floor. They pushed her son down to the floor as well.
They demanded money, which she didn’t have.
Incensed at the lack of easy money in the apartment, the four boys beat the woman and her son, stripped the woman of her clothing, took her to the bedroom and raped her over and over, with each boy taking his turn.
Her son was held at gunpoint, forced to watch.
As they raped and sodomized her, she cried out in pain and fear.
Nobody came to help, not then, not when she heard her son cry out when they stripped him naked as well, sporadically breaking lightbulbs and plates on his head.
Up to five other teenagers did arrive, but they had come to join in on the raping and cruelty.
These other teenagers also raped and sodomized the woman, recording it all for posterity on a cell phone.
Eventually, after everyone had their turn with the woman in her upstairs bedroom, they brought her son upstairs at gunpoint. Holding a gun to the 12-year-old’s head, the gang forced his mother to perform oral sex on him.
It is unclear as to whether or not mother and son were forced to have sex with each other.
When everyone had finished abusing the woman sexually, they forced her into the bathtub, which they filled with vinegar and water. They poured common household cleaning products over her, such as hydrogen peroxide, rubbing alcohol, nail polish remover and ammonia-based cleaning solution.
Some ammonia was also thrown into her son’s eyes.
They forced a bar of soap into her girl thingy, hoping to remove physical evidence.
While they were doing this, the gang also threw ammonia into her son’s eyes.
After the group was convinced that they had disposed of the evidence, someone suggested setting the mother and her son on fire. After searching for – but not finding – a lighter, the group left, warning the pair that if they got out of the tub, they’d be killed.
30 minutes later, while the mother and her son were still in the tub, crying in pain, one of the teenagers returned to sexually assault the woman one more time. He wrote a man’s name and 6-CO – a different man and a different gang than the one that had gang-raped this family – on a piece of paper, telling her that he could be found on Sixth street.
As he left, he took the Playstation 2 with him.
The woman and her son stayed in the apartment for two hours after the attack. Nobody came to investigate the screams, nobody called the police for help.
Because their assailants had stolen their cell phone, their home phone and their fax machine, they were unable to call for assistance themselves.
It was a long walk to the Good Samaritan Medical Center, but they walked the mile together, two hours after the attack ended.
They were badly injured. The 12-year-old had to be immobilized for more than two days on his hospital bed, with bandages covering both eyes and a two-inch gash on the top of his skull.
14-year-old Avion Lawson was the first to be arrested. He confessed after investigators let him know that his DNA had been found in a condom recovered at the apartment. While being driven to the Juvenile Assessment Center, Avion called some friends and laughingly told them what was going on.
Al Sharpton & The NAACP Defend The Rapists
The Dunbar Village rape case isn’t a national fraud like Pigford. It’s a crime case but the details are so horrific that it’s the sort of case that often does make national news, especially when a national media magnet like Rev. Al Sharpton inserts himself into it. But it seems to have flown under the radar completely on a national level, getting mainly only local press followed then a flurry of activity by a group of largely black, female bloggers.
“This was a very horrific crime, even our investigators, who’ve been here 25 years, are visibly shaken,” said Ted White of the West Palm Beach Police Department.
Fast forward to today. It seems that the NAACP and Al Sharpton’s National Action Network (NAN) both refused to help this woman because it was ‘outside the scope of their mission’ … however, both groups found time to send lawyers down to Florida IN SUPPORT OF THE RAPISTS. The lawyers are claiming that it is ‘unfair’ to not offer bail to these four rapists.
As devastating as this story is, what the NAACP and Al Sharpton have done about it will simply take your breath away: not only did the NAACP ignore hundreds of requests to assist this woman because it was ‘outside the scope of their mission’, but they joined forces with Al Sharpton, and sent their lawyers to speak out IN SUPPORT OF THE RAPISTS.
You heard me right.
Even though there is conclusive DNA evidence and signed confessions, the NAACP and Al Sharpton are saying that it is ‘unfair’ to not offer bail to these four alleged rapists. They even had a press release about it.
And simple research confirms this – the local NAACP chapter and Al Sharpton came out in support of the rapists. Let’s be really clear on what ‘support’ means. Sharpton actually flew down to Florida to stand with the families of the confessed rapists.
Well, there’s that. He didn’t explicitly condone raping people, trying to set them on fire and taking their picture with your cell phone. Let’s give Rev. Sharpton credit for that. THAT might make news. He didn’t condone it.
But he DID take time out of his busy schedule to travel hundreds of miles away to a different state because he thought there was an ‘imbalance’ – but rather than standing with the relatives of the victims of the OTHER crime and calling for harsher bail, he stood with the families of the men who’d raped and tortured a black woman and her son…and called for them to get bail.
Are the two rape cases similar? Not according to Frank Cerabino wrote an Op-Ed for the Palm Beach Post, saying…
To call these cases identical, as Sharpton did, is to ignore far too much. And to make martyrs of the Dunbar teenagers only trivializes real cases of racial injustice and further denigrates two black victims of unspeakable crimes.
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I definitely feel BOTH BM and BW have it equally as hard, just harder and easier in different areas. I mean this with no disrespect, I really don’t, but if we’re going to get into some oppression Olympics, let’s just end this now. I cannot subscribe to that, at all.
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Adonis said
I believe that you are the first or second BW to outline the plight of BM.
Most of the time, we hear how BM are doing BW wrong, not right.
And we hardly ever hear BW acknowledging the HELP they get in their success.
Ebonymonroe says
What do you mean HELP? Oh right, having a small section of the single BM in the Black community (since BW do not claim HELP AS MUCH WW DO), from the government, because they are doing it on their own. First of all you are not a single mother, nor am I. But from looking on, women, married and single, say it’s one of the hardest jobs in the world, so I won’t accept this cushiony existence you’re imagining. Maybe your mom claimed welfare, but mine didn’t, she worked 3 jobs, saw herself through school, bought her own home, all while being a single parent. Secondly, since BW are being left to do child rearing on their own, who know? If the government didn’t step in to help, it would end up looking like some impoverished village in Africa, where children don’t have anything.
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@ Adonis
Ebonymonroe
@ Adonis
I’m sorry, but if you are alluding to 60% of Black girls being raped between the ages of 0-16 is down to choices. This conversation is over.
Adonis
@EbonyMonroe
Yes, choices that the mother made.
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Ebonymonroe says
As well as choices that the father didn’t make, as well as social constructs, as well as… Look, please seek professional help.
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@EbonyMonroe
@ Adonis
Adonis said
“No good” IMO means low value
Fat, old, high body count, OOW children, poor relationship intangibles, daddy issues.
I would LOVE (emphasis mine) to be able to say the majority of BW fall under this umbrella, but I can definitely say, at least 40% of BW this applies to.”
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Awww man! Lol. I actually spent a good 10-15 minutes answering your post, while this quote went completely over my head.
I bet it did, lol.
All this time, not noticing that as you say, YOU WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO SAY BW FALL UNDER THIS UMBRELLA. LMBO. You’re one of those Black guys, who enjoys talking down about BW. You get off on it, as you said, you would LOVE to be able to say each and every BW is fat, old, has a high body count (a harlot), has OOW children, poor relationship intangibles, and has daddy issues. You would LOVE it, you’d enjoy being able to say that. And there I was actually entertaining your opinions and questions. Alright, you got me.
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I enjoy the demise of a lot of BW because a lot of you are not honest & a lot of you are CREATING YOUR OWN PROBLEMS, like OOW children & poor choices in MEN.
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Ebonymonroe says
This is another time when it is so ignorant that it requires a stupid response. Racist WP enjoy the demise of BM because they end up in jail for selling drugs, not out of the poverty that stems from condensed neighborhoods low on resources that WP created, instead BM sell drugs for fun so they deserve it. BM leave kids all around the place so when a WW once asked another WW what she was doing being with a BM, and did she want to be a single mother, I shouldn’t have been offended because she was right. BM are not the number 1 killers of eachother, their non Black spouses and their Black spouses because of systemic problems, everyone, BM, WW, and BW are all choosing to be with, or hand with the wrong BM.
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Another funny point is, you and Sondis have been arguing with Peanut this whole time about BM hatred towards BW, while you (Adonis) LOVE, ENJOY, AND GET OFF on throwing every possible problem/flaw/oppression BW deal with right in their faces.
The real victims that happen to be Black Women, are cool.
It is the impostors, black male haters, KneeGrow Bed Wench, I take glee in breaking down. Just to be clear
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Ebonymonroe says
No, your argument is null and void, because you speak of all BW as the architects of anything and everything they go through, even though you do not personally know half the BW in the US, so you’re basing everything off of prejudgements, which is prejudice, which come from hatred. You enjoy the suffering of your own people group.
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Which could only be done out of pure hatred. You couldn’t enjoy the misery, suffering and disadvantages of some, or an entire people group, if you didn’t hate them.
You ignore context when it is convenient @EbonyMonroe
I will have a black wife.
Well considering I LOVE & RESPECT wha Antoinette Tuff did to save those schoolchildren, herself & the gunman.
I love & would sleep with Oprah given half the chance.
I love the show Scandal & the women who are responsible for helping it get on television (Shonda Rhimes & Judy Smith)
Considering my favorite heartthrobs are DARKSKIN curvy American BW (Bria Myles, Briana Bette & Jenny Jahaan)
I appreciate any black woman who brings positive value to my life, or make it to the MSM for positive reasons.
So, yes, I am not denying that I take glee when black women fall due to their poor choices. I wear that badge proudly.
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Ebonymonroe says
You do not apply context so this is once again null and void, you base everything off of the gender of a race, not on a case by case basis. Please do not marry a Black woman. And, as I’ve said, tell Black women you meet, exactly what your views are, so they can bounce. If one were to stay, despite hearing your opinions on BW deserving to be beaten to death, or your opinions on rape, or the stereotypes of welfare mothers purposely becoming just that, or all single BM being welfare queens; if they stick around, well they do deserve what they get.
I’m rotf at my naivete. That was a good one. But, you had me there for a minute.
I am glad you enjoyed it.
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Adonis
@EbonyMonroe
Fat: Black men, Black women, Hispanic men, and Hispanic women, are leading in obesity in the UK. This is an economic problem.
Cats argue that sistas are fat, but both Black and Hispanic men and women dominate in obesity in the US due to a lack of healthy nutrition, due to the cost of an organic diet vs the low cost of GM foods.
When push comes to shove, Black men and women are fat in the US
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Adonis said
Agreed. But weight affects BW more than BM. Fat BM are not an issue with BW, but fat BW are problematic for BM.
Ebonymonroe says
Obesity will always be more prevalent in the female counterpart because women store more body fat. And, no, you have said yourself that BW only want good looking BM. Being fat is not defined as good looking. In the Caribbean community, a lot of men like fat women, I’m thick but because I have a small waist I would be considered to small for these men, so, no I would not say you know what every BM feels about fat women to be able to speak for all of them. Secondly, if you were a well adjusted human being, you could actually marry a BW, and bring home a paycheck to put organic food fruits, vegetables, non processed brown carbs, organic meats, free range poulty, and raw unprocessed dairy on the kitchen table. You could even by a water filter so your family isn’t consuming chlorine in their drinking water. You could stock a room in your home with free weight equipment, to build healthy muscle, which burns fat, and purchase DVD cardio and stretch exercise workouts, to exercise the heart, burn calories, and keep fit. You could both help towards pilates lessons, to stay flexible and to work on your posture, for the betterment of your bodies, and your digestive system. But, until you’re in a home helping, there’s not much you can say, cause as sistas used to sing in the 80’s, ain’t nothing going on but the rent.
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Adonis said
BW are more outraged with BM who date out.
Ebonymonroe says
I went over to Lipstickalley, which is regarded as one of the most ratchet US BW websites. They don’t seem to care, the BW I know don’t seem to care. Maybe you need to hang around some different BW. Or tell them to shut up, that you don’t want them; and I’m sure they’ll stop bothering you, out of dignity.
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Adonis said
Black men who are boring.
Black men who lack finances (when it is convenient)
Ebonymonre says
I make more money in my profession than my old man does at his, my sister makes more money than her husband because she has a degree and he’s blue collar, my eldest sister made more money than her husband for a long time. I’m not hurting for money, so as long as a dude has some direction on what he wants to do with his life, in terms of being a productive member of society, as a Black feminist/womanist, I believe in differences between men and women, and I believe in differences in the priorities of our needs. But, other than that, if a dude wanted to be a stay at home dad one day, if that makes him happy, since I don’t believe in roles, than I’m cool. Relationships are about compromise, and all people vary, once again, you cannot say what all BW want from BM, because you don’t know every BW in America. Secondly, WW are not checking for you, to marry you in droves until you hit the 100,000 mark, so it’s us who are here when you’re broke and ashy, nobody else. And the definition of boring is relative from person to person. My old man’s laid back, he’s the homebody, I like to go out, he’s outspoken, I tend to be quite. We’re both pretty boring when it comes to it, but we enjoy eachother.
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, but instead of focusing on the poverty aspect that drives such bad health, sistas are held up in front as the laughing stock?
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Adonis said
I feel the exact same way when BW choose to procreate with deadbeat of any race, and get mad when black men decide to take their talents to non-BW.
But it doesn’t fit your victim narrative.
Also, if you are poor & choose to have children with subpar men. That is a YOU problem.
That is INDEFENSIBLE.
Ebonymonroe says
Adonis, this is an example of how you counter my point by arguing something that has nothing to do with what I said. You’re creating diversions. What does OOW children have to do with being fat due to poverty? And, no, you paint BM as victims and use BW as the offenders to create a bad guy good guy narrative. I have never said BW don’t play a part in their own problems, I have also never said BM are not victimized. I am even keeled. I have repeatedly noted all aspects of the puzzle, bad choices BW AND BM, victimized and disadvantaged social constructs that create a cause and effect. Using the comparison of OOW single WW in the UK from the projects over here, since evidently, considering the fact that WW are in the same boat in the UK, since the UK runs of classism just as much as race; it is obviously not down to the innate nature of a race, but also social constructs. Please try to debate my points, if you’re going to try to debate them at all. It is impossible for me to debate a position I haven’t taken.
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Here’s one of many examples of White supremacism not being attacked with the black male voice, it seems Black women are attacked for this.
Adonis said
Ask the black men you are SLEEPING with @EbonyMonroe to defend you. Stop asking BM who you mostly ignore, to go to bat for you. You support the men that you like or the men that support your interests
Ebonymonroe says
I have not implied that I’m asking you to go defend BW. I have disagreed with you attacking BW. You’re doing the attacking right now, when it comes to BW, no one else is. And this whole thing of YOU support the men that you like. How do you know what I do? I’m sorry have we met? Are you in my actual life? Don’t try to tell me who I am because I’m a BW, you don’t even know me. And I don’t know what kind of example you have at home, as it pertain to BW, but, no disrespect, just because you may see your mom or your girlfriend sleeping with multiple men, does not mean BW like myself don’t know how to wait until marriage. Judge someone by the content of their character not their skin. Or have you never heard MLK say that? It seems you are alluding to BW not defending BM. Do you understand that BW fought, marched and died beside you? Do you understand that BW came out to protest the death of Trayvon Martin, who they had never met? You may not defend BW, but they certainly defend BM.
Madonna says she was disrespected by the black men she dated; blames white racism, sexism
Jet, Dec 18, 1995
Pop music superstar Madonna recently told Spin magazine, “I’ve never been treated more disrespectfully as a woman than by the Black men that I’ve dated.”
In Spin’s January 1996 issue, the seductive entertainer revealed she never expressed her controversial opinion before, but she thought the way Black men treated her was a reflection of their culture.
Madonna, who was once involved in a highly publicized relationship with colorful, controversial basketball star Dennis Rodman of the Chicago Bulls, went on to say, “I think Black men have just been s— on for so long, that, in a way, Black women are maybe more willing to accept rage from a Black man, because they see what’s happened to them.”
She said many Black men grow up without fathers or strong male figures, and they are used to seeing men disrespect women.
In the exclusive interview, Madonna noted she thought she appealed to Blacks because she’s a female, therefore in a minority group also. But she said she later realized that the Black community does not support her.
BW response 1= Yet… June 1987, Madonna was rushed to the Cedars Sinai hospital for an X-ray after her then-husband—Sean Penn hit her across the head with a baseball bat. At the time, they had been having a heart-to-heart talk about reconciling.
Madonna did not make an official complaint because Penn was about to serve a short jail term for attacking a film extra and violating the probation he’d been given for punching a fan. It was a decision she would come to regret. In the late afternoon of December 28, 1988, Penn scaled the wall surrounding the Malibu house and found Madonna alone in the master bedroom.
According to a report filed by Madonna with the Malibu sheriff’s office, the two began to quarrel. Penn told her he owned her “lock, stock and barrel”. When she told him she was leaving the house, he tried to bind her hands with an electric cord. Screaming and afraid, Madonna fled from the bedroom. Penn chased her into the living room, caught her and bound her to a chair with heavy twine. Then he threatened to shave her hair. Penn was “drinking liquor straight from the bottle” and the abuse went on for nine hours, during which he smacked and forced Madonna to perform a “degrading sex act” on him.
He went out to buy more alcohol, leaving Madonna bound and gagged. Some hours later, he returned and continued his attacks, then finally untied her. Madonna then fled the house and ran to her car. Penn ran after her and was banging on the windows of her Thunderbird while she spoke to police on her mobile phone. Fifteen minutes later, she staggered into the sheriff’s office. Sean Penn left her for dead! Yes, I know black men have their issues but how dare she fix her mouth to comment on them when she got her ass stomped on by a crazy ass white man…I never heard of Dennis Rodman leaving her “bound and gagged” her hypocrisy was alarming
BW response 2= Discuss what wig? Her being a hypocrite..then she’s going to make those comments? My thing is, Madonna is not black. She was not raised in a black household/neighborhood, she shouldn’t make comments about US because it’s like she’s talking out of her ass.
BW response 3= OH.MY.GOOD.HEAVENS!! !Sean Penn did all of that for 9 hours to her? I am just…and yet he is the “love” of her life? She may be a woman but since she’s white that privilege will always make her sound racist
BW response 4= Hypocritical ass. Smh.
BW response 5= she’s got a lotta NERVE coming for black men like that when a white man ALMOST killed her ass. I’m sure he’s not the first ain’t shit white man she’s been with.
BW response 6= Madonna talks and only idiots listen.
BW response 7= I’m not here for White People giving their opinions on Black culture and how we are or are not. And definitely not here for her saying dumb shit so Black woman accept Rage from Black men because apparently from her logic we are sympathizers of their “struggle”. Which again she knows nothing about. Stop it girl. And what was her reason for accepting Sean Penn’s Torture and Abuse??
BW response 8= girl yes, EXACTLY. I have yet to hear her or anyone say anything about Sean Penn. In fact, the media kisses his CRAZY ASS!
BW response 9= It probably hurt her when the black community didn’t support her. BISH BYE. We got Janet, why would we need your tired ass?
BW response 10= What I don’t like is how she felt like she had the right to speak on a whole race of men YET she was getting her ass handed to her by this white man. Why hasn’t she made comments on the white men she dealt with like Sean Penn and her father? Her relationships with them were shit yet she focuses on black men because they are an easy target. Like I said JUST because you su***d some black d!ck don’t make you an expert on the black experience.
BW response 11= Bull.
Our trees/roots, whatever are not crooked. If you’re gonna make that argument then you need to make it for the whole damn world because every ethnic group in American is getting divorced, having out of wedlock babies, etc. at high rates. It was a white man who beat the brakes off of her ass, not Black. Maybe a BM wasn’t about to take her vulgar shit or kiss her ass, hence her saying she’s been disrespected. Fuck that raggedy Heffa who stole her whole career from Black folks, even the outrageous attitude and especially the horrible dancing she could never emulate properly. If white men didn’t disrespect white women, pornography wouldn’t exist where you’re either a school girl which is pedophilia or you’re getting the shit choked out of you. She was out of pocket and really being passive aggressive because she’s a narcissist Bitch who hates that Black people as a whole have never cared about her untalented ass. She’s used to disrespect, this Bitch just wants to be worshipped and it ain’t happening by us. She doesn’t know a damn thing about what BW take off of our men. What did she take off of Sean Penn besides an ass whooping for years??
BW response 12= Madonna has a high body count .
BW response 13= You peep her hypocrisy too After he left her for dead, this bitch hops on an interview getting all emotionally proclaiming he is the love of her life. Best believe, if a black man did what Sean did to her, he would have been in jail PROBABLY TO THIS DAY. Sean Penn was worst than every black man she has dated, I could tell you that. If they were half as bad as she claims they are, we would’ve heard about it.
BW response 14= It’s obvious you’re not Black so maybe you should be commenting.. Doesn’t matter how many Black dicks you take or how many African kids you adopt like they are accessories, you are still a non Black person and you can still be racist, ie, have feelings of superiority. The slave master had Black children, he was still racist.
BW response 15= This. A WHITE MAN knocked her over the head with a baseball bat, but she’s spending time commenting on why black women accept this or that, bitch goodbye. Why doesn’t she comment about how, the media hate black woman beaters, but they glorify white woman beaters as if the incidents never happened?
BW response 16= Madonna has history of being a cultural appropriater so just off that everything she has to say about black people is null and void.
BW response 17= “I’ve never been treated more disrespectfully as a woman than by the Black men that I’ve dated.” I take issue with this statement. This is the same woman who stood on a street corner bucked naked and doing all sorts of things for that SEX book and is purported to have hunched and groped whomever she needed to to where she wanted to be. I think this is less about race and unfortunately more about the men treating her like the slore she was before she became an English crypt keeper who writes childrens books and gives life advice.
BW response 18= No, her views are invalid because she doesn’t know shit about OUR culture. why didn’t she make statements about white men and their habits?
BW response 19= I think it was she expected black men to kiss her ass and just be happy to be with a white girl and when those black men asserted themselves she felt more disrespected than by a white man because she was expecting black men to put her on a pedestal in spite of the fact she was so promiscuous. Just another example of white elitism Ya’ll see she kept coming back for more, though.
BW response 20= Dave Chappelle said it best…”you may not be a whore, but you have on a whore’s uniform.”
BW response 21= she is a flaming hypocrite
BW response 22= she is a flaming hypocrite
BW response 23= ya’ll have allowed black hollywood to brainwash ya’ll into believing that black men ain’t no good. Please stop putting the faith of all black men into people like Lil Wayne..
BW response 24= Madonna expected the litany of black men that ran through her to worship the ground she walked on but it didn’t happen. She’s nothing special.
I would like to hear her articulate how someone beating her ass is less disrespectful than being the loser in a hit it and quit it scenario.
Not to mention, look at the men she chose to date: notorious womanizers and narcissists.
Thanks but if I want a survey of black culture I’ll need something more substantive than memoirs of a white jump-off.
BW response 25= The hypocrisy is the fact that she felt she could open her mouth and speak about negative experiences when a white man left her for dead. I don’t recall her ever opening up about the sick shit Sean did to her. All she did was profess her everlasting love for him, which was quite vulnerable, it’s human and I’m not faulting her for that.
What I’m faulting her for is the fact that she can beat up a group of people that are always being beaten on because WHAT? They didn’t call her back the next day? they didn’t kiss her ass? but won’t call on the real monsters in her life.
Sean Penn and her father are not the only white men in her life that were bad. This I’m sure of.
And I’ll say this, she is comfortable speaking about black men and women because “we” are comfortable speaking like this in public. Bashing each other so much this white woman felt well versed enough to speak about us.
BW response 26= it’s hypocritical for her to paint black men like bad men when her experiences with white men have been proven to be HORRIBLE. She picked an easy target and went with it.
Why not say men in general? White people are obsessed with race. It’s sickening.
BW response 27= Madonna has been with a lot of black men. Maybe, she thought they would treat her special since she was white and got disappointed when she found out they wouldn’t.
