“Good hair” among blacks in North America and the West Indies is understood to mean hair that is flowing and smooth, preferably long and full - like a white woman’s.
Bad hair, accordingly, is nappy hair, hair that is kinky, coarse and woolly, hair that does not lay down – the hair that most black women are born with.
Some black women are, in fact, born with good hair or something close to it. But most try to achieve it by straightening their natural hair with a hot comb or dangerous chemicals (relaxers), by sewing or gluing in a hair weave or by wearing a wig.
For every dollar that black women in America spend on their hair, other women spend four cents.
Natural hairstyles are way cheaper and easier to maintain – and do far less damage to your hair – yet they lack the perceived advantages of good hair:
- Good hair is considered to be prettier by many. While it is part of white ideas of female beauty, it seems to be more firmly a part of black ideas of beauty. For example, black women in magazine ads are more likely to have straight hair than white women. Or: white men seem to like natural hair in black women more than black men do.
- It is thought to be more acceptable and respectable, especially at work. You hear stories, for example, of women getting fired because they wore their hair natural. Or: Malia Obama wore her hair in a natural style on campaign trail in the summer of 2008 but then got it straightened for the Democratic Convention when she would appear in front of millions.
- It is seen as safe: women who think about going natural fear the hard time that others will give them.
- Simply because it is harder to achieve, it becomes more prized.
Ideas about good hair come from slave days. Slave masters favoured those with good hair and light skin. It was probably because they were their blood relations, not because of how they looked. Nevertheless it still had the effect of brainwashing blacks into thinking that good hair was, in fact, good.
That brainwashing took on a life of its own, being pushed by blacks themselves. It weakened a bit in the late 1960s when the Afro came into fashion, but it is still going strong, even now in 2009.
Some blame television. It does play a part: from Beyonce to Claire Huxtable, most black women on television do not wear their hair in a natural style. Yet the good hair thing was, if anything, stronger before television came along (judging from old pictures and old women I know).
Is it a form of self-hatred? Many women say no. Even those who are otherwise very proud of being black will straighten their hair. Michelle Obama is a well-known example. Yet it is hard for me not to agree with the women in “School Daze” (1988) who were called “jigaboos” for wearing their hair natural: “I don’t mind being black”.
See also:
I’m not Black, but I also have had my own issues of good and bad hair – the Asian version. It’s the weirdest thing, but I don’t have the stereotypical Asian hair- fine, soft, straight hair. In fact, my hair has a tendency to be wavy, coarse, and very thick.
I went through stages where I wanted very curly hair, and then I wanted super straight hair. Throughout my teen and early adult years, I abused my hair so much from all the processing (perms and dyes) to the point of it falling out in clumps.
Nowadays, I simply leave my hair alone…go au naturale with the subtle waves. I’ll only straighten my hair when I go out somewhere special.
Good post Abagond.
I would only disagree that hair straightened with a hot comb or flat iron isn’t natural. I tend to think of natural as meaning “without chemical alterations”, because straightening doesn’t permanently change the hair texture (for the most part). If that were the case, we’d have to say that few White women have natural hair, because a lot of White girls meticulously straighten their hair every day, but we don’t think of that as “unnatural”.
Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of commercials with people with natural hair in them, but most of the time there is an insinuation that they are mixed, as if the only type of natural hair a Black person can have is an afro.
My hair is curly and wavy like,
and i get sick of hearing people ask me where i am from.
I had employees think i was spanish and i had some people think i am from somalia.
I had the french guy say i looked egyptian.
Sad world we live in.
My dad’s co-workers at his job think he is filipino/hawaiian/spanish….LOL
they always think he is not black
because of his skin color and hair.
I wear my hair natural, i use Jojoba oil and coconut oil to ocndition my hair.
Don’t use chemicals! Use natural stuff!
@ERE:
Yes, Jojoba oil and coconut oil treatments are wonderful! It certainly has helped my hair look and feel better.
