There are three main stereotypes that white Americans have had about black women for hundreds of years: Mammy, Jezebel and Sapphire. Whites have read the behaviour of black women through these stock images (along with some lesser ones):
Mammy is the Aunt Jemima black woman. She is fat, almost a mother earth figure, but she has no sex appeal. She is happy with her life of faithful service to white people. She smiles and laughs. Maybe too much. She has a good heart but she is not particularly bright or even all that trustworthy. In the 1960s the matriarch stereotype took her place, which in turn gave rise to the welfare queen in the 1970s.
Jezebel, named after an evil queen in the Bible, is a loose woman who wants sex all the time. She’s gotta have it. Yet at the same time she uses sex to draw men in to get what she wants. Sometimes it is money. Sometimes it is to destroy them. Hip hop videos and Halle Berry’s in “Monster’s Ball” push this image of black women. Angela Bassett refused the part in “Monster’s Ball” for just this reason.
Sapphire, named after a character in “Amos ‘n’ Andy”, always seems to have her hands on her hipswhile she is running her mouth – putting down her man, making everything into a fight, never taking anything lying down. She is an overbearing, hard and undesirable woman who drives men away – and so winds up alone. Think of Tichina Arnold’s character Pam in “Martin”. Michelle Obama comes dangerously close to being read this way.
Mammy was the main stereotype till the 1950s. Jezebel has been the main one in Hollywood films since the 1970s. Sex sells.
A study done in 1993 on white American university students showed that nearly all of them saw black women as Sapphires to some degree. It seems to be common among black men too. I am guilty of it myself, which is why I write this.
These stereotypes are not a well-meaning but unsuccessful attempt to understand black women. They are an attempt to excuse the behaviour of white people – and black men – towards black women.
A clear example of this is when black men bring up the Sapphire stereotype as an excuse to date and marry white women.
These stereotypes inform us that black women are happy to do the dirty work (Mammy), do not mind having sex and children without a wedding ring (Jezebel) and complain too much (Sapphire). And if so many of them find themselves bringing up their children without a man, it is their own fault (Sapphire).
The power of having Oprah and Claire Huxtable on television is that they cut right across these stereotypes and weaken them. (The older I get the more I understand Bill Cosby.)
The danger of hip hop is that it strengthens the idea that black women are nothing but “bitches” and “hoes” – Sapphires and Jezebels.
See also:
- stereotype
- More on the stereotypes:
- Jim Crow
- Jim Crow Museum of Racist Memorabilia – priceless
- black women
- Shirley Q. Liquor
- Race in America
- hip hop
- Michelle Obama
Thank you Abagond for writing this post. Just today, I read an article in the newspaper regarding the plight of Black women in America. The Urban League State of Black America just released the facts that Black women lagged behind white women in employment, health, and marriage.
What say you?
Stephanie B.
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Also, those stereotypes function to keep nonblack men from seeing Black women as potential partners for life as well as keeping white women on the symbolic pedestal.
Stephanie B.
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Anotehr good post and I picked that up about Michelle Obama too. I think Hillary has it in her too but of course she won’t be judged in such a harsh light.
Stepanie some men can see past the stereotypes so don’t worry, your prince will come.
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I have it on pretty good authority that the Sapphire stereotype is one of the main things in black women that turns off white men.
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Yes, the unsaid half of these stereotypes is what they say about white women, who presumably are the opposite of these stereotypes: chaste, moral, reasonable, good to their men and unsuited for lowly work.
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Yes, some men can see past these stereotypes.
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Right: Hillary and Michelle can act in just the same way but because of these stereotypes their actions will be read differently. What in white women is considered “assertive” and “independent” in black women becomes “aggressive” and “emasculating”.
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Stephanie: I think these stereotypes are part of why black women have a plight to begin with – or rather, why it goes on much longer than it should.
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Yes, the unsaid half of these stereotypes is they say about white women, who presumably are the opposite of these stereotypes: chaste, moral, reasonable, good to their men and unsuited for lowly work.
Good post my dear
You know I hear a lot of white men saying that Asian women are more of the above, and this is why so many of them are turning to Asian women now. What is your take on why so many white men like Asian women(good post for you to write). Please tell me more of what you have heard white men say regarding the Jezelbell and blk women sterotype.
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That’s because mainstream society posits Asians as being the Model Minority, so it follows that Asian women have the qualities that white men look in white women.
Steph
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I am half and half on the stereotyping of Black women. In all honesty, it seems a high percentage of black women do carry these stereotypes. I for one can say that because I see it on a daily basis wether it’s work, commuting, or going to social and events especially with the jezebels and sapphires. I do see many who also fit the Mammy stereotype as well. For some not to say not any of this true is lying. I am a man of color and although it’s sad that women of other backgrounds aren’t seen in similar light, some of these opinions are true sadly. Whether going out to a FUNCTION, PARTY, ETC, I do encounter this at least 80% of the time and there is no need for me to lie about that. To meet 20 percent who counter that argument are invisible these days. I love all women but these days, I’m just about totally turned off by many black women not because of skin color or trivial things like that, it’s the way a high percentage of them carry themselves especially the way good black men are treated. You cannot even have a 4th grade conversation without dealing with hostility, resentment and other baggage that comes along with that. It’s sad for me to say, but the stereotyping is true and the solution is unless black women teach their daughters otherwise to counter these perceptions or realities on understanding the self as well as loving the self, it will continue.
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Abagond,
There’s a comedian who go around making fun of Black women in the form of Shirley Q. Liquor. Ann has written a very good article on Charles Knipp on her blog at:
http://kathmanduk2.wordpress.com/2008/03/06/dogging-sistahs/
This is a must-read article. Please read it and write what you think of this man.
Stephanie B.
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Okay. It will be my post for Saturday.
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JMAC: 80% seems high, but yes, of course there are women who live up (down?) to these stereotypes. Sad to say.
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JMAC, et. al.: I’m just wondering why the burden is just on Black mothers to teach their daughters to counter these perceptions. Fathers have a role in it, too. In fact, the way girls tend to adore their fathers, I’d say they are even better candidates to instill in their daughters the qualities and character traits that attract Black men, better still, men in general. Unfortunately, I believe that SOME Black men have fallen in this area (or are absent altogether). But in all of this debate have Black men said what they want to see in Black women? Seems it’s always what they see in some of us. What do Black men want? Do THEY THEMSELVES even know?
I’m wondering: Is it because a good number of Black women have been left to fend for themselves that we are seen as being aggressive? Sometimes I get the feeling that we do what we do out of necessity–putting our foot down in order not to be totally run over.
Black men sometimes ask for a break when society claims there are “no good Black men, that they are all either gay, in jail, jobless or courting White women.” Can we, Black women, get a break when many of us are just doing what we need to do to make it? In fact, can a Black brother simply support us in our quest to do the right thing for the Black Family?
As for me, I really love Black men and am just not attracted to any other, but (though I’m not a Mammy, Jezebel or Sapphire–I’m a wonderful Black woman) Black men (for one reason or another) just don’t seem to love me back. Go figure! I think this is the plight many other Black women who don’t fit the above-mentioned stereotypes have to deal with and, quite frankly, are very puzzled about.
There’s a flip side to all of this too, you know. I mean, is there anyone asking why White women are now turning to Black men as opposed to White men? Since some are, does that mean that there is something wrong with White men? Has anyone come to this conclusion? I haven’t heard that they have. So, is the problem (Black men with White women) really as prominent as we’re portraying it to be?
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While there is a shockingly high number of black women who are not married (something I am going to do a post on later this month), white women have little to do with it: for every black man with a white wife, 14 have black wives.
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it’s stereotypes like this is the reason why there’s so much issues going on in the black community. i mean yes there are some black women that do act ghetto, that do be loud and sleep with men but not all black women act like that but people choose not to believe that. i agree with toluv, why can’t black women get a break? why not talk about black women that do respect herself, has class and smart but we’re looked at as being a piece of meat and it’s not just in hip hop. and i think it’s a shame that most black men don’t defend us and we have been defending you all the time. there are good black women just as much as there are good black men. i love who i am and my culture but if we don’t learn to let go all this hatred we have against each other whatever it is, this sitution is gonna keep happening and it needs to stop and we should come together.
