Warning: As in all things Roissy, this is not a gentle, PG-13 sort of post:
Roissy in DC, a white man, told us in “Interracial Loving” about his first time with a black woman. It was like watching a train wreck.
One commenter, Haroldmaude, a black woman, comments in part:
Wow. I thought my humorous racial comments and viewpoints were always in danger of being misconstrued. And I really want to believe you’re being a bit light-hearted with this nostalgic post, but you’re not, are you? As a black woman, thanks for fulfilling the stereotypes about how/why white men date black women: it’s exotic; she’s probably used to really big black penises; a lot of other black women will find me attractive; and though the black men hate me for taking ‘one of their own’, they RESPECT me for pulling it off (???). Wow. Wow. Wow. Actually, those looks from the black men were probably more about, “There’s only one reason why he’s with her.”
This went right over Roissy’s head. He either did not understand it or chose not to. Even after she pointed out how he was stereotyping blacks he went right on doing it – while saying he was not!
For example, about stereotyping black women as exotic he says:
you’re barking up the wrong tree if you think you can guilt me into some contrite backpedaling. homey don’t play that. of course she was exotic at the time. she was my first. the first asian i had was also exotic. hell, the first time i kissed a girl was exotic. if it’s the word that ties your panties in a knot, try substituting “novel”.
Not getting it. It is like watching a troll in control of his own blog.
But it gets worse. Here is what he has to say about his stereotyping black women as being used to really big black penises:
a fair assumption on my part as most people date within their race for the majority of their dating lives. luckily for me, i’m no slouch in the big penis department.
Still not getting it.
I later commented:
Roissy: A very interesting yet sickening account. You need to reread haroldmaude’s comments with care.
That was putting it nicely.
Government figures show that white Americans have higher reading scores than blacks. But then why is it that blacks easily understand my posts while some whites have such a hard time?
Round about comment #15 some white person will do just what Roissy did: state that I am wrong while proving I am right by his very comment.
I used to think I was not being clear enough, that if I used just the right words then scales would drop from the eyes of white people. But that assumes that racism is just a simple misunderstanding, a set of bad ideas, like stereotypes, that can be replaced with better ones. Sadly, it is not that simple.
– Abagond, 2009.
See also:
I let out an audible sigh reading that post. It’s what I fear every guy is thinking as they pass by. That is, if they notice my existence at all.
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It’s a good argument for only dealing with SMART white men.
Some are smart, a few can figure it out. It’s worth it to take the time to figure out which ones have sense and which ones don’t.
I got no space in my life for dummies who are too dimwitted to see who I am and persist in defining me mainly by race.
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I stumbled onto your blog today, liked what I saw, added you to my blog roll.
http://www.blackperspective.net
Peace.
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Wildflower,
I completely agree with your sentiments about REJECTING STUPID WM like this Roissy character.
BW DESERVE to have their HUMANITY, DIGNITY, and FEMININITY RESPECTED by ANY man of ANY race who CLAIMS to be attracted to them and wants to have a SERIOUS DATING and/or MARRIAGE relationship w/BW.
I’m DISGUSTED by the ANTI-BW PERVERTS like this Roissy character who think that BW should be impressed by their DISRESPECTFUL, DEMEANING, DEGRADING RACIST/ANTI-BW attitudes/actions.
BW should STRONGLY REJECT these ANTI-BW DEVIANTS and show them, in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, that we will NOT TOLERATE this GARBAGE from ANY man.
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Aba,
I hope one day you will post something positive about Black Women in IR.
No offence,
but everytime I read some of the comments and some of your posts.
I am always thinking, What the hell they are talking about?
it s like I have been living in the 4 dimension all my life.
I don’t know why some are intrigued (or try to explain or understand) when a BW are in IR specially with a white man.
like it was something special and strange for a black woman to attract other “men” than Black men.
I want to remind any men of any race always think crazy stuff about women in general.
Why when it comes to BW, some take this out of proportion.
Even I never date a white dude, I know plenty BW in IR and I never heard such of thing from their men.lol!
Where I grew up , Black Women were seen as A WOMAN first, sensual, family oriented and GORGEOUS!!! by people of any race.
Also I am not Black American(that might alter my perception of things), I know it isn’t perfect, we still have to fight.
sometimes that’s nothing to do with the color of the women.
Since I am in US ( over a month) I have seen plenty plenty black women(all shape and skin tone) dating, marrying etc…(Gorgeous) Men of any race.
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nubiahbella says,
Where I grew up , Black Women were seen as A WOMAN first, sensual, family oriented and GORGEOUS!!! by people of any race.
laromana says,
nubiahbella,
I’m glad that you grew up in a country where BW were viewed PROPERLY (as you’ve noted in your comments above).
The reason why BW in America are FORCED to CONSTANTLY DEFEND our HUMANITY, DIGNITY, and FEMININITY is because MOST American WM/NON-BM DON’T view BW as WOMAN 1st who are DESIRABLE, FAMILY ORIENTED, and GORGEOUS but as NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES.
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Hello to all. I am new to this site but I just wanted to say this article was nice and I can agree with some of the statements about stereotyping of Black women by some White men who have been or are currently in IR’s. I have dated only Black and White men from the U.S. and one man from Honduras, so I can only speak about my experiences. But has anyone ever noticed that if a very attractive White man dates predominately Black women, many White people see him as having some sort of sexual fetish? Very similar to White men who only go after Asian women. I have had White guys(friends and acquaintances of my boyfriends) say to my face things like “Scott was always into exotic women and you are so pretty so I can see why he is dating you.” or “I bet you and James have a great sex life!” Why can’t people realize that many people in IR of all types are usually in them because of the person, not the color. I think it is equally rude when people make comments about White females in IR’s as well.
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Nubiah Bella:
This post backfired. If you reread it you will find that it was not about interracial relationships at all. But it has turned into that in the comments because it is more of a hot button issue than what the post was about.
I should have picked a more boring example of what I meant – but Roissy was hard to pass up.
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I’m assuming the purpose of this post is to show how white readers read what they want to read and don’t read what they don’t want to read. Correct?
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Correct.
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The dude completly missed the point and obviously did not read the comments
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I read that post and I want my three minutes back. What a waste of time. However, I did draw one conclusion. I do not believe the described event happened at all as it reads like some type of masturbatory fantasy.
