I have written quite a bit about the physical beauty of women in this blog. But I have done it in bits and pieces and from different angles. There is no one post where I pull it all together. Since I spend quite a bit of time in replies to comments defending this stuff, I thought I would put it into a post.
So, here is what I find beautiful in women, all other things being equal, listed from the most important to the least:
- Eyes: the kind that seem deep, that seem to go all the way down to her soul, the kind I could look at forever. Big, dark almond-shaped eyes are the best.
- Lips: full and thick.
- Figure: thick, especially thick thighs, wide hips and a big bottom. Or, to say roughly the same thing with numbers, women with a WHR of 0.67 or less. (WHR is waist-to-hip ratio: waist measurement divided by that for the hips.)
- Cheekbones: high.
- Hair: black and thick. Long is better than short, but only if the length makes it seem thicker, like there is more of it. When women colour their hair I think it makes them look uglier.
- Breasts: big breasts do make a woman look better, in general, but it is not something I look for, like some men do.
- Skin colour: I think Naomi Campbell has the best skin colour, but for me it is not such a big deal like it is for some. Or so at least I tell myself. White or light-skinned women are beautiful too.
Please note that a woman can have none of these things and still be beautiful – or have them all and still be ugly. Beauty is a far more subtle thing than a mere list of the right parts. But, all things being equal, each of these things help.
Black women seem to have more of these things than other women; Latin women come second.
Of the places I have been to, Jamaica, Naples and New York have the best looking women, in that order. Going by what I have seen on the Internet, the best looking women of all are in Cameroon.
Things like shoes, handbags and dresses and so on do not seem to make a difference. Clothes might make the man, but not the woman.
The two things under a woman’s control that make the most difference are hair and weight. Everything else either does not matter much or there is little you can do about them.
If I know for a fact that a part is not natural, it destroys the effect it has. Even with hair.
All of this, of course, is merely my opinion, what I prefer. Different men like different things in women. I like this, another man like that and so on. I speak only for myself. But this should give you an idea of where I am coming from.
See also:
“When women colour their hair I think it makes them look uglier.”
Nice choice of words, “uglier,” as if they’re ugly already. Freudian slip, perhaps? Makes me wonder again how you REALLY feel about women, as does the general objectification of this post.
Regarding hair, what if they’re black and they “whiten” their hair not by colouring it, but by straightening it?
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ahhh, who cares, norm chompsky? it’s impossible for anyone to be PC all the time, and why should that offend you anyhow?
hey abagond, check out Fatou N’diaye
she would be thin, I guess, but she’s gorgeous all the same and I think you would think so too. At least, I adore her
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What do I like in a man.
Eyes: I like eyes that have laugh lines around them…Dark brown or steel grey – deep green…the color doesnt matter much as long as they are expressive
Lips: soft (no facial hair so I can feel his lips when he kisses me)
Figure: Shoulders and back that is strong, my favorite part on a man is the trapizus (sp?). Nice arms, that look like the muscles are developed by swinging a hammer or torquig a wrench…not in the gym. Srong legs. I want his body to walk with confidence and power…he can have some fat on him but I want to know he can protect me and build me a house (not buy me one…anyone can do that). I dont like those guys who spend all day in the gym…makes me think they would spend more time looking at themselvs and not me.
Smell: The smell of a man is important. I wrote a blog the other day about the way my husband smells. I love it…its the most important thing. A mans smell must be warm and earthy and masculine. I hate those body sprays that some boys and men wear.
Cheekbones: Not important – but I like a strong jaw…Lebonse men seem to have a great jaw lines.
Hair: Not important
Skin colour: Not important
Breasts: Developed pecs are nice…as long as they ar not over developed.
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why is it objectification to say what you like? Here’s what I like in men and if anyone feels objectified by that, well, I’m sorry but that’s how it is
I like my men to be darker rather than lighter, and I like my men to be black rather than anything else. But if I were choosing anything else, I would probably choose white men second. And I like my men to be well built but not fat and not thin. And I like them to be tall, but not taller than 6ft. And I like them to be well educated, and for them to have a well paying job and for them to bring home most of the bacon.
Why? I don’t know why. Who cares? Maybe from the way I was raised
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Since men spend so much time observing women’s looks, here is my list of what I like in men.
Eyes- Dark with dark features (dark eyebrows, long dark eyelashes).
I prefer light-skinned black men (which never went out of style, that’s so silly anyway, they’re men not something out of a wardrobe). If not black, I like East Indian or Puerto Rican men.
Lips- Full
Body – Tall, atheltic
Nose – a la Al B. Sure! He has a
strong profile (not to thin, or wide).
Most of all, men who are mature and kind and don’t objectify women.