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I’m a middle aged black man, a systems engineer of 14 years. As recently as this morning I can vouch for the reality of the “Sapphire” stereotype. A newly acquire client and her employee pulled this routine on me today when it came time to pay the bill for services rendered. As I was attempting to calmly explain the technical terms of the service their eyes rolled in the back of their eye sockets, the hands (as in: talk to the hand) went up and their voices took the highest octave pitch that they could muster. At one point I found myself asking one of them why they were yelling at me. They were highly unprofessional, being business owners this totally threw me off guard. In the end I tore up the bill, told them politely that “this ones on me”, wished them a good day and left. The business owner, who’d hung up the phone on me earlier while I was explaining the technical details actually had the nerve to call me after I’d departed, her voice even louder than before offering to pay the bill and giving me her “reasons”. Needless to say I stopped her cold, reiterated that I’d waived the bill, released her business as a client, and that that was pretty much the end of it. These were black women; supposedly professional black women behaving rudely, ignorantly and totally unprofessionally. Yes, unfortunately for a lot of our sisters Sapphire is definitely alive and well. Sadly, there’s still some truth to this stereotype.
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in reply to another one, i ahve met several white saphirres, i live in england and because it is not a white female stereotype people just accept that their behaviour is rude and not a damning insight on “whats wrong with white womanhood”. when people meet a black woman who exhibits that behaviour, suddenly it’s all black women and we are all rude.
please try and be balanced, it’s a human behaviour.
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This is a controlversial issue it has a racial prejudice history in it, i am from africa, and have noticed that most african women do yell and abused thier spourse,while some do not,its individual. but my concern is that the sapphire stereotype image is conter-productive to our black women image all over the world. while other race see mostly nothing but satisfing thier sexual fantasy in black women most black men has taken up this attitude too. it wil be better if we black return back to responsibilites and protect the intrest and the image of our women the most preciouce gift God gave to us.
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I agree with lifeisannoying. Whatever the stereotype, there will always be people who will fill it, but that proves nothing. There are overbearing black women with loud mouths. It is a fact. But the thing is, the stereotype makes us think it is part of their nature as black women and not just part of the temperament of particular women. When white women act the same way, it is seen in a different light. That is racist. It comes from the white racism that informs American society.
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Although these negative stereotypes were originally established by WM, today, MOST BM are the ones who continue to perpetuate them.
The manner in which MOST BM HAVE LED THE BC AND THE WORLD TO TRASH THE HUMANITY, DIGNITY, AND FEMININITY OF BW DEMONSTRATES how DEMENTED, DBR, and WORTHLESS most BM are to BW. Although life for BW in America IS/HAS NOT BEEN FAIR, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS, there are WM/non-BM who DO APPRECIATE THE ACHIEVEMENTS, BEAUTY, AND UNIQUENESS OF BW. These WM/non-BM have learned to treat BW AS INDIVIDUALS INSTEAD OF RACIST STEREOTYPES.
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Thank you for writing this post Abagond. I think the saddest thing of all, is that we believe in these stereotypes. I am from the UK, and can see that we have often allowed these stereotypes to inform our OWN behaviour and expectations. Its so sad, and makes me VERY angry when I think about it (Am I allowed to be angry????lol).
Why shouldn’t I want and expect to be married (Jezebel?
Why shouldn’t I be able to fight my corner?
Why should any attempt a black woman makes to assert herself be viewed as aggressive(Sapphire)?
Why the Madonna/Whore complex (Mammy/Jezebel)?
Why do many men think its ok to create a family with a black woman, but not support her in living a balanced, sterotype-free existence?
Plus, as said here by another poster, it gives sista’s a double-bind: now a sista’s access to men from other cultures is impaired becuase people believe the stereotypes they hear, read and see.
…The humanity of the black woman has been sincerely damaged.
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Hi Abagond,
Thank you for publishing these definitions. I am currently writing my Masters in Social Work thesis on colorism and how it affects male sex workers in Thailand. Part of my concluding chapter is relating this to colorism faced in the U.S., particularly in the African American community. During my research, I came across the “Sapphire” term and I had no idea what it meant, until I found this blog entry.
It is sad how pervasive these stereotypes are in society, and how one can be labeled and typecast if one exhibits such qualities as the mammy, Sapphire, and Jezebel. I hope the U.S. media will show a larger range of what it means, looks to not only be African American, but as a person of color in general (the Latino as an undocumented person, the Asian female as a dragon lady, and Asian man as submissive computer geek or martial artist…).
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I have a post on colourism too:
https://abagond.wordpress.com/2008/08/23/colourism/
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“A clear example of this is when black men bring up the Sapphire stereotype as an excuse to date and marry white women.”
Why do they need an excuse. They can do What they want, with out having to explain to anyone their actions.
And also, almost everyone in todays society falls into the “jezebel” catagory(if that means having sex before marriage) black or white, almost nobody respects god’s law on this matter anymore, it’s sad.
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i hate the black women stereotypes. what really annoys me is that if a guy has poor taste in women, all the good women are punished for what the bad women did.
i mean men are always blaming women for getting with a dud. but why is men never get blamed when they go for the bad women?
and i also hate the angry woman stereotype because even when you have a legit reason to be upset you are going to be unfairly stereotyped. i mean a black woman has to be more careful about everything she does, cause she has more to lose than any other race.
when you are a black women, by default you are less likely to marry. its even worse when you like white guys and other races more than your own race, its even worse when you dont believe in premarital sex.
i sometimes wonder if men use the angry black woman stereotype as an excuse to avoid taking blame for the fact that they did something wrong, or they have poor taste and choice in the types of women they date.
i have seen some of the comments on your other posts. and i find it amazing a white dude paints all black women as ghetto and angry and gold digging because of the experiences he had with a few. and then proceeds to say it wasnt as bad when he was with white women who are like that and even makes it clear not all white women are the same. and its like wtf? are you that dense that its not the women that are the problem, its YOU?
i deplore rap (i like black music but i dont like rap or hip hop) and im sick and tired of black women being stereotyped for every little emotion she has.
i mean if you are an independent women, someone who doesnt need a man to make her happy (but isnt opposed to having one in her life), people come out with all sorts of stereotypes…
makes you wonder if its worth dating at all. it doesnt even feel like its worth all the trouble. people will see you how they want. there isnt anything we black women can do about it.
those worthy enough will get to know you. those ignorant enough wont bother and will believe what they want even if what they think they know to be right is actually wrong.
i just wish men would start accepting blame. if we women have to accept it as our fault for getting with a bad guy. why dont men? instead of always asking why you get a certain type of girl, ask yourself how you act around her, or what you are wanting from a girl that you arent getting the ones you want.
i mean if you find yourself continuously getting a certain type…then you cant just blame them, obviously you yourself have fault in this. chances are the guy has low standards.
this is the problem with interracial dating. rather than realize not all women of (insert race) are like the ones you dated, they assume they are because its better to blame someone else for your problems then it is to own up. and so the good ones are left punished…
honestly thats a recurring them in the black race itself. if one bad black does something wrong. all the good blacks get punished, no matter what good they have done against the one bad thing.
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I’m an average-looking white woman. I don’t know if my opinion or perspective would be welcome or useful here, but I’m going to venture it, anyway.
I don’t think people are any easier on white Sapphires or uppity white women. Look at the way Hillary Clinton and then Sarah Palin were slapped around by the media.
I also think that complaints by black men who prefer white women to black women are identical, chapter and verse, to white men who prefer asian women to white women. Code words being more traditional, more feminine, more approachable, etc. ad nauseum. They see women of the different race as more submissive and easier to control.
Last of all, like me, black women are victimized by the media. I’m an average looking middle-aged brunette and aside from the exotic oriental geisha girl stereotype, I get inundated with images of the blonde Barbie types on television and in print. These perpetually 20 something, tall, slender, leggy but impossibly bosomy blondes who are so sweet butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths, are virtuosos in the sack, “traditional, feminine, approachable” and not the least bit challenging or bitchy. Sound familiar?
The media has been the biggest problem for average women of virtually all races. If you go to European art sites before the invention of television and photography, you will see paintings of what real white women really look like and you will see women whose only real difference from black women are generic racial characteristics.