BW response 28= Madonna was like a Kim. Additionally, she doesn’t choose the right men. MJ thought she was a ho lol… She’s also quite the hypocrite. Additionally, being a strong woman is usually not frightening to Black men; We are a strong people in general and we’ve been strong women since our days on earth; that’s not the issue. I always find it amusing how Whites think they can speak on Black dynamics.
BW response 29= Sorry but the worst was done to Madonna by a white man. And I have never heard her speak on it. The reason why Madonna gets disrespected is because she didn’t respect herself and she thought that being a white woman would make any man kiss her ass. she’s a typical white person! They all are! They can have a circle of black people around them but still feel that they are superior. The truth of it all is that white men are disrespectful too.
BW response 30= Sean Penn beat the shit out of Madonna, yet he was the love of her life?
BW response 31= Y’all keep giving these “others” passes.
BW response 32= Sweetie, are you blind or just choose to ignore. I was in here about to go in on Madonna, but I come in to see black men being dragged through the dirty as usual. It’s really sad how you have allowed black Hollywood to cloud your thoughts on black men. It’s sick and sad. I’ll pray for you.
BW response 33= some worship white people no matter how racist they are! What’s wrong with taking up for the men in your race?
BW response 34= Who is she to comment on black relationships? White people always in black folks business.
BW response 35= Madonna’s taste in men was, for the most part, horrendous.
BW response 36= That means they were probably calling her b!tch to her face and didn’t worship the ground she walked on because she was a white woman. Typical naive white feminists. Then she had this great epiphany that all races hate “strong” women. Basically when she was acting like an obnoxious spoiled brat. The Black men she dated didn’t find it cute.
BW response 37= read a b!tch DOWN
BW response 38= Wasn’t this bitch tied up, beat to a pulp and forced to perform a lewd sex act by White boy Sean Penn????????????????
BW response 39= The point of the matter is, her comment was ignorant she went from sharing her experience, which was what the interviewer asked for. To make generalizations she knows nothing about. It’s funny how sorten people missed the part about her coming for Black women as well. Because apparently we are conditioned to stay with Black men and take their abuse because of sympathy for them. Yet like it was said she was literally left for Dead by a White Man. What was her reasoning??
BW response 40= Now, I don’t care for Madonna comments, but that is like me trying to tell white women how their men behave. I don’t know the behavioral patterns of white men and I doubt she knows the patterns of a black men. Her comments are null and void to me. I guess I just always had strong black men in my life blah blah blah groan my ass Idc.
BW response 41= Why not talk about the disrespect towards women from all races of men. I’ve met guys that were extremely misogynistic and were a55holes to all races of women. Look at the media and how women are perceived and treated. This isn’t just a race issue.
BW response 42= Girl bye!! No. Making Generalizations is stupid as f**k. She could have made a comment about Men and women in general as it apparently applies to herself since she was beat to an inch of her life and was still professing her love for a white man. she hopped-skipped over the line by saying why Black woman stay with Black men.
BW response 43= I am very surprised that she did not get all the bad press on this on Black men as she has on other things she has said & done.After all these years this is my 1st time hearing about this, I am shocked!
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Ebonymonroe says
A few responses from BW posed an interesting question that you have answered.
BW response 1= black women are caping right now for the same reasons they always do for some reason yall feel like yall gotta protect if madonna was a white man saying this about black women…how many black dudes would come out in droves caping for us??? exaaaaactly.
BW response 2= Where are those black males? They should be in here calling Madonna anything but a child of God. Why are black women defending them in this thread? Where are they? Oh wait they got insulted and dogged out by a white women so they’ll be on mute with this one. Had this comment been made by a black woman they would’ve been in this thread by now
BM responds= She’s rich as shit… whats wrong with him using his prime for a rich white b!tch ?
BW response 3= Really? Bw caping for Dennis Rodman who hasn’t dated a bw since……EVER! Seriously, is caping for BM that serious? Despite her comments, these dudes y’all caping for would still jump over you to crawl up her funky c**ch. And currently a black man in his prime is following this washed up shrivelled up cooch around and y’all still caping hard for them? They ain’t even capin’ for themselves with WW.
BW response 4= Chiiiile! When caping goes all the way wrong! Chicks in here HEATED and yet it’s a black man who bash BW.
BW response 5= She still went on to date/f**k black men. Does that say more about Madonna that she continued fraternizing with a certain group of men who she believed treated her abominably or does it say more about the black men, who continued to have dealings with her despite her very public remarks about black male behavior?
Another BM responds= what would these hoes be doing if weave was never invented?
BW response 6= This thread is filled with bw supporting bm and being bashed by bm for daring to support them.
BW response 7= Actually y’all’s endlessly caping for BM proves Madonna’s comments about bw. bw are here feeling the need to stick up for them. in addition, bm are notorious for being open to dating all races which is why Madonnas list of bm shes dating is a mile long but bw stay on that “only a bm for me”.
BW response 5=
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Ebonymonroe says
Yes, when BW always defend BM, you’re right, BM like yourself get off on attacking BW, the women who defend you. I absolutely compute you saying don’t ask BM to defend BW, I get it. But you have to understand that BW have now begun to understand that some BM don’t feel the same. If you should happen to find BW becoming less inclined to jump to your defense, this is probably why.
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But when sistas critique these critiques, they are shot down for not attacking the White supremacist systems that uphold the poverty in the community.
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Adonis said
There is no benefit for me to help you out. Give me incentive…
Ebonymonroe says
I don’t want your help. BW will defend eachother just like we always have. Everyone knows that. Not every BW will, but many BW will come to each others defense. My position was not about you defending BW from attacks, it was the fact that you’re doing the attacking.
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Personally, I have only ever dated lean, muscular men, but since watching the “Peeping Tom House party 1″ scene the other day, I’ll admit, it did a little something for me. I told my old man that if he decides to get fat when he’s old, I will enjoy it.
But I’m not denying that it is a problem, but it is a SHARED problem.
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Adonis said
Fat BW are problematic. Fat BM are LESS problematic.
Ebonymonroe says
No, I don’t know any BW who would check for a fat BM. Amongst me and my circle of BW friends, we’re young and pretty, no one is going there. I just happen to have a slight fetish. And once again, you’re contradicting yourself, as you have previously implied that BW only want certain types of BM, and included “being good looking” as one of the things BW will not overlook. Being fat is not usually considered “good looking.”
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old: sure, there are BW who are not an option because they’re too old. Just like there are BM who are too old for BW. Unless you have a fetish or something.
Adonis said
OLDER BM & OLDER BW are not equal.
Ebonymonroe
You are arguing a point that I never made, again. I said once you are too old, you’re too old, man or woman. However, this idea that you have about BW being okay with old BM is not true. This, once again, contradicts your claim that BW are very selective when it comes to certain things. One of which, you stated, is looks. If you’re old, you’re not going to be ideally good looking!!!??!
Adonis said
We have different value systems for each.
When you get older, you will know that first hand.
Ebonymonroe says
When I am old I will not be looking for anything, I would have settled down with my old man. I see that you allude to understanding the possibility, that with your attitude, it’s quite possible that you will still be single. I regret to tell you, when you are an old man, if BW are stepping over you, which is something you keep saying about BW, that I assume is something you’re experiencing (this is an assumption; I don’t know you), BW will not care what you value, they will be stepping past you faster than they are now. No one wants an old man. When you’re an old man, perhaps it will be time to stop projecting your misogynistic value systems of women, as you will no longer have any value to young women. Unless you’re rich, but then, I can assure you it wouldn’t be for love. Perhaps it will be a time when you should stop pointing the finger at everyone else, and focus on keeping your te5ticles off the ground, and keeping your hip in place.
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high body count: I’ve heard a number of BM complain that they don’t like BW because they’re too conservative. Whereas non Black women don’t take as long. So this contradicts what others have said. But, like always, it’s very difficult to take one persons experiences seriously because it could contradict the positions of many others. In this case, it does.
Adonis said
Some h0es will get married (to low-value men), but for the most part,
Loose women are for fun.
Conservative women are for marriage.
Ebonymonroe says
Men who are conservative with their body count and freaks with their wives once they get married, are for marriage. But I hardly ever come across that. And don’t tell me men care about it more than women do because I know for a fact that normal W/BW women, these days, get embarrassed at the thought of being “hubbying” a dude who’s had his face in this one and that one. This is a problem for BW when trying to find marriage material, too.
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OOW children: BW are making out of wedlock children with BM, so there are just as many BM with children out of wedlock as there are BW with children out of wedlock. I have been hard pressed to find BM without children, I don’t have any, but I learned to overlook it, if the behaviors that led to out of wedlock children have definitely come to an end. I can assure you, BW are just as had pressed to encounter BM without out of wedlock children, just as much as BM are.
There are many BW who have children by the same man. That is why their will be more BW with kids than BM with kids.
poor relationship intangibles/daddy issues: Psychologically, girls/women who grow up without a father in the home, are far more likely to become teenage mother, due to searching for a father figure. This also affects women’s mate selecting, because they have no example of what makes a good candidate for a husband and father for their children.
Adonis said
Exactly
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Men who grow up, not witnessing a healthy, stable marriage at home, have far greater difficulty in relating to women in a healthy way, as there is no example for how to be a good husband. Since both BM and BW are often raised in single parent homes, the daddy issues, and relationship difficulties are a problem for both genders. There is nothing that BM have to put up with from BW who struggle to relate to men, that BW don’t also have to put up with, from BM who struggle to relate to women.
Adonis said
Remember BW are the ones complaining about not being picked, I am just explaining why. Men grin & bear, and because of the INTERNET, you hear from us in the recent moments
Ebonymonroe said
I don’t think BW are complaining about not being “picked” as much as they’re complaining about the hatred being thrown towards them these days by some BM. I also sense that 1. BW are fed up with being held to a standard that BM don’t reach themselves. 2 Black men will lower their standards for non BW, but a BW has to be “wonder woman” to be treated as well as an average looking WW by BM. And 3. BM are not sticking around to be at home raising the BW who are out there, you do not have the authority to demand the character of women who are the product of you, be a certain way, when you didn’t even take the time to be there at home. 4 Don’t call them bedwenches when they go looking for others, because BW deserve a life mate like everyone else, and if you don’t want to be the ones, don’t accuse them of being a masters slave for trying to find it elsewhere. BW are human beings, not your toilet seat.
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But yes, I do define BW generally preferring BM to be a matter of loyalty.
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Adonis said
Let’s go with that. Black men are just as loyal. Because BW are so concerned about the MINORITY of black men who do date out, and ignore the MAJORITY of black men that don’t.
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Listen, I don’t wanna get into sounding like I have an actual problem with BM dating or marrying out, because I don’t. But if BM marry out the most out of all male groups, then no, they’re not as “loyal” to BW as BW are to them. It’s a matter of mathematics.
Adonis said.
My problem with the loyalty argument, it is the implications. It implies that black women are doing a noble act, even a moral one.
Ebonymonroe says.
You misunderstand when people talk about loyalty, loyalty is not being spoken of as BW being God’s gift to BM (actually technically they are), or like you’re not the worst of all men, at all. All they’re saying is, statistically, in the US, your women tend to stick with you for marriage, in comparison to all other groups, especially in comparison to YOU and your constant displays of hatred towards the very women who love you the most.
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Adonis says
My belief is, with all black men, especially when they don’t have the benefits of ANY GROUP of people, including Black Women,
Ebonymonroe says
I will never accept that being a single mother is a benefit. BM are more than welcome to pop the question, BM are more than welcome to put a condom on their own phallus, BM are more than welcome to try be in the home with your woman and your children, BM are more than welcome to become the single parent, not in all, since the courts tend to favor women, but I’m sure in many instances, they could choose to be single fathers, and receive the joys of welfare and child support you seem to get your panties in a twist about.
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Adonis said
are going to where the women appreciate them.
Ebonymonroe says
I don’t mean for this to come across as patronizing, but if WW appreciate you so much, why do you have the highest divorce rate with them? If BW are where all the problems lay, then why do BW/WM have the lowest divorce rates, even lower than WW/WM? If WW appreciate you so much, why then are they not bucking the trend of being statistically unwilling to wed non WM, until BM have hit the 100,000 mark? If it’s about appreciation and not just your new money? No woman who is worth a man’s time is going to mistreat him and undervalue him, that goes for all races. You need to choose women carefully, believe it or not even BW. And, as a man, as the leader, as a potential head of a household, you need to lead by setting standards with a woman so she knows she cannot disrespect you and also by leading with love and respect. Women tend to follow their man, you have to set the example. Check for someone who has values, is mature, has an education. As they say these things make for less ignorance and better communication. But you need to lead by example. Don’t complain about being a man, there are benefits and draw backs, just like there are for women. You can’t just usurp authority, you need to lead.
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Adonis said
The loyalty argument doesn’t account for the black men who want to date black women, but black women don’t want them. Black women are still in denial about this. Because you want these men to be back-up in case the men you want decides not to marry you.
Ebonymonroe says
As I have said, BW always appreciate BM who are down for BW. People look down on 2pac for the mistakes he made, BW are not gonna go without defending 2pac because he took the time to make “Baby don’t cry” and “Keep your head up.” Also because he spoke up for BW as well as BM. You say Idris and Denzel are the type BW stick up for, I don’t think there’s this shallow type you’re alluding to. Denzel and Idris look like the middle class guys, 2pac was the scruffy bad boy, Michael Jackson who went out of his way to put BW in his videos very early on, and made one of the first modern pop songs of the beauty of African women, with “Liberian girl;” these are men BW love. There’s LL cool J for “around the way girl.” There’s Forest Whitaker, who BW like because of his love for his wife Keisha. There’s Omar Epps who’s with the beautiful Keisha from the group Total. BW like Lebron James, BW don’t like Coby, which one has a BW? You don’t see it but it’s there. And before you say it’s down to look, Forest Whitaker would not be considered traditionally handsome. And remember, Wesley Snipes and Djimon Hounsou are not the Terrence Howard looking BM WW and Hollywood usually values as beautiful. But Before Wesley’s comments, BW loved and championed him, and BW find Djimon beautiful. Also BW usually put dark skinned BM in their videos, BM usually put non BW in their music videos, or mixed race looked BW. You are constantly appreciated but you don’t see it. Why do BW love Drake or J cole? Dudes clown them, but BW are not gonna budge after “Crooked smile” or Drake putting “full blooded looking” BW in his videos, where he’s not even dissing them all the time, in his lyrics. Check for Kendrick after putting that dark skinned beauty in his video “Poetic justice,” they’ll be riding with him. And BW will cut you for talking about men like Maxwell and Common.
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Thanks. That official puts old navy off my list of cloth shopping places.
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upon further read Gap and WalMart. *smh
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@Adonis
Adonis said
“And for those who do date out, we always leave out CONTEXT.”
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BW are outdoing everyone in moving into the middle class, at least their higher education rates would say so. A study found that BW now get loans just as easily as WM do. So essentially, BW are in contexts where it would be more fitting to attribute their marring out the most, if that were the case. So that argument is non applicable by comparison.
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Adonis said
I am in full support of BW dating out.
Ebonymonroe says
Adonis your thing seems to be frustration over BW acting up over BM/non BW, you’re also very much in full support of BW dating out. Essentially, many BM seem to be coming from the place of saying let us go our way and you go yours. Okay, fair enough, you won’t hear me bring it up again.
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Adonis said
I just do not co-sign the KneeGrow Bed Wench mentality.
And I will always feel some type of way when BM & WM are held to different standards.
Ebonymonroe says
But you stay comparing non BW who have had it much easier, to BW who usually have a completely different walk of life???
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I don’t see it as BW doing BM a favor, but that could be viewed as a virtue by some, it just depends on your point of view.
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Adonis said
The virtue angle is what @peanut was implying.
Ebonymonroe says
If you like BW, then yes it is a virtue to know they statistically, up to this point, like you back. If you don’t like BW, then it is a curse.
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Adonis said
When black men are “loyal” to black women, where is the appreciation for that.
Especially to their mothers. Doesn’t for the narrative. Nothing to see here
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We have been discussing BW loyalty to BM this entire time. When BM are killed, like in the case of Trayvon, who’s marching and protesting? Black mothers. Who wrote an entire book on the plight of Black men in the modern slave trade known as the prison industrial complex? A Black woman. When White women are on the jury, sending you into your “early retirement” who do many Black men still say are the better women? Oh, that’s right, non Black women. …………………………………………………………………
Adonis said
Black women need to bring a quality woman to the table romantically. End. Of.
Ebonymonroe says
This is not about your ex girlfriend. You can’t make these blanket statements about BW and make any sense. 70-72% of BW who are college educated, get married, and since BW are going to college more than anyone else, obviously many men are finding value in BW
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Adonis said
Black women either support their male family members OR the black men they like.
Ebonymonroe
Blanket statement. Another racist statement actually! The same women who fought beside your great-grandfathers and come together to protest when a BM is killed, even if they don’t know him personally, right, yes, BW don’t support BM. But when a BG is killed by police brutality, you say it doesn’t matter because there mortality rate isn’t as high. What a joke. Press self destruct and spit at the only people other than BM who have always supported you.
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Name actors who BW would lick between the toes, because they either champion BW, or it has been suggested that they were not willing to do a love scene with a White woman, so as not to offend Black women? Oh yeah, Denzel Washington and Idris Elba.
Adonis said
Black women would still deal with these men, whether or not they sleep with WW on-screen or off-screen.
Ebonymonroe says
Chilli from TLC said Denzel is not her type, and she’s a BW. Another blanket assumption, steeped in racist generalizations.
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I have found in previous conversations with BM on this, that it is very important for me to highlight the fact that much of what I am writing is typed with a smile and a pinch of light sarcasm. As it isn’t possible to gage someone’s tone conversing through this kind of forum. And it can be interpreted as a screaming match, I’m not trying to come off that way @ you (Adonis) or Alicia.
It is fun for me either way.
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I think, at times, people are speaking about BW’s “loyalty,” or unwillingness to part with BM in comparison to BM marrying out the most, out of all male groups in the US and the UK, despite the fact that they both grow up around eachother, which is usually the reason given for why BW tend to stay stick with BM.
Black women deal with BM they like out of SELF-INTEREST, nothing more, nothing less.
Adonis said
“So why do YOU think a MINORITY of BM date out.”
Ebonymonroe
I answered this below
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Adonis said
You did not answer my question.
Ebonymonroe says
Yes I do, in the following paragraph.
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Adonis said
“Why do you think that is?”
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I think it’s for a number of reasons. Statistically speaking, men are more inclined to be open to dating outside of their race than women are. If I’m not mistaken, the only demographic that bucks that tide, is the Asian community. I think there are problems in the Black community that make social dynamics difficult between Black men and women on the home front. Black men are usually quite conservative, as the Black community is quite conservative; whereas Black women are raised to be extremely independent and self sufficient, by there mothers, who are aware of the disadvantages for Black women. So essentially you have both genders of the same group, being raised to have a different world view. They are not wholly incompatible, but they make for differences that can be difficult to overcome. Black women are raised to be feminists, BM are not. There are numerous problems that the Black community faces, which probably just makes stepping out of it, to build your family, very appealing. And the most controversial reason… White women are held as the beauty standard, the epitome of femininity, value, and marriage material, this propaganda has power. Since Black is the antithesis of White, anything non Black could be considered more beautiful than Black women, if one were to subscribe to this hype. And as Alicia alluded, I don’t think BM are exempt from the power of White supremacy. Asian women date out the most, are Asian men bad? I don’t believe that at all. In the same way that I don’t apply the concept of BM dating out because BW have some innate national flaw.
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Adonis said
I could care less about Asian politics right now. You are tap-dancing.
Ebonymonroe says
It is comparative, we are talking about social statistics vs. your statements which are founded on your opinions, so yes, using comparative statistical demographics is credible. This is what you do when you analyze in a credible way, you compare numbers, as well as social structures of communities, as well as mental data collected from ones experiences and that of many other BW. Combined, this is credible. You tap dance and stay away from credibility because everything you say is founded on stereotypes and your experiences, nothing else. I’m using a variety of angels, coupled with an open mind, to form my theories.
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Adonis said
And you don’t highlight, BLACK FEMALE AGENCY. BLACK WOMEN HAVE PREFERENCES TOO.
But a great response tho.
Ebonymonroe says
“O, wiiy fank-u docta.” You allude to the notion that BW are perfectly happy with men who suffer from obesity, while you allude to the idea that BW only like good looking men. You allude to the notion that BW are perfectly happy with old men. You allude to the notion that BW only like men without good characters and financial stability, while you allude to BW making financial stability a preference? I can tell you from my own experience, growing up, the guys in my neighborhood much preferred the girls with all the mouth, who would get in their faces, and curse and drink like sailors. Dudes liked how we looked, but not how girls like me were. The girls like myself who were polite, shy, quite and respectful were not all the rage. I think it’s safe to say, that during youth both BM and BW, just like all other young people, tend to check for the bad boys and the bad girls, until they’re ready to settle down. This is very much a two way street, and not limited to one race. You’re also dealing with numbers, when it comes to BW vs. non BW. Because BW are a greater minority, this can account for finding greater quality among “others” because there are simply more of them.
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And yes, if BW turn down advances from non BM, which is a complaint I’ve heard from non BM, then yes, I personally, would define it as loyalty.
Adonis said
“I define it as lack of attraction & shared culture. If the incentive and OPTION to date out was there, most BW would do it.”
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I don’t think that’s true at all. Most BW would confess to finding Brad Pitt, or Keanu Reeves, or George Clooney very attractive. But your opinion about OPTIONS fits into my opinion regarding LOYALTY. BM complain about BW in the UK, just as much as they do in the US, the only difference here, is that many BW do hop the fence and settle down with non BM, here. I know BW have many opportunities to be with non Black men in the US, I saw it myself when I lived there. But I saw BW repeatedly turn down non BM. That’s generally what I mean about loyalty, I wouldn’t define it as loyalty if there were no other options, because then that would mean it is a matter of not having a choice. Although, as I have already said, I think that is beginning to change. The culture part in non applicable, because BM do not share the same culture as non BW, but it is not a problem. Culture is a difference, but not necessarily a barrier.
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Adonis said
Basically, black women need to date out more, and be happy.
You have always had access to non-BM. Knock yourself out
Ebonymonroe says
Hey, you don’t need to tell us that in the UK, more than one 1/3 of us already do, silly billy. But on a serious note, I have registered what you’re saying. You’re saying “don’t bug me about being with non BW because this is what I want, this is my best option and don’t I want to have to take rubbish about it” and your saying “we are happy for you to go away, we don’t want you so please feel free.” I understand and you won’t hear anymore complaints from me.
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@Adonis
Adonis
No, I wouldn’t see any BM as doing BW a favor, by entertaining her. They should both be humbled and flattered that someone is romantically interested; that would be the honorable reaction, in my opinion.
Adonis said.
The biggest issue with women in America, in general is that they don’t know “their place.” And I do not mean that in the “barefoot & pregnant” sense.
They don’t understand the difference between sex & long-term commitment.
They don’t know the kind of men they can reasonably get to commit to them.
They think they can “have it all” without any sort of sacrifice.
They think men will accept sluts as wives (which happens but is rare)
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First of all, a lot of BM go crazy over the likes of Kim Kardashian, so it could be said that many of these standards go out the window for non BW. ………………………………………………………………………………………
Adonis said
Let us go with that. Let us say that black men hold non-black women do a different standard.
Black men need to be checked on that. By who, who knows. I don’t defend that.
Ebonymonroe says
When I ask why WW/BM marriages don’t last you say finances/economics. When I speak of the social constructs (which includes finances/economics/) you say I’m painting BW to be victims. When you stereotype all BW as orchestrating their own problems like raging hedonists, I explain the social constructs that play such a huge part in it, but you don’t give BW the benefit of the doubt, you don’t take the social constructs into consideration, you says I’m giving BW a monolithic victim narrative. When I express the social constructs that plague BM/BW you say the men and the women are just no good, that I’m making excuses. You need to check yourself, because you did a round about, went in on BW/BM and the complexities of their domesticity and then simplified WW/BM down to a social construct. Very, very bad move man. very bad.