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It does.
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abagond,
Thanks for posting this topic as a reminder of how some whites go out of their to deny BLATANT RACISM. A Roissy poster went so far as to use the N word in response to the LEGITIMATE criticisms leveled at Roissy for his DISGUSTING, RACIST, ANTI-BW post.
I’m especially FED UP with the type of WM who want to PRETEND there’s “NOTHING WRONG” with treating BW like STEREOTYPES instead of INDIVIDUAL HUMAN BEINGS/REAL WOMEN who DESERVE to have their HUMANITY, DIGNITY, and FEMININITY RESPECTED.
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I do not believe the described event happened at all as it reads like some type of masturbatory fantasy
Ditto!.
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Round about comment #15 some white person will do just what Roissy did: state that I am wrong while proving I am right by his very comment.
I understand your point, Abagond. And it’s true. One thing I found hilarious is after the Arab-trader post I read 3 posts at other unrelated blogs mentioning the Arab-trader argument. *dizzy*
“but Roissy was hard to pass up.”
He’s tempting isn’t he? And absolutely vile. That entry was a case in point. His blog is like a car accident; I can’t help reading it occasionally, even though he disgusts me.
He’s fascinating because he’s articulate and often he’s right. But it’s hard to acknowledge when he’s right because he’s such a complete scuzz-ball. Sometimes he’ll write a truism and then follow it up with misogynistic garbage. Rather than give him credit I want to throw pies at him. Or rocks. Or really big stones. Or boulders.
That post… *shudder* The “big penis” comment really takes the cake. I was tempted to comment the first time I read it but then I figured, why bother? Besides, I saw you posted and I figured you can represent. 🙂
I think the episode is real; it isn’t that hard to get laid anymore. Really, it’s not. A half-way decent looking guy with adequate game can go to a club, pick someone good-looking up, and take her home. I used to watch it happen so I know it’s real. The question is: Why would you want to? Don’t you have a life? Does Roissy really waste so much of his time picking up and pursuing cheap sex? That’s sad.
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dont we all “read what we want to read”?? the guy probably needs to reword his article but i dont see the ANTI-BW in it….?
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Come on people, the more I read Roissy’s posts on Blacks and women, the more I get disgusted. He makes comments about Black women being unattractive and manlike. At best, exotic, which is not flattering at all. Then one has to count all the posts his followers make agreeing in one degree or another, Roissy’s views on Blacks, women, and less than beautiful people of all races.
The problem with him and his white/nonblack followers is that they set themselves as arbiters of who’s beautiful or not, who’s bangable or not, who’s worthy of dating/marrying or not. Which is why Obsidian left the website in disgust to start his very own blog called The Obsidian Files. Here’s his new blog URL:
http://theobsidianfiles.wordpress.com/
There, he confronts the HBDers such as Roissy and One STDV.
My mom had surgery Wednesday, so I didn’t blog in the past three days. But that Roissy guy gets under my skin though.
La Reyna
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A Roissy poster went so far as to use the N word in response to the LEGITIMATE criticisms leveled at Roissy for his DISGUSTING, RACIST, ANTI-BW post.
that commenter,dana, is a troll for r’s blog. She trolls for two of the regular blk commenters there. She posted that she’s been a troll for ten years so that should tell you something about her.
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Does anyone know if Roissy censors or moderates his comments? I am a bit surprised he let that troll comment stand.
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La Reyna:
Thanks for the link to Obsidian’s blog. And hope you mother gets well.
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therighttoparty Says:
dont we all “read what we want to read”?? the guy probably needs to reword his article but i dont see the ANTI-BW in it….?
It goes way beyond rewording. Why write such a post in the first place unless you assumed that black women are somehow different and exotic, as if they were not quite human? And why write such a post unless you assumed that black women are all the same and do not have all the individual differences you see among women everywhere?
It would be like if I wrote a post called, “The first time I talked to an Asian man”. What would that say about what I think about Asian men?
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Hope your mom gets well soon La Reyna. 🙂
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I got no space in my life for dummies who are too dimwitted to see who I am and persist in defining me mainly by race.
I don’t think the problem is a low IQ. I think he has a perfectly average brain.
I think the problem is that he doesn’t want to think because it would inconvenience him if he started having to treat black women as human beings.
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Which is why Obsidian left the website in disgust to start his very own blog called The Obsidian Files.
Obsidian was too normal for Roissy’s. I read his blog sometimes and have had some discussions with him elsewhere.
Does anyone know if Roissy censors or moderates his comments? I am a bit surprised he let that troll comment stand.
He doesn’t censor unless someone posts something over and over. Then he usually lets a few posts stand and deletes the others. I think he gets a kick out of trolls, actually.
I think the problem is that he doesn’t want to think because it would inconvenience him if he started having to treat black women as human beings.
This.
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Rather than give him credit I want to throw pies at him. Or rocks. Or really big stones. Or boulders.
i’ll take your sweet, sweet love instead.
(retracted if you are a man or an ugly woman.)
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Ugh, Roissy.
If I’d have known you were going to read that I wouldn’t have complimented you, even backhandedly. And what are you doing at Abagond’s, anyway? It’s hardly your usual crowd, is it? Do all the black people make you nervous?
Although, I have to laugh that you are so terribly predictable and consistent. If you ever made a post that didn’t treat women like a piece of dung we’d all fall over in shock.
Now you go back to your whoring and I’ll go back to my husband and all will be well.
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Does anyone know if Roissy censors or moderates his comments? I am a bit surprised he let that troll comment stand.
Sometimes but it’s never against the racist trolls. I’m put on moderation quite often in those parts.
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abagond,
The one good thing about the Roissy post is that it offers a useful example of the type of DISGUSTING, PERVERTED, PIG ALL BW should avoid.
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He moderates but he doesn’t censor, as far as I know. Strange that he moderates Chic Noir because her comments are usually incredibly mild.
Agreed, Laromana.
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So true, Laromana.
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To posters,
Thank you for keeping my mother in your thoughts.
And as for that Roissy character, not only he stereotypes Black women, he stereotypes Black men as well. His comment about Black men says more about his racial insecurity and paranoia than anything else with the exception of Black women stereotypes. His minions such as Willard Libby, Bob, GNP,etc., not only stereotype us, but constantly put us down and use racist/sexist slurs worthy of Don Imus.
