Remarks:
This came out in 2016 but never charted. Music critics, though, loved it, making it the 9th greatest song of the 2010s according to critic aggregator Acclaimed Music. In 2018 NPR named it the 16th greatest song by a non-male artist in the 21st century!
A music video was made for this song, showing an all-American boy preferring an all-American girl to her, set to the growing rage of her music. Mitski is Japanese American so she cannot possibly be “all-American” – “all” is code for White, as in “All Lives Matter”.
Yes, the song is autobiographical.
I posted the lyric video instead of the music video since her words are hard for me to make out amid the punk-music stylings.
Thanks to Solitaire for recommending this song.
See also:
- songs: the 2010s
- Welcome to Asian American History Month 2020
- Whitespeak
- Perpetual Foreigner stereotype
- Asian fetish
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
If I could, I’d be your little spoon
And kiss your fingers forevermore
But, big spoon, you have so much to do
And I have nothing ahead of me
[Verse 2]
You’re the sun, you’ve never seen the night
But you hear its song from the morning birds
Well, I’m not the moon, I’m not even a star
But awake at night I’ll be singing to the birds
[Pre-Chorus]
Don’t wait for me, I can’t come
[Chorus]
Your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me
But I do, I think I do
And you’re an all-American boy
I guess I couldn’t help trying to be your best American girl
[Bridge]
You’re the one
You’re all I ever wanted
I think I’ll regret this
[Chorus]
Your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me
But I do, I finally do
And you’re an all-American boy
I guess I couldn’t help trying to be the best American girl
[Outro]
Your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me
But I do, I think I do
Source: Genius Lyrics.
Abagond 
Um, there are plenty of PC songs that are catchy enough to chart.
Also, the irony of her basically complaining about not being desirably in the US is that in Japan she’d go nowhere because her looks are… (how to put it nicely?) not really appreciated over there.
I do like probably a majority of the music that you put up here, Abagond. This one just doesn’t do it for me (and I likely listen to Asian singers more than whites, so I have nothing against Asian voices).
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“Also, the irony of her basically complaining about not being desirably [sic] in the US is that in Japan she’d go nowhere because her looks are… (how to put it nicely?) not really appreciated over there.”
She’s hapa. That’s the hapa experience, not fully fitting in either place.
And the song isn’t about her looks: “Your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me”
This is what Mitski says about the song’s meaning:
“You always want what you can’t have, and that all-American thing, from the day I was born, I could never enter that dream. That all-American white culture is something that is inherited instead of attained. So yes, it’s a sad song, but I wanted to make sure it reflected all of the contrasting feelings. You can be heartbroken about a relationship, but also, from it, realize you are you and you’re okay with who you are, or where you came from.”
https://pitchfork.com/news/68089-mistki-breaks-down-your-best-american-girl-on-song-exploder/
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@ Biff
“Um, there are plenty of PC songs that are catchy enough to chart.”
Um, on these Sunday posts, Abagond almost always mentions whether the song charted, if it won any awards, etc. Where did he say anything about this particular song being PC in relation to sales?
“I likely listen to Asian singers more than whites, so I have nothing against Asian voices”
Yeah, but how many Asian American indie neo-punk rockers do you listen to? Maybe the genre is what you’re having trouble with.
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Happy Africa day!
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Solitaire:
Asian Americans like Utada Hikaru, J and Wang Lee Hom are critically acclaimed and have sold lots of albums too. Maybe they are less political than this gal. I googled “indie neo-punk” and it doesn’t really seem like a thing. And def. not my thing.
She’s ugly — to be bluntly honest. There are ugly people who are 100% white, but no one really wants to hear their songs about rejection (maybe they should). There are plenty of Hapa gals who are incredibly hot and have lots of attention from “All-American white boys”. The dating market is very kind to the young Joanna Gaineses of the world.. (cue the Asian American men to come in and complain that it’s so much harder for them–it is, and no one even wants to hear them sing about it..).
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@ Biff
You really aren’t getting it. The white guy who this song is about, they were in a relationship. She realized it wasn’t going to work out because she couldn’t (and shouldn’t have to) force herself to be someone she isn’t.
Your misinterpretation of the song is based entirely on your personal subjective evaluation of her looks. No one cares whether you think she’s hot or ugly. This song is about cultural differences and the pressure to assimilate within an interracial relationship, not the misreading of “rejection by white guys because she isn’t hot” that you’re trying to force on it.
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@ Biff
Also, I don’t think the problem was exclusively with her boyfriend but with his family as well. I base this assertion not only on the lyric about his mother’s disapproval, but on interviews in which she’s talked about wanting — and trying futilely — to be accepted by his family.
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i’d be careful about putting ‘neo-‘ in front of anything, even “folk” as in music.
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@ v8driver
Well, the other term for neo-punk is pop punk, which I like even less.
Abagond just went with straight-out “punk” in his post. I think the song has a ’90s indie rock vibe going on that pushes it into the neo/pop punk subgenre. But tbh, all of that is splitting hairs, and I can call it plain old punk with no qualms.
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@ Biff
“Asian Americans like Utada Hikaru, J and Wang Lee Hom are critically acclaimed and have sold lots of albums too.”
Yeah, in Asia. True, they are all Asian American, but their careers are centered in Asia, they sell the majority of their albums in Asia, their songs are mostly not in English but in Japanese, Korean, and Chinese, respectively.
Not sure why you even brought them up as part of the discussion about Mitski. Their success in Asia does not pertain in any way to the experience of those Asian Americans whose careers are based in the USA. (Unless you want to talk about Utada Hikaru’s multiple failed attempts to gain any traction here.)
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@solitaire: I guess, I mean I was never into punk, I had “never mind the bollocks” on vinyl but it never caught my ear, so it’s a weak spot in my musical knowledge. And yeah that was re: biff’s comment.
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@ v8driver
There are a ridiculous number of subgenres for punk, just like with metal.
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Solitaire, I listened to another song from her. It was just more complaining about being unwanted.. It’s not that interesting. Anyway, Asian Americans like James Iha, Mike Shinoda and Joe Hahn managed to make awesome music without having to make everything about themselves. This girl was born abroad and also apparently lived in 13 countries growing up. She gets to be an American because of her dad. Fine. But typical hapa girls who grow up in the US don’t face huge culture shock dating white dudes. They just don’t. And if she were hotter, the cultural barriers would magically melt away.
Anyway, this is a subject that’s not very interesting to me.. but I write one comment and I always get 2 or 3 back trying to break down all my arguments. Anyway, Abagond, you’ve interested exactly one person with this music choice. You can do better!
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“But typical hapa girls who grow up in the US don’t face huge culture shock dating white dudes. They just don’t. And if she were hotter, the cultural barriers would magically melt away.”
Hahahahahaha!
No.
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