Warning: As in all things Roissy, this is not a gentle, PG-13 sort of post:
Roissy in DC, a white man, told us in “Interracial Loving” about his first time with a black woman. It was like watching a train wreck.
One commenter, Haroldmaude, a black woman, comments in part:
Wow. I thought my humorous racial comments and viewpoints were always in danger of being misconstrued. And I really want to believe you’re being a bit light-hearted with this nostalgic post, but you’re not, are you? As a black woman, thanks for fulfilling the stereotypes about how/why white men date black women: it’s exotic; she’s probably used to really big black penises; a lot of other black women will find me attractive; and though the black men hate me for taking ‘one of their own’, they RESPECT me for pulling it off (???). Wow. Wow. Wow. Actually, those looks from the black men were probably more about, “There’s only one reason why he’s with her.”
This went right over Roissy’s head. He either did not understand it or chose not to. Even after she pointed out how he was stereotyping blacks he went right on doing it – while saying he was not!
For example, about stereotyping black women as exotic he says:
you’re barking up the wrong tree if you think you can guilt me into some contrite backpedaling. homey don’t play that. of course she was exotic at the time. she was my first. the first asian i had was also exotic. hell, the first time i kissed a girl was exotic. if it’s the word that ties your panties in a knot, try substituting “novel”.
Not getting it. It is like watching a troll in control of his own blog.
But it gets worse. Here is what he has to say about his stereotyping black women as being used to really big black penises:
a fair assumption on my part as most people date within their race for the majority of their dating lives. luckily for me, i’m no slouch in the big penis department.
Still not getting it.
I later commented:
Roissy: A very interesting yet sickening account. You need to reread haroldmaude’s comments with care.
That was putting it nicely.
Government figures show that white Americans have higher reading scores than blacks. But then why is it that blacks easily understand my posts while some whites have such a hard time?
Round about comment #15 some white person will do just what Roissy did: state that I am wrong while proving I am right by his very comment.
I used to think I was not being clear enough, that if I used just the right words then scales would drop from the eyes of white people. But that assumes that racism is just a simple misunderstanding, a set of bad ideas, like stereotypes, that can be replaced with better ones. Sadly, it is not that simple.
See also:
I let out an audible sigh reading that post. It’s what I fear every guy is thinking as they pass by. That is, if they notice my existence at all.
It’s a good argument for only dealing with SMART white men.
Some are smart, a few can figure it out. It’s worth it to take the time to figure out which ones have sense and which ones don’t.
I got no space in my life for dummies who are too dimwitted to see who I am and persist in defining me mainly by race.
I stumbled onto your blog today, liked what I saw, added you to my blog roll.
http://www.blackperspective.net
Peace.
Wildflower,
I completely agree with your sentiments about REJECTING STUPID WM like this Roissy character.
BW DESERVE to have their HUMANITY, DIGNITY, and FEMININITY RESPECTED by ANY man of ANY race who CLAIMS to be attracted to them and wants to have a SERIOUS DATING and/or MARRIAGE relationship w/BW.
I’m DISGUSTED by the ANTI-BW PERVERTS like this Roissy character who think that BW should be impressed by their DISRESPECTFUL, DEMEANING, DEGRADING RACIST/ANTI-BW attitudes/actions.
BW should STRONGLY REJECT these ANTI-BW DEVIANTS and show them, in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, that we will NOT TOLERATE this GARBAGE from ANY man.
Aba,
I hope one day you will post something positive about Black Women in IR.
No offence,
but everytime I read some of the comments and some of your posts.
I am always thinking, What the hell they are talking about?
it s like I have been living in the 4 dimension all my life.
I don’t know why some are intrigued (or try to explain or understand) when a BW are in IR specially with a white man.
like it was something special and strange for a black woman to attract other “men” than Black men.
I want to remind any men of any race always think crazy stuff about women in general.
Why when it comes to BW, some take this out of proportion.
Even I never date a white dude, I know plenty BW in IR and I never heard such of thing from their men.lol!
Where I grew up , Black Women were seen as A WOMAN first, sensual, family oriented and GORGEOUS!!! by people of any race.
Also I am not Black American(that might alter my perception of things), I know it isn’t perfect, we still have to fight.
sometimes that’s nothing to do with the color of the women.
Since I am in US ( over a month) I have seen plenty plenty black women(all shape and skin tone) dating, marrying etc…(Gorgeous) Men of any race.
nubiahbella says,
Where I grew up , Black Women were seen as A WOMAN first, sensual, family oriented and GORGEOUS!!! by people of any race.
laromana says,
nubiahbella,
I’m glad that you grew up in a country where BW were viewed PROPERLY (as you’ve noted in your comments above).
