How to become a white racist, at least in America:
The main things to know:
- White is right! If most white people believe or say or do something, then it must be right!
- Different is bad.Whites are the best people in the world. Everyone knows it and everyone wants to be like them! Therefore those who fall short must have something wrong with them. Especially if it is in how their face looks. For example:
- Blacks: Just look at them! No matter what they do, they will always be screwed up. Somehow. You can just tell.
- East Asians: There is something not quite right about them either. You can never tell what they are thinking. They seem kind of narrow or something.
- America is good and just. The police uphold law and order and protect all citizens equally regardless of race. White employers consider education and experience, not race. White teachers, doctors, judges, real estate agents, bank loan officers, newspaper editors, Hollywood producers, landlords and white people in general never let race affect their judgement or their point of view. Racism is dead! Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks killed it. The election of Obama by white people proves it! Therefore:
- Blacks and Latinos have only themselves to blame. It has nothing to do with white people (see above).
- Stereotypes have some truth to them. That is why people believe them.
- Television is a mirror of reality. Especially the news. And black comedians.
Things to do:
- Never be the only white person. Only go where most people are white – or at least where there are enough white people To Keep You Safe.
- Live in white suburbia. The more sheltered and white your life, the better! If your neighbourhood becomes more than 10% black, move. For your own safety!
- Only read books by white people. Or better yet, do not read anything at all beyond the Approved Reading List: newspapers, magazines, best-sellers, love stories, war histories, anything for work or school, etc. If someone screws up their face and says, “Why are you reading that!!?“, it was not on the Approved List. Stop reading it immediately. You have been warned.
- Watch plenty of American television. The more the better! Just lay back and feel the racism! Mmmm!
- Do not question anything that most white people believe. They must be right! So there is no need to look into things for yourself and come to your own conclusions. Why waste your time? If someone questions what you believe, just say, “Google it!”
- Learn as little black, Asian, Latin American and African history as possible. Just whatever they force you to learn in high school. I mean, why should anyone care about that stuff? It is not like it is important or something.
- Never try to see anything from a black person’s point of view. What do they know?
- If someone says you are racist, get angry! Defend yourself! How can you be racist? You do not hate black people!