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Secondly, I cannot give a serious response to the claim that most—all American women are promiscuous.
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Adonis said
It is true more than it is not. Play dumb all you want.
Ebonymonroe say
Since you probably haven’t met even 20% of American women, but are comfortable to apply your misogynistic stereotype to all of them. I suppose we can rely on racist WP and their thoughts on BM, even though they haven’t met every BM in America, on that basis, their truth is just a true as yours. Either that, or neither is.
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You should check aids stats because they have been affecting men who look like yourself the most, I’m not being rude, but you’re throwing rocks from a glass house with this us/everyone else thing.
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Adonis said
Men & women are different, and held to different value systems.
When men lose out, no one bats an eye.
When women are benefit, no one bats an eye.
Switch these two scenario, we are OUTRAGED.
Ebonymonroe says
Adonis, this has nothing to do with heterosexual AA men being at the top of the list for so long. I do hope that stat isn’t true anymore because I haven’t checked it in a long time. I do know BW’s are dropping. Rocks…. Glass house.
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You feel a certain disdain for BW, you feel a certain disdain for American women, you never know, not to be rude or anything, but maybe the problem is YOU.
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Adonis said
I know, I have to play the Game. And I will. F–k honesty, character & virtue.
Ebonymonroe says
I’m not sure what this means. If it means what I think you mean, you’re not going to find a good wife that way. Why don’t you try going to knew places. Go look for a woman at church, not in the club.
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Just like how you said to one of the women on here, that they shouldn’t see THEIR bad experiences as a representation of all BM, so you should take your own advice and stop applying YOUR BAD CHOICES IN WOMEN, as a representation of all African American and/or all American women. ……………………………………………………………………………………………
Adonis said
I acknowledge that their are great black women & American Women out there.
I have made the argument, that these women are fine. But @sharina with no real rebuttal, tells us different.
Ebonymonroe says
Well you seem to mock BW when they say they care and take an obvious interest in the welfare of BM. But if this is generally true, I’m glad to hear it.
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What you do with that, is neither here or there, but you would be more credible by living by your own advice.
And I do.
Lastly, men are usually more promiscuous than women are, because it is more socially acceptable,
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Adonis said
It also takes work to be a male wh0re. For women they just have to open their legs, and a man somewhere will put something in there.
Ebonymonroe says
I actually found the first part funny, and the last part revolting. Well you’ve got a b)tthole, in certain places, you wouldn’t have to do much for someone to put something in there. But on a serious note, male wh0res pay later in life, because they end up with a bunch of kids by different women, or an std, or decent women won’t mess with him because of his reputation. Just be patient like we have to be. We don’t turn 18 and just get married anymore you know. Our wait time takes more work.
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and there was a recent study that found that BW are no longer as interested in marriage as BM are, so maybe women are just not wrapped up in being someone’s wife anymore.
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Adonis said
But black women are upset when a black men dates & marries out. Whatever.
Ebonymonroe says
I believe it to be an ever decreasing minority of BW in America. And the study didn’t say “no BW want marriage,” it just found that using its survery that BW seem to be less interested than BM. But apparently this is the trend among all genders of all races. Women are not as into it anymore. Here’s the link…
http://thegrio.com/2013/06/07/do-black-men-really-want-marriage-more-than-women-new-survey-says-yes/
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Maybe they just want to use your body and leave the money by the bedside table. But don’t let them, baby, don’t let those evil girls take advantage of your body. They’ll put you to sleep and in the morning, when you wake up, you’ll feel dirty. You’re worth so much more. But you can get over this, you’re going to pull through just fine. You’re more than your body. It’s okay.
LOL. What-ever.
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Ebonymonroe says
You could be like Eddie Murphy in “Boomerang” with Robin Givens. But don’t worry, remember it ended well, he got Halle’s character who was a sweet girl, after he learned to calm down his doggish ways. (Hint, hint.)
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I am unable to subscribe to any position regarding “what kind of BM most—all BW want,” as I have not met every BW in America or the UK. It would be silly to make such a generalisation on a blog where we spend so much time condemning generalisations.
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Adonis said
“All generalizations mean that assertion in question is TRUE more than it is unTRUE.”
White people once believed that Africans are subhuman, because they look different. Just because something is widely circulated, doesn’t make it anymore true. I hope you don’t ever complain about racism, you’re backing yourself into a corner with these generalizations. You better be okay with them, when they are applied to you, as a Black man.
Adonis said
Some generalization are BS. Some generalizations have merit.
Obviously, white supremacists have agendas, so they should be not taken seriously.
Ebonymonroe says
No, you can’t pick and choose generalizations when they are all founded on opinions. A WM could get robbed by a BM after spending a lifetime hearing anti BM propaganda through the American media. His experience would confirm it was true, the media says it’s true, so it could be founded on truth by that standard. But of course, they don’t tell you that the census says BM don’t commit the most violent crimes, they just choose to pick up every incident of a BM doing something bad, to fit their propaganda. Now if experience came and confirmed it for the WM, does it make it true. No, he would have had an experience. Even if he has multiple experiences, it still wouldn’t make it true for all 15-20 million AAM living in America. Either both have merit, or none of them do, because they’re both conceived using the same methods of generalizing.
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Adonis said
The point that you & other BW like to avoid is that BW like the same type of men, which are usually in short-supply. So a lot of you man-share. Knowingly & unknowingly. The former is usually the case. But women play dumb
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You’re completely out of your mind, but it’s funny. Okay Adonis, since I’m a Black woman, and my best friend is a Black woman, what is my type, and what is her type? Go on, since you know us so well?
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Adonis said
Strong social skills
Financially sound
Have decent to great sex skills
Masculine
Lean & muscular, broad shoulders, tight hips.
Ebonymonroe says
Lol, at your boldness with this. No to strong social skills, medium is fine, as long as he’s articulate. I’ve always liked introverts. No to financially sound, I don’t mind being the biggest breadwinner, I just think you should do your calling, then you’ll be happy; that could be a mechanic or a doctor. For the next, as long as we can listen and learn and care about trying to meet each others needs that can be learned. As long as he enjoy it, the only thing I couldn’t deal with is low sex drive. Masculine, I like pretty I like masculine. I like it fro Prince in the 80’s to Larenz Tate, to a fat BM who looks like a lumberjack. For body type, I’m open minded, but I do prefer men who are lean and muscular with broad shoulders and tight hips. But I wouldn’t overlook a good looking guy who is a fattyman. When Ice Cube’s bottocks were squeezed in “Friday 2” they were quite juicy, though I tend to go for a frame with tight buttocks, I liked it. I could appreciate it. It’s about character. Men can become attractive just through by the heart. Women like looks, we don’t fall in love with them the way men do.
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To answer your last point about a sudden attraction that stems from a BM having a WW on his arm, I don’t think that’s the case, I think it’s the statistics that keep being circulated about BM marrying out the most, so when BW encounter these couples, it’s like confirmation, and that’s where the slight discomfort comes from. This, however, is simply my perspective.
Google “Social Proofing” and check out the romantic implications.
The thing that BW do not want to admit is that they look up to white women.
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If you are struggling in romantic relationships with BW, statements like these will not help. This is EXTREMELY offensive. I have already explained why I believe BW turn there heads and notice BM who are with WW, so I won’t repeat that. It could be said that BM look up to WM and that’s why they often want what they have WW and European looking Hispanic women, but that’s neither here nor there. I can’t think of a single BW who looks up to WW, when WW like Miley Cyrus are using BW as stage props who’s the first to call her out? BW. When people give daps to women like Madonna, and she gets a pass for calling promiscuity female empowerment as a WW, who rolls their eyes? BW. When she’s appropriating Black culture, and promoting some pseudo sympathy at the plight of the Black community, by making out with a Black Jesus, and falling into the arms of a Black choir, made up of large, mammy looking Black women, as the angelic WW, failing to see the racial overtones in much of her work, like referring to her Black/minority dancers as emotional cripples she collects, in one of her documentaries, who calls her out? BW. I really don’t know any BW who look up to WW. The only thing I’ve ever seen BW do, is try to physically emulate a Eurocentric beauty standard to appease men, including their own.
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Adonis said
I am glad you admit that BW do what to be like WW.
Ebonymonroe says
NO! I admitted BM go after non BW so BW try to appease them by looking like non BW. BW do not enjoy being made to feel that their natural hair texture is ugly, or that their complexion is ugly.
Adonis said
Smart BW call it out. LOUD minority
Ebonymonroe says
The BW who called it out are Black feminists who are always challenging White feminists, As the two movements have nothing to do with one another. BW were fighting WM and WW, while standing beside BM as Africans and as women in America.
Adonis said
And black feminist want to identify with white feminists.
Ebonymonroe says
Black feminism in the 70’s, was a reaction to White feminism, after White feminism began trying to lure Black women in for the sake of attaching itself to the recent social perception of that time; that the concept of Black oppression was “credible,” through Black women, in order to legitimize White feminism. But instead, Black feminism, which refused to align with White feminism, choosing instead to create its own independent discourse, immediately set about attacking White feminist ideas; the fact that their ideas were only relevant for middle class White women, and Black feminism’s gripe over the White feminist promotion campaign of the idea that their struggles were equal to the oppression of the Black community. I also mentioned that, before “third world feminism,” or any other forms of feminism adopted by women of other races and nationalities, Black feminism was actually the very first to reject buying into the narrative that its own male counterpart is the source of oppression.
White middle class feminists tried to market their fight with “their men,” as something that was equal to the sufferings of African Americans, but then, and to this very day, White women are above the social hierarchy of men of color, this is a fact.
Women of color, particularly Black women, have been vulnerable on three grounds, one because of race, two because of gender, and three because of the judicial, social, psychological and economic oppression of “our men,” our fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins, and our husbands. This vulnerability is completely unique to the Black community and contrary to political “women’s lib” propaganda, and pop culture belief, we do not, and never have had anything in common with the complaints that were voiced by the White feminist movement.
One key example of this is jobs. We always worked–as maids and servants. In the nuclear Black family, the woman was generally the breadwinner. In no way did we need to fight to be able to be co-breadwinners. The economic struggle for the Black family unit was/should have been to secure well paying jobs for Black men, as well as better wages for Black women, along with more access to education for both.
It is this full scale, relentless pressure cooker that has morphed the nuclear Black family unit into a vulnerable martriarchal set up.
And since race has also been the determining factor of class, I would certainly side with the theory…excuse me…the FACT that race, is over all, the most systemic trigger for social oppression above the three. The oppressions suffered because of gender and class in this group (people of color, and more than any other, the Black community,) are simply off shoots of a disadvantage that is already in place…because of race.
As far as Black feminism, there seems to be a lot of misunderstanding about its roots and what it’s about. The origins of Black feminism was called “The new Negro women movement,” that came about during the Marcus Garvey era, and was a part of “The new Negro movement.” It was created by BM and BW
The new Negro movement.
With its race-conscious and class-conscious demands for political equality, an end to segregation and lynching as well as calls for armed self-defense when appropriate. In 1916–17, Hubert Harrison founded the New Negro Movement. Harrison is called the “father of Harlem Radicalism.” The term “New Negro” inspired a wide variety of responses from its diverse participants and promoters. A militant African American editor indicated in 1920 how this “new line of thought, a new method of approach” included the possibility that “the intrinsic standard of Beauty and aesthetics does not rest in the white race” and that “a new racial love, respect and consciousness may be created.” It was felt that African Americans were poised to assert their own agency in culture and politics instead of just remaining a “problem” or “formula” for others to debate about.
The New Negroes of the 1920s, the “talented tenth,” included poets, novelists and Blues singers creating their art out of Negro folk heritage and history; black political leaders fighting against corruption and for expanded opportunities for African Americans; businessmen working toward the possibilities of a “black metropolis” and Garveyites dreaming of a homeland in Africa. All of them shared in their desire to shed the image of servility and inferiority of the shuffling “Old Negro” and achieve a new image of pride and dignity.The latter era of Black feminism was very similar to the Black liberation concept of “The new Negro women movement.”
Black feminism is defined as.
“Black feminism is not White feminism, Black feminism does not focus on hatred of men, its focus is reconciling all the atrocities that have been imposed on the Black community. Feminism is the study of women and the female experience, Black feminism is the study of the Black female experience, our history and what we can do to improve the quality of life for ourselves and our communities, but the difference between White feminism and Black feminism is that Black feminism draws from Black liberation in that it demands the community to critically engage with our identity, to separate from colonialized identity dictatorship, and that includes the digestion of media representations of self, for the sake of the whole, not just Black women. One example of the discourse of Black feminism is poverty, Black feminism engages the origins of poverty, assesses how we can independently restructure a system for the empowerment of the Black community. It’s focused on the reconciling of Black families, Black marriage and parenthood. Black feminism is focused on reconciling with our own culture (Black liberation,) to empower our own community. Black feminism is a discourse that seeks to work to restructure the community in a way that benefits the entire Black community and to disengage with White hegemony, and that includes disconnecting with the internalizing of racism (neo racism, Black on Black,) and mimicking White misogyny (and even misandry,) as it theorizes that both the historical, and the present system of White patriarchy is just as harmful to Black males as well as Black women and the community as a whole. Black feminism is Black women working with Black men for Black liberation. Black feminism recognizes the intersectionality of oppression, the oppression of Black men because of race, the oppression of Black women because of race and gender, and the oppression of the Black community because of pervasive poverty, and therefore, issues relating to class.”
In ancient Africa, we had a hierarchy of honor and respect. But we differed from White society in that we were more rooted in the concept of village/community/family life. There were eras (like the hunting era,) where women stayed at home with the children and the men went to gather food. And there were eras (like the planting era,) where men stayed at home with the children and the women were the food gatherers. There were many eras in African family life in terms of how it was structured in order for family life to be as productive as possible, but we never had the gender issues and gender hatred that White society came to know.
While these issues have not stopped White supremacy, Black feminism and Black liberation as a whole, theorizes that the attempts to mimic White society, have caused more disunity, oppression and poverty than benefit for the Black community. The only time Black feminism gets murky is when it begins to absorb White feminist concepts. But true Black feminism is very much separate from White feminism, as it is rooted in Black liberation. One of the most well known Black feminists, Bell Hooks, was one of the first feminists to insist that men’s rights, particularly Black men’s rights be addressed. Black feminism was the first form of feminism to refuse to buy into the narrative that its male counterpart was the source of oppression and the first to include its own men in the narrative of “the oppressed.” Black feminism is essentially Black women using their voices to speak out for the community as a whole. When you discredit Black feminism you descredit the celebrated examples for Black feminsim from Bell Hooks (who has always been vocal for Black men,) all the way to Harriet Tubman. It would be a shame to downplay the contributions of these Black women.
White women sought to mimick the Black movement to validate their plight as women, Black feminism has always distanced itself from White feminism. Go to twitter and check #solidarityisforwhitewomen it was a huge twitter storm where Black women began attacking the hypocrisy of White feminists and voicing the enminity between Black feminism and White feminism. No women do not want to be White feminists. The credible academic discourse of your story as a Black man in America, could come from the hands of a Black feminist. The social protests for you across America could come from a Black feminists/womanist. You indirectly allude to being concerned about hyper-masculinity (violent, hyper-sexual, child abandon men), in the community, as well as BW allowing themselves to sexually exploited by not valuing their bodies; which leads to OOW children. Well Black feminists have been crying out about this, possibly before you and I were born.
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Adonis said
“So, in their eyes, if a particular white woman is checking for a black male, then that black male is more attractive because he has that white woman on his arm.
But if he was alone, he would be invisible to said black woman”
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Ebonymonroe said
See above
Adonis said
You are in denial
Ebonymonroe says
I’ve answered this. I spoke on confirmation. People always want what they can’t have. Women tend to find men more attractive when they’re with someone, men do the same with women. We’re social beings, and our sense of value is probably the same. When someone has something and enjoys it, all of a sudden you want it, too. Women are just as competitive as men, BW and WW are natural enemies, add the confirmation theory; it’s pretty easy to see how BW will notice a BM with a WW more.
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I must add that over the last few years, I’ve heard the reactions from BW change. BW tend to come from the position of “I don’t mind if BM are with non BW, as long as you’re not spewing hatred of BW to justify it. Just leave us out of it.”
Adonis said
“I have heard that too. But anytime IR dating is brought up with black women on a relevant blog, the comment section blows up. Case & Point. This thread. So, it is deeper than a “hatred for BW. It still rubs a lot of BW the wrong way. And it should not”
Ebonymonroe says
Testing how BW feel about BM with non BW via a blog is too small of a sample to say. It’s not credible. I saw on another website, made up mostly of AAW, a BM started taunting them about BM marrying out, they said they don’t care, and started mocking, writing about crickets. If they’re not by now, they’ll get used to it.
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Do you understand that BW outnumber BM? Do you understand that BM marry out the most? Do you understand that 1 in 3 BM have served time, meaning they will struggle to find employment? Do you understand that when women raise you, live in a world where they are constantly told they’re the least beautiful as the antithesis of WW, go marching for you when things hit the fan, raise your children, desire you, write love songs about you, like Angie Stone’s “Brotha,” and how a deep affection for you as “their men,” why it may sting when you turn around and choose non BW over them more than any other group of males? There is no longer enough BM for BW, this is just fact. So why wouldn’t it matter. I personally think BW should just put it to bed, but I understand where they’re coming from. There are even angry BW posters on this thread, who have gotten angry over the emotional outbursts of BW complaining about BM not reciprocating, which many BW now find embarrassing. But if you have had a historical amount of trauma as a group, if you’ve fought, marched, and stood with your men, trying to find a better quality of life, as a group, and then your men become the statistic that jumps ship the most for the women who oppressed them, and still oppress them in a court of law today, you have to see how that stings. Other than that, I’ve answered this question. See my last post to you.
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Adonis said
Again, Black women have preferences, and sometimes black men get rejected, so if I don’t agree with that there is not enough black men to go around.
But there are not enough ATTRACTIVE BLACK MEN TO GO AROUND.
Ebonymonroe says
Mathematically, no, there are roughly 1 million more AAW to AAM. Bring in the other factors and it is valid. But I get what your saying. You’re not seeing BW making the effort to find a suitable mate, and valuing the prospect of marriage. I hate to say it, but women are out of control. Look at show like the “Jersey Shore,” artists like “Rihanna.” Don’t go to the latest nightclub looking for a wife dancing to Lil Wayne, go to Jazz spots, Neo soul clubs, church, neighborhood barbeques. Go to classy places to find class… But trust me, me contend with finding a suitable mate with class, just as much.
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Adonis
@EbonyMonroe
Adonis said
You engaged me, you just ran into a corner, and now you are ready to tap out. Good to know.
Ebonymonroe says
I HATE discussing these topics that take typing 22,000 words, I don’t know if I’ll be able to go another round after these replies tonight. I’ll definitely need a break. It’s not that I mind discussing it.
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@Alicia @EbonyMonroe
Last comment was for @EbonyMonroe
@Alicia
You have to understand that the attitude among a lot of black women is that black men can do, but won’t do.
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These concepts of placing so much blame on Black women being with thugs, despite the fact that both Black women AND men have high rates of out of wedlock children, but it’s placed firmly on the CHOICES of Black women; which is wrong and it’s very oppressive.
The fact that cats keep barking at sistas that they’re choosing thugs, but fail to realize the fact that 1 in 3 brothas in the US have served jail time, and being that Black women already greatly outnumber Black men; cats don’t acknowledge that if they do the math, they are actually demanding that Black women no longer procreate with Black American men at all.
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Adonis said.
I believe that there are more than enough MEN IN THE WORLD that would happily give an America Black woman a long-term commitment, and a ring.
But as you cited a study, black women would rather not be. Good for them. It still does not absolve them from making pore choice in men PERIOD.
Ebonymonroe says
Statistically speaking, we don’t have hardcore evidents on your assertion that BW are ALL choosing the wrong men. One thing we do know, is that BW are choosing AAM. But this issue is too complex to flip it to the extremes. Once again, social constructs. BM and BW have complications separately, put the two together, do the math.
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If sistas speak out about the fact that finding a brotha to settle down with who hasn’t been to jail, is tough, the way cats complain that sistas have on news reports; they are said to be Black male bashing.
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Adonis said
My issue is twofold.
Is he willing to commit to raising his children?
If an emergency comes up, that is different.
But we are talking about choosing men who are into you & the children you create.
If you choose men who think of you as a Jumpoff, sl-t, that is a YOU problem.
Ebonymonroe says
Well with the only hardcore statistics that we have to lean on regarding BW’s choices, that could be flipped to say that BM in general treat BW badly. We could swing this all day and night between the extreme of the sexually available immature hoodrat BW ignoring good BM for BM who are not appropriate partners, or we could swing it to the extreme of the BM stereotype of treating BW horribly, like they joked about in “Reservoir dogs.” Divorce and OOW births has sky rocketed in the states in recent years, even among WP. If something is hurting those with the most, those at the bottom of the totem pole will reflect in en masse. But as far as your points here on picking men, I agree.
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When they do just overlook it, perhaps by taking the institutional epidemic of Black men being targeted by the law for completely nonviolent crimes, they are then told they obviously love drama and shyt on good men for thugs. They cannot do right for doing wrong. Oh, but if they jump the fence, they are called bed wenches.
Adonis said
How about just get married to men who are “loyal” to you. If that is too hard to do, then be a baby momma, be a wench. Do what makes you happy. You will always encounter criticism.
Ebonymonroe says
Yes Adonis, despite the fact that BW already outnumber BM in the US, are having to complete with other women outside their race more than any other women, and are the female counterpart to men who are the least likely to pop the question until they’re middle aged, yes BW can click their heels three times and get married.
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Tie in the fact that statistically, Black men are not likely to pop the question, and when they do, it is usually when they’re middle aged.
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Adonis said
The financial hardships black men go through play into that.
Ebonymonroe says
I know, it’s the economic aspect. I’m aware of that.
Adonis said
The mating habits of black women play into that.
Ebonymonroe says
Boy, please with knowing what every BW is doing with her own v@gina. The AA community is considered to be one of the MOST CONSERVATIVE according to survery. Even police officers admitted that in the documentary “Bowling for Columbine.” As I’ve said BM in the UK and the US have complained that their problem with BW is that they take too long, whereas WW are ready to give it up. You’re all just making up excuses to justify hating BW that contradict one another from BM to BM. The only difference with the White community and the Black community is the educations, larger percentages of two parent household, GREATER WEALTH, safer environments. I refuse to get into this BW do this or that rubbish, because you’re ignoring social construction, where when White girls go off the rails in their teens, they have a greater support system of resources to pull from to push it under the rug. When Black girls go off the rails in their teens; Tyrone likes Trina, she’s starved for male attention, she falls for him, they “go steady” for some time, everyone has lost their virginity in school, but her, as everyone seems to be engaging in risky activities that people in lower income neighborhoods often do. It’s prom night, Tyrone comes over, the condom splits, mom doesn’t believe in abortion the pastor says it’s wrong, dad and mom are conservative and won’t let her go on the pill. She should be going to college, now she’s got a baby on the way. Tyrone gets spooked, he’s a kid. He stick around, but he’s not thinking about marriage for now.
There’s so many possible variables here. In my neighborhood, growing up, which was home to Black and non Black, there were two teenage pregnancies during my generation before college, one girl was Black one wasn’t. Do you want to know why? It’s because when you put any group of people in the same social constructs, no matter what the race, it will result in the same patterns.
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The fact that, in the US, Black women and Asian men are the most racially loyal.
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Adonis said
Y’all should date each other.
Ebonymonroe says
Save the recommendations, you don’t need to palm your women off to other men just because you don’t want them. They’ll be just fine I’m sure. I would recommend you give advice on what your women should be doing with any other group of men, because you’re struggling to maintain marriages/relationships as a group, with BW and WW.
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And generally speaking, everyone is aware of the “war on drugs” epidemic “slave trade,” but we recognize both this institutional systemic oppression and the loyalty factor, and spit in the faces of Black women for continuing to partner with brothas in the US, and then blame them for their CHOICES? This is only one of the many oppressive narratives inside our community. Oppressive concepts that are often spouted by our own men.