Hobacare.com makes good Jojoba oil its organic and natural.
Its expensive but a gallon lasts a long time.
The shampoo Aussie is good because it has jojoba oil in it, so i use Aussie to wash my hair.
Hey, thanks for the suggestions, ERE!
Regarding this good hair/bad hair business, have you ever had anyone touch your hair? I’m only asking because I’ve had some women…okay, all white women…try to touch my hair to feel the texture. I had one woman quickly run her fingers through my hair and remarked it wasn’t what she thought it would feel like. I cussed her due to her rudeness. It’s my effing hair and no one has the right to touch it!
leigh204,
I have people constantly touching my hair, but way more Black people touch than Whites. White people tend to stare more, like I’m an alien. I think I throw a lot of people off, because I’m not light skinned. The touching doesn’t really bother me. It’s when I hear people whispering, “Is that a weave?” That is just my greatest pet peeve.
I will add that most people are very complimentary.
Lynette says:
“It’s when I hear people whispering, “Is that a weave?” That is just my greatest pet peeve.”
Yeah, it’s assumed your long hair is not real.
“I will add that most people are very complimentary.”
From what I can see in your avatar, Lynette, you have lovely hair.
Thanks Leigh, and you are very pretty!
I’ve chopped off my “good” hair and am now practically bald, but loving my natural hair. Will never perm again – it was killing my hair!
If you go to YOUTUBE, you’ll find videos of women embracing their natural looks – as far as I am concerned, natural is “good hair”.
Just my 2 cents.
@Lynette:
Aw, thank you. You’re so sweet. :S
@Leigh
You’re welcome!
I wear my hair in locs and have done so for three years. I latch hook the roots as they grow out. I can wash my hair as often as I want using this method of maintaining my locs. I use Dr. Bonners Castile soap to wash my hair. I usually purchase a large bottle for 12CAD. Alternately, I also use shampoo bars which are all natural. For moisturizing, I use Castor oil, which usually sells for six bucks a pop.(use small amounts). Castor oil can also be used as a skin moisturizer, not just as a purgative!
I’ve used light oils like hazelnut, soy etc also. I purchased a latch hook for five dollars, and latch hook my roots every couple of months. All and all a great decision on my part!.
Before that, I wore my hair naturally for approximately eight years. I got sick and tired of the expense and upkeep of having relaxed hair, not to mention the herculean effort in keeping it looking well coiffed at all times. In the beginning, I experimented with myriad other products and methods of maintaining my hair. I have since deduced through trial and error, that less is best.
I never personally subscribed to the notion of ‘good’ hair. I did however, give in to the peer pressure at the time for fad and fashion. As I began to learn the negative connotations and the history behind this mode of thought(good hair vs bad), I stopped subscribing to fashion and reverted very quickly to my hairs natural state by cutting the relaxed bits off. I have worn braids in the past, so had an idea as to what my hair would look like loced. I also had examples in other women I knew who were advanced in the process. Being a contrarian, this was no leap of faith for me. I have not regretted it!
Lynette,
Whites stare at you like your alien? That’s so ignorant on their part. I mean, black women with long, healthy hair are not a rarity. Now white people with course, nappy hair…not rare at all. I wonder, if they react like that to many Jews, Irishmen, Italians and the like?
Hair is hair is hair. It’s really meaningless to me.
I will say that I am seeing many more everyday black women wear their natural hair. I’m also seeing more of a presence of natural hair in the media. As well as in corporate positions. I can think of numerous black women who are “higher positions” who wear their own hair. So, maybe there’s progress on some front.
Lynette,
Whites stare at you like you’re an alien? That’s so ignorant on their part. I mean, black women with long, healthy hair are not rare. Neither are whites with coarse, tightly curled hair. I wonder, if they react like that to many Jews, Irishmen, Italians, etc.?
Hair is hair is hair. It’s really meaningless to me.