Real white women are not the airbrushed creatures with factory installed boobs and plastic surgery that you see all the time now on television and in the magazines.
Last, I think black women fall into the trap of playing into these stereotypes of themselves because they are useful to black men in some sense. It is easier to be an enabler in a codependent relationship than it is to face the possibility of being alone for long stretches of time. Thus, the Mammy and the Jezebel. This can result in frustration, thus the Sapphire.
In any case, I don’t have any easy solutions on this one. The media as it is is a powerful adversary to us average women. It promotes the average woman’s blonde goddess nemesis for all it’s worth and even worse now, for the average black woman, it is promoting black male/white female interracial couples for all they’re worth.
This strikes me as odd. The media worships the water Barak Obama walks on. Yet President Obama (the product of a white female, black male) made it a point to find the blackest, most African looking female he could find. One would think the media could look at his example and start offering up black women as black men’s consorts more.
All I can say to black women is that I hope you stop internalizing the discrimination against you and blaming yourselves for it, as women have a tendency to do. Once you stop allowing yourselves to be scapegoated in this way, you will stop playing into these stereotypes and just be the wonderful women you truly are.
Good luck and God bless you.
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Wow, Michelle!
I’m glad you decided to chime in. It’s nice to hear sisterhood among women of all races.
Black women in America experience pain from all sides. We’re used to other ethnicities of women ridiculing us … wondering what’s wrong with us, why can’t we get our acts together.It is particularly unusual to hear a White woman empathisize with us, but it’s refreshing.
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Michelle,
I think it’s great that you want to be supportive of BW. As more people reject ANTI-BW RACISM/HATE, BW will come to be viewed/treated in a more humane, dignified, and positive manner.
I just want to point out that BW are NOT to blame for the ANTI-BW RACISM that has historically been a part of American society and has greatly influenced the NEGATIVE ANTI-BW attitudes/actions displayed by MANY towards BW.
I/many BW have always had a POSITIVE view of ourselves but that hasn’t eliminated the LIES, MYTHS, and STEREOTYPES that are promoted by American society and the media who consistently SINGLES OUT BW to TRASH our HUMANITY, DIGNITY, and FEMININITY.
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@alwaysight101
You are 100 correct! I do feel like men use those angry, needy and bitter comments to aviod admitting being at fault for anything.
Men should look at themselves instead of doling blame out all the damn time.
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you forgot the “tragic mulatto”
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and are you sue that Oprah’s popularity among white women has nothing to do with the Mammy stereo-type?
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Oprah gives a good show, and that’s the reason white woman watch her! But, she is as racist as the next person. She built a school about 30 km from where I live in Johannesburg.
This school only allows black girls in it, white girls are not welcome because of the colour of their skin. I’m sure most of you will say “Only right” But how do you start a new democracy with that ideal?
When the shool was opened Oprah said “I don’t believe I have too appease the white comminity of this country” Never mind that they were born after apartheid, had nothing to do with it and were brought up in a community where white and black kids don’t see colour like their parents do.
Regardless of my comment, that’s the way this world is. We are each justified in our racism. All nations look abroad, can’t believe what they see and carry on with their own internal BS, because they THINK they are rightous!
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Thanks for your kind comments.
First of all, I wanted to add my congratulations on the Obama Victory and I’m talking about the First Lady, not the president.
I had a black coworker who was widowed at an early age who worked her fingers to the bone to give her son and daughter the best education imaginable and what was the pay off for all her efforts? Her son came home with a white wife and her daughter ended up being a single mother. She was a Christian woman who tried to be fair, but it was obvious she felt closer to her daughter’s child than her son’s.
The one thing that struck me is the thought that in another black family, the young man who would have been my co-worker’s son-in-law probably did what her son did. I had to admire her for her charity. I doubt if I could be so stoic about it, because I want to break something every time I see a white man with an asian girl.
Do men who go outside of their race for a bride have any idea how disrespectful that is to the women who raised them? Because it smacks of misogyny. Do they really believe they are going to get anything different other than skin-deep? Or do they have mommy issues? Maybe Barak Obama was drawn to black women because he wasn’t that enthralled with his white mother!
In any case, when I saw the Obamas dancing on television in their finery the night of the inauguration, I thought of my coworker and rejoiced for her. She was long overdue for some validation.
Slightly OT-I have been an Oprah Winfrey fan since I saw her come on stage in a ruined perm. Like me, she was battling the bulge. She just came off as a real person with everyday mishaps. A universal woman, if you will. I also liked that she always tried to find out information that would help people out there. She didn’t allow her show to turn into degradation schtick and sleaze. I would have loved to have a job working for her, so I could pick her brain.
I also liked her bachelor series (Men of Alaska, Blue Collar Men, etc.) before Stedman came along and ruined things, darn him. Oprah never felt like a Mammy-type to me. When I tuned into her show, I felt like I was visiting with my best girlfriend, she came off as so warm and genuine.
Oprah has a right to decide where she spends her money because she earned it — if that means an all-black school in South Africa, so be it. She does a lot of less widely published things for white people so I think making a fuss about this was unfair.
In any case, God bless you all.
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Do you have a blog? I would like to read it if you do.
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Michelle,
Great post. I also never saw Oprah as a “mammy” figure at all. I once had a debate about that with the famous author Donna Hill at a college forum.
I also look at black American males funny when I see them with a non-black woman (or even an unusually whiter-looking black-identified female) because of the whole maternal thing. Do you think your mother is ugly? Has the anti-black sentiment of the U.S. pushed you to think of your ethnicity as ugly? Something that needs to be corrected and diluted? Things we should ponder.
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Racial preferences in dating are not a bad thing per se but it’s disturbing when MOST BM use ANTI-BW HATE/RACISM as their justification for dating/marrying out.
PRO-BW BM should confront ANTI-BW BM and challenge their SICK mindset.
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More on the BM w/anti-BW bias is when a black women is with a non black man and the BM acts offended and/or disturbed (and I heard one incident when it was a BW with a man of E.Asian decent, the BM had the nerve to tell her he would rather see her with a white man…???). But the real kicker is the type that’s not even attracted to black women (light skinned or dark), they would never be with oBW but feel it’s wrong for BW to (like them) date/marry someone who isn’t black. And to the people with their “it’s true 50-60-80% of them act stereotypical” – um, their are almost 41 black people in the U.S., don’t know what percentage is female but to even say that 80% out of (just throwing out a number) 15 million is a generalization like no other. Excuse me but don’t be so ridiculous in your obviously unproven claim because you don’t know and have never known 15 million black women to come to that conclusion.
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Right: stereotypes are based more on a need to excuse one’s behaviour than on a search for the truth. White people came up with the stereotypes but black people use them on each other too.
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It’s so sad that television is a main reason, if not THE reason, why these stereotypes are still in our modern day (Reality Shows, Music Videos, etc.). Alot of people believe the hype, and alot of black girls today i think FEEL that they have to act like what they see, and they’re proud of doing it.
I’m 15 years old and everyday I always get criticized by someone at school because I’m black. When they get to know me they say that I’m an “oreo”. I don’t talk with the stereotypical slang people have associated with black women. I’m not loud, and I don’t talk to just black people. Alot of people have said that I’m “the smartest black girl” they’ve met. Why can’t I just be the smartest girl?
I’m NOT saying that I don’t want to be black, I love being a strong African-American girl. It’s just sad that I’ve noticed no other full black girl at my school doesn’t believe that they don’t have to be a Jezebel or a Sapphire. Boys at my school really don’t respect that, they just get with them and the next day they’re dating a latina. Thre’s only one black girl at my school who actually has a boyfriend, and he’s mexican. Just goes to show interracial relationships don’t always involve a black guy ; ) and that’s progress to me.
So, I understand why people have a concept of black girls being ghetto. Some of them try to live up to that, thinking it’s cool. But not ALL black women are like that, alot of us do have our own personalities; “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” IS the golden rule.
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abagond: if you haven’t already, you should read “Celia, A Slave?” It’s a true story about a black woman during slavery who went to trial for killing her master.
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Im Just sick and tired of (BLACK MEN )especially using these sterotypes as a cructh to why they wont date us to me it is a bunch of bulls**t! They are just weak and look for a way by any means to hate Black women and it is disgusting.. To all Black women who read this You are the most beautiful, charismatic, wonderful, god given gift to this planet and i myself just like you should NEVER i mean NEVER forget that.
