For our slower students who did not get that last posting:
My wife is away. I thought I would get a lot of work done. I did last time. When she is away my mind is undivided and I can pour my whole heart into something. I work for hours on end with no one to stop me.
This time it is different: all I think of is sex. Well, half the time.
I count the days.
We could have done it the morning she left, but I got up a half hour late and barely made the bus. Boy, what a mistake that was. If I had gone in late it would have saved me so much time later on!
If I do not do it for a while, sex begins to cloud my mind. Sex and women take up more and more of my thoughts. Someone is talking to me and what is going through my head? I am trying to think through something difficult and I have to start all over again – several times. Because what keeps pushing its way into my thoughts?
On the A train on the way home I look at the women. Last night I saw one with beautiful dark eyes. Our eyes met. In the state I was in, it took everything I had to keep from looking at her. Even as I write this a day later her face is burned into my brain. She was about 30 with a good smile and looked like Eleanor Roosevelt’s half-black love child.
But I know that after a point these thoughts will disappear altogether, at least for a while. It is like going without food or sleep. You get a second wind, but it does not last for ever.
I once compared it in this blog to turning 14 all over again. That is what it feels like. When I wrote that, I thought I was entering a new stage in my life, just as I did when I was 14. But now I see it was much simpler than that: I felt that way because I had gone too long without sex: at the time I was fighting with my wife. And so certain thoughts and desires began to take over.
I can go six months without sex, but it requires prayer and fasting. Fasting and sex seem to be opposites almost, at least for me.
My wife would be surprised to read all this and would believe none of it. She says I have almost no sex drive. What she refuses to believe is that it is her mouth that gets in the way of her own love life (and mine). I walk home wanting it so bad, but when I get home she starts a fight – because she wants it but is not getting it! This is how she seduces men?
I look out the window. God willing, Rebecca will return.
See also:
LOL.U r unbeliveable,its good u have a pen name then.U make me wanna get a blog.
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LOL.U r unbeliveable,its good u have a pen name then.U make me wanna blog.
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You should blog!! Or at least give it a try. If you do, send me the link!
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my blog title – random thoughts of the girl next door
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Wow, thanks! What is the URL? I Googled it and did not see it.
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oh no – I didnt mean I have one – sorry – again I shoot off thoughts with out clearly defining what I mean. I was responding to KDs comment above about you inspiring KD (and me) to have a blog and if I had one I would call it “Random Thoughts of the Girl Next Door.”
I am actually trying to write a book – published in 2025 probably. I may use my myspace blog to start pulling scenarios and scenes together for that…Right now its mostly stories about motherhood and how I look at life. Nothing so clearly researched as your blog. But with 5 kids (two my sisters) in my house all the time – who has time for research
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I am gonna do that blog I think…soon…how do you suggest I get started…how do I do something like that.
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Do it! Go to blogger.com to get started. They make it easy. Also make writing a part of your daily routine. Write what you want to write, do not worry if other people are interested. If you write the truth and what is in your heart, then people will be interested.
More advice here:
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This is a beautiful entry. You truly have a gift for words.
I hope everything gets better for you.
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Thank you.
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things must be going well for you abagond, you haven’t done a post like this in a long time…
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Sex always clouds my mind! Especially when I’m not getting any. 😦
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God, good post. I know exactly what you mean about the ‘seduction.’ My long-term girlfriend is always saying how she doesn’t get enough sex out of me…yeah, you constantly bringing that up is really helping you get laid. Little does she know how friendly the Internet and I are while she’s away…
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Wow…losers…
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Dare I ask, have you managed to ‘relieve’ your tensions now?
Also, to all the ladies – do you find you spend time pre-occupied with thoughts of sex too?
I am also intrigued about Eleanor Roosevelts love child – I have looked briefly on the web but cant seem to find anything…
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@Demerera
I think what abagond meant was that the woman on the train bears a resemblance to the late Eleanor Roosevelt — who seemed to have been a thoughtful person, but was not one who was known for her looks…ahem.
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