La Reyna
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More stupid-@## commentary from Roissy at Black Men, White Women:
“Here are my thoughts on interracial dating. Despite all the sound and fury, I don’t see too much of it. Most people date *long term* within their race. There are likely evolutionarily mediated reasons for this. Women are more racist than men in the realm of dating. They are less open to having relationships with men of different races, while men are bigger whores who will happily fuck a cute chick from any race. (Commitment is another matter.)
So in the bigger picture, I don’t see many white woman-black man couples strolling around the city holding hands. In comparison, I see about three times as many white man-asian woman couples. These are my observations in DC and in major cities on the East coast; the numbers on the ground might be different in other parts of the country. Of the BM-WF couples I do see, I notice two different types: The Maury Povich who’s-the-daddy fat white trash girl with the thug, and the hot blonde, usually European girl with the handsome, well-dressed, and educated-looking yuppie black man. There doesn’t seem to be much middle ground between those two types.
From casual conversation, my white guy friends don’t find the general population of black girls attractive. Their preferences are decidedly skewed toward white chicks. I only know one white guy who has yellow fever. He proudly proclaims it, too. From my conversations with black women, they are even more racially provincial. I get the impression that black women don’t find men outside their race at all physically attractive. I’m an outlier, in that I’m the recipient of a lot of flirty attention from black women. I think if I were an even blacker dude than I already am, I would clean up with black women. King Kong ain’t got nothing on me.
So this is why black women are screwed, it would seem. Available black guys are hooking up with women of all races, white and Asian guys don’t much like black girls, and black women only want to be with black guys. I can’t think of a worse recipe for resentment and bitterness. Since men do some choosing in the sexual market (though men are not as choosy as women on average, neither are they mannequins standing around waiting for women to pick them out of the crowd), the choice by white and Asian men to overlook black women is going to have repercussions.”
So he thinks Black women are jealous and resentful of Black men/White Women relationships? Please. I don’t spend my waking moment obsessing over such relationships like some White men such as Roissy do. He’s the one with the problem. That commentary says more about him than the Black women he frequently bashes.
La Reyna
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LaReyna,
Roissy knows NOTHING about REAL BW and he NEVER will.
You’re correct in your assessment of him as an ANTI-BLACK/RACIST HATER who promotes LIES, MYTHS, and STEREOTYPES about BW and is insecure about BM having relationships with NON-BLACK women.
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Roissy knows NOTHING about REAL BW and he NEVER will.
I completely agree. He’s clueless about BW. Obsidian gets us but, unfortunately, he’s blabbing to the whole world about it now.
Here’s the deal on Roissy:
Game works. It just does. Game works on women like a low neckline and a short skirt work on men. We’re programmed that way. Any playa can tell you that. But it works differently on different women.
The “problem” with BW (especially the middle and upper-class BW who are under a lot of pressure to succeed and not end up someone’s baby-mamma) is that we know Game. We see it in use all around us. We recognize swagger, blow off negs, and weed through the PUAs efficiently. You act like that and we’ll drop you like a rock. We don’t even give it a chance to work on us. We see it coming from a mile away, put on blinders, and say, “Oh hell no. Not one of those. Pass. Next, please.”
Now, once you’re in a relationship a little bit of Game can go a long way. And women can have Game, too (I mentioned that in that other post.) There’s nothing wrong with Game itself, but obvious Game will get you vetted out by any self-respecting BW. We’ve got enough crap to deal with everyday without having to put up with playas.
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“The “problem” with BW (especially the middle and upper-class BW who are under a lot of pressure to succeed and not end up someone’s baby-mamma) is that we know Game. We see it in use all around us. We recognize swagger, blow off negs, and weed through the PUAs efficiently. You act like that and we’ll drop you like a rock. We don’t even give it a chance to work on us. We see it coming from a mile away, put on blinders, and say, “Oh hell no. Not one of those. Pass. Next, please.””
Thank you! I avoid “game” and an overcompensating swagger like the plague. It’s too cliche.
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Yes, but the difficulty is when quality men know and use Game. They keep it to themselves at the beginning but then pull it out to thwart “female Game” when it’s time for a commitment. It’s hard to vet those guys. That’s when plan B comes into play: keep your legs closed.
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This dude is utterly ridiculous! Siditty Rocks for setting him straight on his blog.
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Siditty Rocks for setting him straight on his blog.
Yeah, kudos to her for the effort, but she’s wasting her breath. Trying to influence someone as corrupt as Roissy is like shaking your hand at the sun: pointless.
I need to write a post on Game to show what it’s SUPPOSED to be used for. These PUAs are taking something valuable and twisting it for evil purposes. Drives me crazy.
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@B&G
Yes please!!! I was going to ask more about this Game stuff….but thought was one of those if you need it explained to you then you don’t need to know, type things…… lol
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Sure. The first time I heard about Game I thought: what in the world is that? LOL. I’ll work on it tomorrow. Gotta get off the computer now.
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Well… what do you know? Obsidian just wrote a thoughtful piece on Game:
http://theobsidianfiles.wordpress.com/2009/11/18/discourses-upon-the-game-from-a-personal-point-of-view/
This is exactly right. Game is about understanding the intrinsic nature of the opposite sex and using that ability to deepen your relationship with one of them. And that usually leads to more and better sex.
Of course, some people claim that long term relationship (LTR) Game is an oxymoron. They say game should be about “pumping and dumping” (isn’t that a charming phrase?) and everything else is just relationship advice. The jury’s still out on that one.
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Aw ha…..noted and thanks : )
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Even though I find him somewhat insightful and spot on about some things, I don’t like that guy.
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Hello Agabond,
I was running a Google search for my name and your site came up. Didn’t even know you existed, and I’m very pleased that you happen to be Black as well! Also very pleased that my humble abode has been mentioned here. I’m most happy to return the favor; I’ll be adding you to my blogroll momentarily.
Thanks so much again for the kudos and glad to meet ya and everyone else here!
The Obsidian
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I read his blog post because of you and it made me sick to my stomach.
