Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is where you think you are better than you are and do not care about the feelings of others – to such a degree that it messes up your life or those of others.
Narcissism is named after Narcissus. The Greek gods punished him by making him fall in love with an image of himself that he saw in the water. Not only was he incapable of loving others, but he could not even love himself – just an image of himself. That is just how narcissistic people are.
NPD is a form of narcissism that is bad enough to be listed as a personality disorder in the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” (DSM), which is what American psychiatrists go by.
Only 1% of Americans have NPD. Higher rates are found among those who run companies – as well as those who beat their wives or commit hate crimes or crimes of violence.
Those with NPD have six or more of the following signs:
- They think they much are better than they are.
- They act like they are better than others.
- They rarely admit to making mistakes or being imperfect.
- They require to be respected or approved of to an unreasonable degree.
- They expect others to be nice to them or do what they want them to do – to an unreasonable degree.
- They do not care about other people’s feelings.
- They take advantage of others to further their own ends.
- They think too much about having great wealth, power, beauty, intelligence, etc.
- They hate it when others are better than them – and think they are hated for the same reason.
- They think they are special and can only be understood by others like themselves.
They seek attention. Often they are easily slighted, bad at handling defeat, think they are above the rules and make a big deal of comparing things like grades and income.
No one is sure what causes it. It does not seem to be any kind of chemical imbalance in the brain.
One idea is that they did not feel loved as children. That makes it hard for them to love others. It also makes them feel that deep down there is something wrong with them. That leads to shame, which they avoid facing by creating this huge front of how great they are.
That is why they get highly upset when you say anything bad about them – they are protecting that false front, that false self-image. People whose self-image is based on fact do not act like that.
They can also feel good about themselves by imagining in others the qualities they fear in themselves. French psychologist Bela Grunberger sees this as the root of racist and anti-Semitic violence.
There is no known cure. Psychotherapy sometimes works, but it is hard to get narcissistic people to admit there is anything wrong with them – whatever troubles they have in life they blame on others. They are afraid of letting go of that false front.
See also:
I like how you chose paris hilton.
Yes indeed. And Paris Hilton is representative of a certain “group”.
Love that pic of Paris Hilton looking into her compact. How appropriate. Despite being rich and privileged, it goes to show you money can’t buy class. Wasn’t there a video of Paris Hilton making a racial slur about black people? She’s a loathesome, self-entitled, racist skank.
Paris surely loves to look at herself.
http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2007/12/17/hair_paris_gallery__600x388.jpg
http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2008/01/22/sundance_parishilton3_gallery__600x400.jpg
The mirror is her best friend.
http://indie.rizoa.com/img/2009/07/paris-hilton-mirror-girl.jpg
http://cuteparishilton.com/gallery/2007/4/23/Paris_Hilton_watching_her_face_in_car_mirror_Z83B2M.jpg
http://www.deanpiper.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/paris-mirror.jpg
http://img.ibtimes.com/www/data/contents/full/2009/10/09/5466.jpg
1%? I swear 50% of American Women suffer from this disorder.
Whose knows…I might. Kinda funny, I took a Narcissistic Personality Evaluation. The average score was usually about 12-15 and celebrities scored around 18.
I scored a 26.
I just assumed it meant I was confident, though.
(leigh204)
“”"Love that pic of Paris Hilton looking into her compact. How appropriate. Despite being rich and privileged, it goes to show you money can’t buy class. Wasn’t there a video of Paris Hilton making a racial slur about black people? She’s a loathesome, self-entitled, racist skank.”"
——————————————————-
I recall seeing a video where Ms. Hilton was at a gathering, appeared to be imbibing alcohol and having a ‘good time’. She was ‘dancing’ and saying, “we’re dancing like ‘n—ge-s”, over and over. Very disappointing.
many people/women appear to have some elements of this condition.
I’m totally guilty of #10 though, lol.
Most people have some traits of some personality disorders, but to get an official diagnosis there must be “marked impairment” in the person’s life. Obviously with NPD this usually takes the form of poor interpersonal relationships.
This disorder sounds EXACTLY like my ex-boyfriend!