I will say that I am seeing more and more everyday black women wear their natural hair. I’m also seeing more of a presence of natural hair in the media. As well as in corporate positions. I can think of numerous black women who are in “higher positions” that wear their own hair. So, maybe on some level there’s progress.
Because of my dark skin, I am constantly asked if my hair is a weave. It’s as if a dark skinned black woman cannot have long hair without it being a weave. I know this sounds sort of conceited or crazy, but I got a lot of jealously and catty remarks from black women about my hair. I workout a lot because I am a fitness instructor so I rarely wore it down when I had a relaxer and when I did people were surprised at the actual length. I had one white lady who was married to a black man constantly ask me if I was wearing a weave. I wondered if her husband probably told her that the majority of black women have short hair and wear weaves. It seemed that no matter how many times I told her “no” she would still ask the same question, it was rather annoying.
This year (July), I decided to stop messing around with relaxers and wear my hair natural. I chopped off all of my relaxed hair and am now sporting a short afro. My family (especially my mom) hates it and is freaking out. Everytime they see me, they make comments that are very insulting like “when are you getting a perm” and “for heaven’s sake, girl why did you cut your hair!” I could care less and feel like I have been set free!
I recently cut my relaxed hair off as well. Very liberating experience.
But I don’t think the same issues and standards stand in today’s relaxed vs. natural argument. For alot of women, they never had a choice about relaxing their hair and don’t care to have short hair. So they get perms in order to maintain what’s already been decided for them. You could blame the parents, but for many, this is of ritual- their mothers did it to them, and their grandmothers did it to their mothers…
If I recall, hot combing your hair only lasts so long. Once you break that sweat from running and playing you have to straighten your hair all over again.
I don’t disagree with the post. I just think black hair and black hair care has led to some interesting concepts in the bonding between African women. I may be natural now but that doesn’t mean I regret getting perms, sitting in a beauty shop for hours, etc… it has its pluses. The bonds you form, the conversations that take place… all of this to achieve “good hair”.
A lot of people seem to think Michelle Obama is “anti-white” or “extremist” (which is probably code for “too black”.) That may be why she fels the need to do that to her hair.
Right now my hair is falling out. Any hair would be good hair for me.
I didn’t grow up hearing the good hair bad hair thing in my family the only good hair was healthy hair wheter it was natural or chemically altered so yeah always had good hair.
At 13 I decided to relax my hair my mother was like “are you sure?” Anyway i remeber being in high school and one of my friends was fawning over another friend’s hair who is half black half white.
I remeber one time when all of my friend had our hair out it fros and blow out Diana ross kinda thing and a Asian south african teacher said “when are you girls going to comb your hair?”
I replied with “When you decide to brush your teeth” thank god the black teachers in the school backed me up on that one.
In my experience here in London I see a huge variety of natural and chemically altered. The style i see most teen black girls wearing is the hear slicked back in a ponytail puff basically its the bigger the better.
I’m currently natural the decison wasn’t deep i just got bored with relaxers. I have had people i don’t know touch my hair and they were white a woman pulled my hair on the bus coz she thought it was fake so I returned the favour by pulling her hair and dragging out one of her glued in track.
As for weaves i have worn them as a protective style but they have always matched my texture so you couldn’t tell unless I told you
@mynameismyname
Yes, White people stare at me like I’m an alien. It is a look that says, “She is not supposed to have that hair.”
My hair has really been the story of my life. I know that sounds crazy, but people will judge you based on the texture of your hair, especially in the Black community. Having the so called “good hair” ( a term I hate) has been a double edged sword. People decide to love or hate me simply because of my hair. I think I have a love/hate relationship with my hair, because of the way I’ve been treated. My hair caused me to experience a significant amount of anxiety in my life, because people haven’t always been nice. I wish people wouldn’t judge me based upon my hair. After years of being in the counseling and psychological profession, I still struggle with the rejection that I have felt from women just like myself who have chosen to dislike me because of my hair. In the famous words of India Arie, “I am not my hair.”