The black penis thing(why, as a white man, would you be thinking about black male genitalia during sex?), him painting his fling as an exotic Jezebel…ect
This behavior is typical of white men that *think* they are being open-minded by dating/sexing black women. Despite their wide palate when it comes to women they STILL manage to stereotype and paint black women as abstract objects.
In addition to that, he had some dumbass post about black women having more testosterone than women of other races. I dont know if that is true but he made it seem as though black women have more testosterone than Asian and White men. Again adding to the manly, unfeminine stereotype of black women.
PS even if black women had more testosterone than other races of women there is no way they are rivaling White/Asian men in the testosterone department. If that was the case most normal weight black women wouldnt have the butts and curves we are so famous for!
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LMAO apparently a woman by the name of Lady Raine has “exposed” Roissy DC.
I hate to ad hom but he is delusion and his blog sounds like a cry for help. Any man in his 40s that finds solace in hopping from hole to hole has some deep seeded issues. He sees no use for women besides sex and some conversation and has no desire to marry, yet he is still bitching.
Him and his followers have everything they claim they want but still seen unhappy, what gives?
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Is this guy for real? I mean, is this some kind of a joke, or a serious blog?
(why, as a white man, would you be thinking about black male genitalia during sex?)
Why would any heterosexual man think about other people’s penises during sex? hmmm….
In addition to that, he had some dumbass post about black women having more testosterone than women of other races.
I didn’t catch that, but frankly, it sounds like some pathetic rubbish. It doesn’t make any sense. In any case, the difference, if exists, must be minimal, since healthy woman is a woman.
If that was the case most normal weight black women wouldnt have the butts and curves we are so famous for!
Do you think female hormones give curves?
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Mira,
Do you think female hormones give curves?
They do. During puberty, estrogen changes the fat distribution on women, mainly to the hips, thighs, and butt and stimulates breast growth. Wider hips correlate to higher estrogen levels. However, high estrogen levels are not necessarily a good thing.
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@ Mira
Yeah he was serious alright. Like Abagond said I dont know what is going on here, either he realized he was wrong but was to bullish to admit it or it went over his head.
And yes, the presence of estrogen is need in order for youth women to under go secondary sexual development…I only bring up the stereotypical black woman’s body because I get sick of hearing that black women are curvier (on average) than other races of women and then hearing we look like men.
He didnt say it in this particular post but in one post he said black women look less feminine(on average) because they have higher testosterone levels…and then went on to say that is way few white men are into black women.
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@Y
And yes, the presence of estrogen is need in order for youth women to under go secondary sexual development…
Yes, I know estrogen makes us women, so to speak, but I thought it’s “as the opposite of men”, not “shape of our body” kind of way. I thought skinny/thin women have the same levels of estrogen, but their figures are less curvy because they got the figure from their mothers, grandmothers, etc.
I only bring up the stereotypical black woman’s body because I get sick of hearing that black women are curvier (on average) than other races of women and then hearing we look like men.
Yes, that doesn’t make sense. If black women are curvy, that can only mean they are more feminine than other races of women. Curves are feminine. I’m not saying all black women are curvy and non white women are (I am a curvy white woman after all :P), and no, I don’t think thin women are unfeminine- but you can’t say “black women have more testosterone… and they are also more curvy”, and expect that to make sense. No. If curves are feminine trait (and they are), then black women are the most feminine of all races (if you take what is called “stereotypical body”). It’s the only logical way this argument can go.
(What I don’t understand here is that the guy writes about his experience with black women, right? And he consider them unfeminine? Or what?)
and then went on to say that is way few white men are into black women.
Few white men are into black women because of racism. Arguably, some of them might be strictly into skinny women and don’t like curves, but I bet there are thin black women so it has nothing to do with it.
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@ Mira
True. Estrogen “makes us women” but that doesnt mean thin women have less. Estrogen helps but ultimately body type/morphology determine how curvy a woman is.
Roissy basically said that on average black women look less feminine than other races of women. He was just writing about his token black chick, he just had sex with her he wasnt the least bit interested in her long term.
Yes, few white men are into black women because of racism. That doesnt mean white men that arent into black women are racist but we have seen time and again that white men in the US have a special aversion to black women. Even on this blog white men that find black women attractive AVOID black women because of perceived “ghetto mentalities” and the humiliation of possible rejection from a black woman.
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Y says,
Yes, few white men are into black women because of racism. That doesnt mean white men that arent into black women are racist but we have seen time and again that white men in the US have a special aversion to black women. Even on this blog white men that find black women attractive AVOID black women because of perceived “ghetto mentalities” and the humiliation of possible rejection from a black woman.
laromana says,
Excellent point, Y. I’ve always believed that ANTI-BW RACISM is the MAIN reason MOST American WM don’t SERIOUSLY DATE and/or MARRY BW.
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“white men that find black women attractive AVOID black women because of perceived “ghetto mentalities” and the humiliation of possible rejection from a black woman.”
I have to agree with that, and I’m a white male. I also think more white men find black women attractive, they just don’t make it public for fear of harassment from other black and white people, especially white women their own age.
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that guy is a douche, someone should smack him across his face…some wm truly astound me with their ignorance, in one thread he called bw sluts too…idiot
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you know what…dochartailgh
that’s cowardly…and prejudiced. I’m starting to get fed up w/ this mentality that seems to be so prevalent in some white males. Due to the cultural upbringing that teaches so many wm to look down on and devalue black females, I am starting to lose it. I’m really getting fed up with it as a black female this is why its so difficult to get romantically involved with white males… for the most part. Atleast w/ a black guy we don’t have to deal w/ the outright racist attitudes 4 the most part…
I’m just tired of having to defend my position as a bw. I’m tired of having to explain and explain things and never see any changes. I’m tired of white supremacist culture constantly “othering,” bw like we’re not real women or something it truly makes it impossible to have a romantic relationship w/ a white guy. Maybe someday bw/wm will get along, but I don’t see it…
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“laromana says,
Excellent point, Y. I’ve always believed that ANTI-BW RACISM is the MAIN reason MOST American WM don’t SERIOUSLY DATE and/or MARRY BW.”
I agree Laromana, also I am not trying to be mean here and I am not saying most wm are like this, its only some. But some white men seem to be just downright scared of black women…yes, scared. I don’t mean scared of a relationship, I mean intimidated, afraid of us. For whatever reason…wm see bw as more threatening and its like they’re afraid we’re either going to kick their butt or put a voodoo curse on them or something…i don’t get it.