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Michelle, very well said. I couldn’t have said it better. I think the reason why some people think that some black women fall into the category of “sapphire” is because black women are misunderstood. Alot of black women are single parents, full-time student and working a job, going through an abusive relationship, a divorce, anything. So women in general are more emotional, regardless of their race. Sometimes, we are quick to judge people, you never know what a person is going through inside of their heart. So, I say, just keep that in mind. Sometimes it is hard to hide your feelings, after all we are human even though the world tells us we are not. Yes, I am a black woman, no children, but I definitely can understand what it would be like to be a single parent. Peace
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First I must say, the comments once again force me to realize how messed up race relations are in the USA. I am a white male, 45, adopted into a black family in 1973. I also have Native sisters, aunts, cousins and nephews. I also have a Japanese uncle kickin’ around somewhere so believe me when I say “Man that is some depressin’ shit you speak of.”
Not the article itself mind you, but some of the responses make me realize that everyone has a long way to go before my family will be accepted by all people. White, black, red, yellow and whatever else there is.
I find it interesting when you mention things terms like “oreo” and discuss things like “black men who aren’t even attracted to BW” (side note – my sis has been called an “apple”, my brother has been dismissed because his skin is too light, etc…). It all tells me that even educated people have trouble with concepts of race down in the “mighty US of A”, regardless of their skin colour.
I have heard people often say they are only attracted to this or that colour of person. Trouble is, that statement does not hold up to Imperical testing. It would take an extremely hardcore white racist not to find the aforementioned Halle Berry attractive (none were found during the study) and studies have shown this. In the follow up experiment on women, even black women who claimed to not find white males attractive responded to pictures of Brad Pitt in sensory readings similar to what Asian women who claimed to dislike black men had to Wesley Snipes. I propose that is personal choice rather than any distinction of sexual longing.
I would like to think we can all love everyone but such thoughts are obviously juvenile in this discussion.
I will admit, I can have no real grounding for what yourself Abagond, or the others who responded to this article have experianced. There is no way for me to “feel” what it is like to be a woman or black but I do love my family. That said, no matter how they try and hide or conceal it, I do see the pain that sexism and racism cause those I love and that in itself is painful.
As you may have surmised, I must be from Canada and racism is here but so is anti-hate/racism legislation. One of the strange things to happen in Canada is the condemnation from leaders in the “black community” (I hate that term, it seperates us all, like “white community” which seems immeadiately repugnant) of Hip Hop and Gangsta culture, whose following is largely supported by non-blacks. The Native Canadian is the highest consumer up here of those wares.
Several years back I attended a Public Enemy concert in the north here. In front of the stage milled a bunch of gangsta wanna-bees, wearing expensive sneakers and FU-BU clothes. About a third were black, the rest were white and Indo-Asian. At one point, I believe it was Chuck D, stops and crys out “I would like to thank all the Niggazz for comin’ here to night!” and all the young pups up front start hollerin’ and flashin (what i assume are) imaginary gang signs. Even the white ones!?! Then he continued “Because we all know that the Niggazz in Can-A-Da have RED SKIN!”
Suddenly the balcony and upper levels erupted in screams and shouts as streetgangs, some of them with natinonal powerbases, like REDD ALERT, INDIAN POSSE and the ALBERTA WARRIORS, voiced their approval. Scared the Hell outta those kids up front I tell yah. But I digress.
I came accross your article looking for examples of the black female stereo-type that you either classified in one of your top 3 catagorys or simple remain unaware of. The young, poor, black girl. Wearing a “suger-sack” style dress, and either braids in her hair or kerchief on her head was shown to be totally devoted, sometimes almost sexually with the product her image endorsed. She sold Coca-Cola and other products aimed mostly at children.
I was hoping to find an example of “Pickle-Ninny”. A female black stereo-type that would stop whatever she was doing just to get a ( I hope I remember this right) a Klassen pickle in her mouth. The image of a young poor black woman obssesed with an obviously phalic food is perhaps one of the strangest(and disturbing) images I remember from my youth.
Anyway, sorry for taking up your time. Please keep writing. I plan to read more of your thoughts.
yours – Dave Dutton-Fraser
ps. Plug for my Pop. Pick up his book Running Uphill by Fil Fraser. A biography of Canadian Olympic Athelete Harry Jerome and his struggle with racism in both Canada and the USA.
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This is on point. Thank you.
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one thing that concerns me about stereotypes is when the people who are being stereotyped start to believe the lies themselves. I have observed over the past 20 years,since black women have started to be called bitches and hoes by rappers, that the behavior of some ( not all) black women have began to change. It’s almost as if they feel they have to be this way in order to be respected. If they aren’t stereotypical in how they act, they feel that they can’t trust other black women. I remember discussing interracial relationships with a friend of mine. I wondered why so many black men were leaving black women for white women or simply not marrying at all. Her answer was that she felt most black women were difficult to get along with. Bare in mind, she is a black woman. I can’t tell you how many times i have had this conversation with other black women who felt this way. I personally feel that the black women i have come in contact have very different personalities, some who are hard to get along, some who are very friendly, some who are very intelligent, some who are shy, some who standoffish, etc. It is very important that we as black people don’t believe the stereotypes that are out there concerning us and especially important that we don’t feel obligated to carry these stereotypes out in our every day lives. Before hip hop became mysogistic, these stereotypical behavior wasn’t as common and black people didn’t discuss it as much. But hip hop as well as reality tv, and some movies almost always portray black women in a negative manner( saphire, jezebel) Sometimes i think the black women who participate in these reality shows think that they have to put on show, often in a negative manner in order to be famous. It’s as if they would rather get negative attention then no attention at all. And when white women act disrespectfully or ignorant on tv, they don’t get the same kind of attention. People don’t say ” see that white woman is ignorant, that must mean all white women must all be ignorant.” People don’t see it that way. But when a black woman acts that way, people think ” see all black women are ghetto”. And then they seem to reward the Black women who do act “ghetto” on tv, such as New york from the Flavor of love show. Its as if they are saying to these women “keep up the good work” Another thing, just because a woman is strong doesn’t mean she is a “bitch”. Alot of black women are strong but they don’t act bitchy. It’s almost as if people are punishing black women for being strong. “Women aren’t supposed to act that way” That’s how alot of people think. A man can be strong but he is rewarded. But when a woman is strong she is punished. She is supposed to be more “feminine”. Okay, let’s get something straight, the black community for the most part rest on the back’s of black women. She has to be strong, not only for others such as her children or grandchildren, but for herself considering that since she was a child she has had to take on the burden of caring for family, younger brothers and sisters etc,.And she is still expected to do well in school, work a job, tend to others spiritually through the church,etc. If she wasn’t strong, she would collaspe literally. Not,to mention more than half of all black women do this without the benefit of a partner. If it obvious she is strong( not bitchy), people seem to want to attack her. It’s like blaming the victim. Bare in the mind she is the one who being called a bitch, skank, ho, hoodrat, who is called ugly, who is ignored, pre-judged, mistreated, often in rap songs, movies, on the internet, right to their faces, and in reality shows. Seriously, how often do black women write and sing songs dissing black men. It happens but not nearly as often. And when black women, justifiably, are angry, they say “see I told you” The thing that I am concerned about is how sisterhood in the black community is falling apart. Black women please treat each other with kindness. Nobody understands what we are going through better than us. Smile at other black women, not just men. Support each other. I mean how can we expect others to respect us if we abuse each other. And I don’t want black women to unite in the effort to attack black men, like the feminist movement often does, but to uplift each other and the entire black community. If some people still want to attack us, oh well, but at least we can depend on each other( other black women)
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I want to make another point. Finding a man has become increasingly difficult for black woman, especially the past 20 years. Sometimes i think the competition for men has caused us (black women) to act hostile towards one another due to jealousy, self-pity,etc. Also, the lack of good jobs has caused Black women to be highly competitive with each other over the few jobs that are available to us. Hopefully, these lack of resouces,( jobs, men) won’t breakdown sisterhood in the African American community. I don’t know all the answers but small acts of kindness can make a huge impact on the situation. Also, pray for one another. We need it.