LOL @ Joe Clyde
I have to agree. I see this behavior in females more than males. Girls my age are out of control. I can barely tolerate it. Most are just arrogant (not confident), ignorant, and a pain in the arse. You cant tell them anything they are “fabulous” and “divas”. I swear 75% of women in the country think they are the next Kim K or Paris Hilton. In general most Americans appear to be cocky for no reason. I work in a grocery store (my last day is tomorrow thank GOD!) and my co-workers are just loathsome. Not all but at least %30. They take 10-15 minutes extra for their breaks and get mad when I call them out. Whine like babes when asked to do they job, expect t be catered to. Trow tantrums (yes, grown men and women wildin’ out on the check-stand).
Unfortunately they cant be fired for this behavior or they will call the Union and start all kinds of sh!t.
Yeah, I know of someone like this. It’s so funny, because I was just thinking about this and how it relates to some white people. By their mannerisms and body language and actions, it seems that they are the occupants and we are just guests. Again, not all. I also noticed a lot of ww who are “Becky’s” are like this.
Abagond, you should do a post about ww who are “Becky’s”. It would be interesting.
Paris Hilton and Donald Trump appear to have this disorder.
You know, I hate to admit it, but I think I have some of these tendencies! LOL! I have to agree with Jasmin; I think all human beings to a certain extent have some type personality dysfunction. Hopefully, mine aren’t too bad! Islandgirl, what do you mean by the term “Becky”? You said some ww are Beckys, but I’ve always heard it applied to all ww.
Ha ha! That photo made me laugh. She’s three days younger than me and has astounded me with her bad behavior for years. Sure she’s beautiful but also a materialistic airhead who doesn’t care enough about others’ wellbeing to stay off the road while drunk.
She is an embarassment to women. At least she’s been quiet the last year or so. I am so tired of diva lawbreaking antics in the news. (ie Lindsay Lohan.)
BTW–What is the reference to “Becky” I always hear about? Is that a snotty white girl or such?
‘Becky’= ‘Miss Anne
Think Scarlett O’Hara. I’ve heard older (born 1900-1945) African /Black Americans refer to ww as Miss Ann all of my life. Ww/ females who ‘know’/demands that the world caters to their needs, and their needs only.
Many engage in the ‘crying’ tactic, the I’m scared tactic, or throwing tantrum tactics to get their way/sway opinion. They can exhibit blatant signs of racism (see Laura Schlesinger), or act shocked and surprised when challenged with their hidden racism (hidden to them), think Elizabeth on the View’.
Mochasister and Ames, Oyan described “Becky” perfectly. Elizabeth on the view is the quintessential Becky. So is Paris Hilton. Supierior attitude who cannot/will not understand or relate to other people’s situations. Arrogant, hidden racism, the world must cater to them and their needs. They are not the elite of women in terms of appearance, wealth or any other quality, but they benefit from centuries of free marketing and promotion.
The term “Becky” was used to describe Tiger Woods girls. I wouldn’t say all white women fall under this category. For instance, I would consider Mira or Ashley Judd or Angelia Jolie a becky. They seem like they have more of an outward prospective and concern for others.
*I meant I wouldn’t consider Mira….
I live in an upper middle class neighborhood and a lot of white women suffer from this condition but only to a degree and it is only when they are around black women that it seems to come out. I find it quite funny!
@ meme
That is funny!
islandgirl, I know the “becky-tude”! I call that the White American Princess syndrome. These women swear they’ve been kissed by the gods.
My SO’s youngest sister definitely has the becky-tude/WAP syndrome. I love her and all, but she thinks she is the hottest thing walking. I wonder what that has to do with being blonde, tall, thin, and blue eyed, and having all the white guys follow her around like puppies.
And Ames, Paris is not beautiful. It’s funny how a white woman can dye her hair, wear colored contacts, and have plastic surgery up the wazoo, but still be called “beautiful.” But if a black woman does it… well that’s just because black women hate themselves and aren’t attractive, right? (Not directing that question to you, necessarily.)
Ah, love the topic of “Becky syndrome” !
I can remember so many instances of the fuckery that I have seen on the behalf of white women. They are some of the most complaining crying-est bitches on planet earth. It just amazes me. Many of them remind me of children.
I remember my sister had a friend who looks wise favored a weasel and had the body of a 12 year old boy. But she was blond haired, maybe even blue eyed and she swore up and down that all the boys loved her because she was “white & tight”.
-_____-
She was always making it a point to discuss her attractiveness compared to my sister or some other “lowly” non WASP woman.