Wow, Lynette. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
Abagond,
Don’t most of the “beautiful black women” you pick have straightened hair? Cognitive dissonance?
Thanks Leigh. You don’t know the half of it.
^ Really? There’s more? I’m all “ears” so-to-speak.
I think the natural/chemical/weave/dye/ accessory argument is less about black hair than the fact that women (in America at least) are taught to be dissatisfied with whatever hair(body) they have (for a myriad of reasons, including past/present racisms). It just so happens that when this is applied to black hair, it gets troublesome and expensive. Afterall, those with ‘limp’ hair will perm it into curls, while those with curls will go to great lengths to straighten it.
@Lynette
): I’m super sorry to hear about all the trouble you go/went through about your hair. At least I know I’m not alone though.
Those without kinky hair seem to just be benignly curious about it. It’s the clumps of black people who will stop talking when i pass by, and give me a look that makes me feel like I’ve just descended from a spaceship.It’s always been like that, and I’ve always resented it. My hair is not any better than most, I just have a knack for dealing with it. (yes, it’s relaxed)
@mynameismyname
Have you ever heard the term ‘Jew-fro’? It seems to be a funny but OK thing if a white person has an afro.
@Leigh,
I’m sure before we get done talking about this topic, I will have shared a great deal about my experiences. I will not leave you hanging, lol. Thanks for listening.
@Erin
Thanks for being able to empathize with me. I think we can truly relate. I also know that look that you are talking about (like you have descended from a spaceship).
The rub is that if you are black woman, whatever your hair is, it’s probably wrong according to someone else.
I was natural until 21, and for the large part it seemed to inspire ignorance in others, who thought that it denoted
A. poor hygiene (do you use deodourants, because if you wanna be natural)…
B. Militancy, people would always offer me the whole well you afro- centrists….
C. men presumed that i was too conscious to date…. i could not find one man to lay down with, not even the ugliest, drunkest one shoe benefit cheat would glance my way.
one day in the mid 2000’s i relaxed my hair. After that no body asked if i bathed, used soap or deodourant, maybe it was clear that i had “normal” hygiene standards.
If i offer an opinion at a debate or black history forum nobody uses militancy as a rebuttal, maybe i do not seem so militant but my views haven’t changed only my hair.
Finally the humiliation to beat them all, the very same week that i got my hair straightened, a guy that i passed almost daily on the way to work not to mention up in the club all the time, stopped me asked me if i lived around the area was i new to the area.
apparently he would have noticed somebody as fine as me if he had seem me before…….
Somewhere a baby jesus cries for the bullshit the world heaps on black women and their hair.
i loved my naturaol hair, i cared for it, the world cares not for natural blcak hair on women unfortunately.
I’m going to post on this over at my blog soon.
Wow, Lynette.
It’s amazing how much impact the stuff on top of your hair has had on your life. What’s more sad is that you’re not the first black woman I’ve heard share such experiences.
The effects of anti-black racism is powerful!
I’m seriously considering going back natural myself. As a student, I haven’t had the time or the funds to get my relaxed hair taken care off as needed. The recession has made an already bad situation even worse; hell, I’m surprised that I have hair left! Since I plan to work in the art field, a career path notorious for flipping off society, I don’t expect much if any flack for not having straight, shoulder length hair.
@ lifeisannoying – That sucks. That really sucks, and I can see it happening here as well (Jamaica). Seems a lot of black men have bought into the long flowing ‘pretty’ hair fetish. *sigh*
Lynette,
Sorry to hear about that. Sometimes, as black women we can be our own worst enemy. In high school, I went through the same things with a group of black girls. I had very long hair and they would say that the only reason guys liked me or people thought I was pretty was because of my hair. I started to believe that, so after graduation I cut it off chin length and it’s been that length ever since. I make it a point to not do anything to it (ponytails, wild spice girl hair) just to prove them wrong.
