“Darkest Austria” (1994) is a film about the native tribes of the mountains of western Austria, the land of the Tyroleans and other warlike peoples. It is based on three expeditions to the heart of Europe led by anthropologist Kayonga Kagame of Kinshasa University. The film is done in the time-honoured style of National Geographic films of the 1970s.
Although Europeans have written many books about themselves, Kagame warns us:
If you want to keep a clear head, avoid all white self-interpretation and rely on your own common sense.
Among Kagame’s discoveries:
- Polygamy: The Central European tribes practise dislocated polygamy: each man lives with one woman but, for reasons yet to be studied, does not live with his auxiliary wives in the same home.
- Masks: They use masks in their dances but have little spiritual understanding of what they are for.
- Music: The music sung by men is sad and boring while that of the women is shrill and aggressive. The native children, though, sing lively songs.
- Religion: The Christian temples stand empty, although they are well maintained. Seeking to answer this mystery Kagame discovered a new religion: the natives now worship a god whose totem is the Chicken instead of the old god of the Lamb. In place of the bread and wine of the old god, worshippers eat the flesh of the chicken and drink as much beer as possible. They dance like chickens to become one with their god.
- Cults: Kagame observed that some natives go through great hardships and grave dangers to reach the tops of certain mountains. He hired a helicopter to see what was at the tops of those mountains. He found crosses, the symbol of Christianity. The Mountaineers, as they call themselves, are clearly a semi-suicidal cult.
- The northern tribes: Each summer neighbouring tribes from the north leave their big houses and come to these mountains to live in small rooms. In one town, over 90% of the rooms were built and set aside for this purpose. As the northern tribal men look impotent, it is likely that their women seek sexual congress with the more virile southern male.
- Psychology: The natives like to go up hills and slide down them over and over, sometimes for a whole day. In Kinshasa little children like to do this but soon grow out of it. Clearly Europe has regressed to infantile behaviour on an epidemic scale, a sign that civilization there is drawing to a close.
- Transport: They use bicycles to go nowhere.
- Community: The natives say they believe in individualism and, in fact, they sometimes put their own selfish interests above that of their family and community. Yet they dress the same and act the same!
Some say that the white man’s well-known love of money accounts for his strange behaviour. Kagame thinks that is too simple, in part because it denies them a spiritual dimension. He says they will always be something of a mystery to us.
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abagond, this may surprise you, but I actually liked the youtube video, but I think it mocks all modern societies, and is kind of a premeditated joke in a way, it was done very well though,
I lmfao a few times
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Good one again! I once saw an interview with a african peacekeeper who had been serving in Bosnia during that Yugoslavian conflict in 90’s. He said that he has never seen so crazy people as in Europe. He had never suspected that europeans were so crazy because they always told everybody in Africa that they are rational and intelligent, but back home, in Europe, they were almost all crazy.
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That vid is funny as heck but makes you think.
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This is delightful on so many levels.
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LOL! I love this! It is so true in so many levels. It is so true that european customs and ‘tribal couture’ is so similar to their african counterparts and that we (europeans) see ourselves as something very special, and thinking that others are more primitive even though we cherish similar, old, tribal customs. Thank you for this, I posted it on my facebook wall as well as on the walls of a couple of my friends m(including two finns of Somalian origin). Very delightful indeed! It is vitally important to see cultures from the viewpoint of others, especially that of our own. We are all the same, it’s just that we have different patterns and colors, and that is exactly why this world is BEAUTIFUL!
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I don’t quite understand this post, does it parody white people’s interpretations of Africa?
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My comment awaits patiently in moderation only to be denied by a fascist. I guess open and free speech is deathly feared around here? I suppose it should be expected given the incredible levels of stupidity being endorsed and promoted in these parts. A logical counter-balance would most certainly be perceived as a direct threat. Fools only prevail in an environment which is conducive to their glaring intellectual weaknesses. This website is a veritable breeding ground for such mental vacancies. You should all be so very proud of yourselves. Gleefully playing the roles of mindless guinea pigs in this petri-dish of online racial agendas. Keep hating us whites. We expect as much from your kind. That internalized anguish will only serve to adversely effect your own health. I sit back and watch that hatred eat away at your insides like corrosive battery acid leaving you in the ditch as just another forgotten footnote in history. Dig a ditch and bury you in lime. Goodbye petty haters. We have no use for you in this world. And your decline is self-created. Make sure that point is engraved in your headstones as you’re being devoured by maggots and worms hateful monsters.
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@ AJ
Yes.
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@AJ, to a degree, it just mirrors it too. It helps people who are culturally white to see, to recognize, the metaphorical lenses those N.G. documentaries are made with.
By the way do you know legalese English for the delivery date beyond which the deal is off?
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I think @Whatever is trying to say:
I am fascist. I am deathly afraid of the open and free speech around here. I suppose it should be expected given the incredible levels of stupidity being endorsed and promoted in this country on a daily basis specifically via the media. A logical counter-balance would most certainly be perceived as a direct threat. I guess fools only prevail in an environment which is conducive to their glaring intellectual weaknesses. Consequently this wonderful nation has always been veritable breeding ground for such mental vacancies. I wish I could be proud of myself. Gleefully playing the role of a mindless guinea pig in this petri-dish with an obvious racial agenda. Hating everything and everyone that isn’t white. I guess you expect as much from our kind. That internalized anguish has not only served to adversely effect our own health, but worse, the health and lives of others. That hatred eats away at our insides like corrosive battery acid leaving us in the ditch as just another forgotten footnote in history. We keep digging a ditch and burying ourselves in lime. I fear if we don’t change our collective obituary will read, “Goodbye petty haters. We have no use for you in this world. And your decline is self-created. Make sure that point is engraved in your headstones as you’re being devoured by maggots and worms hateful monsters.”
No need to thank me Whatever. Just thought I’d help you get off your chest what you really meant to say 🙂
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@whatever
Its Abagond’s blog. He has every right to pick and choose what he wants posted here. IMO he’s too generous. If I had my own blog, I would be moderating the f*ck out of all of the trolls he allows around here.
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Whatever, as the sock puppet of Myself, is now banned.
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Is Mr. Kagame Kenyan? I’ve noticed many of them seem to have Japanese-sounding last names.
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This is excellent. I saw a similar piece about a future civilization excavating current-day America. One of the things they are trying to determine, as they unearth evidence of massive stadiums constructed in virtually every metro, is what type of gods were worshipped there — the presumption being that a civilization would only be motivated to concentrate its resources to erect such giant structures for purposes of worshipping a god.
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Whatever, as the sock puppet of Myself, is now banned.
That myself must have a lot of ‘friends’ with computers, hahahaha! It’s funny what adverse effects liquor has on some people!
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Love the vid, it’s superb!!!
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Dude, what is Myself’s problem? If this isn’t a case of mental illness, I don’t know what is.
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There was a parody similar to this about the “Nacirema” which was very funny
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Just came across this blog. As a white (British) European woman I haven’t laughed so much in ages! It’s too true and so sadly parodies the way so much has been written about non-europeans for centuries.
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