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Adonis said
Choose better men PERIOD. Or stop complaining. Be someone’s wife for a change.
Ebonymonroe says
I agree, but when push comes to shove, when you do the math, they’re not rife in your group, and that’s what BW have been selecting from thus far, and that’s just the way it is, whether you wanna accept it or not.
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Black women are some of your biggest supporters, I don’t know what you’re on about. We usually understand the social constructs that plague your circumstances.
Black women support the BM they like or their family members.
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Yes, belittle the women who dedicate their lives to campaigning for you, just because you look like them. WW care when you’re their family, when you’re in court and their on the jury, PUT A FORK IN YOU YOU’RE DONE.
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As I’ve said, you argue that BW are fat, ignoring the social construct that creates this, and since it is easier to attack BW than White supremacy, and the poverty that creates such a situation, that’s what you do. You ignore the social construct, as though BW are fat by choice. But I notice you don’t bring up Hispanic women and their problems with obesity, or YOURS. ………………………………………………………………………………..
Adonis said
Challenging white supremacy take more effort, strategy, planning.
Ebonymonroe says
So you cave in and begin attacking your own people who do not construct their own demise? If that’s not the most surrendered admission I’ve ever come across. Other than seeing a picture of a BM with his WW wearing a “he’s my ni**a t shirt” him smiling away and BM posters giving it the thumbs up. Or BM being flattered at the “king of spades” tattoos WW get to invite BM for sex, as though you’re still nothing but your genitals all these after the Atlantic slave trade. That is akin to an animal who begins committing cannibalism out of madness.
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Adonis said
And black men are to blame for black women being fat.
Ebonymonroe says
I have never said BM or BW are mostly to blame for their own disadvantages, that’s you, in term of BW. I have in recognition of all the angles, as well as self infliction.
Adonis said
However, when black women complain about NOT being chose, I have to remind black women about what you choose not to do, like LOSE weight.
Ebonymonroe says
YOU pop the question, get married and put food on the table, you stop selling drugs and going to jail and spending your 20’s in jail. If you’re confident that you can snap your fingers a make all your problems (judicial, economic) go away, you would have proven that BW can do the same for theirs, (economic).
Overall, over 10% of the US population of women are expected to die from obesity. That’s 1 in 10 women across America.
Adonis said
Hispanic women are not my problem, yet.
Ebonymonroe says
I just don’t want you marrying BW when you have such hatred for them, and so many perverted views towards their rape, being beaten to death, and such disregard for their rich history of fighting for their community, including BM. You’re better suited to a non Black woman.
Adonis said
Black men being fat is not really an issue, like it is for black women.
Ebonymonroe says
I’ve already answered this in detail
Black women are not the biggest claimers of welfare but the story is not told this way? It is fashionable for brothas to refer to BW as welfare queens.
Adonis said
If this is true, I have not encountered this.
Ebonymonroe says
You listen to Tommy Sotomayor, so I can’t imagine how that could be true. Secondly, you have already implied that that is what BW are by constantly talking about BW and their “help” from the government. So yes, the term has been floating around even while we have been discussing this, and it has been coming from you.
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Black women are the least likely to give up their children to the state, but this is not acknowledged, the good never is.
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Adonis said
You mean the single mothers who mate with men who are not in the position to take care for them. Sorry. Black children are better off in the system.
Ebonymonroe says
BW are having more abortions than any other women in America. They’ve don’t want to breed anymore individuals like yourself. By the way Black children in the system are never placed as easily as White children. So you’re recommending the possibility of Black children having to grow up in children’s homes, (which are notorious for being some of the roughest environments children can grow up in), like orphans with no parents. Let’s add “don’t have kids” to not marrying a BW. By the way, as the BW hatred from BM grew online, there are now BW saying they can’t have children, as they’re afraid to give birth to sons who will grow to hate them no matter how much they try. If this fear expands, you’ll die out, and you won’t have anything to complain about women who look just like your own mother and are probably just like your own mother.
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Black women are accused of not raising good Black men for society, “they have failed as the father and the mother.” But they are also accused of committing Black genocide via their abortion rates. Black women are criticized for not leading as mother and father, and yet criticized for leading?
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Adonis said
Choose better men.
Ebonymonroe says
Which means, statistically speaking, they should stop marrying American BM, along with non BW. But of course, it is not as cut and dry as you are trying to make mate selection out to be.
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Divorce rates are statistically linked with those who suffer from poverty the most; being that (if I remember rightly), 50% of Black America lives under the poverty line; yet it is put down to Black women and every stereotype imaginable associated with them. ……………………………………………………………………………………………..
Adonis said
Black women are not even making it down the altar like that. Lol
Ebonymonroe says
What’s so sad that I’m not American and yet I know more about the state of your community than you do. You just listen to anti-Black media propaganda and vomit it to laugh at the misfortunes of your own people. Sadly, the last laugh is one you because BW are getting married.
Four Myths About Black Marriage
Setting the Record Straight
Is marriage for white people? That question has been asked in one form or another in a series of news reports about the black marriage “crisis.” On the surface, such stories seem to be concerned about black women in search of love, but these media reports have largely served to fuel stereotypes about African Americans. Moreover, by suggesting that too few black men are available to wed, news stories on black marriage have done little more than predict doom and gloom for African-American women who hope to marry. In reality, black marriage isn’t reserved for the likes of Barack and Michelle Obama. Analysis of census data and other figures has debunked much of the misinformation floating around in the media about the black marriage rate.
Black Women Don’t Marry
The barrage of news reports about the black marriage rate gives the impression that African-American women’s chances of walking down the aisle are bleak. A Yale University study found that just 42 percent of black women are married, and a variety of high profile news networks such as CNN and ABC picked that figure up and ran with it. But researchers Ivory A. Toldson of Howard University and Bryant Marks of Morehouse College question the accuracy of this finding. “The often-cited figure of 42 percent of black women never marrying includes all black women 18 and older,” Toldson told the Root.com. “Raising this age in an analysis eliminates age groups we don’t really expect to be married and gives a more accurate estimate of true marriage rates.”
Toldson and Marks found that 75 percent of black women marry before they turn age 35 after examining census data from 2005 to 2009. Moreover, black women in small towns have higher marriage rates than white women in urban centers such as New York and Los Angeles, Toldson remarked in the New York Times.
Educated Black Women Have it Harder
Getting a college degree is just about the worst thing a black woman can do if she wants to get married, right? Not exactly. News stories about black marriage often mention that more black women pursue higher education than black men—by a 2-to-1 ratio according to some reports. But what these pieces leave out is that white women also earn college degrees more than white men do, and this gender imbalance hasn’t hurt white women’s chances at matrimony. What’s more, black women who finish college actually improve their chances of marrying rather than lower them. “Among black women, 70 percent of college graduates are married by 40, whereas only about 60 percent of black high school graduates are married by that age,” Tara Parker-Pope of the New York Times reported. The same trend is at play for black men. In 2008, 76 percent of black men with a college degree married by age 40. In contrast, only 63 percent of black men with just a high school diploma tied the knot. So education increases the likelihood of marriage for both African-American men and women. Moreover, Toldson points out that black women with college degrees are more likely to marry than white female high school dropouts. But cats fail to mention that Black male/White female divorce rates are the highest among all interracial marriages. In this case it is linked to “the family not being accepting,”
I think it is because Black men not having their finances together. Simple.
Rich Black Men Marry Out
Black men drop black women as soon as they reach a certain level of success, don’t they? While plenty of rap stars, athletes and musicians may choose to date or marry interracially when they achieve fame, the same is not true for the bulk of successful black men. By analyzing census data Toldson and Marks found that 83 percent of married black men who earned at least $100,000 annually got hitched to black women. The same is the case for educated black men of all incomes. Eighty-five percent of black male college graduates married black women. Generally, 88 percent of married black men (no matter their income or educational background) have black wives. This means that interracial marriage should not be held responsible for the singleness of black women.
Black Men Don’t Earn as Much as Black Women
Just because black women are more likely to graduate from college than their male counterparts doesn’t mean that they out-earn black men. Actually, black men are more likely than black women to bring home at least $75,000 annually. Plus, double the number of black men than women make at least $250,000 annually. Because of pervasive gender gaps in income, black men remain the breadwinners in the African-American community.
These numbers indicate that there are more than enough financially successful black men to go around for black women. Of course, not every black woman is looking for a breadwinner. Not every black woman is even seeking marriage. Some black women are happily single. Others are gay, lesbian or bisexual and unable to legally wed those they love. For heterosexual black women in search of marriage, however, the forecast is not nearly as gloomy as has been portrayed in the
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DID YOU SEE THAT ADONIS 75% OF BLACK WOMEN ARE MARRIED BY 35. So what’s your excuse? What about the BW haters on youtube? What about all these men who are frustrated over being single, who keep condemning Black women as the problem, and bringing up false stats, when Black women aren’t even single???
Here’s the source…
http://racerelations.about.com/od/diversitymatters/a/Four-Myths-About-Black-Marriage.htm
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but with sistas, it couldn’t be the systemic oppressions of poverty, and the social constructs that plague BW/BM, it is the attitude.
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Adonis said
A lot of you are difficult to deal with. I see you are in denial about this.
Ebonymonroe said
When BW are with WM they have the lowest divorce rate of all. But when you’re with non BW you have the highest divorce rate of all. It seem the problems may rest on you as well. From Madonna to “Reservoir dog,” it is a running punch line the way certain BM feel it is fashionable to treat BW. WW are on youtube apologizing to BW in the comments that their men are so awful, under BW hate videos by BM. You think people don’t know see how pervasive this is in our community? Sweep around your own front door before you go checking anyone’s, BM, because you are in no position to point your finger at any demographic in the Western world.
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These are all acceptable double standards and communally acceptable demonizations of BW, which only reinforces preexisting oppressions from the White voice. There are heavy problems outside and inside the Black community for Black women, which makes talk that oppression can be attributed to within as well as without, fully legitimate, imho.
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Adonis said
Black men & black women are held to different standards. Get over it.
Ebonymonroe says
White men are treated like kings and BM are treated like rubbish, don’t complain, get over it. The only groups who wouldn’t are other BM and BW. BW however, I becoming more and more convinced not to care at all. I’d rather have WM running the country than a bunch of BM with as much impassioned hatred towards BW. If you’re anything to go by, you would not be a suitable leader in the mental state you’re in.
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There is a lot of racism within our own community, but it is fashionable for it to be geared towards Black women. And it is just that: racism. You can hear it in the language, the ideologies, the stereotyping, the generalizations, that sound so familiar, because I’ve heard it before, I heard it from White people. Luckily as I approach my mid 20′s I find I have finally reached that place where you’re not so wide eyed, but finally able to call something what it is and roll on. I ain’t got time for it, and understand full well that the same hatred that is thought to be confined to some White people is actually rampant in the Black community, too. And that’s just the way it is. This is what BW are talking about when they speak of loyalty. Many of us recognize what you go through, many BM demonize us for what we go through.
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Adonis said
And the same could be said on the BM side, about BW.
From the hoodrats to the Bed Wenches.
They work hand in hand with white supremacy.
Ebonymonroe says
Adonis are you all there? Am I corresponding with someone who has all their mental faculties? Because you will admit BM have no institutional power as it pertains to the mainstream media, but then turn around and suggest BW have the institutional power to uphold a White supremacist system. LMBOROTF.
Listen, just leave Black women alone, when I heard them complain about BM marrying out (even though most well adjusted Black men are enjoying their lives with other well adjusted Black women), I will be sure to help them understand why it’s for the best. I even spoke to a friend about it, and she 100% agreed, men who feel this way, and display the hatred across the internet for BW, are better marrying out, even if they made up 100% of AAM. That’s my word.
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Adonis said
I really appreciate that you add context to the conversation.
Because black men are the least likely to get help from their government & their families, but they are still expected to thrive like white men & black women.
Overlooking all the help that white men & women & black women get.
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You don’t apply any context to BW. It is what it is.
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Adonis said
I know black women better than they know themselves.
Ebonymonroe says
You didn’t even know the statistics on how much your own women are getting married, but you claimed you did. (Throws head back in laughter.) You don’t know a thing about your own community, you’re probably getting your information from music videos of BET. Like Frantz Fanon said “Black skin White mask.”
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Adonis said
And you better be sure that BW don’t put BM in any contextual framework.
You are the lone BW That did.
Ebonymonroe says
Here’s another response to the Madonna article I forgot to include, it was from a BW upset over the zimmerman verdict, shortly after.
“Of course that’s the reason! It makes perfect sense! Just in case anyone forgot, it’s been heavily reinforced this week that Black men aren’t sh*t- never have been and never will be. And that goes for every, single last one of them! However, Sean Penn is White, therefore his actions must be viewed on an individual basis and cannot be used to describe all White men.”
I’ve seen BW post videos about their love for BM on you, spoken word expression, poetry, history, encouragement, and dedications. I witnessed time after time as BM told them they were ugly because of their natural hair, that they’re leaving them for non BW. I’ve seen them nitpick at a particular word being used, because they didn’t like a particular word in the poem. Nothing is ever good enough. But the truth is, BM like yourself are not good enough for BW. We just didn’t realize it at first.
@contextual framework.
What’s the point, BW fight, march, campaign, and have died for BM since they were pushed off the ship covered in their own blood, urine, vomit and fecal matter. You belittle our the contributions of our BW ancestors, you mock up when we bring up that we know and we care. Dude, if nobody cares, it’s because so many of you are too unrecognizable to register anymore. This is what you want anyway, you go your way, and we’ll go ours. BW and BM are not alone, they are happy together, or in interracial marriages with others. You BW bashers don’t know that YOUR ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO ARE SINGLE AND ANGRY.
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I was wondering when someone would bring out the Toldson and Marks study on Black marriage in the U.S….
I spit it out so much last year that i got tired of using it (note: people with their IRR agendas kept denying it)…
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I believe I remember you bringing it up. I thought you brought it up sometime recently as well.
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^Maybe so…i’ve lost count.
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LOL. It happens. 🙂
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This week’s episode of, “white privilege”
I want every black person to notice the title of this week’s episode.
” Video shows mentally ill man shot by Dallas police”
Notice how they make it a POINT, to reveal that this white man was, “Mentally ill”
(http://youtu.be/OFR1q-Ko-P8)
This is a perfect example of how, white people can be mentally ill or sick physically but not black people. I am horrified by this videos of the killing of this man for no reason, whatsoever. he was murdered by this police officer, period.
Even as a black man, i will condemn wrong doing, when i see it with my own eyes, unlike the majority of white people, that would make every excuse in the book as to not condemn another white person or white cop for killing a black man in the same scenario!
This white women in the video, will receive justice in the form of a multimillion dollar settlement from a civil rights law suit by her lawyer, because white life is worth millions but black life is only worth a few thousand at worst and a couple hundred thousand at best!
watch this video about a 85-89 year old black man to contrast this video.
“Diabetic Killed By Police After 911 Call For Help”
Notice how they make it a point to NOT reveal this black man’s metal state at the time of his murder by a police officer.
I also want to point out, that the host of this video, ALSO make it a point to say, “this guy just happens to be black”, i don’t think it had nothing to do with race but class!
This is the new, color-blind racism in full effect! “its not about race, its about class” , racists would say.
So i guess all the black men and boys that are killed by police every single day, across all 50 states in America, “just happen to be black”?
(http://youtu.be/DJacEzgqzEE)
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@Ebonymonroe
I am addressing you as we speak.
Nice for you to drop in
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Is it true that Peppermint Pattie is gay?
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@ phoebeprunelleo
A lot of the running jokes indicate that she is, but as for certainty….I am curious about this as well.
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@EbonyMonroe
This was written by a Canadian Woman.
The link is broken for now. But I saved the post.
And then women wonder why their is no incentive for any man to want to get married.
Yes Being a Good Guy Means You Have to Wait for Sex by Max @ Lidia-Anain
http://lidia-anain.com/should-women-wait-to-be-in-committed-relationships-before-having-sex.html
Yes Being a Good Guy Means You Have to Wait for Sex by Max @ Lidia-Anain
A woman I know has a foolproof plan for getting rid of unwanted suitors: she f*cks them. When she goes on a first date, the instant at which she realizes she never wants to see this guy again is immediately followed by the instant in which she decides she’s dropping panties immediately. She has a bit of a reputation now, but what she doesn’t have is pests blowing up her phone or stalking her.
The reason my friend’s plan works so well is that almost every man will get bored with the woman who readily gives up sex. It’s not always instantaneous, but sooner than later his eye will be caught by someone else, and when that someone else makes him work for the pums, he’ll forget all about the p*ssy he got and focus on the p*ssy he’s not getting. Ain’t no p*ssy like new p*ssy, isn’t that how the saying goes?
So to safeguard against the phenomenon of a man we’re interested in losing interest in us, we women have to hoard our vaginas. And you can’t really even blame us from doing it. Pretty much from birth women have been inundated with the idea that a man won’t respect us if we give up the nani too easily. It’s drilled into us by our mothers and by the horror stories we’ve all heard about girls waiting until the right time and then being dumped the morning after. Yes, this still happens. And although the sexual revolution, Samantha Jones, and blogs such as this one have done their part to spread the message that there’s nothing wrong with a woman expressing her sexual desires, deep down what we all fear in life is that sickening realization that the man we’ve been dating was really only in it for the bums.
And yes, we know that if you’re only in it for the bum you’re gonna bounce whether it comes three minutes or three months in. We know this. But still we have to do what we have to do to safeguard our emotions. That’s just the way life goes.
But we gals have our needs and making every dude wait three months is bad for business. Which is why we thank God every day for the invention of throwaway dudes. We don’t call them that of course, but that’s what they are. Men who serve a purpose but not the purpose, so we don’t have to be all that careful with them. We can wear glasses on dates with him. We’ll pick up his calls on the first ring. And we’ll give up the pums the first time he asks because if it turns out that’s all he wanted and he never comes around again, it’s okay. We didn’t really like him anyway.
However, if we like you, we have to make you wait. We just do. By your own admission men are hunters. You value that which you have to work for. And while you might not brand a girl a hoe for slobbing your knob on the first date you will be something less than consumed with desire after that. And a man who is less than consumed is an unruly man, until he becomes an absent man, that is.
The other part of the equation is simply that if we like you we want the sex to mean something. We want to take all our feelings and express them through our vaginas. We want – forgive me – it to be special. And come on, even you guys have to admit that sex is more special if you build up some anticipation around it, right?
But Max, you say, how is it fair that while you’re stringing us along making us wait for the goods you’re dashing them out freely to some simp you don’t even like? Why are they getting the good stuff and we have to take the scraps? Because, my little grasshopper, in our minds the simp is getting the scraps and you’re getting the good stuff – the p*ssy plus package, if you will. While the throwaway dude is getting cutty, you’re getting to hear our thoughts. Yeah I’m swallowing his kids but I’m telling you what I dream of naming mine some day. He’s blowing my back out but you’re the one I really care about – and in our minds that trumps sex every time. Plus we do intend to sleep with you eventually so in the end you’re coming out the winner.
At the end of the day, this is girl logic in the extreme. So I’m not even going to attempt to get you men to co-sign the behaviour. But just accept the fact that when a girl makes you wait for sex it’s a compliment. It’s a testament of what she wants to show you about herself, what she wants you to think of her.
It basically comes down to this: if you’re not the right guy and I know it, I have no expectations of you and I’m not trying to impress you. I want nothing from you but a good time so there’s no filter on my words or actions and you can get the scoop the first night. But if you’re the right guy and I want everything from you, it’s going to take some time. If I like you, I want the sex to be meaningful and for the act of sex to signify us reaching a certain point in our relationship. Sex becomes the gateway from nothing to something. If I don’t like you, the sex just stays nothing.
But in the immortal words of Janet Jackson – I promise. It will be worth the wait.
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@EbonyMonroe
Finally, I’m done.
7 spoonfuls of rebuttals coming up.
It is long, just take what you want to reply to, or just don’t reply at all.
Doesn’t matter to me. I enjoyed it.
See you soon.
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1. @EbonyMonroe
(((((P.S.)))))
I will address your comment point by point, but before I start, I will sum up my POV
(((((Opening Statement)))))
^^^^^(1.) YES. There are systematic & sociological problem that affect Western Black Men & Women, and yes it manifest itself differently.
My knowledge of external factors are on par with your knowledge of external factors, especially when it comes to BW.
However, I live in America, in a big city to be exact. Nobody, especially women, GAF about how you came to be, and why you behave the way you do.
Are you ATTRACTIVE or Nah?
Yes. She spreads her legs & deals the consequences later.
Nah. We don’t care how much of a great husband you strive to be. I rather be a single mother and suffer.
You make it seem like “good/decent/nice/fatherly/spouse-driven” black men are really dysfunctional and that is why they do not get chose by Black women.
When really the only crime is that they are unattractive. End. Of.
And then turn around and have an expectation that they men be “loyal” & ask them to exercise patriarchal performances, like protect, provide & defend even though they are not being compensated AND the women pick & choose when to be A 1950’s woman and a 21st Century woman at her whim,
I don’t know WHY you are in denial about this. WE HAVE WESTERN WOMEN coming out of their own claptraps COMFIRMING THIS.
Search “#ASNTalk” on Twitter
http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2011/08/24/hookinguprealities/price-discrimination-in-sex/
http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/finding-true-love/201002/bad-men-dont-wait-have-sex
http://lidia-anain.com/should-women-wait-to-be-in-committed-relationships-before-having-sex.html
http://msnotrightnow.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/id-rather-be-played-by-a-bad-guy/
Now, if black women were victims of their environment, why would articles like these exist,
Now, where were we.
^^^^^(2.) I am slightly insulted & amused that you accuse me of mimicking white men. Good and bad.
Every system, religion, lifestyle, health practice is a bastardized form of African traditions.
They did not invent ANY of that sh*t, outside of Racism, which is an elevated form of tribalism/genocidal practices.
You accuse me of being ungrateful to the recent ancestors who actually put in work.
I should remind you do the same, any time you remotely give white men credit for the actions they take. Kiss the ring.
Let’s do this
—————-
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2. @EbonyMonroe
(((((Actual post.)))))
Agreed.
I believe in Survival of the Fittest. I get we have obstacles, and I am more blind to BM struggles than of BW.
Evolve or die. End. Of.
🙂
This part of the black community you are going to have to deal with one way or the other.
We are probably the most valuable in terms of enacting change, bringing a positive influence to the black community.
But if the black community doesn’t see it that way, we will take our talents elsewhere & watch this b-tch BURN.
I am marrying a black woman. End. Of.
The next generation will appreciate my efforts.
Let me quote myself, since you conveniently like to Straw Man my position on things.
Challenging white supremacy take more effort, strategy, planning
Meaning that i am willing to challenge it, but I would come at it from a completely different angle, and I would need support.
White supremacy is supported as a group, it needs to be challenged by another group.
Making poor choices & being a victim is two different things.
Getting caught on the 95th floor in the World Trade Center is being victimized.
Getting married and your husband abandoning you & the children he created is being victimized.
Standing on the sidewalk, and a bus JUMPING the curb and killing you is being VICTIMIZED.
IF YOU ARE MAKING THE ARGUMENT THAT BLACK WOMEN HAVE NO GOOD (men that will commit to/marry you long-term & help raise HIS children) BLACK MEN TO CHOOSE FROM.
Then I understand. But that is not the case. And you KNOW that, and when called out, women admit this is not the case.
They know who WE are, and break us down by type. And choose the ones they like.
Especially when we are off with non-black women. They know exactly who we are.
You insult & amuse me again.
https://abagond.wordpress.com/2013/08/24/christopher-lane
Search for
@xPraetorius @Adonis
https://abagond.wordpress.com/2013/09/17/jonathan-ferrell/
https://abagond.wordpress.com/2013/09/24/vine-deloria-jr-on-the-whitenesss-of-american-history/
Search “@Da Jokah” and @Adonis
Search them all in these Abagond posts.