I’m getting tired of the bw have more testosterone argument too…If that were the case, then that would explain why some wm were afraid of bw, we’d have that testosterone to kick their butts afterall, but since we don’t and hormonal levels have nothing to do w/ having brown skin and kinky hair…what’s the problem??? I’m getting tired of these news stations telling bw to “go get a wm,” why should we go out of our arena, when its not our fault we’re being treated so badly anyway??? we are not obligated to go chasing after white men…please
we’re not the ones who created Jim Crow and the jezebel,sapphire and mammy stereotype so why in the HELL are we constantly portrayed like we’re doing something wrong to keep men away from us…i’m sick and tired of it…sick and tired!!!
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“Is this guy for real? I mean, is this some kind of a joke, or a serious blog?
(why, as a white man, would you be thinking about black male genitalia during sex?)
Why would any heterosexual man think about other people’s penises during sex? hmmm….”
Response:That goes back to the whole cuckhold thing…the fantasizing/obsession w/ the black male genitalia. I’m now convinced that these type of white guys who speaks so vicious towards bw, secretly desire bm….or atleast desire to have what they perceive to be “black male swagger/sexuality.”
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@ Ó Dochartaigh
“I have to agree with that, and I’m a white male. I also think more white men find black women attractive, they just don’t make it public for fear of harassment from other black and white people, especially white women their own age.”
Yes, if a white man finds black chicks attractive or even prefers them people will call him a loser and say he is fetishizing black women because white women dont want him. Roissy himself has said, in his comment section, that white guys fetishizing Asians and Blacks because they are failing with there own women.
I have caught white dudes checking me out but they abruptly look away…I dont know if they are embarrassed or think Im going to cuss them out sapphire style. I had one ask me out on a few dates, even though he wasnt my type I had to give him serious props for asking me out, and coming correct.
@Peanut
“I agree Laromana, also I am not trying to be mean here and I am not saying most wm are like this, its only some. But some white men seem to be just downright scared of black women…yes, scared. I don’t mean scared of a relationship, I mean intimidated, afraid of us. For whatever reason…wm see bw as more threatening and its like they’re afraid we’re either going to kick their butt or put a voodoo curse on them or something…i don’t get it.”
Yes a lot have that mentality. There is a white guy that lives on my floor ( live in a dorm) that I pass in the hallway quite often. Usually I smile at people as I pass them if they make eye contact with me. This particular guy always avoided eye contact so I dont smile, greet, or look in his direction. Out of the blue he came up to my roommate(she is the RA) and asked her why I didnt say hello to him.
She came up to me as says “Matt was wondering why you didnt say hello”
I was like what!? First of all I didnt even know his name. Second he was dodging ME. Third if he wanted to talk to me so badly he could have said something to me, not go to my roommate asking questions. I felt personally affronted, its as if I(a black female) need to go out of my way to get a simple “Hello”. For what ever reason may white guys dont see what is wrong with this mentality.
Anyways I DIDNT say anything to him because his behavior was pure bullshit. Eventually my roommate introduced us. We are cool now but I am still a little perplexed by that mentality. And what is shocking is he’s a really nice guy and very, very talkative.
At the end of the day most black women want to be treated like WOMEN FIRST. Personally I dont care if you find me attractive just treat me the way you treat other races of women. The rest will come in due time.
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@ Peanut
The more I hear about IRR from white males the more I think they are FAR more interested in cuckoldry fantasies and sex with black men than sex with black women.
I know its wrong of me, but most WM cant discuss IRR(in any capacity) without linking it to black men in one way or another.
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Ok, now that I read several pages on that blog I got a better picture of this… person. This guy obviously has a problem and “alpha male” complex. No true alpha males would make a blog about how alpha they are. Those who talk, don’t f… All in all, the guy is a total douche. But that’s besides the point here.
@Y
Roissy basically said that on average black women look less feminine than other races of women. He was just writing about his token black chick, he just had sex with her he wasnt the least bit interested in her long term.
Which proves Roissy don’t know how to use logic and common sense, if nothing else. If black women are so “masculine looking”, as he claims, how come they have the most feminine bodies? His argument makes no sense.
Also, the reason behind his lack of interest in that woman is not that she is not feminine, it’s something else.
Yes, few white men are into black women because of racism. That doesnt mean white men that arent into black women are racist but we have seen time and again that white men in the US have a special aversion to black women. Even on this blog white men that find black women attractive AVOID black women because of perceived “ghetto mentalities” and the humiliation of possible rejection from a black woman.
Well, true, there is something called “preference”. There’s nothing really wrong about not being attracted to curvy body, or chocolate brown skin. Ok. They say it’s a matter of preference. Sure. But if that’s really the case (and not racism), those men would date thin black women, or light skinned black women. Black women are not an uniform group (like some whites seem to think), nor they “all look alike”, so if it’s really about personal preferences and not racism, I am sure many black women would fit their preferences. Also, many men who say they have preference for blondes date brunettes. No big deal. But this is not the case. Which means it’s not about preferences but about racism.
As for fear of rejection, I guess it must be horrible, but if you are a man, you must be prepared to be rejected from time to time. There’s no difference if a white woman rejects you, it’s the same with black women. I really don’t know what those supposedly non-racist white men expect. What do they fear? The “Sorry, I don’t date white people” answer? I guess it could be disappointing, but c’est la vie. Consider that answer the same as: “Sorry, not interested, I am married”. Life goes on. It doesn’t matter another girl you like would give you the same answer.
Plus, I am not really sure how many black women would give that answer. This would be interesting to see. I bet the number is significantly lower than white men, obviously, fear. They hear “black women don’t tend to date outside the race” and are sure that’s because they all reject any non-black man that asks them on a date. But how many non-black (or, let’s stick to white) men really approach black women? How many of them is really interested?
As for “ghetto mentality” (whatever that means), I guess many people dislike it. Ok. But who says all black women are ghetto? I bet they don’t think all white women are white trash/redneck (whatever it’s called). Imagine men (of any race) saying: I don’t want to date white women because they are rednecks”. Not “I don’t want to date redneck women”, but like it’s assume just because you’re white you must be redneck.