The reason why BW in America are FORCED to CONSTANTLY DEFEND our HUMANITY, DIGNITY, and FEMININITY is because MOST American WM/NON-BM DON’T view BW as WOMAN 1st who are DESIRABLE, FAMILY ORIENTED, and GORGEOUS but as NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES.
Hello to all. I am new to this site but I just wanted to say this article was nice and I can agree with some of the statements about stereotyping of Black women by some White men who have been or are currently in IR’s. I have dated only Black and White men from the U.S. and one man from Honduras, so I can only speak about my experiences. But has anyone ever noticed that if a very attractive White man dates predominately Black women, many White people see him as having some sort of sexual fetish? Very similar to White men who only go after Asian women. I have had White guys(friends and acquaintances of my boyfriends) say to my face things like “Scott was always into exotic women and you are so pretty so I can see why he is dating you.” or “I bet you and James have a great sex life!” Why can’t people realize that many people in IR of all types are usually in them because of the person, not the color. I think it is equally rude when people make comments about White females in IR’s as well.
Nubiah Bella:
This post backfired. If you reread it you will find that it was not about interracial relationships at all. But it has turned into that in the comments because it is more of a hot button issue than what the post was about.
I should have picked a more boring example of what I meant – but Roissy was hard to pass up.
I’m assuming the purpose of this post is to show how white readers read what they want to read and don’t read what they don’t want to read. Correct?
Correct.
The dude completly missed the point and obviously did not read the comments
I read that post and I want my three minutes back. What a waste of time. However, I did draw one conclusion. I do not believe the described event happened at all as it reads like some type of masturbatory fantasy.
It does.
abagond,
Thanks for posting this topic as a reminder of how some whites go out of their to deny BLATANT RACISM. A Roissy poster went so far as to use the N word in response to the LEGITIMATE criticisms leveled at Roissy for his DISGUSTING, RACIST, ANTI-BW post.
I’m especially FED UP with the type of WM who want to PRETEND there’s “NOTHING WRONG” with treating BW like STEREOTYPES instead of INDIVIDUAL HUMAN BEINGS/REAL WOMEN who DESERVE to have their HUMANITY, DIGNITY, and FEMININITY RESPECTED.
I do not believe the described event happened at all as it reads like some type of masturbatory fantasy
Ditto!.
Round about comment #15 some white person will do just what Roissy did: state that I am wrong while proving I am right by his very comment.
I understand your point, Abagond. And it’s true. One thing I found hilarious is after the Arab-trader post I read 3 posts at other unrelated blogs mentioning the Arab-trader argument. *dizzy*
“but Roissy was hard to pass up.”
He’s tempting isn’t he? And absolutely vile. That entry was a case in point. His blog is like a car accident; I can’t help reading it occasionally, even though he disgusts me.
He’s fascinating because he’s articulate and often he’s right. But it’s hard to acknowledge when he’s right because he’s such a complete scuzz-ball. Sometimes he’ll write a truism and then follow it up with misogynistic garbage. Rather than give him credit I want to throw pies at him. Or rocks. Or really big stones. Or boulders.
That post… *shudder* The “big penis” comment really takes the cake. I was tempted to comment the first time I read it but then I figured, why bother? Besides, I saw you posted and I figured you can represent.
I think the episode is real; it isn’t that hard to get laid anymore. Really, it’s not. A half-way decent looking guy with adequate game can go to a club, pick someone good-looking up, and take her home. I used to watch it happen so I know it’s real. The question is: Why would you want to? Don’t you have a life? Does Roissy really waste so much of his time picking up and pursuing cheap sex? That’s sad.
dont we all “read what we want to read”?? the guy probably needs to reword his article but i dont see the ANTI-BW in it….?
Come on people, the more I read Roissy’s posts on Blacks and women, the more I get disgusted. He makes comments about Black women being unattractive and manlike. At best, exotic, which is not flattering at all. Then one has to count all the posts his followers make agreeing in one degree or another, Roissy’s views on Blacks, women, and less than beautiful people of all races.
The problem with him and his white/nonblack followers is that they set themselves as arbiters of who’s beautiful or not, who’s bangable or not, who’s worthy of dating/marrying or not. Which is why Obsidian left the website in disgust to start his very own blog called The Obsidian Files. Here’s his new blog URL:
http://theobsidianfiles.wordpress.com/
There, he confronts the HBDers such as Roissy and One STDV.
My mom had surgery Wednesday, so I didn’t blog in the past three days. But that Roissy guy gets under my skin though.