I BEAT the brakes off these Closeted White Nationalists. I eat these fools for breakfast.
But when you are not paying close attention, and you pick & choose what I say, instead of evaluating my ENTIRE body of work, I can see how you can have a WILLFUL BIAS, and continue to STRAWMAN my positions.
@EbonyMonroe you sleep on me, and I creep up & bash you in the head,
WAKE UP & pay attention, things are not what they seem.
Being critical of delusional BW is so much fun.
I understand what they go through, same with black women.
I don’t give them a pass though.
Black men need to get their money up.
Black men need to learn the law.
Black men need to learn Game & emulate the men that black women SELL THEIR SOULS FOR.
The difference here is that, IDGAF if Black Women SINK or SWIM.
GOOD Black Women understand where I am coming from & no explanation is needed.
I apply that same standard to myself also. I have my share of hardships, that I can NEVER EVER take credit for.
I also have inherited SHORTCOMINGS (& advantages) from my family background that I am charged with to fix or have my children repeat. It is what it is.
Being a victim in a war zone helps nobody.
This is about survival!
Play in traffic @EbonyMonroe
What-ever!
I am insulted & amused how you pull on the legacies of your ancestors.
I can also pull on the legacy are Martin Luther King, Jr. who slept with all kinds of different women while married.
I think I want to continue that part of his legacy. 🙂
There is NO benefit for me to support you or women who look like you, especially When there is no POT OF GOLD at the END OF THE RAINBOW.
When there is, I’ll holla.
Otherwise, black woman, YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN.
That his HER legacy, and I totally emphasize why she would feel that way.
But that his HER legacy, our job is to learn from it & MOVE ON.
I took all the good I can from it, now her LEGACY is a burden.
I will be looking forward to that e-mail in a few years talking about how I was right, and you will apologize with grace for pestering me,
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3. @EbonyMonroe
My family lives in London, and I believe your POV is accurate.
The opportunity in America is better than it is in Britain. But the racism is more intense HERE in America.
I think I would enjoy the UK. See you soon.
My point is LOOKS before RACE. That is all.
You are getting deep, because you want to tap-dance around the fact that Black Women engage in short-term dating practices that affect their long-term chances of getting a husband, affect their chances of moving up in social rank.
You keep making the argument that black women have NO CHOICES (like “staying single & childless” or “dating marriage minded, financially sound non-black men” or dating marriage minded, financially sound black men)
EVERYBODY IS GETTING FXXKED THE AZZ BY WHITE SUPREMACIST POLICIES
THAT DOES NOT LET YOU OFF THE HOOK FROM CHOOSING BETTER MEN.
Now, if BLACK WOMEN ARE INCAPABLE OF CHOOSING BETTER MEN. It flies in the FACE OF FEMINIST THEORY, that MEN & WOMEN CAN BE EQUAL OR SHOULD BE EQUAL.
And women need their RIGHTS & PRIVILEGES taken AWAY.
I did not VOTE for Obama, and I am not a supporter of him. I believe when it is all said & done he will be a NET-NEGATIVE for the American Black Community & melanin-enriched people abroad.
Yay for us. They made their money & now it is time to act like they GAF.
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You are the first woman I have encountered on-line to break it all down with compassion.
Let’s celebrate.
My life has not improve nor taken a turn for the worst.
White power!
You didn’t answer my question
Raw Numbers or percentage points?
A white woman did this study. I think she went to college in Massachusetts. I am surprise you knew about this.
I am debating you for long periods of my life. I will have to enjoy this Dog & Pony Show one way or the other.
Link please? Lazy KneeGrow over here.
Black women support the BLACK MEN they like because it is in their BEST INTEREST.
I AM GOING TO DO THE SAME.
These black women are not doing anything noble or exemplary. They are not doing the LORD’s work.
It is purely selfish masked as some self-sacrificing endeavor.
For the record, when those black girls for killed in that church in Birmingham 50 years ago, black men sat on their thumbs & sang “We Shall Overcome”.
What about the Watts riots. Whatever
I can pull on the legacies of BM who ride for BW, but that is too easy & I am full of pride to create my own, and you ignore these events at your conveniences.
I already know how black men are more disadvantaged than black women right now, today.
But in WHAT WAYS DO BLACK MEN have it easier than BLACK WOMEN?
Anybody can answer this SERIOUS question.
By the way, being RAPED and being MURDERED is the same to me. Is it the SAME to YOU?
Now go!
We all (American Black Men & Women) killed Trayvon because we refuse to tackle the system of White Supremacy & we support it & play games with it. That is our cross we have to bear. Fair or unfair.
Whites are very consistent. Covert & cowardly, but consistent. And I have to pop my collar to that.
As American Black Men & Women, what are WE gonna do about it?
Because another high profile case involving a young black male is about to die at any minute.
So, what-ever.
Oh, I get it, I just don’t give out victim passes for it.
These men & women are making THE BEST for THEM & their FAMILIES. Good for them.
And I do not buy most cases of domestic violence caused by a well seasoned con-artists.
That is the story that makes headlines. Good for him.
Like attracts Like. You have no problem admitting that when it comes to my dating woes or someone you think lowly of.
BUT when it comes to domestic violence victims, that truth doesn’t apply. These men & women had it coming to them.
You change up when it is convenient @EbonyMonroe
Also, on the flip side “GOOD/Nice/DECENT/FATHERLY/SPOUSE-DRIVEN” Black Men who take great pains to be the antithesis of the domestic violence abuser get overlook & ignored AND ARE EXPECTED TO SUCK IT UP.
Also, their noble aspirations is questioned & they get lumped in with the abusers.
Of course we have different standards for the people we like, relate to &/or are attracted to.
And different standards for the men & women that fall short of these categories.
They love these men. For the men that fall short of the love criteria, they don’t get to the jail fast enough.
They need to take that azz whooping. They are masochists.
Pick. Better. Men. Or Die. Or take that azz whooping.
We know you like it. Because GOOD BLACK MEN are unsexy & boring.
I stay woke.
I am okay with no more black children being born, if it means black women would close their legs or get with men of any races that GAF about them.
Again, that is your fault if you continue to entertain any man who beats on you, makes children with you & abandons you.
Masochistic wh0res. I love it. We should make a movie about it.
Pretty much. I could care less what happens to BW at this point. They bodies are GREAT for recreation.
When black men shoot themselves in the foot, THEY OWN IT. By choice or by force.
Because the WHITE MAN excuse doesn’t even fly anymore.
Black women blame everyone else for their messed up predicaments. Only when they are OLD & WASHED UP (35+), now they get it. Whatever.
I do not defend black male malfeasance. Black women make it a point to enable, support & defend these men, so criticizing them is pointless.
And black women are fine, otherwise they would change their behaviors. Incentives, baby, incentives.
Now you are OUT OF YOUR FxxxING league fool.
I remember Chris Rock saying (& I will find the exact quote)
“A young black man gets more props coming home from jail than graduating from college.”
Hip Hop is RUN, OWNED & SUPPORTED BY Whites & Jews. Especially the ignorant sectors.
So, is the NAACP. It was FOUNDED by Whites/Jews.
But you are so quick to lay it at the feet of a young black male &
@solesearch uses that to make her NON-EXISTENT BLACK PATRIARCHY argument
Their are conscious rappers & even the Little Wayne’s, 50 Cent’s & the Two Chainz who spew ignorance are smarter than what their lyrics BELIE.
The conscious rappers do not get the support, financial backing & the radio play.
Even if black people rejected this music, whites still are willing to pay top dollar for it
AND BLACK WOMEN
THEY ARE IN THE FRONT ROW, when Chris Brown, Lil Wayne come to their city. Lol. I am sleep tho.
I agree & understand & sympathize with why they feel the way they do.
You do not, that is why you have no problem throwing them under the bus.
I have heard Tommy Sotomayor give praise to White Women. Or challenge black women to point to where “white women do it too” when attempting to avoid responsibility for “Black Female Malfeasance.”
The only time I have heard Tariq Nasheed give praise to white women are
Anna Nicole Smith (for marrying a Billionaire) & other white women for going for the big money
And
Kim Kardashian for the FAKE WEDDING she profited off of.
He has praised black men & women
And he has been critical of black men & women.
Links upon request.
Tommy Sotomayor has been critical of whites women also.
He highlighted the case where whites lured two black men to their homes & killed them & had an orgy on top of them.
Again,
I have heard Tommy Sotomayor & Tariq Nasheed PRAISE & CRITICIZE BLACK WOMEN
You keep conveniently forgetting that 90% of these institutions have white hands/origins/ all over it.
I already highlighted the NAACP.
The black church has BEEN infiltrated, these leaders answer to whites/Jews. Chain of command.
I cannot speak for the black business with the most revenue. Links please.
I take my cues from the streets, what I actually see, what black men & women actually tell me.
The media lying is one thing.
What we experience, and the perspective I get from interacting on blogs, twitter, FB traveling. Priceless.
You can stay in denial tho.
Are you telling me that White/Jewish men would RATHER pay BLACK MEN more money than BLACK WOMEN doing the exact same work. Giving the same exact value.
I get the racial aspect of the pay gap from blacks to whites. Too easy.
But YOU NEED MORE PEOPLE on the Gender pay gap, specifically when it applies to BM & BW.
I will NIGnore THIS, because I think the mythical wage gap when it applies to BLACK MEN & BLACK WOMEN is BS.
I ask, because, since when did black women become a target, they were not a target before.
I am asking for a historical perspective.
Where black women ALLOWED TO COMMIT CRIMES up until a certain point, and then law enforcement decided to crack down.
Or are black women being targeted, falsely accused. Which one is it?
You gave me STATS but NO CONTEXT!
All you did was give me a stat, with NO CONTEXT. What-ever.
Choose better men.
Black men improve. Black women improve.
Although, you can help improve the behavior of black men by only opening your legs for men who are going to stick around and help you raise the kids.
This is because you cannot defend it when a black woman makes a pi$s poor choice, and then wants to scapegoat black men for her pi$s poor choice
I get white supremacy & why it seeks to destroy men who look like me. I respect it.
Are you arguing that black women only have DYSFUNCTIONAL BM to choose from. That is a bullsh-t argument.
I am arguing that you like a certain type of BM, & you procreate with this type of BM, but now that life & white supremacy has kicked your behind, you want out.
Too late.
You are just in denial.
So, are you also making the argument that these law enforcement does not want to punish these BM who rape & pillage?
I get protecting white pedophiles & rapist. But even black ones too.
News to me.
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4. @EbonyMonroe
If men can stop people from MURDERING each other, why does RAPE get a special award.
I say learn to enjoy it, since you have no real solutions for it.
Because poor choices are indefensible. We get it
If this was true for BM, I suggest you go date non-BM. For your own benefit.
Victims vs Volunteers. Know the difference.
I know it hard to get off your bias high horse when it comes to BW. But I know you can do it, we have come this far!
At this point, you believe whatever helps you keep on the business of living.
You ignore context when it is convenient @EbonyMonroe
I will have a black wife.
Well considering I LOVE & RESPECT wha Antoinette Tuff did to save those schoolchildren, herself & the gunman.
I love & would sleep with Oprah given half the chance.
I love the show Scandal & the women who are responsible for helping it get on television (Shonda Rhimes & Judy Smith)
Considering my favorite heartthrobs are DARKSKIN curvy American BW (Bria Myles, Briana Bette & Jenny Jahaan)
I appreciate any black woman who brings positive value to my life, or make it to the MSM for positive reasons.
So, yes, I am not denying that I take glee when black women fall due to their poor choices. I wear that badge proudly.
………………………………………
Ebonymonroe says
You do not apply context so this is once again null and void, you base everything off of the gender of a race, not on a case by case basis. Please do not marry a Black woman. And, as I’ve said, tell Black women you meet, exactly what your views are, so they can bounce. If one were to stay, despite hearing your opinions on BW deserving to be beaten to death, or your opinions on rape, or the stereotypes of welfare mothers purposely becoming just that, or all single BM being welfare queens; if they stick around, well they do deserve what they get.
Whatever.
Lol
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5. @EbonyMonroe
The best thing you have said all day!
1. You overlook all the white trash & low-budget white folks who are on-par with the hoodrats & the dusty black men.
2. I am not a charity service.
Are you attractive or nah?
Are you VALUABLE or nah?
Eff your sob story, everyone HAS a sob story.
Assuming that this BS “virtue” holds up, BLACK WOMEN MAKE GREAT JUMPOFFS.
When black women reject black men for whatever reason, black men are not entitled to those black women are not interested.
I was hoping that this principle would work in reverse.
But black women in their solipsism hold themselves & black men to different standards.
But only 20% of all Americans have a college degree. So, of course the creme de la creme of BW will get chose, but eff the rest, RIGHT?
According to the 2011 U.S. Census, there are 22 million African American women in the United States.Of that 22 million, only 9% of African American women have obtained a college degree. A recent study by Howard Univeristy narrowed the number of black women with college degrees to 2,514,135.
I know this bothers you, but you don’t have to take Advanced Physics to figure this one out.
Steve Harvey is an excellent example of supporting the BLACK MEN you like. Whatever tho
Again pulling on the legacies of Harriet Tubman & the actual BW of the past who put in work, and juxtapose them with the worthless BW sucking up all the air today.
Chilli is not in the SAME league as Denzel AND if Denzel wanted to sleep with Chilli, she would drop draws. But that is neither here nor there.
Women sleep with guys who don’t look the part all day every day.
Ok
Remember a minority of BM marry out.
Some BM grow up in white suburban environments.
Some BM cannot live up to the black woman’s dating requirements. (Why are black women in denial about this)
Black women do ignore a segment of the black male populace.
It would look good, if black women got married & avoid getting their azzes beat.
Obviously WW are represented positively, but black men will take the thicker looking ones. From thick to obese.
Like you, I am an introvert, but unlike you, I have approached 1,000 plus women, mostly black women.
At least I put in the work. Most black women complain about being overlooked, but won’t stare rejection in the face.
They would rather be raped, burdened with the most devastating menstrual cycle and/or excruciating pain that childbirth brings before have to approach the men they like.
So what-ever.
Now, yes there are more quality non-BW than BW, I am glad you conceded that point. Now, tell these other fake loyalty fool to sit down or bring a better product.
European White Men & American White Men are two totally different beasts
And the population difference between American Black people (12% of the total US pop) vs British Black People (4% tops of the total UK pop)
Overall, black women here abroad, don’t get what it means to be an average BM and what our dating pool looks like, and I think you purposely play dumb.
Typical Professional Victim
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6. @EbonyMonroe.
I understand where BM are coming from as far as divorce. WM are just as vulnerable, but they have finances & are more protected.
That still does not give them a pass for poor planning, or when they pick the wrong woman to procreate with or marry.
I know BW problems as well as you do, but since their is no incentive to help fix it for them.
They are on their own. FxxK ‘Em.
And marriage does not define MEN they way it defines WOMEN.
Men need to be get better at getting women to open their legs
Racist white men hate black men because Black men have dominant genes. Survival.
They also want to maintain the unearned privilege of being white.
So they are agenda driven.
———-
Western women do a lot of FxxxING but since s*x is mostly a private affair, it is hard to quantify.
So you are a h0e until proven otherwise.
And a h0e is a woman with 3 or more partners, just in case you were keeping score.
Racist WP are poor analogies, but whatever works.
If BW were dating out more than BM. It would not be an issue.
A good comparative stat. ASIAN WOMEN. We don’t care about what the Asian man think about his women breaking their backs to be with a white man. Go figure.
I still don’t give a d@mn about Asian politics, yet, but you threw the first rock.
No matter where I meet women in America, being Attractive is KING.
Same thing if I was in the UK.
Women here don’t care about how great of an upstanding man you are. They care about if I can make her c*m.
Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.
I agree. It is nice to see women acknowledge that we have a lot of ain’t sh-t BW OUT HERE. And you spend 85% of your post apologizing for them.
Good
But you have an easier time reproducing than we do & that is a fact. So, stop tap-dancing around that.
I have seen this before. Good. I want more women to use as h0es & JUMPOFFS anyway. Because you know these women are still f–king.
……….
Then I will ride for the WM generalization of BM for the sake of this discussion. You set the framework. So you own it.
I was more right than I was wrong.
Financially sound just means he can pay his bills. Men don’t have to provide for women in 2013.
Black men mostly marry black women
AND
Black men mostly check for WOMEN of COLOR. Latina, Asian, etc. I know that is hard to fathom.
Black men mostly check for black women. But whatever.
Black feminists are some of the most useless black women around, and the only reason they have country is because of WHITE SUPREMACY.
Black feminism & White Supremacy work hand in hand.
And the black feminists today rail on Black men every chance they get, and rarely challenge white supremacy.
And are lesbians or want to marry white men aka the KneeGrow Bed Wench (NBW)
Yup
Again “black feminism” is completely useless. Keep going.
But according to @SOLESEARCH there is some MYTHICAL BLACK PATRIARCHY RULING OVER US ALL!
Okay
I will look that up.
But WHY IT IS CALLED FEMINISM? That does not make any sense.
You are trying to tell me that you pre-date WHITE FEMINISM, which could be true. But it seems like you came after white feminism.
More people please.
My book says black feminism has been around for 50 years tops
I can write an excellent mission statement on the theory of my belief and all that Jazz.
But I am more concerned about APPLICATION.
What has BLACK FEMINISM done for anybody since its inception?
What has any self identified BLACK FEMINIST, not Civil Rights Activist, passed any laws, done for ANYBODY, Black women, black men, etc.?
White FEMINISM has gotten laws passed, tangible monetary set-asides for white women, etc.?
Harriet Tubman > Bell Hooks
Two different leagues.
Last time I check, Bell Hooks was not in the Civil Rights Movement
And again, why called it feminism if black men are included. Logical fallacy anyone.
They also got stupid, and went in on BM also.
#BlackPowerIsForBlackMen
The only reason W feminists & B feminists have issues is because they are competing for the same (white) men.
Not one law passed. No monetary set-asides. Just a whole lot of b*tching & moaning.
I will rock with the Civil Rights Movement. You can have your black feminism.
That is why I asked you to look up “Social Proofing”
I don’t care how many men want a particular woman. If she is ugly, I will not be any more motivated to have her.
Women LOVE men who are valued by women, no matter the reasoning. Married Men do very well with single women.
This is a VERY CORE tenet of Game & Evolutionary Psychology
This is not the only black blog tho. And I love that response.
1. Black women & black men from age 15 – 60 have similar population numbers. I ran the 2010 census MYSELF.
After 60, black men start dying off, which creates the imbalance. So, your numbers are off right there.
2. You don’t account for the single mothers, the fat women, the women with no college degree (91%).
I say all that to say this. Quality BM & BW even themselves out.
Janky BM & BW even themselves out.
And then you have non-BM on an international level.
BLACK WOMEN are NOT on a NO-FLY list.
If you cannot find a husband out of 3 Billion men as a privilege Western Woman. You ain’t sh-t.
3. Also let us say that there are 10 BW & 10 BM are in a room.
Those 10 BW will fight for 2 out of 10 of those BM & ignore the rest.
And that gets played out in America with the total black population.
There are unattractive BM being ignored daily, and then BW turning around talking about they cannot find a man.
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7. @EbonyMonroe
I understand. Walk away when necessary. I didn’t mean to hold you up.
I know, but I am telling you based on countless conversations with black women, someone who actually put the pieces together.
You don’t want to concede to this, because it makes you look bad, and you don’t want to take collective responsibility. You just have to use simple DEDUCTIVE REASONING.
You wanna put your head in the sand.
Whatever.
Single Mother
Fat
Attitudinal
Uneducated
We can go there on you as well.
Look how far we had to go for you to partly concede that BW suck at picking suitable men for the long-term.
Every BW I had a conversation about this topic DOES THE MEAN White Man Shuffle.
You cannot say their are no good black men.
You cannot say all the good black men are with white men.
You are gonna have to EAT that.
You do not prioritize dating like that to make that claim.
It takes time, energy, skill. Most black women value other things rather then checking for a man.
Because truth be told, you think that men will drop of the sky, being that you are in your s-xual prime.
Black women ain’t about to be REAL feminists.
I agree with all of that. Everybody got a sob. Especially BW. Make better choices. You have agency. Use it wisely.
No excuses. I want my women that I will be investing in to have close to NO partners.
Marriage is not the end all be all for men. Getting consistent p-ssy is. Accumulating WEALTH FOR children is.
Only low-value men benefit from marriage the most.
Marriage is not a priority for BW, that is why they are not married. End. Of.
It is not that complicated.
Black women do not want it bad enough. You just sent me an article confirming.
Men have a little to nothing to do with that.
And you have an untapped international community of men that y’all refuse to venture out to. C’mon son.
Those racism WW are about to die out. And I have resigned my fate in this WHITE SUPREMACIST climate. It is what it is.
I will take my chances with the LAW , then having to deal with the fake loyalty of BW.
Black men will take p-ssy anyway they can get it. And I do not blame them.
Black women have a limited understanding how our s-xuality work. And y’all continue to overlook all the men who don’t get their s-xual needs met (because women of any race getting s-x is NOT that hard) and then expect them to act rationally when WHITE WOMEN throw them a bone.
You say you understand @EbonyMonroe. But not really.
I never said I would not challenge WS. However, it requires a whole group acting in concert. We do not have the numbers.
Stop acting I can go on a blog and debate white supremacist and the problem can go away.
I will do my part, but it will only do so much.
Black men want fit women ideally, but we sleep with fat women affirming their existence.
If black men avoided overweight women like the plague, they would get it together, quick fast & in a hurry.
Social construct be d@mned.
Let us be real.
Broke men are starved for p-ssy tho.
But black men as detrimental of our problems are. We rarely complain.
YOU, HOWEVER
http://m.essence.com/2013/04/18/emotional-nudity-i-didn’t-give-black-men-they-gave-me/
Obese black woman wonders by black men are not checking for her.
And then have the nerve to bash black men who are the most liberal when it comes to dealing women & weight.
They are not dying fast enough.
I am marrying a black woman, and then I am going to rail on black women harder.
What women want in men is a bomb azz personality, decent social skills, and a little bit of money.
Stamina in s-x might be a real issue tho.
I apologize. I DID know that.
Ever since the American government has been giving BW welfare, BW have been disrespecting BM ever since. Before that, BW have been in pocket.
I cannot WAIT for the welfare for BW to end. We need a resolution. We need a cleansing.
I support this.
Isn’t amazing how BW have full oversight of black sons, but black sons end up dating interracial or grow up to DESPISE BW.
Hmmmmmmmm
Choosing better men might not be the easiest thing in the world. But it is DOABLE.
But then again, do BW know what they are doing.
hmmmmmm.
Last time I checked only 28% of black women are currently married. But whatever.
Cool beans
Young BW need to be educated by healthy, adjusted older BW about what Men value PERIOD. And not waste their youth on BS.
The Past =/= The Future
Marriage ain’t gon be poppin’ like that. Too much free s-x. And BM money ain’t that solid.
9% of black women have a college degree.
I am not marrying a white woman. And I will help black men get their act together. No worries.
That’s right!
Agreed!!!
I know.
No excuses
You know that article made you look worse. And you have very little excuse.
Because white men are not going to let you take their money like that.
And if you marriage is failing, there is NO ONE you can run to. You are going to have to take that abuse & those n-ggerb-tches.
Also y’all don’t get married like that to WM in the state. Not a common sight. You better stay together.
I already told BW to avoid BM.
Why not WW?
That is exactly how BLACK FEMINISTS FEEL.
THEY NEED the white male power structure to keep whatever bullsh-t privileges or to AT least keep BM on their toes.
That is why I celebrate when the EBT cards stop working. It gets REAL then.
Black women do snitch on BM for reward money.
http://www.wnem.com/story/19722153/accused-cop-killers-girlfriend-gets-reward-money
It was a BLACK WOMAN who tried to assassinate Dr King first.