Everyone has their Achilles’ heel, for me, it’s been moreso being thin than my hair, but I can relate because the effect is the same.
You do have beautiful hair and I don’t understand why someone would try to make you feel bad because of it.
To me hair is hair. I think women should take whatever they have and and make it work for them.
@mynameismyname
“The effects of anti-black racism is powerful!”
Agreed!
islandgirl says:
“Sorry to hear about that. Sometimes, as black women we can be our own worst enemy. In high school, I went through the same things with a group of black girls. I had very long hair and they would say that the only reason guys liked me or people thought I was pretty was because of my hair. I started to believe that, so after graduation I cut it off chin length and it’s been that length ever since. I make it a point to not do anything to it (ponytails, wild spice girl hair) just to prove them wrong.”
Islandgirl,
Wow! My experience was very similar. I also had girls to tell me that guys just liked me because of my hair. The fact that you went to such great lengths to prove differently shows just how serious this issue is in our community.
Do you feel people started being nicer to you when you cut your hair and wore it in ponytails?
Islandgirl says:
“You do have beautiful hair and I don’t understand why someone would try to make you feel bad because of it.”
Thanks Islandgirl. I think I needed this therapy.
It’s so unfortunate to read about all of the comments and pressures people attach to hair, of all thing. I went to the mall yesterday (after reading and commenting on this post), and I was scratching my head about the stereotype that long hair on a Black woman = a weave. I see Black women with long hair all the time, and it’s not just the light-skinned ones (lol).
My hair is bra-strap length, but it’s layered so the pieces in the front frame my face and it gradually gets longer as you go around my head. At school (which is predominantly White), some of the Black girls act like my hair is really “special” and marvel at how long it is. What’s strange is that they always marvel after I cut it (I feel like a beast before I get a much-needed trim
), and talk about Your hair’s so long!/Why did you cut it?/It grows so fast!/etc. I like my hair, but I don’t think it’s all that marvelous, so I’m puzzled as to why they have this reaction (it’s not even like I have the longest hair out of all the Black girls here). I wonder if long hair on a darker-skinned girl is seen as an anomaly?
Most of the girls I know who covet long hair don’t have it because they don’t take care of it, not because they can’t grow it. Interesting…(I’d love to segue into a conversation about what Black women teach their daughters about taking care of their hair, but I’ve already written enough. Until next time
)
A Black woman having long dark hair = a weave.
Is just the most rediculous comment I’ve ever heard. Don’t people realise that a lot of white women have extensions as well!
Heck even some black men get their hair relaxed. E.g. Didier Drogba
Here’s some info and pics of him:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Didier_Drogba
http://www.jamati.com/online/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/didier-drogba.jpg
http://www.sl.undp.org/4_media/Newsroom/drogba_club.jpg
Here’s one for the ladies or gay dudes (there could be some on this site):
http://rodonline.typepad.com/rodonline/images/2008/05/04/2008_05_05_didier_drogba.jpg
Personally I think he’s an ugly sod and play for a horrible football (or as you yanks call it soccer) team but I respect his skills.
Hate to say it, but he looks a “HOT MESS”
I don’t think that only black women have this issue with the good hair.
Do you remember of Nicole Kidman, Julia Roberts, Jessica Alba , Jlo, Eva Mendes etc…. before becoming famous?
All did away with their curly look
I do think Hollywood puts pressure on the female’s to look a certain way, that’s why so many end up straightening their hair if it’s curly.
because curly, kinky etc.. hair would never be considered elegant, glamorous or sexy.
Look all those movies where the formerly, awkward, unpopular curly girl is suddenly silky-haired become hot.
Curly, kinky etc seen as unprofessional less sophisticated… and some who sport that type of hair is seen as lazy.
Which of coure is untrue!
This issue is close to my heart right now. I dont comment often but I read this blog @ least 3 times a week. I kinda know wot all ur online personas r like lol.