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I want to make one final point, the most important way to overcome all the obstacles against us ( including stereotypes) is by us forgiving one another. Yes we all make mistakes. Black men these past 20 years have been attacking black women through the media and other ways but we black women must remember how we often attacked black men not through the songs as much but through the literature published thoughout the 60’s, 70’s, and 80′, such as the Color purple. Black men were often portrayed as rapist, child molestors, evil, etc. Black women aren’t as influenced by the feminist movement as much as back then. And since black men were insulted I suppose some black men felt that they wanted pay back. I must emphasize this, we as a people must learn to forgive one another and let the past go if we are to go forward. Forgiveness and talking to one another respectfully will go along way. Also we as Black people need to stop selling each other out by trying to be famous in the media and tv. Rappers, tv reality stars, film directors, singers it’s time to come correct. These people make a fortune by portraying black people in a negative manner. Stop betraying your people.
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It’s just the way of the aggressor to call for peace and forgiveness after things stop going their way, isn’t it. Black men aren’t kissing BW’s asses anymore and sistas are feeling that wind chill. After decades of “I don’t need no man,” “All men are dogs,” and “I can do bad by myself,” let’s be friends again. Although I will give jeri credit for acknowledging how black men have been attacked and belittled in the media all these years. A lot of brothamen have gotten the message. White women have gladly scooped up those “horrible” black guys that black women rejected. Even Asian women have got into the act. Like jobs going offshore, these black men aren’t coming back.
I also agree it’s time for media people and their rappin’, coonin’ enablers to wake up and stop portraying us black folks in a negative light. Unfortunately sistas are so starved to see themselves validated on screen that they will throw money at garbage like “Precious” or the cross-dressing mammy Tyler Perry’s movies all day long.
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not surpised, I understand that you are angry. Everybody gets angry. I get angry. But even though I admit Black men have been dogged at times, black men have been guilty of the same thing. The point I am making is that most of us are guilty to some extent rather we want to admit it or not. And despite the fact that I have been hurt, abused, and mistreated, often by black men, I don’t put down ALL black men. I have met some good ones, okay ones, and some bad ones. It’s based on the individual. Also, most black women I know are quite fair concerning black men. The main complaint they have against black men is that they have not always been fair to us in recent years, especially by saying that we are all evil, mean, hard to get along with, etc. Alot of black men seem to believe in stereotypes quite strongly without being objective. Just because one person has hurt you doesn’t mean all people are guilty. Not surprised, it sounds as if you are bitter. Did it ever occur to you that you could be a part of the problem as well. I repeat forgiveness is important. And I am not saying this because I have some desperate need to pacify black men but I don’t want to be a part of the problem. I have a husband and a good life. I simply want black people to be satisfied with their lives. Running to a white woman won’t make your life better if you are filled with bitterness and hatred. It will affect that relationship as well. Love a woman for who she is on the inside, not her skin color. I have been attracted to all kinds of men, black, white, asian etc. I have dated white men but I didn’t do it because I hated black men. I simpley liked who they were. I am currently married to a Black man. I once knew a black women who said that she wouldn’t date a black man because a black man doesn’t know how to treat a woman. I disagreed with her. She is now married to a white man. They have been together for 20 years. I hope she changed her attitude because she is now the mother of a young black boy(mixed). I wouldn’t want her to affected her son in a negative manner. If you were to have a daughter, she would still be black. How would she feel if she heard you say what you just said. Be a part of the solution brother, not the problem
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Interesting …….
I came across this site accidently. I am glad I did I am so tired of people sterotyping black people period, not to mention black women.
But my answer to this is who cares what white or any other color people say. If we are so bad as a race why are white women trying to be more and more like us and white men desiring us as black women? This is history white men wanting black women.
For my response concerning black women being single, I say it is ok everyone is not going to be. If you are not its ok if you are its ok as well. If you really would like to be seek God first and he will give you the desires of your heart. Put God first and keep him first
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Well,a lot of black women ARE fat,fugly, and b***hy,and in 2010,we handsome black lads don’t have to take their bull***t,so we date buxom blondes.(By the way,why should I even look at some broad who’s AT LEAST my size-I’m 5-9,214 lb.,and I’ve got 18″ biceps,compared to some porker who weighs that much and often 250-300 lb.,and has a 50″ Waist????)
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Validation????Where’s my validation as a life-size Brad doll(from 1970-
’72,Brad was Barbie’s boyfriend Ken’s handsome black buddy>)How many classically handsome black men are on TV or the movies?(And DON’T GET ME STARTED about “The Bachelor,”the most racist TV show since “Amos And Andy” went off TV syndication in 1966.)
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BlackCowboy
Well,a lot of black women ARE fat,fugly, and b***hy,and in 2010,we handsome black lads don’t have to take their bull***t,so we date buxom blondes.(By the way,why should I even look at some broad who’s AT LEAST my size-I’m 5-9,214 lb.,and I’ve got 18″ biceps,compared to some porker who weighs that much and often 250-300 lb.,and has a 50″ Waist????)
Do you think that about your mother as well?
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Well if even Abagond is guilty of thinking this, then maybe it just happens to be true. Obviously not all black women are sapphires, but a good amount of them are to some degree. I don’t berate them for it, it is what it is. Just as long as they know my bounds and don’t give me any attitude, I don’t care. I won’t tolerate anyone that talks to me with disrespect or condescension. That’s how you deal with sapphires in my opinion. Draw your line and stick to it.
Funny thing is that some feel American women in general are sapphires. White men that want to marry an Asian women or an E. European woman or a woman from some other traditional culture say similar things about white American women. It’s all a comparative thing I guess. Black women have the most sapphires, followed by white women, with Asian women having the least. I’m not sure where Latin women fall on the sapphire continuum.
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tulio says,
Well if even Abagond is guilty of thinking this, then maybe it just happens to be true. Obviously not all black women are sapphires, but a good amount of them are to some degree. I don’t berate them for it, it is what it is.
laromana says,
There are women of ALL RACES who fit the “sapphire” STEREOTYPE. Just because a RACIST ANTI-BW American society has HISTORICALLY chosen to STEREOTYPE ALL BW as “sapphires” doesn’t make this LIE/MYTH VALID.
I can’t wait until the day when BW are treated as INDIVUDUAL HUMAN WOMEN instead of CONSTANTLY having their HUMANITY, DIGNITY, and FEMININITY DEMEANED/DEGRADED/DISRESPECTED by ALMOST EVERYONE in American society/media/culture.
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“Guilty of it” does not mean the stereotype is true but quite the opposite. “Guilty” means I know it was wrong but found myself doing it anyway.
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tulio
White men that want to marry an Asian women or an E. European woman or a woman from some other traditional culture say similar things about white American women.
If they really think Eastern European women are submissive and traditional in a sense they’ll do whatever a man wants… Well, there’s a nasty surprise waiting for them!
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I think you have major prejudice about Russians. Of course you can do whatever you want, but challenging only stereotypes about your group isn’t the best thing.
“Drunk Russian” is a harmful stereotype, just like any other. There are even youtube videos of drunk Russians for people to laugh. Funny, I always thought western world see Russians mainly as evil communists, not drunks. I guess times have changed.
In any case, Russia isn’t the only Eastern European country, and, drunk or not, Eastern European women (especially young ones) are not submissive at all. Many fall within Sapphire stereotype and think “Sex and the City” is a great way of life and expressing your feminist views. Not all of them, of course. But I think Americans misinterpret word “traditional” here.
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How do you know it’s not a lie? It’s a stereotype, just like any other. Yes, there are Russians who act like that. There are many who don’t.
It all goes back to “single story”. It’s in person’s mind and heart to decide which image they want to believe.
Plus, there’s one more thing: in Eastern Europe, “poor” doesn’t equals “uneducated”. There are many, many educated poor people. And many rich uneducated ones. It’s just… A normal thing. It’s horrible, but that’s the way it is.
Just like there are poor but educated black people in America. There must be many, many more than poor educated white people. As far as I know, it’s more difficult to get a job in America if your skin colour isn’t white. But American propaganda just doesn’t want to admit it.
I think russian women are the golddiggers they like to marry rich white men and they do it all the time.