And after all of this, they say it’s not about race, it’s about preference. Right.
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Mira:
Excellent comment – especially about both Roissy and so-called preferences.
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Y,
Yes, if a white man finds black chicks attractive or even prefers them people will call him a loser and say he is fetishizing black women because white women dont want him.
Hmmm… If someone says they prefer/only date X (wo)men, especially if that is a person outside of their race, I tend to be suspicious about their underlying motive. I certainly would not date a man who said “Yeah, I only date black women. They are hot/beautiful/whatever.” The person’s race should not be the primary reason for dating them, even if it is a factor.
Mira,
Black women are not an uniform group (like some whites seem to think), nor they “all look alike”, so if it’s really about personal preferences and not racism, I am sure many black women would fit their preferences. Also, many men who say they have preference for blondes date brunettes. No big deal. But this is not the case. Which means it’s not about preferences but about racism.
Good point. And one I bring up all the time with people who say they won’t date X people. They say it’s a preference, but a preference is a penchant for something, not an absolute requirement. All X people should not be out of the running simply for being a race that is not the “preference.” Unless it’s something more than preference. Much more.
Plus, I am not really sure how many black women would give that answer. This would be interesting to see. I bet the number is significantly lower than white men, obviously, fear. They hear “black women don’t tend to date outside the race” and are sure that’s because they all reject any non-black man that asks them on a date.
The white men who express a “preference” for white women tend to point out “Black women don’t like to date white men either!” if someone calls them out on it. I think the media makes too much of black women not dating outside their race… I’ve seen numerous news programs and studies on it. They make it seem like only .005 percent of black women date outside the race, and that is the reason why they have lower marriage rates. Which is bull, obviously. They should do a study on how many white men and women date outside their race. Now that would be more interesting.
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Mira:
Right, true preferences do not work in such an absolute manner.
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Well, that’s the way I see this problem. The only thing I am not sure about is whether those men know their racist views are what prevents them from dating black women. Or do they truly and honestly believe that’s “just a matter of preference”.
And you’re right, Abagond, preferences are not absolute. All people have preferences but they often date people who don’t fit those preferences, or fit some but not the others. It’s not a big deal. Not to mention the “he’s not my type but I like him a lot and I am really attracted to him” situations. As far as I can tell, that doesn’t happen here. So I can bet it’s not really about preferences.
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Mira,
The only thing I am not sure about is whether those men know their racist views are what prevents them from dating black women. Or do they truly and honestly believe that’s “just a matter of preference”.
At bottom, in their subconscious, they know it’s racism and white supremacy at work. At least the ones who stop and think about it. But, like many matters rpertaining to black-white relations in the U.S., some white men have deceived themselves into consciously thinking that their thoughts regarding race are benign and logical. And it’s everyone else who is trying to shame and blame them for what they can not help but think, that have the problem.
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Y says…
“@ Peanut
The more I hear about IRR from white males the more I think they are FAR more interested in cuckoldry fantasies and sex with black men than sex with black women.
I know its wrong of me, but most WM cant discuss IRR(in any capacity) without linking it to black men in one way or another.”
response: i agree 100% with this and there is a hint of racism, to be honest in this fantasy that some wm have as it pertains to black male genitalia and someone has to start bringing it up…it also makes me question their masculinity, I can’t tell u how odd it is to have white guys bring up black penises whenever the topic of bw comes up…
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Yes, that is interesting. I always thought this envy thing was just a myth. But it looks like it might be, in fact, true.
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I’ve discovered lately that I can be friendly w/ white guys, but for me personally I don’t know that I could ever be in a romantic relationship with a white guy to be honest. Because everytime I try and bring up the issue of racism or point out their obvious insensitivity to topics pertaining to racism, minorities or prejudice, it just seems to make the situation worse…there is an arguement or there is an awkwardness that doesn’t go away. It just seem like no matter how hard I try to explain stuff, it doesn’t get through. Like there is a wall up or something and I’m finding this to be true in 90% of the interaction w/ white guys I have. there might be 2 who try to understand what I’m talking about, the rest seem to have issues either admitting that there is benefit to being white in this day and age or just avoid/ignore issues of race altogether. I can’t live my life around someone who I can’t talk to in a natural sense about my experiences as a black woman. I tried to open myself up to white guys, but I am starting to realize that for cultural reason I really prefer bm or atleast other minorities, like latinos. I am not saying all wm are like this or ruling all white guys out, but I’m tired of being dissapointed continuously to be honest.
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I guarentee you, I dont think of black penises when Im having sex with a black woman.
Pretty weird stuff, if this is how most white males think in the USA, it is pretty bad.
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Peanut,
You deserve to be with someone who respects and understands you (as much as two people can understand each other). You should not waste your time on someone who obviously isn’t interested in you, or learning about things that are important to you, such as you racial identity.
It’s good to be open minded and giving people benefit of the doubt, but if someone is a lost case, just forget about him. If all white men you meet are like this, just forget about them. You should not waste your time on them.
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B. R.,
I don’t think all whites are obsessed about it (I mean, isn’t that… borderline gay in some ways?), but it looks some white men, indeed, are. I couldn’t believe it.
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Peanut,
I wouldn’t focus on a race(s) of men, just talk to any man you’re interested in and see how it works out. Not all white men are deluded and avoidant of race issues. Focusing on race unnecessarily limits your options and it could cause you to miss out on a person who would be perfect for you.
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“Which proves Roissy don’t know how to use logic and common sense, if nothing else. If black women are so “masculine looking”, as he claims, how come they have the most feminine bodies? His argument makes no sense. ”
Also what I find odd is the fact that he says bw are so masculine, yet he sleeps with one??…This is the type of hypocrisy I do not understand. Is he fantasizing about bm while he is sleeping with the bw?? Maybe its that she reminds him of a bm…? I’m not really sure, but it makes no sense to me.
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The problem with the “black men are well-hung” line of thinking is that it otherizes and dehumanizes black men and black people. And then it starts bleeding into other aspects. If black men are predisposed to larger penises, why can’t they also be predisposed to violent and barbaric behavior? Or stupidity? Or…
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y, you wrote:
Yes, if a white man finds black chicks attractive or even prefers them people will call him a loser and say he is fetishizing black women because white women dont want him.