La Reyna
A Roissy poster went so far as to use the N word in response to the LEGITIMATE criticisms leveled at Roissy for his DISGUSTING, RACIST, ANTI-BW post.
that commenter,dana, is a troll for r’s blog. She trolls for two of the regular blk commenters there. She posted that she’s been a troll for ten years so that should tell you something about her.
Does anyone know if Roissy censors or moderates his comments? I am a bit surprised he let that troll comment stand.
La Reyna:
Thanks for the link to Obsidian’s blog. And hope you mother gets well.
therighttoparty Says:
dont we all “read what we want to read”?? the guy probably needs to reword his article but i dont see the ANTI-BW in it….?
It goes way beyond rewording. Why write such a post in the first place unless you assumed that black women are somehow different and exotic, as if they were not quite human? And why write such a post unless you assumed that black women are all the same and do not have all the individual differences you see among women everywhere?
It would be like if I wrote a post called, “The first time I talked to an Asian man”. What would that say about what I think about Asian men?
Hope your mom gets well soon La Reyna.
I got no space in my life for dummies who are too dimwitted to see who I am and persist in defining me mainly by race.
I don’t think the problem is a low IQ. I think he has a perfectly average brain.
I think the problem is that he doesn’t want to think because it would inconvenience him if he started having to treat black women as human beings.
Which is why Obsidian left the website in disgust to start his very own blog called The Obsidian Files.
Obsidian was too normal for Roissy’s. I read his blog sometimes and have had some discussions with him elsewhere.
Does anyone know if Roissy censors or moderates his comments? I am a bit surprised he let that troll comment stand.
He doesn’t censor unless someone posts something over and over. Then he usually lets a few posts stand and deletes the others. I think he gets a kick out of trolls, actually.
I think the problem is that he doesn’t want to think because it would inconvenience him if he started having to treat black women as human beings.
This.
Rather than give him credit I want to throw pies at him. Or rocks. Or really big stones. Or boulders.
i’ll take your sweet, sweet love instead.
(retracted if you are a man or an ugly woman.)
Ugh, Roissy.
If I’d have known you were going to read that I wouldn’t have complimented you, even backhandedly. And what are you doing at Abagond’s, anyway? It’s hardly your usual crowd, is it? Do all the black people make you nervous?
Although, I have to laugh that you are so terribly predictable and consistent. If you ever made a post that didn’t treat women like a piece of dung we’d all fall over in shock.
Now you go back to your whoring and I’ll go back to my husband and all will be well.
Does anyone know if Roissy censors or moderates his comments? I am a bit surprised he let that troll comment stand.
Sometimes but it’s never against the racist trolls. I’m put on moderation quite often in those parts.
abagond,
The one good thing about the Roissy post is that it offers a useful example of the type of DISGUSTING, PERVERTED, PIG ALL BW should avoid.
He moderates but he doesn’t censor, as far as I know. Strange that he moderates Chic Noir because her comments are usually incredibly mild.
Agreed, Laromana.
So true, Laromana.
To posters,
Thank you for keeping my mother in your thoughts.
And as for that Roissy character, not only he stereotypes Black women, he stereotypes Black men as well. His comment about Black men says more about his racial insecurity and paranoia than anything else with the exception of Black women stereotypes. His minions such as Willard Libby, Bob, GNP,etc., not only stereotype us, but constantly put us down and use racist/sexist slurs worthy of Don Imus.
La Reyna
More stupid-@## commentary from Roissy at Black Men, White Women:
“Here are my thoughts on interracial dating. Despite all the sound and fury, I don’t see too much of it. Most people date *long term* within their race. There are likely evolutionarily mediated reasons for this. Women are more racist than men in the realm of dating. They are less open to having relationships with men of different races, while men are bigger whores who will happily fuck a cute chick from any race. (Commitment is another matter.)
So in the bigger picture, I don’t see many white woman-black man couples strolling around the city holding hands. In comparison, I see about three times as many white man-asian woman couples. These are my observations in DC and in major cities on the East coast; the numbers on the ground might be different in other parts of the country. Of the BM-WF couples I do see, I notice two different types: The Maury Povich who’s-the-daddy fat white trash girl with the thug, and the hot blonde, usually European girl with the handsome, well-dressed, and educated-looking yuppie black man. There doesn’t seem to be much middle ground between those two types.
From casual conversation, my white guy friends don’t find the general population of black girls attractive. Their preferences are decidedly skewed toward white chicks. I only know one white guy who has yellow fever. He proudly proclaims it, too. From my conversations with black women, they are even more racially provincial. I get the impression that black women don’t find men outside their race at all physically attractive. I’m an outlier, in that I’m the recipient of a lot of flirty attention from black women. I think if I were an even blacker dude than I already am, I would clean up with black women. King Kong ain’t got nothing on me.