They are white. Marrying white men isn’t a surprising thing. And yes, there are many gold diggers. Though I am not quite sure they’re that crazy about marrying Americans; there are plenty rich Russian people they’re after.
However, it is true Russians tend to be pretty racist.
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i agree with all of these stereotypes about blk women,its all true.i dated a many races and by far blk women are the worst.they are loud,love to brag about how out spoking or independent they are(its common sense to be independent)they are fat or really skinny.from what i hear,no one wants to be around them.they get pregnant or just flat out lazy and want welfare to take care of them.and when they do have jobs,they are so rude and nasty,i make sure i go to stores where there are non-black females work(they are no too much better)to keep away from black womens annoying attitude.and its not lke any one makes this up,they even admit it and most of proud of it.so when you’ur dealing with ppl like this,its no use in arguing with them,they are just like retarded kids,just let em say what they want.
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Is that no_slappz writing again?
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@La Reyna:
I think it’s a no_slappz wannabe…just not as articulate and annoying. lol! 😉
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Arthur Lange, why thank you for such kind-hearted words. Out of the millions upon millions of bw, I’m sure you’ve met and dated every single one and you know exactly how all bw are. Thanks for your insight.
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@peanut:
Arthur must be a connoisseur of sorts regarding every BW he’s come in contact with. Impressive…NOT!
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Arthur Lange is NOT a sock puppet of No Slappz.
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i agree with all of these stereotypes about blk women,its all true.i dated a many races and by far blk women are the worst.they are loud,love to brag about how out spoking or independent they are(its common sense to be independent)they are fat or really skinny
In other words, they act just like American men – white or black….?
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I never believed in the Strong Black woman myth. First of all I think a person who is always aggressive is probably that way because they’re afraid of showing vulnerability. They fear getting hurt so they mostly bare their fangs to people rather than show their soft side. Can I blame them I’d be showing a mean face too if I believed it would make jackals back off!
Some people show aggression to keep themselves from being reduced to tears. The world we live in is very Cruel. I don’t the believe USA is the only cruel place I think the world in general is a cruel and dark place!
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Never noticed this post. Very interesting. These traits are also found in white women, but they are not stereotyped as such.
A couple of years ago, Nick at Night marathoned some older shows from the ’70’s and ’80’s. When I watched “The Facts of Life”, I noticed that Mrs. Garrett was a “mammy” of sorts.
The “Golden Girls”, one of the women (forgot the character) was a definate sapphire. There are a slew of other white characters who fit this stereotype.
And there are tons of jezabels.
It seems that since whites have more options and there is more of a variety in how they are portrayed, those stereotypes aren’t noticed.
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Is it me, or did Halle Berry come across this way in Bulworth too. I STILL like Hally Berry-she is beautiful and talented after all-so I am not trying to rag on her but I just wonder if I was the only person that noticed that?
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Odd. I always thought Sapphire was a gold digger not the “workhorse” as this author describes. Sheesh. I’M a workhorse.
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what confuses me about the saphire stereotype:
a) when a white or latino women is fiery and outspoken it is not viewed as negatively. They are instead seen as sassy, strong and progressive. sure they might be called a bitch if they are are bitchy but I don’t think they are vilified as much for their actions as much as a black woman is if she does so so much to even look at someone in the wrong way.
b) why is a confident assertive woman seen as a negative thing or a reason for black men to berate black women with a silly stereoptype? Whilst I can see how a woman who acts like Naomi Campbell would be a turn off to most men. why is a bland vanilla woman who says ‘yes sir’ attractive? hell if I was a man I would find that boring! Women like joan rivers, trina and giselle bundchen to name a few women of different colours are confident sassy women who are not afraid to speak their minds. why is that a bad thing? wouldn’t it be boring if all women were the same? whilst some men might be attracted to a quiet women obviously not all are. naomi campbell has never had a shortage of men even with her feisty attitude.
I actually wish I could be more sassy (in a good way) myself.
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abagond: you mention that these stereotypes can be believable to black men well some black women eat them up too, which is even more sad. I once knew a black girl who told me that she doesn’t like being around black girls because apparently they all have bad attitudes. funny that because i’ve met some normal nice black girls and bitchy white girls in my time. I thought to myself this girl is such an ‘uncle tom’/’conconut’, which I suppose are other stereotypes.
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What’s interesting is that every ethnicity of woman has her bitchy stereotype: For white women it’s the pampered princess, usually a teenager and the middle aged, menopausal battle-axe; for the latina’s it’s the hot blooded Rosie Perez type; for Asian girls it’s the cold and evil “dragon lady.” Unfortunately its’ the loud ghetto girl stereotype for black women that gets the most play and is taken to be a true representation of who we are.
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poetess says,
What’s interesting is that every ethnicity of woman has her bitchy stereotype: For white women it’s the pampered princess, usually a teenager and the middle aged, menopausal battle-axe; for the latina’s it’s the hot blooded Rosie Perez type; for Asian girls it’s the cold and evil “dragon lady.” Unfortunately its’ the loud ghetto girl stereotype for black women that gets the most play and is taken to be a true representation of who we are.
laromana says,
poetess, your observation that every ethnicity has certain stereotypes about their women is correct but what sets ANTI-BW stereotypes apart from the rest, is that the fact that they were INVENTED during the age of slavery to justify the sexual abuse of/violent crimes against BW.
ANTI-BW RACISM/HATE in American culture/media has/continues to reinforce ANTI-BW LIES, MYTHS, and STEREOTYPES to this day. BW/BW SUPPORTERS must ACTIVELY CONFRONT/CONDEMN/DESTROY ANTI-BW stereotypes that TRASH the HUMANITY/DIGNITY/FEMININITY of BW.
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So about the Super Bowl ad.
Someone needs to tell these guys that they can’t target historically disadvantaged groups. Maybe they think they are being colorblind by picking on black women. After all, it’s usually the white male that plays the fool in these ads. And since we are so “post racial” now, BW should be fair game as well. That’s what sucks about the fake colorblindness thing, It allows whites to believe everything is fair and equal. If everything is equal than what right do black women have to complain right?
Except of course, it’s not fair and equal, and these guys need to recognize that.
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@Jennifer
Yeah, I agree with you. I believe that many black women have been brainwashed as well concerning “the Angry Black woman” stereotype. I have tried time and time again to relate to some black women, but I often get the cold shoulder, while I have seen black women go out of their way to be friendly to white women. I don’t have a problem with being nice to other races. But to be overly suspicious of your own kind is weird. I mean, if you are a black woman and you believe that you are nice and intelligent, why would you believe that other black women are different from yourself? Gosh, I find that black men and women have really allowed themselves to be brainwashed in a horrible way. I would love to have more black female friends like myself.
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I have a hard time understanding how people can hate a group of people without knowing them. Can you really say that you have met every single black woman? You can’t make assumptions about black women without knowing them personally. But whatever. People will come up with any reason to hate.
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“I have tried time and time again to relate to some black women, but I often get the cold shoulder, while I have seen black women go out of their way to be friendly to white women. I don’t have a problem with being nice to other races. But to be overly suspicious of your own kind is weird. I mean, if you are a black woman and you believe that you are nice and intelligent, why would you believe that other black women are different from yourself? Gosh, I find that black men and women have really allowed themselves to be brainwashed in a horrible way. I would love to have more black female friends like myself.”
People are jerks. I would love to have more friends ike me period. Just try to find folks that connect with. A true friend is hard to come by. People can be a**holes towards others they feel different from. To me, there’s just as many black women I have nothing in common as white women. It’s a 50/50 chance when meeting anyone.
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Why are you just talking about black females all the time? That will seems a bit weird for most but not to me. I know why you do it even if you don’t. Your blogs are interesting to SOME extend but offensive when you really look at it. Most time you say compliments only to be pacifiers. BLACK men statically is doing real bad nowindays. They don’t want to get a job, take care of home, nor do they want to take care of their children. THAT MAKES FOR A GREAT TOPIC, to talk about along with your other opinions. What about the topic ” who takes care of who” meaning black men are willing to put their all into a relationship when dating someone from another race?!” WHY DO YOU JUST TALK ABOUT BLACK WOMEN AND HOW ARE THEY TREATED IN AMERICA?