Your statement is a tower of silliness. Obviously you live in some alternate reality, that, if it exists, is populated by children.
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@Peanut
Also what I find odd is the fact that he says bw are so masculine, yet he sleeps with one??…
Yes, this is confusing.
This is the type of hypocrisy I do not understand. Is he fantasizing about bm while he is sleeping with the bw??
lol, I like this theory!
@Natasha W
Natasha W
The problem with the “black men are well-hung” line of thinking is that it otherizes and dehumanizes black men and black people. And then it starts bleeding into other aspects. If black men are predisposed to larger penises, why can’t they also be predisposed to violent and barbaric behavior? Or stupidity? Or…
This is an interesting issue. Especially to me, since this is the only (as far as I know) stereotype about black people that exist even in my culture. Where is seen as positive. (I mean, I’m not saying I see it as positive, it’s regarded as such in my culture).
That’s why I’d love Abagond to do a post on it. I think he planed to incorporate this problem in his Fanon posts, but I am not sure if it’s possible.
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Peanut-YES!YES!YES!
I’m WF and have trouble finding men who recognize and understand how sexism is still rampant! I’m straight and doing everything I can not to lose heart on all men. Are there any guys out there who want to be (real) allies to women? Don’t get me started on the male self-identified “feminists” who swear up and down that they are my allies as they tell me to be grateful for what I have and stop being “so angry.” I’m really sorry about your experiences. I also try to bring up white privilege and racism, thinking naively that I can use MY white privilege to educate them. it is still a battle and i can’t help but feel it’s because i’m the female in the equation. and when they start getting uncomfortable, they start bringing up the “anger” stuff again.
at the start of my current relationship, my bf denied there was a meaningful wage gap, but i just kept talking about it, without forcing him to change his opinions, and stating the facts. with time, he’s not denying it anymore. helps that he loves his mom, i suppose. but i feel like it is the typical white male thing to do-to deny that there can’t exist something you don’t personally experience or know about. i don’t blame you at all…not at all. i hope that one day, a white guy can be humble and brave enough to acknowledge your experiences and your reality. then he’ll get the true privilege of knowing the whole you instead of just the comfortable box he wants to put you in.
peace and love.
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@ Mira
“Well, true, there is something called “preference”. There’s nothing really wrong about not being attracted to curvy body, or chocolate brown skin. Ok. They say it’s a matter of preference. Sure. But if that’s really the case (and not racism), those men would date thin black women, or light skinned black women. Black women are not an uniform group (like some whites seem to think), nor they “all look alike”, so if it’s really about personal preferences and not racism, I am sure many black women would fit their preferences. Also, many men who say they have preference for blondes date brunettes. No big deal. But this is not the case. Which means it’s not about preferences but about racism.”
Exactly I have preference but they are flexible. If I am attracted to someone than doesnt fit my ideal I would be MORE than willing to give it a shot.
At the end of the day people can chose who the want. If someone doesnt want me, fine someone else will.
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Y says,
@ Mira
“Well, true, there is something called “preference”. There’s nothing really wrong about not being attracted to curvy body, or chocolate brown skin. Ok. They say it’s a matter of preference. Sure. But if that’s really the case (and not racism), those men would date thin black women, or light skinned black women. Black women are not an uniform group (like some whites seem to think), nor they “all look alike”, so if it’s really about personal preferences and not racism, I am sure many black women would fit their preferences. Also, many men who say they have preference for blondes date brunettes. No big deal. But this is not the case. Which means it’s not about preferences but about racism.”
laromana says,
I couldn’t agree with you more. For years I have wondered why MOST American WM/NON-BM always claim to have a “preference” that NEVER includes BW (in all of their DIVERSITY) and yet their “preference” seems to include ALL OTHER NON-WW. I’ve drawn the same conclusion as you that ANTI-BW RACISM is the real reason behind the “preferences” of MOST of these American WM/NON-BM.
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Y sais ” I have preference but they are flexible. If I am attracted to someone than doesnt fit my ideal I would be MORE than willing to give it a shot.
At the end of the day people can chose who the want. If someone doesnt want me, fine someone else will. ”
Y , that is on the money, nice picture , too
Ill tell you, with the reports recently of tea baggers spewing racial epiphits at black congressmen,articles like this guy, John Meyers flipant bs,super uptight right wing Chirstians, Im beggining to wonder if there are many decent white males left in America.
I mean we are talking about the race of men , in the USA, that gave us fart lighting and moons people out of their car windows for a good time. And absolutoy the worst dressed people on the planet.
I guess the only decent white males in Ameica, are surfers and jazz musicians….
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nina, you wrote:
at the start of my current relationship, my bf denied there was a meaningful wage gap, but i just kept talking about it, without forcing him to change his opinions, and stating the facts.
Wage gap? In other words, there are different gender and racial pay scales for lawyers joining firms after law school. Different gender pay for doctors coming out of med school. Different gender pay for teachers entering a public school system.
How about the US military? Different gender pay grades? Or not?
I admit that black males in the NBA make more than females in the WNBA, but what can you do?
It strikes me that you miss the fact that if it were possible to hire women for less, then the smart employer would hire only women and still sell his product or service for the prevailing price, thereby earning himself a bigger profit.
Moreover, if it were possible to hire women for less, then women would start their own companies and either exploit the situation or hire only women and pay them top dollar.
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That example begs the question: it tries to prove that employers are not racist by first assuming that they are not racist.
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BTW when I say “ghetto mentalities” I mean having a nasty attitude, mean disposition, loud, obnoxious, stupid, low-class, promiscuous, unclean, irresponsible, inarticulate and the list goes on…
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White women can be nasty, mean, loud, stupid, low-class, promiscuous, unclean, irresponsible, inarticulate… Not all of them. But some of them are. It has nothing to do with skin colour.
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More Roissy buffoonery here:
http://roissy.wordpress.com/2008/12/29/its-easy-to-identify-a-slut/
Apparently being black is a red flag for sluts.
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@ Y
What a fool, the whole black woman is a slut thing what a dickhead!
You know I was listening to a podcast on blog talk radio and there was a stupid list that was made up as to why some black men did not date black women and it was some said it was because we are sleep around a lot and further down the list it said we were prude or frigid.