So this is why black women are screwed, it would seem. Available black guys are hooking up with women of all races, white and Asian guys don’t much like black girls, and black women only want to be with black guys. I can’t think of a worse recipe for resentment and bitterness. Since men do some choosing in the sexual market (though men are not as choosy as women on average, neither are they mannequins standing around waiting for women to pick them out of the crowd), the choice by white and Asian men to overlook black women is going to have repercussions.”
So he thinks Black women are jealous and resentful of Black men/White Women relationships? Please. I don’t spend my waking moment obsessing over such relationships like some White men such as Roissy do. He’s the one with the problem. That commentary says more about him than the Black women he frequently bashes.
La Reyna
LaReyna,
Roissy knows NOTHING about REAL BW and he NEVER will.
You’re correct in your assessment of him as an ANTI-BLACK/RACIST HATER who promotes LIES, MYTHS, and STEREOTYPES about BW and is insecure about BM having relationships with NON-BLACK women.
Roissy knows NOTHING about REAL BW and he NEVER will.
I completely agree. He’s clueless about BW. Obsidian gets us but, unfortunately, he’s blabbing to the whole world about it now.
Here’s the deal on Roissy:
Game works. It just does. Game works on women like a low neckline and a short skirt work on men. We’re programmed that way. Any playa can tell you that. But it works differently on different women.
The “problem” with BW (especially the middle and upper-class BW who are under a lot of pressure to succeed and not end up someone’s baby-mamma) is that we know Game. We see it in use all around us. We recognize swagger, blow off negs, and weed through the PUAs efficiently. You act like that and we’ll drop you like a rock. We don’t even give it a chance to work on us. We see it coming from a mile away, put on blinders, and say, “Oh hell no. Not one of those. Pass. Next, please.”
Now, once you’re in a relationship a little bit of Game can go a long way. And women can have Game, too (I mentioned that in that other post.) There’s nothing wrong with Game itself, but obvious Game will get you vetted out by any self-respecting BW. We’ve got enough crap to deal with everyday without having to put up with playas.
“The “problem” with BW (especially the middle and upper-class BW who are under a lot of pressure to succeed and not end up someone’s baby-mamma) is that we know Game. We see it in use all around us. We recognize swagger, blow off negs, and weed through the PUAs efficiently. You act like that and we’ll drop you like a rock. We don’t even give it a chance to work on us. We see it coming from a mile away, put on blinders, and say, “Oh hell no. Not one of those. Pass. Next, please.””
Thank you! I avoid “game” and an overcompensating swagger like the plague. It’s too cliche.
Yes, but the difficulty is when quality men know and use Game. They keep it to themselves at the beginning but then pull it out to thwart “female Game” when it’s time for a commitment. It’s hard to vet those guys. That’s when plan B comes into play: keep your legs closed.
This dude is utterly ridiculous! Siditty Rocks for setting him straight on his blog.
Siditty Rocks for setting him straight on his blog.
Yeah, kudos to her for the effort, but she’s wasting her breath. Trying to influence someone as corrupt as Roissy is like shaking your hand at the sun: pointless.
I need to write a post on Game to show what it’s SUPPOSED to be used for. These PUAs are taking something valuable and twisting it for evil purposes. Drives me crazy.
@B&G
Yes please!!! I was going to ask more about this Game stuff….but thought was one of those if you need it explained to you then you don’t need to know, type things…… lol
Sure. The first time I heard about Game I thought: what in the world is that? LOL. I’ll work on it tomorrow. Gotta get off the computer now.
Well… what do you know? Obsidian just wrote a thoughtful piece on Game:
http://theobsidianfiles.wordpress.com/2009/11/18/discourses-upon-the-game-from-a-personal-point-of-view/
This is exactly right. Game is about understanding the intrinsic nature of the opposite sex and using that ability to deepen your relationship with one of them. And that usually leads to more and better sex.
Of course, some people claim that long term relationship (LTR) Game is an oxymoron. They say game should be about “pumping and dumping” (isn’t that a charming phrase?) and everything else is just relationship advice. The jury’s still out on that one.
Aw ha…..noted and thanks : )
Even though I find him somewhat insightful and spot on about some things, I don’t like that guy.
Hello Agabond,
I was running a Google search for my name and your site came up. Didn’t even know you existed, and I’m very pleased that you happen to be Black as well! Also very pleased that my humble abode has been mentioned here. I’m most happy to return the favor; I’ll be adding you to my blogroll momentarily.
Thanks so much again for the kudos and glad to meet ya and everyone else here!
The Obsidian