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Your opinion is YOUR opinion, more or less, however you can’t bring facts to it. It’s just what you think. In my opinion, your blog is just a spark making the fire even bigger. Yes, you present some facts. But your delivery is just so wrong. And video vixens are hoes. Fame and fortune in exchange for dignity. They sleep around with who ever and what ever to make their paper. That why one can even retired at the age of 22 when honest people have to wait till 50 and even 60. Your daughter, if you have any, and there may be someone’s daughters reading your blog now. Your could aleast present the truth to obvious subjects such as video hoes. And your list of ten is really miss up. I am beyond curious to see what you wife looks like. I’m not putting you down bro. Takes some blows from a sista before the system. I’m movitatived by your blog and somewhat dissappointed by it. It’s like, ….
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Your becoming The foe your trying to make people, SOCIETY, aware of. Your making the arrow the target dude. You have strong words, but they are fragile. Appealing at first, but crumbles easily.
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You’ll find jezebels, sapphires, etc. in other races. I don’t know why that of should be an issue, with the stereotype abt black women only. This must have bn as a result of the way black women were sexually assaulted by their masters in the slave era, to the annoyance of their wives, who took out their anger on the abused black women, and they must’ve spread the story, & since then everyone have borne it in mind. It did take it long to take root, once it came out in the ’70s, since it is already in the subconscious.
I am not against a black man marrying a woman of another race, but, not 4 a stupid reason. For me i like women of strong character, not pliable women.
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It is incredibly difficult to break paradigms of this nature.
Speaking in behalf of the non-black males of the our society, the vast majority of men feel an inherent socio-economic and cultural detachment from black women due to the inequalities of our current social norms. This adds to the power of negative images, stereotypes, and preconceptions regarding black women.
A stereotype that was not mentioned in this article but is regularly discussed among non-blacks is the alleged “super woman” role of black women in the black community. Although strength, faith, sacrifice etc are fine character traits, it does perpetuate the idea that black women are fictitious entities rather than actual organic, sensual human females who need love and affection in their lives.
I view this new phenomenon: “Bitch is the new black” as incredibly dangerous for black women; it might not possess the older stigmas that black women faced in early America, but it still objectifies black women and creates unrealistic expectations and conceptual frameworks concerning what is a healthy relationship.
Not to mention, we (non-black males) know that black women are not super women… you might face unique problems and challenges, but every human must endure unpleasantness in life. This is something that is consistently overlooked by black women when they explore their relationships (or the lack of) with black males.
Black women too often refer to interracial relationships (e.g. black males with white females) as easy; meaning black men date outside of their race simply because non-black women will somehow tolerate substandard male behavior. Unfortunately, this does not reflect well on any element of the black community. Non-blacks know this is a form of fallacious reasoning. The same attraction that stimulates non-black females to black men flows through the hearts of non-black males toward black women.
To somehow suggest that the black community’s sexual identity and practices (in totality) revolve around some type of racial fetish or is an extension of a culture superiority/inferiority complex is completely irresponsible. Again, this objectifies black women and ignores their humanity.
Black women are beautiful… they are human… they struggle… they fail… they succeed… they need love and tenderness like all creatures.
The stereotypes that plague black women run deep on many cultural levels in America, but in order to fully appreciate the complexity of black women, we ought to start our inquiry with the assumption that they are complex… and worth exploring… in and of themselves…
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@Dennis P. Majer, Jr–
in order to fully appreciate the complexity of black women, we ought to start our inquiry with the assumption that they are complex… and worth exploring… in and of themselves…
Thank you, Dennis, for your recognition that black women want to be viewed as complex or multi-layered human beings who are worthy of exploring, and not just for our physical aspects–as is the focus of so many threads on the internet.
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We ARE now living in a generation where the fatherless kids have come home to roost. We ARE reaping the actions of our missing fathers. Rap music has glorified ghetto trash faithfully since about 1995. Because many black kids don’t have fathers to begin with they are highly influenced by rapper. In a poor broken home, watching rap culture in all its perceived psuedo success, rap is law. Life is now imitating art. There IS no solving black relations without rap reform.
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You know what, one thing that black women MUST understand is that stereotypes are created and perpetuated. To a large extent, a lot of black women have those traits and support the image, maybe without even knowing it. Just because some of us are made to be video hos, doesn’t mean all of us are or will be, nor will we be viewed that way, if we don’t allow it. I take full control and responsibility on how I am present myself and interact with others, which is why I can’t relate to any of these whines I see about society not making it easy for us. Well, if we want a change then we have to change it – plain and simple. We have to ask ourselves, how do we want to be viewed as a group of women, and put in the work to create that image…people make opinions based on what they see about you and what you demonstrate. Basically, you can change people’s opinion for the good or bad, if you so choose but it is done through action only and not complaining.
1) Start looking and acting gracefully and conservative. These keeps you dignified and it demands respect. It also shows wholesomeness which a lot of black women lack in their daily look.
2) Learn how to be classy. There are classes, youtube demonstrations, books, etc are the art of elegance. All men love elegant women, regardless of race.
3) Act like a respectable woman. If you want to run a man away, sleep with him soon. He has no reason to stay if you’ve given yourself so readily. There’s nothing intriguing him anymore.
4) Stop, stop, stop having children out of wedlock. Nothing screams trampy and low moraled more than this.
5) Date with marriage in mind. Don’t have men string you out for years and years without committing to you permanently. If they are unwilling to do this, cut your losses and move on but know the signs when you’re being used or just played with.
6) Learn how to communicate and how to be in a happy relationship with a man. Good relationship don’t have a lot of fighting. Think before you speak and be considerate to people’s feelings.
7) Learn how to cook well. This is valued as a feminine quality. A woman who enjoys cooking and CAN cook, is boosted to wife-potential super fast. Who wouldn’t want a woman who can keep you fed well?
8) Be feminine or learn how. Yes, this quality has been lost with black women over the years and I have wondered why they are sooooo off base in basic behavior from others. My reasoning is that, because when marriage for the majority of black women stopped occurring, they lost the socialization process to instill and reinforce feminine qualities for the girls. Girls need to see examples of good wives or wives and husbands period. They learn how to act in a way that attracts a man long-term. This needs to be restored in the girls and women. You can learn how to be a good wife and mother with reading about the it and studying people who are, then by putting your knowledge into practice.
Ignorance can either be temporary or permanent. It’s up to you as an individual to decide which one it will be.
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@Tina:
You nailed it! You should start your own blog with this premise alone.
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Hi, I’m doing my university dissertation on the stereotypes of black women in society and the impact it has on their lives and came across your article. I know this was wrote a while ago but I was wondering if you had the details of the 1993 study you refer to so I can look it up. Thanks for the help
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@ Laura
I completely forget. The Jim Crow Museum might have a reference to it. They are pretty good about citing sources:
http://www.ferris.edu/jimcrow/menu.htm
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@tina
Good job. I like and agree with what you had to say. This shows you have a head on your shoulders and you can observe and assess properly.
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Tina, are you black?
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@Nana
“Tina, are you black?”
It really shouldn’t matter. tina just has an opinion regardless of how misguided it is. Generalization is never a good thing and is more related to a lack of experience than anything else at times. This is my opinion.
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So, black women’s choices are to be a video ho or a Stepford wife? Hmmm. I’ll take “none of the above” for $1000, Alex. Our lives and experiences are so much richer, so much more complex than that, and frankly, I don’t know what’s worse. Black women putting ourselves in a box, or allowing other people to do so.
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thank you for this information its help me see why we are stereotyped this way.:)
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All black women do not act GHETO do not lump all black women in one basket that is not fair!!! I know some black women who are of integrity,classy,educated,active in the community, who keeps her house clean, who discipline her children, who respects herself and her husband, who minds her bussiness,who puts GOD first in her life, ,repects her parents,who dose not wear tatoo’s on her body and who respects herself! You see black is earned! everybody can’t be BLACK!!! If they are not that is describe in the sentence then they are but nothing but N______s!BLACK IS CLASS,the other is trash see the diference? O yeah they have babies when they are married!!!
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I guess there are still people who don’t know runs the media.
The media is run by the Jews( Ashkenazi Jews from Europe).