Izola Curry
http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/The-Day-Martin-Luther-King-Jr-Was-Stabbed-in-Harlem-81964952.html
And what do you think @GOPBlackChick Crystal Wright does for pay?
BLACK WOMEN DON’T AID & ABET WHITE SUPREMACY???
What-ever!
Thank you
I am NOT a stat nerd. I am a vibe, energy type. I like numbers. But not like that.
Still pulling on our ancestor’s legacy.
And the BW Bashers will be fine.
I will see to it.
Whew. That was long.
But it was fun.
Thanks for playing.
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@EbonyMonroe
Very familiar with Janks Morton, bless that brothers.
I really like the Dallas News article.
See you soon.
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Adonis:
reading your dialog with Ebony-Monroe has been delicious, entertaining and informative. ^_^
Keep on keeping on, Brotha!
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@sondis
I know I wasn’t the ONLY one ,
And we are STILL going.
Very informative.
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So, @ebonymonroe & @Sondis
I ran that domestic violence article I the DallasNews for my facebook brethren.
These kneegrows are cold-blooded.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/172277012812054/permalink/658780047495079/
Check for updates, it gets more fun.
Now, I believe in PICKING THE RIGHT GIRL.
And then being a man with everything in order. Mind, Money, Spirit, to minimize my chances of being compelled to kill this girl.
Because I don’t like hitting anybody personally.
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@Ebonymonroe- very nice commentary #Teamebonymonroe #yougogurl #wavingmyfuneralchurchfan 😀
@phoebeprunelleo- Re: gay fictional characters, than Bert&Ernie and Batman&Robin are gay as well, can definitely see that about Peppermint Patty, what about that girl in the Scooby Doo cartoons that wore glasses.
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Velma from Scooby Doo i don’t think was gay, as it was later revealed she had a thing for Shaggy…
Pattie or Patty (whichever) wore ambiguous looking clothes, Marcie called her “sir” and Snoopy never saw fit to really cooperate with her in being at her house at night to look after things while her father was at work. Although Snoopy seemed to do whatever Lucy or Sally asked.
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@Ebonymonroe and Adonis,
Great back and forth, good points on both sides though I must admit I underestimated Adonis at first (sorry brother!) as he has more than held his own.
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Gay fictional cartoon characters? you people are sick! @ : o O ) >
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@KS
We lose battles, NOT because we don’t have the talent, but we under-estimate our opponent.
I’ll take it
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Folks, I came across this important information about the side effects of certain medication. Please read it for your health!
Prescription Drugs & Side Effects
A woman asks her husband at breakfast time,
“Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?”
He declines. “Thanks for asking, but, I’m not hungry right now. “It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”
At lunchtime, she asks him if he’d like something. “How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?”
He declines.
“The Viagra,” he says, “really trashes my desire for food.”
Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. “Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?”
He declines again. “No,” he says, “it’s got to be the Viagra. I’m still not hungry.”
“Well,” she says, “Would you mind letting me up? I’m starving
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Batman and Robin?!
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Yeah, I always wondered about Thelma and Peppermint Patty. LOL!
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Batman and Robin always struck me as a father and son duo.
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@ Adonis
Adonis said
And you don’t highlight, BLACK FEMALE AGENCY. BLACK WOMEN HAVE PREFERENCES TOO.
But a great response tho.
Ebonymonroe says
“O, wiiy fank-u docta.” You allude to the notion that BW are perfectly happy with men who suffer from obesity, while you allude to the idea that BW only like attractive men. You allude to the notion that BW are perfectly happy with old men, though old if never considered the standard of “physical attractiveness” in the Western world. You allude to the notion that BW only like men without good characters and financial stability, while you allude to BW making financial stability a necessity? I can tell you, from my own experience, growing up, the guys in my neighborhood much preferred the girls with all the mouth, who would get in their faces, and curse and drink like sailors. Dudes liked how we looked, but not how girls like me were. The girls like myself who were polite, shy, quite and respectful were not all the rage. I think it’s safe to say, that during youth, both BM and BW, just like all other young people, tend to check for the bad boys and the bad girls, until they’re ready to settle down. This is very much a two way street, and not limited to one race. You’re also dealing with numbers, when it comes to BW vs. non BW. Because BW are a greater minority; this can account for finding greater quality among “others” because there are simply more of them.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
And yes, if BW turn down advances from non BM, which is a complaint I’ve heard from non BM, then yes, I personally, would define it as loyalty.
……………………………………………………………………
Adonis @Ebonymonroe
“I define it as lack of attraction & shared culture. If the incentive and OPTION to date out was there, most BW would do it.”
……………………………………………..
Ebonymonroe @Adonis
I don’t think that’s true at all. Most BW would confess to finding Brad Pitt, or Keanu Reeves, or George Clooney, very attractive. But your opinion about OPTIONS fits into my opinion regarding LOYALTY. BM complain about BW in the UK, just as much as they do in the US, the only difference here, is that many BW do hop the fence and settle down with non BM. I know BW have many opportunities to be with non Black men in the US, I saw it myself when I lived there. But I saw BW repeatedly turn down non BM. That’s generally what I mean about loyalty. I wouldn’t define it as loyalty if there were no other options, because then that would mean it is a matter of not having a choice. Although, as I have already said, I think that is beginning to change. The culture part is non applicable, because BM do not share the same culture as non BW, but it is not a problem. Culture is a difference, but not necessarily a barrier.
…………………………………………………………………………………..
Adonis said
Basically, black women need to date out more, and be happy.
You have always had access to non-BM. Knock yourself out
Ebonymonroe says
Hey, you don’t need to tell us that in the UK, more than 1/3 of us already do, silly billy. But on a serious note, I have registered what you’re saying. You’re saying “don’t bug me about being with non BW because this is what I want, this is my best option and I don’t want to have to take rubbish about it,” and you’re saying “we are happy for you to go away, we don’t want you, so please feel free.” I understand and you won’t hear anymore mentions of it from me.
…………………………………………………………………………………….
Ebonymonroe @Adonis
No, I wouldn’t see any BM as doing a BW a favor, by entertaining her. They should both be humbled and flattered that someone is romantically interested; that would be the honorable reaction, in my opinion.
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Adonis @Ebonymonroe
The biggest issue with women in America, in general is that they don’t know “their place.” And I do not mean that in the “barefoot & pregnant” sense.
They don’t understand the difference between sex & long-term commitment.
They don’t know the kind of men they can reasonably get to commit to them.
They think they can “have it all” without any sort of sacrifice.
They think men will accept sluts as wives (which happens but is rare)
……………………………………………………………….
Ebonymonroe @Adonis
First of all, a lot of BM go crazy over the likes of Kim Kardashian, so it could be said that many of these standards go out the window for non BW. ………………………………………………………………………………………
Adonis said
Let us go with that. Let us say that black men hold non-black women do a different standard.
Black men need to be checked on that. By who, who knows. I don’t defend that.
Ebonymonroe says
When I ask why WW/BM marriages don’t last you say finances/economics. When I speak of the social constructs (which includes finances/economics/) that causes problems for BM/BW, you say I’m painting BW as victims. When you stereotype all BW as orchestrating their own problems, like raging hedonists, I explain the social constructs that play such a huge part in it, but you don’t give BW the benefit of the doubt, you don’t take the social constructs into consideration, you says I’m giving BW a monolithic victim narrative. When I express the social constructs that plague BM/BW you say the men and the women are just no good, that I’m making excuses. You need to check yourself, because you did a round about, went in on BW/BM and the complexities of their domesticity, and then simplified WW/BM problems down to a social construct. Very, very bad move man. Bad taste, very bad.
…………………………………………………………………….
Ebonymonroe @Adonis
Secondly, I cannot give a serious response to the claim that most—all American women are promiscuous.
………………………………………………………………………………………..
Adonis @Ebonymonroe
It is true more than it is not. Play dumb all you want.
……………………………………………………………………………..
Ebonymonroe says
Since you probably haven’t met even 20% of American women, but are comfortable applying your misogynistic stereotype to all of them, I suppose we can rely on racist WP and their thoughts on BM, even though they haven’t met every BM in America; on that basis, their truth is just a true as yours. Either that, or neither is.
………………………………………………………………………………..
Ebonymonroe @Adonis
You should check aids stats because they have been affecting men who look like yourself the most, I’m not being rude, but you’re throwing rocks from a glass house with this us/everyone else thing.
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Adonis @Ebonymonroe
Men & women are different, and held to different value systems.
When men lose out, no one bats an eye.
When women are benefit, no one bats an eye.
Switch these two scenario, we are OUTRAGED.
……………………………………………………………………………….
Ebonymonroe says
Adonis, this has nothing to do with heterosexual AA men being at the top of the list for so long. You’re tap dancing like Fred Astaire. God willing, that stat isn’t true anymore because I haven’t checked it in a long time. I do know BW’s are dropping. Rocks…. Glass house.
………………………………………………………………………………..
Ebonymonroe @Adonis
You feel a certain disdain for BW, you feel a certain disdain for American women, you never know, not to be rude or anything, but maybe the problem is YOU.
………………………………………………………………….
Adonis said
I know, I have to play the Game. And I will. F–k honesty, character & virtue.
Ebonymonroe says
I’m not sure what this means. If it means what I think it means, you’re certainly not going to find a good wife that way. Why don’t you try going to new places. Go look for a woman at church, not in the club.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
Just like how you said to one of the women on here, that they shouldn’t see THEIR bad experiences as a representation of all BM, so you should take your own advice and stop applying YOUR BAD CHOICES IN WOMEN, to a representation of all African American and/or all American women. ……………………………………………………………………………………………
Adonis said
I acknowledge that their are great black women & American Women out there.
I have made the argument, that these women are fine. But @sharina with no real rebuttal, tells us different.
Ebonymonroe says
Well you seem to mock BW when they say they care and take an obvious interest in the welfare of BM. But if this is generally true, I’m glad to hear it.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
What you do with that, is neither here or there, but you would be more credible by living by your own advice.
……………………………………………………….
Adonis said
And I do.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
Lastly, men are usually more promiscuous than women are, because it is more socially acceptable,
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Adonis said
It also takes work to be a male wh0re. For women they just have to open their legs, and a man somewhere will put something in there.
Ebonymonroe says
I actually found the first part funny, and the last part revolting. Well, you’ve got a b()tthole, in certain places, you wouldn’t have to do much for someone to put something in there. But on a serious note, male wh0res pay later in life, because they end up with a bunch of kids by different women, or an std, or decent women won’t mess with them because of the reputation. Just be patient like we have to be. We don’t turn 18 and just get married anymore you know. Our wait time takes more work.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
and there was a recent study that found that BW are no longer as interested in marriage as BM are, so maybe women are just not wrapped up in being someone’s wife anymore.
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Adonis said
But black women are upset when a black men dates & marries out. Whatever.
Ebonymonroe says
I believe it to be an ever increasing minority of women in America. And the study didn’t say “no BW want marriage,” it just found that through conducting a survery, that BW seem to be less interested than BM. But apparently this is the trend among all genders of all races. Women are not as into it anymore. Here’s the link…
http://thegrio.com/2013/06/07/do-black-men-really-want-marriage-more-than-women-new-survey-says-yes/
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
Maybe they just want to use your body and leave the money by the bedside table. But don’t let them, baby, don’t let those evil girls take advantage of your body. They’ll put you to sleep and in the morning, when you wake up, you’ll feel dirty. You’re worth so much more. But you can get over this, you’re going to pull through just fine. You’re more than your body. It’s okay.
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Adonis said
LOL. What-ever.
Ebonymonroe says
You could be like Eddie Murphy in “Boomerang” with Robin Givens. But don’t worry, remember it ended well, he got Halle’s character who was a sweet girl, after he learned to calm down his doggish ways. (Hint, hint.) Although my comparing a playa to someone who comes across as a psychopath, is an extremely optimistic outlook.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
I am unable to subscribe to any position regarding “what kind of BM most—all BW want,” as I have not met every BW in America or the UK. It would be silly to make such a generalization on a blog where we spend so much time condemning generalizations.
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Adonis @Ebonymonroe
“All generalizations mean that assertion in question is TRUE more than it is unTRUE.”
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
White people once believed that Africans are subhuman, because they look different. Just because something is widely circulated, doesn’t make it anymore true. I hope you don’t ever complain about racism, you’re backing yourself into a corner with these generalizations. You better be okay with them, when they are applied to you, as a Black man.
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Adonis said
Some generalization are BS. Some generalizations have merit.
Obviously, white supremacists have agendas, so they should be not taken seriously.
Ebonymonroe says
No, you can’t pick and choose generalizations when they are all founded on opinions. A WM could get robbed by a BM after spending a lifetime hearing anti BM propaganda through the American media. His experience would confirm it as true. The media says it’s true, so it could be founded on truth by that standard. But of course, they don’t tell you that the census says BM don’t commit the most crimes, they just choose to pick up every incident of a BM doing something bad, to strengthen the agenda of their propaganda. Now if experience came and confirmed it for the hypothetical WM, does it make it true? No, he would have just had a bad experience. Even if he has multiple experiences, it still wouldn’t make it true for all 15-20 million AAM living in America. Either both have merit, or none of them do, because they’re both conceived using the same methods of generalizing. If White supremacist hatred of BP is founded on a grand agenda, but your hatred for BW is for fun, it doesn’t make your hatred benign, hatred is hatred.
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Adonis @Ebonymonroe
The point that you & other BW like to avoid is that BW like the same type of men, which are usually in short-supply. So a lot of you man-share. Knowingly & unknowingly. The former is usually the case. But women play dumb
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Ebonymonroe says
Where are the stats to back this up. Your idea is true for men and women in general regardless of race. How many men has Jennifer Lopez had? I’ll wait, you’ll need a minute to count. What about Elizabeth Taylor? Exactly. Unless one settles down and stays settled down, attractive individuals will usually have a little of admirers if they so choose. It’s just the way it is.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
You’re completely out of your mind, but it’s funny. Okay Adonis, since I’m a Black woman, and my best friend is a Black woman, what is my type, and what is her type? Go on, since you know us so well?
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Adonis said
Strong social skills
Financially sound
Have decent to great sex skills
Masculine
Lean & muscular, broad shoulders, tight hips.
Ebonymonroe says
Lol, at your boldness with this. No to strong social skills, medium is fine, as long as he’s articulate, I’ve always gone for introverts. No to financially sound, I don’t mind being the biggest breadwinner, I just think you should do your calling, then you’ll be happy; that could be anything from a mechanic to a doctor. For the next, as long as we can listen and learn and care about trying to meet each others’ needs that can be learned. As long as he enjoys it, as the only thing I couldn’t deal with is a low sex drive. Masculine: I like pretty, I like masculine. I like it from Prince in the 80′s, to Larenz Tate, to a fat BM who looks like a lumberjack. For body type, I’m open minded, but I do tend to prefer men who are lean (slim, rangy), and muscular with broad shoulders and tight hips. But I wouldn’t overlook a good looking guy who is a fattyman. When Ice Cube’s bottocks were squeezed in “Next Friday″ I certainly didn’t complain, though I tend to go for a frame with tight buttocks, I’m open minded, I could appreciate it. It’s about character. Men can become attractive just through character. Women like looks, we don’t fall in love with them the way men do.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
To answer your last point about a sudden attraction that stems from a BM having a WW on his arm, I don’t think that’s the case, I think it’s the statistics that keep being circulated about BM marrying out the most, so when BW encounter these couples, it’s like confirmation, and that’s where the slight discomfort comes from. This, however, is simply my perspective.
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Adonis @Ebonymonroe
Google “Social Proofing” and check out the romantic implications.
The thing that BW do not want to admit is that they look up to white women.
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If you are struggling in romantic relationships with BW, statements like this will not help. This is EXTREMELY offensive. I have already explained why I believe BW turn their heads and notice BM who are with WW, so I won’t repeat that. It could be said that BM look up to WM and that’s why they often want what they have: WW and European looking Hispanic women, but that’s neither here nor there. I can’t think of a single BW who looks up to WW. When WW like Miley Cyrus are using BW as stage props, who’s the first to call her out? BW. When people give daps to women like Madonna, and she gets a pass for calling promiscuity “female empowerment” as a WW, who rolls their eyes? BW. When she’s appropriating Black culture, and promoting some pseudo sympathy at the plight of the Black community, by making out with a Black Jesus, and falling into the arms of a Black choir, made up of large, mammy looking Black women, as the angelic WW, failing to see the racial overtones in much of her work, such as, referring to her Black/minority dancers as “cripples she collects,” in one of her documentaries, who calls her out? BW. I really don’t know any BW who look up to WW. The only thing I’ve ever seen BW do, is try to physically emulate a Eurocentric beauty standard to appease men, including their own.
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Adonis said
I am glad you admit that BW do what to be like WW.
Ebonymonroe says
NO! I admitted BM go after non BW so BW try to appease them by looking like non BW. BW do not enjoy being made to feel that their natural hair texture is ugly, or that their complexion is ugly.
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Adonis said
Smart BW call it out. LOUD minority
Ebonymonroe says
The BW who called it out are Black feminists who are always challenging White feminists, As the two movements have nothing to do with one another. BW were fighting WM and WW, while standing beside BM as African Americans, while fighting for their rights as women in America.
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Adonis said
And black feminist want to identify with white feminists.
Ebonymonroe says
Black feminism, in the 70′s, was a reaction to White feminism, after White feminism began trying to lure Black women in for the sake of attaching itself to the recent social perception of that time, “the concept that Black oppression was credible;” through Black women, in order to legitimize White feminism. But instead, Black feminism, which refused to align with White feminism, choosing instead to create its own independent discourse, immediately set about attacking White feminist ideas, (the fact that their ideas were only relevant for middle class White women), and Black feminism’s gripe over the White feminist promotional campaign tactic of projecting the idea that their struggles were equal to the oppressions of the Black community. Before “third world feminism,” or any other forms of feminism, adopted by women of other races and nationalities, Black feminism was actually the very first to reject buying into the narrative that its own male counterpart is the source of oppression.
White middle class feminists tried to market their fight with “their men,” as something that was equal to the sufferings of African Americans, but then, and to this very day, White women are above the social hierarchy of men of color, this is a fact. WW get paid more than BM do, in the same positions.
Black women, have been vulnerable on three grounds, one because of race, two because of gender, and three because of the judicial, social, psychological and economic oppression of “our men,” our fathers, Grandfathers, brothers, uncles, cousins, and our husbands. This vulnerability is completely unique to the Black community, and contrary to political “women’s lib” propaganda, and pop culture belief, we do not, and never have had anything in common with the complaints that were voiced by the White feminist movement.
One key example of this is jobs. We always worked–as maids and servants. In the nuclear Black family, the woman was generally the breadwinner. In no way did we need to fight to be able to be co-breadwinners. The original economic struggle for the Black family unit was about securing well paying jobs for Black men, as well as better wages for Black women, along with more access to education for both.
It is this full scale, relentless pressure cooker that has morphed the nuclear Black family unit into a vulnerable martriarchal set up.
And since race has also been the determining factor of class, I would certainly side with the theory…excuse me…the FACT that race, is over all, the most systemic trigger for social oppression above the three. The oppressions suffered because of gender and class in this group (people of color, and more than any other, the Black community,) are an overlapping disadvantage that is already in place…because of race.
As far as Black feminism, there seems to be a lot of misunderstanding about its roots and what it’s about. The origins of Black feminism was called “The new Negro women movement,” that came about during the Marcus Garvey era, and was a part of “The new Negro movement.” It was created by BM and BW
The new Negro movement.
With its race-conscious and class-conscious demands for political equality, an end to segregation and lynching as well as calls for armed self-defense when appropriate. In 1916–17, Hubert Harrison founded the New Negro Movement. Harrison is called the “father of Harlem Radicalism.” The term “New Negro” inspired a wide variety of responses from its diverse participants and promoters. A militant African American editor indicated in 1920 how this “new line of thought, a new method of approach” included the possibility that “the intrinsic standard of Beauty and aesthetics does not rest in the white race” and that “a new racial love, respect and consciousness may be created.” It was felt that African Americans were poised to assert their own agency in culture and politics instead of just remaining a “problem” or “formula” for others to debate about.
The New Negroes of the 1920s, the “talented tenth,” included poets, novelists and Blues singers creating their art out of Negro folk heritage and history; black political leaders fighting against corruption and for expanded opportunities for African Americans; businessmen working toward the possibilities of a “black metropolis” and Garveyites dreaming of a homeland in Africa. All of them shared in their desire to shed the image of servility and inferiority of the shuffling “Old Negro” and achieve a new image of pride and dignity.The latter era of Black feminism was very similar to the Black liberation concept of “The new Negro women movement.”
Black feminism is defined as.
“Black feminism is not radical White feminism, Black feminism does not focus on competing with men, its focus is reconciling all the atrocities that have been imposed on the Black community. Feminism is the study of women and the female experience, Black feminism is the study of the Black female experience, our history and what we can do to improve the quality of life for ourselves and our communities, but the difference between White feminism and Black feminism is that Black feminism draws from Black liberation in that it demands the community to critically engage with our identity, to separate from colonialized identity dictatorship, and that includes the digestion of media representations of self, for the sake of the whole, not just Black women. One example of the discourse of Black feminism is poverty: Black feminism engages the origins of poverty, assesses how we can independently restructure a system for the empowerment of the Black community. It’s focused on the reconciling of Black families, Black marriage and parenthood. Black feminism is focused on reconciling with our own culture (Black liberation,) to empower our own community. Black feminism is a discourse that seeks to work to restructure the community in a way that benefits the entire Black community and to disengage with White hegemony, and that includes disconnecting with the internalizing of racism (neo racism, Black on Black,) and mimicking White misogyny (and even misandry), as it theorizes that both the historical, and the present system of White patriarchy is just as harmful to Black males as well as Black women and the community as a whole. Black feminism is Black women working with Black men for Black liberation. Black feminism recognizes the intersectionality of oppression, the oppression of Black men because of race, the oppression of Black women because of race and gender, and the oppression of the Black community because of pervasive poverty, and therefore, issues relating to class.”
In ancient Africa, we had a hierarchy of honor and respect. But we differed from White society in that we were more rooted in the concept of village/community/family life. There were eras (like the hunting era,) where women stayed at home with the children and the men went to gather food. And there were eras (like the planting era,) where men stayed at home with the children and the women were the food gatherers. There were many eras in African family life in terms of how it was structured in order for family life to be as productive as possible, but we never had the gender issues and gender hatred that White society came to know.
While these issues have not stopped White supremacy, Black feminism and Black liberation as a whole, theorizes that the attempts to mimic White society, have caused more disunity, oppression and poverty than benefit for the Black community. Black feminism is rooted in Black liberation. One of the most well known Black feminists, Bell Hooks, was one of the first feminists to insist that men’s rights, particularly Black men’s rights be addressed. Black feminism was the first form of feminism to refuse to buy into the narrative that its male counterpart was the source of oppression and the first to include its own men in the narrative of “the oppressed.” Black feminism is essentially Black women using their voices to speak out for the community as a whole. When you discredit Black feminism you discredit celebrated examples in Black feminism such as Bell Hooks (who has always been vocal for Black men,) all the way to Harriet Tubman. It would be a shame to downplay the contributions of these Black women.
White women sought to mimick the Black movement to validate their plight as women, Black feminism has always distanced itself from White feminism. Go to twitter and check #solidarityisforwhitewomen It was a huge twitter storm where Black women began attacking the hypocrisy of White feminists and voicing the enminity between Black feminism and White feminism. No, BW do not want to be White feminists. The credible academic discourse of your story as a Black man in America, could come from the hands of a Black feminist. The social protests for you across America could come from a Black feminists/womanist. You indirectly allude to being concerned about hyper-masculinity (violent, hyper-sexual, child abandoning men), in the community, as well as BW allowing themselves to sexually exploited by not valuing their bodies; which leads to OOW children. Well, Black feminists have been crying out about this, possibly before you and I were born.
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Adonis said
“So, in their eyes, if a particular white woman is checking for a black male, then that black male is more attractive because he has that white woman on his arm.