I personally find white women to be the most unattractive women on the earth. I also see blond hair and blue eyes (together at least) to be a sign of inferior genetics.
The last couple centuries of white supremacy really has white people under delusions of grandeur. If they were in fact as superior as they think they are… they wouldn’t constantly have to demonize other cultures/races and just all out lie about their greatness.
Even white women know they aren’t that attractive overall compared to their “colored” counterparts & so do their men. Which is why they constantly have to discuss and throw around their beauty and this blond hair blue eyed thing.
Welp, thats my 2 cents
@MeMe
As do I. I see it all the time. It is comical !
@ Natasha
And Ames, Paris is not beautiful. It’s funny how a white woman can dye her hair, wear colored contacts, and have plastic surgery up the wazoo, but still be called “beautiful.” But if a black woman does it… well that’s just because black women hate themselves and aren’t attractive, right? (Not directing that question to you, necessarily.)
My take on the psychology at work:
Well here is a possibility for the double standard.
Society is just as a given racist. So that is the given. Then a subsection to the given is that whites/whiteness is the default (spoken about in the threads “Japanese as White”/”Airbender” blah, blah, blah). So, with all that if Paris gets plastic surgery she is already white and simply enhancing what is already inherent to her. If a non-white does what she has done then they are being seen as trying to actually transform into something that is not inherent to them. Also a privileged group wants to erect as many barriers to entry as possible.
My own take on beauty enhancement and some other stuff:
I had no idea Paris had had plastic surgery! I’ve always thought she was smoking fucking HOT! When you say “up the wazoo” can you list the procedures please (SW6 needs convincing). When I found out about Kim Kardashian’s work I found her less gorgeous. The same thing might happen with Paris but will take time to sink in.
Ninety nine percent of the time, I am more drawn to someone who is “beautiful” without having gotten plastic surgery. But everything is malleable. I feel this way because I am not an “in the trenches” Hollywood/”entertainment”/ “worker”. If I were in Hollywood I would “accept” that this [plastic surgery] is a part of the business I am in. I would maybe get work done though less likely because I am male. But, it would matter less to me if my female counterparts were getting it done because i would be part of their world and understand the whys and wherefores of this world.
Bottom Line
It’s often best to work with what you’ve got. My jaw is more square than round. If I went in for plastic surgery to get it even more square that would be way less weird than trying to get a very round look to my jaw. Another point is that if one does make changes it may be the better course to keep the changes subtle, “less is more” type of thing. Double eye lid surgery is probably one of those subtle types of changes.
Natasha, Paris dying her hair and wearing coloured contacts is hardly radical. The plastic surgery she has had may be radical. Blonde hair and blue eyes on Paris, even if they are artificial changes, look way less weird than if Alek Wyk or Beverly Johnson or Iman were to start walking around with Blonde hair and blue contacts. Those women would look ridiculous. Thankfully none of those women would ever do that, it would be, well, ridiculous. The subtle, yet obvious function of Iman’s make-up line is for women of colour to work with the beauty they have.
Thad made a comment [Thread Natural Black Beauty] about him and his wife laughing at D.C. area black women who ran when caught outdoors in the rain. Long hair on women is prized/rewarded in society. In my view these women, if they wish to have long hair serve themselves better by achieving it through dreads. They would not have to run from the rain anymore.
——-
Your tone was, I think somewhat rhetorical, but I guess I felt like doing some thinking out loud.
I agree with mochasister. Every instance I’ve heard/seen the term “becky” used, it always referred to a generic white woman. “Fat beckies”, though, specifically refers to the obese white girls that IR-inclined black males are frequently seen with.
It’s strange that the pet name Becky would be associated with a Miss Ann type, i.e. a spoiled and privileged white woman. The name always struck me as being of lower-class origins. It’s the type of name I associate with semi-literate, backwoods types who have missing front teeth, blonde pigtails, a pappy named Jebediah, and who get up at dawn to milk the cows and feed the chickens.
I must add that calling white women “beckies” stems from the notion that the name is far more common among white women than among WOC — it really has nothing to do with class or status.
apologies-there are comma issues in my post.
Okay, for those who keep saying that NPD is a “female” thing, research shows the opposite: NPD has a much higher prevalence among men than among women.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2669224/
Natasha,
Yes! “Becky-tude”, that’s the word I was looking for. I’m curious to know how your “becky-in-law” acted toward you when you first met – and now.