I have relaxed hair, goin natural in 12months. Because I disliked my natural hair for a while…I wanted what was classed as good hair. Now I FULLY understand that my hair is beautiful, it is fantastic and it is the way God made it. So how can it be “bad”????!!!! I’m glad I’m learnin to love myself.
I’ve noticed in LDN that the sort of young blk women that wear their natural hair r more on my wavelength its hard to put into words but…b’cos they r more comfy w/ themselves and I dunno but they seem cooler.
So many ppl think long hair on a blk woman = weave/wig. It’s wrong and ignorant!!!!
The tyra show did a real gd episode on it… check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeXUm8OOUA8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0DgVijM7Z8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBoBR20n8S4&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g13u0w2oP4&feature=related
Nubiah,
Your hair is gorgeous!
I agree with you about the curly hair not being acceptable even among White celebrities. Good point!
Lynette says:
Islandgirl,
Wow! My experience was very similar. I also had girls to tell me that guys just liked me because of my hair. The fact that you went to such great lengths to prove differently shows just how serious this issue is in our community.
Do you feel people started being nicer to you when you cut your hair and wore it in ponytails?
No! They moved on to other things. The truth is that someone is always going to find something to level you to make themselves feel better.
Most people don’t realize how hurtful comments and actions like these are. No one has empathy for women who experience this. But the truth is, as you know, it is VERY hurtful. Hell hath no fury like a jealous, vindicative woman. And even though you know that it’s jealousy, it still is very painful. It is damaging to your self-esteem. But you can articulate this better than me, hence your profession.
I could honestly write a book on different experiences. Hair is one of many hot buttons for black women.
I hope no one takes offense, but I think that black on black hate is not discussed enough. It is very prevelant and I think if it’s addressed it would make us that much stronger as a culture.
Nubiah,
You’re right! I’ve seen many white women go to great lengths to straighten their hair. I can recall one incident where a white girl flipped out after someone playfully splashed water on her head at a local pool. She started screaming and hollering that they were going to “ruin her hair since it’s not naturally straight!”. It just goes to show you that a desire for straight hair is yet another things Western blacks have assimilated from greater white ideas of beauty and acceptability.
Also, like Vin pointed out, if hair extensions and weave attachments were to vanish off the face of earth tomorrow, a large percentage (if not the majority) of white women would surely freak out! That’s how much they utilize them!
Matter of fact, all of those non-black female celebs that Nubiah named are famous for wearing extensions! That’s why the length of their hair changes everytime you see them in public.
@Islandgirl:
I very much agree with you that black on black hate needs to be discussed with an aim to removing it. It’s a very real and very destructive problem.
The concept of ‘good hair’ is one of tooo many things that plague the black community. Curly-Kinky hair is constantly given negative meaning. A congresswoman Cynthia McKinney wore her hair out in a natural curly style. I believe she used to have locks/braids but then cut those off. A radio DJ on a nationally syndicated news program called her a “ghetto slut” just because of the hair change. Basically to this news person/commentator her hair is a reflection of her ability to do her job and also makes her uneducated and immoral. I also saw it as something deeper-an attack on her femininity and status as a human being. All of these inflammatory remarks were said because of a hair style. It is beyond ridiculous
abagond likes long hair
i agree with g-ball. if you’re dark or even brown skin, sometimes you’re accused of having a weave in your hair and i’ve had that comment before growing up. i guess some people weren’t use to seeing a black girl with long hair. i never made much of an issue with my hair because i liked the fact it was thick, long, wavy and black. when i get my hair straighten, people will always say “you’re hair is so pretty” or “are you mixed?” sometimes it would get annoying about people talking about my hair, especially if they say i’m mixed when i’m not. you don’t have to be mixed or light skin to achieve long, healthy hair. the first time i had my hair relaxed was when i was 18 because at first i was kind of scared. people will tell me i shouldn’t do it because it will fall out, you’re hair won’t be the same, etc. i tried it anyway and to be honest, i liked it. my hair was relax and wasn’t frizzy because when i would straighten my hair, my edges were always stick up and never stay down and that would be frustrating. with the perm, it stayed down. even when i work out it still looked the same. that was the last time i had a perm because my hair did fall out so i wore my hair naturally for a while so it would grow back. lately i have seen many black women wear their natural hair than i see black women with weaves. personally i don’t trip on women getting perms, weaves and wigs because i feel it’s a choice. some may do it as a form of self hate but we can’t assume all black women get perms to look more of a white woman. and i don’t think we should bash on the women that do wear weaves and get perms because all we’re doing is making them feel bad about what they do, just as much we shouldn’t bash on women who wear their hair natural. we shouldn’t let our hair define us as black women. i still wear my hair natural most of the time because you can’t always flat iron you’re hair because it would get dry, burnt, split ends, etc. i say having hair on your head is good hair and shouldn’t care what people think. as long you’re happy and secure with yourself then that’s all that matters.
Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of commercials with people with natural hair in them, but most of the time there is an insinuation that they are mixed, as if the only type of natural hair a Black person can have is an afro.
I hate this, I wear my hair natural and because it isn’t an afro, people will ask what I am mixed with or will make comments about how I can go natural because I have “good hair”, but they don’t. I’ve been relaxer free since 1999, and initially when I did this, I got a lot of flack from black women and my parents thought I was crazy and would never get a decent job.
Thankfully natural hair has mainstreamed enough to where people will now compliment you versus call your hair unkempt or ugly.
———–
I wear my hair natural, i use Jojoba oil and coconut oil to ocndition my hair.
Shea butter and coconut oil, I quit with blue magic and the pink lotion once I went natural
————
s, have you ever had anyone touch your hair? I’m only asking because I’ve had some women…okay, all white women…try to touch my hair to feel the texture.
Yes, usually they are shocked it isn’t hard, but rather soft.
————-
The touching doesn’t really bother me. It’s when I hear people whispering, “Is that a weave?” That is just my greatest pet peeve.
I hate this, when I have flat ironed my hair in the past, people would assume weave. I had a white woman once tell me a black person told her black women couldn’t have long hair so I must be wearing a weave. I told her I had never even worn a weave in my life. My hair is now is just past my waist when straightened (my husband likes longer hair, and I promised my grandfather I wouldn’t ever cut it short again about 15 years ago) and people look at me like I am a weirdo or ask what cocktail of vitamins or hair stimulator I used to grow my hair. That or they feel in my hair for a track check.
Islandgirl,
I agree 100% on comment #41.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that green eyed monster.
I don’t really understand the debate, to be honest. Most of the white women I know straighten, perm, color, add extensions, and otherwise torture their hair and nobody cares. My (white) mom uses a blow dryer and a flat iron on hers every morning. When my hair was longer, so did I. Why is it only a racial statement when I do it and not when she does? Hair is just decoration and something to keep your brain from freezing and your scalp from burning.
Or: white men seem to like natural hair in black women more than black men do.
This is true. I don’t know why, though. It seems counter-intuitive.
I’ve chopped my “good hair” off really short now. Free at last!
BTW, a lot of black women have absolutely beautiful necks and hide them under all that hair. They’d look better if they just chopped it off and showed off their shoulders. I think you should only let your hair grow long if the parts of you that it covers aren’t particularly interesting.
But that’s my beauty-philosophy.
Black and German says:
“BTW, a lot of black women have absolutely beautiful necks and hide them under all that hair. They’d look better if they just chopped it off and showed off their shoulders. I think you should only let your hair grow long if the parts of you that it covers aren’t particularly interesting.”
My husband always likes when I wear my hair in a high bun, because he likes looking at my neck. I never heard anybody else say that.
That’s why my husband prefers my hair short; to show off my neck.
I got the “what are you mixed with” because my hair was longer. I just tell them I’m mixed with black and blacker. Yeah I got good hair because I got African in me.