The media is a powerful too they used to get control of U.S.
The stereotypes is way to divide people and keep attention off themselves.
Thanks to the Internet people are slowly waking up to their lies,agenda and propaganda.
So when you say media just know who controlled it.
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Wayne
There happens to be a few things that I respect about racists. Doesn’t really matter what color/nationality they are. They keep it real. If they don’t like/love you then they just don’t. Racists have the right. There’s nothing phony about them. Supporting their own is top priority (with exceptions) before anyy other person/race. You called Oprah a racist. Really? Just b/c she had the money to have a spectacular school built for black girls. Don’t know if you know it or not but years before she held her first microphone, Oprah was a little/young black girl. Now she’s a grown black woman who built a school for young black girls. Oprah has that right and she doesn’t have to explain herself. What she did for those girls wasn’t against the law. It’s no different than whites building a school in their neighborhood for white kids. Also, I believe if Oprah was a racist, she wouldn’t have friends suc as John Travolta, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, and other notable white ppl. She has transformed the lives of many ppl:black, white, Asian, etc. And she did it just by being Oprah.
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One day soon, like today, I wish ppl would understand that there’s a difference between black women and ghetto females. The female whom Arthur Lange described is the ignorant ghetto female. It’s obvious to me that Arthur’s doesn’t socialize w/ mature black women. It’s wrong to say that we are all the same. There are a lot of things ghetto females do/say that black women wouldn’t dare b/c then she’d disrespect herself. Black woman have whats called dignity, among other characteristics, that she values. Her life isn’t filled with drama and stress like ghetto females. They create drama b/c they live for it. Arthur’s description of them was so accurate, it almost felt that I was in a store with one of them. Ghetto females are the worst in public b/c they crave attention and the spotlight. ALL EYES ON ME is their motto. Black women won’t appear senseless and ignorant for attention. It’s not her nature.
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I concur with greenapples the media is what puts out the negative images of black women. The media is what perpetrates all the negative stereotypes of black people period.
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I agree w/ Chris Rock: You can’t blame the media. Images that are shown really don’t depict every woman. If white women are modeling clothes, shoes, whatever then other women shouldn’t assume that they should look like that. When movies such as Color Purple and What’s Love Got…. are televised showing troubled relationships/marriages doesn’t mean that every AA couple goes thru the exact situation. If black actresses audition for a commercial or movie and it portrays her in a negative light then we can’t blame the media or movie execs. Black actresses get paid for these roles.
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I wanna tell y’all about an elderly black female who, to a degree, fits the description, of all three stereotypes: Back in the 60’s, she became a live-in maid for a white family. Husband, wife, and three kids. Within two weeks of working for them, the husband was making passes at her, feeling and grabbing her, etc. By the third week, they were sleeping together. She said that she would’ve held out a little longer, but he made her feel like Cinderella. At this point, I noticed that her eyes took on a faraway look. She tells me how giddy she felt knowing that he was going to leave his bed and sneak into her room further down the hall. “My pu**y would get wet thinkin’ ’bout having sex with him,” her exact words. She said that along w/ her pay for cleaning and sometimes cooking meals, the husband would give her a lot of extra money. That also turned her on. Wasn’t long afterwards that she began having thoughts of him divorcing his wife. Not to marry her, but for them to be a couple and live together. She thought he’d eventually marry her. “‘Cause everybody back then that white men loved them some black wome,” she said.
Well, she ended up getting pregnaant by him. Also keep in mind that his family treated her like family, especially hi wife. She could use their car and go anywhere she wanted to go. Parties, visiting folks, etc. The husband was promising her the moon. Leaving/Divorcing his wife, they were going to move in together, and he was gonna treat her like a queen. “I just knew I was gonna be livin’ high on the hog,” she told me.
When she was almost 9 months pregnant, thats when s**t hit the fan. The wife let both of them know that she knew of their affair. She had contacted a divorce attorney behind her hubby’s back, removed his name from her bank accounts, and told him it was over. He actually plopped down on his knees and begged his wife to forgive him. She said that she couldn’t believe it b/c all that time he said that he was
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gonna put her in a new home, and they were gonna be a family. She starts cussin’ him out, putting her hands on hips, rolling her neck, the whole bit. She also discovered that his wife had more than him. It was the wife’s money he was spending. She said that he told her it would be best for everyone involved if she just pack up and leave. When she looked at the wife, there was a smirk on her face. The last thing he said to her was, “Don’t ever tell your baby about me or us.” And she never has.
Her daughter is 50-years old and she confides in me that when she asks her mom who’s her dad she says that its not important. “No need opening another can of worms,” she tells her all the time.
This elderly female is 70-years old and she will say things like, “White men are better than black me” or “White men treat you more like a lady”
I just can’t wrap my brain around her way of thinking. The whole time she was telling me I thought, “This heffa is loony.” No way did he treat her like a lady. HE USED HER BIGTIME!!
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Sorry, I couldn’t finish my last point b/c the storm knocked out the power. Anyway for her to say that it wasn’t important for her daughter to know the identity of her biological father made me realize that scores of black females feel the same way.
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Power went out again. So as I was saying. Claims were made that during slavery, the slave owners hid our past/history from slaves. Isn’t what these females are doing by not revealing the identities of biological fathers to their children?
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Haven’t been here in awhile!
But, this topic has been brewing in my mind for quite sometime (at least 2 months now) and I feel really isolated in my views *lol*,in particular about the Ghetto Black girl trope vs. the Quirky/Eccentric Black girl.
I accept Black women for who they are. There are no ifs, and, nor buts about it.I do not think Ghetto Black girls are any less or more than others. However, what I have noticed on social media, and I’m not on those sites much if at all, is that when a Ghetto Black chick dyes her hair in Emo or pastel Goth, adopts facial piercings and tattoos–she is considered Quirky all of a sudden. No, she isn’t anymore Quirky than the Black ladies i will link below are Ghetto. This isn’t to say that I prefer Black women to stay in a box, but I am not one for making others into what they truly are not. Having body modifications and colored hair is not an indicator of a Black woman being Eccentric/Quirky–those are merely fashion expressions that anyone can want to emulate/create at any given time.
A Black woman’s lifestyle choices, values and beliefs are a clearer indicator of her “scene.” It is possible, but I wouldn’t wager any money that Ghetto Black women attend psychic and metaphysical conventions on the weekends regularly nor are they usually interested in interracial dating or wine meetups. On the flip side, I don’t think you will find Quirky/Eccentric Black women at locally ran Black bars (Black versions of Hooters), or shopping at urban (hip-hop) wear stores. There are no absolutes in this life, but in general, these two kinds of Black women simply aren’t comparable.
Here are clear examples of Quirky chicks:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uN1MGEdJMVw)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_h03ppVLV6o)
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@Michelle, it is now 2018 and you wrote this in 2009: Last, I think black women fall into the trap of playing into these stereotypes of themselves because they are useful to black men in some sense. It is easier to be an enabler in a codependent relationship than it is to face the possibility of being alone for long stretches of time. Thus, the Mammy and the Jezebel. This can result in frustration, thus the Sapphire.
….Thank you, for this most profound and astute statement. It is more than spot on and unfortunately rings true today. It is a vicious cycle of playing the mammy, jezebel and sapphire all for one fundamental and human need, we want to be loved and appreciated. However, these roles are doing us all an injustice. I also appreciate your insights into what it is like to be a middle age white woman in the media world of thin, young, white barbies. It is all unfair and leads to both men and women of all races not being their true selves. It fosters manipulation, dominance, and game playing to the nth degree. Women, have to do a hard “reset” on society by going their own way, doing their own thing and making themselves happy especially when it doesn’t fit into society’s agenda. Most of all, I believe in a loving creator and a magnificent universe that will see to it that my life is blessed with love from all sources when I first love myself and become an authentic human being.
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White women know the truth blk women are not Jezebel’s are welfare queens I find white women to be so insecure to where they believe this.i have seen teenage white girls sleep around get their knees dirty and get no flack but a blk woman gets low balled for it the biggest hoes in the universe.get more welfare than a little bit but statistics say blk women right statistics is what people who think they know other people make up white women your white men have paid people to place u on a pedestal how does it feel to know your pedestal’s is nothing but a lie.
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