Tatum says, I must admit, I am fascinated by the “becky syndrome”, but had no idea that other people noticed like I do.
Paisley, when I think of a “becky”, I think of a ww who is not affluent, but is not underpriveledged either. Most seem to be middle class. There are a lot of beckys where I live, so I feel I’m an expert.lol Seriously, in my observations, they are “just enough” ww. They are somewhat attractive enough (think Tiger’s girls), but not gorgeous. Have “just enough” income, but not affluent, ect. Kinda bland and plain. But that’s ok that she’s “just enough” because centuries worth of free promotion and advertising puts her over. She develops a narcissistic personality and turns her nose up at everyone.
She’s also the type that is intimidated by women of color who has a lot going for her. Example- a saw a blog by a commenter here about a group of girls (black and white) who visited Europe. They were shocked and appalled by the amount of attention the black girls received from men. That is very narcissitic and arrogant.
I remember that post.
The girl was shocked that the men were courting the black girl directly, without expressing deferential signs of polite interest in the white girls first.
She clearly blamed her uncomfort on something wrong with the boys, who confused her blackfriend du jour for the real stuff, as if her beauty had wrongly been negated by just this fact alone.
By the tone of the post, i couldn’t tell if she was entertained or serious about her narcissism.
That post was useful because it pointed out a courtship hierarchy that some white american girls were aware of , and expecting.
To the point that they felt sorry for their black female friend
^where is the post?
I remember reading this post somewhere, but I forgot where I read it from. Anyone with a link please? We’ll appreciate it.
SW6,
“…Then a subsection to the given is that whites/whiteness is the default (spoken about in the threads.. So, with all that if Paris gets plastic surgery she is already white and simply enhancing what is already inherent to her. If a non-white does what she has done then they are being seen as trying to actually transform into something that is not inherent to them.”
But what of the Megan Foxes and Lindsay Lohans that get their lips surgically plumped? Or the Kim Kardashians that get their butts inflated? Is that “enhancing what is already inherent”?
“I had no idea Paris had had plastic surgery! I’ve always thought she was smoking f*cking HOT! When you say “up the wazoo” can you list the procedures please (SW6 needs convincing).”
Something like 95 percent of Hollywood has been surgically altered, from my guesstimates. Elise Neal, after being criticized for her breast implants said that she estimates at least 75 percent of black celebrity women have their noses done. She can include white celebrities in that estimate.
Paris had (at least) two nose jobs, eyelid surgery to lift her eyes (one was/is droopy) and breast implants. That’s just what I know of. You can Google the pictures yourself and be the judge, but it is quite obvious. Even her IMDB lists it — you know that if they felt the need to mention it, it is crucial:
“Hilton began a remarkable and well-financed campaign to put herself in the public eye, on screen, on television and in music. This effort has included a substantial amount of physical alteration. A naturally pleasant-looking girl [ha!], Hilton underwent extensive plastic surgery, hair coloring and tinted contact lenses in her attempt to reinvent herself as “hot”. Sadly, money could not buy alteration of the physical attribute she most dislikes about herself: her exceptionally-large feet.”
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0385296/bio
“Ninety nine percent of the time, I am more drawn to someone who is “beautiful” without having gotten plastic surgery.”
Then I guess you’d better stop being drawn to celebs!
Here it is:
http://www.ankhesen-mie.net/2010/06/draptoresponsia-case-study-12-shattered.html
Draptoresponsia Case Study #12, by dr. Ankhesen.
@ Dahoman X:
Thank you very much.
I find it interesting that NPD has been a mostly, ‘male’ related syndrome. Makes sense with regards ‘males’ in the animal kingdom, ie. lions with their manes, peacock males with their plumes, lol! White males, definitely walk the earth as if they are the default ‘beautiful human’, and all else are sub-human, with the exception of the ww, and perhaps speaks to wm requirements for ww to keep a ‘certain look’; makes sense actually that NPD could be most applicable to them. I find beauty in all racial, ethnic groups. Seriously.
It just sucks hugely, that due to white supremacy, black(specifically sub-saharan) is deemed default ‘ugly’, and everyone bought it, hook, line and sinker. I saw so many grogeous African/Black American pretty people at HBCU’s in my travels, that I marveled at the beauty! Just wow!