How can you be a slut and and a prude at the same time! The same old mammy, jezebel contradiction.
Back in highschool my friend who is pakistani started behaving like a ho and her dad blamed us (us being all her black friends) even though we never went out with her to do her ho movements it was her and one white girl in the clique. Her mum would call all of us in the middle of the night asking where she was as if we were out with her.
My have friends who have told me that white girls were easier to get into bed that didn’t mean that they thought the every single white girl was a slut it was their experience.
Anyway Roissy himself sounds like a ho.
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This guy is full of sh!t. Simple as that. Not just his point about black women- the whole list is stupid and reads more like a cry for help than post made by an “alpha male”.
First of all, saying any woman is a slut- for doing the exact same thing as man does- is disrespectful Who would want a man who sees women like that?
On a side note, my experience tells that men CAN’T tell if woman is “easy” or not.
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Unbeleivable !!
Just unbeleivable men are thinking this way and thinking they are cool or something.
I respect women with experiance , I beleive women have sexual desires like men , and, some people will have more experiance than others.
I beleive that the amount of sexual partners a person has , has nothing to do with if they are going to be unfaithful or not.
And the racist bs this guy and the other commentators spout is just one more nail in the coffin to demonstrate how racist and chumpy so many white males are, and, that they are the real cause for racial devide in the USA
I didnt know it was that bad in the states, Im so glad Im no there.
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First of all, saying any woman is a slut- for doing the exact same thing as man does- is disrespectful Who would want a man who sees women like that?
Whjy is that disrespectful?
In the first place, I respect sluts more than I respect so-called “good girls”.
In the second place, I’ll cheerfully call a promiscuous man a “slut”.
I’m for taking back the word “slut”, myself. It shouldn’t be an insult.
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Thad, read again. I didn’t say the word itself is bad, but if you take it as a bad, AND apply it to women, but not to men (who do the same thing), that is bad.
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Sure, the double standard is disrespectful. I understood that.
I just want to recover “slut”.
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@ Aiyo
Yeah he is a clown for sure.
The few black men(along with some other folks) in the comments section did a good job of pointing out is buffoonery.
One person even pointed out the man reason black men give for dating white women they are more open to different types of sex( blow jobs, and a little kinkier), not to say that white women are sluts.
Human beings are so irrational its not even funny.
@ Mira
He either thinks he is being clever or believes what he is writing. Given his track record I think he really believes this.
Roissy is so far from alpha its pathetic. He is probably just having sex with young, skinny women with low self esteem. Another thing I dont get about him proclaiming his alpha status is this: if he were to die tomorrow with out impregnating a woman he would be just as omega as a 52 year old virgin. He will be a evolutionary and biological dead end.
Also take a look at the links on his blog, Steve -the intellectual skinhead- Sailer is on it along with other neo-eugenicists….
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The guy is a looser.
I dont care if a guy like that gets succesful in his business or makes a lot of money, he is a first class jerk
Trying to judge a woman by how many partners she has had, or, if she is well traveled is so weak.
Falling in love has nothing to do with those factors
Give me a woman who is experianced and well traveled any day over one that only has had 3 partners and doesnt know anything about the world.
It just disgusts me to think white males are calculating about women and race like this , in the States.
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Abagond what in the hell was that I just read from the link you provided? Well I left the Roissy creep a couple of not so nice comments that are now stuck in moderation.
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Something like 50% of black women in the US have genital herpes, compared to 25% for white women.
Why is that?
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@Jason
I don’t buy that I do not trust stats.
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Jason, site your source? Where did you get those figures from?
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Jason is just a smelly troll…best to let him fester in the dark.
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Something like 50% of black women in the US have genital herpes, compared to 25% for white women.
Ask your mom, Jason.
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Something like 50% of black women in the US have genital herpes, compared to 25% for white women.
“Ask your mom, Jason.”
Don’t forget his extended female relations also Thaddeus.
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Oh! Good point, Hath.
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The people that came out with the 50% stat have since recanted. Unsurprisingly, statistical tricks were at play which skewed the numbers.
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Oh, of course they were. Figures.
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@La Reyna:
I came on this thread a little late, but I hope your mom is doing well. 🙂
I just started reading some of Roissy’s posts and from what I gather it’s absolutely vile. People actually follow his advice? What a sad and pathetic person he is.
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I read Roissy received so much negative feedback, he created another blog.
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Damn, this is painful. Getting knocked on the side of the head with a tire iron while having your feet burned in acid while your eyes are gouged is less painful than reading this guy’s comments.
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[…] Roissy syndrome is back https://abagond.wordpress.com/2009/11/11/the-roissy-syndrome/ […]
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“I used to think I was not being clear enough, that if I used just the right words then scales would drop from the eyes of white people.”—–The right words for white commenters is I agree or something along the lines of you agree with them. Other than that it never registers.
I have some examples of the reading while white type and I will be posting it here. There is nothing better than live examples.
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As can be seen reading while white does not necessarily require that you be white to make the mistakes in reading that you have. It really is just a name for a common mistake found in white readers, but also in whitewashed readers.
You see one thing I said or view some type of exchange going on and in reality it is a total different story. Even when referred back to said comments in questions you resort to petty name calling and really have no way to refute it.
Maybe it escapes you what you say and do. Maybe you don’t care. At any rate you have been caught doing it and at each turn you ignore or refuse to acknowledge that all the names and petty retort that you throw my way is all you.
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Example reading while white:
Some white dude: You are completely incoherent, or delusional. You make blanket statements about Christians.
Response: Do not address me if you can not act civil.
Some white dude:a goal post switching, cherry picking derailer. I was always talking about Muslim groups.
Response: No longer address me.
Some white dude: Foolish liberal. You don’t have a clue what you are talking about. You know nothing of the Muslim threat.
Response: Do not address me and at this point I must ask the moderator if you do again.
Some white dude: I win. You are not logical. It does not matter if I used fallacies.
Response: Moderator could you instruct him to no longer address me.
Some white dude: Crying to the moderator. You got nothing to say. I don’t think Christians are as violent as Muslims.
Moderator: No longer address.
Some white dude: You are attacking my character instead of my points. It is good I can keep cool in this situation unlike you.
I believe this is the best place for it.
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