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Aba I checked off the things I do have on that list LOL. The eyes, the lips, not so much the figure, the cheekbones, I have long hair, but its colored, and I do have big breasts. I have the whole big breasts on a stick effect which is funny, because my mom and my sisters have the thick thighs, wide hips, big butt thing going on and the size A cup breasts! We always joke about it. Nice post, I got a good laugh out of it.
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Abagond,
I love your blog! It’s one of only a few that I visit with any regularity.
I have replied to one of your posts before, but usually I just lurk.
I figured I’d join the women in listing what I like in a man.
I drool over men built like professional basketball players: I love a tall (6’3 or taller), fit(not skinny/thin) man.
I’m not paricular about race.
Neither do I care about eye color or hair. I appreciate dreads, bald men, blondes, curly heads, anything but pattern baldness. THAT I cannot tolerate. If you are losing your hair, go ahead and go bald.
I like facial hair. A man with a moustache and goatee is the hotness! I like a 5 O’clock shadow just as much.
I’m attracted to model-looking guys (think Jason Momoa, Morris Chestnut, or Gabriel Aubrey)BUT the men that I have loved and had long-term relationships with have looked nothing like that.
One was short (but fine), one was unattractive(but fine), and one was tall but not fine or handsome (he had a beer belly) but he had a killer wit and was brilliant.
What I’ve discovered is more important to me is intellect, sense of humor, strength, and spirituality. I think that’s true for many women: Seal/Heidi Klum, Jay Z/Beyonce, Janet Jackson/Jermaine Dupree, J-Lo/Marc Anthony. They are all beautiful women, but they needed more than a pretty face and a chiseled physique.
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^^^
Citing celeb examples …very credible. LOL.
Seal does have a chiseled physique and distinct male model looks. Before he snagged a record deal, he was exactly that: a male model.
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well what i like in a guy is his personality, sense of humor, someone i can talk to. plus he must look good and smell good because that’s a turn on. i have dated light and dark skin black men because as long they look good it doesn’t matter what skin tone they are. a nice body is a plus but i don’t mind dating big guys because i like the way they feel when you hug them. not too big though. the eyes also turns me on and full lips. i like tall guys but not “shaq” tall because i’m 5’2 and that wouldn’t work out. and lastly someone that loves me for me and treats me with respect.
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Intelligent, responsible, physically active, sensuous/horny (which is one of the benefits of physical activity), anti-every-ism.
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Wow, cool: that is interesting seeing what kind of things women like. I do not see it as objectification.
Even though it is unwise to draw any conclusions from the love life of celebrities, it is still interesting that so many beautiful women went for men who did not have model looks. Another example of that, from Brazil, is Adriana Bombom.
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norm chompsky of comment #1 on “uglier”: I think Tyra Banks is uglier than Naomi Campbell, but does that mean I think Naomi is ugly? Or even Tyra, for that matter? Hardly.
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lalala: I never heard of Fatou N’diaye before. Thanks.
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Thanks for realizing what I was trying to say, Abagond.
Physical beauty is a far more significant attribute to men.
In popular culture, these women are considered to be some of the most beautiful. Because they are beautiful, some would assume that they could have the “pick of the litter.” In their eyes, these are the most desireable men…not because of their looks, but because of their other strengths.
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Perhaps, a woman who’s lauded as “beautiful” and agrees with that labeling doesn’t want to distract any of the attention that she gets. So, she could always aim to be with a man who isn’t seen as physically desirable as she is.
Just as many celeb examples and more importantly, REAL LIFE examples counter what Aba and other posters were saying: many “beautiful” women did end up with equally good looking mates.
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Seeing a female’s outer beauty and speaking on it isn’t objectification. I think the only reason why men stress female beauty as they tend to is because beauty is expected of a female – while financial stability is expected of a male. When you go out with a man you expect him to pay. When a man goes out with you he expects you to look good. That’s just it. IMO of course.
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LOL. That is true, Strangefruit! The ladies have to “look good”. The fellas have to have a bank account that “looks good”.
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I think for me its less bank account and more…alpha male feeling. Safety, security. growing up around law enforcement and military men, you can sense an alpha male when he enters the room…other men sense it. Its the way he carries himself. He can be in sweat pants and a t-shirt, but everyone knows he is the alpha.
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More so than not, beautiful women DO go for men with model good looks. Halle Berry has NEVER dated an unattractive man and most models and actresses do go for good looks.
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While women do not care as much about looks as men do, they still matter.
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Halle actually dated Spike Lee, so maybe you might want to recant that statment, Anon.
Her white dentist boyfriend who paid for her cosmetic surgery at the beginning of her career wasn’t exactly Brad Pitt either so ….
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Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts. I don’t think Roberts is some goddess or anything. But I always thought they were an unusual pair. Men care more about looks than women do.
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