I also have seen many of the models from African countries, who are amazingly beautiful, and I wonder, how did whites succeed with perpetrating the lie of ugly Africans? Sure, there are many who may be perceived as being ‘challenged’ facially, but, you find that in all groups, throughout the world. wth!
Did “Beckies/Beckys” come from Baby Got Back? “Oh my God, Becky. Look at her butt!”
I agree more men have NPD than women. Most women I know have crummy self-esteem and see flaws in ourselves that men don’t.
Then I guess you’d better stop being drawn to celebs!
Hey! They are my 1% factor.
islandgirl,
“I’m curious to know how your “becky-in-law” acted toward you when you first met – and now.”
Lol at becky-in-law. She’s nice now, I am her “black pass”; she mentiones me to all her friends. Obviously, she’s cool and so not racist since her brother is with a black woman! When we first met she was a bit more leery, but curious in a way like she was wondering “What’s special about her?”
@ Dahoman X:
Thank you very much.
Yes, thanks
This is the best blog on the internet.
@Natasha you hit the nail on the head.
To whoever made the comment about the European men/black women thing
I keep hearing about European men loving black women and in the middle east. Black women get so side stepped in America it blows my mind. It clearly blew the beckys mind who wrote that article.
Off to read it now
BTW – LOVE THIS BLOG!
Some WW can’t handle it if a “minority” woman receives more attention than they do.
They have been trained subconsciously to believe that they are the best, therefore it bothers them to see a woman of color receiving male attention that is typically reserved for WW.
I’m not a psychologist, but I’ve been around LOTS of people who seem to fit all the traits mentioned above. It isn’t limited by race. A cruel, selfish person is sometimes just that.
@ JGreyden…believe me, it isn’t only white American girls with this attitude. I’ve also encountered white British women who were pissed that ANY man would actually be interested in me when there were blue-eyed blondes with much more to offer. *sarcasm*
BTW, I’m of mixed race (black and white).
Women with this attitude tend to be very insecure. Not only are they racist, but they need to be reassured that they’re still number 1 when it comes to what men find desirable.
One white lady shot me a withering death stare in Mississippi the other day when she noticed me with my husband.
I think it is higher that 1%…
What amazes me about NPD and various other ‘personality’ disorders, is that the majority of those who claim to have it are of the ‘caucasian persuasion’. I did some in-depth research for a psychology class I took a few years back, attending some group therapy sessions and reading online ‘help’ forums. Those with NPD and BPD (borderline personality) can be quite dangerous; some of the postings were pathetic at best and downright disturbing at the worst.
I wonder, how many of these so-called disorders can be directly linked to the privileged mindset? If there’s no biological reason (i.e. illness, brain tumors, excessive drinking/drug use), then it seems that NPD is nothing but the infantile tantrums of a person who feels ‘special’ but didn’t get what they feel entitled to. Since they feel above the law and that rules don’t apply to their special selves, then they’ll break those rules and/or laws to get what they rightfully deserve (money, power, fame, etc.). “If I can’t have you, then nobody will!” is a classic line that can be attributed to an NPD.
Charlie Sheen’s latest rants display NPD traits, which can be directly attributed to his rampant drug use.
What I see from this type of article is that it puts people in boxes that they may not fit into.
This could also be used to misrepresent a person, because all it takes to lump someone under this ‘disorder’ is some type of dislike, hatred or jealousy to try to fit a person into this box, which they don’t necessarily fit into.
Sometimes, I think people are looking for these traits in people they don’t like or to further an agenda.
That’s my own observation of it anyway.
Besides, unless you really know a person, it is not so easy to fit them into boxes such as this one.
Perceptions can sometimes be wrong and sometimes when a person is acting in a certain way, there may be a reason or explanation for it that is sometimes not immediately obvious.
I don’t give these types of things too much attention because it seems like it helps to mislabel some people.
….. Mi binche papa es narcississtic and having to deal with his disorder. Has put us on no speaking terms with eachother. Trust me, dealing with a narcissist for 14 years is fuckin hell. yepeeee, now I live full time with my mommy:) They think that they’re better than everyone else, talk a lot of shit, etc………………………………):
I agree…. I believe more than 1% of Americans are diagnosed with being a narcissist!!