But if he was alone, he would be invisible to said black woman”
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Ebonymonroe said
See above
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Adonis said
You are in denial
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Ebonymonroe says
I’ve answered this. I spoke on confirmation. People always want what they can’t have. Women tend to find men more attractive when they’re with someone, men do the same with women. We’re social beings, and our sense of value is probably the same. When someone has something and enjoys it, all of a sudden you want it, too. Women are just as competitive as men, BW and WW are natural enemies, add the confirmation theory; it’s pretty easy to see how BW will notice a BM with a WW more.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
I must add that over the last few years, I’ve heard the reactions from BW change. BW tend to come from the position of “I don’t mind if BM are with non BW, as long as you’re not spewing hatred of BW to justify it. Just leave us out of it.”
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Adonis said
“I have heard that too. But anytime IR dating is brought up with black women on a relevant blog, the comment section blows up. Case & Point. This thread. So, it is deeper than a “hatred for BW. It still rubs a lot of BW the wrong way. And it should not”
Ebonymonroe says
Testing how BW feel about BM with non BW via a blog is too small of a sample to say. It’s not credible. I saw on another website, made up mostly of AAW, a BM started taunting them about BM marrying out, they said they don’t care, and started mocking the lack of response, writing about “crickets.” If they’re not by now, they’ll get used to it.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
Do you understand that BW outnumber BM? Do you understand that BM marry out the most? Do you understand that 1 in 3 BM have served time, meaning they will struggle to find employment? Do you understand that when women raise you, live in a world where they are constantly told they’re the least beautiful as the antithesis of WW, go marching for you when things hit the fan, raise your children, desire you, write love songs about you, like Angie Stone’s “Brotha,” and have a deep affection for you as “their men,” why it may sting when you turn around and choose non BW over them more than any other group of males choose other women over their own? There is no longer enough AAM for AAW, this is just fact. So why wouldn’t it matter. I personally think BW should just put it to bed, but I understand where they’re coming from. There are even angry BW posters on this thread, who have gotten angry over the emotional outbursts of BW complaining about BM not reciprocating, which many BW now find embarrassing. But if you have had a historical amount of trauma as a group, if you’ve fought, marched, and stood with your men, trying to find a better quality of life, as a group, and then your men become the statistic that jumps ship the most for the women who oppressed them, and still oppress them in a court of law today, you have to see how that stings. Other than that, I’ve answered this question. See my last post to you.
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Adonis said
Again, Black women have preferences, and sometimes black men get rejected, so if I don’t agree with that there is not enough black men to go around.
But there are not enough ATTRACTIVE BLACK MEN TO GO AROUND.
Ebonymonroe says
Mathematically, no, there are roughly 1 million more AAW than there are AAM. Bring in the other factors and it becomes all the more valid. But I get what you’re saying. You’re not seeing BW making the effort to find a suitable mate, and valuing the prospect of marriage. I hate to say it, but young men and women are out of control. Look at shows like the “Jersey Shore,” artists like “Rihanna.” Don’t go to the latest nightclub looking for a wife dancing to Lil Wayne, go to Jazz spots, Neo soul clubs, church, neighborhood barbeques. Go to classy places to find class… But trust me, we contend with finding a suitable mate with class, just as much.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
Fat: Black men, Black women, Hispanic men, and Hispanic women, are leading in obesity in the UK. This is an economic problem. Cats argue that sistas are fat, but both Black and Hispanic men and women, dominate in obesity in the US due to a lack of healthy nutrition, due to the cost of an organic diet vs. the low cost of GM foods.
When push comes to shove, Black men and women are fat in the US
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Adonis said
Agreed. But weight affects BW more than BM. Fat BM are not an issue with BW, but fat BW are problematic for BM.
Ebonymonroe says
Obesity will always be more prevalent in the female counterpart, because women store more body fat. And, no, you have said yourself that BW only want “attractive BM.” Being fat is not usually considered “attractive.” In the Caribbean community, a lot of men like fat women, I’m thick, but because I have a small waist, I would be considered too small for these men, so, no I would not say you know what every BM feels about fat women, to be able to speak for all of them. Secondly, if you were a well adjusted human being, you could actually marry a BW, and bring home a paycheck to put organic fruits, vegetables, non processed brown carbs, organic meats, free range poulty, and raw unprocessed dairy, on the kitchen table. You could even buy a water filter, so your family isn’t consuming chlorine, in their drinking water. You could stock a room in your home with free weight equipment, to build healthy muscle, which burns fat, and purchase cardio and stretch exercise DVD’s, to exercise the heart, burn calories, and keep fit. You could both help towards pilates lessons, to stay flexible and to work on your posture, for the betterment of your bodies, and your digestive systems. But, until you’re in a home helping, there’s not much you can say, cause as sistas used to sing in the 80′s, ain’t nothing going on but the rent.
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Adonis said
BW are more outraged with BM who date out.
Ebonymonroe says
I went over to Lipstickalley, which is regarded as one of the most ratchet US BW websites. They don’t seem to care; the BW I know don’t seem to care. Maybe you need to hang around some different BW. Or tell them to shut up, that you don’t want them; and I’m sure they’ll stop bothering you, out of dignity.
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Adonis said
Black men who are boring.
Black men who lack finances (when it is convenient)
Ebonymonre says
I make more money in my profession than my old man does, in his, my sister makes more money than her husband, because she has a degree and he’s blue collar; my eldest sister made more money than her husband for a long time. I’m not hurting for money, so as long as a dude has some direction on what he wants to do with his life, in terms of being a productive member of society, as a Black feminist/womanist, I believe in differences between men and women, and I believe in differences in the priorities of our needs. But, other than that, if a dude wanted to be a stay at home dad, one day, if that makes him happy, since I don’t believe in roles, then I’d be cool with it . Relationships are about compromise, and all people vary; once again, you cannot say what all BW want from BM, because you don’t know every BW in America. Secondly, WW are not checking for you, to marry you in droves until you hit the 100,000 mark, so it’s us who are here when you’re broke and ashy, nobody else. And the definition of boring is relative from person to person. My old man’s laid back, he’s the homebody, I like to go out. He’s outspoken, I tend to be quite. We’re both pretty boring when it comes to it, but we enjoy each other.
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I had to put them into three full posts, as they’re too long. Adonis, you’re gonna have to wait. Two of the posts are in moderation. Abagond, other than the three posts of mine today. You can delete all my other posts in the open thread. As I’ve said, the typing was butchered. In case you get confused @Abagond
The first post to keep= on Sun 20 Oct 2013 at 16:38:03
The second post to keep= on Sun 20 Oct 2013 at 16:45:05
The third post to keep= on Sun 20 Oct 2013 at 16:46:00
Thanks
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@EbonyMonroe
I was not rushing you.
But your disorganization puts a damper on your greatness, that is why I use the BLOCKQUOTE, BOLD & ITALICS liberally.
Also, put your writing in some type of writing program, so you will not lose your work. I have made that mistake years ago.
I know you are smart, so I will leave you be for the rest.
Presentation, unfortunately matters.
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@Adonis
I’ve only just began reading your responses, and I just wanted to say that, we are, for the most part, in agreement.
It is my understanding that
1. You’re seeing behaviors among BW, in your neck of the woods, that make finding a BW with the reasonable qualities that any man would require in a wife, difficult. And that you feel these patterns of behavior, are quite possibly going on All across America, causing the level of OOW children rate, in Black America, to be as high as it is.
And 2. As women, BW have the power, as those who bring forth the next generation, to make sure they’re giving their children the best possible start in life, by being cautious and settling down into stable family units, before they have children. You feel this power BW have, can and does shape many of the problems the Black community, and even BW, later have to suffer in.
I agree. I haven’t been to America in a long, long time. I have no idea what’s going on over there. I suppose, as a BW, I’m more inclined to defend BW, because I’ve encountered ratchet BM, as a heterosexual BW, who’s dealt with BM. But, you, as a BM, will be more inclined to defend BM, because as a heterosexual BM, you’ve encountered plenty of ratchet BW. So you know it’s not just down to BM, as many people like to believe.
When I was in America, not every BM I encountered, but many of them were some of the most impressive brothas I’d ever come across. I know many BW in the UK who would gladly swap places with many of the sistas over there. I know there are great BW over there, I don’t understand why you guys are finding it so hard to find one another. I will say this about “the good guy thing.” I think a lot of “good guys” don’t understand how important it is to play hard to get. You don’t wanna be too nice, and too available. I had to teach my stepbrothers this. Men and women both respond to mystery; you have to play it nonchalant in the beginning, it shouldn’t be that way, but it is. I don’t know if that will help anyone, but who knows?
I just wanted to add this, because after reading your opening responses, my position has somewhat softened towards you, after gaining a better understanding of where you’re coming from, and the source of your frustration. Although, perhaps when I scroll down, I’ll regret that. Lol. But for now, for the most part, we are in agreement.
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@ Adonis
Don’t worry about the length of your posts, mines are no better.
I set it out according to tense, meaning, where it says “Adonis said,” “Ebonymonre says,” that’s the place we’re up to.
1. I must say that for all the points I made, (which will hopefully be more clear, once they’re out of moderation), you did a terrible job at countering them. You’ve used nothing but personal bad experiences, confirmation bias, stereotypes, and assumptions to counter me.
2. No, my point was never that BM rap!sts shouldn’t be punished. My comparison was BM who sell w33d, but serve years more than WM rapists, p3dophiles and murderers.
2. My mother is not a BW, so that should shut you up. And do not insult my mother, that is crossing the line. My mother and father were together for 18 years. They were engaged, happy, and planning to wed. It was the time of “The African centre” and “Ronnie Scott’s” (famous Black British clubs in London); it was the era of Sade, “Loose ends,” and “Soul to soul,” during Afrocentric boho London. The only reason why they broke up was because my mother became a born again Christian. My father has two masters’ degrees; he’s travelled the world. My mother is married now, she’s college edcated, and was never a welfare mother. I am not, nor will I ever be a single Black mother on welfare. Both of my sisters are married with kids, to brothas; and they’re both college educated. And I plan to settle down with my partner in the next few years. So you can k!ll all that. Whatever you think you know about me and my family just because we’re Black and started off in the projects, you’ve got very, very wrong.
3. You keep complaining about BW only wanting attractive BM, while saying you only want a good looking BW. You complain that you want a BW who is close to being a virgin, while you allude to being a male harl0t. You seem to want the BW that is everything you’re not. You lose credibility from sentence to sentence. With all that said, even though my comments are not out of moderation yet, I can assure you that I HAVE WON THIS DEBATE! Fair and square, and nobody can tell me otherwise. Now, Adonis, who’s your daddy?
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14. @EbonyMonroe
I will debate this twice. I just wanted laugh so hard at this BS.
WHAT IS THE DRUG OF CHOICE IN THE UK?
I need some whatever you guy to get HIGH on.
Just because I am not in the Oxford, Harvard newspaper, doesn’t mean that what I & AMERICAN black MEN go through are invalid.
And if these academic studies out here (some of these people are ON THE TAKE) swing & miss. So, go figure.
This is FAR from over.
But I need to handle some business.
I told you @Sondis & @KS THIS is better than any strip club in the world.
None of us had to be CASH MONEY for this sh-t.
Shout out to Abagond.
Good Day. See You Soon.
I am ON ONE.
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@EbonyMonroe
Pay Cash Money for*
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@Abagond
I have two posts in moderation. In one of the posts, there is a youtube BW civil rights leader interview video, that I neglected to put in brackets. (You might enjoy it Abagond. She’s inher 90’s but you wouldn’t know it. The interview is about 15 minutes long). If you have the time, can you please pop in the brackets, so they don’t have to be permanently sent to the moderation grave?
@Adonis
I hope you realise, one of the Black girls, who you said you are happy died, who’s death was a result of police brutality, was only a young child. I believe she was between 5-8 years old. She was sleeping on the couch, after having fallen asleep, watching TV. The police, ignoring protocol, burst through the doors, throwing weaponry through the windows, beforehand. The blanket covering her little body, as she slept, caught fire. She was burned alive. Her family, including her grandmother, screamed and pleaded with the officers, trying to alert them to her, as her little body was being consumed by the flames, but the officers restrained them. I’m glad the horrific death of a little Black girl, just a few short years out of her toddler years, tickles you pink. Another one of the deaths was the death of a Black girl who was shot in the head, for no reason. She was just barely out of her teens. I’m glad you find pleasure in these tragedies.
Secondly, I never said BM control Hip Hop, I meant that young BM could reject casually using the languages and ideologies of commercial/gangsta rap to BW, in real life. Like calling BW h0es, or female dogs. Both of which, you have done throughout this debate. That is something YOU DO HAVE THE POWER TO DO. And, it is silly to acknowledge that BM do not control Hip hop, and then turn around and say BW do. The major purchasing power behind Hip hop, is White suburban males, not BW. BW make up 75% of the music purchasing demographic in the Black community, but the Black community only makes up 75,000 units from music release, to music release, on average. So just because you see a few hoodrats at a lil Wayne concert, doesn’t mean BW are the powers behind such artists. Lastly, when Black women do take the kind of content in mainstream Hip hop to task, like they did in the twitter topic #blackpowerisforblackmen, BM, including you, criticise it. So, when BW speak out, they are told to be quite, and when BW don’t speak out, they’re told they obviously agree with it. This is the contradictive narrative in the Black community, this is the oppression that BW are often under, it is just far more serious when applied to areas that have greater implications, to Hip hop music. This, is what you call patriarchy.
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@Adonis
You said the r@pes and g@ngrapes of BG’s is simply down to choices. What about Chicago and the hundreds if not thousand of BM who have been killed, and the hundreds of BGs who have been r@ped or g@ngraped, in that deteriorating city? There was a brotha who posted about it on his website, and surprise, surprise, a BM responded saying, don’t worry about the BGs, they don’t matter, they’re worthless. I consider myself a pretty easy going person, so I guarantee you, there is no point in marrying a BW. You say once you marry a BW, you plan to go even harder on BW than you are now, no self respecting BW is going to be able to deal with that. There’s truly no point, as easy going as I am, you BW bashers literally make my skin crawl; she will end up leaving. I won’t be able to keep up the debate. Here’s an interesting article about the hatred in our community for Black women, written by a Black man…
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(Many, not Most) Black Men hate Black Women…
Disclamer: My consligiare’ Verb suggested I make clear that I am not saying ALL Black men are participants in the type of activity I am about to describe, nor that ALL Black men hate Black women, I hardly believe that this is the reality for the majority, but for a significant part of our group, significant enough that it warrents immediate and exact action. Basically, its not that “MOST” Black men hate our sisters, but far too many do.
One of my favorite bloggers (and possible cousin) Rosyln had mentioned in a discussion we had at the What About our Daughters blog, the frequency of “trains” or gang rapes that occur within the African American community. Rosyln had stated that these things occur more often than people would like to believe. Well, there was a time I would have thought that her position was an overstatement, however; with reports about things like Dunbar, the 11 year old girl in Milwaukee, and the recent attack and rape of a woman in Philadelphia I had to think about what Rosyln had said.
At the same time I was finally getting around to reading a book that my wife had given me a while ago, that being “Makes me Wanna Hollier” by Nathan McCall. I had just got to chapter 6 of his book “Trains” and was horrified at what I read. he talks about how he and his boys would run trains on 13 and 14 year old girls (amongst other things), and what shocked me most is how similar his story sounded to many stories guys told me of their “exploits” when I was a teenager.
There were many times guys would tell me about their participation in such events and I just would assume they were lying about a girl that wished they could get with. I am not so sure how many times they were actually lying now. The young ladies would deny it (who wouldn’t) and the perps wouldn’t give legal culpability admissions, just locker room talk.
What I do know is that when I was 13 myself, I hung out with some older teens (14-19), we had this little dance group. Anyway, there was a young lady who was like a groupie of sorts, followed us around. One day, the guys got her over to one of the members of our team’s house when his parents were gone. Long story short, they decided to use her because she was “willing”.
This girl was also 13 at the time, but it didn’t matter to any of them. I arrived at the house expecting for one of our practices to take place, when I was told downstairs there was a girl who was available to “de-virginize” me. I get down there, and there is the last 2, literally in line (in front of her while she was being raped by the guy before them) to do what the other 8 members who were there were slapping hands about doing. I was horrified, I knew this girl from grade school, I knew she had a crush on one of the older guys particularly, she and I had talked about how she liked him, but everyone else she seemed to be allowed to do this to her because he had basically thrown her to the wolves after he had taken advantage of her (he was 19).
I’ll never forget the look on her face, these guys believed she actually wanted to do this (maybe there are some women who would, but 17, 18 & 19 year old guys might want to find an actually “consenting” adult if this is what gives them thrills). In this case, this was a girl I had been in school with, who looked terrified and had a look in her eyes that she was complying out of fear. I expressed my displeasure at the situation.
Well due to a certain V.ery L.arge “Chicago urban youth group affiliation” I had (By nature as they looked out for me because I DJ’ed some of their sets), even at 13 I had a bit of an intimidation factor going as these guys never wanted my older friends and associates of this “V.ery L.arge” Chicago youth group to visit them, I was able to “persuade them” to discontinue what they were doing, so they allowed for the young lady get dressed. Then I walked her home.
She held her head down and said very little to me. All she said to me was a request that I promise not to tell anyone what happened, and I agreed. I said that what they did to her was wrong, and she said that it was her fault because she trusted the 19 year old and thought he liked her.
When I got back to the house, the guys were all bragging about what they had done, how much she “liked” it, the fact they thought they had “broke in a virgin”, turned her out, etc., etc. I was cussed out by the 2 guys who didn’t get their turn (they were both a year older than I and the youngest guys there besides me), and I was called sissy and “gay” by the older guys because I didn’t take a turn. Some said I was “soft” or “catching feelings” for a “b—-“, and wasn’t a real man, etc.
Honestly, I thought that was a rare event, when other guys said they had participated in this sort of thing, I thought they were just rehashing a story that they had heard, now I believe I may have been seriously wrong. Another thing came to mind as I read Nate’s book. This happened to my mother when she was 17 about 6 months after I was born.
For those who don’t know, my mother died at 42 from a disease cause by alcoholism. Don’t get me wrong, my mother was a great mother, she sacrificed for me in ways I have just begun to appreciate, especially sine I have children of my own now, one of my regrets is that I didn’t tell her how much I appreciated her more often. My mom’s alcoholism was caused by her not being able to handle (or handling in the wrong way) many of the traumatic things that happened to her in her youth, and one of things happened to her on a visit to her father in Detroit.
My grand dad (whom I never met when I was old enough to remember) had married my grandma when she was 12, my grandma had my mother when she was 13, so she wasn’t the best mother to my mom (not necessarily because of her age). Anyway, my grandma left my grand dad when she was in her 20’s, she put my mom out when she had me, so my mom ended up living with my grand dad for a while.
She told me this story when I was 19. When she was in Detroit , my grand dad got mad at her for something and threw her and me (at 6 mos) out. It was late, past midnight. My mother was walking past what was known as a drug house run by gang members. Long story short some guys forced her into the house (one she knew from previous visits), put a gun to my 6 month old head and threatened to kill me if she didn’t comply. She survived that situation, but was forever traumatized by it. There are too many issues there to talk about in one post, parental responsibility (and grand parental responsibility) being chief amongst those issue, however, I will focus on what my step dad had to say about it, that being “Your mom shouldn’t had been up in Detroit anyway”. I will always remember that.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my dad (my step day is the dad who raised me), and overall I think he did a decent job as far as provision and some morality, however; I am thankful I didn’t pick up his backward Mississippi (no offense meant to Mississippi people) Black man mentality towards women. He would always ask me how many girlfriends I had, and if I said 1, he said I should have 5 more. Amazing. This gets to my point.
Before I get to that point, I am not putting myself up their as a beacon of nobility, you see I have come to the understanding and am of a firm belief that any man is capable of raping a women under certain circumstances (it comes down to choice), this is predicated on my understanding that ANY human is capable of ANY thing. I come to this by understanding and taking a honest look at history, current society and myself. For the most part, from my observation, people are selfish and self centered, which breeds a lack of concern for others, which leads to all manner of evil, but that’s a whole ‘nother post. Basically, I think people choose to act “good” (or civil), for fear of consequence.
That being said, I believe that from my observations and experiences I might know a way that we can combat this sick mentality that seems prevalent in our community. I have come to an understanding that Generally, the garden variety sociopath or psychopath who is the ring leader of these “trains” or gang rapes is a lost cause from the jump, its the “go along to get along” brothers who are the greater problem and the problem we might be able to affect change in.
The garden variety sociopath or psychopath who is the ring leader wouldn’t get far in these types of situations if someone, the average guy that is present had the moral center and basis to KNOW that women and girls are PERSON deserving of respect and dignity. Maybe they would stop it, talk the other brothers to their senses, or run like hell and call the police. I am talking to Black men, not because I think this sort of activity is exclusive to the “Black Community” (we know that woman hatred and rape goes beyond color or culture), but because our racial hang ups contribute towards the overall low attitude of Black women and girls in general.
Mr. McCall wrote in his book: “I realized that we thought we loved our sisters but that we actually hated them. We hated them because they were black and we were black, and on some level much deeper than we realized, we hated the hell out of ourselves”.
And I believe he is absolutely on point in that. Black men have got to stop hating Black women and stop teaching young black me to do the same. From that hate (predicated on self hate) comes lack of regard, honor or concern for women who share our color.
These crimes are not about sex, they are about power and abuse, a feeling of ownership over another human being, and a false twisted sociological mentality of what “manhood” is. Black men however, are not the only problem.
Black women enable this. Treating young black boys as princes and treating young black girls as paupers. Black women have an enmity towards black girls (especially when it comes to their sons) often raising their daughters to be subservient to men, teaching both their daughters and sons (by their actions most often) primarily that the worth of a Black girl is their hips, and whats between their legs. All that “man gonna be a man” and “girls are trying to catch you up” drivel just perpetuates this madness. There are actually WOMEN and GIRLS who set other women and girls up for these gang rapes.
Media is part of the problem, but the bigger problem starts in our neighborhoods, streets, families and living rooms. WHAT we teach.
Take church for example. Often girls are told to remain chaste, sometimes getting put out if they get pregnant; yet boys are also compelled to remain chaste ( they may get some lip service), but overall they get the implied wink from their elders that “boys will be boys”.
That is the sort of schizophrenic teaching that has to stop. Also in the homes, Fathers often teach their daughters to be pure, but encourage their sons to lose their virginity as soon as possible, again schizophrenic.
In the streets guys respect each others mothers (and sometimes sisters, girlfriends, wives and daughters) but all other women (who are generally someone else’s sister,other, daughter, girlfriend or wife) are b—— who don’t deserve respect and are simply there to pleasure them. It all comes down to our community’s collective socialization. It starts with each one of US.
I’m just saying…
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Source…
http://djblackadam.typepad.com/damnitq/2008/06/black-men-hate-black-women.html
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As far as Tommy Sotomayor, if it does end up helping the community, (which I very much doubt it will), then I am all for it. But Tommy has a history of getting mad whenever anyone says anything nice about Black women, this offends him, he has said it himself, he hates Black women, that’s the place he’s coming from, it’s not to bring up problems so that we can call them out and fix them, even if he drops that as the reason why he does what he does every now and then. When I first came across his videos, I thought he was doing something positive for the community by being honest, but I soon realized that that is not the case. At that point I just switched off. He’s got tons of White followers getting a kick out of this stuff, and self-professed White supremacists at that.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-cTLUCIMpo)
How does implying that Trayvon’s death was his own fault, and calling Trayvon’s mother a hair hatted hooligan help the Black community?
