(Ilan Assayag / Haaretz)
Note: I got the idea for this post from a piece by Alexandra Petri in the Washington Post, which in turn was inspired by United Flight 3411:
JERUSALEM, Apr 14 – (APS) – Police here said on Friday they had arrested the leader of a separatist Jewish cult. The arrest took place in nearby Gethsemane Thursday night, leading to a violent altercation in which one man sustained injuries.
The suspect, a 33-year-old male of Middle Eastern origin, has been identified as Yeshua bar Yosef of Nazareth, 104 km north of Jerusalem. The suspected terrorist had plans to destroy the Temple of Jerusalem according to several witnesses. Earlier this week Bar Yosef evaded arrest after disrupting businesses there, a temple police spokesman said.
Bar Yosef has been convicted of insurrection. His public execution is set for 9:00 am Friday at Golgotha, just north-west of the city.
Bar Yosef is the cousin of Yohannon the baptizer, who was executed three years ago.
Late Thursday night after his arrest, Bar Yosef was brought before the Sanhedrin, a Jewish council consisting of 70 high priests. Bar Yosef refused to answer any of the charges brought against him, while witnesses gave conflicting testimony. When finally asked if he was the son of Jehovah, a Jewish god, a claim witnesses have heard him make, Bar Yosef said, “I am and all of you will see the son of man seated at the right hand of the power and coming with the clouds of heaven.” That was enough to convict him of blasphemy under Jewish law. The Sanhedrin unanimously voted for the death penalty.
Early Friday, Bar Yosef was brought before Governor Pontius Pilate. When the governor asked, “Are you the King of the Jews?”, Bar Yosef answered, “You have said it.” Jewish leaders then listed the charges against him. Governor Pilate asked, “Are you not answering anything? Look how many things they are accusing you of!” Bar Yosef remained silent.
Governor Pilate by custom releases one prisoner during the Jewish holiday of Passover. When he presented Bar Yosef and Bar Abbas, a terrorist convicted of murder, before the crowd, the crowd repeatedly demanded the death of Bar Yosef.
Authorities had been slow to move against Bar Yosef for fear of civil disturbances. But, in a surprise twist, his supporters, who number in the thousands, have all deserted him. One top disciple, Simon Peter, denies knowing him. Another top disciple, Judas Iscariot, was the police informant who helped to arrest him.
Over the past few years Bar Yosef had drawn huge crowds, promising regime change with a “Kingdom of God” after an apocalyptic end of days. He claims to be the son of a Jewish god and the descendant of a Jewish king. His supporters said he performed miracles, such as faith healing and walking on water. He had strong popular support in the Galilee Sea region except in his own town of Nazareth.
(Reporting by St Mark and St Matthew; Editing by Julian Abagond)
– Abagond, 2017.
Sources: Washington Post (2017), Reuters (2017), Holman Christian Standard Bible (2009), especially Mark 14:43 to 15:20.
See also:
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I probably should not be saying this on Good Friday, but I must admit it is hilarious to read an account of the Passion in detached “journalese.”
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Pretty good!
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Continuation, ……
Pretty good mockery! So, is Allah returning to deliver his people??
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Imagine if Christianity were treated with the skepticism that Islam is. Many Americans scoff at the idea of Mohammed ascending to heaven while still alive – but they believe that Jesus rose from the dead! The hypocrisy is amazing.
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not a mockery at all. its irony. that’s the way msm would handle the arrest of jesus. hed be a terrorist, just like the other guy that thought he was jesus a decade or so ago.
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make that a couple of decades ago
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I like this! I always like your creative writing, Abagond; you have a talent for holding up a dark mirror to the present. Shouldn’t John be rendered as Yohanan, though?
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@ Paige
I never heard any Christian attacking Islam for its unbelievability. Even for a Christian the Chrisitan faith sounds far-fetched and outlandish in some regards. Islam is pretty straight forward compared.
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@Kartoffel
Say what? Check this. Jesus is born of a virgin in Christianity. In Islam, not only is he born of a virgin, iirc, he comes out of the womb talking. When Mary brings him back from birthing him, the elders say to her ‘whats with this child’. She says ‘ask him yourself’. I think Islam is a little more farfetched.
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@All, more than anything else, it seems to be a bunch of comical comments here. To me, the same people who usually speak of the Bible or Quran, negatively or otherwise, in most instances, are usually the same people who haven’t read one page of either. Now that, @Nomad, is in fact, irony!
The Bible clearly speak of false prophets using Jesus’ name, over and over (Jeremiah 23:21). It’s called prophecy!
@Paige or Nomad, please inform me of at least one or two prophecies that have came to pass, spoken of in the Quran. I”ll pat my feet and wait for a reply from either one of you brilliant bloggers ……
NOTE: When Abagond is quiet in regards to religion, he’s usually sitting back laughing at people. I don’t blame you at all because for some strange reason, some incorrectly believe one”s faith is debatable (LOL).
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Look at the comments, … LOL, and some chuckles! No response(s) required here!
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@paige http://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2007/02/12/7332087/the-origins-of-the-shiite-sunni-split
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Brilliant! I knew Yeshua was an upstart. This take was also rather dramatically captured in King of KIngs (1961)
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Nice!
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Speaking of Christ, here’s the mark of the anti-Christ. I am flabbergasted. Never heard of this building before. Anybody seen it?
http://cosmicconvergence.org/?p=19035
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abagond. aren’t you in new York?
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I guess I’m the only one surprised about this. Its a real building prominently displaying the mark of the beast since 1957. Now owned by the acting president. As they say, smh.
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Tbe fourth wall broke at “cousin of John the Baptist.”
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Any truth to the rumor bar Yosef rose from the dead three days after his execution?
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@ Rasputinette @ RBGMan
I changed John the Baptist to Yohannon the baptizer.
Strictly speaking, Golgotha, Gethsemane, Simon Peter, Judas Iscariot and St Matthew should be Aramaicized too, and that is what I had in mind at first, but I did not want to make it too strange.
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