The US can end terrorism the same way it ended racism:
- Pass laws against terrorism and then say, “terrorism is dead.”
- Make terrorism a state of mind, not an act of terror. Since we cannot see into a man’s heart, that means anti-terrorist laws wind up applying only to those who say the wrong things, not to those who do the wrong things. The fight against terrorism, in other words, becomes a set of politically correct speech codes. Terrorist-sounding language becomes worse than acts of terrorism.
- Stop talking about terrorism! Condemn those who do. Tell them that they are keeping terrorism alive, that they are the true terrorists, that they are imagining terrorism, that they are part of a terrorist grievance industry.
- Get over it: If someone talks about 9/11, tell them to get over it and move on, to stop living in the past and playing the victim, to quit being so oversensitive. It is especially important to say this to those who lost family or friends because of 9/11. Oh, and be sure to tell them that no one in your family has ever been a terrorist.
- Say that terrorism is universal, part of the human condition. To those who bring up terrorism in the US, point out terrorism in other countries, like Iraq, Nigeria or India. Point to terrorism in other times. Shrug your shoulders and say, “It is part of man’s inhumanity to man.” Remember: terrorism is “universal” and yet “dead”!
- Downplay “perceived” acts of terrorism. Say that they are something else, like a mental health issue or a lone-wolf attack. Be sure to make it about the terrorist’s state of mind (“he feared for his life!”), which no one can know for sure, instead of, you know, the fact that he hurt and killed people.
- Blame the victim: Make the “innocent victims” seem not so innocent. Find out all the bad stuff you can about them or their family. Point out they were “no angels”. Make it seem like it was somehow their fault: “If only they had ….”
- Urge calm when an undeniable act of terrorism takes place. Warn against “a rush to judgement”, wait for all the facts to come in. Have the terrorists investigate themselves to determine those facts. Let a secret grand jury full of terrorist sympathizers review those facts to determine whether it was an act of terrorism. Call this “the process” since you cannot call it justice.
- Discredit protesters: Tell them that they are hypocrites, that if they truly cared they would protest against all violence, not just terrorism. If they say “American lives matter”, inform them that, “All lives matter”. If they do not stand during “The Star-Spangled Banner”, tell them they do not love their country, that if they do not like it in the US, they should leave. Be sure to be more upset about protesters than about terrorists.
- Have the Conversation: After all of this silencing and denying, say that we need to have “a conversation about terrorism.”
Disclaimer: This was parody.
Thanks to Michael Harriot of The Root for inspiring this post.
– Abagond, 2016.
- moral blindness
- The Secret Course on Whiteness
- 9/11 – killed almost 3,000 people
- killer cops – have killed some 17,000 people in the US since 9/11
- The Star-Spangled Banner
- “All lives matter”