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcQe1sujips)
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSnj0SDjkQ8)
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JinmEGhd6Kw)
How can you preach about how lighter skinned Black women are far superior, physically, and as people, and then turn around and question why, and mock some darker skinned Black women for struggling to see themselves as beautiful, living in a very Western part of the world, where many of their own men spew that kind of inferiority garbage? How can you generalize all Black women with children outside of marriage for what could be any number of reasons when you yourself have children out of wedlock? How can you accuse Black women of being disloyal golddiggers, or women who think they’re better as soon as they get educated and get some money, one minute, and then advise a Black woman, to accept the fact that if she marries a man and has kids with him, stays loyal for years on end and then he leaves her to be a single parent when he gets on, that she’s making a fool of herself by not understanding that “all brothas” are gonna leave and upgrade their family when they get money? (Dwayne Wade.)
How are you gonna preach that White women have never taken any part in the brutalities inflicted upon Black men during slavery, that only White men did, so Black women are shameful and a disgrace, for dating and marrying interracially, but Black men are exempt? Then two minutes later, say you don’t have anything against Black women marrying interracially? He doesn’t even make any sense. Where is the real value in this? It seems to me that he just likes to call things out as a shame tactic so he can rub salt in the wounds wherever he can find them. He’s just been hurt so now he wants every Black woman on earth to hurt, when really, he is “the angry Black woman,” with multiple kids by different women, no job, with domestic violence cases, which includes a restraining order, and a severe attitude problem, to top it all off. The very stereotypes that he labels all Black women with. He even said he doesn’t see himself as Black in one video but South American, because he has a great grandmother who was, and then he wants to talk about self hate. There’s even an interview with him saying he makes money off of Black people because they’re stupid and they’re easy. That’s a sad way to be man.
There are other brothas who discuss these things on youtube, but you can tell that their heart is in the right place. There are a few White, and “other men,” who discuss the problems they’ve encountered with their women, but the TS’s are the only cats spewing pure hatred at their own women in public, for sport, and then these cats wonder why White men don’t respect them and view them as their equals, as men? You’ve even got some White women in the comment section, saying things like “boy your men are really awful, I feel so sorry for you.” There’s even White and Hispanic guys who are married to Black women, cursing at these dudes and the videos, in the comment section, and getting mad at the generalizations and degradation, I mean what kind of upside down mind trip is that?
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UDuCBD62XI)
He even has a video where he spewed “the Larry Elder speech,” about Zimmerman and how we shouldn’t be attacking Zimmerman, Black people are the people we should be looking at. I couldn’t believe he exploited Trayvon’s death to sit there and talk about some insignificant hate mail he gets from Black people who send him emails, with his followers chiming in, saying “Trayvon deserved it anyway, he was just a thug who got what was coming to him.” It is truly disgusting.
There have been multiple complaints from men, with youtube accounts, who have been removed because they politely questioned Tommy’s contradictions when it comes to White women vs. Black women, or just Black women, or the Black community in general, as he often pumps up his followers to flag any and all who disagree, even if they’re just respectfully engaging. And God forbid, if it’s a Black woman who politely disagrees, he’ll humiliate her, curse her, tell her she’s an ugly ghetto gagger, a n!gge& b!tch, tell her she’s a beast. I’ve come across him doing this on Twitter, I mean it’s extreme. If it’s a brotha, if he can find any pictures or evidence of the brotha’s girlfriend, or wife, and female children, he’ll begin cyber stalking and bullying them, along with his followers.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkIV0bX8KwE)
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRUQ-mWF4n8)
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbZpUnKVRjI)
There’s even this brotha on youtube, who’s known for being quite honest and frank about how some Black women in our community behave, and let themselves down. He just so happened to make one video about the fact that too many Black women have suffered sexual abuses in our community, and no one speaks out about the damage this does. He spoke on how many sistas in his family, and among his group of Black female friends, have been vulnerable to some pretty bad abuses, and he theorized about how some of this behavior is acting out and can sometimes be attributed to these experiences. He also made a random observation in saying that he makes it a point to be even in looking at our flaws as both Black men and Black women. Tommy saw this, took offense and dedicated a twenty minute video to calling him ugly, and laughing at, and taunting the brotha for being raised by a single Black mother, because he didn’t like the fact that he was sympathizing as well as calling out, instead of just humiliating and attacking Black women. But this is the way he goes on. There were even brothas who got on there and blamed all and only Black women/mothers for this issue, just like you.
How can you say things like “I’m always happy when I’m around White people, but as soon as I’m in the company of Black men and women, my life gets ruined?” He may throw in something of value every now and then, but the fact that the bulk of his work is so destructive, makes it all so dangerous. Through some bad experiences, he has internalized White supremacist languages, doctrines/ideologies, and has taken to regurgitating them for today.
Growing up, all I ever saw was men leaving their children, or sitting back on the coach while their woman held down two or three jobs, cooked, cleaned and raised the kids. All I ever saw was men beating up women, all the time, I’ve actually never seen a man beat a woman for being physically attacked first (not that that doesn’t happen.) Even rape was funny to dudes in my old neighborhood and it didn’t come down to it being a matter of who the women picked because this is just the way the vast majority of cats were. A sista could vet a dude as carefully as possible, take as much time as possible to really get to know him, and then and only then, put her good faith in him and take a gamble, commit to giving her all and pray for the best, (which is all you can really do when all is said and done.) Or you could choose to be alone forever.
But despite my own personal experiences and the things that I’ve witnessed, I am able, as a logical thinking young woman, to understand that it is not about race or gender or both. It doesn’t matter what I’ve come across, I’m not gonna sit up here and say that Black men are the enemy because that’s simply not true. I could never generalize my own Black men, degrade and publicly humiliate them and then turn around and worship White men. It’s the content of the character, and many times in poverty stricken neighborhoods, you’re going to see the worst of human beings. And the funny thing is, now I’m not taking away from everyone taking personal responsibility for their own actions instead of resting on excuses, but I’m smart enough to recall the fact that there wasn’t always a difference in the way that the Indian and the White guys behaved in my neighborhood, because it was the environment that ultimately determined what was socially acceptable. The conscience is God given, values are learned, morality is often relative. Race was not the determining factor, nature/nurture.
It is also my own personal belief that people often fall into a “manifest destiny realization syndrome,” where one has had who and what “they are,” (no good, ugly, violent, poor, destructive, victim, perpetrator), drummed into their head so intensely and for such a prolonged period of time, that they eventually begin to walk it out. The power cards aren’t even held in the hands of Black women or men in order for us to be the puppet masters instigating some sort of conspiracy to destroy the Black man, contrary to what we are being accused of.
We have all gone through some things and we have all been hurt. But behaviors should be attacked, not race, or the gender of a race. We see exactly where this demonizing got us in the first place…a great deal of psychological damage, self hate, the digestion of White supremacist thought as being the absolute truth, and the poisonous disunity of brotha against brotha, sista against sista, sista against brotha, and brotha against sista. You can use colorful language for the sake of controversy to court attention as much as you want, but the question is where is it coming from and what’s the true intent?
Since one of Willie Pete’s followers has already killed a Black woman for being Black and female, I’m wondering how long it will be until the next? Maybe one of the TS followers or someone from the site diary of a tired Black man, where post after post was written in reaction to that young Black girl’s death, about how “it’s so sad that Black women are so evil that they eventually drove that man to kill that innocent Black girl, but who knows? Maybe she deserved it;” as soon as the news of her death came. I don’t really understand why cats don’t just completely ditch sistas and we won’t even exist in a few short generations? The solution seems pretty clear to me. This is all so deeply disturbing, I never saw this day coming. I guess Pac’s “Keep your head up” was real prophesy.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iECzrhEY-no)
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Its only hard for the maladjusted…most emotionally and sexually healthy Black adults don’t have this problem; see the Toldson and Marks study.
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Also Abagond, i want to do a guest post.
Thanks!
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Adonis:
“I told you @Sondis & @KS THIS is better than any strip club in the world.
None of us had to be CASH MONEY for this sh-t.”
Ain’t that the TRUTH!
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Abagond,
I just emailed my guest post to you!
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“12 Years a Slave ” – any good?
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ebonymonroe @Adonis
I took the liberty of including your answers, as well as my previous answers to make for an easier reading experience; that would account for the length. You continue to spew huge accusations about BW that have so many social angles, that it is extremely difficult to respond with convenient compact answers.
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Adonis @Ebonymonroe
Understood
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
That is why I do not get into these debates, if the person engaging is irrational and purely emotional, because it’s not worth debating opinion, if we are just ignoring facts. One could argue that the world is flat, but no matter how much I dispute that, using legitimate facts, if one is determined to hold their opinion, there is no point. That is not a debate, it’s an argument.
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Adonis @Ebonymonroe
I mostly debate accurate generalizations. With personal account, other personal accounts, blog articles, cross referencing, OUT OF BLACK WOMEN’s OWN MOUTHS. And actions.
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Ebonymonroe says
So you’re saying… “Ebonymonroe, my information is credible, because of my experiences, my walk of life that is so miniscule in the scope of things; the experiences of a few of my friends, a few anti-black articles on blogs made by a White supremacist media structure; by hearing a few BW I know talk, and watching what they have done.” How is this credible? This goes back to the example I gave of a WM listening to anti-BM media propaganda, and then coming to the conclusion that it’s true because he got robbed by one. This is why I say, either the KKK AND YOU, are credible, or neither is. Because you both rely on generalizations that hold no real statistical weight as it relates to all BM and BW, or in your case just BW.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
Black women engineer their misfortune as children and as women?
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Adonis said
When you don’t get married to capable men, YES.
When you have children before you are ready? YES
Ebonymonroe says
This was a question I asked in regards to you saying 60% of Black girls being raped or sexually assaulted/molested from birth to the age of 18, is down to choices. You didn’t answer my question. So you’re saying social construct plays no part in it, rape happens because BW choose the wrong men to marry (since 75% do), and BG’s and children are molested because of their mothers. Well since BM, statistically, spend the most time with their children, it is not as if they’re not involved in there daughters’ lives for the responsibility not to be on them, as well. And since 88% of married AAM marry AAW, you’re saying this 88% of AAM are not capable men? Dude, you’re backing yourself so far into a corner with this, that you’re starting to resemble a White kid doing “time-out.”
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
The same could be said for BM,
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Adonis said
Most black men own it, and suffer in silence. And it is still not socially acceptable for BM to air out their grievances. They have to just grin & bear it.
Ebonymonroe says
From the blues, to Hip hop, to Black power movements and the civil rights movement, to you saying Black girls being killed by police brutality, don’t matter because the BM mortality rate is higher. BM have been complaining about their lives, singing the blues, and playing the oppression Olympics forever. It has always been socially acceptable for you to air out your grievances, we are not allowed. Many BM are offended by movies like “Waiting to exhale” and “For colored girls.” It is the other way around in my opinion. Your grievances have always taken precedence over ours. Even during the civil rights movement, when oftentimes, we were doing most of the work…
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UG7YCgkXTo)
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
but I can’t, because I know there are so many variables, and cycles of oppressive social constructs that lead to the state of the Black community as a whole.
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Adonis @Ebonymonroe
I get it. And for the most part, you hold black men & women to the same victim standard.
I hold black men & women to the same personal responsibility standard.
Both work. The problem is when you use one standard for one group, and another standard for the other group.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
I’m not able to blame BM for their oppressions, but I’m not able to blame BW for theirs either. That is the difference, here.
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Ebonymonroe says
Adonis, I can’t imagine how many times I have said that many of the problems BM AND BW face, are self inflicted. Actually, in one of my first posts in the interracial thread (where this debate began), I said that we are very much responsible for our own continued oppression, and we are clearly not about changing it. The difference between me and you, is you compare BW to non BW, while not acknowledging the different walk of life non BW have in comparison to BW. But then when I bring that up, you say I’m painting the Black community out to be victims. For the last time. The problems BM AND BW face, are often very much self inflicted, but on the same token, there are many social constructs that make the situations, the epidemics, the disadvantaged positioning, the general problems, that the Black community faces, an uphill battle to overcome. Many BM and BW do, but we are a few short generations post the civil rights movement, and is SHOULD go without saying, that since they’re human beings, BM AND BW are often falling into the pitfalls that are all around them, being on the very bottom of the totem pole. Do you know how many innocent BM are thought to be in jail right now? As many as 30%. Do you know how likely it is for girls who have been sexually abused, and/or grow up without a father, and are living under the poverty line, to become unwed mothers? Read this post about the demise of Black marriages and the social constructs that caused our divorce rates, to go from beating out White Americans, to struggling the most, out of all groups. Here’s a post from Abagond’s blog from Satanforce, when responding to a book, that attributed the divorce rates of BM and BW to slavery. As Isaiah Washington’s character, said in “Love Jones,” LET ME BREAK IT DOWN, SO IT CAN FOREVER BE BROKE…
satanforce
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I am always amused by b!tchists, and their b!tchism, especially the type of B!tchism that seems to be evident in the author of this particular book. I am glad Abagond took the time out to expose this guy and his b!tcha55edness in all its glory. What is with these guys? It’s like the only history they know about black people is Slavery, the Tuskegee Airmen, and Nowadays. If they put as much energy into trying to make their self-pity seem like self-esteem, they would be able to realize that they do not need “Proppa Propaganda.” Real history is enough. Real history like The Negr0 family in Slavery, the Tulsa Riots (a black middle class settlement) and even a movie (based on real life) like Rosewood, with its extended family, complete with a black man (GASP), defending his family!
Indeed, most sources show that the black extended family managed to exist in some form during slavery, and remained largely intact post-slavery, up until the late 1960s.
They even got slavery wrong. B!tcha55es. The main reason black men would get caught and sent back was because they hung around the slave plantation when they ran away, or (In Jamaica at least),during the Christmas time when slaves got the day off to celebrate, the black man would run to the plantation where his first love was. Hell. simply digging around shows that black people during the early part of the last century had lower divorce rates than whites.
It would seem that the “demise of Black Love” (late ’60s, around the time of te Moynihan Report) occurred during a time that saw first world countries implement
– massive deindustrialisation of major American cities (containerization and urban policies)
– the loosening of immigration policies, allowing cheap labor to compete with local labor (France with Magrebian, America with Hispanics, Britain with her former colonies)
– the IndoChina conflict (with the attendant military draft)
– massive importation of powerful narcotics into poor areas (like black ghettoes)
– a property crash during the early ’70s
– the reorganization of cities according to the desires of Robert Moses and his disciples, and no one else’s, not even the people who lived there
– neo-liberal policies that shifted state services away from areas with a majority of poor people , to richer areas (like moving the bulk of fire services away from the Bronx and Brooklyn to Manhattan)
– the creation of a legal-industrial complex that arrests and incarcerates black males at a much higher per capita level than their counterparts
Even just two of the above would be enough to cause the level of social breakdown seen in poor black American communities today, never mind the white communities that are have also experienced similar issues (the Rust Belt , for example)
It is good that Abagond exposes these b!tch nigga5, not just so that we may mock them and pour scorn on their writing (seriously, its like they think that the sum total of black history is learnt by watching “Roots”), but also that we may counter their arguments and propose solutions of our own, whether it be on the individual level (exercise, schooling, education, meeting other likeminded individuals), community (guiding little nigga5, community fsrming, taking advantage of fundraising loopholes to create PACs) or on a larger scale (media manipulation a la Shirley Sherrod, setting up thinktanks to influence instituations).
But that’s hard work, isn’t it? Easier to make YouTube videos about Willie Lynch. Easier to pity yourself under the guise of venting (Black Men Vent and Black Women’s Empowerment) and easier to live in past where only enslavement, genocide, failure (a few black inventors) and injustice exist.
It is least we could do honor our ancestors, who dealt with greater hardships than we, yet still managed to survive, and preserve their families so that we could make it here. Wouldn’t you agree?
Oh, and one more thing. Where the hell do you all get off about African-Americans not challenging statistcs? Doesn’t anyone remember:
– Satoshi Kanazawa and his box-plot bullsh!t
– that whole Justice Policy Institute “more black men in than in college crap”
– the CDCs black woman herpes statistics
– Barack Obama and Bill Cosby stating that black men are responsible for out of wedlock marriage (I didn’t know that black men reproduced asexually), and ignoring cohabitation, stepfathers and visiting arrangements.
People, have some f**king pride. Not everything is an excuse to b!tch, moan and pity yourself about. Take a stand and do something, or take a bow and leave.
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Ebonymonroe says
Yes, Adonis, you’re right, Black people are superhuman beings who are able to withstand a full scale assault, no matter how bad, and numerous it is. The truth is, BM and BW are just innately evil. LMBO.
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Adonis said
Fine.
(Ebonymonroe @Adonis
You have no ground using the “BW choose thugs argument,”)
Actually, YOU BROUGHT THAT UP.
You are more familiar with the term THUG, which I don’t like, because I actually hang out with a lot of these dudes, and their are a lot of “GOOD MEN” fall into the THUG category.
I have a problem with men who willfully do not take care of their children, financially or are present.
Irresponsible men.
Educated, uneducated.
Mommy issues. daddy issues
Rich or poor (tho mostly impoverish)
Charismatic or lame.
Masculine or feminine
Straight or bi-sexual
Criminals or law-abiding citizens
If these men do not take care of their children, then they are a piece of sh-t.
(The exception to the rule is, if HE PICKED THE WRONG WOMAN TO MATE WITH & THEN SHE IS LEVERAGING THE WHITE POWERED COURT SYSTEM to keep him away from the child, then I am compassionate to his situation, but he made a wrong move somewhere.)
It is HARD TO HOLD THESE MEN TO THEIR RESPONSIBILITY, if black women are willing opening their legs for them. And women like you are complaining to be AFTER THE CHILD IS BORN.
Ebonymonroe says
Well then, “no good men.” Replace thugs with “no good men.” If you still stand on the idea that it’s down to BW choosing “no good men.” please do a U-turn, and read through Satanforce’s post, again. And by the way, if they don’t go to the court to ask you to help them to raise the child and to provide for the child, then they will have to go to the government, OR they will have to swallow their pride and raise the child with only one wage, which causes the child to have to go without. Which one is it? Which one do you prefer? And I’m talking about single mothers who exist, because they do. Which one do you want single mothers to do, ask for child support? Or get on welfare?
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
which your entire argument seems to rest on. Only 30% of AA single parent homes are the product of a BW and a “thug,” the other 40-42% are not.
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Adonis said
You straw manned my argument to put the pressure on men who are more like me who might be getting black women pregnant outside of marriage.
Ebonymonroe says
Adonis, this is the whole point, the statistics are there, the facts are there, babyboy. BM who have the qualities you mentioned make up 70% of the men with children OOW. It’s not straw manning, I am debating your claims with facts, and your claims do not stand once we provide the documented facts. Sorry.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
You put 0-18 year old Black female rape victims down to choices? Between birth, and at least 16, you’re a child. It is generally called pedophilia.
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Adonis said
You mean the parents & the babyfathers that they choose to procreate with. Huh?
Ebonymonroe says
Once again, throwing fart-thoughts into the air. The statistics say that rape victims are usually victimized by family members, close family friends and neighbors. So you can’t say it comes down to BW and the new man they’re bringing into the home, the facts say otherwise. Sorry.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
And, as I’ve said, roughly 75-85% of rape victims know their attackers, as family members, close family friends, and close neighbors, so once again, your idea of it being about CHOICES, is completely unfounded.
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Adonis said
This is true. So what do you do?
Ebonymonroe says
The first thing you could do, as one of the BW bashers, is stop going on websites where “other men” as well as your own, are watching on; and dehumanizing BW and laughing at the idea that BW are unrapable. You are empowering the idea that the BW’s body is worthless and readily accessible. Stop doing that. Secondly, you could stop supporting BW bashers, if you do: the Tommy Sotomayors, etc. That would be a start. I know for sure that I would not be supporting any movement that chose to dehumanize BM.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
You cannot have an intelligent conversation on this because you are delusional with your hatred of BW.
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Adonis said
Whatever helps you sleep at night.
Ebonymonroe says
No, this is very true. You’re arguing with facts I presented by using your own belief in stereotypes. So where can one go when one will not accept the facts?
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
By the way, even though 60% of Black women are raped or sexually abused from 0-18 in the US, a huge percentage of rape victims do not report their crimes due to the fear not being believed, and out of fear of humiliation. Your assertion that the victims, (the victim and her family that will have to deal with the trauma), are to blame, are why.
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Adonis said
Well, they have to speak up. If they do not, they have their reasons. Oh well.
Ebonymonroe says
Adonis, when you respond to this statistic by saying “oh well,” nonchalantly, do you really think you should be marrying a BW, or possibly being the father to a Black female child? Do you really? Please, marry out!
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
If 50% of BW are born under the poverty line, and 70-72% grow up without a father at home to present a male role model for future reference on what a husband and father should be, and if 60% are the victims of rape before they’re adults, and if they’re packing prisons for non violent crimes, (usually for being found carrying drugs for family members), then yes, they are at a great disadvantage and are just as much victimized and disadvantaged as BM are.
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Adonis said
I agree.
Ebonymonroe
Then why are we arguing?
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
I’m sorry, but dudes, like you, live by the assumption that all BW collectively step over good BM to be with bad BM, but you have no proof for this, the statistics don’t back you, you don’t know every American BW to say this.
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Adonis said
Really? You just admitted, black women ain’t trying to get married like that. And they want to date whomever gets them wet.
Ebonymonroe says
No, I showed that not all BW are anxious about getting married, so your idea that all BW are angry about BM marrying out, is not true, because many of them are not particularly interested in marrying you, anyway. But still the report did not show that all AAW don’t want to get married. And this coincides with a general drop in interest for marriage, among all women in the US, not just BW. And I never said BW want to date whoever stimulates them, or anything of that nature. Lol. I just disagreed with your position that BW don’t find non BM attractive and that’s why they stick with BM. Because that’s not true.
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Adonis said
So, if these BW end up in a dark place. I could careless. Choices baby. Choices
Ebonymonroe says
No one has asked you to care, I have only taken issue with you attacking. You don’t have to defend, “stop attacking,” is my position. Please don’t misunderstand.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
Your argument is made up of thin air. I believe at this point, that men who feel this way are just bitter over not being chosen by BW.
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Adonis said
And then BW turn around AND GET MAD when these men decide to check for Non-BW
And then try to pee on my leg & tell me it is raining about LOYALTY. LMAO.
Ebonymonroe
I give you my word, if I ever have brought up BM marrying out, I won’t bring it up again. Kay?
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
It could be that one is physically unattractive, emotionally unbalanced, unintelligent, irrational, not sexy, bad in bed, and lacks basic social skills, charisma, and good humor.
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Adonis said
And then you turn around and ask these same men to support BWs causes. WHY? WHY?
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
The men who seem to allude to being good BM always seem to be the nastiest. ……………………………………………………………………………………
Adonis @Ebonymonroe
Chicken & egg argument.
You ignore & reject these men and expect them to be happy about it. LOL!!!
And expect love & support from these men.
And talk crazy about LOYALTY to these men.
And then, get mad when these men decide that non-BW are a better option.
@EbonyMonroe you see how crazy, you, @Peanut & @Sharina sound.
Ebonymonroe says
Once again, this is not about you defending BW, it’s about you ATTACKING BW! And there are real “good BM” out there, who have supported BW, anyway.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
No one wants a scorned man or woman. “The good guy thing” is just a label that passive aggressive men seem to use. But, as I said, the self professed “good guys” always seem to be the worst. ………………………………………………………………………………………..
Adonis said
It is what it is. But these men take away the victim narrative Black women like to run with, when the IR dating conversations come up.
Ebonymonroe says
In the interracial thread, I actually said that I feel if you’ve tried to find you mate among your own, and haven’t, and then come across your ideal outside of your race, you should go for it. I’ve never taken issue with BM who find what they’re looking for, in a spouse, outside their race, after finding no luck within their race. We pretty much agree here. But the loyalty thing still holds, because many BW have not had luck with BM, but they still stick with them, so you have not managed to disprove the loyalty position, as yet.
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Ebonymonroe @Adonis
Please save yourself the time of responding to my posts, as I’m not interested. It is impossible having a rational debate with you, when you have no way of seeing things with a rational mind. Don’t waste your time.
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Adonis said
We just disagree,