Lol, I love the black and blacker comment. loool
I really hate how people assume darker skinned blacks can’t have long hair. Mine is past my shoulders. My cousin, who is Alek Wek’s color, has long hair to her butt and whenever her hair is discussed people always feel the need to bring up White ancestors as being the reason for it. That annoys me. Also, Why can’t Black people just realize that not all black women are bald headed and several actually do have long hair? I wish Chris Rock discussed that in his movie.
DJ,
I am in total agreement with you. We had a similar discussion on the thread about Kenya Moore.
Lynette,
thanks to your comment #40!
Back to you!!!!
@Annaleisha:
Thanks for the link to this particular clip.
My heart went out to these little girls. They’re all beautiful. I teared up for Kalayshia and Shaniyah. It breaks my heart to see them look so sad.
I can’t believe Malia’s mom. She said she purposely went outside of her race so her children will have better hair speaks volumes. I found Kiana’s mom rather annoying. She relaxes and puts weaves in her daughter’s hair because it’s easier for her. Selfish woman.
And poor 3 year-old Ranasia. Just listening to her say “Ow” while the relaxer is being applied made me shake my head. That is not good for such a young child.
Nubiah,
You are very welcome!
I read this article just now and it’s appalling.
December 13, 2009. MediaTakeOut.com learned of a very disturbing story. A Milwaukee schoolteacher was arrested, for cutting off a 7 year old girl’s hair.
Here’s how it all popped off. The little girl, Lamya Cammon, was playing with her hair in class – causing the beads at the end of her braids to click together loudly. Her first grade teacher asked Lanya to stop. And when she didn’t, she did the unthinkable.
Here’s how Lamya explained to ABC News12 Milwaukee what happened:
She said the teacher called her to the front of the room and cut it in front of the whole class.
“What did you do?” [The reporter] asked.
“I went to my desk and cried. And they was laughing,” Cammon said. “She threw it away, and she said, ‘Now what you gonna go home and say to your momma?’ And I said, ‘That you cut off my hair,’” Cammon said.
Lamya has been growing her braids, which are 100% natural, since she was an infant.
As soon as Lamya’s mother found out what the teacher did, she called police. They charged the teacher with disorderly conduct. If convicted she faces a fine of $175.
Seems like that teacher should get MORE than just a $175 fine!!!!
http://www.mediatakeout.com/2009/37509-shocking_pics_teacher_decides_to_punish_a_7_year_old_black_girl____by_cutting_off_her_hair____which_she_has_been_growing_since_birth_close_ups_inside.html
I feel badly for the little girl. She’s a cutie. That teacher was in the wrong. I hope the girl’s family files a lawsuit.
So far no lawsuit, but the teacher did receive a fine of $175 for disorderly conduct! That’s bs.
Sometimes I think black women develop these issues regarding their hair because of what we were taught as children. If a child hears their mom or dad use the term “good hair” when refering to straight hair, the child will believe there is something wrong with wooly hair. It not always possible to shield children from racism and colorism, but it starts at home. Most of the people in my family are pan africanist. Meaning, they are very into uplifting black people, especially when it relates to issues such as hair. Both my parents told me that my hair is good just the way it is. If anything, they encouraged me not to wear a perm. Because of this, I loved and still like my hair. Don’t get me wrong. Like many black women, I feel insecure at times, because it is always hard when you are different. But most of the time, I love my hair. I wore my hair natural, in a huge Afro puff, until I was 24 years old. The only reason why I stopped wearing it natural is because my boyfriend thought it would look better in a perm. He, in fact, put the perms in my hair. The point I am making is that black people can help get rid of the self hatred that is in our community by how we raise our children. Tell them they are beautiful just the way God made them. Also, teach them black history. Expose them to African Americans arts( my mom took me to African american plays and musicals as a child). Tell them their hair IS good hair. It will help instill pride in them.